Sometimes when Frozar doesn't feel like writing whatever is currently ongoing, he tends to free-write in his spare time, whether it'd be an original or a fan-based short...
This was one of those occasions...
No Relation To Toon Wars...
Boxmore was busier than usual as a congregation of villains arrived for a special occasion at the main building. Many were wealthy or had connections with various sources. But the most popular were Professor Venomous and Lord Boxman, owner of the Voxmore brand for all things evil. They hosted this event where they shared food and drinks to celebrate their success thanks to their partnership. And among those in attendance most important to them was Cosma, the galactic lizard with a multitude of abilities; most famous of which allowed her to change her mass to cosmic proportions at will. As the event continued, Boxman stopped and prepared a speech for the audience before him.
He stood on stage and announced, "Thank you all for coming fellow evildoers! It's been about a year since I've partnered with this wonderful, handsome- I-I mean well-rounded gentleman next to me."
Catching what he said before he stuttered, Venomous blushed and looked to the side trying to hide his smirk from the crowd.
"And thanks to him, it's fair to say the Box, or I should say, Voxmore brand's never been better!" Boxman paused and gestured his hand forward, "I know. I've messed up thousands of times in the past trying to get rid of a few competitors of ours. But looking forward, I'd say we're in good hands!"
The crowd cheered in agreement to which even Cosma smiled back. She was seen as the voice of the villain's circle and the one who put Boxman in his place on a frequent basis due to his love of competing with Lakewood Plaza Turbo draining funds for Boxmore in the past. It's thanks to Venomous that all that turned around with positive results. But as she thought of it, she noticed Fink, the Professor's little mouse minion, coming from the back of the stage with a huge chocolate cake she sits on a table before returning to her business after a happy thumbs up from Venomous.
Boxman continued, "I'd like to thank my Box kids and sweet little Fink for reminding me why I run the place. But I especially wanna thank Cosma for putting up with our antics for the past… How long was it again…? Two seasons!"
Venomous got up from his chair and said on the mic, "And what better way to thank her than to let her do the honors?"
All the spotlights aimed at the woman sitting among a group of other familiar faces and was taken aback by such a gift. She leaned back and grinned, "Mwah…?!"
"Come on and chow down, Cosma," said Boxman. "Take the first slice!"
Instantly, she teleported in front of him and cut herself a huge slice of the dessert with a precise heat beam! She levitated it towards herself and said to the man she's been annoyed with for so long, "Why thank you, Boxman. It honestly means the galaxy to me. I couldn't be all the more proud of you and Venomous for working so well together. You can expect further funding from me in the future."
Without even taking a fork or a spoon to eat, she swallowed the slice whole in a single bite! She licked her lips and tried to analyze the taste of what she just ate saying, "Hey it's not bad."
Cosma asked the supervillain, "What's in it?"
"Oh nothing fancy," Boxman casually replied. "Just some cinnamon powder, a bit of vanilla extract, some power dampeners, and a whole bunch of gluten-free flour."
"Ah, that's great! You remembered sometimes I suffer from gluten… WHAAAAAAAAT?!"
It was a trap! The entire audience was stunned but they did nothing but watch as Venomous walked up to the depowered entity saying with smugness in his voice, "Sorry Cosma. Nothing personal between us, but you're just a pain in our ass. Do you know how many planets we could have profited from were devoured by you...on a day off...every weekend?!"
"Alright, that said, I take full responsibility for some of it since most were highly hero-oriented," she admitted. "But you don't have to do all this to get me to curb my appetite."
"Oh, we're not just gonna curve it," said Boxman. "We're gonna make sure you don't eat a single molecule for the rest of your life!"
Annoyed with him once again, Cosma tried to blast Boxman's head off with a precise shot from her laser eyes, but nothing would come out. Instead, she was left squinting as hard as she could for results and wound up looking stupid in front of the crowd, who were now beginning to chuckle at her expense. From the back of the stage, the Boxbot Darrell pressed a button that deployed a space shuttle around Cosma from under the floors with no way to exit from the inside. From the round viewport, she watched as another button hidden underneath the podium unlocked itself letting Venomous and Boxman use it to launch the rocket.
"I'll let you do the honors, partner," Venomous smirked.
"Oh the tragic irony for the one who launched me into the sun to be thrown into space the same way," he mocked.
Flames filled Cosma's eyes as she shouted, "Boxman, I swear when I return, you'll be the first person I turn into space dust!"
He brushed off her threat and automatically shut the window, "Yeah yeah yeah. Good luck trying to get back over 80.40 trillion light-years away."
And with the press of a button, Boxman fired the pod from the launch pad to the stratosphere before the entirety of the villain's circle! They all marveled at what just occurred feeling no sympathy for their fellow evildoer as Cosma is left rocketing through space at unfathomable speeds, faster than even she can keep up in her asteroid-sized form! She held on for the bumpy ride not knowing where she'd end up. But one thing was certain. When she crashes and she's able to get her bearings, she won't stop until she's found a way to return to Earth to correct the one mistake she's ever made: Letting Boxman live.
Based on OK KO Let's Be Heroes and Mighty Magiswords...
COSMAFIA
Episode 1 - Stains of Time
In the medieval village of Rhyboflaven out in the woods revamped for living conditions, the Warriors for Hire basked in the wealth they've acquired at their apartment/headquarters. They swam in a pile of gems from all kinds of people they've been hired to aid, after which Prohyas examined one of the new ones they've earned.
He said to Vambre, "Well it's a little cloudy. But I can let it slide."
His sister popped out of the mountain of jewels, spitting out one of them, and commented, "You know, swimming in gems isn't as easy as cartoon programs make it seem."
CRASH!
Instantly, a hole in the roof was made as Cosma's shuttle came colliding with the two like a meteor! The wealth was scattered across the room like a hurricane of bullets, puncturing holes in the foundation of the living room along with the wreckage of the ship, leaving its lone passenger in a crater as the smoke settled.
She waved off the ashes on her body and tried straightening her rough orange hair when she muttered to herself, "Curse that Boxman and Professor Venomous! As soon as I recover my powers or find a way back, I'll…"
When she fluffed her hair back, she saw multiple things wrong with her current situation. Two witnesses, both feline and anthropomorphic like herself wearing medieval clothes were at the front door frozen in complete and utter terror over the scene of a murder. The remains of Vambre and Prohyas were splattered across the room along with scrap metal and shards of glass, complete with a gaping hole in the ceiling and a crater in the wood floor Cosma stood in the middle of.
Realizing what she's done, she struggled to cock a smile then shrugged and said to them, "Um… This isn't what it looks like?"
One of the Warriors' arms fell from the wall and the supervillain zipped toward the felines and shut the door behind them, grabbing them both by the collars with panic in her eyes.
"You saw NOTHING," she shouted! "Who are you two? And why are you dressed like you're from a fantasy board game?"
"EEK," Bimm cried. "Don't hurt us!"
Familiar answered, "I'm familiar and this is Bimm! We're just visiting! That's all!"
"Familiar with what," Cosma asked.
"N-no, that's my name."
"You need to change it. And what planet am I on?"
Whatever ounce of anxiety Familiar had immediately faded when he answered bluntly, "Um...Earth...?"
"Earth…?! Oh, right. This is likely an alternate Earth… Alright then. What city am I in?"
"You're in Rhyboflaven," Bimm responded. "Could you let go of us...please?"
Cosma dropped them on their faces. "My apologies." She palmed her eyes, "Ugh... This cannot be happening…"
"Who're you supposed to be," asked the brother.
"I am Cosma." For a moment, she smiled as she introduced herself to the pair. "You see, I'm a fairly well-known shareholder of all things evil. And admittedly a bit of a foodie. It's my favorite pass time whenever I get bored in my travels. But recently, I've been tossed aside by the very people I provided funding for."
She took a pause and proceeded to pace herself with her arms behind her back. "I've lost my powers, I know nothing of where I am, nor if there's any way to get back as of now. And I've left my DNA all over the scene of a crime." Abruptly, she paused and glared back at the duo with her sharp eyes. "But since I'm here, there may be opportunities. And until I tell you otherwise, you both work for me."
Bimm quickly perked up, "Really…? That's great!"
"Excuse you," she asked with a cock-eyed scowl. "Do you not understand? You are going to be my employees until I can sort this out."
Familiar clarified, "Yeah, but we both have a job now. That's why we came here in the first place. One because we sort of...didn't do so hot last time in our mercenary gig..."
Just days earlier, Familiar was seen playing with a ball of yarn with his hands and feet while Bimm was left sleeping on a Magisword none the wiser of an unimpressed crowd watching them.
"And we kinda need some advice to...get gud."
Bimm got excited wagging her tail, "Maybe you can help us?"
Cosma, unphased, replied, "I am not helping two wannabes who don't know how to help themselves."
Familiar stood his ground, "If you don't, eventually our landlord's gonna show up and see the mess you made. And we can't sneak out of it either cause I touched the door knob and Bimm's tail is deep in Prohyas' blood."
Seeing the sight of her brother's description, she promptly locked up and let out a tiny, squealing scream.
All Cosma could do is laugh over her current situation, baffled over the absurdity of it all while trying her best not to lose her mind. "Hehe... Hehehehahahahahaha! Hahaaoooo, I really have no choice..." Clapping her hands together once, she conceded. "Alright, that's enough. You're hired."
Bimm almost immediately leaped up and let out a great cheer!
"YAAAY!"
"But don't get too excited. We're still hiding a body."
"Make it three," said Familiar, pointing to the remains of Grup bludgeoned by shards of crystals in the kitchen.
"Okay… Make it three bodies." While coming up with a strategy, the supervillain noticed a number of strange objects scattered in the room. Magiswords of many kinds dropped from the pouches the Warriors carried before the crash.
"And just what are these silly things?"
"Oh those," Familiar asked. "They're called Magiswords. V an' P are...were totally obsessed with them. Everyone has one."
Swishing the Dolphin device around, Cosma nearly chuckled saying, "How does a dolphin on a stick count as a weapon...?"
DOLPHIN MAGISWORD
It sprays water into Bimm's face and ruins her makeup, trying to swish herself off.
"Magic weapons."
Bimm added while straightening her hair, "But some of them are everyday tools."
"Is there one that can dissolve a person?"
Familiar nearly chuckled, "No...I think? Vambre and Prohyas have tons around here. Wouldn't be surprised if there was one that shot, like...acid or something."
"Well, you know what to do." Cosma's calm instantly turned to rage when she yelled, "FIND IT!"
"AH," the felines screamed! "YES MA'AM!"
"And while you're at it, make yourselves useful and clean up this room."
To rest her legs, she took a seat on the nearest pile of rubble where parked herself on the…
GHOSTLY MAGISWORD
"What the...?"
The tool activated, unleashing a cloud of smoke that revealed the transparent forms of Vambre and Prohyas looking visibly angry at everyone in the room. They hovered over them silently as Familiar broke the silence.
"...What," he shrugged.
"WHAT THE FUCK GUYS," Prohyas cursed!
"What? We're cleaning up your mess."
Vambre corrected, "FOR A SUPERVILLAIN?! You could have easily called the police and everything would be fine. But noooooooo! You have to stoop to a new low and become even bigger wusses than Gateaux!"
"But we could be sent to prison," Bimm argued.
Prohyas mocked her, "But we could be sent to- I don't care! You're gonna bring us back somehow or we're gonna haunt you for the rest of your li…"
The two ghosts flickered and vanished as quickly as they came.
"...Prohyas?"
"Oh right. The Ghost Magisword's busted" said Familiar.
"Good thing too," Cosma smirked. "We don't need them giving us a headache right now. And now I know why these tools are so important to you."
After rummaging through more trash, Bimm announced, "Found one!"
AUTO CLEANER MAGISWORD
"YES," Cosma cheered!
IS BROKEN
"NO!"
"Oh no," Bimm panicked. "We gotta get another!"
Familiar countered, "And look suspicious when people start asking where V and P are?!"
Cosma palmed her face, "Can't you two idiots glue it back together and call it a day?"
"One, we're not stupid. Two, we'd need a witch to help us or it's not gonna work. It's magic and the only one I can think of who'd be happy to help is... Simone."
"What about Witch Way," his sister asked.
"Y'know how they are. They'd just laugh at us or worse, get us in trouble so they can be the top mercenaries."
Cosma let out another sigh and slouched her arms. "Alright then... Since you seem to have good ideas, why don't you stay and clean up what you can? We'll go out and handle this."
Hearing this plan, Bimm paused, "We…?"
"We? Just give me a tour while we find this Simone girl."
"Erm…ok." Bimm leaned near her brother as the two of them left and whispered, "Help me…"
As soon as both she and Cosma left, Familiar looked around and began stashing several gems in his Magisword pouch rapidly.
He said to himself, "They're not using it. I'm taking it!"