Chapter 13: The Cart

I don't think there's anything I can do to make the situation better, so I do nothing. At this point, I don't think I deserve better.

There are more than enough reasons why. Earlier, I had a very clear image of how I was going to kill Lucy, someone who has been nothing but nice to me. I reminded Gray of the fear he has been battling probably all his life. And to top it all off: I killed people.

I think that right now, it's good to do nothing. I don't know what to do with myself otherwise.

I close my eyes and hold my breath.

The whispers, understandably, disagree. At the final second before we hit the rocks, they force me out again. I feel my shoulder blades burning and open my eyes.

My nose just about scrapes one of the sharp rocks, the next moment we're ascending again. I glance behind me and notice two wings desperately flapping, having erupted from the burns on my shoulders. My fingernails are growing, slowly turning into claws, scales appear all over my skin. The flames don't give up easily.

When I look beneath me, the sharp rocks and the grey beach are nowhere. There is only sea.

Then it hits me: I'm flying. Actually flying.

'Oh…damn,' I mutter to myself. The Tower is behind us, getting smaller by the second. I see Akane Beach nearing fast, faster than I could've reached it by boat.

But I don't have too much time to be amazed. After the first shock has passed, I feel a pulling sensation. As if someone has grabbed my arm and is trying to lead me away. Akane Beach disappears from the horizon and is replaced by the Tower of Heaven.

Of course. They want to go back.

I scoff to myself. What did the ruler say when I asked where to go? To ask these mysterious voices, right?

All they care about is a meal. Made of dark magic.

I take a deep breath and immediately feel nauseous. It's hard to even keep my eyes open, I feel myself slipping away into unconsciousness.

I faintly hear the voice of the ruler. 'Fascinating. It's asleep. Yet you are awake?'

An image of the masked guards crosses my mind, and their blood. Whatever 'it' is, if it's capable of doing that much damage while asleep, who knows what will happen when it's awake.

I know what happens when I'm asleep.

I grind my teeth and force myself to blink, keeping my eyes open. Under no circumstance can I go back there.

I look at my claws, fingers sharp as nails. I take a deep breath, and then slam my fingers into my right leg, piercing right through the flesh. I scream, but the pain gives me the adrenaline I need to force the whispers out.

My mind clears as I take the reins again. At the same time, my wings start to weaken. The strength is leaving, and instead of going forward, we're going down, towards the sea.

For the second time within a span of mere minutes, I close my eyes and let myself fall. This time however, I keep pressing my claw into my own flesh. Even after the nails and scales have disappeared I keep pressing, not losing focus for one second.

I can't go back. I have to stay away from dark magic, whatever it takes.

I hit the water face first, the salt shoots up my nose and gets into my eyes, burning along with my tears.

As I sink, the whispers continue to scream, but there is nothing they can do but wait till I stop breathing.

I'm running through what I think is a forest, the trees are the color of shadows and the branches go up higher than I can see. I'm being chased. I look over my shoulder behind me, and there's a claw with the sharpest nails and I just know they want to crush me.

I turn my head to face forward again, just in time to bump into a hooded figure. He says something I don't understand, and I tell him we have to run. I see two eyes, blue as the bottom of a flame. Right as the figure is about to remove his hood, the claw closes around me and pulls me into the darkness.

The first thing I think when I awaken is 'flames. Watch out for the flames'.

I shoot up, there's light in my eyes, and just the faint echo of whispers. And voices, human voices.

'Stay back, Lana! Stay back!'

I continue to blink until I see the origins of the light. A glowing lacrima is hovering above me. It's nighttime, but the stars aren't out, the lacrima is the only source of light. I wouldn't need it to see in the dark anyway, but from where I'm positioned there isn't much to see. I'm lying flat on my back on what I think is a surface of wood, with a woolen blanket over my legs. My hair and clothes are only slightly moist, so I must be out of the water for some time.

When I try to sit up to see what else is out there, I notice the flames. Pitch black fire is burning from my skin. Not burning the skin itself, it seems more like it's part of it somehow. Still I scream, because that's what you do when your arms are on fire. I wave them around frantically, hoping to shake the flames off.

I hear laughing, but I don't look around to see who it is. I know it's in my head, the whispers are very much present and aware and very amused at my distress. I take a few deep breaths and remember my claw slamming into my own leg. Just the memory helps to shush them.

The flames die out. My skin remains untouched and there's not a single burn at my sleeve. As if it was all in my head too.

But there's not much time to relax. I'm sitting up straight in the back of a cart, surrounded by suitcases. At first glance, I'd say I'm on a dirt road, surrounded by farmland. Then I notice the people standing a few paces away from the cart.

The one most in front, a woman in her late thirties, is holding a spear. It's pulsing in her hand, as if it's alive. Upon further inspection, I realize it's made of water, and it's pointed at me.

A little behind her stands a man whom I faintly recognize from somewhere. At both his sides, clutching at his trousers, are children who also seem familiar. A girl and a boy.

The woman takes a step forward, sticking the spear in my direction. 'Hey! Eyes up here!'

'Mom, don't hurt her!' the girl screams, but she doesn't let go of the man, the father I think.

Then it hits me. I open my mouth to say her name, but my throat is too dry to utter a sound. When I look back at her, the woman warns me again.

'Are you deaf? Eyes up here!'

I clear my throat, which makes everyone jump, including the girl who sort of tried to defend me. They're afraid of me, I realize. As if I could explode any second.

'What the hell was that just now?' the woman, the kids' mother, asks me harshly. I lick my lips and try clearing my throat again, but it's no use.

'She can't talk right now, don't you see?' the girl says frantically. Her mother frowns, both annoyed and sort of concerned. Not for me, but more in a way she's unsure of what I'll do next.

Any wizard from a young age learns to sense magic, it's like a soft tingling in the middle of your forehead. But that's just light magic. Dark magic is more like an itch. This woman is definitely getting an itch from me.

After a second or two, she lowers the spear slightly. 'Can you control it?'

My voice is gone, it seems, so I could either nod or no shake my head. But I don't know how to answer. She might not like the truth, and she also seems like the kind of person who doesn't appreciate being lied to very much.

While I'm thinking it over, suddenly the air around my nose shifts. Something passes by my eyes. I blink and then the water spear is trembling right next to me, stuck in the wood of the cart. The substance is still water, but it's as hard as steel. And very capable of hurting me.

'Mom, careful!' Lana screams, but she doesn't dare to leave her father's side.

The woman ignores her and instead claps her hands together, then spreads her arms. Between her palms, another water spear appears. 'Please answer the question. What were those flames just now?'

Before I can answer, Lana opens her mouth again: 'Mom, please. She's a good person!'

'Tell me,' her mother says to me in a low voice.

I decide to tell the truth. I shrug.