Remember that you have to die.
If she ever makes it to heaven, she'll ask God why humans can't fly. In the pitch blackness of night, Kikyo is unbothered by her blindness. In lieu of sight, she is able to feel something other than bitterness and duty for the first time since coming out of purgatory. She feels liberated and certain that she was born to fly, above problems and pettiness, above love that so cruelly twists into hatred in the blink of an eye.
Sesshomaru is unfazed. He's used to it, she thinks. But how could soaring through the clouds ever get old?
Speaking of duty, she peels herself away from the wonder of flight and reviews what she knows about petrification magic. After ten hours, the spell begins to take root, requiring high-level incantations that are considered a lost art.
"You haven't frozen to death, have you? You seem to be petrified yourself." Sesshomaru's voice booms over the battering wind around them.
"I'm thinking, and in case you've forgotten, I'm already dead," she says, dismissing him.
He sucks his teeth, surprised she can muster a sense of humor, albeit morbid and dry. He wants to know what she's thinking because if she can't lift the spell, he could quite literally drop her this instant and be on with his business.
"You said the curse could be permanent," he says, loosening his hold on her.
"It can. Depending on the situation, it could take several hours for me to undo the spell."
Hearing this, Sesshomaru picks up the pace just to the point of being capable of destroying her body. Kikyo clutches him tightly, glaring at him despite her eyes being closed from the wind pressure.
"If you could go this quickly all along, why not do so from the start? I told you we had to hurry!"
He ignores her, grunting when she curls her body against him. He slows down a little but she shakes her head into his chest.
"Keep going. I'll be alright."
He blasts off, holding her fetal form tight and hoping she's stronger than she looks.
Breezing towards a familiar campfire, he finds Kaito and his retainers where he left them. He lands, setting Kikyo down without any care and she stumbles a bit, adrenaline from the flight still coursing through her. Kaito rushes to her. Her internal defenses flare up, but she accepts his hand when she remembers she is there to offer her help.
"Easy, there," he says, cutting his eyes at Sesshomaru. "You'll have to forgive him. Still learning his manners."
At that, Kikyo gives him a small smile. Kaito steps back to get a good look at her and clasps her hands in his. Kikyo is beside herself with surprise.
"I'd heard that you'd been revived but seeing you is truly an honor. I know our kind are like oil and water but your goodness is legendary. If not for you, I would still be mired in hatred for humans."
Sesshomaru schools his face before anyone can detect his blatant disbelief in what he's hearing. He certainly hopes Kaito didn't mean humans when he spoke of him needing friends. The ground stops feeling foreign to Kikyo and she straightens her body.
"I fear we have no time to waste. Can you tell me how long your people have been afflicted, Kaito?"
Kaito nods and leads everyone back to the mountains. As they draw closer, Kikyo makes out many door-like openings carved into them, some covered with tapestries. They journey up a steep incline, Kaito's arm linked with Kikyo's, much to Sesshomaru's disgust.
They reach a large manor above the cliffside homes. Kaito's right hand, Taro, lights a fire when they enter and, one by one, dozens of candles alight to illuminate the foyer in which they stand. All around are petrified jackals in various stony states of shock. Kikyo sighs at the children, a fear meant for all eternity etched on their faces.
"Despicable," she hisses. "How did this happen?"
Kaito shakes his head. His anger begins to take the form of a deep purple aura enveloping him.
"A stranger came to us three nights ago with a shard of the shikon jewel, promising to strengthen our tribe. These are dangerous times and in my desire to protect my people, I trusted him. His only goal, however, was to destroy us. I and my retainers were able to drive him away, but not before our tribe was lost."
Sesshomaru hums, thinking to himself but doesn't speak. Kikyo requests a few items; a basin of water and thunder god vine. Working the plant and water into a paste, she anoints the foreheads of each petrified jackal.
"I have commanded their spirits to flow. Since they've been like this for days, I must pray over them. I am uncertain how long it will take, but you all will need to leave."
Without another word, Kaito ushers his retainers, Sesshomaru and Jaken out, closing the door of the manor behind him.
"Tell me, Kaito," Sesshomaru says, "did the stranger with the shikon jewel shard wear a baboon fur and mask?"
"Yes, but how do you know that?"
"He made a pitiful attempt on my life as well. I'd like to pay him back for that." Sesshomaru's eyes gleam, exalted by the star and moonlight.
Kikyo sits cross-legged with her hands palms up. Beads of sweat form at her hairline and roll down her neck. She can't sense a bit of life even after a half hour of chanting. There wasn't any doubt in her abilities when Sesshomaru originally told her the situation, but attempting to revive nearly a hundred petrified jackals and considering the shikon jewel's enhancement of the spell taxes her power. The amount of focus required feels superhuman.
The mind can do very little to prevent intrusive thoughts but she knows that discipline can change her reaction to them. Right now, it takes all of her discipline to make good on her word and not feed the image of Inuyasha so close to Kagome's side. Logically, she knows she and Inuyasha were deceived but what does life mean if love is so fickle? Her hatred and bitterness feel stronger than love ever did.
"And what does that say about me?" she thinks.
The power in her incantations begins to wane and she steels herself once more. But another thought comes. Sesshomaru. She's seen him more in the last couple of days than she thought she ever would. He'd always seemed as elusive as smoke the few times Inuyasha mentioned him. Before she can ponder it any further, a red thread of energy appears connecting each petrified jackal to one another. Her eyes fly open and she sighs; the ritual completed. The mark on the jackals' foreheads glows red as well.
Fanning away her sweat, she rises and joins the others outside. Kaito is stoic but his eyes shimmer with hopefulness.
"It is only a matter of time now before they return to themselves. The stone will simply fade away."
Kaito takes her hands again and pulls her into a dance. The apples of Kikyo's cheeks turn a sickening shade of pink. Kaito's retainers join in, cheering for her while Sesshomaru and Jaken observe them with a look of loathing that could kill a man. Kaito finally releases Kikyo and bows.
"Milady, welcome back to the land of the living. It is brighter with you in it," he muses. "Pardon my ignorance, Sesshomaru. I judged you friendless, but it appears you prefer quality over quantity."
Sesshomaru takes great effort to bite his tongue and nod. Kikyo glares at him for a second, then returns her attention to Kaito. She can't help noting how charming he is and all of his praise flatters a part of her that she believed couldn't be revived.
"I believe a feast is in order. Our tribe will live again and I suspect they'll be hungry after such an ordeal. Sesshomaru, Kikyo, Master Jaken, join us."
Having no need of food, Kikyo foregos it. Despite missing the taste of Kaede's rice porridge, it seems cruel to eat and deprive the living when harvests are so unpredictable. But Kaito insists and he is as adept at roasting meat as he is at flattery. Kikyo places chunks of savory meat atop a steaming bowl of rice, garnishing it with green onion. Kaito and the other jackals watch her, fascinated. She feels their eyes on her and looks up.
"My apologies. Is it not time to eat?" she asks.
"Of course it is. We brutes just aren't used to such delicacy. Well, Sesshomaru is. He is utterly refined in all he does, aren't you, Sesshomaru." Kaito laughs.
Sesshomaru, also having no need of human food but wanting to keep Kaito in a good mood, says nothing. He does, however, prove Kaito's point by eating with a choreographed grace. Kaito looks at Kikyo as if to say, "You see?" Jaken takes a bite out of the leg of something and turns to mush. He'd never tell Sesshomaru who may be happy to oblige, but in this moment, he could die happy.
Everyone falls into a comfortable silence until the sake loosens Kaito's tongue again.
"So how did Sesshomaru of the West end up with the priestess, Kikyo?"
"It was she who vanquished the soul eater," Sesshomaru says, eating his rice with his eyes closed.
"Ah! A union born on the battlefield, huh?"
"It is not a union, lapdog!" Jaken corrects him only to earn a terrible look from Sesshomaru.
Kaito just laughs, refilling his cup. Kikyo finishes her meal, grateful for the small enjoyment. Her surprise at feeling this way amongst demons isn't lost on her. She simply doesn't know what to do with it. It's contrary to who she is, who she was, and who she was born and bred to be and believe. Rising from her cushion, she once again captures the full attention of Kaito and his retainers.
"I am going to see if the ritual has made any progress. Thank you for the meal," she says, excusing herself.
Sesshomaru rests his chopsticks on the table and Kaito gazes mournfully at his empty bottle of sake.
"Remarkable, isn't she?" Kaito begins plating up meat from a spit.
"Especially to you."
Sesshomaru can't help himself. From the time Kaito laid eyes on Kikyo, he's played the role of a simpleton. His father had fallen to the same desire for humans and their customs. He thinks if anything has weakened demonkind, it's the disease of human fascination.
"We are not the only inheritors of the Earth, Sesshomaru. There are good humans and unfortunate ones. It is the same with demons. Walking the path of peace doesn't make you any less fearsome."
Sesshomaru lets him talk. He hasn't lived hundreds of years to have his view of the world challenged during the span of a single dinner.
Dinner drones on for another hour and Sesshomaru wonders how so much food can be consumed at once. Jaken nuzzles his fur, plump from gluttony. Sesshomaru flicks him off. Kaito and the others have migrated back to their rejuvenated campfire. His patience has run out and he isn't built for pleasantries, so he enters the manor to get a status update from Kikyo.
Once inside, he doesn't immediately see her. Making his way through the cluttered foyer of stone jackals, he finds her sitting on a large windowsill, gazing into the sky.
"Do you seek the shikon jewel, Sesshomaru?"
"No," he says. "Tell me how much longer we'll have to wait."
"If you're tired of waiting, you're free to go."
She closes the window and gets up to leave, but he grabs her arm.
"Remove it, or there will be absolutely no reason for you to wear sleeves other than the aesthetic."
He suddenly realizes why she's more annoying than other humans. There's no bravado. It's already documented that, even at her lowest, she gets the upper hand.
Sesshomaru is only used to impediments, some sort of test popping up as a stumbling block rather than a stepping stone. He sighs, dropping the matter and picking up another one.
"Why did you ask me if I desire the shikon jewel?"
"Because all who desire it meet their end. Whatever power play you're making won't go very far with the jewel involved."
"So you support my ambitions, do you?"
She opens her mouth to protest but closes it. Why does she care whether or not he wants the jewel? When she asked him, she had focused solely on his goal to enlarge his territory rather than the destruction that goal could leave in its wake. The realization disturbs her but her mind is too full of other things.
"I don't care what you do. All I ask is that you keep me out of your affairs when this is over."
She moves far away from him, busying herself with parts of the foyer she hasn't had time to observe. A giant portrait of an angel falling into a pit of fire hangs over the fireplace. Kikyo has to step far back to see it all at once. At times, she feels like the subject of the painting. What would her life had been like if she hadn't pitied Onigumo or wanted to save Inuyasha?
"A demon painted this," Sesshomaru says, coming up beside her.
"Perhaps they likened themselves to the angel but accepted their fate."
"Or perhaps they wanted to tempt an angel towards a new fate."
Sesshomaru looks down at her from the corner of his eye at the very moment Kikyo looks up at him. Her usual problem of trying to make sense of everything returns. Sesshomaru continues to hold her gaze. Twice now he's encountered her; once saving his life and now fortifying his alliances. Since he doesn't know what to make of it, he makes nothing of it. Kikyo is the first to turn away. The room fills with the stunned cries of jackals.
"The spell has been broken!" Kaito says, coming through the door.
The red tie binding them finally fades, extracting a toll in the form of Kikyo's strength. She sways on her feet, using the wall for support. Kaito debriefs his tribe. So many voices magnify and overlap that it makes her head swim. Sesshomaru is pulled into the clamor and she makes out Jaken's voice attempting to bring everyone's attention to the alliance.
"This body becomes less viable with every use of my power," she says to herself, straining.
So many regard her second coming as some sort of miracle, but ever since returning, she has had to take great measures not to succumb to death again. The grotto, with waters infused with a powerful healing spell, is her sacred place and her recovery from the last time she used her powers was interrupted by Sesshomaru.
The effects manifest in earnest, the ground beneath her feet feeling like nothing more than air. As the present moment fades from her consciousness, the last thing she hears is Jaken asking if she's truly dead at last.
Before she was born, Kikyo's path was laid out for her. The stars and time of her birth were blessed by the village-mother, a woman rumored to be more than a thousand years old. Not long after Kikyo was born, the village-mother died; the day she'd lived for realized.
From that moment, Kikyo was reared in the ways of healing and the priesthood. And the village mother had been right–Kikyo's spiritual awareness and powers were nothing short of a miracle. The village became acquainted with a peace that rested on her small shoulders.
It wasn't until she grew curious about love that she ever questioned her purpose in life. The problem with thinking the grass is greener on the other side is that it's a bottomless pit of doubt. Satisfaction is impossible. Knowing this didn't stop Inuyasha's boyish charm and need to prove himself from capturing her heart. But the grass on the other side ended up being nothing more than her grave.
She doesn't want to die again ruminating on what went wrong with Inuyasha. Her imminent demise brings a clarity that was missing the last time. So instead of using the last of her energy to carry her bitterness with her, she succumbs. A warmth surrounds her and when her soul yearns for it, reaches for it, it does not shy away.
Sesshomaru holds her gently, striding into the grotto and up the smooth rocks of the pool at its center. He places Kikyo inside the water, watching her sink. He sits at the mouth of the pool and the green glow of the grotto transitions to pure white. He rises at the feeling of a presence approaching, poison whip drawn. Two soul collectors float in, dropping orbs of light into the pool. They wait patiently and Sesshomaru observes them.
If not for Kaito's hysterics, Sesshomaru would have left Kikyo where she collapsed but he cares about his reputation. No one can say he uses and manipulates people. Before he can ponder anything else, Kikyo jolts out of the pool, gasping.
"So you consume souls to stay alive?"
She startles at the sound of Sesshomaru's voice, the color of shame on her resuscitated cheeks. It's not something she's proud of but she remembers her reasons for living and shrugs.
"How fortunate for you to not have to worry about such things," she says.
The soul collectors encircle her, verifying their work is done, and leave. Silence falls between them. Sesshomaru turns to leave as well, but Kikyo calls after him, eyes wide with understanding.
"You brought me here? You saved me?"
"Obviously," Sesshomaru says, back turned to her.
But she marches around to face him, despite being unsure of what else to say.
"Why?" is all she manages.
"You may think I am many things but I do not believe in being indebted to anyone. Consider us even now."
Without another word, he leaves, taking to the air. Kikyo leans against the entrance of the grotto, stunned by how greatly she'd misjudged him. More stunning is realizing that the warmth she felt as she was dying had come from him.