The Disappearance of Aqua Mizu
Chapter 3: Special Delivery
"Alright, what is this about you two?" Kazuma demanded, glaring at Aqua and Mikuru. Aqua had found her bestest bud walking to school, and hustled him...her? The NEET, off into an alleyway near the school. It was surprisingly easy to pick up Kazuma and carry her, now that Aqua was so much bigger. She supposed she could have done it before, even though she was shorter than he had been, but that line of reasoning made her head hurt.
"We need your help," Aqua admitted as she set the flustered Kazuma down. "We, um, we have a small problem."
"What did you do?" Kazuma demanded, grabbing Aqua's shirt and yanking her to eye level. "I swear, if you got in debt to the mob AGAIN, so help me I will-"
"What? No! Look, this is about…" Aqua licked her lips and glanced at Mikuru, uncertain of what to say.
"Um, Kazuma...do you...do you remember living in Belzerg?" Mikuru prompted. "And, um...defeating the Devil King?"
"I remember living in Belzerg and having a showdown with the mob, but who's this Devil King?" Kazuma asked, her brow furrowing. "Did you two go drinking last night and end up wasted or something?"
"No! We went to a neko-maid cafe with Agents T and A," Aqua explained, then cried out as Kazuma suddenly put her in a headlock despite her new size.
"You went to see STRIPPERS without me?! What is wrong with you!? Am I not good enough!? And taking Mitsuru to see strippers?! That's a new level of stupid even for you!" Kazuma ranted, squeezing Aqua's neck.
She managed to punch Kazuma in the gut to stagger her then tackled Kazuma, pinning her by sheer weight. Aqua wasn't very good at fighting, but being bigger and stronger was sometimes enough to overcome any level of skill, especially when magic wasn't involved.
"No! They were secret agents! They came to help us fix things, to make them go back to the way they were when you were a boy and I was a girl!" Aqua pleaded.
"What are you on about? Get off of me!" Kazuma snarled.
"K-kazuma, please listen," Mikuru pleaded, squatting down by the struggling girl's head. "Um, there was some sort of temporal shift, and now...everyone's swapped genders. I think it had to do with Miss Suzumiya's abilities."
"You're BOTH talking nonsense! Let me up! I'm going to kick both your asses for this!" Kazuma raved, scratching frantically at Aqua. "And I thought you were my best bud! This is gender abuse!"
Tears welled up in Aqua's eyes, partly from the pain, but mostly from Kazuma denying they were best buds. "Please, Kazuma, you have to listen! Can't you remember! We were in Belzerg, in another world! I was your cheat item, and there was Megumin and Darkness, and um, well, you-" Aqua couldn't make herself say Kazuma had been dating Megumin. The words caught in her throat. Normally she approved of her two mortal friends enjoying themselves together, but right now...the thought of Kazuma kissing Megumin and doing...other things...with her made Aqua feel sick for some reason.
Tears flowed down Aqua's cheeks and splashed on Kazuma's face. No sooner that the liquid touched her than Kazuma froze, her eyes going wide. She lay there, trembling for a moment as Aqua's tears spattered on her skin.
After a long moment, Kazuma rasped. "I...I remember...ohgod."
Aqua did not manage to get away fast enough as Kazuma vomited messily and noisily. She did jerk away, then fuss over her own clothes as Kazuma sat up, looking dazed and coated in vomit. Hastily Aqua took off her jacket and wiped at Kazuma's face. "Are you OK?"
"I...think so," Kazuma muttered, clutching at her head. "I remember...this doesn't make any sense. I've always been a girl. I can remember living with my family, here in town, only...only I can remember something else too. It's hazy and distant, but…"
"You remember! So you know, this is all wrong!" Aqua cried, sweeping her arms around. "Mikuru and I are girls, and you're a boy, and you defeated the Devil King and I got kicked out of heaven and-"
"Slow down," Kazuma groaned, getting shakily to her feet. "Let's...let's head home. We need to get changed and...I think I need a freaking drink."
"I could use one too," Aqua agreed. "We should get some bubbly."
"But, um, what about school?" Mikuru asked, nervously glancing towards the school buildings.
"You just told me that some sort of cosmic event Rule 63'd the entire world and that some Devil King from a damn light novel is involved," Kazuma said wearily. "I think school might just be somewhere near the bottom of the list of our priorities."
"Oh. Um...ok," Mikuru agreed. Aqua shrugged. She never understood the point of school anyway. Who cared about math and stuff? And she was already super amazing at every kind of art related subject, so why did she need to learn more?
They hurried back home, dodging their classmates at Kazuma's insistence. She muttered something about, "ruining my reputation forever."
"Um, Kazuma, no offense but...you have a terrible reputation," Mikuru said, looking a bit skeptical. "Everyone thinks you're a pervert and a yakuza thug."
"Right, I'm the tough girl. Walking around coated in vomit would make me look lame, and totally ruin my street cred," Kazuma explained.
Mikuru didn't look so sure, but Aqua nodded. "Everyone knew by the end of our time in Belzerg Kazuma was an ultra badass adventurer. We defeated all kinds of generals of the Devil King! This one time, there was this really ugly Dullahan named Verdia, and Kazuma had me conjure up a huge flood! It totally awesome, and then Kazuma kicked his head and-"
Aqua prattled on for a few minutes about some of their adventures until they reached the apartment, after which both she and Kazuma went to get changed.
"Aquarius?" Kazuma called.
"Um, that's me, right?" Aqua asked, turning around. She froze, seeing Kazuma in her underwear. Normally that wouldn't be a problem, but Aqua decided that being a boy and Kazuma being a girl was making it a problem. She was sure everything would go back to normal once they fixed things.
"Did all that...you're not making this up, right? Something really has gone wrong with the world?" Kazuma asked, her voice slightly quavering.
"Kazuma...I'm still your bestest bud, right?" Aqua asked. "Even...even like this?"
Kazuma raised one eyebrow, and Aqua suddenly remembered she was currently shirtless and covered her breasts, even if they were flatter than Eris's at the moment.
"Especially like that," Kazuma said.
"Then do you trust me?" Aqua asked, her voice pleading and full of pain. She didn't know what she would do if Kazuma said no.
Slowly, Kazuma walked over to Aqua, standing on tiptoe to gently kiss her on the lips. "Always. You're not the smartest person I've ever met, by a long shot, and you can be rude, and crude, and your money sense is about as good as a drunk five year old's...but I trust you. Especially about something like this. I...I can remember...I don't know what I can remember. But back there...this all just started to feel...wrong."
Tears came into Aqua's eyes, and she nodded as they dribbled down her cheek.. "I know, we have to fix it, but I don't know how."
"That's what I'm here for. I'm the smart one, remember?" Kazuma asked, reaching up and gently brushing away Aqua's tears. "Just remember. The whole world could go wrong, but we'll stick together. Because the two of us will never be a mistake."
Aqua burst into tears when Kazuma went into the bathroom. They were a mistake. A horrible, wonderful mistake. She couldn't love her best buddy. If she were going to make Kazuma into a god so they would never have to be apart...all these strange and amazing feelings would have to go. It was the only way, because otherwise she would have to say goodbye to Kazuma someday and that would hurt worse than anything she could think of.
A few minutes later, Aqua sat with Mikurua s Kazuma paced back and forth, rubbing her temples. "Alright. So these 'Agents'-"
"T and A," Mikuru said helpfully.
Kazuma paused and gave her a withering look. "Those names didn't even seem a little bit suspect to you?"
Aqua and Mikuru exchanged puzzled looks. "Don't secret agents usually have names like that?"
"T and A. Tits and Ass?" Kazuma asked, her tone completely flat.
"O-oh," Mikuru gasped, going bright red. A moment later, Aqua did as well.
"But they seemed so nice! And they gave us this phone number to call if we needed help!" Aqua said, holding the piece of paper.
Kazuma snatched it out of her hands. "Why didn't you START with that?"
Whipping out her phone, Kazuma dialed the number, putting her phone on speaker and glaring at it.
"Hello?" a chipper male voice said from the other end. Agent T, Aqua was pretty sure.
"Is this Agent Tits or Agent Ass?" Kazuma demanded sourly.
"What?! Is this some kind of- oh. Um, no, but this is Agent T. Our name was, ah, slightly unfortunate in hindsight. Who is this? I gave this number to Aqua..aarius."
"This is your worst damn nightmare if you try to steal my boyfriend, you damn himbo," Kazuma growled.
"Honey, I have zero interest in your 'boy' friend. Now tell me who you are or I'm hanging- wait. Never mind. Go ahead, Kazuma. What's your question?"
"How do you know who I am?" Kazuma snarled, gripping her phone in both hands.
"Dear, there is only one person who is as infuriating to talk to as you are, especially at your age. Now what's this about?"
Kazuma narrowed her eyes, then ground out, "What do you know about Belzerg?"
"Well, in this reality, absolutely nothing. I do, however, know that it's a fantasy world that you and Aqua worked in together to defeat the Devil King. Or at least the male version of you did. Incidentally, how on Earth did the two of you meet if you didn't kidnap Aqua?"
"Um," Kazuma went slightly pale, then covered her mouth on one side and hissed into her phone. "Look, I didn't MEAN to kidnap the stupid bastard, it just sort of happened! And he could have left once we got to Belzerg! I mean, I don't know how he would have paid for airfare, but he kept following me like a lost puppy and I sort of felt responsible after shanghaiing him all the way to America!"
Aqua wrinkled her brow. "Well I don't remember any of that. You just picked me as your cheat item and I had to go with you to Belzerg. I just stayed with you because you seemed to know a lot about fantasy worlds and you were a good drinking buddy."
"You don't remember-! You mean you don't recall those three months we lived in a garage while working as day laborers?!" Kazuma demanded, forgetting her conversation on the phone.
"Kazuma, calm down. Aqua's mind was unaffected by the World Knitting that Haruhi and my- I mean, that the two nascent goddesses worked. Just like she can remember her time at the High School In Another World with Ristarte, Subaru, and Tanya, and you can't."
"Huh? How come Kazuma can't remember?" Aqua asked suspiciously.
"More importantly, how do you know all this stuff?" Kazuma growled. "And why can Mitsuru remember being a girl too!?"
"Mitsuru? You mean Asahina? She's an Axis Cultist, and as arch priestess, she has a close connection to her goddess. Memory erasure spells don't work on her," Agent T explained.
Kazuma scowled at the phone, tapping one foot impatiently.
Licking her lips, Aqua spoke up. "Um, you said we needed to find the trapped power. Where should we look?"
"Somewhere important to both of them."
"Well that's obvious for Haruki; it's in the Brigade room, or close to it," Kazuma muttered. "What about this other one? Sasaki?"
"We could look at her school too?" Mikuru suggested.
"It's as good a place as any to start," Agent T agreed. "They spent a lot of time in this 'Paranormal Investigation Club.' Though from what I gather here, as a boy sports play a big role in his life too. Check that out."
"Right. Well, this better not be a wild goose chase, Agent Tits," Kazuma harrumphed. "Don't think I didn't notice you sidestepping my question about how you know all this."
"How can he be Agent Tits? He's a boy," Aqua demanded.
"Um, well, if we got turned into boys...maybe he used to be a girl too?" Mikuru guessed.
"Well. This conversation took a charming direction," Agent T sighed. "If you have any pertinent questions, call again. I'm afraid my hands are quite literally tied as far as direct action goes. I wish I could do more but...I made my Choice. Good luck with your own, Aqua."
"What choice?" Aqua asked in confusion, but Agent T had already hung up.
"Well. I guess we're going to Sasaki's highschool," Kazuma said. Then frowned. "Er, either of you know where that is?"
"Um, it's Koyuouen," Mikuru supplied. "You know, where you drove the ambulance to save Yuki?"
Kazuma raised an eyebrow at Mikuru, then shrugged. "Sure, why not. I'm already willing to believe there's a parallel dimension where I was a boy and we defeated the Devil King. Guess we're taking the train."
On the train, Kazuma sat next to Aqua, snuggling up to her in a somewhat distracting way while Mikuru sat on Aqua's other side. As they rode, Kazuma leaned up, whispering to Aqua, "Are you sure about this? Is this really a good idea?"
"Yes, everything's wrong here," Aqua said miserably. "I'm wrong. You're wrong. How could you not remember Belzerg? That was...that was the best time of my life."
Kazuma snorted and sat back in her seat, but she looked worried. Aqua wished she had the words to explain just how much that meant. She was thousands of years old, old enough to remember when humans were still a young species, and they had first come to the islands that would be known as Japan one day. She wasn't the oldest goddess, not by a long shot, but in all her long life, no time had been more precious to her than that spent with Kazuma in Belzerg.
At first she had been miserable, true, and she had kind of hated Kazuma's guts. But somehow, in those first few months when they had worked together day in and day out, he had become her friend. Then her best bud. And now...now Kazuma was the most important person Aqua had ever met.
And she had met a lot of people.
When they arrived at Koyuouen, it was just barely midday, and it was close to the lunch bell. Kazuma, it seemed, had a plan for this, producing her phone and ordering pizza from three separate locations. When the delivery drivers arrived, she then bribed each of them to hand over not only the pizza, but their work shirts as well.
"Where did you get all that money?" Aqua asked curiously after watching Kazuma part with nearly a hundred thousand yen in a matter of minutes.
"Are you serious? We got it when we killed the mob boss and ran off with his cash. That's why we had to flee back to Japan," Kazuma replied. She frowned, examining Aqua's perplexed face. "You...you really don't remember. I…"
Suddenly, Kazuma reached out, grabbing Aqua and pulling her into a very enthusiastic kiss. Aqua could only freeze up, too overwhelmed to even respond to this sudden display of affection. Part of her was horrified, part of her was disgusted, part of her was thrilled, and part of her was not a her at all and was standing straight at attention.
Breaking off the kiss, Kazuma stood back, looking near tears. "You don't remember. You're...you're not my Aquarius, are you?"
"No," Aqua admitted, tears filling her own eyes. "Just like...just like you're not my Kazuma."
"Well. I don't know about this other shit, but I'm getting the man I love back, and whatever stranger is living in his head is going home!" Kazuma snapped, then threw the largest of the pizza delivery shirts at Aqua. "Get that on! We've got a school to infiltrate."
A quick change later, and three pizza delivery workers went into the school office.
"Hey, got a pizza delivery for...Sasaki? Just says 'Paranormal Investigation Club, Sasaki.' Sorry, know you have a million of them here," Kazuma said, sounding bored.
"Um, mine is for Fujiwara," Mikuru said, trying to see over her stack of boxes.
"These are for K. Suou," Aqua said, having managed to dredge up the name of one of her captors.
"What's this? Why would three students order so much pizza?" the receptionist asked, frowning.
"Dunno, but they have to pay for it. " Kazuma said with a shrug.
"Oh, fine. Let me call the Paranormal Investigation room, they're probably in there."
A few minutes later, a tall boy that looked vaguely familiar to Aqua hurried down the hall. He had dark hair, and a serious expression, along with strange violet eyes. "Pizza? I didn't order any. Is this my parent's idea of a gift or something?"
"Look man, I don't care, I just want to get paid," Kazuma sighed.
"Hmph. Well, I suppose I can't say no to pizza. Even if it is at a bit of an odd hour. Come on, I left my wallet back in the club room," Sasaki said with a shake of his head.
Mikuru looked nervously at the receptionist, but she was on the phone with some other business, so the three faux deliveries followed after Sasaki.
"I told my mom I'd just buy something in the cafeteria today, but she's always going on about being prepared," Sasaki commented as they walked. "I guess this is her idea of a joke or something."
"Super. Just make sure we get paid," Kazuma said.
"Fine, fine. Bit pushy aren't you?" Sasaki asked, frowning at Kazuma. He glanced at Aqua, frowning again. "Blue hair. Bit out of the ordinary, isn't it?"
"What's it to you?" Kazuma growled.
"Sorry, sorry. Here, the club room is over here," Sasaki said, opening a door and gesturing them in. "Of course my mother would expect me to pay for it. Sheesh, so much pizza. What do I owe-"
Kazuma dropped the pizza boxes with a thud, slamming Sasaki through the door and pinning his arm behind his back and laying him out over a desk.
"Ok, pal, talk! Where's this hidden power you've got, and what do I have to do to get my Aquarius back!?" Kazuma snarled as Aqua and Mikuru both stood in the hall, gaping at her.
Kazuma turned around and snapped at the two of them."Get in here you idiots, and close the door! God, it's like you've never seen a girl strong arm a guy!"
"You bastard," Sasaki hissed. "Trying to get my parents' wealth? You're a fool!"
"Yeah, well, you try anything and I break your arm, kid," Kazuma huffed.
"I don't think so," Sasaki snarled, then moved suddenly and violently.
Aqua cried out in panic as Sasaki managed to bend out of Kazuma's hold, then kneed the girl in the chest and slam her into the wall, lifting Kazuma off her feet with one arm around her neck.
"My mother made sure I would be prepared for morons like you," Sasaki panted, his purple eyes seeming to glow slightly.
"Kazuma, Kazuma!" Aqua cried.
"That's me! I'm a bit...busy," Kazuma gasped, wiggling slightly in Sasaki's grip.
"The power, it's here, I can sense it!" Aqua said eagerly. "I think I can-"
Kazuma suddenly kicked both legs up, wrapping them around Sasaki's arm. She wretched sideways, making the boy cry out in pain as something in his elbow popped and snapped. Then everything was a flurry of blows, but it ended with a groaning Sasaki on the floor, and Kazuma straddling him, bruised but victorious.
"Not bad, kid. But I fought the mob for two years. You've had training, but there's a difference between playing at fighting and doing it for real," Kazuma gasped. She turned, glaring at Aqua and MIkuru. "Well? Get that shit, and let's get out of here!"
"I have to find it first," Aqua said, looking around the club room. It looked different than the last time she'd been here, but exactly how she wasn't certain. She closed her eyes, feeling out with senses that humans didn't have. They were muted, subdued, but they were present. Slowly, Aqua moved forward, reaching out and-
Aqua bumped into a chair and let out a cry as she tripped over it and went sprawling.
"Now is not the time! Hurry up!" Kazuma ordered.
"I am hurrying, shut up you stupid NEET!" Aqua snapped, and it was almost like old times for a second. But then she found it. Reaching into a dusty old box, Aqua pulled out a copy of Super Smash Brothers. It was still in the plastic wrap, but inside, she could sense Sasaki's power. More power than she'd ever had before, actually. She couldn't just tap into it though. It was wrong, from someone else. But it felt familiar.
Just as Aqua was about to puzzle out what the power reminded her of, the door slammed open, and two students, brown haired boy and blonde girl, stormed in. "Sasaki! What's happening!"
"Um, pizza delivery?" Kazuma offered from her perch atop Sasaki, only to cry out as Sasaki roughly shoved her off.
"They're trying to kidnap me!" Sasaki snarled. "Damn it, Tachibana, call the cops we-"
"Not for these two," the boy growled, and rushed Kazuma while the grinning girl went after Mikuru.
"I think you both need to go to the Nurse," the girl purred, pulling a nightstick out of her jacket and extending it with a malicious grin.
"N-no! Stay away!" Mikuru cried, backing away in a panic.
Kazuma was exchanging blows with both Sasaki and the new boy, but while she might have been able to take one of them, fighting both was proving to be too much. Aqua could only watch helplessly as Mikuru wailed and dodged. She clutched the game case to her chest, and it suddenly grew warm in her hands.
"Please! You have to stop! Something is wrong with the world, it's all changed!" Aqua wailed.
The brown haired boy suddenly spun towards Aqua, panic on his face. "She has the game! What's that doing here!?"
"Just stop!" Aqua moaned, and as she gripped the case, a sudden jolt of power flowed into her.
Help me! Please! I'm trapped! This has all gone wrong! A girl's voice cried out. At the same time, Sasaki howled in pain, clutching his head.
Kazuma, of course, took the opportunity to kick Sasaki in the kneecap, then do a flying tackle onto the other boy before he could get to Aqua.
"A-Aqua, HELP!" Mikuru wailed as the madly grinning girl seized poor Asahina and raised her nightstick.
In desperation, Aqua raised a hand and cried out, "Reflect!"
As she did so, the power Aqua clutched in her hands roiled and swirled, and a magical barrier appeared. The nightstick rebounded off it with amplified force, clobbering the blonde right between the eyes. She let out a groan, then crumpled to the floor.
"Fujiwara!" Sasaki groaned, trying to get on unsteady legs. "What...what was-"
"Magic," the other boy snarled, shoving Kazuma to the ground. "You are ALL going to the Nurse! This is an unacceptable breach! I'll have to contact her, she was deployed elsewhere but-"
"Nurse THIS!" Kazuma snarled, and kneed the boy in the groin. For the first time in her life, Aqua felt an uncomfortable twinge of sympathy. She'd pulled that move before without a thought, but now...she could just feel how painful that had to be.
"Leave Tachibana alone! It's me you want, isn't it? I'm the one with the rich parents," Sasaki said bitterly, managing to get to his feet and assume a fighting pose.
"No, Sasaki, listen! The world, it's wrong! Look!" Aqua held out the copy of Smash Bros desperately.
"What does that-" Sasaki gasped, clutching his head. "I...what is...I can...no, no, this isn't RIGHT."
"No, it's not, some stranger is living in my boyfriend's head, and I want him back," Kazuma snarled, pointing at Aqua. "I will do whatever it takes, and pay whatever the cost is to have Aquarius back, because I know he'd do the same for me!"
"Yes! I-I want my Kazuma back too!" Aqua agreed. "This world...it's been altered, and so have you, Sasaki! This, this is yours, isn't it?"
Aqua held out the game disk, causing Sasaki to recoil, wincing as they tried to keep weight off their injured leg. "I...I can't-"
"Sasaki, don't," Tachibana groaned, trying to roll over and failing when Kazuma pinned him. "This world, it's the one you wanted. Ordinary. Plain. Don't… don't take that."
"What are you saying?" Sasaki demanded, frowning down at Tachibana. "The world I wanted? There's plenty wrong here! I want out of my parents' shadows, I want a girlfriend, I want people who don't love me just because I'm the star athlete! God, I'm going down the same path my mother did! I want to be my own person!"
"Then take this," Aqua encouraged. "It's...who you should be. The power of a goddess. I can sense that it belongs to you. Can't you hear yourself, crying out?"
Slowly, Sasaki reached out over the further protests of Tachibana, and touched the game case. There was a visible flash of light, and a discharge of power that caused Sasaki to reel away.
"Thank you," Sasaki gasped, clutching at her chest. "You freed me. I don't know...how this happened. I just...I was with Haruhi, and something...happened. We were singing, and…"
"You're a goddess too, aren't you?" Aqua asked.
Sasaki recoiled from her, a look of horror on her face. "No! I don't want to be someone different! I want an ordinary life! This life was...it was good but...this isn't me. This is just...another person."
"Please, Sasaki, don't destroy this world. Not after...after I got what I always wanted, even as a boy," Tachibana wept.
"I'm sorry, Kyouya. But it's Kyouko who is my friend. You're just...I don't know what you are," Sasaki said, her voice trembling. She still looked like the male version, but something had shifted. Whoever that other Sasaki had been, he was now gone, replaced by the original utterly, just as Aqua had done to Aquarius.
She felt a little bad about that. Well, more than a little bad. Hopefully, there would be a way to save everyone.