Beta'd and edited by The Grand Cogitator and DR_Feelgood
Special thanks to Jman for supporting this fic and my mad quest to finish this insane crossover.
Mikuru was very confused. That wasn't exactly strange for her if she were being perfectly honest with herself. She spent a good portion of her life both confused and flustered, and unfortunately very miserable to boot. While her life had improved substantially when she'd been sent downtime to "monitor" Haruhi Suzumiya, she'd also been treated as a mushroom with the sheer amount of lies and obfuscation she had to endure on a daily basis.
There was also the sexual harassment that Haruhi piled on her, but Mikuru had endured it. If nothing else, she kind of enjoyed that someone was showing her attention and affection. It had been vanishingly rare uptime and she'd never had any friends. She'd nurtured a few fantasies about Kyon (and Haruhi) but nothing could really ever come from them thanks to the strict monitoring of the TTP and her temporal isolation.
Indeed, her best friend had been Wells the Cat until she met Tsuruya, and even Tsuruya had always had a bit of a wall up between her and Mikuru. Probably because as she now knew, Tsuruya was a Mafia Princess and Mikuru was a time traveler. That hadn't exactly led to honest communication. There had certainly never been any real romance in her life, up until Haruhi had abruptly asked Mikuru out. Not that anything had ever really come of it, but it had made Mikuru ask a few questions about herself.
Questions that apparently had been rather suddenly and unexpectedly (though not as unwelcomely as one might think) been answered the day before when Cecily had first started hitting on Mikuru when they'd been getting fliers in her dingy little shack.
Now, Mikuru sat up on the rather lumpy straw mattress, and smiled down at Cecily, who was still snoring. She had a girlfriend! And like, a real girlfriend, not just Haruhi deciding that Mikuru was a satisfying second place finish.
Looking around, Mikuru didn't see much, but she did find a small wood stove, which she got lit after burning her fingers on the matches only twice. After that, she rummaged around and found some tea and bread, making a simple breakfast. By the time Cecily stopped snoring, Mikuru was able to present her with breakfast in bed.
"Good morning!" Mikuru said brightly, handing Cecily a chipped up and a plate with toast. "I couldn't find any butter, so I put that jelly on the toast. It was a bit odd, but it tasted good!"
"Waszat?" Cecily said, looking groggy and a complete mess, with her hair all over the place. She blinked at Mikuru, then took the cup of tea. She sipped at it, then blinked up at Mikuru, who was smiling brightly at her. "Has anyone ever told you…that you're absolutely adorable?"
Blushing, Mikuru nodded. "Um, mostly Haruhi."
That got a laugh out of Cecily. "My new goddess has good taste! Let me see that toast."
To Mikuru's slight disgust, Cecily ate the toast right there in bed, getting crumbs all over the blankets.
"Ah, you used my jelly slime! That stuff's illegal, you know!"
"I-it is!?" Mikuru gasped, feeling horrified at the thought of breaking the law.
"Yep. Tastes great though." Cecily reached out, and pulled the shocked Mikuru forward. "Almost as good as you. And I'm still hungry."
After getting dressed for a second time, Mikuru managed to get Cecily to brush her hair properly, and the two of them stepped out into Axel and the aftermath of the giant party the night before. People were taking down the giant signs and stalls, while others were sweeping up the various debris.
"How old are you, anyway?" Cecily asked as they walked down the street.
"Um, I don't know," Mikuru admitted. "I get confused, especially when I skip years or relive them more than once."
Cecily blinked, wrinkling her nose. "Huh?"
"Um, I was in year three in high school?" Mikuru said. She held up her fingers and muttered under breath, trying to calculate how many birthday's she'd actually had.
For some reason, Cecily brightened at that. "I know about High School! That means I still got it! Ha! Just because I'm getting old doesn't mean my bedmate is!"
It was Mikuru's turn to blink in confusion as Cecily began to sing, "That's what I like about High School Girls, I get older they stay the same age!" while dancing in a circle around Mikuru.
"Wonderful. Good to see that you're still criminal scum, Cecily."
Cecily didn't even hesitate, turning and attempting to sprint off away from the voice. She didn't get far before a river of ice encased her feet, locking her in place. Mikuru ran over and spread her arms, blocking the path of the two that had accosted them. One was a female knight in a pristine white suit, the other a mage in a conservative dress with a blue bonnet on her head. Both were blonde, and about Cecily's age in their early 30s.
"Um, Claire!" Cecily said, turning her head and smiling. "Fancy seeing an old lover here! Um, you see, I was just going to-"
"Don't you dare hurt her!" Mikuru cried. "Cecily is the woman I love, and I can't let you harm her!"
Cecily let out a soft groan, which made Mikuru turn and look. Cecily's expression said she was in great pain, probably from having her feet frozen. Mikuru hated cold feet.
"Charming. But isn't she a little old for you?" Cecily, the female knight said, her tone as cold as the ice gripping Cecily.
"I mean, we banged, and you were older than a high school girl at the time!" Cecily offered. "And, um, Mikuru, sweetie, I, uh-"
"It's OK, I've had a girlfriend before too," Mikuru told her. She blushed. "Um, b-but that was my first time…I-I don't mind that it wasn't yours…"
She definitely did, but she would still love Cecily no matter what! They'd have adventures together, and save the timeline! It would be terribly romantic, and Mikuru couldn't want to tell Big Mikuru she'd finally met the love of their life.
"Claire, you slept with an Axis Cultist?" the other woman said, sounding offended.
Claire sighed. "It was the victory party 10 years ago after the defeat of the Devil King, and I was drunk, Rain. I typically have better taste."
"So was I, to be fair," Cecily added.
"Hey! I'm an Axis Cultist too, and there's nothing wrong with that!" Mikuru huffed. Then she hesitated. "Um, but since Aqua's not going to be a goddess anymore…I guess I'm still Deputy Vice Commander of the SOS Brigade?"
"That's actually what we need to talk about," Claire sighed. "Cecily, Rain will let you go if you promise not to run off."
"I ain't done nothing wrong, you can't prove anything!" Cecily said hastily. "She's legal! Trust me!"
"Um, I think I'm probably 18? It's honestly kind of hard to tell. I could be 20, but I'm probably not more than that I think? Unless you count the timeloop…I don't remember it, but I think it was a few hundred years? Um, it was…I think 15,000 times? And it lasted two weeks, uh…how long is that?"
"Wait, you're not a teenager?" Cecily asked, sounding disappointed.
"That's all very strange and fascinating. Rain, let Cecily go. If she runs, turn her into something disgusting," Claire sighed.
"I don't possibly see how it could be more disgusting than what she is," Rain muttered, but waved a hand and muttered a spell, and the ice melted.
Mikuru hastily grabbed Cecily and kissed her, since she had won her freedom, and that's what happened in the shojo romances that she'd read. Cecily was stiff at first, but then returned the kiss rather enthusiastically. When they broke apart, Cecily laughed. "Eh, what the hell. You're a good lay, and you're still pretty cute. I guess I'll keep you around. Besides, I'll get to train you properly! And your tea was pretty good."
"Thanks, I brewed tea every day for Haruhi!" Mikuru said happily.
"Geeze, you brew tea for our goddess? Aqua only ever let me buy her drinks at the pub," Cecily said, rubbing her chin. "Probably because I can't cook worth a damn."
"That is all highly irrelevant. If you would come this way, we have matters to discuss," Claire stated, and took Cecily's arm, guiding her towards a nearby church.
"Hello, I'm Mikuru Asahina. It's nice to meet you." Bowing, Mikuru smiled at Rain, who blinked at her, then smiled and nodded.
"I'm Rain Symphonia. It's, ah, nice to meet you as well, Miss Asahina. I confess, you're rather unlike the other Axis Cultists I've met."
"I've not met any other Axis Cultists, except for Aqua and Cecily," Mikuru admitted, walking beside Rain as they made their way to the church. "But they're both very friendly and kind! And, um, they don't seem to mind if, uh…you like girls…"
"Ah yes. I suppose the open mindedness of the Axis Cult is their redeeming trait," Rain sighed, leading Mikuru inside the church. "Don't worry, dear. I married Claire, so we're a tad more open minded than some Erisites."
"Oh! I'm glad, they don't allow gay marriage in Japan. It's nice to know it's OK here," Mikuru said, smiling brightly.
"Yes, her Grace amended the laws the same day we were wed," Rain said, smiling. "I got to throw such a wonderful party…perhaps we should plan another one, now that we have another state religion."
"Oh yes! We can have tea and cakes, and play games!" Mikuru said, clapping her hands excitedly as they made their way to a small room at the back of the church. It was well lit, with a small table in the corner with four chairs. There were paintings of a silver haired woman with a feather mantle, smiling and performing various miracles, while silver candlesticks and large illuminated volumes provided decoration. Indeed, all the furniture was made of fine wood and richly carved, and the entire church seemed very wealthy.
"No parties for…whatever this religion is, until we've hammered out their official liturgy and doctrine and established what's permissible by the new cult," Claire ordered.
Rain pouted slightly. "Just a small party? Perhaps with sandwiches and wine tasting?"
"Fine, we can have sandwiches and wine. But AFTER we fill out at least some of this paperwork," Claire said, pulling out a chair and shoving Cecily into it. She took out a quill and parchment, sitting down across from her.
Rain coughed, and gave Claire a pointed look as Mikuru sat down.
Grumbling, Claire took out a pair of half moon spectacles and put them on, which caused Rain to beam.
"You wear glasses now?" Cecily laughed. "You are an old woman!"
"She was squinting whenever she had to read or write, so I got her a pair for her birthday. The frame is worked silver, with little rubies in it," Rain said, beaming happily.
"They're very nice, dear," Claire grumbled, then looked over her glasses at Cecily. "Right. What's the name of the new religion?"
"I dunno, Axis Cult 2: Haruhi Boogaloo?" Cecily offered.
Claire growled and fingered the hilt of her sword.
Mikuru raised her hand. Claire glanced at her, frowning. "What? Why do you have your hand up?"
"Um, well, I-I am the Vice Chief of the SOS Brigade…and the nice goddess with the silver hair said we were her cult…" Mikuru offered.
Cecily blinked, then shifted in her seat to face Mikuru.
"Well then, I'll just be going, you people seem very busy," Cecily said, scooting her chair back and making as if to stand.
Claire's hand shot out and grabbed Cecily's ear, dragging her back down as the other woman squealed in protest. "You're not going anywhere. Sit. Now, Miss…?"
"Asahina. Mikuru Asahina. I-I'm the Deputy Vice Commander of the SOS Brigade, a-and an intern Time Agent for the TTP, and also I'm an Axis Priestess. M-my blood type is -A, um, I don't know how old I am, and I go to North High. Er, I did…I'm not sure what I do now," Mikuru said anxiously. "I-I can give you my ID card…"
"No, that's quite alright. Now, the domains for Haruhi are listed as Exploration and…Excitement. Exploration is easy enough, but can you clearly define Excitement for me," Claire prompted.
"W-well, um, the creed of the Spreading Excitement All Over the World with Haruhi Suzumiya Brigade is to spread joy throughout the world, and, um, to discover and invent new things, and find interesting people who make life different and special…"
"Good, good. And what are some of the rituals your cult performs?" Claire asked, scribbling on her parchment.
They talked until lunch, with Mikuru answering various questions about Haruhi's cult, from what was considered proper regalia for a priest (Butler or Maid Cosplay, or perhaps a bunny suit for special occasions) what sorts of prayers to recite (Mikuru gave the school pledge), and what offerings were acceptable (Haruhi only liked novel things that were interesting, nothing plain or ordinary).
After lunch, Claire brought in several scribes, and Mikuru set about recounting the history of Haruhi to the best of her knowledge, along with her miracles and exploits. She was fuzzy on some of the details, but did her best and told all the stories she knew. It was all very new and exciting, and for some reason, the scribes kept referring to Mikuru as "your Holiness."
"Why are they doing that?" Mikuru whispered to Rain during a break. "It's Haruhi who's the goddess, not me. I'm just an intern."
"Why, you're the Deputy Vice Commander of the SOS Brigade. You're Haruhi's mortal representative, the pontiff of her religion on Belzerg," Rain explained. "We'll collect accounts from the other members of the SOS Brigade too. Someone's interviewing Kyon now to get his gospel. Congratulations, Miss Asahina. You're being elevated to the High Nobility by order of her Grace as the first leader of the SOS Brigade."
"Oh, that's nice," Mikuru said. She was too polite to correct Rain that Haruhi was really the leader, then Itsuki was the Deputy Commander. Besides, it was nice for everyone to be so kind and polite to Mikuru for once.
Rain didn't have the heart to tell Mikuru that the real reason she was appointed the pontiff was the other option was Cecily, and Claire would have committed murder before she "let that lecherous harlot and thief" be the leader of an 'organized' religion.
"Now, let us commence the ritual! Bring forth the sacrifice!" Komekko decreed. A large space had been cleared in the center of town, and Sasaki watched with growing trepidation. Komekko had cowed everyone, then after quizzing Sasaki, decided the thing to do was summon a demon.
"Is this really going to help?" Kyoko asked quietly, watching as several collared human slaves were led forward by a couple of ogres. "Shouldn't we, you know, be doing something?"
"What? What can we even do?" Sasaki hissed. "This is a death world! The reason there should be no gods or demons! Komekko at least seems to have a plan, and as long as-"
"NO NO NO! UGH! I meant like, a banana peel or something!" Komekko raged, stomping down off the platform the ogres had hastily erected. "Look, just let them go! No, we're not doing a human blood sacrifice! NO WE'RE NOT GOING TO KILL A DOG EITHER! Ugh, just- give me that!"
Komekko seized a half eaten hunk of bread from one of the ogres and tossed it in the middle of the circle. She made shooing motions, forcing the confused ogres back into line. The dazed humans were uncollared, though the ogres kept them from fleeing. Komekko raised her hands and began to chant.
"From the depths of hell I call thee, O Duke of Despair,
From the halls of torment I summon thee, O masked one
From the quaint little shop on the corner, I call thee, VANIR!"
There was a bust of flame, and cackling laughter echoed as the ogres shied back and a dark portal opened. A black and white mask rose up from the black maw that had opened within the circle, wreathed in flames as the haunting laughter continued. The void closed, and earth flew up, forming into the shape of a man in a twin tailed suit.
"MWAH-HAHAHAHA! Moi returns to serve thee again, O mistress," Vanir cackled, bowing gracefully. Then he picked up the hunk of bread and frowned. "Though moi must protest: This is not a suitable offering for a Duke of Hell. A mere crust? Moi demands finer fare."
"Oh stop whining, and get out of the circle! I've got a bunch of these to do," Komekko ordered.
"Hmph. Very well, Mistress. Moi will comply. Though one wonders where one has been called." Vanir shook his head, making a face. "This world is stale and drained, a corpse already. What fun to be had when the annoying goddesses are already….O-HO-HO! Mistress!"
Vanir spun about, and a moment later was in front of Sasaki, rubbing his hands gleefully. "Oh, what a delightful arrangement! A fresh young godling, so succulent, so full of despair! Why, though this realm weeps and the gods have abandoned it, moi can detect the whiff of life about this one. Shall we dine upon her sorrow, O Lady of Gluttony and Woe?"
"No, no eating Sasaki, she's my friend! Even if she is a goddess," Komekko huffed. She looked around. "Right, who's got a nice tea set?"
It turned out no one had a nice tea set, as ogres are not fond of tea. After a bit of haranguing, Komekko found a human slave woman who had a chipped old tea set, and had her brew up a cup.
"Fa. Thou troubles thyself overmuch for the useless shopkeeper who turns profits to sand," Vanir grumbled as the tea was paced in the circle.
"She's the best cook I've ever met, and I'm hungry! Besides, summoning a lich is harder than a demon," Komekko said, sticking her tongue out and biting it as she concentrated.
"Witch of Ice, Heart of Warmth, Mistress of Death, Giver of Life, come forth and make me something good to eat!"
"Is that really a spell?" Kyoko asked as the air turned to ice and a shimmering crystal began to form in the center of the summoning circle.
"Ha! I'm a Crimson Demon!" Komekko declared, striking a pose as a pale woman appeared in the ice. "We make up our own spells, so that they sound as cool as possible!"
A moment later, Wiz appeared. She looked around, then spotted Sasaki and Kyoko. "Oh, hello! I was getting worried about Komekko when she didn't come back in time for dinner; she's never late! Thank you for looking out for her, now, I…oh…OH! KOMEKKO! WHAT HAVE I TOLD YOU!"
An icy wind whipped up, and icicles began to form around Wiz, her eyes glowing as blue as a glacier's heart. For the first time Sasaki had ever seen, Komekko actually looked frightened. The young woman pointed hastily to the ogres. "It wasn't me! It was another Devil King! They did it! I told them no more eating humans, but they wouldn't let the slaves go! I was going to work on that after-"
"CRYSTAL ICE PRISON!" Wiz screamed, and the ogres wailed in terror, beginning to flee as giant spikes of ice streaked down from the heavens, picking them off one by one. "I SWORE TO DEFEND ALL THE INNOCENTS! THESE ARE SIMPLE PEOPLE, NOT GUARDS OR ADVENTURES! THEY THREATEN NO ONE! NOW YOU SHALL PAY THE PRICE FOR VIOLATING MY COMPACT!"
"Uh, are we going to tell her that this is a different world, and whatever she's ranting about, these aren't the people she seems to think she has to protect?" Kyoko said, having to raise her voice over the howling winds.
"Nah. The ones that survive will be properly chastened. Just let Wiz get it out of her system," Komekko said with a shrug. "Then she can make us dinner! I'm starving!"
"Didn't you eat all the food in the head ogre's house like an hour ago?" Kyoko asked, frowning as Wiz slaughtered a group of ogres, then patted a little girl on the head and gave her a lollipop, before turning a group of goblins into ice statues.
"Yeah but that was an hour ago and he barely had any food that wasn't people! And I'm not eating that, it's gross," Komekko huffed. "Now hold on, I'm going to summon Hoost and Wolbach. Someone find me an apple core or something."
Half an hour later, Wiz had rounded up the gibbering remnants of the ogres and goblins, as well as having freed all the human slaves. Somehow, she organized a soup kitchen, with the ogres and goblins forced to serve the humans vegetable soup. It was actually quite good, as Wiz had supervised the cooking herself. Komekko happily slurped down the soup, with Sasaki and Kyoko sitting at the table with her as Vanir waited on them.
"So, uh, what do we do now?" Kyoko asked.
Sasaki peered into her bowl. The soup smelled wonderful, but she couldn't bring herself to eat. "We find a way out of this place. Ixphoria is the worst place imaginable, with unbelievably strong monsters around every corner. I barely remember it, but my time here was a tortured existence before my parents arrived, and then ended when I was sacrificed."
"You know, you keep talking about that, but you're still alive and stuff. They can't have been that bad," Komekko said, taking her empty bowl and swapping it for Sasaki's full one. She eagerly slurped down the hot broth, wiping her chin with the back of her hand. "I mean, my dad was a lazy jerk, which is why I turned him into a dog. He should have spent more money feeding his adorable daughters and less on his stupid inventions!"
"Komekko! Hyuizabaro's magical items are delightful! I always stocked them at my shop!" Wiz protested, waggling a ladle at Komekko, before swatting a goblin and forcing him to serve an old man a piping hot bowl of soup.
"If Wiz likes them you know they're garbage," Komekko grumbled. She snapped her fingers. "Garcon! Next course!"
Vanir slid over, white towel over one arm, a smile on his lips. "Of course, Mistress. Can moi interest you in a menu? Perhaps moi can find some long pork…"
Vanir yipped as Komekko blew him in half with a death ray, causing the humans to jump in surprise, and the ogres to start weeping again. A moment later though, his body reformed from the dust.
"Thou couldst simply decline, mistress. Hmph. Moi shall locate a dessert."
Vanir glided off, and Sasaki turned to Komekko. "I appreciate that your own upbringing was less than ideal, but you do not understand: I was ripped from my mothers womb before I was born, imprisoned in a magical construct, forced to slaughter innocents, then after being freed by my own parents, they sacrificed me to the Devil King. Or…something like that. My memories are hazy, but this place is literal hell, Komekko."
"Yeah, I know," Komekko sighed, shaking her head. "The mana's all stale. It's 'cause the Devil King here won. Which…I dunno. That kinda sucks, you know? Food doesn't taste right."
"Taste's fine to me," Kyoko said with a shrug. "Bit bland, but filling."
"No, it's not!" Komekko said, pulling at her hair in frustration. "This is awful! Horrendous! I thought when I won, I'd be able to make everyone offer me endless delectable delights! Platters of dragon meat! Buckets of ice cream! Barrels of tomato soup! But is this what happens when the Devil King wins!? The life goes out of a world, and with it, the flavor!?"
"Wait, are you saying without gods…a world will slowly fade, the vitality gone?" Sasaki asked slowly.
"Oh ho! So, the goddess who wished to decline her divinity for a humdrum life discovers that her purpose would result in the entire world growing as dull as her brain, then becoming the nightmare she fears!" Vanir cackled. He presented Komekko with a small cake, strawberries and frosting on top of a plastic tray.
"Wait, that looks like it came from a convenience store," Kyoko said suspiciously.
"Indeed. There is little in the way of repast here, so moi commanded an imp to bring this from the land whose drive for work has driven them to ruin, the laughter of children replaced by drunken yodeling!" Vanir stated.
Seizing the cake, Komekko shoved it all into her mouth, messily eating and sending crumbs and bits of frosting flying, much to Sasaki's horror. When she was done, Komekko let out a loud burp, sinking down in her chair. "Ah, now that's the stuff! I can taste the mana in it! Even if it's a bit weak. Man, this sucks."
"Moi regrets to inform you that every world conquered by a Devil King, or Queen, has crumbled and faded. Indeed, without the gods to supply life, the nature of demons is to destroy," Vanir sighed, taking a seat himself.
"Wait, so like…the Demons are Chaos, Entropy and destruction, and the gods are Order, Creation, and Life?" Kyoko asked. "So you're the yin, and the gods are yang?"
"A rather reductive and primitive summation, but not entirely incorrect, O girl who tries to chase the love of her life by chasing him away," Vanir replied.
"Screw you, old man," Kyoko muttered, hunching in her seat.
"Wait, then you mean…you CAN'T have a world without any weirdness?" Sasaki demanded, standing up, clutching at her face in horror. "That without gods and demons…there isn't a normal world, just a washed out picture that crumbles and fades?!"
"Well yeah. Without gods, nothing would get made, that's obvious," Komekko said, sitting up and frowning. "That's like, the basic creation myth. Didn't you ever go to church or something? I mean, there was like a cult or whatever that taught about the gods, right?"
"Most Japanese are theoretically shinto or buddhist, but largely we can't be bothered and it's merely a cultural facade over a veneer of sensible atheism or agnosticism," Sasaki said numbly.
"Speak for yourself. I'm a devout believer in Sasakism. Or…whatever your religion is," Kyoko said with a shrug. "I figured you're basically a kami, and as your priestess, it's my job to make your vision a reality."
"But that's highly illogical! It doesn't make any sense!" Sasaki protested. She sat back down, putting her head in her hands. "Oh…oh no. My parents…they were right."
"Moi finds most mortals discover this about the time they reach adulthood. Congratulations! Thou art a fully grown individual. Moi expects thee to experience a great deal of existential dread, then bemoan thy fate of paying taxes and repeating the mistakes of thy forebears," Vanir said gleefully.
"Nah, we're gonna team up!" Komekko declared, sliding over and pulling Sasaki into a side hug. "Listen: I've thought about this. You know what I like? Conquering! Proving that I'm a genius by commanding hordes of demons and monsters to pillage the landscape, and then feasting upon the spoils of my victory!"
"That sounds ghastly," Sasaki snapped, trying to wiggle out of Komekko's embrace. She had shifted back to looking like a teenaged girl while Sasaki wasn't looking, but Komekko was still frighteningly strong. "And like, you're pure evil."
"Of course! Being good is lame and boring! Evil is way more interesting and exciting!"
"Evil Girls don't get seconds, only good girls!" Wiz admonished, waggling her ladle at Komekko.
"I'm good, I promise!" Komekko said eagerly.
Kyoko frowned at Wiz, who alternated between comforting the downtrodden humans and berating the terrified monsters. "Is she…for real? She's some sort of terrifying witch, but she's setting up a soup kitchen?"
"Actually, she's a lich," Komekko whispered. "She's just really bad at it. Humor her: and don't let her catch you harming any innocents."
"Yeah I make it a personal priority to never piss off anyone who can turn me into a person-cicle," Kyoko deadpanned. "Now what's this offer you've got?"
"See, I like the conquering! But that means I gotta have something TO conquer! And I was thinking…what if I were the Devil Queen who scared the other Devils?!" Komekko said excitedly. "We team up, find worlds that are all dying and stuff, and then I free them with your help Sasaki. Then you make them all yummy and full of life, and I go find another place to conquer. Then, when the idiot gods inevitably succumb to their hubris and are conquered, I come back and free the world! And am suitably rewarded with lots of food."
Sasaki hesitated. "That sounds…suspiciously like you're embarking on a career of heroics."
"Meh. Potato, potatoh. As long as I get to kick ass and command hordes of monsters and get sixteen squares a day, I call it a good life!"
Sasaki considered. She sighed, then nodded. "First…we find my parents. And keep me from dying…"
Author's Note:
Thanks for reading. This has been a really hard month, with me being in and out of the hospital with long covid. Still, I'm glad I managed to get three chapters out regardless, and I hope they were up to my usual quality.