Fun fact, this is the first chapter I wrote for this whole story. I know, my brain works backwards.
Also fun fact, someone guessed exactly what's revealed on this chapter. Almost makes me wonder if my docs are leaked somewhere? o.O
All mistakes are still mine.
Chapter 13.
Don't drop your girl.
Don't drop your girl.
Don't drop your girl.
My one and only job and I failed.
My head wasn't in it. I was tired. I was worried about Bella's ankle. Worried about where we stand after everything. I couldn't focus.
"You okay?" Her voice comes from the door and I look up, startled. I hid long enough in the locker rooms for everyone to leave after trials. So I wouldn't have to do this. So I wouldn't have to see her. So I wouldn't have to talk to anyone.
"I'm fine." I stare back down at my feet as a drop of sweat trickles from my hair onto the floor.
I hear her coming closer until her feet appear in my field of vision, in front of the bench I am sitting on. How small her shoes look next to mine is almost funny. Almost.
The sight of her shoes brings other images to my head. How they both tucked together and fit in my hand. How her calves tightened as she balanced on my palm with her bandaged ankle. How she held her form while my arm was shaking under her. How she stumbled down as my shoulder gave in.
"I'm so sorry," I say through my teeth, running the hem of my shirt over my forehead to wipe some of the sweat from trickling into my eyes. It's pointless though; my shirt is soaked.
"Hey, don't beat yourself up over it."
"I fucking dropped you on your head." I huff, clasping my hands together. "Yeah, I'm going to beat myself up over it."
"My head didn't even hit the floor." She giggles. She fucking giggles. "Just Jake's knee."
"Please, don't remind me." I couldn't grab her fast enough, only managed to reach for her legs, which made her fall worse.
"That was not your fault. That was all Jake. He should have gotten to me quicker." When her fingers hover over my shoulders, I freeze. "It would have been worse if you hadn't caught me."
"I made it worse trying to catch you." I scoff and sit up straight, away from her fingers, and stare at the lockers behind her. Maybe Jake shares responsibility. Both of us had to do push-ups. But still, it shouldn't have come down to Jake. I should have caught her. I shouldn't have dropped her at all.
"You can look at me, you know?" Her hand reaches for my face, her fingers almost grazing my chin before I pull back.
I can't. I don't trust myself right now.
"I don't want to get distracted," I tell her honestly. It's usually the only way I can do what I do.
"We're not stunting right now."
"I know." I let out a long exhale, rest my head back onto the lockers behind me, closing my eyes.
"I'm sorry about earlier," she starts, and I finally peek at her. Her eyes are on me, sweet and understanding. If she was pissed about Jessica before, she seems to have gotten over it. "I overreacted. Obviously you can stunt with anyone you want. That's okay. It's not even that you were stunting with Jessica. I just…I got upset because…because…" She groans a little, looking down.
"Because I said I was too tired to practice with you but then I went to the gym and stunted with her."
She smiles sweetly at me, her face showing relief. "Yeah, that was kind of shitty."
"I'm sorry. I was tired. And I was planning to stay in. I should have stayed in my room and gotten some rest for today like Coach suggested. But then I saw you with Tyler and…" I let the thought die there, wanting to kick myself for bringing it up. "I couldn't sleep all night thinking about you two together."
"You're an idiot," she says, and when I look up at her, she's still smiling. "Didn't you say it was okay for me to date Tyler?"
"I did say that." Still, I can fucking hate it.
"And you don't want to date me, right?"
"Swan—"
"You told Tyler we were just friends," she says, like it's funny.
"Of course he told you." I scrub my hands over my face, wanting this day over.
I hear her sigh, and then her fingers are peeling my hand from my face.
"I didn't go out with Tyler," she says, my eyes fly to hers in surprise. "I was in the process of politely declining when you saw us. Then, I went after you. I figured you hadn't gone to the lake, so I checked the gym first. And there you were, at the gym, stunting, with Jessica Freaking Stanley."
"You didn't go out with Tyler?" I am an idiot.
"Nope," she says through a chuckle.
"Where were you all night?" I can't fucking believe it.
"I stayed at the gym! Out of view and on the ellipticals on the second level, watching you guys stunt until I couldn't feel my legs. Until you guys left." She sits next to me on the bench while I drop my head on my hands, elbows on knees. She was there all along. She was the one who saw us.
"So, we're both idiots," she muses. "And because of it, we were tired and upset today. We let that affect our game. And I got hurt. Twice. I shouldn't have let it get to me. Not while we stunt. But I was distracted…and unfocused. I hate that it affected your chances at trials too. But, me falling was also partly my fault, so don't worry about it, please."
I'm stunned into silence. This fine line we're walking, between friends and more, gets thinner by the second. Trying to be professional while burying everything inside. Being paired with her is both a blessing and a curse. And what happened at trials was just a glimpse. It could have been so much worse.
"Promise me something," she says in a whisper. I turn to her, head still held up in my hand. "I'll promise it right back to you in return," she offers with a smile.
My eyes train on hers, expectantly, whatever she wants me to promise her, I probably will.
"Promise me that, no matter what happens between us, we won't let it affect our stunting. That stuff stays off the mat. When we're stunting, we're teammates. We're professional. And no one gets hurt."
"Okay," I say quickly, and she half-smiles, arching an eyebrow as she stretches a hand to me. "I promise."
She links her pinky finger with mine as her lips stretch wider. "Pinky promise?"
"Pinky promise." I chuckle because I am helpless when it comes to her. The fact that she didn't go out with Tyler might be helping too. At least my chest feels a little lighter.
"Okay, so…" She lets go of my hand and clasps both of hers on her thighs. "Now that the air is clear and we can think straight, want to try again?"
"Try what again?"
"Uh, the stunts? For do-over trials tomorrow?"
"You're crazy." My voice comes out through a half-choked chuckle.
"We were so close to hitting that double up. We just need to work on our timing."
"I don't want you to fall again."
"I won't. Don't get in your head, Cullen." She gets up and stands in front of me, clasping her hands on her hips. She is still wearing the little shorts and sport bra from trials. "We can do it. I know we can. We won't leave until we get it."
She wants to kill me. I don't think I can even lift my arm.
"Are you hurt?" She sees through me like she always fucking does.
"I'm fine. I'm just beat." I'm pretty sure I pulled my lat while trying to catch her. My shoulder and neck are messed up too. Everything on my right side is tense and cramped up.
"Lift up your arm," she orders. Not a trace of humor in her tone.
I hold her gaze and lift up my left arm over my head without as much as a flinch.
She rolls her eyes. I'm fucking busted.
"Your right arm."
Fuck.
I don't even try.
"I can't, Swan," I admit through my teeth, breathing out harshly.
"Did you stretch it?"
I drop my head back onto the lockers, shaking it slightly in response to her question.
"Okay, you have to drop this feeling-sorry-for-yourself attitude. It's not going to help your chances of making mat."
"We both know I'm not going to make the cut." My eyes find hers and the fire in them burns me.
"No. We do not know that." Her abs tighten around her belly button as she speaks. She's so fucking distracting. "Plus, you'll get another chance tomorrow."
"I can't move my arm." I wrap my hand over my right shoulder in emphasis.
"It might just be tense….knotted. A massage could help. C'mon."
I sigh with the realization that she's not going to let it go.
"I'm going to touch you, okay? Don't freak out." She moves between my legs and her lips stretch into that beautiful smile of hers. I look away, taking a deep breath, hoping her touch doesn't go straight to my dick.
With my eyes focused on the lockers behind her, I feel her fingers on my shoulder while her other hand clasps under my elbow. She brings my bent arm up over my head while I try to keep my wincing to a minimum.
"Breathe," she says, as if it was that easy. "Can you hold it there?"
I replace her hand with my own and hold my elbow above my head, stretching my back, reaching with my fingers between my shoulder blades.
When she presses her fingers under my shoulder, I whimper. Out loud.
"You're all knotted." I feel her breath on my skin as she moves closer.
"No shit," I grit out.
She painfully rubs her fingers over my muscles, melting the knots until the tension subsides. I am able to lift my elbow and stretch even deeper into my back. The relief is immediate. I might not have pulled my lat after all.
It was just very, very tense.
Like me.
I take deep breaths and hold in place, feeling my muscles relax while ignoring the smell of her hair. Of her skin. Of that shea butter lotion she uses that I hate. Not because of what it smells like. No. It smells so fucking good. But because of what it does to me, what it makes me want to do to her.
"Does it help?" She pauses and lifts her face to look at me.
"Please, don't stop," I beg in a whisper, closing my eyes.
She chuckles softly, letting out a little breath, and steps behind the bench, then she continues to massage my right side, now using both hands.
"Fuck, that feels good," I say through my teeth, moaning out loud as she disarms me completely. She tirelessly diffuses the tension from my back, from my side, from my shoulder and my neck, leaving me soft all over.
"Better?" she asks, taking her hands off of me.
When I open my eyes, I feel like someone new. She has taken the spot next to me on the bench, one leg on each side, facing me.
"Yeah, actually...Thank you." I lean away from her a bit and she sighs, looking down. I'm glad that she does because, really, all I want to do is kiss her.
I roll my shoulder a few times, with my hand clasped on it. It's still a little achy, but nothing like before. I get up from the bench, pretending to grab my things just to give my hands something to do.
"So...do you have a few more throws in you?" She gets up after me.
I turn to her in disbelief, stopping in front of her, towering over her. "Are you actually trying to kill me?"
"I'd prefer it if you survive…" She shrugs with half a smile, looking up at me. "But you won't make mat if we don't land those double ups tomorrow."
I eye the doors that lead to the gym, considering it. I'm beat and sore, but my shoulder feels much better. And what I am most of all is frustrated. I want...redemption? I know I can hit the stunts if I just manage to...focus.
The truth is, the pain I feel right now is temporary. Easily forgotten. But the pain of failure. Of disappointment. Of not making the team. That one will haunt me for a long time.
If one more rep is all it takes to get our timing back. To push our feelings out of the equation. To focus on the stunts and the stunts only.
I am ready. I am focused. I am determined to make mat tomorrow.
"We don't have a spotter," I say and she smiles, knowing she's succeeded. "Is your ankle okay?"
"My ankle is fine," she says confidently as she turns away and walks back into the gym. "Plus, you won't let me fall."
I follow faithfully behind her, knowing she's right.
*peeks from behind laptop* I knoooow...another cliffie. Please, don't hate me. The next bit is over 3K words. See you Thursday?