Charlie

I can't believe summer is actually over. This has been the best and worst summer I've ever had. Nick and I spent it doing all the things we love. We know we are stronger together, we are sure of our love and after our two weeks apart at the start of the summer we know we definitely do not want to break up. He is the most important person in my life and I don't want to lose him, like EVER. But I can't mask that him leaving tomorrow is shitty. I know we will be ok. It's one year and we will visit and there will be the holiday breaks.. but still. But I don't want to think about this today, I just want to enjoy it and spend time with Nick.

'Ok are you ready to go?'

'I think so.. ? Knowing where you're taking me might help me though...'

'Nope, no spoilers!' I say picking up my backpack which is way heavier than usual..

'Not even if I do this..?' he comes forward and starts planting kisses on my neck whilst he ruffles my hair.

'..mmm' a moan escapes my mouth. He continues and I let him believe he might have a chance of making me spill the beans on where I'm taking him but, really, he has zero chance. The kissing feels good though, so why not take advantage.

Nick

I'm enjoying kissing Charlie, I always enjoy kissing him. And by the sound he's making he's also finding it pleasurable. So much so that I really have to stop now. I know my attempt will not make Charlie reveal his plans, he can be very stubborn. And all the kissing is just making my trousers really tight if you know what I mean.

'Ok then, if you're not going to tell me anything that I might as well stop this!' I step back and look at him. His eyes are closed and his head tilted back. I try to impress the image in my memory.

'Niiick! .. I was enjoying that!'

'Ohhh, I know! But I want to see what you have planned.'

Charlie takes my hand and guides me out of the bedroom and downstairs. He stops by the front door and hands me my car keys.

'What? You're going to make me drive to my own surprise day away? Ahaha'

'Well, Yeah! I don't drive, do I?' he smiles at me and my heart melts.

'So now you have to tell me where we are going!' I smile back and get in the car.

'Nope. Just drive, you'll find out soon enough'

We only drive for 35 minutes and then the sat nav announces we've reached our destination. I have no idea where we are, it looks like a country lane in the middle of a forest area with a little car park.

We start walking, Charlie reaches for my hand and starts running down a walking path. After 10 minutes we get to a meadow but he continues on, this time walking a few steps ahead. I can hear water not far and two minutes later we are in front of a beautiful waterfall. I didn't think there were places like this in Kent.

Charlie

I turn to see Nick's face. His blonde hair is falling a bit on his eyes and the sun, filtering through the trees, is shining on the side of his face, creating little shapes and dots. He is so handsome.

'This place is so beautiful, Char!' He comes forward and kisses me sweetly. ' How did you find it? I didn't know there were waterfalls around here'

'Oh.. I used to come here walking with my parents ages ago. I kind of forgot about it until I started thinking where we should go for your.. last day here.'

I still find it difficult to think he's going away tomorrow but I quickly smile at him. I want us to have the best day.

I take out a blanket from the backpack and lay it on the grass. We sit down, I rest my head on his shoulder and just breathe in. He smells of honey and coconut and home.

'I'm going to miss you so much'

'You'll be too busy to miss me. You'll have your orientation week, meeting new people, lessons, rugby try-outs, parties'

'I just wish you could come too!'

'I know, me too!...I've got you something'

I take out a badly wrapped gift from the bag and hand it to him. Nick unwraps it quickly and he's left with a small journal in his hand. He opens it and on the first page he finds a picture of the two of us that we took on holiday, camping together in Cornwall last month. I can see him flicking through the journal and smiling.

Nick

Charlie has marked all the important days: anniversaries, birthdays and days we've been on special dates. Every few pages he has also written down quotes from songs we love or films we watched together. The journal is the perfect gift, Charlie knows how disorganized and forgetful i I'm getting emotional, tears start to fall from my eyes and one lands on top of the writings on the page and smudges it. It's a radiohead quote "Jigsaw falling into place

So there is nothing to explain" some words are now blending together but you can still read it.

'Oh no! I'm.. so sorry' I tap the page before with a tissue before the tears claim more of the words.

'Hey, hey, it's fine.'

Charlie takes the journal from my hands and puts it down gently. He lifts my chin and plants a kiss on my lips. It's salty and wet from my tears. I hug him and I hope he can feel how much he means to me.

'I love you, Char. I love you so much.'

'I love you too silly.'

The day goes by so quickly and it's soon time to drive back. We are having dinner with mum, takeaway at home - mum suggested we go out but I know Charlie is more comfortable eating at home. His anorexia is loads better now but eating in public can still be a trigger.

The Indian takeaway arrives and I'm starving. Charlie eats most of his food but I'm not surprised there are some leftovers - I know today is a difficult day for him. It is for me too, I'm excited for tomorrow but also scared.

'So this is for you' mum hands me a box with a ribbon. It's a new smartphone.

' I know your old one is not receiving photos so I thought you might like this'

'Oh mum! Thank you, thank you, thank you!' I give her a big hug.

"You're welcome baby. I love you! C'mon I'll tidy up in here, I'm sure you'll want to set that phone up and make sure you have all you need for tomorrow.'

The phone doesn't take long to set up and as soon as it's ready I turn on the camera and take a picture of Charlie.

'Don't you think you've got enough pictures of me?'

'NEVER! Came here, I want one of the two of us!'

We smile at the camera and snap.

'Aww it's cute. I'll set it as my screensaver…

Char, how are you doing? You know you can tell me..'

'I'm.. okay. You know, I'm sad you're leaving tomorrow but I know we'll be okay!'

'Of course we are! We are going to facetime and message every day and we'll see each other very soon. And now you can also send me all your nudes as I'll be able to see them! Ahaha'

'Oh my god! I'm not going to send you any nude pics!'

He throws a pillow at me, but even after 2 years in the rugby team, Charlie's aim is terrible.

'Well, if you're not going to send me pictures I must impress your body to mind now then'

'Nick, you're so cringe!' but he doesn't protest when I take off my clothes and proceed to free him of his.

Our bodies move so quickly and seemingly together, like a well choreographed dance. Our mouths and our hands know exactly what to do. The urgency in our touch, the need to be together is so strong. Everything feels more necessary, essential, powerful.

We collapse on the bed, both breathless. I lay my head on Charlie's chest and I listen while his heart beat slows down. I'm just so lucky Charlie's in my life.

'I've had the best day, thank you. I love you, Charlie Spring.'

'I love you, Nick Nelson'.