I just kept thinking this over in my head for a long time. The dynamics could be really cool and interesting and Spidey would actually fit really well in the world of Amphibia. So I'm finally putting it on paper. And yes, there will be shipping.
I own nothing.
"You have reached the voicemail box of Happy Hogan," the ever increasingly familiar beep of the dial tone sounded off. Peter held off a sigh of disappointment. It was to be expected. Happy was practically Mr. Stark's right-hand man (except for Ms. Potts er… wouldn't that be a right-hand woman?) so he obviously would be too busy for another one of Peter's daily reports.
"Hey, Happy, here's my report for the day," Peter started with his usual upbeat attitude. "I stopped a grand-theft bicycle," Peter chuckled until he realized how lame that sounded. "Uh… I couldn't find the owner so I just left a note." Oh, he just realized he probably should have webbed the bike to something just in case. "I helped this lost old lady and she bought me a churro… so that was nice." He mumbled as he took another bite of his sandwich.
"So um… I was just wondering when my next big mission was? I just uh… I feel like I could be doing more, ya know?" Peter swallowed before going into a short coughing fit. Yup, a pickle went down the wrong pipe. "Sorry, about that just… choked on my sandwich a bit. So uh… anyway just call me back… This is Peter… Parker." Peter just groaned as he hung up the phone. It was a voicemail and somehow it still managed to be one of the most awkward phone conversations of his life.
"Why would I mention the churro?" Peter could barely even take HIMSELF seriously. Was it just him, or was New York a whole lot quieter than usual?
It was weird how one trip could really change your perspective on everything. Two months ago, he'd totally be fine with this, swinging around the neighborhood, preventing crimes and catastrophes where he could. But then Tony freaking Stark showed up at his apartment! Then Peter's in Berlin fighting half of the Avengers including Captain America himself! It was after that fight that Peter realized how much more he could be doing. Helping Iron Man take down a guy the size of a building seemed a lot more important than stopping a guy from breaking into his own car.
He wished he could say today was a fluke, but unfortunately, today felt just like the last couple of months. He was just a guy swinging around in red and blue spandex. The new suit that Mr. Stark gave him was absolutely awesome. So much more breathable and flexible, plus a thousand times easier to get in and out of. But ever since he got it, he felt more like a mascot than a hero, evidenced by how the two guys wanted to see "the spider guy from YouTube" do a flip.
He guessed it was pretty cool he had some kind of fans. But was Spider-Man really going to be nothing more than another passing fad online? "Dude, Perfect!" had more views than his videos!
Peter NEEDED another real mission. Something that would actually HELP people. But Mr. Stark clearly didn't trust him with that after Berlin (that big guy's hand came out of nowhere). Peter needed something to prove he could be a real hero, one of the Avengers.
"Help! Somebody, help!" Wow, that was really conveniently timed.
Peter only sat on the railing, dumbfounded for a few seconds before stumbling to his feet. "Help, yes! I can help! I help people!" He clumsily shoved the last half of his sandwich into his backpack (he and Aunt May could NOT afford another one) as he leaped off the building, quickly thwiping out a web to swing off in the direction of the voice.
"Help! Thieves!" An elderly lady was hobbling down.
"I'm here, mam!" Peter landed as he hastily yanked his mask back over his mouth. "What happened? What's wrong?" Was it a bank robbery? Nah, given the lady it was probably a purse snatching. Didn't matter as long as he was stopping an actual crime.
"Three hoodlums just stole an antique music box from my store!" The last gestured to the nearby thrift store.
Music Box thief? This is great! Er… actually this is pretty bad but this is an actual serious crime! Something he's actually needed for! "Right! Where'd they go?"
"They went that way." The old lady pointed down the street. "When you find it, the music box will have three gems stuck in the top."
"Right," Peter nodded as he webbed a nearby lamppost and pulled himself into the air. Three gems, three hoodlums, one music box. He's got this.
The sun had set as the Queens' nightlife started. It wasn't nearly as crazy as it was in Manhatten, but it still lit up the neighborhood well enough to spot three thieves.
Sure enough, Peter could see three shadows scurrying over to the nearby park. Okay, gotta do this stealthily. He'll sneak up on them and pretend he was there the whole time. He'll even throw in a casual "Sup guys?" like a total boss.
He gracefully landed on top of a streetlamp overlooking the park, it looked like the three thieves had taken refuge and huddled on a park bench. Not exactly an evil lair but he could take what he could get. Besides, now that they stopped moving, he could more easily discern their identities.
Peter stealthily crawled across the street lamp, readying himself as he prepared to fight
...three teenage girls?
Sure enough, Peter could that the three "hoodlums" were a few Freshmen. He could even recognize the Saint James' School uniforms; they were Midtown's arch-rival in the decathlon last year.
These guys couldn't actually be the thieves, could they? No, of course not. Peter just made a mistake. He better not waste any more time here and try to find the real-
The poofy-haired one pulled a golden music box out of her backpack before settling it on her lap. Even in the lack of light, Peter could see the three multicolored gems shine.
Dang it. This was supposed to be a big crime; something that'll make Mr. Stark take him seriously. He wasn't expecting much, maybe a few armed men, not girls younger than him. Peter would've groaned if he wasn't trying to be stealthy. Oh well, a crime is a crime and a hero stops crime.
"Let's open it," the Asian-looking girl to puffy-hair suggested.
"Oh, my gosh, yeah!" the blonde girl on the right encouraged. "I bet it's something really cringy like a toad wearing a tutu."
"Uh… I dunno Sash," the poofy-haired girl nervously inspected the stolen item. "I mean, are either of you getting a 'don't touch this or you'll die' vibe from this thing?"
"Oh my God, Anne," 'Sash' groaned as she pinched the bridge of her nose. "It's a music box from a thrift store. What's it gonna do, bite your hand off?"
This 'Anne' seemed to gulp nervously. "Well, it's just-"
"Anne," Blondie cut her off with a dead stare. "We already stole the stupid thing so suck it up, quit being such a wimp, and open it."
Anne seemed to almost shrink at blondie's no-nonsense attitude. Her hand cautiously reached toward the lid.
"New plan!" Peter declared as he landed in front of the three. "You guys return the music box to that nice old lady, and we all go out for boba! Your treat."
The girls just stared at Spider-Man in confusion. "Uh...What?" asked the puffy-haired middle one with the music box.
"Ha!" Blondie guffawed. "Who are you supposed to be? Are you like a Mexican wrestler or something?"
"Oh! I know who he is!" The Asian girl to the left piped up. "He's on YouTube, the Human Spider!" She sounded way too cheery for someone caught stealing.
"Actually, it's uh- Spider-Man," Dang it, Peter! Stuttering in front of Tony Stark is one thing but this is just pathetic.
"Wait, so you're like a superhero?" the 'Anne' girl started looking a lot more panicked. "Look, dude, we just-" she was cut off by the blonde girl shushing her with a finger.
"Alright, Spider-Man," Peter could hear the air quotes as blondie said his name. "Last I checked, your not a cop. So you can't tell us what to do."
"Actually, due to the good samaritan law, I kind of can," Spider-Man shot back. "But I really don't want to beat up a bunch of girls, so it'll be easier for everyone if you just hand it over."
The girl holding the box actually seemed to be privy to the idea as she stood up and shuffled towards him. Holy cow, was this actually going to work?
"What do you think you're doing?" Dang it, Blondie!
The poofy-haired girl stopped like a deer in headlights. "Uh, well-"
"Are you seriously going to just hand it over to some Cirque du Soleil reject?" the blond girl interrogated. "He's just some square in spandex!" she rolled her eyes like she was dealing with a child. "Listen, this is what's going to happen; you're going to hold onto that box and let me do the talking."
"Actually," Spider-Man spoke up. "I was thinking of something more along the lines of this." With a click of his web-shooter, a line of webbing shot out and splatched against the music box.
"Ack! Grossgrossgrossgross-" the girl shook the music box, trying to free it from its new cocoon.
Blondie certainly didn't like that. "Hey, what do you think you're-"
Spidey just ignored her as he yanked on the line, pulling the box towards him. Unfortunately, in his haste, he didn't notice that he actually webbed the poor girl's fingers to the box so when the box went flying, so did she.
"Aaugh!" the girl screamed as, halfway through the journey towards the young hero, gravity took effect and she collided with the ground, music box still webbed to her hands.
Now, what happens next, Peter is unsure of. All he knows was that it was because of him. His pull gave both the girl and the box a lot of forward momentum, and with the girl on the ground that momentum had to go somewhere.
The music box's lid opened.
A torrent of wind, colors, and light erupted from the box and engulfed everything.
Peter blearily woke up to the feeling of weightlessness. He slowly opened his eyes as he failed to clear the thunderous pounding from his head. Ugh, his brain felt like a jackhammer. When did it get so windy?
Adrenaline shot through Peter's system as he realized the roaring in his ears was from the rushing winds courtesy of Peter's freefall out of the sky.
Crap! Wake up, Peter! He had to realign himself and throw out a web before he hits the pavement-
SPLASH
Peter's whole world became water in an instant. His fight or flight responses kicked into overdrive as he rapidly flailed his limbs in an effort to escape the unexpected liquid.
Rational thought managed to fill Peter's mind before water filled his lungs. He shook off his panic and kicked upwards. His head burst through the surface as he tried desperately to take in oxygen. No such luck as the water seemed desperate to pull him back down.
Land. He needs land! If he could just spot- aha! Grass! Not even more than ten meters away!
Peter made a mad stroke for the sign of safety and didn't stop till his hand hit something solid. Sticking his hand to the ground, he threw himself onto land.
He yanked up his mask as he violently coughed out water. After a couple of hacks, he seemed to get most of it out of his system.
Ugh… God. What the heck happened? Peter knew his neighborhood pretty well and knew that that park was nowhere near any bodies of wat-
What happened to the park?
The first thing Peter noticed was that it was daytime again. That was pretty weird, and the more he looked around, the stronger the feeling he wasn't in Kansas anymore.
The body of water Peter had just escaped from was a massive pond surrounded by all kinds of trees and wetland fauna. Giant reeds as tall as the Hulk sprouted from the water and lily pads the size of cars floated about.
"What the…" Peter stammered as he shakily stood up. "Where am I?" He looked all around him at the varying plants and insects flying about. Absolutely nothing looked familiar.
Okay, calm down, Peter. Retrace your steps. What was the last thing he remembered? He was chasing down a bunch of teenage hoodlums. They turned out to be a few girls a year younger than him. He was trying to get back a music box they stole-
The music box! It opened up and a bunch of crazy lights blinded him! Could it be the cause of this? But how? Maybe an illusion? Could all of those flashing lights have hypnotized him into hallucinating all this? Peter shot this idea down pretty quickly. Almost drowning certainly didn't FEEL like an illusion.
Teleportation? All those colorful flashes did resemble that Rainbow Bridge portal thing Thor uses to travel between Earth and Asgard. But if that's the case, where was he teleported to? Was this Asgard? Somehow he thought Thor's home would be a lot more majestic and awe-inspiring and less… swampy.
Well, it wasn't a perfect theory but considering all Peter had to go off of was a bright light that swallowed him and those girls-
The girls!
Spider-man's eyes darted everywhere looking for any sign of them. They were with him when the music box opened, they could've been teleported to this crazy place as well.
His eyes landed on the pond. He crashed straight into it after the flash. Could the girls have fallen in and he'd not notice it? But they haven't come up for air yet, they could be drowning!
Without thinking twice, Peter dove back into the water. The lens of his mask worked perfectly as goggles so he could see clearly within the water. Unfortunately, he couldn't see any of the girls.
He dove deeper and further into the pond, looking everywhere for something even vaguely human-shaped.
He was just about to give up when he saw a slither of movement within the waterways. Despite the buzzing in the back of his head telling him it was a bad idea, Peter couldn't even risk the one percent chance that he'd leave someone to die, so he swam towards it.
Peter could more clearly make out the shape of the creature as he moved closer towards it. The closer he got, he could tell it definitely wasn't a human. It seemed more like an eel, an eel that was nearly as long as Peter was. It turned towards Peter with beady eye-stalks, staring at him with either curiosity or hunger. It was clear which one it was as it bolted towards Peter faster than a harpoon!
It was only because of the buzzing in his head that Peter barely had time to dodge as he frantically swam to the side of the eel's strike. The eel wasn't deterred in the slightest, however, as it fluidly did a 180 and made another underwater dash at Peter.
Peter couldn't react fast enough this time, even with his weird danger sense. The eel snaked and wrapped around Peter's body like a boa constrictor and began to tighten.
Peter would've choked if he wasn't trying so desperately to hold his breath. He grabbed a piece of eel wrapped around his neck and began to pull.
The buzzing in his head suddenly screamed at him from the left and he instinctively threw out his hand. That was the right call as his hand grasped the neck of the eel just as its gaping maw was about to envelope his whole head. Holy crap, this thing had a big mouth! And were those rotating teeth?!
Summoning more of his proportionate Spider-strength he pried off the eel like King Kong prying off a giant snake. He tossed the eel as far as he could, but being underwater, that wasn't very far. The eel quickly realigned itself and dove back at Peter, its rotating teeth revving like a chainsaw.
THWIP
Peter filled its open mouth full of webbing, thankful that his web-shooters still seemed to work underwater. The eel seemed to snarl and convulse, forgetting Peter in favor of removing this foreign substance from its mouth.
Peter knew that those webs wouldn't hold forever, so he madly swam as quick as he could back to dry land, his arms desperately stroking towards the surface.
As soon as his head breached the water he greedily sucked in air. But he didn't stop swimming until he crawled back onto the steady grass.
Okay, he could safely say that the girls were not in the lake. Which means that they were either A. Still back in Queens. B. They were teleported to a different location than he was or C. They were eaten by that giant eel thing. Peter REALLY hoped it wasn't C.
In summary, Peter was trapped in a foreign location, possibly a whole new WORLD. He probably had no way of contacting Mr. Stark, Aunt May, or anybody. And there were potentially three teenage girls missing.
The 15-year-old sighed. The ol' Parker luck struck again. At least he still had his backpack-
Where's his backpack?
With the sudden barrage of information all at once, Peter didn't have time to notice the distinct lack of weight on his back. He could've sworn he had his backpack on him when the music box opened. Oh man, don't tell him he lost it in the monster eel pond!
With a sigh, Peter let his head hang low. Well, he guessed it was too late now. All he can do is pick a direction and walk, preferably away from the death pond.
He began trudging forward when his foot suddenly kicked something that didn't feel like grass. Peter looked down to see blue polyester lying on the ground. Holy cow, it was his backpack!
He yanked the rucksack up from the grass and mud. It looks like whatever process sent him here tore off the straps and sent the bag flying during Peter's unconscious freefall. Probably for the best, otherwise all his stuff would've gotten wet. After trapping him in an alien world, the ol' Parker luck seemed to throw him a bone.
Peter unzipped his bag and rifled through it to make sure everything was there. An extra bottle of web fluid, his phone, a half-eaten sandwich from Delmar's, headphones, his civilian clothes, school supplies, his old costume (Why does he keep carrying that thing with him?). Oh shoot, he forgot to return his decathlon jacket after he quit. Well, it's extra clothes now, he guessed.
Everything seemed to be in place so Peter zipped the bag up. He webbed the straps back together. He'll have to sew them back on later. Right now, he had to find out where he is, find out where those girls are and find out a way to get them all back home.
On the plus side, Mr. Stark'll probably take him more seriously after this (if he even believes Peter).
Five hours… five hours he's been trekking these woods and he's seen no sign of life at all except for plants and insects the size of his head. Peter was really hoping that he wasn't the only sentient lifeform in this place. He'd settle for a village of giant mole men as long as they spoke English!
Peter supposed he shouldn't complain too much. He did suddenly just drop into the middle of an unknown world. It was to be expected that he wouldn't immediately come across an important settlement. In fact, if he was being honest, finding any of the girls of ANY form of sentient life might take days or even months-
SHRIEK
Okay, that was two conveniently timed screams in one day! Someone has got to be planning these! Oh shoot, he should probably follow where that scream came from.
He webbed the nearest tree and leaped into the air, swinging from tree to tree like Tarzan. He even thought of imitating the iconic battle cry of the jungle man but decided to hold off against it.
Speaking of screams, he should be nearing the origin of that shriek. He just needed to clear through some bushes. "Don't worry! I'm here- WHOA, pointy stick!"
Indeed, waiting for him from behind the bushes was a sharp wooden spear pointed right in between his eyes. And guess who was holding it?
"You!" the puffy-haired girl growled. She looked… messier. In the daylight, Peter could see her Thai descent more easily. Her puffy hair was now full of leaves, dirt, and was that a twig? Her Saint James uniform was disheveled and muddy. Add the small twinge of crazy in her eye and Peter was starting to feel like he'd be safer with the eel.
"Uh...Me," Peter gingerly moved the spear tip away from his face. "Good to see you again. You seem a tad… stressed."
"Me? Stressed?! HehhehehahahHAHAHA!" she cackled like a madwoman. "Why would I be stressed? I've only been stranded in another world with giant bugs and frog people for a whole week!"
"A week?" That didn't add up at all! "But I just got here a few hours ago! Maybe the box's teleportation has some kind of radius of timeframe- wait a minute, did you say 'frog people?'"
"Yeah," the girl seemed to redirect some of her anger away from him as she lowered her self-made spear. "I saw this big frog walking on two legs. He was dressed in clothes and everything."
Peter wasn't quite sure how to respond to that. "You mean it was anthropomorphic?"
"Anthro-wha?" the girl made a face at him like he was speaking an alien language.
"Anthropomorphic, it means- never mind," this was no time for a vocabulary lesson. "Look, did you talk to the frog guy? Maybe ask about this place?"
"I tried to," the girl got really annoyed at this question. "But the second he saw me, he screamed like a maniac and ran away."
"Huh," Peter scratched his masked chin. "I guess that makes sense."
"Excuse me?" the girl asked. Oh hey, the head buzzing was back!
"Uh- er, that is to say, from his perspective!" Peter desperately backpedaled. "I- I mean if you think about it, it'd kinda be like you seeing Bigfoot," he chuckled at the absurdity of it all before he realized his second mistake. "Not- Not that you like Bigfoot or any sort of… supernatural creature. Just- It's just from the viewpoint of a frogman you'd probably look relatively freaky. And you don't look freaky at all! A-and I mean that in the least creepy way possible since you're a teenager and I'm-" he cleared his throat and tried to make it as deep as possible. "I'm an adult."
The girl just looked at him like he was a gibberish-speaking hobo. Which was an appropriate reaction all things considered. Dang it, Peter! Next time your foot's in your mouth, just leave it there!
"Right…" the girl shot him with an awkward finger gun before turning around. "Well, see ya."
"Wait, wait, wait, hold on!" Peter called out to her, dropping his false deep voice. "We gotta stick together!" Come on, Pete, do something! What did Aunt May teach him about talking to girls his age? Oh, wait, nothing. Because girls don't talk to him. Quick, default to humor! "And I'm uh- really good at sticking." Dang it, Peter!
"Uh, yeah, no thanks," the girl shot him down. "I am not traveling all over 'Frog Land' with the guy who trapped me here!"
"Wha- hey, this isn't my fault!" Okay, maybe he did accidentally open the box but that was just circumstantial. "I'm not the one that stole the creepy cursed music box!"
"Yeah, well…" the girl stuttered. "You're the one who opened it while getting your gross goo all over me!"
"Please never say anything like that ever again," It took all of Peter's willpower not to cringe into a singularity. "And you guys were totally going to open up the music box yourselves before I showed up!"
"Well how do we know your weird spider… stuff didn't mess with it?" The girl pointed out. "This place is full of grody bugs. For all I know, this could be your homeworld!"
"First of all, Spiders aren't bugs," Peter just couldn't understand why that was so hard to understand. Nobody called scorpions bugs, why were spiders so hard? "Second of all- hey wait, where are you going?"
"Away from you," the girl marched in the opposite direction. "I'm finding my friends and then getting out of this crazy place."
"Wait, the other girls? Do you know where-" The ringing in Peter's head was coming back full force. Blaring as loud as it was when a razor eel was about to eat him. Instinctively, he thwipped his web and caught the back of the girl's shirt, and yanked her back.
"Ow!" The girl landed on her bum next to the Spider-clad hero. "Dude, what the heck-"
An explosion of leaves hailed from above as a crimson praying mantis the size of a house crashed to the ground! It hissed its mandibles at the small red and blue creature that denied it its kill.
"Whoah," the girl sat there numbly. Peter didn't know if she was shocked by the bug or her life was flashing before her eyes. "Uh… thanks,"
A bit early since this wasn't over yet. The mantis screeched as it charged toward them. "Run!" Peter yelled. The girl scrambled to her feet and ran away.
However, unlike how any sane person would, Spider-man ran toward the beast. The mantis slashed at him with scythe-like appendages but Spider-man jumped twenty feet into the air and flipped over the mantis' head! He stuck the landing perfectly on the mantis' back before whirling around and firing both web-shooters. The mantis screeched as webs latched onto its head. Spider-man yanked on the web lines, reigning back the mantis like one would a horse.
The mantis stumbled back swiping blindly trying to hit its unseen attacker.
Spidey thanked whatever mad scientist made that spider radioactive as the superhero's feet stuck firmly to the bugs back through the thrashing. Now to- what was Puffy Hair still doing here?!
"Get out of here!" Peter yelled as he tried to steer the bug away.
"I can't just leave you alone with that thing!" the girl yelled with concern that Peter was pretty surprised to hear considering everything.
"I can handle this!" Spider-man insisted. "I've got powers. You don't! Just go!"
With one last hesitant look, the girl bolted into the thick of the woods. There, now all Spidey had to do was… was…. What was his plan again?
The mantis finally abandoned its strategy of swiping wildly as it backpedaled and slammed its backside into a tree.
"Oof," Peter groaned and shook off the impact as the mantis moved forward. "It's gonna take more than that to-"
SLAM the mantis crashed Spidey into the tree again. Peter shook off his developing concussion. "More than THAT to-"
SLAM
"More than-"
SLAM
"-that-"
SLAM
"-to-"
SLAM
The tree, tired of its constant abuse, broke off a branch and hurled it at its attackers. The thick wood CONKED Spidey right on the head, as it turns out, that's what it took. For a split second, Peter's entire grip went lax and that was all the mantis needed to toss the hero off its back.
Peter flew through the air and crashed into the foliage.
Finally rid of the annoying pest, the mantis stalked off, looking for what it deemed the more easy prey.
"Ugh, anyone get the number on that Mantodea?" Peter mumbled as he stumbled up. Who was he even quipping to? Doesn't matter. He had to find that girl again, and maybe learn her name because it was getting really annoying to keep mentally referring to her as 'the girl'.
Anne was almost certain that she kicked a puppy in her past life because there was no way that stealing a music box equated to THIS much bad karma!
She had to hide, get back to her cave! That spider guy was probably gonna be alright. He was a superhero, wasn't he?
SNAP
Oh, crud! Had that thing found her already? Did it eat the spider guy? No, whatever was following her wasn't nearly as big as the mantis thing. She would have heard that thing tearing through the trees. But something was definitely following her. Think Anne, think! Hold on, that tree looked familiar…. Aha! This was where she put one of her traps!
She dove behind a few bushes and prayed for the trap to go off. Sure enough, the snapping sound of a classic snare trap going off signified that something had been caught. Annereadied her makeshift spear and prepared to confront her stalker.
"Caught ya!" she burst from the bushes to see another one of those anthro-whatsit frog people hanging from its leg. Hah, she knew watching all those survival shows would come in handy. "Thought you got the best of ol' Anne, eh? Well, ya DIDN'T!"
The pink-skinned amphibian gasped at the mere sight of Anne and screamed in a prepubescent voice. "Huge head!" Hey, her head is not that big! "Spindly limbs!" Okay, she may be not the shortest girl but she wouldn't call herself spindly. "Face bump!" Face bump? Did she have a pimple coming in?! Hold on, he was pointing at her nose. "THE BEAST!" he screamed.
Okay, someone really needed to teach this kid some manners. But not her since she was busy running for her life. "Stop following me," she settled for hissing at him.
"I've got bad news for you, beast!" the frog warned. Seriously, how young was this guy? "I taste TERRIBLE!" he sounded rather confident for someone who thought they were dinner.
Speaking of which. "Uh...Ew," Annegagged. "I am NOT gonna eat you," those French could keep their frog legs, the fancy-speaking weirdos.
"You tried to eat Wally!" the frog boy tried to accuse.
Who the heck was Wally? Was he that accordion playing weirdo from last night? "I tried asking 'Wally' for help," Anne explained. "He ran off screaming the second he saw me."
"...That does sound like Wally," frog boy admitted.
Whatever. Anne didn't have time for this. She had to get out of here before-
SCREECH
Uh-oh. Something was tearing through the trees and it sounded MUCH bigger than froggy junior. "It's coming back," Anne whispered in fear. She needed to run. She needed to run NOW.
"What's coming back?" the oblivious frog asked but Anne was already running away. She had to get out of here. If that thing took down the Human Spider, she didn't stand a chance. However, a voice seemed to be nagging her from the back of her head. Oddly enough, the voice sounded a lot like the little frog boy.
Froggy Jr. was currently pulling at the snare she caught him in. Ew, was he biting it? Did he have teeth? Not the time, because right now Anne had to make a choice. Either run and save herself or risk her life and save the frog. The voice was so high-pitched, it had to be a kid. But she was a kid, too! Then her mind drifted towards the high-pitched Spider-Man.
She already ran once, she couldn't run again. She darted back towards the snare and readied the sharp end of her stick. The vine she used snapped quite easily, dropping the frog kid to the ground. Annescooped him up and once again ran in the opposite direction.
Hide. Hide. Hide. Anne needed to HIDE. Hey, one of those hollow logs. Perfect! She dove inside the rotted wood, leaned against the interior as still as possible, and held her breath.
Anne could hear the legs of the giant mantis stomp across the mossy ground, its high pitch voice chittering all the way. Eventually, it stalked right over the log before continuing to crash its way into the woods, leaving them behind.
Anne finally let out her breath as the frog boy did the same. Seems like he had the same idea.
"You… saved me," the frog boy marveled as he stood up. "You're not a beast, you're a hero! An ugly, ugly, ugly, hero!"
That was… actually the best compliment Ann's heard in a while. "Call me ugly again and maybe I will eat ya," she teased.
"Ha, yeah right," the frog waved off. Great to know he could take a joke. "Ya got a name, stranger?"
For the first time in a while, Anne felt herself relax. It was… nice finally finding a friendly face in this messed up world. There was that Spider guy but that interaction was hardly calming. Aw jeez, did that mantis really eat him? No. He was a superhero. He probably just ran just like she did once she was out of danger.
"My name is Anne," she smiled at the frog, "Anne Boonchuy."
"I'm Sprig Plantar," the frog tipped his goggled cap as he held out his hand. "Put 'er there!"
Two beings of another world shook hands and found solidarity. It would've been a historical moment if not for the layer of slime that stuck to Anne's hand as she pulled away. "Ugh," she gagged. "I think your hand just barfed on my hand."
The girl from another world wiped the slime off on her skirt. It was dirtied beyond salvation anyway. Her train of thought was interrupted by the growlings of her stomach. Oh yeah, she has kinda been eating grass for the last week. "Alright, Sprig," she addressed the local. "Got anything to eat?"
"Sure do!" Sprig affirmed. He grabbed the rotting wood of the log they were hiding in, peeling it back to reveal dozens of creepy crawlies sitting about.
Aw, right. Anne remembered. Frog land. "Things that aren't bugs?"
"No bugs, huh?" Sprig scratched his… chin in thought as his slimy green tongue quickly sprayed out of his mouth and snatched a few insects to munch on. "We're gonna have to forage around." he hopped to his feet and ran out of the log. "C'mon, follow me!"
Anne cautiously stepped out of the log and narrowed her eyes in suspicion. "How do I know I can trust you?"
"Whaaaat?" Sprig turned around in mock surprise. "Does this look like a face that could deceive you?" He asked in an overly cutesy voice as he smushed his own cheeks together and did that thing where kids and other cute creatures could enlarge their pupils on command for maximum adorableness.
Anne snorted at the amphibious kid's over-the-top performance. "Yeah, I guess not," Of course there wasn't any devious plot going on. He was just a kid. "Lead the way, Sprig."
"Here we go," Sprig dumped the pile of mushrooms in front of the strange creature. Took a while to find so many that weren't poisonous.
The beast, now known as Anne, picked up a long piece of fungi and sniffed it, experimentally. She (at least Sprig thought it was a 'she', hard to tell with monsters) took a bite. Her face went from apprehension to delight as she marveled at the mushroom. "Hey, this is actually pretty good!" she began munching on the rest of the overgrown bacteria.
Sprig nodded. "Great, now that that's settled," Sprig took a deep breath. He didn't want to come off too invasive. "WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU AND WHERE DID YOU COME FROM?" Nailed it.
Anne looked at him, amused, before wiping mushroom crumbs from her face. "I'm a human being. And I come from.." she stood dramatically and waved her hand through the air. "... ANOTHER WORLD!" her announcement echoed through the woods, showing off the sheer epicness of her statement. "...either that or this is a dream."
"Wow…" Sprig marveled another. There was another world out there? And it was full of other creatures like Anne? Hooman beans… Sprig could feel the adventurer inside him vibrating in excitement. "Do you know how you got here?"
"Nope," Anne answered. Aww, that was disappointing. "One minute I was in my world, the next I'm in this crazy place." Actually, the forest was rather calm today but Anne probably didn't want to hear that.
"I have no idea how to get home," Anne sighed as she sat back down. "Or if I even CAN go home…" the tension in the air was awkwardly thick but Anne quickly corrected that by coughing. "Yup, that's my story. So what about you?" she changed the subject. "What were you doing all alone in the middle of the woods?"
"Proving that I'm responsible," Sprig replied, cheerfully. And he really needed to.
HopPop was quite direct about how little faith he had in his grandson. And sure, maybe he had a point with the time that Spirg accidentally turned lunch into a stew-based explosive. And the time he accidentally crashed a bull worm through the living room wall. And the time he accidentally attracted a swarm of fireflies the size of buildings to the house. Man, that was an eventful Tuesday.
But come one, leaving Polly in charge? She was still a tadpole for Frog's sake! Sprig needed to show HopPop how much the young Plantar could be relied on.
Anne raised an eyebrow at the frog's bold statement. "Oh, yeah? How?"
Sprig blinked as he finally realized his mistake. "Uh…" Saying that he came here to singlehandedly take down a monster might not go over well considering the monster was Anne. And now that he thinks about it, he probably should've warned her about the angry mob that was coming to hunt her down.
"There they are!" the distinct voice of One-eyed Wally cried out.
Dang it, Sprig! Curse you, inability to remember important details!
Half the entire town of Wartwood burst from the trees, baring torches and pitchforks galore. Even Mayor Toadstool seemed to be there, the fancy-dressed toad baring a torch of his own.
"What?!" Anne shot up as more angry frogs began to surround her. "Stay away from me-" Dozens of frogs dogpiled onto her, pulling out ropes, and began tying her up.
"No, wait! You've got it all wrong!" Sprig pleaded as he tried to pull the frogs off her. Anne didn't deserve this! She was a little freaky looking but she saved his life!
"We did it!" a frog cheered as the mob dissolved from its dogpile formation to reveal Anne on the ground, tied up to stakes in the ground (ala Gulliver's Travels).
"Well, I'll be, Spig!" Uh-oh. Sprig recognized that scratchy old voice. To say Hopadiah Plantar was an old frog was an understatement, but the orange-toned frog walked up looking absolutely giddy. "You caught the monster! I'm impressed."
"Yeah, I was pretty sure you were gonna die," Sprig's little sister, Polly commented from atop HopPop's head.
Wow, HopPop and Polly aren't often proud of Sprig, but Spirig remembers those moments feeling a lot better than this.
"Dude, what the heck!?" Anne freaked out from underneath her bindings. "You set me up? I thought we were connecting!"
"Nononono," Sprig desperately tried to defuse the situation. "This wasn't my plan!"
"Leave her alone!" a new voice called out from the woods.
All frogs turned to the woods as a figure crashed through the leaves, swinging from some type of vine. The figure soared through the air, backflipping on the way down, and landed in a crouching pose (if not for the situation, Sprig would've commented on how it did a perfect superhero landing). The figure rose up to reveal…
"Another Anne!" Sprig gasped. It had to be. No frog was that tall or had that many fingers! But this one was quite different than Anne. It wore a bizarre red and blue outfit, and its body proportions seemed significantly thicker. It also had these big white eyes, sticking out of its smaller red head, that seemed to glare at the other frogs.
"It's another beast!" Wally screamed.
"But slightly less freaky looking!" Mayor Toadstool pointed out.
"Oh, come on!" Anne complained, still tied to the ground.
"The name's Spider-Man, you Muppet rejects!" How in the world did that thing talk without a mouth? "Now let her go!" Oh no, Anne's friend must think they're trying to hurt her! Well, they were but Sprig didn't want that!
"SPIDER man?" Mayor Toadstool watched the newcomer with a suspicious eye. "Boy, there's not a spidery thing about you! Then again, you could spit venom. Everyone, Mantis Formation!"
At the Mayor's command, the frogs leaped into action. Quickly stacking on top of each other to form a giant pyramid. "Hi-yah!" The frog at the top struck a martial arts pose.
Sprig had seen the mantis formation before. He's seen all the frogs rehearsing over and over for this very moment. The basic idea was to make the frogs seem bigger and scare off potential predators. And somehow, it seemed to be working! Spider-man's insect-like eyes widened as he took a few steps back.
"It's working, boys," Toadstool cheered from the base of the pyramid. "We're scaring it off!"
"No, you're not," the new hooman protested.
"Yes, we are," Toadstool.
"No, you're not," Spider-man insisted, sounding quite sure of himself.
"Then why are you backing up?" Toadstool taunted.
Just as he said that. The giant crimson praying mantis, that Anne saved Sprig from earlier, crashed down right behind the frog pyramid, rising to its full height to look down at the froggy construction.
"...I think that's why," Polly pointed out from atop HopPop's head.
"Yeah, that makes much more sense," Hopadaiah nodded.
The mantis screeched as it swiped at the frog's mantis formation, knocking it down like a house of cards. The frogs crashed to the ground. Dazed and scrambling to get up, they were easy prey for the praying mantis, however, an unexpected savior came to their rescue.
Spider-man kicked the mantis right in the face after leaping through the air. "Get out of here, run!" he helped a few frogs to their feet before turning to the dazed mantis. "Hey, buddy, if you're gonna eat someone, eat me! I taste like chicken!" he made a weird gesture with his hands before they suddenly sprayed out little streams of web that splattered against the mantis' face. Huh, turns out he was part spider after all.
The mantis screeched in rage as it tore the webbing away. Its attention now firmly away from the frogs, it stalked after a new prey. Slashing its scythe arm at the Spider-man, who backflipped away.
Wow. Sprig almost couldn't believe it. This Spider-man thought that they had captured Anne, yet he was risking his life to save all of the frogs. Was every hooman bean intrinsically a hero? Wait, oh shoot. Anne!
Sprig snatched up a sharp-looking rock and ran towards the still struggling Anne.
"Wha?" Anne looked up in confusion as Sprig started cutting her bindings. "What's this, another trick?"
"You get out of here," Sprig cut enough bindings for her to escape. "I'll help your friend," he pulled out his trusty slingshot and ran towards the mantis.
"Leave him alone, you big bully!" Sprig took the sharp rock, pulled it back into the sling, and let it fly. The rock hit the mantis square in the back of the head. "Haha!" Sprig cheered. The mantis turned around, looking more angry than hurt. "Uh-oh." The huge insect raised its scythe and prepared to cut the little frog boy down. Sprig closed his eyes and braced for impact, but it never came. He cautiously peeked his eyes open.
"Hey, what's up, man?" Spider-man seemed to casually hold back the scythe arm as he looked down at the little frog.
"Whoa…" Sprig was awed at Spider-man's strength. The strike of a mantis could sometimes break rocks. "Uh… thanks."
"Don't mention it, it's kinda what I do," Spider-man shrugged. "Now, go before-" his insect eyes widened in alarm. Did he see something?
It was then that Sprig noticed that the mantis still had one more appendage that could slice through anything, and it was heading straight for Spider-man's side! "Look out!"
Anne, of all people, leaped to the rescue. She caught the arm, forcing it to a halt before its bladed tip could pierce Spider-man's torso.
"WHOA," it was Spider-man's turn to be amazed. "You're stronger than you look."
Anne grunted and shook underneath the pressure of the scythe arm. "Could one of you stop gawking and DO SOMETHING!?"
"Uh, right!" The gears in Sprig's head turned as he tried to come up with a plan. "I need rope!"
"Rope?" Spider-man's face scrunched up in confusion before realization dawned on him. "Dude, you're gonna pull an Empire Strikes Back? That's awesome!"
Pull a who with the what now? "What?"
"Oh, it's this awesome old movie-"
"JUST GIVE HIM THE WEBS!" Anne skidded back slightly as the mantis applied more pressure.
"Right!" Spider-man removed a hand from his mantis arm sprayed a thin silver rope from his wrist. Sprig caught the tip of it and got to work.
The rope kept spinning from Spider-man's wrist as Sprig darted between the creature's many legs, running back and forth, hopping over its back, and sliding under its belly, entangling the mantis more within the spider's web.
The mantis' eyestalks widened as it realized it was covered in a foreign substance. It gave up on overpowering the two humans and threw its arms back, wailing in displeasure.
Wasting no time, Anne grabbed hold of the tail end of Spider-man's web. The Spider quickly did the same and they both yanked as hard as they could on the web line. The makeshift rope went taut and the mantis' arms and legs were forced together, rendering it immobile in a cacoon of webs.
With a loss of balance, the mantis toppled over, crashing to the ground and shaking the forest as it did so. It then laid there, unconscious.
"WE DID IT!" Sprig hopped excitedly to his two new friends from another world. They took down a crimson mantis! The town would never believe this, except they had to since they did it right in front of them!
"Heck yeah, we did!" Anne cheered with Sprig as she held her hand up high. "Up top!" What was she- Oh! This must be some kind of hooman equivalent of a high tongue. Sprig lashed his tongue out and slapped Anne's hand.
"Oh, boy, that's gross," Anne cringed at her slime-covered hand.
"Yeah, I'm good with a thumbs up," Spider-man covered his bases. "But you were seriously awesome, little guy! You were hopping in jumping all over the place like a little ninja frog! And you," he pointed at Anne. "You had like… no fear when you caught that scythe thing. You were amazing!"
Anne rubbed the back of her neck in embarrassment. "Yeah, well, that was pretty hard. You held it back like it was nothing."
"Oh, yeah," Sprig cheered. "And when you kicked it in the face and were all like 'not today', you were like a real-life superhero!"
"Well, good, because…" Spider-man stuck his hand on his hips and stuck his chest out heroically. "I AM a superhero!"
Sprig's eyes grew to the size of saucers. "No…" Superheroes are real. Someone pinch him!
A boisterous voice coughed as the town frogs came out of hiding in the bushes and approached the new trio. "Well, now that that's settled," Mayor Toadstool came forward. "What the heck are we supposed to do with these things?" he gestured towards the otherworldly visitors.
What are they going to do with them? Help them of course. The answer was clear to Sprig, these guys saved half the town!"
"I say we run them out of town," Toadstool straightened his jacket. "Just to be safe,"
Wait, what?
"No!" Sprig leaped in between the hoomans and the reforming angry mob. "They're not monsters! They're just lost and need our help!" he turned back to the two. "...We should take care of them." Anne smiled. The girl looked touched by Sprig's friendship. Spider-man actually looked the same, kinda, it was hard to tell since he had no mouth to smile with.
"Are you crazy?" Toadstool looked at Sprig with an incredulous look.
"Yeah," One-eyed Wally chimed in. "What if they go nutty tomorrow and start eating people! The red one admitted to being part spider!"
"Not gonna happen, buddy," Anne gagged.
"Yeah, my doctor recommended me a no-frogs diet," Spider-man supplemented. That did very little to quell the town frogs' paranoia.
"Now, don't you worry yourselves silly," a familiar old voice sounded out. HopPop broke from the crowd and stood beside his grandson. "I'll keep an eye on them," he winked at Sprig. "ALL of them."
Toadstool grumbled as he threw his hands up in defeat. "Have it your way, Hopadiah, but I still don't like it," the mayor turned to the mob. "Alright, pack it in, boys!"
The frogs grumbled as they put away their torches and pitchforks. Some of them actually started dragging the unconscious mantis body away as the group made their way back to Waartwood.
"Uh… what are they going to do with that?" Spider-man asked as Sprig's little group stayed behind.
Sprig eyed the limp giant insect being carried off. "Well, they do taste great with butter," he shrugged.
"I'm immediately sorry that I asked," Spider-man shivered. Hey, it was the circle of life.
But right now, Sprig had something else to deal with. "So…" he guiltily rubbed his arm as he couldn't bring himself to look his grandfather in the eye. "Guess I'm back to causing trouble for the family again, huh?" He highly doubted that saving a couple monsters was what HopPop had in mind when he told Sprig to be more responsible.
"Trouble?" HopPop looked at his grandson in confusion. "Sprig, standing up to that angry mob to help a couple of creatures out was one of the bravest things I've ever seen. You took charge of the situation and stood your ground, that's pretty darn responsible in my book."
"Yeah, that was really cool, Sprig," Polly cheered from HopPop's head. "It was also really dumb."
"Yes. Really, really, dumb." HopPop nodded along.
Whoa. Sprig was not expecting that. "You really think I'm responsible?" his eyes shown at his grandfather.
HopPop did not seem to like the look in Sprig's eyes. "Well, maybe not THAT responsible-" Too late! He said it! No take-backs!
"Woo-hoo," Spig jumped for joy. "Big win!" HopPop was already shaking his head in exasperation. That boy never learns.
"Well, this has been fun," Anne piped up. "But I just need a map to find my way out of this kooky place."
"We also could use some rations and water," Spider-man pointed out.
"There is no 'we' but that would also be appreciated," Anne spoke up. Wait, were they not friends?
"Oh, I'm afraid that won't be enough," HopPop addressed the beasts. "This valley is surrounded by mountains that are impenetrable this time of year. Between the blizzards, glaciers, and avalanches," he listed off. "If you try to cross those mountains-"
"-You. Will. Die." Polly finished, bluntly.
"But, hey," Sprig tried to bring in a bit more optimism into the conversation. "It should clear up in a few months when spring comes."
"Are you saying, we're stuck in this crazy place for three months!" Anne cried, forgetting her 'there is no we' statement. "Where the heck are we supposed to stay?"
Was it too late for Peter to say this was not how he expected his day to go? Because it was. Granted, he wasn't expecting anything of importance to happen today, yet here he was. Moving into a frog family's basement.
"Here you go," the wrinkled old frog known as Hopadaiah Plantar-HopPop for short- flicked the lamp on as he addressed Peter and puffy hair. "The kitchen is upstairs. Breakfast is at noon, sharp," HopPop took a look at the singular mattress lying on the ground. "Sorry to say, but I only have the one spare mattress."
"It's okay," Peter waved off. "I can make a little web hammock." On some slow afternoons, he'd make a little hammock between water towers for naps. All things considered, he's glad he got the experience.
"Hmm...Alright," the old frog glared at them with suspicious eyes. Peter could tell, despite HopPop's defense of them against the mob, the elder amphibian wasn't quite comfortable around the two humans. Which is fair, all things considered. "Good night, you two," HopPop waved them off as he climbed the ladder, upstairs.
"Good night,"/ "Thanks, dude," Peter and Puffy Hair responded, respectively.
The two humans inspected their new living space. As far as basements go, this wasn't that bad. Well, not bad for a basement underneath a house made out of a giant swamp tree at least.
The air between them was very awkward and Peter wasn't really sure how to clear it up. "Um… so… heck of a day, huh?"
"Yeah…" Anne responded. Well, she wasn't giving him the silent treatment or anything. That was good right?
"Look, neither of us wanted this to happen," Peter reasoned. What if Mr. Stark needed him? What if people figure out who he is because both Peter Parker and Spider-man disappeared at around the same time. And Aunt May was definitely freaking out right now- and whoa slow down, Parker. At this rate, he'll freak out.
"But it did happen, and it looks like we're stuck together. So let's just start over," he held out his hand for a shake. "I'm Spider-man. But you can call me Spidey, or webs, or web-head, just don't call me late for dinner!" He snapped a finger gun. "Eyy." Okay, maybe the finger gun was too far.
Thankfully, puffy hair didn't seem to mind as she lightly chuckled. Score one for dad jokes!
"I'm Anne," she actually shook his hand. "JUST Anne, though."
"Too late, I've already been mentally referring to you as Puffy Hair for a while, so that's your new nickname," Peter joked.
Anne groaned before the sound of the basement door opening caught her attention.
"Hey, guys," Sprig hopped down to greet the two new basement dwellers, carrying a bunch of stuffed animals in his arms. "Thought you two might be lonely so I brought some of my toys to bring you company, I'm too old for these anyway," he cheerily laid out his plushes before himself until one caught his attention. "Oh, except for this one. And this one too. Oops, this one is his friend so I can't exactly separate them-"
Peter lightly chuckled as the frog kid began picking all of his toys back up, one by one. This kid was oddly endearing.
"Hey," the frog kid smiled at the two humans. "I'm glad you monsters are living with us."
"Glad to, you weird little frog boy," Anne teased.
"Whelp, good night," Sprig climbed back up the steps. "Don't let the bedbugs bite. Seriously, they can drain a body in seconds."
Anne let out a deep sigh as she flopped down onto the mattress.
Peter figured he should get started on the web hammock as he crawled up the wall. He could hear Anne whisper "..so creepy…" as he made it to the corner.
"Hey…" Anne spoke up as Peter attached a web line to a wall. "Can you… try something for me?"
"Sure, what?" Peter looked down, curiously. Only for his eyes to widen to the size of dinner plates as he saw what Anne pulled out of her backpack.
"You still have the music box?" he flipped onto the ground. The music box was as golden as ever, and in the light of the bioluminescent mushrooms growing from the wall, he could see the frogs and swampy design engraved into the gold. Yup, this is definitely the thing that sent them here. The jewels embedded in the top seemed oddly dull though. Actually, that was an understatement. They straight-up looked like all the color was sucked out of them.
"Yeah," Anne nodded. "I tried opening it when I first got here but nothing happened. I want to see if your… spideryness does anything different."
"I really don't think that's how it works," Peter insisted.
"Yeah, maybe, but…" Anne groaned in frustration. She looked at Peter with pleading eyes. "Could you just try?"
Peter cautiously eyed the strange device. He was technically the one to open it. Maybe opening it again would send them back? Or maybe it would send them somewhere else entirely. Well… they'd never find out by just looking at it.
Peter took hold of the box and shakily held it in front of him. Calm down, nerves, not now! He firmly grasped the lid… and flipped it open lightning fast as both he and Anne looked away, waiting for the explosive light show.
But it never came. There was nothing inside the box. It was just… empty. Peter sighed as he handed it back. "Sorry."
"It's okay," it was hard not to hear the disappointment in Anne's voice. "Looks like we're gonna be here for a while."
The silence was interrupted by the growling of a stomach. Peter looked at Anne, incredulously. "Was that you?"
"Ugh," Anne threw her head back in despair. "I could only get a few mushrooms before that stupid mob showed up. What I would give for some real food right now."
Real food… Peter had real food! He slung his backpack off and started rummaging around. Just as his fingers brushed against the rest of his sandwich, he felt his own stomach rumble in retaliation. Oh yeah, he hasn't really eaten anything in a while either has he? And if that buttered mantis comment was anything to go by, this half sandwich was the last piece of human food they'll have for a while.
Peter sighed as he handed her the sandwich. "Here. It's only half but sandwiches these days are huge."
Anne's eyes lit up as she took the half meal. She looked like she'd just seen a dead loved one come back to life. She blinked in realization before looking to Peter in concern. "What about you?"
"Eh, Spiders were born to eat bugs," Peter shrugged. "I'll be alright."
Anne still seemed unsure but her hunger overpowered her. She tentatively took a bite before her eyes sparked with recognition. "Is this Delmar's?"
Ah, a girl of culture, Peter sees. "Best sandwiches in Queens," he nodded.
Anne shrugged. "Sub Haven's pretty good."
Okay, maybe not that cultured. "Eh, they use too much bread," Peter shook his head in disgust.
"I like bread," Anne countered.
"Look if you don't want it, I'll just take it back-"
"NO," Anne clutched the sandwich to her like it was her own child before she took another bite.
Peter chuckled. Yup, he still got it. "Night, Anne," he saluted before crawling back to his web hammock.
Anne took another bite, as she contemplatively watched the superhero make his way up the wall. "...Night, Spider-man."
Oh my god! I don't think I've written any other chapter that was as long as this one! I considered splitting it up at one point but by then I was already so close to the end.
I hope that this picks up speed and popularity. Inspire others to give Amphibia a little more hype in the crossover section. So for the love of god, review. Even if it's something little.