A/N: Hey all! Sorry this has been really slow. This was actually prewritten a few weeks ago, but I'm just posting it now because things got a little extra crazy over here—I just became a foster mom. It would be difficult to overstate how happy I am. Also a little distracted from writing. Will post what I've pre-written as I have time!
Chapter 2 - Running Away
This is going to be the hardest thing you've ever done. All those years in the army, they're gonna look easy.
It wasn't the first time Lois's words had rung in Sam's mind when he was supposed to be sleeping. She'd spoken them months ago, but every time they floated to the center of his consciousness, it was like the whole exchange had been yesterday.
Something had been off about the boy today. Then again, it was hard to tell; Jon had been pretending for almost as long as Sam had known him. Some part of Sam had known that the whole time. He'd been deep in denial about it then, of course.
He'd been deep in denial about a lot of things.
This won't make Lucy forgive you, Dad. And it won't bring Mom back.
She hadn't been trying to stop him. Sam knew that now. But it had felt like it then. It only succeeded in making him more determined to prove her wrong.
But Lois was rarely wrong.
In the same way that Jon had been holding back, Sam had. Every moment when he might have truly let himself love the boy, he'd made it about himself instead, even as he lavished Jon with the best care he knew how. Meanwhile, his true affection for Jon had grown, deep inside himself, suppressed. Spilling out all at once when he'd seen his boy in tears.
Everything was different now. There would be no holding back what he really felt for Jon now. It brought Sam confidence, and it scared him.
Still, Sam was fairly certain something had been off about today.
He'll want to go back to his home planet.
That was something Sam and Lois had talked about a lot, even if they'd never spoken about it to Jon. The conversations had come to nothing in the end. There was simply no way to get Jon-El back to his home planet. Meanwhile, there was no way to bring up the topic with Jon without any risk of him interpreting it as Sam not wanting him.
Another adoptive home, far from any doppelgängers he would have recognized, might have been a much better option. But in the beginning, Jon was a prisoner. And now, he was attached to Sam.
He's been let down before. If you do this, you can't give up on him.
Those words had echoed quite a bit after Sam kicked the boy out on a rainy night. He'd started all of this by telling himself there was no way he'd give up, because he couldn't—his pride, his integrity, his absolution was at stake.
Now, the boy he loved was at stake. His own damn redemption was meaningless by comparison.
Sam liked to think he was pretty perceptive when it came to his boy, but he also knew there was a lot Jon hadn't told him. Some of those things were a matter of military record. Some, he hoped Jon would tell him over time. But there were some things he'd probably never know. He'd just have to make do with what he knew.
A soft whimpering woke him up.
Lieutenant was pawing at the edge of his bed, nudging Sam with his nose.
"Hey," Sam whispered, scratching him behind the ears. "You okay, boy?"
Lieutenant barked loudly.
"Hey. Bad dog." Sam said it was firmly as he could while keeping a whisper.
Lieutenant barked again.
Sam frowned—this wasn't like Lieutenant. Sam sat up and flicked on the lamp. "What's the matter?"
Lieutenant backed up a little, then he ran out of the room.
Sam followed him to Jon's room, where Lieutenant clawed at the door. "Shh, you'll wake him up."
Lieutenant barked again, and again.
"Lieutenant!" Sam knelt down and tapped Lieutenant's nose. Lieutenant sneezed and put his tail between his legs, hanging his head, but still whimpering.
Jon was definitely awake by now. Sam sighed, knocked lightly on the door, then opened it.
The bed was empty.
Sam's heart began to race. He ran out into the kitchen. The lights were on, and a note sat on the table.
He skimmed it, and his heart sank.
"I'm sorry, boy," Sam told Lieutenant, patting him on the head. "Good boy. Help me find him?"
Lieutenant trotted in place a little.
Sam grabbed a flashlight and his coat, and he opened the front door for Lieutenant, who raced out into the night. Something shiny caught his eye; Jon had left his chain on the front porch. Sam bent down to pocket it, then he ran after Lieutenant.
He had to jog to keep up with him, even as Lieutenant darted from place to place, sniffing. He wasn't exactly a bloodhound, but Sam was pretty sure he could still follow a trail, at least better than Sam himself could. And it had only been a couple of hours this time. Last time Jon had run away, Sam hadn't realized it until morning.
He's going to test you, Lois had told him, before Sam had even taken Jon in.
You and Lucy tested me, Sam had insisted.
Not like that. He'll probably run away as soon as you give him the chance.
Why would he run away when he knows the only other place he's going is back in that cell?
Because it's unfamiliar and scary.
So I'll earn his trust.
He'll run away when he trusts you to bring him back.
Lois had been wrong about that the first time. Sam had deeply believed Jon would never run, and then he'd been gone the second Sam took off the ankle monitor. And it wasn't because he was testing Sam, or because he trusted him.
But tonight, Sam knew Lois's prediction had finally come to pass. He was being tested.
And he knew he would not fail his boy again.