NOTE: Official story start is Chapter 7: Prologue. Chapters 1-6 are my initial attempt(s) at writing this story. I'm now taking a different approach but have decided to leave these up for those that may enjoy them. Happy Reading :)

"The Push" [Archives]

Session One (Part I)

"It's just hard."

"What's hard?" he asks, his amber eyes boring through me though I refuse to meet his gaze. "Admitting that you have this problem?"

"No," I say, but the word sounds hollow coming out of my mouth. "I mean talking about the problem." As if on instinct, my fingers flex and my hands are in fists. Talking things out is not something I enjoy doing, be it with my brother, a friend, or a stranger. Other strategies have always worked better for me, or so I thought. Merlon clears his throat and I look up. His eyes are focused on my left hand. The skin is stretched and if I keep digging my nails into my palm the stitches on my knuckles are sure to rip. The ones across my middle knuckle have already begun to tear, and a sliver of blood is beginning to collect. I'm tempted to turn my wrist, to watch and feel the red liquid slip across my skin. Dangle. Then fall.

"Ahem," Merlon emphasizes, louder this time, and I relax my hands.

"Sorry," I say, trying my best to look into his eyes as I speak. "It's a—"

"Force of habit," he finishes, handing me a tissue. "Something we'll definitely have to work on. But back to what we were talking about before, how you—"

"How it's hard for me to talk about this," I can finish his sentences, too. "That's not weird though. A lot of people don't like talking about their problems."

"This is true," he responds. "But we're not thinking about other people. We're thinking about you right now, Mario."

About me.

"While you are known to be quite taciturn, I think there are other reasons as to why you're stalling the inevitable."

I blink. "I'm not stalling anything!"

"Of course, you are," for a moment I think I see a smile at the corners of his eyes. "You're on the defensive, as is natural for your fighting spirit." He readjusts himself in his chair before continuing. "You're not used to being so vulnerable."

This is what I didn't want. To be analyzed and deconstructed down to my habits, thoughts, and feelings. And this is only the beginning. Merlon has this way about him where he doesn't even have to have you speak your mind, he just reads you like a book from observation. Sure, his magic plays a role in this but he's also brilliant in his own right, inquisitive. His readings have helped me dozens of times in the past, on adventures all over the Mushroom Kingdom, but this time is different. This time there about me, and I don't want to hear them.

It's all part of the process, Mario. You just gotta trust me.

Right.

"Mario." I jump. Merlon tugs at his beard as he asks, "Were you listening?"

I open my mouth to speak but close it again, then shrug my shoulders.

One of the great things about Merlon is that he's incredibly patient. I think it's just his personality but it's one of the reasons he's so approachable. He summarizes for me: "There are times when it is alright to let our guards down."

"I realize that," I admit. "I have no issue confiding in you, Merlon. I know you'll keep this between us."

He leans in. "But?"

"But I don't feel comfortable sharing everything with you right away. That would be too," I reach for the word and take hold, but it doesn't want to slip through my lips. My brows furrow and I want to clench my fists again.

"Painful?" He's so good at that. I release the air trapped in my lungs and stare at him again. "I can only imagine. It wouldn't be fair of me to ask you to relive all of your painful memories at once. That being said," he pauses, as if considering his choice of words, "we will have to get to all of the memories eventually. But we will transition at a pace you feel most comfortable with." This time I'm confident he's smiling under his mustache and bushy beard.

I almost smile back.

"So, where would you like to begin?" he asks, resting his elbows on the arms of his chair. "What's on your mind today?"

You can literally talk about whatever you want. What's most important to YOU, what's bothering YOU at that point in time and they'll listen. And offer some advice. Because they're there to help you. The sooner you come to terms with that, the better you'll be. Trust me.

A sour taste forms in my mouth. "I want to talk about Daisy."