LMAO did you guys really think I'd have them fall off a cliff? I'm not that mean, am I? lolol
So, a quick clarification because I can't English and I think I might have confused some of you (i should learn and never make changes after Mel betas, but alas...). When Bella said "My dad, Phil, and my mom" she meant (or I meant): "My dad, whose name is Phil, and my mom..." I took the comma out, so maybe that helps? But in any case I wanted to clarify that Charlie is in no way shape or form involved in Bella's "brand" or business. That is all Phil and Renee. (We will see and learn more of Charlie later on)
Now that that is all cleared up...Quick three week-ish jump here. Thanks for reading!
Chapter 18.
"What's your favorite bird?" Bella is doodling in her notebook, sitting against the wall, while I stare at the ceiling of her room, trying not to doze off. We're on her bed, where we've been for the past half hour or so, waiting out the rain before we head to practice.
It's mostly what we do, trying to stay under everyone's radar. We go to class. We train. We keep things professional. Then, we hide in her room or mine.
"I don't know, an ostrich?" My words make her laugh while my fingers softly graze over her bare legs.
"Who says that?" She chuckles, putting her notebook down and scowling at me.
"I guess I don't have a favorite bird." I shrug at her. I was going to say a swan, but thought it'd be a bit cheesy. I look at the different watercolor paintings of birds on her wall, shaking my head.
"Birds can be pretty vicious," I say, mostly joking, and she smacks me on my arm with her notebook. "You've clearly never encountered a Canadian goose on a sidewalk. That's a mean motherfucker right there."
She drops on her back next to me with a giggle. "C'mon, you have to admit, birds are pretty cool. They fly."
"They regurgitate into their kids' mouths." I turn to look at her, and she's full-on laughing now.
"They mate for life," she says after calming down, propping her head up and looking at me, her elbow digging into her comforter.
I stare into her eyes for a beat too long. Some of her hair has come out of her ponytail, and I tuck the strands behind her ear, running my thumb on her cheek. "So…monogamy? That's what you like about birds?" My lips stretch into a smile as I pull her face to mine.
"It's not that…" She pushes me away with a chuckle. "They're just so…free." She drops her head back on the mattress with a sigh and stares at the ceiling while I look at her.
The more I get to know Bella, the more I notice this yearning for freedom. Freedom from responsibilities, I guess; from pressure; from expectations. The start of the semester has been rough on both of us, with so much more going on than our athletic commitments. I think it's been especially hard for Bella to adapt to student life while juggling so many other things.
Last Tuesday, she had a film crew waiting for her to record a commercial for their clothing line. She only had time after practice, so they were shooting until almost two in the morning. I stayed with her for support, but I passed out on her bed as she crammed for a quiz she had the next morning.
She does it all gracefully though, and while she never complains, I do worry. I worry so much.
"Do you have a session with Sammy after practice?" Bella asks, switching topics and turning to me.
"Yeah, I think so." Coach Hale's niece—Sammy, short for Samantha—has been getting private sessions with me three times a week. She's amazing, so skilled and determined for a six-year-old.
Actually, my private lessons with her have been a breath of fresh air, and I leave every class with a smile on my face. Definitely a lot more fun than my job at Subway. Pays better too, so I have now dropped most of my hours and only work on the weekends, which helps me keep up with my schoolwork.
"Okay, cool. I can stay too." She sits up on the bed and reaches for her camera. "I figured out the new slo-mo setting. I think it'd look amazing. I can take some videos today and edit them during the week, so you'll have a few to post."
"You don't have to do that, Swan; it's okay."
"I want to." She smiles sweetly at me before returning her attention to the camera. "Your last reel is close to getting a million views, so you need to keep the momentum going."
"You know I don't really care about that stuff…" My Instagram following has been growing steadily since Bella tagged me on the video of us at the trail overlook from our first date a few weeks ago. It was a simple stunt sequence, but the backdrop looked amazing. It had a million views in a couple days.
Then she recorded Sammy and me on our first and second stunt sessions and edited the video showing Sammy's progress. I didn't think it would get that much attention, but I posted it on my account anyway. Bella shared it on her page and it blew up overnight. Since then, I've been posting footage of my sessions with Sammy, as well as with Bella, and people seem to like them. I now have a little over five thousand followers, and it keeps growing every day.
Admittedly, it scares me a bit to have footage of Bella and I together out there. I wonder if her parents—or Coach and Jasper—will start asking questions, but Bella says it's okay. She edits out any touchy-feely celebration that comes after the stunts. People still comment on our chemistry and the way I look at her, but for the most part, I don't think anyone really suspects or cares.
"But you should care." Bella looks up at me. "It could lead to more private lessons."
Bella and I have gone over this a few times. She thinks I could make money off social media, but I always tell her that's her thing, not mine. Apparently, once you pass a certain threshold of followers and views on Instagram, you can start getting paid for your reels. It just sounds like a lot of work and time I don't have.
But coaching, mentoring, that is something I definitely want to do more of.
After starting to work with Sammy, it really feels like I've found my calling—my why. My priority right now is, and will continue to be competing, but I know I will only be able to do that for a few more years as a college student, and only for as long as my body allows it, which I know won't be long...not at this level. I've never been as fit as I am right now, and I'm still sore and tired all the time.
Coaching on the other hand—I could coach for a long time. Training kids, seeing them hit new skills with my help. I love it. For now, I want to expand to more kids besides Sammy, and then maybe one day have my own gym.
Bella has a point though—social media would help get my name out there. I've had a few moms asking for information on private lessons and other stuff. My DMs have become a scary place I don't delve into often.
"Plus, I love watching you train with her." Bella tilts the screen my way and zooms in on Sammy's toothless grin—all four front baby teeth, top and bottom, gone. "She's a hoot."
Sammy is amazing. She's funny and smart and sassy, but focused when she needs to be. And she has more drive than most people much older than her. She comes from a messed-up background, too—Coach Hale hasn't shared all the details, but it's clear Sammy escaped a pretty crappy situation with her parents—so we bonded instantly over absentee fathers.
"I can set the camera and get some footage." My eyes turn over to Bella as she looks at the screen. "Didn't you say you have a test on Monday?"
"I do…" She stretches out the word with a sigh, reaching over me to set her camera on her night table. "It's okay though."
"Swan…" I reach for her arm and close my fingers around it.
"Cullen…" She mimics my tone, mockingly, moving to straddle me. "You're cute when you worry." She lies over my chest, her chin resting on her clasped hands.
I exhale a little shakily, knowing she can feel me under her, between her legs. My body reacts to hers immediately, as it always embarrassingly does, and she presses herself on me before pushing up to kiss me.
Our kiss starts slow, until it turns desperate. My hands roam over her body, anywhere I have allowed myself to touch her, anywhere she'd let me, before she stops.
"I know what I want for my birthday," she says in a gasp, lifting her head to look at me.
"Swan…" I groan, gripping her hips and lifting her off me a bit.
We haven't yet moved on from the heavy petting and dry humping stages. I don't think that she's ready, and to be fair, neither am I. I keep getting in my head: about her age, about the right place, the right time. About it being perfect.
We just haven't yet. It's only been three weeks.
"Not that." She laughs, sitting up on my thighs.
"Okay…" I breathe out in relief, closing my eyes and clasping my hands behind my neck as I lean back on the bed. I take a few breaths and try to calm down, but when I open my eyes, Bella's gaze is not-so-subtly roaming over my arms, a furious blush spreading on her cheeks, before she looks down.
"So what do you want for your birthday?" I ask casually, trying to distract us both.
Her birthday is coming up on Monday, and then Friday will be a month since we kissed, a month since our first date. I want to make the week special. I've got her a gift. I've worked extra hours so I can afford to take her wherever she wants to go.
"I want to get a tattoo," she says softly, looking up at me shyly.
"Oh…"
"Something small. Here." She brings her arm forward, pointing just below the inside of her elbow. "Anywhere else I fear would hurt and interfere too much with stunting. Maybe if we go Friday, it will heal quickly and I won't have to miss practice?"
"You could also miss practice."
"When have you missed practice?"
"Well, I need it. You on the other hand…"
She waves me off, shaking her head. "What I really want to get is those birds." She gestures to her wall and her watercolor paintings on it. "Right here." She lifts the left side of her T-shirt, exposing her sports bra and pointing to the area above her rib cage on the side of her breast. "But I think that would hurt too much coming down from stunts, and it would keep me out of practice for a bit."
I swallow hard, my eyes trained on her untouched, fair skin. That would look so fucking good.
"So you agree?" she asks, lowering her shirt with a quick laugh as I realize I was still staring at the side of her breast.
"It's your body, Bella." I let out a breath, distracting myself with the cracks between the tiles of her room's ceiling. I'm pretty sure the one in the corner isn't aligned properly.
"But do you think it would look cool?" She jabs her knee on my thigh and smiles when I look at her again.
"It would look sick."
"So, you'll come with me Friday?"
"Of course."
"Okay." She seems satisfied with my answer and moves over to the spot beside me on the bed. I loop my arm around her, bringing her closer. "When did you get your sleeve?"
"Summer after high school."
"Did it hurt?" She traces her fingers over the lines on my skin.
"A little bit." A whole lot.
"Do you think you'll get more?"
"Probably." When I can afford them. "This one is one of my mom's designs." I point to the mountains that stretch on my bicep. "There's another of hers I want to do on my chest, or on my right shoulder, maybe."
"Oh, is your mom an artist?" Bella smiles, looking at me. I guess I hadn't shared that yet about my mom.
"She paints and draws for fun, I guess…as a hobby. She's a waitress."
"Oh, cool," Bella says, while I watch for her reaction. I'm not ashamed of my upbringing—it is what it is—and I'm fucking proud of my mom, but I know we're probably not the kind of people Bella or her parents are used to. Bella seems unfazed, her fingers continue their tracing on my forearm. "What does your dad do?"
I realize then we've never had this talk. I've never told her about my father, or lack thereof.
"I don't know," I answer quietly, and she smiles, looking up at me, probably thinking I'm joking, but when her eyes meet mine, she sobers up, realizing I'm serious. "He's not in the picture." I don't elaborate, don't really want to bring us down with the details.
"I'm sorry." She frowns, her eyes turning sad.
"It's okay…" I link my fingers with hers, bringing our hands to my chest. "My mom was a better dad than he could have ever been."
"So, it's just you and your mom?"
"Pretty much…" I don't tell her about my uncle either as he's a very inconsistent part of my life.
"Your mom sounds like an amazing woman," Bella says, resting her face on my chest.
"She is," I say before my lips touch her forehead. "She really is."
My mom has had her ups and downs, as anyone in her situation would, I guess, but she's sacrificed everything for me. She's always been there for me. She'd take the clothes off her back for me. She's really the only family I have.
I close my eyes and let myself wonder about the future, our future, mine and Bella's. Even though we're young and only starting our time together, she already feels like such a big part of my life. I have never felt this way before. I have never wanted to bring a girl to meet my mom. I've never wanted to open up about my dad. I hope that in time I'll be ready for that. For Bella to meet my mom and my past. For her to know all about me as I want to know all about her.