20 - Guess Who's Back?

~*Sam*~

Jolinar? That is her, and not a zombie or…?

Rosha?!

I don't think zombies panic.

"I did wonder," Zar says calmly, then looks angry as the ship shakes. "Send out the recording!" He orders before leaving.

The Jaffa leave with that dreadful healing device.

I'm sorry. Rosha is…gone. Our connection is very weak. She's very weak. It takes an effort to "talk" to her, and she does seem to believe I am Rosha.

I feel…incredibly lonely. I'm not sure why, especially with someone in my head.

"Uh… Jolinar?" Malek kneels by us with an expression of disbelief.

She snaps my head up, looking to him. "Malek?"

Thankfully, the ancient healing device make the Jaffa's brutality less obvious. Now he just looks bloody and dirty. Jolinar is bewildered at the physical change though. He probably looks about ten to fifteen years older than he should.

"It's…you?" He asks.

Then I remember that Jolinar hadn't seen Malek in years before she died.

She frowns slightly, then looks at my hands. Dread fills her as she realizes they are not Rosha's hands. She desperately begins searching in her memories.

Jolinar? Did she hear me?

"Malek? What-what happened to Rosha?" She begins crying in pain and guilt.

"We don't know, exactly. We only confirmed her death, not how she died."

Jolinar… My name is Samantha. I'm sorry about Rosha. I know you loved her.

She is quiet…searching through her memories.

I'm sorry. I don't know what happened to her.

Finally… I remember now. Barely. What happened to Faron?

It's her memories, I realize. They belong to her again, and I can't… I can't feel them. I can't see them. I feel like a part of me was suddenly wiped away.

Faron is… Be delicate. …also gone. He was killed in a Goa'uld attack.

"Malek. Has the Ashrak captured us? He was after me for several months."

He's not our problem anymore.

He is extremely dangerous.

He's dead, and…so were you.

"I have been risen by the sarcophagus?"

"Something much more powerful," Malek replies. "May I speak to Samantha?"

She retreats, but it's an effort.

"Samantha, are you alright?"

"Yeah. I think. She doesn't remember the last few months of her life."

He brushes my hair back gently, which only scares Jolinar. Not the action itself, but…

Are we mates to Malek? What became of Martouf and Lantash? She asks in despair.

They are alive. We are not with Malek…currently. Exactly. I'm not sure. Jolinar…I don't know how to tell you this, but…you've been dead for nine years.

Impossible.

"I told her how long she's been gone."

"Much has changed, but first, she must know the immediate situation. Have you told her?"

I shake my head. "She's very weak. Communication is a struggle. I don't think she has access to my memories." I frown. "I don't have hers anymore.

You had my memories?

Malek nods. "We are captured by the Goa'uld, Zar. He's grown more powerful since you knew, though he is still a minor power. Below, in the prison, he also has Martouf."

I feel myself mentally pulled back as my eyes burn. "He has my beloveds?"

I flinch. Don't do that! I yell angrily, mostly fearfully.

She immediately gives me control, though my reaction confuses her. She doesn't know, and her move was normal with a usual host.

I didn't mean to frighten you. I would never harm my host. She is still reeling from the pain of Rosha and Feran's loss. I know I have forgotten many memories. How long have you been my host? Are you new?

"You have to tell her," Malek says, having an idea of what happened.

"She's already in pain." Yes, I suppose I am. We were only together for a few days before you died.

"She has to know. She is weak now, but she won't stay weak. Either you tell her, or your memories will."

Tell me?

I sigh. Jolinar…

Yes, new beloved?

I smile slightly. That's sweet, and it makes what I have to do that much harder. Of course, she doesn't love me this quickly, but to her, I am a scared new host who needs reassurance.

Jolinar… We never blended.

Then how am I in your head?

…You took me.

She becomes mute.

I had expected her not to believe me, but somehow, she knows I speak the truth.

You were going to die. You panicked. Then… I sigh. You did wrong.

She is still mute.

The Ashrak found us. He killed you. You used the last of your strength to make sure I lived. "She stopped talking."

"Can she still hear me?" Malek asked.

Yes, she replies in a very small voice.

"Yes."

"Jolinar… I know you are hurting, but…" He pauses. "Before we are sent below, you need to know that Lantash does not have most of his memories."

What of Martouf's memories? she asked.

He is relying on Lantash's memories, I answer.

He remembers nothing himself?

No.

~+~+~.

I quickly explain Pete as we are taken back.

I thought you were dating Malek. You clearly love each other.

No. It's over with Pete. Also… Lantash is dating Malek.

That would imply that Lantash remembers their marriage. There is hope for us as well then.

They had the same idea.

You love Amb and Malek. Once you can access my memories, you will love Martouf and Lantash as well. You shall see, they are wonderful men. Wonderful husbands.

I smile slightly. I do love them.

Perfect.

"Samantha?" Malek looks over.

"Jolinar is uh…making plans." It doesn't bother you that I love them?

You are my host, regardless of how that came to be. I would be willing to find a new host if you preferred, but I suspect you don't want me out.

She's right. I don't.

If I have been gone as long as you say, then Lantash will think you are a Goa'uld. He will probably attack you.

He knows I would rather die than… I shudder at the idea that he might kill me to save me.

Just talk to him. We'll have to convince him.

"We'll have to explain Jolinar calmly and quickly," Malek said.

"She had the same thoughts."

We ring down.

My loves! Jolinar says in horror upon seeing Martouf.

Lantash turns away, clearly not yet sensing Jolinar. Malek and I follow.

Zar did this to them? Martouf is scarred. He's aged fifty years in only ten.

Fifty? That seems to be at least twice as much as I would think.

For a Tok'ra host.

Oh. Right.

Pete stands as we get into the room. "Sam."

Lantash kisses Malek, who pulls away. Lantash cups Malek's face in return, concern in his eyes.

"How badly did they hurt you?"

I feel a wiggle as Jolinar realizes the full meaning of that question.

Have you been hurt? She asks tenderly.

Once.

We will destroy those who have harmed you, she says protectively.

"Only for a short while," Malek replies. "We have a new…development." He glances to me.

Lantash approaches me, pauses, then his eyes flare as he senses Jolinar. I've never seen that anger and hate before, not on him, and it sends a shiver down my spine. With one hand he grabs my wrists, pinning me face first against the wall. The grip on my neck is painful.

Do not fight this, Jolinar reminds, though she is stiff with pain.

I know. I know. I am fighting my own instinct, and recent, painful memories don't help. I try to hide them from Jolinar, but she sees enough.

"Get out of her," he whispers with a deadly tone.

He doesn't know that it's me, Jolinar mutters to herself. He doesn't know that it's me.

"Lantash, it's me," I assure. No, he doesn't.

"Get off her!" Pete charges, but his legs are kicked out from under him.

"Zar has an ancient healing device," Malek explains calmly, grabbing and stopping Pete from trying to attack again. "It's far more powerful than the sarcophagus. It must be how he was able to revive us after being shot with the zatarc ring."

"It's powerful enough to revive what seems impossible." I wince. "You are hurting Jolinar."

"You are lying." His grip tightens. "How dare you speak her name."

I've never feared him before.

"She speaks the truth," Malek replies, still very calm.

"It is a trick. A thing that has taken Samantha, violating her and Jolinar's memories." He leans in. "I will never let you have them."

"I saw it happen," Malek assures. "I felt it happen. One second, she was faded. The next, alive. I was by her side when it happened. We have seen this device bring life to tissue that never lived. You must believe this possible."

"Then a Goa'uld was implanted and killed ahead of time to fool you."

"Please," I say. "Lantash, I am not a Goa'uld."

His grip softens first, then I feel myself released.

"I considered that," Malek replies. "She would have felt different. Her sense would have been stronger."

I rub the back of my neck, but she's hurting far worse than I am. Jolinar?

This is actually going better than I expected.

Really? "Thank you."

I would have reacted the same if I thought Martouf had been invaded. He also could have made it much more painful. He held back for your sake. She wiggles. Have I really been gone for nearly a decade?

Yes.

"You have Martouf to thank." Lantash frowns. "I'm supposed to believe that Zar brought back my wife…nine years after she died?"

He still loves me.

"I'll let you talk," Malek says as he gestures for Pete to leave. He follows him.

I approach. "Lantash?"

"I need proof."

"I don't know how."

He looks to me.

How much of my memories did you have?

I don't know. It was very jumbled, and you took many of them back. I frown. I didn't remember how she died. He knows that. Do you remember?

Yes.

Tell him.

…Are you sure?

He needs to talk to you. That will help convince him. Somewhere in his heart, he will recognize you.

She takes control, and he looks at us with caution.

"Lantash…" She reaches for him, running my hand over a scar on his arm. "It pains me to see that you and Martouf have suffered."

He makes no reply, clearly on guard.

"I've been told I lost the last few months of my memories. They are vague, and the ones that I didn't convert to my code of life will never return…but I can tell you how Rosha died."

He makes a soft, quick inhale.

"We were helping to find a man who had gotten lost in the woods. He was attacked by a large cat. In trying to aid him, we were ambushed by a second. It was quick. She died before I realized it was pouncing on us."

He frowns, having no way to confirm this, but… "Where was she buried?"

"Yra… It was a water burial. Despite being a stranger, they gave her a lovely funeral."

There is recognition. He didn't know how she died, but I realize they must have found her burial.

"They put her in a boat," Jolinar continues, seeing the same recognition that I do. "With beautiful flowers. They sent her out. The boat sank, as it was designed to do, burying her in the water."

Lantash takes my hands gently. "Jolinar."

"Yes."

"My Jolinar." He holds us close, kissing my temple as silent tears fall. "I'm sorry. My love. I should have known it was you."

"It's alright."

"You have our deepest apologies. I never would have…if I could even dream that it was you. I thought…" He smiles. "You're alive. I never expected to hold you again, but-" He frowns. "Samantha. Jolinar, you… You hurt her."

Shame fills her.

"And now? Is she…willing?"

"Yes."

He nods.

She is thankful that he accepts her word. I understand…if he didn't, but…

It would hurt.

Greatly, she admits as she brushes his hair back. "May I speak to Martouf?"

He pulls out his main blade and offers it to her.

"I don't understand."

Martouf isn't…stable, I explain so that Lantash doesn't have to. He has flashes of violence.

She gasps, taking the knife in tears.

Martouf takes control, but he doesn't hold the look she expected.

He really doesn't remember me, she realizes.

There is love. Definite love, but he is going on memories that aren't his own and are far too few.

"I've missed you," Jolinar says. "We wanted to get back to you."

"Lantash must remember you for me," he says, almost embarrassed.

"Samantha has explained. There is no shame in this. I will always hold you and Lantash in my heart." She touched a burn on his temple. "What has been done to you?"

"Everything. Anything. Everyone has their favorite methods of dominance."

"You… You have been…hurt?"

He looks away.

"I'm sorry." She hugs him. "I had to know."

He nods.

"Martouf…"

"Many times, by many people, often at once…by the Jaffa, by the other prisoners. At first, I…often did not survive."

She winces.

"This is the last I will speak of it."

"I understand."

He hugs her.

~+~+~.

"Pete…"

He frowns. "They put someone in your head?"

"No. She died there. Years ago. She was revived."

"How?"

"I think her body being absorbed by living tissue, me, instead of just rotting made it possible."

So…am I partly you now?

I laugh. I don't know.

He smiles slightly. "So it'll be removed?"

"'It'll be removed?'" Lantash quotes angrily.

"I mean the worm thing."

"She is my wife," Lantash informs angrily.

He still loves me!

"In his defense, I didn't explain Jolinar," Malek says. "He might have thought she was a Goa'uld."

"Then what exactly were you doing?" Lantash asks.

"Looking for a larger room. It's crowded." He frowns.

He's been avoiding Pete as much as possible, I think. "Lantash. Malek. I need to talk with him alone."

Malek leaves immediately. Lantash lingers for a second. "If he harms either of you, his death will not be quick."

Is he serious? Jolinar asks. Threatening a civilian?

Unfortunately. I walk to Pete. "It's over between us. I thought I made that clear."

That's not the Lantash I know. She thinks, mostly to herself.

"I thought… Maybe…" Pete frowns. "Sam."

"After what you have done?"

What did he do? Jolinar asks.

"I can't trust you. I'm not going to let you die, but-"

"We can delay. We escape. We'll get out. We'll get married." He tries to kiss me.

I pull away.

"Which one of them are you screwing?" He says angrily.

He is abusive! Jolinar is angry.

I feel wiggling in my head and neck. "Neither." He's just angry. He's been patient and-

"Both of them then? What was this a game to you? Stringing me along? Sex, then no sex."

There is no love here. No heartbreak. He's like a Goa'uld who lost his favorite slave, she snarls. If it wasn't for our past unpleasant history, every prisoner would be able to hear her furiously putting him in his place.

I close my eyes. "Pete." Jolinar is not making this easy. I can't argue with both of you.

Does he normally grab you during an argument?

What?

"Answer me," Pete growls.

I look and realize that Pete is gripping my hand. It hurts when I pull it away.

"How can you do this to me?" He asks.

He's never grabbed me like that before.

Are you sure?

I frown. I don't know.

"I gave you more chances than you deserved. You went through my photos."

"Why did you keep those photos while dating me?

"Because those photos were more exciting than your best!"

He looks hurt and furious.

Back up!

I do, but nothing happens. Jolinar?

I thought he was going to hit you.

He's never hit me.

I can only judge him by what I see here.

"Sam. How could you…say something so…so cruel?"

"I don't know," I admit.

Sorry, my anger might have influenced that remark.

"Sam?" Pete says.

You can tell him I influenced you, Jolinar offers.

That's not fair to you.

Pete sighs, looking down.

"Pete… I'm sorry. I'm the reason you are here, but… This relationship was never-"

He leaves.

Can I talk to him?

I consider it. Yes, but only if you promise that you won't take the blame for my words.

Symbiote's promise.

I smile, then retreat, and she follows.

"Pete."

He stops.

"I'll be honest…" She walks closer. "I don't like you. I understand your actions. You are scared and humiliated."

He turns to us.

"You are overwhelmed, so you are desperately trying to hold on to what little power you think you have, and the fact that you cannot is making you angry."

He flinches.

"But you lost her, and it was your own doing."

"I lost her the moment we arrived here."

"No, you lost her before you arrived. It may have taken longer, but it was going to happen."

"What do you want from me?"

"We need to be civil with each other. I will try to…understand you better, and you…" I feel my expression harden. "You will never grab her like that again."

"I didn't mean it like that."

She just glares.

"It was an accident."

She doesn't reply.

"I'm sorry."

"We shall see."

~+~+~.

"All the evidence against Parker is on a laptop that was found in her house." I shake my head. "It could have easily been planted ahead of time." I sit back. "There's still the anonymous report against Malek. It never made sense."

"Actually, it does make sense," Daniel realizes. "We assumed she made the report. Thorn would have known Malek and Sam were…being intimate. He knew Parker had a…fetish, and he certainly knew she liked Tok'ra. All he had to do was maybe suggest that Malek likes her..then wait until Parker gets herself in trouble."

"So when the leak is discovered, we already have a suspect." I sigh, having felled for it. "He set her up."