Heya, guys! I hope you're having a nice day today. It's been a sunny day where I live, and I am just so happy about it, considering some weeks ago it was snowing!

Just-kiwi, that is a great question! I am not a cat owner, so I didn't think of all the technicalities involved in Rose having Millie, so my excuses that I didn't address that in the story.

Luvfreakysyfy, there will be more internal battles to come from Dimitri, so hang on with me, I'll make it worth it

And I'm quite happy that I managed to surprise people with the Dimitri meeting Rose before thing. Sometimes I feel like my writing is predictable, and I'm trying to find ways to make it more exciting and intriguing to read

Irina C, thinking about that, it would have been a cute scene to write. But I promise I'll give Dimitri a nice B-day party in the future :)

And dear Guests, of course he saved Millie, she's adorable. Not even he can ignore that

I think I've been rambling too much, but at last, I thank you all for the kind words! It's nice to see the feedback, as I'm always ready to pick my stories apart and think it's not good enough, but I'm glad to see you all like it! It means so much!

Hope you enjoy the update, and I'll see you on the next one.

Lots of love!

CHAPTER 12 - I'm pregnant

Rose's POV

To my disappointment, Dimitri is the one who gets Ivan's credit card. I mean, you couldn't risk to have a running away hazard walk around with a money source, right?

I start with the art stores and barely restrain myself from buying everything I see. When we get out of there, Dimitri is already carrying three full bags and it's been only half an hour in our shopping trip.

And the more stores I visit, the more bags start to pile up.

"What do you need so many scented candles for?" he finally comments on my irresponsible acquisitions. He may be right, fifteen candles might be a lot, but I am not spending my money, so who cares?

"It's called setting the ambiance, comrade. You wouldn't understand it."

We have left the bags in the car before we entered the last thing on my list: a huge hypermarket. After all, I couldn't waste the chance to buy myself something to eat too.

"Comrade, do you want to carry me around in a shopping cart?"

"Why would I do that? Are you five?"

"No, but I'm tired and I don't want to walk anymore."

"Then maybe we should go back."

I am starting to think he is getting tired of my shopping, but I swear I haven't had so much fun in a long time. And I am outside, for god's sake! So I am not wasting this chance.

"No. Not yet."

"Then walk."

Dimitri's POV

Seeing the second best option to being carried in a shopping cart, she looks at me smiling.

"Would you pretend you don't know me if I'd go ride one of those little car shopping carts?"

"What do you think?" I don't think she'd actually do it, but I must admit that would be a funny sight to see her try to fit into one of those.

"You're no fun, comrade."

Yes, but better boring than sorry.

She takes a normal cart and starts scanning the isles.

And she gets lost. Or rather, I lose sight of her as she asks me to get something off a high shelf. God dammit! She promised me she won't run away, but here she is. I cannot find her. And this market has so many isles!

That doesn't stop me from searching each and every one of them, in the hopes I find her. Of course, I always kept an eye toward the exit, and I never saw her head that way, so it must mean she is hiding somewhere. But I am not in for playing this game.

I've reached the stuffed animals' section when the radio voice says in the store:

"Dimitri? Dimitri Belikov? Can you please come to checkout number 3? There is someone who is looking for you."

I get there in less than a minute and see her with a full cart. I cannot suppress my smile.

"So let me get this straight. You choose that cart over running away?"

She pouts slightly. "You thought I ran away?" I shrug. "Can no one trust me anymore?"

"With your criminal record?"

She rolls her eyes and pushes the cart in line.

We start getting the products out of the cart, and I cannot even keep count of the unhealthy stuff she took. But there are about twenty packs of popcorn and I cannot stop my comment from coming out.

"Do you plan a movie party?"

"Aham. You're invited if you want to. You can even try to impress me with a western." she takes the packages from my hand. "But the popcorn is mine, comrade. All of it."

Next in line comes a woman carrying a baby in a sling. Rose insists that she goes ahead of us, and because the woman is now in front of us, her baby can look at us over her mother's shoulder.

Rose starts playing peek-a-boo with the baby, making the little one chuckle.

She looks at me smiling. "Isn't she sweet?"

"Yes, she is. She reminds me a lot of Vika."

My answer surprises her. "Who is Vika?"

I didn't realize I said that out loud.

"My sister."

"You have a sister?"

"Three, actually." I don't know what thought passed through her head, but she smiles. "What?"

"Nothing." when I pin her with my stare, she gives in, smiling a little more. "I just had this silly little thought of you four braiding each other's hair." I smile too, but her mood goes down. "I bet it was nice to have someone to grow up with."

"It was." And not only them, but Ivan too.

She gets busy with arranging the stuff on the conveyor belt and I let the subject pass. I wouldn't want to bring up the fact that she had a brother she never met.

When we get out of the hypermarket, each of us is carrying three bags of stuff, and I think that's more than enough. But on our way to the car, she spots another boutique on the street, and she wants to visit that too.

But I keep insisting we won't do it.

"Come on, please. Just one more store."

"We don't that the time. We need to go back. It's late."

"Please, comrade?"

"Not going to happen."

She pouts, but she's better off moody than hurt.

Rose's POV

We take some more steps in silence, but I get the feeling that something is wrong. And when I see one more time a figure I've already seen three times in the span of five minutes, my senses light up.

"Dimitri?"

"Yes?"

"I think we're being followed."

"I know."

"You know?"

He nods. "I've seen them around in the store too, but I couldn't know for sure. Now that they're out here, I've got my confirmation."

"That's why you were so vehement about going back."

"Yes. I had a bad feeling about it."

"But I don't get it." It would make sense if it were Strigoi, but it's light outside. Or maybe I am looking for a more complicated reason when there is a simple one available. "Are we going to get robbed? Do you think they have guns?"

I am starting to get agitated, so he gets a hold of my hand to keep me from looking around, even though I see, from the corner of my eye, that one guy is coming toward us now. It's the same guy I noticed earlier!

Did I mention that we're on a street with not so many people around? It's just us and about five or six other people.

"Dimitri, what do we do?"

He stops us and drops all our bags, then makes me look at him.

"Listen to me and do exactly as I say. You take this," he gives me his phone. "And you run. You don't look back. You don't stop until you get back to the car, then you tell Nikolai to take you away from here. If you don't remember how to get to the car, you go hide and call him. He'll come to pick you up wherever you are."

"You're scaring me." The other men that started coming toward us scares me too.

"Listen to me." he shakes me out of my fear. "You don't stop running until you get back to the car, you hear me?"

"What about you? I can stay and help and-"

"No. Never. Don't worry about me. Not even for a second, got it?"

"But- let's go together. Please. There's six of them!" And they are all coming toward us.

It's an eerie scenery. They're not rushing at all. They're taking their time, walking, their eyes pinned on us at all times. Maybe it's a tactic to make us more afraid. And it's working. They're acting like they're sure we have no way out, and what if that's true? We're all alone in this.

"Rose. Not even for a second. You run."

"Please."

"Someone has to slow them down, right?"

He smiles and caresses my cheek. But that smile doesn't assure me of anything! On the contrary, I am even more concerned. Why is he so calm and prepared for such a thing? I mean, I know he has been kicking ass his whole life, but still!

"I can handle this. They're not getting their hands on you, I promise. Now go."

"Oh, god, behind you!"

How the fuck did he get so close so fast? He came out from thin air and he has a knife. And that knife is pointed toward me!

But it's like Dimitri read his mind and while telling me to get down, by lifting his elbow, he manages to stop the first swing of the knife. It's a problem when the man swings it a second time toward me, because, in a rush, Dimitri catches its blade in his palm, just as it was about to make contact with my face. But he doesn't seem too concerned about the wound he just acquired. He's looking at me.

"Rose, run."

"But-"

"Now!"

What else can I do?

I pick myself up and run. It's happening all over again and all I do is run.

But, you know, there are six men against him and Dimitri cannot keep them all in one place, even though he tries.

When one of them decides to run after me, he manages to catch up with me after a minute of running. I do my best to put up a fight and make use of all the sparring classes I ever took, but the fact that I'm swinging my fists against his blade is not beneficial to me. I couldn't manage to make him drop it, and the fist punch I get in my jaw fazes me for a second.

Like so, he manages to get a hold of me, threatening he'll cut my throat if I don't behave, and he drags me back to where Dimitri is fighting with the other five men. Well, the other two, for three are already on the ground, in different stages of pain.

"Stop or the girl gets hurt."

"I'm so sorry." I say when I meet his eyes, but it's not like my apologies can change anything.

Dimitri stops right before sending another guy sleeping, and the tables turn when the men get off the ground and start hitting him back.

"No! Dimitri! Stop this!"

He is now on the ground, and they keep on hitting him, mainly with their feet in the plexus.

I try to rip myself from this man's grip, but his knife at my neck does a good job of keeping me in one place.

"You're hurting him, please, stop!"

When they finally do, as he's wiping the blood off his lip, he smiles and that makes him look like a crazy man, able to do anything. Bad things. Very bad things.

One of them thinks to add one more hit, the end of his foot slamming into Dimitri's stomach once again, making him gasp.

It doesn't matter to me anymore that there's a blade at my throat, I struggle in my captor's grip until I get out of it.

When I'm finally released, I rush to Dimitri and fall to my knees.

"Dimitri…" I try to see his face, touch his ribs, his chest, all at once. He got so many hits!

"Run," he whispers.

"I can't."

"This time, don't get caught."

"No."

I didn't even notice the moment he got up to his feet and disarmed the man that was threatening me earlier.

"Now! Go!"

And I run again. I run like crazy and don't even look where I am going, but I soon find myself banging my fists against the car's window, where Nikolai is, waiting for us.

"Please go help him! Please, please, please!"

I give him directions to where to head, but as Nikolai drives toward that place, we find Dimitri coming our way. It's funny how, despite his disheveled look, he is carrying some of those damned bags, like he just got out of the store and hasn't been in a fight one minute ago.

The car stops and he gets in the backseat, next to me.

I am close to touching him all over again, trying to see if he's as hurt as I think.

"You're okay? Are you alright? Are you feeling fine?" I resume to questioning him instead.

He nods and gives me a reassuring smile, then makes himself busy with looking through a bag for a piece of material to cover the wound on his hand.

"Who were those people?" Nikolai voices my curiosity.

"I don't know yet. Let's just go back for now. We need to get her somewhere safe."

"But you… your hand-"

"I'll be alright. Don't worry about me."

I know that no matter how much I'd protest, we would still be going back to the house and not to a hospital, even though I'm sure that needs stitches.

I've tried to keep my shit together for the most of the ride back, only my insistent glances thrown his way would give my worry away, but he was always there to assure me he was fine.

And everything is fine until we get out of the car at the gates and start walking toward the house.

Because I hear an alarm going off, about two minutes into our little walk.

"What's that?" Dimitri and Nikolai are already alert and their eyes all over the place kind of scare me. "What's happening?"

"Nikolai, take her inside the house. Make sure she doesn't get out. You know the protocol."

"What protocol?"

"Princess, let's go."

Nikolai gets a hold of my hand and tries to pull me away.

"No! What is happening?"

"Rose, if you don't want to die by a Strigoi's hand, please go," Dimitri informs me as he gets his stake out.

"I… Strigoi?" of course, they would be around, the sun has set while we were driving back, but we're safe as long as we're inside these walls. The house has a ward.

He puts a stake in my hand and holds it tight. "Only use it if you have to, alright? Don't play the hero."

I nod and Nikolai and I start running toward the house.

But the thing eventually happens. God knows how many of them are around, spawned from fucking hell, because every guardian around is fighting a Strigoi or more, but one had to attack us too, right?

In order for him to get a hold of me, he targets Nikolai first because he acts like my human shield.

"Princess, run!"

My heart beats in my ears, and all my instincts tell me to do what I'm told. But that's what I've done every single time and it ended badly. Dimitri got hurt earlier because I ran! I might have not been training properly in a couple of years, but I can bet on muscle memory, can't I?

Instead of running, this time I throw myself at the Strigoi, attaching myself to his back, and I try to put my stake through his chest, into his heart.

My scheme doesn't work as I wanted it to, but at least I managed to surprise him enough for him to let go of Nikolai. The only bad thing is that when he gets hit by my stake, he stumbles backward and we both fall to the ground. And I am the safety cushion. This dude is heavy as shit, leaving me breathless for a couple of seconds.

It doesn't take too long for Nikolai to pull him off me and to get his stake through his heart.

"Nice job, Princess," he smiles at me while helping me up to my feet. "Now let's get you to safety."

Nikolai stays with me in my room the whole time and doesn't let me look out the window. He is the one doing that, and it only adds to my worry about the whole situation.

"How did Strigoi enter the premise?" I exchange my worrying for talking, to take my mind off what could be happening outside. "I thought Zeklos had wards up."

"He did. I guess someone took them off."

"How? Strigoi cannot come close to them, or else they'll be fried."

"You see, humans can."

"Humans? Like… like the ones that attacked us today?" I never thought that attack could be tied to fucking Strigoi.

"Yes. And I think we led them here one way or another. I was careful, but still… I think we've been followed."

I'd tell him not to blame himself for it, but I doubt my words would have any effect on him.

I don't know how much time passes, but at last, another alarm sounds.

"What does that mean?" I pray it's not a bad thing.

"That it's over. That they secured the premise. Well, as much as it was possible, without the wards."

"Can we go out now?"

"Yes. Let's go downstairs."

We head into the living room, where most people are. I meet Lissa and Evette and some of the other maids. Guardians are coming from outside, all bloodied up, but there's no Dimitri.

I ask a couple of people about him, and they all tell me they had seen him at some point, but in the heat of the fight, they lost sight of him.

Pavel comes inside, with the help of a peer, and he is more than ruffled up. There is a gushing wound on his torso, and I do my best to keep myself out of the way of the people that can actually help, but I still go to him to make sure he'll be alright.

He gives me a sly smile. "This won't kill me, Princess," he says before the improvised stretcher gets lifted, for him to be taken to a car and to get proper medical care.

When guardians come inside with the dead ones, that's when the worst of my worries starts to catch contour. From what it seems, only two of them lost their lives, but it's still a loss. Serena and Simon were good people.

Only one person is still missing from the count, and this uneasy feeling grows inside me and I want to cry, but I do my best not to. I will keep myself together until I see it. Until I see his body. I refuse to believe it happened.

I keep my worry to myself and I keep company to Lissa, who is a little shaken up too, as the guardians talk plans about regrouping and leaving the house for the night.

And it finally happens. He enters the house at a rushed pace, and I get up from my place, starting to run his way. I don't think much when I put my arms around his neck and hug him tight.

"You're safe! You're alright!"

Moments later, he embraces me back, holding me just as tight.

"Did you doubt me?"

Pulling away from his embrace, now that the happiness of his safely return has dimmed down, I'm feeling a little ashamed of my outburst and I don't know what to say anymore. I mean, everyone is here and saw what I did, and I feel so stupid for reacting like that.

I guess I could play pretend it was a spur-of-the-moment thing and nothing more important. Because it isn't, right? I would have done the same for anyone else if he or she was missing.

Analyzing him, I see that even though he took his time coming, he didn't spend it on getting cleaned up or mending his wounds. A scratch here, a bruise forming there…

But he seems more preoccupied with me. He takes my hands in his and that's the first time I observe the blood on them.

"Is this yours?"

"No, that's some Strigoi's blood," Nikolai intervenes. "Our Princess knows how to kick ass."

Nikolai's comment gets a smile out of him, but he soon goes back into business mode, talking with the other guardians and coming to the conclusion that we have to leave the house as soon as possible. With the wards down, any opportunist Strigoi could come around and we wouldn't be able to fight them off all night long. God knows if any of them are already on their way, in the wish to aid their killed friends.

The decision being made, we all get in cars and start spreading around. It would be a bad idea for us all to go into the same place, and as I am deemed as the most important one around here, I get four guardians and get sent to a hotel.

It takes us an hour's drive to get there and the whole time, I try to make sure that the ones that are accompanying me are alright, and they keep on assuring me they are.

Dimitri takes me to my room and when he's the only one getting inside with me, I take my chance to insist tremendously for him to let me take care of his cut. My other three guardians had the time to get their wounds mended a little at the house, but Dimitri didn't.

First thing, I help him get the blood off his face.

I find it a very hard task to do, as I'm supposed to look at his face, but I cannot look him in the eyes. As well, I'm keeping silent, but he doesn't seem to want to do that too.

"Does that hurt?"

"Huh? What?"

He touches my chin, on the side and I flinch. I didn't even notice the hit I got started to bruise.

To my reaction, I see the pain in his eyes.

"Did he hit you somewhere else?"

"No. I'm fine. I um… I'll let you wash up. Your hand could get worse otherwise."

I get out of the bathroom as fast as I possibly can. The way he was looking at me, god, I don't know, it did silly things to my head and I need a break from that.

When he gets out of the bathroom too, I am with my back to the door, while preparing a bunch of bandages that I took from the first aid kit in the room.

He walks toward me and I feel it when he stops behind me. He's so close.

"You worried for me."

I turn around and I am more than outraged by his affirmation, so I show it to him.

"No, I wasn't. I was just…"

"Just?"

"You missed for so long, and I thought you… you're an idiot. I bet you wanted to play the hero and go all by yourself to see if there weren't any other Strigoi around. All by yourself! Just like you did with those guys earlier in the day! Look what that got you!" He's all beaten up!

"Idiot or not, you worried for me."

I could say the truth and admit that I worried sick for him, but I know that if I do, I'd be admitting too much. We're supposed to hate each other, right?

"You know, if you die, Ivan won't have his friend and it would be my fault. Because you died while protecting me. He would be a menace of a husband because of that."

At my shitty answer, he laughs. "Yeah, sure."

"I mean it. Stop that."

To show my outrage, I even punch him, hoping it delivers my point.

"Oh!" he takes a step back, and brings his hand up to his chest, where I've just kicked him.

I hurt him! I might have hit right where he received a hit earlier and oh, I made it worse!

"Oh my God! I'm so sorry. I didn't know you got hurt there. Does it hurt badly? I'm so sorry."

But the pain on his face turns into a smile. What the fuck does that mean? Is he some kind of masochist?

"And you say you don't care, huh?"

"You little fucker! Don't you play with me like that! Earlier I thought you- you bastard! You missed for so long and- ugh! I hate you!"

This time I want it to hurt. I hope I hit the same spots he already got hit into. And I hit with purpose. And force. But he doesn't move.

"Get out of my way, or I swear to God-"

Instead of walking away, he comes closer, so I continue to slam my fists into his chest.

From how fast I'm speaking, I start hiccupping. And the fact that I'm crying doesn't help either.

"D- do- not dare do th-is a- again! I fu- fu- fuck-ing hate yo- you! And stop la- laugh- ing! I am ma- mad at you!"

"I'm sorry. But you must agree that you sound funny."

"I- do- don't." I slap his hand away when he reaches for me. "I'm ma- ma- mad- at- yo- you!"

He smiles. "Let's find you a glass of water, then you can continue to be mad at me, okay?"

I let him take me to the little salon attached to the humongous bedroom of the suite, and I sit on a chair eyeing the glass on the table. If he thought the water would help, it only managed to get me even madder. I tried drinking but I hiccupped and ended up spilling water on myself so I'm not trying to drink again.

"Yo- you're a- li- little ba- bas- stard!" I wipe my tears so hard that my eyes and cheeks hurt. I hated crying in front of him that day and look at me doing it again!

"Rose?"

"Wha- what?!"

"I'm pregnant."

I instantly get up to my feet.

"What? But how… you… who is the fath-" I finally get what he said when I see him smiling. "Dimitri! You little bastard!"

"But it worked, right? You're not hiccupping anymore."

I must appreciate his ingenuity, but that will not make me forgive him faster. I'm still mad. So mad. And now that I can finally string words appropriately, nothing stops me from scolding him.

"Where were you for so long? I hope you have a good reason for that. In fact, I don't care. Just get out of my face before I hit you again."

He stops me when I want to get past him.

"I'll take my chances."

He takes me in his embrace and I cannot protest. I needed the comforting.

"I'm sorry for worrying you and for scaring you now. I acted like an idiot. More than one time."

"You can say that again."

He chuckles. "You were trying your chances too?"

"Yeah…"

His eyes fall on my bruise, his jaw tightening, then he sighs.

"It doesn't hurt. Not as much as yours do."

"Where else?"

"Nowhere, I promise."

"Let me see your hands."

"Dimitri… it doesn't matter. Yours are much worse."

"The hell it doesn't." He makes me reveal my palms and I have some scratches from when I was on the pavement, fighting with the man with the knife, but they're already looking better. "I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault. You didn't put those guys come and you weren't the one who couldn't even run away properly. You…" I get teary once more. "I thought I would never see you again."

I hug him once more and he starts soothing my hair.

"Hey, don't do that. It's alright. I'm alright. I'm here, aren't I? You won't get rid of me this easily."

I tilt my head and looking at him, I reciprocate his smile.

But then I realize that we're so close. Our lips are so close. On instinct, I get closer. Just a little closer and we would…

What the fuck, Rose?

I pull away from him and give myself a couple of mental slaps to get me back to reality.

"Let's um… take care of that cut on your hand."

He smiles once more, like knowing exactly what I was thinking of. Did he want it too, or was I the only crazy one? Would I have gotten myself a speech about how wrong it is, or…

"Let's go then."

Back in the room, I can't stop my tears from falling as I'm bandaging his hand. That's deep.

"Why are you crying so ardently?"

"You got hurt because of me."

"I'd do it again without a second thought."

"Don't say stupid things, Dimitri. Please, don't." Two people already died today. Did he want to add to the count?

He wipes my tears with his free hand. "But I'm alright. I'm right here. I'm alright. Don't dwell on it."

I put the last patch of sticky tape on the cloth and find myself opening my mouth.

"I um…"

"What happened?"

"Can I ask you something?"

"Anything."

"Could you… can you spend the night here? Even though I know you guys would be outside the room for the rest of the night, I want you in here."

He's a little fazed by my request, but tries not to show it.

"Su- Sure. Even though you don't have to worry about them. They didn't follow us here."

I shrug. "I don't want to be alone."

He nods. "I don't want you to feel unsafe either. If you want me to stay, I'll stay."

We fetch some room service tea for everyone and Dimitri and I linger in the salon after the other guardians have finished their beverages and went back to their posts outside the room.

"I'm sorry about your popcorn," he opens a conversation when the silence between us started to get awkward. Or it started to get like that to me, for I couldn't stop thinking of my silly teenage thoughts from earlier.

Some things flew away from the bags during the fight. Collateral damage.

"It doesn't matter. I'm glad you're fine. I cannot buy another you from the hypermarket." He smiles and I feel like I've said something I shouldn't have. And honestly, what the fuck am I saying? "But I'm glad we got the candles," I try to divert his attention from what I said earlier. "You must admit that if I had some to light up now, they would have made this room look cool."

Ultimately, I go to sleep in the room and leave the sofa for him.

Dimitri's POV

Later the night, she comes into the doorway of the salon and waits. I stayed in there, alternating between dozing off and keeping in touch with others on my phone.

I guess she doesn't see I'm awake because when I speak, she jumps a little.

"Are you going to sit there for the rest of the night?"

"Oh. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to… I woke you up, didn't I? I'll… I'll just…"

She wants to take a step back, but I stop her when I turn on the little lamp on the table.

"Do you need something?"

She stares at her feet, looking uneasy. "No. I just…"

"Tell me. Anything you need. And don't sit there. Come here."

I get up, scoot aside and make some space for her to sit. When she's next to me, I put the afghan over her shoulders, which she welcomes grateful, with a little smile.

But her face crumbles and her eyes get teary when she sees the other side of my face.

"Oh, god."

"Haven't you seen a black eye before?"

"Not… not really. I'm not the one living the badass guardian life, you know? Oh, Gods." She gets closer to me, to get a better look. "It is really black. It hurts, doesn't it?" I shake my head. I've had way worse. "Bullshit. God, I am so sorry."

"I am fine. It's not your fault."

I stop breathing when she gets her fingers on my cheek and then on my cheekbone, under my swollen eye and lightly pats it, her warm fingers feeling nice on my ice-cooled skin. She takes her time inspecting my face, being focused on that task, biting her lip as she traces soft lines on my skin. Her eyes start filling with more tears.

"Why did you do that? When we were out, you stayed and fought with them and-"

"You had to get to a safe place."

"But you-"

"I'm fine, aren't I? Here, in one piece." I have said these words to her a lot, but she's still determined to worry. But history doesn't have to repeat itself.

"But your face is fucked up!"

"It's what I do."

"Yes, but you could at least be somewhat less enthusiastic about getting your ass kicked for me."

"Who says I did? At the end of the day, I was the ass-kicker."

My response rips a smile off her and she rolls her eyes.

"Oh, you."

"Rose?"

"Yeah?"

"Don't worry for me." if this is my attempt to suppress something in her, it is a pathetic attempt. Thinking of the way she hugged me back at the house, I know I should try harder to keep my distance.

"How could I not? If something would have…"

She bites her tongue, stopping herself from saying more. And I shouldn't want to hear more, even though I want to. What would have she done if something would have happened to me?

Instead, I push those thoughts away and change the subject.

"You couldn't sleep anymore?"

"Yeah…"

"Was it a bad dream?"

She shakes her head. "I…"

"What happened? Tell me."

"I um… it's going to sound stupid, but… I feel… I don't know. I don't know how I feel. And I thought that a hug might make it better. Would you hug me?"

No. No. No! God, I shouldn't do it once again tonight. But how can I not?

"Sure. Come here."

I put my arms around her and she lets out a sob.

"Tighter." I comply. "Tighter." I do as I'm told, but she feels so small against me, I fear breaking her in two. "Tighter."

"I'm afraid I'd hurt you."

"You're not. I just…" she bursts into tears as I tighten my arms around her.

"Oh, Rose…"

She lets it all out, at last.

When she pulls away, I reach for the box of tissues and hand it to her. I thought a little too much at what happened earlier and me wiping her tears and everything else? Too much. Too close. This hug was too much too, but what else could I have done?

"This is so embarrassing." She looks down and tries to hide her face into the bundle of tissues as she wipes her tears.

"Do you want a snack?"

I know it's not the best response, not by far, but I don't know what to do, I swear I don't. I don't want her to feel this way and I don't know how to fix it without getting too close once more. She shakes her head.

"There's some Yoo-hoo in the fridge."

"What kind of hotel is this?"

"I kind of asked for it."

"But you hate Yoo-hoo. It has a lot of sugar in it."

"You love it."

"You got it around for me?"

"Kind of." she furrows her eyebrows. "You know, maybe to bribe you into forgiving me for being a jerk?"

She smiles faintly. "Then I'd love some."

We sit in silence as she drinks all that sugar and she watches me from time to time, but only for a split second.

"I was so afraid," she finally confesses. "And not only with the Strigoi."

"I know." I've seen it in her eyes when she realized we were followed. And with the Strigoi, I know it brought back a lot of ugly memories. "And I'm sorry you had to be part of it. I'm sorry you couldn't feel safe out there." that I didn't manage to prevent it all.

"I shouldn't have been afraid. I was trained to-"

"Everybody is afraid."

"Even you?"

"Yes."

"You were afraid of them? Of those people?"

"I was afraid of what might happen to you if I don't stop them."

She looks away. I shouldn't have said that. How stupid can I be?

"You're important for everyone, Rose," I try to mend things, but this time, it's her turn to change the subject.

"I tried to go back to sleep," she explains, "but everything is so silent in there and…" she stops and shakes her head, shivering and wrapping the afghan tighter around herself. "I was wondering…"

"What?"

"I don't want to be alone. In there. And I was wondering if I could…" she sighs. "Can I sleep with you? In here? I mean… close to you? I… I don't want to be alone in that room. I don't want to be alone anywhere."

What am I supposed to say? No?

"If you feel safer with me, alright." She yawns. "But we should probably go to a room with a bed. This couch is aesthetic, but not good for sleeping. Trust me, I tried."

We go inside the room, and after she insists a million times for me not to take the floor, we lie down in bed, both of us face up, staring at the ceiling.

How bad can this turn?

I mean, she even made a joke, trying to lighten up the mood.

"If you kick me in your sleep I'm kicking back, comrade."

It will be alright, wouldn't it? All we have to do is not touch each other and sleep. Easy, right?

Rose's POV

But sleep doesn't come to me.

His breath steadies eventually, and I dare turn my head on my pillow to watch him. The sight of that black eye, god…

I feel myself wanting to cry again, but I remind myself I shouldn't be such a whiny bitch. I've been through this before. But it never gets easier, doesn't it?

Because I feel shitty once again, I feel that urge to get closer to him, to take comfort in his presence. I know it's wrong. I know I shouldn't.

But I do it nonetheless.

Turning to one side, I make myself little against him. I don't even want to touch him, I just want to be closer. I have gotten about two inches closer to his side and I can live with that. The warmth of his body is enough to comfort me.

It's his time to move after that. He lifts his head and he seems to take a look at me first, even though I cannot be sure as my eyes are looking toward our feet. He then pulls up the cover on me and makes sure I am all snuggled up, as my back got uncovered in my movement.

That is alright with me. I don't need more.

But I soon feel the weight of his fingers resting on my shoulder. He then pulls away and doesn't do anything for the span of a long breath in and out.

Something pushes me to move, and tilting my head, I get a little closer to him, getting to touch his torso with my forehead.

This movement of mine prompted him to hold his breath for a minute, and I fear that he might push me away in some way, but a few seconds later, I feel his fingers on me again. The weight of his hand increases slowly, and I thought he would let it rest there. But with a sharp breath in, he pulls it away.

I bet he's thinking "What am I doing?"

I should think about that too.

So I turn around and get away from him.

Around lunch the next day, we get back to the house. It is surprising how fast they took care of everything.

We're all trying to get past this, and in the next days, I do my best not to be a nuisance to anyone around me. Even Evette praises my behavior, which is a first.

But it seems like the universe wants to test me.

Out of nowhere, I find Christian Ozera knocking at our door. As neither Ivan nor his father is home, and he surely didn't come to see me, my interest peaks.

That's when I learn that he came to meet Lissa. She eventually confessed to me that they once had a little flirt, and that he left her hanging, right before she came to this house. You can imagine that makes me like him even less. I mean, even if he didn't like her in that way, he should have done something about Neil that day.

I make it my mission to make sure he will be treating her right if she wants to see his face. That's why when he asks to meet her, I go meet him instead.

Immediately, he ogles at me. I do it back.

"I don't like you much."

"It's alright, Ozera. Not everyone has great taste."

He laughs, but turns serious the next second. "Look, I know now I was a dick."

"Oh, do you?"

"Yes."

"Let's get things straight. Are you saying you were a dick about leaving her hanging, acting like you didn't know her when you came around that day, or because you didn't do shit that day?"

"All of those."

"And it took you so long to realize all that?"

"Some of us are slow to learn."

"Well, lesson learned. I still don't know why you're here."

Of course I am going to prolong his suffering. He made Lissa suffer, does he think he's getting off the hook so easily?

"I want to see Lissa and apologize to her. I misunderstood things and I want her to know I'm sorry."

His face reveals remorse, and Lissa told me she would like to talk to him to sort things out, so it's not like I am going to stop this from happening.

"Fine. I will let you see her. But if she tells me you did anything, and I mean anything to her, I am having your balls cut off."

"It seems like an appropriate punishment."

I said I'd let them talk, but that doesn't mean I won't watch. I may not listen, but I can sit around and read body language.

I wait a minute after they go out in the garden, and I follow them, hiding in the bushes.

"It's not nice what you're doing," Dimitri says, spawning out of nowhere.

I should make him to teach me some of those ninja skills.

He makes himself invisible for the other two by crouching in the bushes next to me, and I try to ignore the fact that this is the closest to me he has been since the hotel thing.

"Oh, go away, voice of reason. I am keeping an eye on him. I don't trust him around her."

"He seems to behave."

"Well, just because a man shows you something it doesn't mean you have to believe him. I am thinking he has impure wishes with her and I am not letting them out of my sight."

But despite my doubts about Christian, their meeting concludes happily. When I meet Lissa later on, she tells me everything about it and that they solved their problems. She even seems excited about the possibility of going back to the Court, in order to be with him. It seems like things between them were a little more than just a flirt before she came here, and meeting each other reignited that, but if she doesn't want to share it, I won't rip it from her. And even though I would be sad to lose another friendly face around here, I encourage her to do it. I want her to be happy.

I am excited about the possibility of Lissa going to the Court, but when I hear two guardians talking about me having the same fate, you know, for security reasons, the happy feelings leave my mind. Of course, these two are talking about a plan in which I will be taken out of the house and have absolutely no idea about where I am going. Because they know I would protest vehemently to being taken to the Court. They ideate about lying to me, telling me they're taking me somewhere else, but take me eventually there. I'm glad to see their plan doesn't include heavy drugs, though.

But that doesn't mean it doesn't piss me off extremely.

I don't take my anger out on the two people talking. I go straight to the one who has been looking me in the eyes for days and didn't tell me a single thing about that. Because if they know about this, he must know about it too.

I don't bother with pleasantries as I make my way into the dining room, where he is. I even slam the door against the wall, even though that wasn't my intention.