Chapter Twenty-Seven - Time Is Of The Essence
That evening Severus could hardly focus on his work, during the owl post at breakfast he had received a message from Albus to get a move on retrieving information from Draco on his task. The headmaster had been gone on a mission for quite a while, so the sudden message had shocked Severus and it made him realize that his current plan of trying to get Draco to accept his help, in hopes that he would confide in Severus of his plans for his task, was not working. He was now forced to go about it in another way, a harsher way, and Severus was already regretting it as he began to mentally plan it out throughout the day.
The message from Albus and his plans for Draco was not the only thing that was distracting Severus from his work, it was also the Potions lesson he held today for his sixth years.
Severus had spared one glance at Harry walking into the classroom with his friends and by the annoyed and hurt look on his face when he caught Severus' eye from across the room, Severus knew Harry was still upset with him for taking the map away. Severus had held him back after the lesson, but Harry wouldn't speak to him, just gave him short and clipped answers to Severus' questions, avoiding his gaze, and of course they had ended up arguing. Severus told Harry he could be angry at him all he wanted, but he wasn't feeling guilty whatsoever in taking the map away. He had given Harry an order, no maps at the table, and Harry disobeyed and that was that. Remus was right, parenting wasn't always just going to be sunshines and rainbows… However, Severus did manage to be successful in getting Harry to promise that he would show up for dinner for Friday's mental health check. Severus had even promised Harry that they could reevaluate the situation again on the map. That had melted the ice a bit between them at least.
Now with Severus' thoughts full of Harry and his bloody obsession with watching Draco on the Marauder's Map, the words on the essay he was meant to be reading began to swim before him, making Severus feel that if he had to read one more atrocious essay on poisons and antidotes, he was going to set the whole bloody pile of student scrolls on fire. It was tempting, so very tempting, but instead Severus gave up reading it and wrote a large red D at the top left corner. He looked to see who's essay it was…
Ah, Weasley's… Figures… Severus thought with annoyance. How the fuck did that brat make it into his N.E.W.T class was still a mystery to him.
He rolled up the scroll and placed it on the pile then left his office, making his way out of the dungeons and up several flights of stairs to the Defense wing
After a very, very long day of lessons and grading, it was finally time for Severus' favorite part of the day, making his annoyance at Weasley and the essays, his worries of Draco and Harry, and anger and annoyance at Albus and his message, all fade away.
During the months that followed after the Christmas break ended, Severus and Remus had fallen into a sort of routine, making it a point to visit each other for a nightcap and a chat before bed, no matter how late the evening grew. Then they would both retire to bed together depending on who was the last one finished with their work, that was the living quarters they would end up at.
Severus found Remus in his office, sitting on the large windowsill. His back was against the wooden frame and his side was pressed up against the glass. The Marauder's Map was open on his lap. Remus was studying it so intensively that Severus wasn't even sure if Remus had noticed his arrival.
But as Severus made his way over to him, Remus sat up and crossed his legs, making just enough space for Severus to sit across from him. He then leant over and gave Severus a distracted kiss on the lips without taking his eyes off the map, showing Severus that he had in fact noticed him entering the office.
Not wanting to interrupt him with this work, Severus only watched Remus for a while, admiring the way his hazel eyes scanned over the map, the way his forehead was creased with concentration. His furrowed brow, and the way Remus kept worrying his bottom lip and muttering to himself as he prodded the map every few seconds.
Remus had taken off his outer robes and left them hanging over his desk chair, leaving him in his brown pants, a white shirt and brown vest with a dark blue tie tucked in. The sleeves of his shirt were rolled up to his elbows, and Severus admired the way the vest showed off his thin figure. Remus' golden hair was also a bit of a mess from most likely running a hand through it with frustration several times. Severus couldn't help but admire how adorable and mad Remus was looking at the exact same time in that very moment, causing Severus to smile endearingly as he watched him.
"What are you smiling at?" Remus asked when he finally looked up at Severus with a smile of his own and a soft look in those hazel eyes only meant for Severus. That beautiful smile, the way Remus spoke to Severus, looked at him, as if he were the brightest thing in the room. It all caused Severus' breath to hitch a bit. Severus, who was known to be the most powerful and most loyal servant to the Dark Lord among the Death Eaters… Far from something bright, but dark and ugly and something to be feared… They would never know that just one look like that from Remus Lupin had Severus melting into a puddle.
"Have you figured anything out yet?" Severus managed to ask.
"Draco has disappeared three times today and it happens everytime he goes onto the seventh floor…"
Remus looked back down at the map, prodding it again with his wand, muttering a few more incantations. He began to worry his bottom lip again until Severus reached over and softly placed his thumb on those pink lips to stop him.
Remus looked at Severus again with a questioning look. "What is on the seventh floor that can make you leave the school grounds? There's none of those secret tunnels… I mean most of them are unusable anyway, except for the one-eyed witch that leads to Honeydukes, but something is telling me that Draco isn't using that."
"There's the headmaster's office…" Severus started to list everything on the seventh floor for him, hopefully a verbal list would help Remus get a brain wave. "The staircase to the Astronomy tower, the Room of Requirement…"
Remus suddenly gasped out with clarity and shock. "Merlin! Severus! Oh! I'm so bloody dimwitted!"
"You're very far from dimwitted, darling, believe me on that," Severus said with a small huff of amusement mixed with curiosity of what was going on in that brilliant head of his.
"Severus!" Remus spoke over him, still full of shock and clarity and not at all hearing Severus speak during his sudden epiphany. "Draco is using the Room of Requirement! That's an unknowable room, that is why I've made the user of the room unplottable as soon as they step inside of it! There is nothing wrong with the map, it's the room! How could I have forgotten that?! Whatever Draco is doing, it's in there!"
Remus turned the map towards Severus, his hazel eyes searching… "And look!" He pointed to a corridor on the seventh floor that seemed to have nothing at all.
Severus furrowed his eyebrows at Remus, then stared down at the map. Draco was of course nowhere in sight, but near that empty corridor was Crabbe and Goyle, and they were pacing.
All Severus could do was gape at the small dots, then he looked at Remus. "Remus! You're so fucking brilliant! I could just kiss you!"
Remus gave Severus a small laugh in return, "Please do, I've been working hard on this all day between lessons." His voice was suddenly tinged with exhaustion.
Severus frowned at that, reaching over and cupping the side of Remus' face. "You do look exhausted… I wish you would have agreed to take the extra day off and then you would've had more time to figure out the map." It had only been two days since the full-moon. Just after one full day of rest, Remus had determinedly gone back to work.
Remus huffed at that. "Only for me to figure this out earlier, then just sit around and wallow in my depression for the rest of the day? I think not, my love."
Severus peered into Remus' hazel eyes as he spoke, noticing the pain swirling around in them, and Severus knew that even though Remus seemed okay right now, even though this full-moon wasn't as bad as the previous ones, Remus was still very, very far from being okay… He was silently drowning, silently hurting, silently trying to get through the day without breaking down.
And Severus wanted Remus to know that he knew of the silent struggle Remus was currently in, his silent battle with the darkness inside of him. And he wanted Remus to know that he wasn't alone, that Severus was here to help Remus chase the darkness away with a bit of light.
Severus pulled Remus close to him, kissing him softly and slowly, hoping Remus could feel all of what he was thinking in his kiss, could feel how much Severus loved him and how appreciative he was of him for figuring out how Draco was disappearing on the Marauder's Map with such dedication.
The deep kiss left them both breathless, their foreheads leaning together as Remus whispered against Severus' lips. His breath was warm, tickling Severus a bit… "I love you, Severus."
"I love you too, Remus," Severus whispered back, placing a hand on the back of Remus' neck and pulling him closer, causing them to start kissing again.
Once they pulled apart after several long moments, Remus had a small upturned smile, a bit shy, a bit dazed, but also full of love and affection for Severus. He then looked back down at the map that was still on his lap. Severus followed his gaze to the old piece of parchment.
"Draco is still at the Room of Requirement," Remus pointed out. "You should go and catch him, see if he leaves… Just to confirm my theory."
"There is no need for that, I completely trust you, but I will go… I need to talk to him, I need information from him regarding his task, it's for Albus."
Remus gave him a questioning look, and Severus could practically hear his unspoken questions as if Remus had asked them out loud.
"If you must, Severus, but please do come back. I need to tell you how my third year lesson went with the Murtlap escaping its enclosure today," Remus said, handing Severus the map, considerately leaving it open for him.
"Of course I'll come back, you silly wolf," Severus promised.
.
.
Severus had hidden himself in a dark alcove on the seventh floor near the Room of Requirement waiting for Draco to finally reappear on the map. He was surprised to see two young girls pacing the corridor, oddly both were carrying sets of very heavy-looking scales. Severus used a bit of the dim light coming from the sconces of the alcove to check the map of who they were, thoroughly confused because Severus was sure that before he left, there was no one around but Crabbe and Goyle… And looking at the map, he realized those two girls were them… They have to be using Polyjuice Potion…
And Severus suddenly remembered when Remus had almost fallen over from bumping into a small girl carrying scales in that exact same corridor, when Remus was trying to get into the Room of Requirement months ago. It all made sense now, why Remus couldn't get into the room. Draco had been inside of it and either Crabbe or Goyle had been disguised as that girl, dropping the scales to alert their presence to Draco.
To think, Draco had been using the Room of Requirement this whole time, right under their noses! How many times has Severus been up here on this floor to Albus' office or to the Astronomy tower while Draco was inside that room the whole time working on his task? No wonder he refused to leave the castle during the holidays, that meant it was an object that either couldn't be seen or it wasn't easy to hide or too large to carry around… Severus wondered what it was he was doing in there… Was he working on some sort of weapon or a potion to murder Albus with?
Now Severus understood why Remus was feeling dimwitted, he was certainly feeling like an imbecile himself for not figuring out the obvious sooner. Where else would Draco successfully hide himself while working on his task without Harry catching him right away on the Marauder's Map? The blasted Room of Requirement of course!
Severus leant against the wall for a bit of relief from standing, he wasn't sure how long Draco was planning on staying inside the room tonight, but he was willing to wait however long it may take, even though he would much rather be spending the night with Remus in bed, listening to how the ugly little creature escaped from its tank… But this conversation Severus was preparing to have with Draco was critical. He'd been planning it all day, and he had to do it now, now that he had Draco cornered for once… Time was of the essence… February was quickly turning into March. That was about three months left of the school year and once those months were up, it would mark almost a year of the deadly curse that was coursing through Albus' veins. Severus deeply regretted that he didn't have the power to stop it, then maybe things would have been very different.
They didn't have a lot of time left… That was what Albus had stated in his letter that morning and Severus knew he was right.
That meant it was time for Severus to change tactics on getting Draco to reveal his task and when and where he was going to execute it. It wouldn't do for Draco to get to Albus before Severus did. Severus closed his eyes, shutting off his mind and began to finish up the false memories he'd been working on throughout the day.
Then finally, finally…an hour after midnight, Severus heard the door open. He wrapped up the last false memory and pulled himself out of his trance, straightening himself up. Before putting it away, he quickly checked the map to see Draco heading his way. Crabbe and Goyle were a few paces ahead of him. He quickly turned out all of the sconces in the alcove with his wand, leaving Severus in pitch-black darkness.
The two morons passed on ahead, their footsteps echoing down the stairs until they couldn't be heard anymore. Severus kept himself from grunting out his annoyance at them, he would think they would try to walk more silently since they were way past curfew.
But Draco was indeed more mindful of his footsteps. He was so quiet, Severus had almost missed him passing the alcove. Cursing under his breath, Severus drawled in his most coldest and detached voice, stopping Draco in his tracks just before he went down the stairs, "It's past curfew."
Severus' sudden voice that seemed to appear out of nowhere startled Draco, who had instantly pulled out his wand, whirling around, trying to find him. And still hidden in the darkness, Severus gave his godson a quick full-body assessment and he certainly didn't like what he was seeing, filling him up with concern that he could never express to Draco.
Draco wasn't doing well, that much was obvious for months. His face was pale, so pale that the dark circles under his eyes looked like purple bruises. His eyes were bloodshot from lack of sleep or if he'd just been done crying, or maybe both. He lost a concerning amount of weight in a short amount of time and Draco's white-blonde hair that was always so carefully styled with hair-gel was a mess, resembling Harry's usual hairstyle. This haggard appearance of Draco's… Severus realized it was now the norm for him. Aside from the time Draco had spent with him and Harry during the summer, Severus couldn't remember the last time Draco wasn't looking so exhausted or looked put-together.
And now what Severus was about to do to Draco…it was only going to cause him more stress…
If only you'd accepted my help, godson… This is for your own good…
Severus hated what he was about to do, what he was about to say, what he was forced to pretend to be, but he had no other choice… Draco refused to not only take Severus' help, but to confide in him of what he was planning. Severus really thought his godson might take it, that he could be trustworthy enough to go into hiding and have confirmation that Severus had always been Dumbledore's spy, but it all failed and now there was no hope in that happening… Time had run out….
Ever since the Christmas break ended, Draco stopped showing up to his detentions to make up for all of his missing work, meaning Severus couldn't get him alone anymore. He had even tried a few more times to talk to him after lessons were over but as soon as the bell would ring, Draco was without fail the first student out of the classroom. Severus had even resorted to sending him detention notices and office summons, but they were all ignored. The last summons Draco had received was during breakfast that day. He'd only torn it up and sent Severus an angry glare before storming out of the Great Hall. Severus had even popped into the Slytherin common room a couple of times but Draco was never there. He'd been purposely avoiding Severus.
Severus lit up his wand with a non-verbal Lumos, finally revealing himself as he stepped out of the alcove.
Draco instantly faced him, his wand pointing directly at Severus.
"Lower your wand," Severus ordered in a low commanding voice.
"You fucking scared the hell out me, Snape!" Draco shouted.
"A point for language and let's say…about ten points taken away from Slytherin for being out of your dormitory way past curfew. What are you doing out here so late?"
"I don't fucking care about house points!" Draco scoffed with annoyance and defiance. "How many times do I have to tell you to fuck off and leave me alone? I'm not going to your stupid detentions! I don't have time to waste on bloody homework! The only reason I even go to lessons is to keep you and the professors off my back!"
"The Room of Requirement…" Severus said with thought, stepping closer and closer towards his godson until the tip of Draco's wand was digging into his chest. "How smart of you to think of a perfect place to keep whatever it is you're doing in there."
"I'm not telling you anything!" Draco snarled, the hand he was holding his wand with was shaking.
"Oh, I know that, godson, just like how I know you won't dare attack me… Lower your wand…"
Draco didn't respond, only continued to keep his defensive stance.
"Lower your wand…" Severus said again, slowly and threateningly.
And Draco only continued to glare at him, not moving, not backing down, his wand hand still trembling. The shadows under his eyes darker than ever, his face looking even more sickly now that Severus was so close to him.
"I have just one question for you. Answer it, then I'll leave you to your task. No more interfering on my part… No more detention slips… And, you can sleep during my classes and I won't even spare you a glance."
Merlin, the boy needs sleep more than a lesson on Potions!
Draco hesitated at Severus' words, then finally drew his wand away, yet he kept his cold and defiant glare on Severus.
"How much more time will it be until your task is complete? That way I can start making preparations for having to flee the castle. You know the headmaster has extra guards patrolling the castle at night. It wouldn't do for us to be caught in a duel."
Draco let his guard down for just a moment, he was completely taken aback by Severus' question. It was clear he hadn't expected that to come out of Severus' mouth. "You're… You're leaving with me?" he asked, his voice suddenly filled with uncertainty.
"Did you really think I could stay here once the headmaster is found dead?"
Draco didn't respond to that right away. He seemed to be weighing the consequences and rewards of what he might choose, to speak or to be silent.
"Come on, Draco," Severus coaxed with impatience. "It's just harmless information between us and the time can always change… I just need an estimation. Besides, why are you suddenly so worried? It's not as if you've been exactly careful… Arguing about the task with your friends in the Great Hall full of people… That misjudgement of yours has cost you. Potter is on to you now, which you would have known sooner if you would have stopped avoiding me!"
Draco scowled at that, the shadows from the flickering dimmed sconces on the wall danced on Draco's pale face. "It was Crabbe and Goyle! They wouldn't drop it!"
"Be that as it may, be sure to take extra care to not be discovered. It would no doubt lead to greater consequences than just Potter overhearing you…and all because of you not being able to keep your friends' traps shut!"
"Who are you to lecture me?" Draco spat.
"Task or no task, I'm still your godfather!" Severus spat back.
Draco gave Severus a questionable look. "Why are you calling Harry by his surname? Last time we'd spoken, you were calling him Harry… You were inviting me over for the holidays…"
And there it was…a crack in Draco's steel mask, revealing his fear, his uncertainty, the care and friendship he still held for Harry. And Severus wanted to break his Death Eater act right there in that moment and convince Draco again to let him take over the task and go into hiding, but he knew it wouldn't work. It hasn't and it wouldn't… Draco had exhausted all of Severus' offers of help. Now if Draco needed help, he was getting the version of Severus that was the Dark Lord's most trusted and loyal servant.
Then the crack disappeared. Draco recovered himself from his shock. He had been studying Severus' face intensively. Severus had fixed his face to not the usual impassive mask he often used to hide himself with or of his normal self, the version of himself Draco had grown used to during the summer with him and Harry, but a face of hard cruelty and cunning, the face of a Death Eater that has been in hiding for so long.
Draco's blue-gray eyes widened and Severus knew he was terrified.
He knew Draco had begun to believe that Severus wasn't loyal to the Dark Lord, that his loyalty was to Harry and he had kept it a secret…and Draco was right, even though Severus never confirmed it to him… But now, Severus was going to regretfully confirm that theory as false. He was going to make Draco believe that he was very wrong to assume that… That the whole time, Severus was really loyal to the Dark Lord all along, waiting for the right time to reveal his true self. And Severus had to make this one-hundred percent believable to be able to pull this off and get Draco to answer his question and to open up about the task.
With his heart aching Severus hoped that one day, when this was all over, that Draco would forgive him for lying to him and playing these manipulative games with him. That he would one day see that Severus was doing all of this to protect his soul.
"Did you really think I actually cared for that Potter brat? Do you remember when you told me that you suspected my loyalties had changed to Potter? Had I actually confirmed that? No. Potter was right to get so upset with me all those months ago, resulting in him slicing up his arm… I had slipped…and I saved it by making him believe I had taken him in because I'd grown fond of him and not just on Dumbledore's orders… But Potter was right…it had only been for duty, but not for that old headmaster…no… It was all for the Dark Lord… That was why I wanted you to keep your mouth shut about the situation of Potter living in my quarters. I didn't want you interfering with my work. The Dark Lord knew all along about it and ordered me to break Potter by betraying him in the worst possible way…leaving him weak and vulnerable for him."
"No! There's no fucking way you are that good of an actor!" Draco shouted.
"It's okay, godson, don't believe me… I guess I'll just have to show you…"
Before Draco could even stop him, Severus caught his eye and said, "Legilimens!" And every false memory that he'd been silently working on in the alcove as he waited for Draco to come out of the Room of Requirement… Severus shoved it all towards Draco, forcing him to see and believe everything Severus had just told him. There was no way he would be able to deny the hard evidence now.
Once Severus released his hold, Draco stepped back with fear.
"You're really going to betray Harry like that? You're really leaving the castle with me and leaving him behind?!" Draco gasped, his voice shaking with shock.
Severus let his eyes harden, let his mouth twist in an ugly smile. "I'll finally be free of that brat and Albus Dumbledore. Now, how much time do we have left?"
When Draco still couldn't respond to his question, Severus gave his best intimidating glare and annoyed scowl as he lifted up his sleeve and showed Draco his dark mark. "Show me yours, now!"
To Severus' surprise which he didn't dare show, Draco lifted up his arm and with a trembling hand pulled up his sleeve, showing him his forearm.
And there it was… Cold, hard evidence that Draco was already branded as a Death Eater. Harry was right all along. The task was Draco's initiation as a new Death Eater in the Dark Lord's circle, if he didn't succeed, he was a dead man.
"I've been waiting for you to prove to me that you can do this without betraying the Dark Lord… You've done an excellent job, denying every single one of my offers of assistance, knowing you cannot trust me and with the confidence that you can do it alone… You've denied the chance to betray the Dark Lord and go into hiding, the easy way out… I applaud you for that, Draco, and you even had the brilliant idea of using the Room of Requirement… And for all of that, I reward you by revealing my true loyalty to the Dark Lord…"
Draco stepped back, no longer bothering to hide the fear and shock in his eyes. Severus knew his plan was working, he knew that Draco knew he was too far in to turn away from his task now and the only way to end this conversation between them was to answer Severus' question.
"You have nothing to fear, godson, we are on the same side. I won't even take over your task, that was never my intention, only to make sure you were truly loyal and capable of doing it…"
As Severus spoke, he was breaking and breaking and breaking, and Draco, of course, couldn't see that. All he was seeing was the Dark Lord's favorite servant finally revealing himself to him. And Severus knew the pain and self-loathing of what he was doing was just the beginning of the ultimate betrayal he was forced to commit in the very near future. Once this dreaded task was done and Severus was making his escape with Draco, Severus was sure he was going to come apart at the seams and never be the same again.
"Wait…wait…wait… Once I complete my task, once we escape the castle together and Harry learns of this, if he sees us going together… What if… He could…"
Draco was stumbling over his words, unable to speak, and Severus hoped to Merlin that what Draco was trying to say wouldn't happen, that Harry wouldn't resort to cutting himself. Severus had a lot of faith in Remus in being there to prevent anything drastic such as that. Severus had to believe that. He couldn't let himself go down that dark road in his mind, because then it would sap out all of his strength to go through with everything.
Giving up on what he was trying to say, Draco bowed his head with grief for Harry. Severus was touched at how much his godson still cared for Harry, even after all of the fights they had since the summer… It was clear that Draco had only been pushing Harry away for his own safety.
But Severus could not show that.
He sneered at Draco instead, his expression cold and filled with disgust as he spoke, "What do you care if Potter hurts himself? I thought you were a Death Eater, Draco, isn't that what you've wanted? It would make Potter weaker for the Dark Lord to kill. Don't let me catch you speaking like that again, you're supposed to want Potter dead!"
Draco stepped even further from Severus, his hands shaking, his face growing paler. Severus knew Draco was having trouble recognizing his godfather in him as he spoke.
Severus stepped forward, menacingly closing the distance between them again. His black robes billowed around him, adding the effect of Severus being dark and dangerous. "Now, tell me how much time we have left. The Dark Lord is waiting for you. I am waiting for you, we have to be ready!"
Now Draco's whole body was shaking. His face went from pale to gray as he stuttered out, "It's having problems… But it'll be fixed… Just a few more months… Just before school ends… I'll have it fixed and ready…"
A few more months left with Remus and Harry… Severus thought with despair.
"Good…an estimation…that's all I wanted to know… When you know for sure, inform me right away. And next time, we'll discuss where you're carrying out the plan. Now get to your dormitory," Severus ordered.
Draco glared at Severus, the fear finally fading away to defiance again. He stepped around Severus to get to the stairs.
Severus turned towards him. "And Draco, not a word to anyone about our conversation tonight. Not to your friends and especially not to Potter or I'll be sure to have the Dark Lord know of your betrayal… He could either kill you or shorten your dead-line, now you wouldn't want either of those things, wouldn't you?"
Draco only glared at him in return, not saying a word to Severus' obvious threat as he stormed down the stairs.
When Severus was sure Draco was far gone, he pulled out the Marauder's Map, lighting up the tip of his wand so he could watch Draco's dot travel down to the Slytherin dormitory.
Guilt of what he had just done to Draco was pulsating through Severus, but it had to be done and it worked. He now knew where Draco was working on the task, he had an estimation of the time he and Albus had left. It wasn't much to go on, but it was something… The very first real piece of information Draco had finally admitted to Severus, and he also finally showed him his dark mark. This was only the beginning of Draco revealing his plans to Severus, a crack in that stubborn boy's steel wall.
Once Draco's dot finally reached the dungeons, Severus couldn't help but move his focus to Harry's dot in his dormitory inside Gryffindor tower. He was safely sleeping in bed and Severus was relieved at that. There was no chance of Harry overhearing the conversation between him and Draco with that invisibility cloak.
Draco's fears for Harry losing control on his cutting once he would find out Severus' supposedly true intentions echoed in Severus' head and he pushed away the rising panic he began to feel over it.
Remus will be there for him… Severus kept repeating that to himself over and over. He's not going to be alone, they'll get through it together. It'll make them stronger to fight the darkness….
His eyes then traveled to the Defense wing, finding Remus' dot in his quarters. It looked like Remus had grown tired of waiting for Severus in his office and had gone to bed. Severus felt regret at making him wait so long, but he had one more thing to do until the night was finally over and he could join Remus in bed. He had to go to Albus' office and tell him about his small breakthrough with Draco. He moved his gaze to the headmaster's tower, finding Albus in his office. Severus wondered what the headmaster was doing up so late, did he just arrive back at the castle? Severus didn't ponder it for long, Albus was finally here. Severus closed up the map and made his way to the headmaster's office.
.
.
Severus found the headmaster at his desk, looking over some parchment and looking very exhausted.
"I see that you're back." Severus greeted. "Any chance of you finally telling me about these secret missions?"
"I have another mission to prepare for in the early morning."
Severus rolled his eyes at Albus invading his question.
"Albus, what are these missions? You look exhausted."
"Nothing you should be concerning yourself with at the moment, Severus, you know that. Now, what can I do for you at this late hour?"
Severus huffed with annoyance at the headmaster's stubbornness, but still told the headmaster everything that had just transpired between him and Draco.
"My plan worked, of course. Draco now believes that I am truly on the Dark Lord's side, it got him to open up a bit and he told me an estimation of him being ready to perform the task. He's been in the Room of Requirement this whole time fixing it…"
As soon as that word left his mouth, Severus suddenly remembered that day on the beach when he and Harry were talking about him following Draco into Borgin and Burkes. Harry had said to Severus… "Then why would Draco give Narcissa and their guard the slip? That seems like a pretty big risk, doesn't it? He had to have planned all of that. To meet Greyback like that, to use him as a henchman to bully Borgin into agreeing to fix whatever he wanted broken. And perhaps Narcissa knew about it. Maybe...she'd helped Draco escape the guards. And if she did know...then this all has to do with the task. Perhaps, Voldemort had decided not to wait to mark Draco after he's completed it. Maybe, he'd decided to do it early and the task is really just his first test as a new Death Eater!"
That theory Harry had, Severus had tossed it aside, telling him that day to drop it. Harry had then brought it up again after the accident with Katie Bell, and Severus told him to let it go as well. But of course, Harry's theory had been right all along and the dark mark on Draco's arm proved it. Severus had never really doubted Harry, he knew it had potential despite the flaws in it, but he didn't ponder on it. He didn't want to encourage Harry into delving too deep on the Draco situation.
Severus thought back to Harry's explanation of how he overheard Draco arguing with Borgin into fixing something. Could that object be what Draco has been doing in the Room of Requirement? At first, like Harry, Severus thought it was the necklace that Draco was trying to get fixed, the cursed necklace that was touched by Katie Bell. And tonight, the way Draco spoke about what he was doing in the Room of Requirement, it sounded like he was still trying to fix something, so there was no way it could still be the necklace. It was confiscated… This new theory…it ruled out poisonous potions as well, making the idea of a weapon more likely.
Severus realized he wouldn't really know if this was all true unless he got confirmation from Borgin himself. It was an urgent task he suddenly had to do, based on what Borgin decided to reveal, then Severus could figure out what Draco was doing tonight. There was no time to waste. And he sighed with annoyance at the longer night ahead of him. He wanted nothing more than to just go back to Remus in bed and hold him close.
"Albus, Draco is fixing something! A weapon, most likely, something he could kill you with!"
"Severus, how?"
"Before he got taken by Greyback, Harry overheard a conversation in Borgin and Burkes shop. It was about Draco wanting something fixed… At first I thought it was the necklace, but now after tonight… Draco spoke as if he was still working on it. Borgin knows what it is! He knows the plan!"
"Then you must go down there now and retrieve that information from Borgin as soon as possible, Severus, remember what I wrote to you this morning."
"Time is of the essence," Severus said with urgency. "Albus… Draco has the dark mark, I saw it. If this task is not carried out, he's certainly dead and so are his parents."
"All the more reason for you to learn of his task and start preparing to take over it when the time comes, Severus. It's a good breakthrough. I'm very proud of you, I knew you could figure this out with just a little push."
Severus scowled at that, but Albus only continued…
"We can't have Draco be the one to kill me, it has to be you."
"I know!" Severus snapped. "I know, Albus! Fuck, I just made Draco believe that I was truly on the Dark Lord's side. He knows that I'm going to betray Harry, who he still cares very much for by the way, and I had to threaten him to keep quiet about it! Don't you think that I'm trying without you pushing me?"
Albus didn't reply, allowing Severus' voice to bounce off the walls in the circular office.
"I don't want to do this, but I am… Albus…please this isn't going to be the last time I will ask you to reconsider, I can still turn everything around. We can figure something else out."
"You're dismissed, Severus, go on, you have a journey ahead of you before you retire to bed."
Severus felt red-hot anger and frustration at the headmaster and of the way he spoke so nonchalantly, as if Severus was nothing more than a disobedient school boy in detention. He felt himself shaking, felt the words he wanted to say rumble inside him and he wanted nothing more than to just punch that look off of Albus' face. No wands, just fists… Instead Severus forced himself to turn around and leave the office, making sure to slam the door behind him as hard as he could, managing to shake the office enough to cause a few portraits to fall off the wall.
.
.
Severus Apparated just in front of the dingy-looking shop. He wasn't surprised to see that it wasn't touched by the war like so many of the shops in Diagon Alley. In fact, all of Knockturn Alley seemed to be thriving, not a boarded up window in sight. He didn't bother knocking, he waved a hand over it, reading the warding spells. They were simple and easy to cast away, allowing him to open the door with a simple Alohomora. He would've thought that Borgin would put more care into warding his shop at night, considering the objects he carried and the dangerous war they were currently in…but then, he was in good standing with the Dark Lord. He would, of course, have nothing to worry about, Severus thought with disgust. Well, that wasn't going to help him tonight….
As soon as Severus stepped inside, he found the ugly warlock at his desk in the back of the shop. His reading glasses were on his oily head as he closely examined an object under a single flickering candle light…the only light in the room. Severus silently walked towards him, sensing the bad energy permeating off of every object, making him inwardly shiver.
Borgin didn't look up, but his voice carried throughout the room, oily and rasping. "Ahh… Severus Snape… A pleasant surprise to find someone as great as you in my shop, what can I be of service for you at this late hour?"
Severus turned and on a shelf just at his eye level was a very old and creepy looking child's toy. A monkey with a wind up key in its back, rusted cymbals were attached to its hands. Its beady eyes and painted-on white-tooth smile seemed to stare into Severus' very soul.
"I would step far away from that if I were you, nasty little object that one is, fascinating too. Could kill an entire household in just under two hours. I wouldn't wish it on my most terrible enemies." Borgin laughed at his own words.
Severus glared at Borgin, not rising to the bait of him scaring Severus out of his shop.
"Draco Malfoy came into your shop in August. What did you two talk about?"
Borgin stopped laughing at that. He fixed his beady stare at Severus, studying him, wondering what he was after.
Then he slowly fixed his face into a twisted smile that made Severus' wand hand shake with a mixture of sick disgust and rage.
"Ahh, Draco Malfoy…" The twisted warlock sneered in an interested voice that meant something so sick, Severus had to instantly control himself from lashing out for using that tone while saying his godson's name. "I haven't seen that little snake in a long time… Not since he was a young fresh little hatchling just starting at Hogwarts."
And there went all of Severus' self control, he was seeing red. Before he knew it he had the vile man pinned against the wall before he could speak anymore about his godson that way. He stuck his wand deep into the man's neck, until fear bloomed in his dark filmy eyes.
"I know you're lying, Borgin," Severus said in a low and deadly voice. He pressed the wand harder into the man's jugular "Tell me every detail of that conversation or you're going to find yourself at the mercy of my wand, now you won't want that do you, Borgin?"
"No, I can't… The werewolf… The Malfoy brat said I couldn't or he'll sic the werewolf on me! I can't bear to become one of those disgusting creatures! I'd rather be dead!" The last word echoed in the tiny shop, along with Borgin's sniveling cries and painful gasps for air.
"And what is so wrong with being a werewolf, Borgin? I think you would be better off then you are now… You wasteful, pathetic excuse for a wizard…" Severus sneered, causing the man to blanche with fear.
"I mmmustn't!" Borgin sputtered, spraying Severus with spittle.
As disgusted as he was, Severus didn't flinch, he only continued to fix Borgin with his most dangerous and coldest glare.
"Borgin, do you know why I'm the Dark Lord's most trusted, most dangerous and cunning Death Eater?"
Borgin couldn't respond, he was gasping in fear. Beads of sweat were pouring down his face.
"I am a master of Legilimency. Do you know what that entails, Borgin?"
Severus didn't give the old warlock time to answer. He dug his wand deeper into his neck. Borgin's eyes were now bulging.
"I can make you relive your worst fears… Imagine yourself getting bit by Fenrir Greyback over and over… I can also make it seem so very real, that you can even feel the pain, as if it were really happening… Over and over and over again."
Severus instantly made eye contact, creating the image, throwing in everything he had, the fear and pain Borgin would feel if he had really gotten bit by Fenrir Greyback and forced it into his mind. The warlock gasped out, Severus could smell the overpowering stench and piss. The blasted wretch had pissed himself!
Severus then ended the connection, letting go of Borgin who slid to the floor in his own mess. Severus curled his lip with disgust.
"Do I need to remind you again of who I am, Borgin, or are you going to tell me the conversation? You know I can just do it by force."
"You're the Dark Lord's most trusted servant…" Borgin whimper.
"Exactly, and if you answer no to me again, then you are answering no to him, and we wouldn't want him to find out about this, would we?" Severus sneered. "He can do worse than what I've done to your sniveling hide tonight!"
Borgin started sputtering everything out, but Severus could barely understand him. He rolled his eyes with impatience and disgust and levitated the man against the wall again, forcing eye contact with him and said, "Legilimens!"
A vanishing cabinet, a secret passageway for the Death Eaters to break into Hogwarts. They planned to walk with Draco to Albus' office for protection and to make sure he got the job done. It was a dangerous plan and also brilliant. He was a bit surprised that Draco had been able to think of this. Admiring his godson, Severus finally ended the connection and let Borgin drop to the floor in his own mess again.
He then walked through the shop, searching, until he found it. He opened the door, waving his wand over it. It was broken. The passageway between the two cabinets was deadly, killing anything that went through, but Severus could sense what Draco had been doing with it, it wasn't very long until it would be fixed, but that wouldn't do. Severus wanted more time…needed more time. He casted a curse on the cabinet, to remain broken until June thirtieth, the longest Albus could go with that curse in his hand spreading throughout his entire body.
Now, they had a date. And knowing his deadline just made it a bit easier on Severus having to lose his family, made him want to spend the remaining days in their company and not waste a single second.
Severus then went back to Borgin, kneeling down, carefully avoiding the piss. "I wasn't here, Borgin. This conversation between me and you, never happened. Do you understand?"
The man only whimpered and curled into a fetal position. Severus left him there in his filth and Apparated back to Hogwarts.
.
.
The first thing Severus did was return to Albus' office to tell him everything that had happened but to his frustration and disappointment, the headmaster had already set out on his new mission.
Severus cursed out loud in the empty office before stalking out with his robes billowing around him. The headmaster knew where Severus had gone and would be coming back with important information, the audacity for him to just leave! Albus couldn't wait for one bloody hour?!
Fuck this, I'm going to bed! Severus decided as he made his way to Remus' quarters.
The first thing Severus did when he finally arrived at Remus' quarters was hop into the shower. He had begun to feel dirty, his skin itchy, Borgin's spittle on his face feeling like grime… Using Remus' shampoo and soap, Severus washed it all away under scathing hot water, imagining the Death Eater version of himself washing away and down the drain… If only he could just cast the role away as easily as that and never have to wear it again…leave it in the sewage and waste where it belonged….
He then turned off the water and dressed in pajamas that he had left here the other night.
Severus found Remus fast asleep in bed. The clock on the nightstand read three in the morning as he climbed in. He examined Remus' sleeping face, who looked so stressed and frightened in his sleep. His forehead was wrinkled and his lips set in a deep frown. It was clear to Severus that Remus was trapped in a nightmare, possibly the one he kept having of himself running out of the darkness and towards that mysterious black wolf. Severus wondered why Remus kept having those dreams, wondering if that wolf could really be himself. Severus figured he'll find out once he found out what his Animagus form would be.
Severus gently reached out and smoothed the lines on Remus' forehead, his fingertips trailing down his face, ghosting over those pink lips.
Just only a few more months of this… Severus felt his heart ache.
"Where are you, baby?" Severus whispered to Remus as he pulled him closer, leaving a lingering kiss on his head, feeling the soft golden strands of his hair tickling Severus' face as he inhaled Remus' sweet scent. A few traitorous tears started to slide down Severus' cheeks and he quickly wiped them away, just in case Remus woke up and saw them.
And even though it was very late at night, Severus pointed his wand to his chest, one arm was still holding Remus close against him.
"Amato Animo Animato Animagus," Severus whispered, but of course it didn't work.
There was no second heartbeat, as the incantation was only supposed to be casted during sunrise and sunset. He would have to try again in a couple of hours. Dawn wasn't far off now.
Why the bloody fuck is it taking so long? It has been weeks! Severus really thought that by now there would be a bit of progress. He only had about four months left to complete this most difficult step. He didn't have a lot of time left and Severus was starting to fear that Remus would never get the chance to know what Severus had done for him.
Maybe it was for the best, Severus thought as he gazed down at Remus asleep in his arms, the moonlight washing over him. He was suddenly seeing the brighter side of his problem. If Remus never found out about Severus being an animagus, then Severus could use his animagus form to watch over him and Harry after the task was done and no one would ever know it was him.
Severus sighed with defeat and placed his wand on the night table besides Remus' own.
Remus stirred beside him, Severus quickly ran a hand over his face again, just in case there were any of his traitorous tears left.
"Severus?" Remus mumbled, his eyes still closed, lost somewhere between sleeping and waking.
"I'm here, wolf," Severus whispered, placing a few kisses on his temple.
Remus sighed, "What kept you so long?"
"Draco took a very long time coming out of the room."
"Did you get what you were searching for from him?"
"Yes, I did…" Severus whispered, burrowing his nose into Remus' hair. The scent of him, the feel of him in his arms, his hair so soft against Severus' skin… Severus tried to center himself on that, trying to combat the guilt and sick feeling in the pit of his stomach for what he had done to Draco. His godson had seemed so betrayed tonight by what Severus had said to him, done to him. He wondered what was going on in Draco's head right now. Severus doubted he was sleeping, especially the way he looked at Severus.
And at the thought of his godson thinking that he never really truly knew Severus all along, feeling as if he lost his godfather tonight, feeling trapped in the Dark Lord's circle, feeling hopelessly caught in a task that was only a death sentence, Severus felt his eyes warm and sting again, threatening more tears.
Severus never lost control of his emotions. He was always so very careful with keeping his mask up, playing two sides of the war. But Remus, he was Severus' Achilles heel. When Severus was around Remus, he couldn't hold up his Death Eater facade, couldn't control his emotions from spilling out. He always found himself so vulnerable around Remus… Severus tried to fight against it… This wouldn't do, he thought. He would have to work on this, he couldn't have Remus figuring him out right after the task was complete, even though a small part of Severus wanted to allow it. He wiped the few tears away that had managed to slip down his cheeks.
"Any chance you're going to tell me?" Remus mumbled.
Severus couldn't answer, his throat was closing up, feeling the threat of a sob approaching. Severus took silent deep breaths, burying his face into the crook of Remus' neck. Pressing a series of soft kisses on his warm skin, focusing on only this suddenly very important task until the gut-wrenching need to sob passed away.
"Remus?" Severus finally asked, pulling himself away a bit. "Are you still awake?"
"Mmmhmm," Remus answered.
"Tell me about the Murtlap escaping in your class," Severus whispered.
He felt more than heard Remus sighing with defeat, and Severus hated that he couldn't answer him, disappointing him. Severus was lucky Remus was so patient with him and the obvious secrets between him, Albus and Draco. But how long would that quiet patience last? How long could Remus be understanding with him until he broke, becoming fed up with Severus keeping things from him?
Severus shifted himself and Remus wrapped his arms around him, allowing Severus to rest his head on Remus' bare chest. This time, it was Severus that was the one being held, the one being covered in gentle warm and comforting kisses as if Remus knew that Severus wasn't okay, and that there was no point in asking about it because of course Severus couldn't talk about it. Remus began to tell his story with a sleepy voice, his voice rumbling and vibrating from his chest, luring Severus into sleep.
.
.
It was a Friday mental health check dinner. Harry had answered all of Severus' questions with one worded answers and refused to make any more conversation than that, leaving Severus to roll his eyes and eat the rest of his dinner in silence, listening to Remus and Harry talk about the upcoming Quidditch match...
"I think we can beat Hufflepuff, I hate to say this, but with Dean Thomas and Ginny together as chasers I really think we have a chance."
"I think so too, Harry. I've been down to the stands during your last practice, you've really pulled that team together… Ron, he's really good," Remus said.
"Yeah, except on game days," Harry groaned.
"Last game he did manage to pull through."
"Yeah, I'm really hoping he can do it again."
Once Remus stood up, taking their empty plates to the sink, Severus tossed the map in front of Harry.
Harry turned to Severus, his face filled with shock. "You're giving it back to me?"
Severus nodded once, his voice stern as he replied, "Just don't let me catch you looking at it during meal times again or during lessons. I know you're worried for Draco, I am too, but I've told you so many times already that I'm keeping a close eye on him. You don't need to be glued to the map twenty-four seven."
Harry nodded, "Yes, sir." He placed his wand tip to the map, meaning to open it.
"Don't open it right now!" Severus scolded. "Don't make me regret giving it back to you!"
Harry slammed the map back down on the table with an annoyed look. "You know, you didn't have to be so bloody cold to me when you took it from me!" he snapped.
Remus looked over his shoulder from his position at the sink, catching Severus' eye.
Without Remus having to voice it out loud, Severus knew his wolf was telling him to keep his temper in check and to apologize to Harry.
Severus switched his gaze back to Harry who was glaring at him, waiting for him to answer back, ready to argue.
"I apologize for that, Harry. I wasn't having the best days and I took it out on you," Severus said.
He very much wanted to scold Harry for his insolent attitude that day and how he carried it through Friday and dinner, but he didn't want to waste any time on arguing. Time was short, they only had until June thirtieth and Severus was the only one who knew about it. It was up to him to make sure that every moment they had left wasn't wasted on petty arguments like this.
And he was willing to let go of his pride, willing to see it from Harry's point of view and realize how wrong he was to treat Harry so coldly that day without a signal to show him that he was only acting… Of course Harry was going to react that way, how was he supposed to know if Severus had meant to treat him that way or not? Severus was positive that was the reason why Remus wanted him to be the better person and apologize.
"Whoa," Harry said, dumbfounded for a moment from Severus' easy apology. "You're apologizing to me just like that? No lecture first on me being disrespectful?"
Severus blinked, "Do you want one?"
Harry quickly shook his head.
Once the dishes were magically washed on their own, Remus sent the rest of the dinner things away, leaving everything spotless with a complicated wave of his wand.
"Try to forgive him, cub, Severus was just really worried for me that day as well."
"Oh right, the full-moon…" Harry took a deep breath. "It's okay, dad, I'm sorry for being disrespectful as well. I know you just wanted me to eat my breakfast that morning."
"All is forgiven, Harry, but I just want you to answer me this… During the first Apparition lesson, what did you overhear from Draco that has gotten you obsessed over the map?"
Harry frowned at the question.
Remus stepped to Severus' side. "Answer him, cub."
And seeing that he was outnumbered and back into a corner, Harry told them everything about Crabbe and Goyle pestering Draco about when his task would be ready and how Draco wouldn't give them an answer and kept telling them to drop it.
"I don't even think Crabbe and Goyle know what Draco is doing. He's keeping them as lookouts, and I think it's linked to him disappearing off of the map, that's why I'm constantly watching him. I'm trying to figure out exactly where he's going or doing to make him disappear. And if he has lookouts, that means Draco has to still be in the castle when he goes to work on whatever he is trying to get fixed…"
"Harry," Severus said with warning.
"I know, stay away from him!" Harry snapped.
"Hey, no need to bite Severus' head off now," Remus said.
Harry scowled, crossing his arms.
Remus frowned, "Look, cub, you're doing a good job on watching Draco, but please remember what you've promised me when I gave you the idea of watching Draco on the map. That you won't get obsessed with it and forget everything else and…"
"And if I do see something suspicious, don't do anything without telling you about it first…" Harry groaned.
"Exactly," Remus said.
"And if we see you breaking any of those rules, if I see you becoming overly obsessive again, especially during meal times, I'm taking the map away and this time I won't give it back or even bother apologizing!" Severus added.
Thank you for still reading my fanfic! I appreciate all of the likes, follows, reviews, everything! Next update will hopefully be before mid-august!
Review Responses:
Lucy Elizabeth Dawson: Thanks! =)
LightCameraPotter: Thank you so much for your long beautiful review, especially since no one really does reviews like that anymore, and I understand cus when you're reading, it's easy to not want to have to stop and think and review haha. So I always appreciate it when I get reviews like that. Thank you for your thoughts on how I've written my characters, it's really hard sometimes and I'm glad you appreciate it and love it enough to actually review haha. And yes when the time comes for Severus to kill Albus, I know I'm going to be a mess while writing it and everyone is going to be a mess while reading it. =)
CityGirl7768: Thank you for your review! =)