Warm, calloused fingers wandered the length of her spine over and over, inspiring gooseflesh in their wake across Padme's cooling skin. Languishing in the wonderous sliver between sleep and wakefulness in the safety of Anakin's arms, she was tempted to stay this way for the rest of their lives. No rebels, no worries, or careers, only this bed, their bodies and hearts for a quiet eternity.
How wonderfully beautiful…
Unfortunately, she did not possess such mastery over the universe.
"What are you planning to do?" Anakin fractured the calm silence which had fallen over them since she had rolled into his arms after yet another round of urgent, needful lovemaking. "I want to know every little detail."
Lifting her head from the soothing rise and fall of his broad chest, Padme leaned upwards on her forearm to meet her beloved's turbulent eyes. Her hair tumbled downward around her, concealing their faces behind a winding curtain. "Every detail of what, Ani?" Her heart whispered the answer though she wished it wasn't true. The last thing he should be worrying about was her days tucked away safely here on Coruscant while he was out there risking his life!
"You know what," his fingers traced the line of her jaw. "I want to picture it while I'm there. I want to know what you're doing every moment that I'm gone."
"I want you to picture coming home." She shook her head, "Think of me waiting for you in the hangar bay! Of spending the rest of our lives together raising our child in peace." Her impassioned words did not change his face. She sighed again as her eyes grew heavy from a new sort of tiredness. "I have filled three days with constant meetings with the King, Senators Organa and Mothma and three datapads worth of bill rewrites which will keep my mind thoroughly distracted until you return to me."
Anakin smiled, tucking her hair behind her ear softly, his storming blue eyes watching the movement closely before lifting to her waiting gaze. He still made her heart leap and stomach tighten with merely a glance after this long. How could she ever live without him? Padme forced herself to smile for his sake, trying not to grimace at the bitterness of the lie coating her tongue. In truth, her schedule had been wiped in its entirety and she would not take meetings until he was home safely and in her arms once more, but he didn't need to know about that. If her lie painted an image to comfort him going into battle, then she had no regrets.
They spoke more quiet words to one another, settling things they shouldn't have to dwell on so soon in case… well, in case there was not an opportunity once he departed. "Listen," he said at last, "I've been thinking… about – about the baby." Padme's heart stilled as his throat tightened and his eyes grew distant. Despite his growing efforts to hide it from her, she knew he still hadn't warmed to the child she carried. Perhaps he wouldn't until the little one arrived and his heart finally found that it had room for the child within it.
"What about him?"
A small smile stretched over Anakin's lips as he shook his head, "him…" he rolled his eyes, "Well, if you're wrong and it's a girl, I… I want to name her Leia. It was my mother's middle name, so I thought that it was a way to honour her without forcing her memory on the child. It's, uh, I mean if you don't like it, we can always name her something else or – "
Kissing away his words to silence any further stuttering, Padme felt tears gleam in her eyes. Leia… Little Leia Skywalker. It was beautiful. It was a name from her father. A gift! "I love it, Ani," pressing her forehead to his, a small pang of melancholy tugged at her heart. Every instinct she had, every part of her sensed that the baby was a boy. It was unexplainable... Padme just felt it. Knew it. And she also knew this would be the only child they ever had. She would never have a daughter named Leia and despite the joy her little boy would undoubtedly bring into her life, she mourned for the girl they would never have.
"What about Luis for a boy?" She pulled back from him. "If we're not naming him for either of our fathers, I think Luis is a lovely name for him." Though not nearly as sentimental as the suggestion Anakin offered, Padme's heart warmed to imagine a small, blonde-haired boy in her arms. A little rambunctious, playful child, the living image of his father.
"Luis," Anakin tasted the name on his tongue, "I like it," he smiled softly, "So Leia if she's a girl, Luis if he's a boy."
Eventually, with little other choice, they were torn from their embrace and bedsheet paradise to truly begin their separate days. With only three days before the departure there was an unfortunately long list Anakin had to see to whilst Padme had her own meetings to attend along with a session within the Senate.
Her daily schedule lay in the hands of her chief handmaidens so the Padme did not realise Prince Vader had requested a meeting with her until a mere sixty minutes beforehand. Since Anakin had become too busy with preparations for Crait to attend the Senate as often as he usually did, the future Emperor wished for an in-depth explanation of the discussions the rotunda hosted.
The dark-haired twin smiled brightly as he shut off the datapad in his hands. "Padme, welcome! How is the wedding planning coming along?"
Oh, yes, the wedding.
Truthfully, it hadn't taken up very much of her thoughts lately. The wedding she and Anakin had agreed to was rather business-like and drab. He wanted to see to it that should anything happen on Crait, the child would receive a proper inheritance and they both wanted to be married before he left which meant there was simply no time for the wedding she always wanted.
Growing up, Padme had dreamed of a gown of lace and pearls, of sunset and Nubian blossoms and all of her most beloved people in attendance to celebrate her and her love. Sola's wedding had been a beautiful, elaborate affair with so much dancing, she hadn't felt her feet for days afterwards! Her sister and Darred looked so happy to be together that day, so full of love and excitement for their future.
And though she ached for all of that, Padme didn't need really it. She had Anakin, that was all that mattered at the very heart of it. Even if his proposal and their wedding lacked the romance she had always desired, they loved each other and nothing else mattered.
"We're just having a holy man come to my apartment for the blessing," a faint blush painted the Senator's cheeks at the lack of grandeur. She had been avoiding her mother's questions on the subject because Jobal would never understand their reasoning. She would ask questions Padme couldn't face right now. "He's coming the day after tomorrow." Vader's eyebrows lifted in slight surprise so she distracted herself with a long, yellowed piece of flimsi laying on his desk instead. Of course, what he kept there was certainly none of Padme's business, but it was so rare to find such a thing these days! As she inspected it closer, her eyes widened in surprise. "Is this Futhork?"
"Good catch," the Emperor to be laughed as something proud shone in his bright golden eyes, "yes, it is. I'm impressed."
She hadn't seen anything written in Futhork in more years than she could count! A specialised calligraphy created on Naboo, was extremely rare to find these days given the ease of technology – especially on actual flimsi. "Where did you find this?" Any manners she possessed fled the Senator's senses as she traced her fingertip along the flimsi's fragile edge and she felt a small tremor of excitement race through her skin. Bail had framed poetry handwritten just like this along his walls, something she was exceedingly envious of, though the Senator had paid no small fortune for the decoration. It was just so beautiful, she longed for one of her own to display.
"I came across some possessions of my father's lately," Vader picked at invisible lint on his black jacket. "I admit, I didn't know very much about the man and what I've learned hasn't been very pleasant," something dark and angry flashed in Vader's golden eyes for a moment before he masked his emotions beneath an empty smile. "I believe it's from an ancient, hand-written novel or book of poetry perhaps? It seems like a prologue to me." Padme glanced down at the words so carefully scrawled across the aged flimsi, narrowing her eyes to properly take in its words.
"Across stars untold, the very shape of the galaxy unmoulds
as two souls are locked in an eternal dance of fate.
Plotted by destinies and foes alike, beneath showers of blinding white light,
as familial eyes of three offer their guidance,
two lovers will end their lives."
A cold shudder raced through every inch of the Senator's body as she read and reread the words. If it was indeed a prologue to some lost Nubian tale, Padme wasn't entirely sure she wished to know the rest. Upon a third reading, she abandoned her attempt to truly understand the piece and lifted her gaze to Vader. "It's very… intense."
"Hmm," he nodded, "I'm not surprised it's something my father kept. If anyone savoured an unhappy ending, it would be him. I found it inside another book – more Futhork – and flipped through to sate my curiosity. 'The Tragedy of Set and Verre'." The Prince reached into one of the drawers built into his sprawling black desk, producing a black leather-bound book of flimsi with the title in stark golden lettering.
"I've never heard of that story," she frowned. Why would the Emperor hoard such antique stories to himself? They were pieces of history! Her homeworld's past and something to be treasured. He hardly seemed the type to enjoy tragic romances, after all. "What is it about?"
"Two lovers, Set and Verre, who face galactic obstacles to be together." He ran his thumb through the yellowed pages, flicking through them at speed. "They are almost torn apart but come together stronger in the end and marry."
Well, the prologue on the table couldn't be for that story, could it? "At least it has a happy ending," she smiled, glancing at words before her once more. Two lovers will end their lives… Yes, she definitely preferred a happy ending.
"Actually," Vader gave a chuckle, "after their marriage, that's when the troubles truly begin… Here, you should read it. I think you will enjoy it." He slid the book across his desk and into Padme's waiting hand. She felt the softness of the pages with her fingers in awe. Some collectors would part with more credits than she dared imagine to get their hands on something like this and Vader was just giving it to her?
"Thank you," she whispered, "that's – it's very kind of you. I'll return it to you as soon as – "
"It's yours," he shook his head, "I have no use for it. Keep it. Think of it as a wedding gift."
As Anakin and his chosen Captains gathered before him, Vader was overcome with nervous energy. Anger and excitement warred within him. When he had received intelligence from the spies he had so carefully planted within the Rebel Alliance minutes after leaving his meeting with Padme, the Prince had roared and almost thrown the poor delivery droid across the room. Someone had talked! The mysterious leaders of the Alliance had been spooked and planned to abandon the base on Crait to ensure their weapon remained hidden.
They had to act fast to guarantee victory.
"Gentlemen," Vader glowered before them once the door slid securely shut. "We have a problem. It seems our channels of communication are not as protected as we believed. I have received word from my people within the Alliance. Movements are being made on Crait to evade our impending attack."
"Force damn it!" Anakin hissed, slamming his fists on the table, "Who talked?"
"We are investigating the matter as we speak." He watched Rex and Cody exchange a glance, "We must move swiftly if we are to eradicate the Alliance once and for all as planned. I want to discover the truth of this weapon before they slither into whatever hideout the traitors have lined up and smuggle it with them."
Pinching at the bridge of his nose, Anakin moved to the battle plans projected in a hazy blue hue above the table in the centre of the room. "I suppose we can send Rex and Cody with their men right away to get a head start before – "
"No," Vader shook his head, silencing his brother midsentence. Upon consideration, there was merely one viable option available to them now. Closing his eyes, the Prince sensed the dread begin to swell within his twin, he felt Anakin's gaze as vividly as a scalding touch. He thought of Padme suddenly, imagined her small hand resting upon a swollen stomach… the day after tomorrow, she had said yesterday. The day after tomorrow she would be married. She would be Anakin's for the rest of their lives. "We will leave at dawn tomorrow," Vader declared, "see to it that everything is ready," he dismissed Rex and Cody who bowed wide-eyed.
From where he stood frozen by the table, Anakin opened and then closed his mouth twice before glowering at the floor. As Vader lowered himself into his red-cushioned chair, he waited for the argument to come but his brother did not speak. Was he angry that his wedding was now cancelled? Perhaps he was secretly relieved? Did Anakin suspect he had made these decisions to purposely ensure the wedding did not happen?
Vader told himself that he hadn't. He couldn't have.
It was just unfortunate timing.
Something tight tickled in his chest and clawed at his throat, making the future Emperor cough dryly as Anakin ran a hand over his face. At last, a shaking, tumbling sigh burst out of his brother's unwilling lips. "I have to go," he murmured, "I… Rex and Cody will handle everything… I…" He seemed to deflate before Vader's very eyes. Force, I'm a monster, guilt swelled uncontrollably within him though he was careful to hide it behind thick shields lest Anakin sense the turmoil he felt. "I'll speak with you in the morning."
Utter defeat coated Anakin's words and Vader's fell shut the moment his brother disappeared from the room.
Father would be proud.
Settling into one of the plush armchairs in Anakin's quarters within the palace, Padme ran her fingers over the yellowing edges of the book Vader gave her. It was such a beautiful gift, she felt a little afraid to properly touch it. What if something ever happened to it? It was utterly irreplaceable! The story appealed to her more than the fear made her nervous. She had always been weak for a tale of forbidden love, even if the title promised tragedy.
Just as she delicately began to peel open the first page, the Senator was startled to attention as her fiancé burst into the room and threw a datapad into the wall. The device collided with a booming clatter, fracturing the screen into a thousand tiny shards lost in the carpet. The impact left a small rounded dent in the red wall in its wake. She dropped the book onto the table in front of her. "Ani?" She frowned, "What is it? What's happened?" He was always quick to anger but it was rare to see it explode like this. Something must have gone on in his meeting, maybe a disagreement with Vader?
Wrenching off his black coat bearing the Empire's military insignia across his heart in grand golden threads, Anakin carelessly tossed it over the sofa, running his hand across his face. "There are spies in the palace," he growled, "traitorous, unfaithful scum who have shared every detail they know of my plans with the Alliance. They know we're coming and when."
"What does that mean?" She climbed to her feet, holding her breath. Even without his miraculous abilities to sense the emotions of others, Padme could feel the stress pouring out of him in waves. There had been months of planning behind this operation, she knew how important it was to him to not let his brother down.
"It means," Anakin shook his head, dropping his heavy gaze to his boots for a moment before regretfully lifting to her own once more, "Angel, I'm so sorry… Vader has decided that, to ensure our victory over the traitors, we're leaving first thing in the morning."
"What?" Padme's legs began to tremble, threatening to collapse beneath the shock this blow dealt. "No… that's not… but our wedding is - "
"I know," Anakin nodded guiltily, reaching to trace his gloved palms up and down her upper arms softly, "I'm sorry, my love. I've already reached out to the holy man, he's not available tonight and unless we simply wish to sign the necessary papers and have it done, he says there is nothing he can do for us."
Nubian holy men were a rarity outside of her home world, most of her people returned home for their weddings so there was little need elsewhere. It had made planning their little wedding extremely difficult. If Padme could not have a real wedding day, she drew the line at not being married with a traditional Nubian ceremony. It was the one thing she had asked of him.
And now it was ruined.
Hot, angry tears pricked at her eyes. "I don't understand… why can't you send your men ahead of you? Why do you and Vader have to leave so soon?" Granted, Padme was no military expert but couldn't an exception have been made? Surely a matter of hours between their departures would not affect matters so terribly?
"I asked," he sighed, "Vader thought it was best that our arrival is not staggered. I know this is unfortunate, Padme, but don't be angry with him. It's not as if he knew what he was doing with such a decision – it's my fault for not telling him when - "
"No," she shook her head, that wasn't right at all! "He did know. We had a meeting just today and he asked me about our wedding. I told him everything… He knew, Anakin."
Heaving another sigh, he gathered Padme into his arms and laid a gentle kiss on her cheek. Despite her fierce disappointment, she leaned into him, resting her head on Anakin's broad chest and felt his chin tuck itself upon her head. "Vader didn't do it on purpose, Angel, I promise. He has a lot on his mind, that's all. He's desperate to know what the Rebel's weapon is – we all are. For my sake, please don't hold it against him."
Though she frowned toward the window, though bitterness crept into her heart, Padme held him. Soothed him. Whispered words of sweetness she knew Anakin craved to hear until the tension slowly left his stiff body. Even when he kissed her forehead, her eyes and finally her lips, she was mechanical, responding merely on instinct as fire sparked inside her mind. Through it all, one thought haunted her, plagued her even as their kisses grew in heat and passion, as Anakin stripped her clothing away, Padme couldn't help but think the same thing over and over and over again.
Vader was lying.
Force, what time was it?
Behind his desk, Vader's mind drifted wildly through the influence of spice coursing through his system. Having inhaled the stimulant in its purest form, the Prince's inhibitions had a difficult time reaching him tonight. Most men who knew the next day could be their last would celebrate life, they would find a partner and fuck for as long as their bodies could stand it.
Not him. Misery was his loyal companion this evening. Vader was stone behind his desk, wallowing as he considered his unsatisfying life year by year, choice by choice. Ghosts of the past shook their heads. Lives unlived taunted him. The Prince drank whiskey heavily from the bottle.
Allowing himself to become so entranced by melancholy was a rare thing for Vader but such moments always followed a carefully mapped, intimately familiar path. Thoughts of Satine. Regrets. Anger. Hate. And then he thought of the throne. Sometimes, the Prince hated that he had won the battle against Anakin which their father had forced them to fight to claim the throne. He hated that he was the child thrust onto the path of power, allowing the seed of obsession to grow and grow within him until his quest for the crown consumed him.
There was a poet whose words Vader read once, who claimed the pursuit of something was far sweeter than the claiming. If this was sweetness, then he wished to never know how bitterness would taste on his tongue. His every day was sheer agony and the nights were worse. Would it all be worth it when he finally ascended? When his father finally gave out and Vader sat in his place, would he be glad of his decisions?
A knock thudded twice before his office door slid open revealing his brother's angel before him. Clad in a white nightgown patterned by small, pale pink flowers and a thick, blue robe she wore open, Padme invited herself into the room before the Prince could recover his wits enough to do so himself.
Vader attempted to sit straight as his yellow eyes watched every slow step the Senator took toward him, unhurried and achingly beautiful. She was a Goddess come to taunt him. Untouchable and yet so painfully close. "Padme," he breathed her name, in his intoxicated state it was difficult to string words together coherently. "What… how can I help you?"
"Spice?" She lifted a haughty eyebrow, plucking up the pipe he had inhaled the narcotics through, "People spend years in prisons for coming into contact with this poison and yet their future Emperor uses it freely?" Padme shook her head, "You're better than this, Vader."
He could not find it within himself to glare at her, though he wanted to. "Shouldn't you be with my brother? I thought you two would be savouring every moment possible together," Vader knew it was cruel but his tongue spat the words before his mind could stop it.
When Anakin had stormed from the meeting earlier, Vader had imagined his twin with Padme in her apartment. Making love or preparations for the baby perhaps, he hadn't thought to see either of them until tomorrow. "I was," she dropped the pipe on his desk with a clang. "Anakin is asleep. It's late." Slowly, she rounded his desk and he spun his chair to face her. His traitorous, pitiful heart began to hammer as forbidden thoughts raced through his all too willing mind. "I wanted to talk to you about something," she said quietly, "I need to."
"You can talk to me about anything," Vader hardly dared to breathe.
"I know there are spies who have betrayed you to the Rebels," her dark eyes looked at Vader with such hurt painted within them, "but why did Anakin have to leave so soon? Couldn't you have begun without him?"
Force help him, he was too far gone for this sort of conversation. "I cannot risk losing the Rebel leaders again. Their existence threatens my family's reign – our family's reign. Anakin is the head of my military, well, my father's military. His presence is required if we hope to defeat them."
"But," something quivered inside of her and her voice dropped to a whisper as tears began to pool in her beautiful eyes, "you knew we wanted to be married before he left. I told you our plans Vader… you knew…"
I'm not strong enough to watch you marry him. I want you both as miserable as I am. Why should he have what I can't?
"I'm sorry," Vader said at last, "in the heat of the moment, I… I forgot about the wedding, Padme. I forgot everything that's not Crait. I ask your forgiveness."
The disappointment flowed from her in poignant, drowning waves and Vader fed upon it, thrilling in it utterly. His feelings mystified and enraged him at once. Vader loved his brother. He cared deeply for Padme. And yet… the sight of them together, their joy and their love sicked him. The ruinous parts of him wished to see it burn before his eyes. He could not bear it to know they were happy while he knew only darkness. It was unfair! When his father died and he wore the Imperial crown, Vader would be in a better place to accept their love. He could learn to accept that Padme wanted Anakin and no other. It would be easier to distract himself then.
After a few tense moments, the tightness of her shoulders faded. She all but slumped before him. Now at least, Padme did not think him heartless but merely thoughtless and that was far preferable. He watched as she wrapped her arms around herself and longed to replace them with his own, to hold and comfort her. To promise the very galaxy and every star he could claw from the sky… Force, to touch her, to really touch her would be to absorb fire into his skin. "Don't worry," Vader wished for nothing more than to be the man who soothed her, even for one small moment. "He'll come home. I'll make sure of it," he promised.
"I'm sorry," Padme wiped at her eyes subtly, "I shouldn't be burdening you with all of this. You have other things to be thinking about."
"No," he shook his head, finding the strength to stand. By some mercy, Vader did not stumble. "You're carrying my brother's child. You love him," the mantra was for himself as much as it was for the Senator before him as he approached. "You owe me no apologies for your worries."
Though she sniffled, somehow, his clumsy words inspired a small smile across her pretty mouth. "Thank you, Vader." After a moment, she raised her eyes to him once more, "He will never admit it, but Anakin would prefer that you stay here. He would rather see you safe than by his side in battle." As the Prince drew closer to her, Padme slowly lifted a trembling palm and placed it upon his chest. For a moment, he sensed… something. Something new and racing within her, but he was quickly distracted by the utter breathlessness which came upon him. Her small touch created an intense shudder throughout his every nerve and vein. His cock twitched inside his pants. Force, he would give anything… anything…
Of course, he knew of Anakin's unsubtle desires. It had been easy to resent them. Vader was to be Emperor, it did not make tactical sense to send both heirs into the fire and hope they returned. Should the worst occur, the galaxy would be plunged into turmoil – the remaining heir would be the child Padme carried and few would wait around for its birth and coming of age. He understood all of that, truly, but if the Rebel Alliance was to be destroyed once and for all, it would be his lightsaber which saw its end. It was his right.
"Do you?" He heard himself ask, "Do you want me to stay?"
"Of course I do," Padme whispered. Her eyes would not leave his gaze, so inviting, so damned tempting. She was warm and tender Vader was overcome. Bathing in the affection in her breathtaking eyes, he felt like a man. "I care about you," she said, "We both do! And that's without thinking about your importance to the galaxy."
If Anakin knew what Vader had done, purposely ruining his wedding and desiring the woman he loved beyond words… These were not the actions of a brother who loved his twin and yet he couldn't stop. His life was dark and empty and he had nothing but future plans and bitter regrets to show for it. Nothing real and tangible. Well, nothing but the woman before him now. Her hand on his chest and her tempting eyes gazing into his. His heart quickened.
The Prince stopped breathing as he considered. She would not be here if she did not care for him. He wavered. Hesitated. Wanted.
And then, he moved.
Through the bleary haze of spices, Vader saw Padme's eyes widen as he cupped her soft, smooth cheek in his roughened palm and pressed his lips to hers. The galaxy around him faded to nothing at her glorious touch. He groaned, snaking an arm around her waist and urged her closer, pressing her body to his. Never had he kissed lips so plush, so soft… She gasped and he swallowed it, using the slight sound to slide his tongue into her mouth, plundering it desperately. She was soft in his arms, so small and feminine… Hot, searing arousal flooded the Prince's body so suddenly, he was hardly prepared for the assault. His cock stiffened in his trousers. Force, he needed her!
Moaning, Vader slipped his hand around to her neck, to tip her head back and -
"Ah!" He cried out as a sudden force sent him reeling backwards into his chair once more. Usually, he would have caught and righted himself before such an embarrassing display but the narcotics in his system dulled his reflexes. He looked up for the source of the shove and gaped.
Padme glared hatefully at him, lifting a trembling hand to touch her kiss-swollen lips. "What the hell are you thinking?" She hissed. He blinked and the truth revealed itself to him. Utter shock painted her paling face. Horror had filled those lovely eyes, draining the warmth he found there previously. She hadn't wanted it… The realisation was gutting.
"I…" What could he say? His frazzled mind could piece together nothing. "Padme, I…"
"No!" She shook her head, stepping backwards to place distance between them. "No! I don't… I love your brother! Vader, I – I never meant to… if I ever gave you the impression… I love Anakin."
Force, when had he become such a deplorable wretch? High on spices and attempting intoxicated seduction on the woman Anakin loved above all else in the galaxy… Who was he?
"I'm sorry," he muttered. The room began to spin around him and he covered his face in his hands. "I apologise, truly."
A trembling, furious shudder poured out of her then, drawing the Prince's attention back to the woman before him. "Is this… Vader, is this why you ruined my wedding?" Hateful tears gleamed in her eyes, "Was it all out of some misguided jealously?" He was too far gone to hide his emotions now. The truth shone in every inch of his slackened face. Let her see him. Let her know the monster which hid beneath his skin. And saw him she did. "Gods, it's true, isn't it?" She gasped, holding a hand over her heaving chest. "You're sick!" The shock morphed into anger before his very eyes. "I have never and will never want you!" At once, she turned, meaning to leave but paused by the doorway. Foolish, childish hope bloomed in his chest until Padme turned to him once more, disgust shining in her eyes. "He's your brother…"
With one last shake of her head, the Senator fled Vader's office, leaving him slumped in his chair.
Alone.