Cw: non-canonical child death, attempted murder.

If someone asked Sae what she remembered about her mother from when she was alive, she wouldn't have anything much to say. Admittedly, she should have – eight was old enough for murky childhood memories to solidify from abstract colours and faint emotions into something more tangible. Whenever the woman was mentioned, however, her thoughts didn't drift back to summer days at the park, or sitting cross-legged on the floor while her mum patiently explained multiplication to her, even though she logically knew those were things that happened. In fact, Sae couldn't even picture her face.

No - the only true memory Sae possessed of her mother (her living, breathing mother) was of her death.

Makoto had been playing with some building blocks in the corner of the living room while their father ostentatiously watched her – in reality, he was probably paying more attention to the newspaper in his hands as he lounged on the couch and sipped his tea. Sae had been deep in the middle of her homework – she couldn't remember what the subject was for the life of her, only the fact she was worried her work wasn't good enough. She'd just been bumped up a grade after all, and was terrified the teachers were going to think they'd made a mistake.

Her father would have sensed that something was wrong before everything went to hell, if only by moments. She'd heard his paper rustle, which was quickly followed by the door creaking open. Sae was only distracted from her studies, pencil jerking across the page, when a loud, echoing thud punctured the quiet apartment air. The next few seconds were a blur. One minute, she'd been sitting at the table, and the next, she was standing at the entrance to their apartment as her father crouched down by her mother's side, his body blocking Sae's view of the woman's face. It didn't stop her from seeing her mother's favourite white dress slowly turn redder and redder by the second as blood seeped across the floor, however.

"Sae, take Makoto and go to your room!" Her father barked, voice full of worry.

She'd hesitated, horrified fascination freezing her to the spot. Her mother's dress had been shredded as if torn up by a knife, exposing her skin to the world. Instead of its usual warm tone, however, it was pale, mottled by black marks that festered like an alien rot.

"Sae, do what I said, NOW!"

She jumped at her father's snarl, a sudden wave of fear hammering at her heart. He'd never shouted at her before. To the child, that was even more terrifying than the knowledge her mother was hurt. With a mute nod, Sae scooped up Makoto and ran as her baby sister began to cry.

By the time Sae slammed the room of her bedroom door shut and collapsed to her knees, Makoto wasn't the only one bawling. Worry and shame in equal measure choked her, and warm sticky tears dripped down her cheek while snot dribbled from her nose. She'd been shouted at, even though Sae hadn't done anything bad.

Deep down inside, it was also because a part of her instinctively knew she'd never see her mother again. Niijima Chihiro passed away several days later – sepsis, the doctors had said. Sae had simply nodded at the news, already feeling numb acceptance.

(From that moment onwards, the only thing Sae remembered with any certainty when she thought of her mother were the awful bruises mottling her leg.)

(It was also not the last time Sae saw her mother, even though she desperately wished she was.)

…..

Unlike Kurusu Akira, Sae always knew the difference between the living and the dead. It was a simple metric – if someone had a chain on their chests or looked blurry around the edges, they were ghosts, and people would think she was crazy if she talked to them, so she shouldn't. As she sat on a solitary swing in the playground, scowling as she kicked at a pebble on the ground, Sae thought it was a stupid rule – all the other kids thought she was a weirdo anyway. She'd never really fit in with them before her mother died, but it hadn't bothered Sae then. Now that her father was always at work and she only had Makoto to play with, it did. After all, her sister could barely even speak properly yet – quite frankly, Makoto was boring.

"A girl like you shouldn't be out here on your lonesome. Why don't you join the others?" A woman's voice cut through the distant hooting and hollering of her schoolmates, and Sae looked upwards, trying to school her expression into something more neutral – her father had said she wasn't supposed to frown at adults.

She wasn't one of the teachers – while her clothes were similar (a blazer over a white blouse and a professional skirt), she was too young and pretty to be any of her school's faculty members. Her silver hair was short and neat, and her chestnut brown eyes were kind, instead of judgemental.

(If Sae could actually remember her mother's face, and not just a dying bundle of blood and flesh, a lot of suffering could have been avoided. Alas, it wasn't.)

Sae paused for just a moment, before shrugging. "I'm not very fun to play with."

It wasn't like she hadn't tried to make friends. Kaede had told her to get lost though as she didn't play with nerds, and Sae couldn't join Hotaru's group since she didn't know how to play Featherman. She'd even tried hanging out with the boys, but they hadn't wanted her around either after she kept beating them at soccer. After a couple of months of trying and failing to fit in with everyone else, Sae had given up.

The woman frowned and sat down in the swing next to her. "I'm sure that's not true."

Sae's temper flared, as Kaede's insults and Hotaru's polite dismissal and the boys' anger flashed through her mind. "I don't want to play with them, okay?! Their games suck!"

(If the problem was with them, after all, it meant there wasn't anything wrong with her.)

It took Sae a second to realise she'd messed up. Firstly, even if she didn't like the other children, her father always said she needed to be the bigger person. As long as she kept being nice, they'd come around eventually. Saying they sucked was not being nice. Secondly, she'd shouted at an adult. Her homeroom teacher was going to be mad at her, and Sae hated disappointing people – it always made her feel so small.

Instead of reprimanding her though, much to Sae's surprise, the woman simply laughed and gave her a wink. "Well, I suppose that's true. You're a bit too mature for juvenile horseplay, right?"

Sae's eyes widened, as twin flashes of shock hit her. Nobody had ever validated the feelings of anger she had that bubbled under the surface, let alone an adult. Secondly, she'd said Sae was mature. Sae had been called smart, yes, but not mature, and she liked it.

The child preened. Sure, she was pretty sure the others were still playing Featherman, not horses, but the woman had still praised her. "You really think so?

The woman had leant forward, eyes sparkling. "I know so, Sae. Because unlike them, you're not just an ordinary child – you're a Quincy."

…..

Sae really should have realised there was something off with Chihiro, but you can call me Sensei from the start. After all, nothing good comes from a child socialising with a mysterious adult they met in a park – even if her Sensei was very good at hiding the fact that she was dead, it wasn't like Sae hadn't been taught about stranger danger at that point. It was not candy that Sensei offered her though, but knowledge. For a young child whose intelligence was the only trait they consistently received positive attention for, it was more enticing an offer than any sweet could be. While the other children played their games, Sae bunkered down in a quiet corner of the schoolyard and learned about things like Gintō, Reishi, Hollows, and on a far more mundane note, German.

It had taken the teacher and student combination a few months to deactivate the anti-Hollow charm her dad had tied to her schoolbag, and then another solid week for Sae to muster the courage to raid her mother's old jewellery box. She was brave enough to do it in the end though, and with a dozen vials of Gintō in her bag and a Quincy Cross around her wrist, with her Sensei's gentle guidance she'd killed her first Hollow. As with all things that weren't getting along with other children, it had been easy.

Even if the other kids thought she was weird (Kaede had started calling her No-Friends Niijima), she didn't care. Sae was a hero. Had Kaede ever shot a Hollow in the eye, destroying it before it could eat a thankful Whole? Oh, Hotaru liked playing the hero, that was for sure, but had she ever fought a vile monster quadruple her size? No, she hadn't – if Hotaru ever saw a Hollow, Sae bet she'd just run away screaming like a baby.

(In hindsight, part of the reason Sae had no friends back then was because she'd been completely insufferable.)

Sae was so intoxicated by her own ego, she never questioned any of it. What Hollows really were, and what happened to them once they disintegrated into dust. She never questioned why nobody else talked about her Sensei, even though Sae hung out with her every day. It wasn't until she was eleven that the first hole was blown into her so-called Sensei's cover.

Up until that point, the parent-teacher interview her and father were attending had been rather rote. Nakano (her boring, mundane teacher) had praised Sae's grades – top marks across the board, except for in art, which doesn't really matter. The girl had half-tuned her out, swinging her legs under her chair - she'd heard this a million times, after all - until her father gave her a subtle nudge.

"While Niijima-chan has been a delight to have in class, there is a couple of issues I'd like to flag…" Nakano cleared her throat, expression turning troubled.

Internally, Sae groaned. This was the part she hated – even though she was the smartest and sportiest and all-round best in her grade, none of that mattered since all of the other kids had decided they hated her.

Her father let out a rueful chuckle, scratching the back of his neck while he forced a lukewarm grin. "Still having trouble with the other students?"

Nakano looked tired. "It's a catch-22. She'd be under-stimulated in a younger class and that tends to make children act out. In the older class, while the work is engaging enough to keep her focussed, she's less socially developed than the rest of her peers, which leads to, well..."

Sae scowled mulishly. She wasn't childish!

Her teacher had then paused, hesitant. "… She's been playing a lot with an imaginary friend lately – while it hasn't caused any issues yet, if the other students catch her, it'll only make things worse."

Sae almost tumbled out of her seat, indignation exploding in her chest. What on earth is Nakano-sensei talking about?! Sae hadn't played with an imaginary friend since she was like, three! The only person she had been hanging out with lately had been Sensei… who nobody else had ever mentioned seeing. Oh.

Realisation plunged through Sae as the weight of her father's hand came down on her shoulder, just a tad too heavy to be reassuring. "… Don't worry, I'll talk to her about it later."

Suffice to say, the car trip home had been awkward. Sae was reeling – all this time, Sensei had been a ghost. It didn't make any sense. She wasn't even vaguely transparent, and there wasn't a chain around her chest. Ghosts always had those attributes unless they were Shinigami, but they waved around swords and only wore black instead.

Her father finally broached the topic about ten minutes from their home. "Sae, what did I tell you about talking to ghosts?"

She averted her gaze, grumbling. "… Not to do it."

"Exactly." He sighed, voice kind. "I'm sure your friend is very nice, but this world isn't safe for spirits. Tell them to find a Shinigami, and move on."

Slowly, reluctantly, she nodded. It was good advice, and while in hindsight, Sae wished she'd taken it, she acknowledged it was probably too late by then. Her Sensei had already started to move on from teaching her Gintō and archery to instructing her how to leech Reishi from a Hollow's skin even if doing so gave Sae very painful cases of pins and needles and made her feel queasy for days.

Instead, when Monday rolled around, Sae completely and utterly ignored everything her father said and stewing in righteous indignation, stormed over to their usual meeting place. "Why didn't you tell me you were a ghost?!"

An awful silence hung over the dusty alcove, and her teacher's eyes, normally a warm golden brown, were eerily empty. The woman stood up and when she stepped towards Sae, her movements seemed oddly mechanical, her footsteps just a tad too quiet.

A brief flicker of alarm crossed the child's mind, but it vanished when her Sensei gave her a beaming smile. "Because you're a good girl, and you never would have let me teach you how to be a Quincy if you knew I was a ghost, would you?"

Sae hesitated, before scuffing her foot. "… No."

A silent agreement passed between them. As upset as Sae had felt, she knew her teacher was correct. If Sensei hadn't lied, Sae never would have discovered her powers, and who would she be without them?

Chihiro's expression softened (except for her eyes, Sae should have been paying attention to her damn eyes), and she ruffled her student's hair, with her sturdy, cold hands. "For what it's worth, I am sorry. I never wanted to lie to you."

While the sensation was odd – Sae didn't think she'd ever touched a ghost before – the motion was familiar, soothing. She hadn't felt anything like it in years. Breath hitching in her throat, Sae's eyes widened, as a hurricane of fear and hope began to whirl in her stomach.

She attempted to swallow her nausea, but despite her suspicions, she dared not make an assumption lest she was wrong. "Who… who are you, really?"

A beatific grin spread across the woman's face, and her eyes glowed gold in the sunlight.

(Sae should have realised it was a sign.)

…..

Sae had scoffed internally when she realised how wary Yoruichi was about her powers. If she thought Sae was bad, she knew nothing about what a Quincy was truly capable of. The prosecutor's arsenal was basic at best, even if she was good at what she did. Reishi could be used for more than enhancing strength and making weapons, however. Niijima Chihiro never had the raw power of her daughter, but she'd been able to use her powers in far more subtle, insidious ways. It wouldn't have taken her much effort to hide the chain dangling from her chest under a thin layer of Reishi, and unfortunately, that was one of the few Quincy abilities she retained after her Hollowfication.

Considering she'd hidden her ghostly nature from Sae for over a year, it really shouldn't have come as a surprise she was lying about something else. There was a reason 'fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me' was a saying – a small betrayal was nothing but a prelude for a larger one. If Sae had to give the monster her mother turned into one begrudging acknowledgement, it would be that she at least held out several years before she eventually snapped. It was probably the only reason Sae was still alive.

While Sae's social life remained… well, somewhat subpar (she was confident though she'd be able to fix that come high school, if only because Iwasaki Kaede wasn't going to Shujin), she was still the smartest child in her grade by far. Where she'd truly blossomed however was with her spiritual powers. She could traverse the endless sandy plains of Hueco Mundo without breaking a sweat, felling Gillian and sometimes even Adjuchas-class Hollows with her Heilig Bogen. Mother hadn't even had to intervene in months, a fact that had brought a bubble of pride into Sae's stomach, and in hindsight, made her feel sick.

(Your average Hollow is merely one soul. A Menos, however…)

Unfortunately though, as Sae's abilities developed, so did those of her bullies. Being called No-Friends Niijima was one thing. Having homophobic slurs scrawled across her shoe locker was another. She barely managed to make it back to her hideout before she burst into tears. Her father probably would have said it was a testament to her strength. Sae, however, just felt awful. She spent that afternoon sobbing into her mother's embrace, a maelstrom of anger and shame storming within her as her mother whispered soothing platitudes into her ear, stroking her back with her steely hands.

"I hate them! How – how dare they!" Snot and tears dribbled down Sae's face, only adding to her humiliation. "I put my life on the line fighting Hollows every day, and they treat me like this?!" She wiped her face on her sleeve – gross, but it wasn't like she had much of a choice. "They should be worshipping me!"

"I know, I know." While her mother's voice was level, Sae could detect a hint of a growl.

Eventually, though, Sae's tears ran dry, and the duo separated. "All done?" Her mother asked, gold eyes scanning Sae's body.

Just as Sae had rocketed in height over the last couple of years, her mother had changed too. Dark waves of hair cascaded down her back – it was even longer than Sae's by now. Long gone was her business suit of old – instead, she'd donned a set of ornate, bone-white armour. Some Quincy thing, judging by the colour. Sae idly wondered if she'd ever get a set of her own.

Maybe I will when I stop being pathetic.

Sae just bottled her thoughts, however, and nodded. "Yes - sorry." The terrified shame she'd felt before had dripped out of her with her tears, leaving behind an empty space that had been filled with tiredness and a small but noxious undercurrent of anger. "I just… wish I could do something about them." Sae clenched her fists. "But I can't, because they're humans."

"… Don't worry, honey." Her Sensei purred. "Karma will catch up to them eventually."

…..

By eventually, Niijima Chihiro meant approximately twenty-three hours. Iwasaki Kaede, Egawa Hikari, Amano Chie, and Fujimoto Kanon were on their way to the Aoyama station when they were attacked by what police believed to be a wild animal judging by the way the girl's corpses were gored and partially eaten.

It was not until the day after that Sae received the news, however, delivered by her grim-faced principal in an emergency assembly. Four students had passed away in an incident the day before last, and while there would be some police presence around the school just in case, it was not believed any other students were at risk. By the time Sae staggered out of the assembly hall, she was numb. She'd hated Iwasaki and her friends and had wanted nothing more than to never set eyes on them again. That didn't mean she wanted something like this to happen, however.

While this wasn't technically the first time Sae had experienced death, her mother barely counted – Sae had been a child back then, and then her mother had stayed on this planet as a ghost. Now though, she was old enough to understand exactly how utterly horrific it was. Iwasaki and her friends were barely been a year older than she was, and now they were dead. They'd never even get to go to high school, and their friends and families would never see them again. What if it had been her? Or Makoto?

It was then that a terrible thought tickled the back of Sae's mind. The principal had said incident, not accident. What if…?

Scanning the hallways, she caught sight of Iwamoto Hotaru surrounded by a loose gaggle of students. Mustering her nerve, she strode over.

"I'm sorry about Fujimoto – I know she was a friend of yours." Sae murmured.

The fact that Iwamoto didn't even think it was odd that Sae had approached her was a testament to how shocked the other girl must be feeling. "'S okay." She shrugged. "We haven't – hadn't hung out in a while."

Sae bit her lip, and smothered the brief wave of nerves that rose in her. "What happened?"

…..

Niijima Sae, age thirteen, was a fucking idiot, but she was smarter than Niijima Sae, aged… well, anything prior to that. Suffice to say, when Iwamoto told her that Iwasaki and her friends had been eaten, it hadn't taken long for Sae to put two-and-two together. Golden eyes that had once been brown. White bone armour. Hair that had grown out in the blink of an eye even though it had taken Sae years to get the same results. Cold, heavy hands, that felt nothing like flesh at all. The tingling that always ran through Sae's arms whenever she channelled Reishi around her. The way she'd approached Sae, but never her dad, the man she was supposed to love…

Sae wanted to scream.

They'd been working together for years. Almost every fucking day, Sae had toddled to her mother's side, completely blind to the woman's true nature. Whenever she did something odd, Sae just dismissed it, too hungry for the woman's love and support to think critically about her at all. And now, because of that, four people were dead.

Sae excused herself from class, claiming she needed to go to the bathroom, and barely even heard the teacher's response. Walking as if she was in a trance, she found her feet taking her to the clearing she went to nearly every day. Clouds blotted out the sun, and a chilling breeze laced with the scent of rot swirled through the air as Sae reached her final destination. When she arrived, her mother was already waiting for her. Her back was facing Sae, and her long hair swayed in the wind. (It was too wild, too greasy, and had her Sensei always been so tall?)

"You should be in class, Sae." Chihiro's voice was mild and did nothing to dissipate the tension in the air, which was as thick and heavy as the static before a storm.

The reprimand normally would have scoured Sae like claws, but today, it didn't budge her heart an inch. Several years ago, she'd asked her mother a probing question, half-certain she knew who she was yet fearing the disappointment she'd feel if she was wrong. There was no need for thinly veiled questions now, though. Today, the truth would finally come out.

(It would be worse than what Sae could have imagined.)

"You… what have you done?"

A rictus grin spread across her mother's face, and for a second, her body seemed to flicker. "I dispensed justice, naturally. I won't allow some mere humans to harm you."

Bile rose to the back of Sae's throat. She hadn't even bothered to deny it. A hysterical laugh pealed out of her mouth. "Are you mad?! They were just some stupid schoolyard bullies I'd never see again after a couple of months! I didn't want them to die!"

Her mentor remained silent, and Sae suddenly realised there was no point. Just as shouting at a brick wall would not get it to budge, there was no point attempting to reason with a monster. No logic would ever sway someone who thought it was reasonable to murder several middle school students. Sae's anger and betrayal and dismay and grief faded, as the familiar weight of her Heilig Bogen settled in her hand. Instead, the icy calmness of a hunter stalking their prey rolled over her, smothering her emotions as surely as the evening frost smothered the grass.

"… You're finally ready, aren't you?" There was no anger in her mother's voice, or even shock that Sae had seen through her façade. Instead, she wore a blissful smile that made every hair on the back of Sae's neck prickle.

As her mother finally abandoned her disguise, the wave of Reiatsu that flooded off her smashed into Sae with the force of a hurricane. She didn't allow herself to falter as the flood of dark, oily spiritual power cloyed the air - it was no worse than any excursion into Hueco Mundo, after all. When she finally saw the true form of her beloved Sensei, however, Sae couldn't help but take an involuntary step back.

While the creature that stood where her mother once had was humanoid, it certainly wasn't human. A wicked, horned helm covered the beast's head, a porcelain surface broken by a sharp-toothed maw. Hair spooled down the Hollow's back like a mane, and the armour – carapace – that covered her body was no longer white, but an awful, rusted grey, and covered her head-to-toe if you ignored the cylindrical hole in her chest.

When Sae met her eyes, she looked into two yellow slits.

She tried to ignore her mounting sense of fear and focussed on the facts. Sae was strong and fast, but the monster that had once been her mother knew all her tricks – hell, she was the person that taught them to her. Meanwhile, Sae was fighting blind. Not to mention, the more humanoid a Hollow was, the bigger a threat they were, and Sensei had four limbs and was only ten feet tall. In the end, Sae decided to go on the defensive and get a gauge of the beast's skills before she struck.

Chihiro made no attempt to move, however, and after ten uneasy seconds, spoke. "Now, for your final lesson."

"Lesson?! I don't want to learn anything from you!" Sae hissed, half-tempted to fire her bow.

Her mother merely shrugged, and while it was impossible to read her true expression behind a Hollow mask, Sae had the sneaking suspicious she was smiling. "Knowledge is power, Sae, and I want to give you all the power I can. Do you know what Hollows are?"

"Of course I do!" Sae snapped. "They're monsters!"

"Yes, but what ARE they? Sentient beings don't just spontaneously appear in this world, Sae. Everything is connected to the cycle of souls." Her mother inched the slightest step forward, and Sae took the slightest step back. "Let's approach this from a different angle. I know your father has told you to stay away from Wholes. Do you know why?"

Sae didn't drop her guard an inch. "Because talking to them would make me look mad." She narrowed her eyes. No, there was more to it than that – Hollows were attracted to Wholes. "… Because they're dangerous?"

"Well done!" The Hollow preened, sending a shudder down Sae's spine. "You're right – Wholes ARE dangerous. In high numbers, they attract Hollows, and more importantly… when their Chains of Fate erode, they BECOME Hollows themselves."

Sae froze. All this time… she'd been fighting people? She'd thought her mother was an aberration – a weak woman that had sold her humanity for strength, or perhaps an entity that had never been her mother at all. She hadn't considered that she was the rule, not the exception.

"… Okay, but why does that matter?" Sae narrowed her eyes. The Hollow was clearly up to something, but she had no idea what.

Chihiro ignored her, however, going off on a new tangent. "Tell me… what is the most important thing in the world?"

Sae wrinkled her nose. "Justice?"

"No. Power!" She spread her arm apart like she was making some grandiose statement. "Everything I've done, I've done to make you stronger, and it is time for you to receive your final gift. I believe you were wondering why humans and Hollows being one and the same mattered?" Sae didn't bother replying, but her mother seemed happy to continue her monologue without prompting. "Because a Hollow's body is not controlled by its original owner, but by the most dominant soul it has consumed! You, a Quincy prodigy with talent unseen for a thousand years…? With the physical prowess of a Hollow, you would be unstoppable! I will consume you, and give this body to YOU!"

Whatever Sae excepted her mother to say, it wasn't that. Eyes widening, a burst of hysterical laughter filled the clearing, and it took Sae a second to realise it was coming from her. That was her mother's plan? That was what she'd been working towards for all these years?!

"You're… you're completely insane!" Sae barked, incredulous. To hell with this – she'd had enough. Her Heilig Bogen snapped taut as Sae prepared to fire. "If you think I'm going to let you eat me, you've got another thing coming!"

Leering, her mother stepped forward, jaw slowly parting as a glob of saliva dripped down from her mouth. "Oh, but you ARE. Because you're a good girl, Sae."

Sae's arm glowed with the red light Blut Arterie, as she launched half a dozen arrows in the Hollow's direction before flashing several metres backwards. Most of the arrows bounced off the monster's armour harmlessly, but some dug into the gaps between each plate, cracking the Hollow's carapace as they pierced her skin. Chihiro examined the arrows idly before ripping them out, and a flicker of panic sparked in Sae's chest as she saw the wounds vanish almost immediately. Strong defences, and near-instant regeneration. Sae notched another arrow in her Heilig Bogen. The only way she'd end this was with a powerful blow to the Hollow's vitals - she needed to kill it before it could heal itself again.

Her Sensei didn't make any further move to attack, however. "Tell me, Sae. What happens when a Hollow dies?"

Sae's blood froze. She'd never really thought about that – she'd barely even considered them sentient. The teenager bit her lip. "They… reincarnate, right?"

That was how the cycle of souls worked – when a soul passed on, they swapped sides. Living became dead, and dead became living.

An awful chuckle tore its way out of her mother's throat. "Oh, sometimes. That's what a Shinigami's pathetic blade does, anyway. But we are no Shinigami, we are QUINCIES! We do not cleanse Hollows – we purge their blight from existence itself. There is no afterlife for the souls we slay, only destruction!"

Sae's breath caught in her lungs, as she staggered backwards, dread rising in her stomach. "You're lying." Her voice wavered. She had to be lying. It couldn't be true. She couldn't have…

Her mother's eyes lit up in mirth. "Don't be naïve, darling. It's in our name – Quincy, monk of destruction!" The Hollow then leant forward, mock pity in its voice. "And you wouldn't destroy your own mother's soul, would you?"

Sae barely noticed it as the Heilig Bogen in her hands spluttered and died. Static roared in her ears, and her lungs burned as she began to hyperventilate. All this time, all these years, she'd been killing people. She hadn't been saving anyone, but damning them to an eternity of nothingness. Assuming she killed several Hollows a week, over the course of three years… that was hundreds of souls. But wait, that didn't account for Menos class Hollows, who consisted of over a thousand souls each. Did each of those individual souls perish, too?

Horror crashed into her like a tidal wave. I've potentially killed tens of thousands of people.

She was so caught up in her whirlwind of emotions, Sae didn't consciously notice it when her mother attacked. It was only raw instinct that made her move, her Blut Vene automatically flaring to life. It probably saved her life – instead of sinking her fangs into Sae's heart, the Hollw only managed to tear off her left arm. As her muscles tore and nerves disconnected a burst of agony snapped Sae out of her trance. Gasping, the world seemed to slow down as warm blood seeped through her uniform and her mother pulled away.

Sae didn't think. There was no room in her mind for thoughts, only the terrible, primal fear of a cornered animal. Shoving her remaining arm out, Sae reached for all the Reishi she could find, and pulled. Fortunately for Sae, her mother had taught her well. Too well. The Hollow's carapace buckled before shattering into fragments that rushed towards her daughter. Limb and bone disintegrated, and by the time Sae had finished pulling, half of her mother's body was gone. The influx of foreign Reishi flooded through her like a burst dam, but her mother had been right when she called Sae a prodigy. Wrestling the energy under control, she pushed it out to where her missing arm had once been. If her mother could regenerate, and Sae had stolen her Reishi, that meant she could regenerate too, correct?

Her theory was correct. Her veins burned with power, every atom of her being feeling like it was being torn apart before reforming, and her body acted on instinct. A wave of purple Reishi burst out of the stump, reforming into the shape of her arm, before solidifying into flesh. Her mother's golden eyes widened, and while the patches of her body Sae had absorbed were already beginning to regenerate, it was too late. Sae's Heilig Bogen flared to life in a supernova of violet, and she shot the Hollow straight through its remaining eye.

…..

She was in a daze for the entire trip to the hospital. After her final attack, her mother was gone, gone, gone, gone, and the blood that had soaked her shirt was starting to grow cold. She barely registered it when a flurry of people raced to her side, words like blood loss and shock piercing the din.

She must have fainted – in her next concrete memory she was sitting in the hospital bed, IV plugged into her arm as something beeped in the distance. While there wasn't a single cut on her skin, her body felt wrong, heavy and unfamiliar like she'd been placed in a Gigai. Everything felt wrong. Everything was wrong.

Her eyes flicked to the side where her father sat, silent like a stone gargoyle. Makoto wasn't there, which was probably for the best – while Sae hadn't been capable of feeling anything more than a dark, deep emptiness at the time, she knew she didn't want her sister to see her like this.

"Father… Quincy powers… they don't actually destroy souls, right?" Sae's voice was hoarse and scratchy, but even then a hint of pure desperation seeped through.

Her father sighed, sweeping a hand through his hair, looking oh so very tired. "… I'm sorry, Sae."

He didn't meet her eyes.

(He never met her eyes, after that day.)

She ended up being discharged two days later. It wasn't like there was anything physically wrong with her, after all. At least nothing any human doctors could see, anyway. Sae knew better though. Her Reiatsu, once a vibrant violet light, tasted like rust. When she cut a line into the tip of her finger with her nail, she watched dispassionately as the wound sealed shut.

(There was a dense, cloying weight in her brain, and when she entered her inner world for the first time, she found a monster. Sometimes it spoke to her, and at her weakest moments, Sae spoke back. No matter how much she hated it – hated herself – it was the last thing her mother ever gave her, after all. Occasionally, the Hollow was useful – it was how she'd discovered the power of Vollständig, for one. Normally though, it just took the anger that was already festering in Sae's heart and poured on gasoline. The older she grew, the more she ignored it, but it always got the last laugh in the end.)

Despite her suspicions, however, she hadn't quite yet confirmed them as her father drove her back home. The trip was silent - Sae didn't want to talk, and her father seemed to respect that. As they finally arrived at their apartment, Makoto greeted her at the door, eyes warm and bubbly like she wasn't looking at a murderer, and Sae immediately turned on her heel and marched into her room, ignoring her sister's protests.

It didn't take her long to gather all of her spiritual belongings. Putting her notes in a pile, she placed her vials of Gintō and Quincy Cross on top, before sweeping it up in her arms. She'd almost reached the door when her father's calloused hand clasped gently around her wrist.

"Where are taking that?" He still wasn't meeting her eyes.

Not like Sae cared. The girl shrugged. "I'm getting rid of it." If there was one thing Sae was certain of, it was that she wanted nothing to do with the World of the Dead ever again.

A huff of air left his nose, and he took the notes and Gintō from her arms before passing her back the Quincy Cross. "Keep it. I'll deal with these."

Sae recoiled, disgust flashing across her face. "Are you mad?! If you don't remember, this thing destroys people's souls!"

"I'm not suggesting you use it. It's just for self-defence." Her father quickly tried to pacify her. "Maybe… try reforging it? To get rid of the memories. Chihi- I've heard it's fairly typical for Quincy to do that."

Silently, Sae shoved the chain into her pocket like it was on fire. It was on that day that she made a promise. As lovely as the buzzwords self-defence and didn't know any better her father threw around were, Sae didn't believe them a lick (and nor did she think he believed them, either). She'd committed the gravest of crimes, but there was no justice to be found for her in the law. So, she'd have to make her own. In the end, Sae decided to do what she did best and excel. She'd leave the World of the Dead in her past, and focus on becoming the very best human she could possibly be. If she was successful enough, if she could contribute to society enough, maybe it would make up for the futures that Iwasaki and her friends had lost.

(And maybe, if she just worked hard enough, she could lessen this awful, awful guilt).

…..

A horrified silence followed the end of Sae's tale. An awful, sinking feeling had entered Makoto's stomach the second her sister mentioned the identity of the ghost who'd mentored her, but she'd desperately hoped it wasn't true. Bile rose up to the back of her throat as she clasped a hand over her mouth. Her mother had manipulated Sae for years, and then tried to murder her. Makoto shuddered, suddenly understanding just how terrible Hollowfication truly was. For the briefest of moments, she thought the Quincies' habit of destroying souls was quite possibly justified.

Makoto clearly wasn't the only person affected – Yoruichi's mouth had narrowed into a thin slit, and Uryū's porcelain skin had grown sheet white. Sae, meanwhile, hadn't been able to meet anyone's eyes since the midpoint of her tale, and instead stared into the horizon, eyes brimming with exhausted grief.

"… You know, I was so jealous of you, Makoto." A bitter laugh escaped Sae's throat. "You were just an ordinary human who could spend their life worrying about trivial things like teen romance and cram school, instead of being some soul-destroying abomination."

Makoto's stomach flipped. Sae had always been cutting, but Makoto had never heard her speak with quite so much hatred in her voice. The fact that it was directed at herself chilled her to her bones. She slowly stepped forward, as if approaching a wounded animal (it was an apt analogy, because Sae was very clearly deeply, deeply hurt). Placing her hands on her sister's shoulders, Makoto forced Sae to meet her eyes, and ignored the twinge that the thought her father hadn't even managed to do that caused – that was something to unpack at a later date. The brunette had something more important to do.

"Sae… you're not an abomination."

Sae's eyes widened in incredulous shock. "Makoto, I'm not sure if you heard me, but I destroyed our mother's soul."

Makoto resisted the petty urge to say and she deserved it. Instead, she furrowed her brows. "Because she forced you to. If she hadn't fed you half-truths and lies, you never would have used your powers. If you were a monster, Sae, you wouldn't feel so guilty."

Then, before she could offer a single word of protest, Makoto enveloped her sister in her arms and squeezed her into a tight hug. Sae stiffened, but slowly, Makoto felt her muscles relax, until Sae cautiously returned the gesture, resting her head on Makoto's shoulder.

"Hah…" Sae's voice wobbled. "Yet again, your wisdom catches me off-guard."

Warmth blossomed in Makoto's chest, and her lips automatically curled into a soft smile. If her shoulder suddenly grew a bit damper, she was feeling magnanimous enough to not mention it. Of course, that was when a sudden burst of Reiatsu sent both the sisters stumbling, and Makoto's head snapped in the direction of the explosion.

The first thing she noticed was the rancid, bubbling darkness it consisted of - it could only be Hollow Reiatsu. Despite that, though, there some something almost familiar about it…

Makoto's blood then turned to ice. Akira!

Uryū's eyes widened in horror, clearly realising the same thing she had. While Sae and Yoruichi might not have connected the dots yet, it was obvious they both realised something was drastically wrong.

"Stay here." The dark-skinned woman ordered. "I'll-"

Makoto paid no attention to the rest of her words, however, outrage blistering in her chest. If Yoruichi thought she was just going to stay back, she had something else coming. Slipping into shunpo, Makoto darted across the training ground in a flash. When she came to a stop, Yoruichi had already caught up to her and shot Makoto an irritated glare, but the woman suddenly cut herself off, eyes widening. Wakaba and Tessai stood across the clearing, backs facing the new arrivals as Sae and Uryū joined them. A strange machine was assembled at Wakaba's side, and Tessai chanted, hands held in some sort of sigil. Neither of them was the source of the toxic Reiatsu that flooded the basement, however.

Between them, a figure writhed on its knees with a sword held tightly in its bloody grip. For a second, Makoto could see nothing but Akira's familiar mop of dark hair and felt a slither of hope. It was dashed the second the boy wrenched up his head, revealing it was covered in an unmistakable white mask.

…..

Akira staggered, a wave of vertigo almost bowling him over. Distantly, he remembered there was something he had to do. Something important. He tried to wrestle himself to his feet, only to find himself tumbling to the ground again. It was then that he realised he wasn't just disorientated – the ground was shaking beneath him. An earthquake?

His head ached and Akira let out a hacking cough as a tickling sensation formed at the back of his throat, but he shoved those feelings to the side as he tried to focus on his surroundings. The first thing the teen noticed was the bars. An alarm blared in his mind, and he peered over his shoulder, jolting when he realised where he was – a prison cell. It was dark, with a faint musty scent, and Akira could feel dampness on his skin. The cell was made from rich indigo bricks, the cool hue only accentuating the gloom of his surroundings. Akira itched his neck – his clothes were gone, replaced by a scratchy prison uniform. But that's odd. I wasn't wearing a shirt…

Realisation then hit him like a truck. Shit! He was meant to be looking for his Zanpakutō spirit!

Wide awake now, panic raced through his body as the room quaked again, accompanied by the sound of crumbling stone - he'd wasted ten seconds already at the bare minimum. Akira already knew there was nothing behind him, so his only choice was to go forward. Bracing himself, he tried to push open the barred door, only for his fear to turn to dread when he realised it was locked.

He shoved it again and again, his every breath growing quicker as his desperation mounted. Heart pounding now – he had five seconds left – Akira took several steps backwards, before throwing his entire body at the door in a futile attempt to break it open.

"God dammit, show yourself already!" He roared. "How the hell am I meant to save Rukia if I turn into a bloody Hollow?!"

This time, when he threw himself against the door it flew open, and he toppled to the ground in a heap, banging his shoulder. He had no time to whinge, however, and Akira staggered to his feet. Row upon row of cells surrounded him in a circular loop, the monotony only broken by a golden desk that stood starkly in the centre of the room.

Upon it, a figure was sprawled in a pose that was half-elegant, half-indolent. The man was lanky, and his face was covered by a black mask with glowing red coals for eyes and teeth. In constant to his demonic head, the rest of his outfit was almost dapper. A ridiculously large top hat was perched on his head, and he wore a scarlet jacket over a dark suit vest, accompanied by a fluttering cravat. The man's legs were obscured by thigh-high boots the same hue as his jacket – overall, he straddled the fine line between classy and audacious. Despite that, hints of his more monstrous nature leaked through – from the pointed claws his fingers curved into, to the dark wings that protruded from his back.

"I see thou hast gathered thine resolve again." The being spoke, voice dark and echoing, and while Akira should probably be afraid of the ominous demon before him he only felt a sense of kinship. "Very well. Heed my words, Kurusu Akira. My name is…"

…..

"Steal their hearts, Tasogare no Dorobō!" Akira roared, a flood of blazing Reiatsu pumping through his veins as his Zanpakutō changed form.

Weights covered both his wrists and hands – an odd fusion between a cuff and a clawed gauntlet. The ridges on the dark metal had been styled to look like feathers and he could tell they were wickedly sharp – Akira knew he wouldn't want to be punched by someone wearing these things. A chain looped around Akira's back, connecting the twin gauntlets. Though, perhaps calling them twins was a misnomer – they weren't quite identical. An extra tendril of chain dangled down from his right gauntlet and was attached to the hilt of the same kris dagger he'd thrown into Abarai's chest. Meanwhile, there was a strange contraption on top of his left-hand gauntlet. Experimentally, he flexed his wrist. The chain attached to the dagger shrunk until it was barely ten centimetres long, while simultaneously, a grappling hook shot out of his other hand before landing harmlessly against the floor.

"Huh, neat." He mused, clearing his throat as his voice came out oddly deep. Sealing his Zanpakutō, Akira felt Tasogare no Dorobō's amusement.

He turned back to Wakaba, excitement bubbling through him, and suddenly noticed he had an audience. The psientist's expression was wary, and he could see the tension in her shoulders. Meanwhile, Tessai had taken a battle stance, the incantation on his lips faltering as Akira turned to face him. Makoto, Ishida, Sae, and some other woman were all there as well. Makoto's eyes were wide with horror as she stared at him like he was a ghost, while Sae was pale and drawn, looking two seconds away from throwing up. Even Ishida's eyes were narrowed in tension, his Heilig Bogen drawn and notched. While they hadn't arrived yet, in the distance, he could feel Ann, Ryuji, and Urahara's Reiatsu rapidly approaching.

It was only then that Akira noticed the heaviness on his face. Reaching upwards, his hands met something smooth, and with a light tug, Akira removed it from his face. As he looked over the object, he finally realised why everyone was so freaked out. It was almost identical to the mask his Zanpakutō spirit wore, except the teeth were sharp and protruding and the eyeholes empty, surrounded by black markings that almost seemed like eyelashes. There was one other key difference, however – it was a pale white. Hollow white. Akira's eyes widened as his heart skipped a beat, but on cue, the mask began to disintegrate until Akira's hands were empty.

The sense of relief that fell over the clearing was palpable – everyone's Reiatsu dropped, and the tension left Ishida's shoulders as his spirit bow began to fade.

Makoto was the first to break the stalemate. "Akira!" She squealed, before dashing to his side and engulfing him in a hug. "Are you alright?!"

He was about to say never better when a wave of exhaustion flooded over him, and he half-collapsed on her shoulder. "Been worse." He eventually managed to wheeze, blinking the fatigue from his eyes.

Now that the silence was broken, everyone suddenly sprung to life.

Sae whirled on Wakaba, still eerily pale, but some of her usual fire was beginning to re-enter her eyes. "What the actual fuck is wrong with you?!"

"A little warning next time would be nice." The unfamiliar woman drawled, crossing her arms as she strolled towards Tessai and the scientist.

An irritated huff escaped Sae's throat, and throwing her hands up into the air, she disappeared in a flash of shunpo (or whatever the Quincy equivalent was).

Makoto frowned. "… Ah. Uryū-kun, can you help me with Akira? I should probably check on Sae." She then turned to Akira. "She's… had a bad experience related to Hollowfication before." Makoto's eyes then narrowed. "And don't think we're not going to have words about this later."

As Ishida moved to help them, Akira grimaced and decided to ignore the second part of her sentence. "Pass on my apologies to Sae-san, would you? I didn't mean to freak her out"

Makoto nodded, gently easing him off her shoulder and onto Ishida's before flickering away in a flash of shunpo. She'd barely been gone for two seconds before Akira's vision went dark and his knees gave way beneath him.

Tasogare no Dorobō - theoretically Japanese for 'Pillager of Twilight'. Akira's Shikai. Its exact powers will be explored sooner rather than later.