Severus had never liked the idea of weakness.
His mother had been a pureblood witch who'd attended Hogwarts before him, and she'd come from a long line of purebloods. She became the black sheep of the family when she married a Muggle, and she gave up everything for him. Her own family alienated her, and so did many of her friends. Yet when Snape's father found out she was a witch, he never forgave her for it. They'd shared conservative social values, and a magical talent was just a bit too out of the ordinary. Not only that, but he felt as though Snape's mother had broken a foundation of trust by waiting so long to tell him.
He demanded that she stopped using magic, and she agreed. She only used magic when his father wasn't around, and it was usually to entertain Severus, or to help her clean up the house. Despite the fact that she was a powerful witch who could've had her pick of Ministry jobs, she became a Muggle housewife. The fighting got even worse when his father came home early one day, to find the pots and pans scrubbing themselves. Severus could tell that his father hated not being in control, hated that this made his dainty wife more powerful than him.
Severus resented both of them.
He resented his father for trying to take away his mom's magic. He resented his mom for letting him. He resented both of them for fighting all the time, and constantly taking it out on him afterwards. Neither of them were particularly warm to begin with, but the fighting certainly didn't help. Severus just made a concerted effort not to spend his free time at home, and mostly spent his days wandering alone in the woods by his house. A group of boys in the neighborhood liked to pick on him, but he was quicker than them, and usually managed to avoid them.
But eventually, they caught up with him. They began taunting him about his baggy clothes and his long hair, and began getting closer and closer, like they might hit him. Only the sound of a girl's voice got them to back up. It was two girls who lived nearby, but in a wealthier part of the city. The girl who had spoken had flaming red hair and the greenest eyes that Severus had ever seen. Although she was half their size, she threatened to tell their parents what they were up to, mentioning she knew exactly where they lived. And grumbling, the boys had left, and they left Severus alone.
Severus, wide-eyed and grateful, but shy as ever, had run in the opposite direction before either of the two girls could say another word. But he went looking for them again, and was thrilled to find out that the redheaded girl seemed to be a witch. He couldn't believe his luck, and he planned for days how he would introduce himself again. But when the time came, he could never bring himself to admit that she had helped him out of a bullying incident. So he never mentioned it again, and neither did Lily. He suspected that she didn't even remember, but he would never forget.
It was hard not to like Lily. She was clearly full of magic, even able to control it when it came to flowers. She was pretty and smart, and she never once acted like she was better than Severus. She never mentioned anything about the way he looked or the way he dressed. She never made him feel insufficient or self-conscious, the way he always was when he was around other kids. And nine year old Severus, who had never had many friends to begin with, fell almost immediately for his new friend. Nobody had ever been this kind or this warm to him, and certainly not anybody as good or as pretty as her.
When they went off to Hogwarts, Severus only hoped that she would be sorted into Slytherin, like he knew he would ask for. But she became a Gryffindor, and she began hanging around the likes of James Potter and Sirius Black. Not really knowing how else to handle the situation, or his jealousy, Severus often lashed out at the two boys. They were easy to set off, and naturally, Lily picked Severus's side because of their long standing friendship. And although Severus managed to drive a wedge between Lily and them, he realized he'd also made a group of enemies that would last through his time at school.
Severus also found a home in Slytherin, one that he'd never had with his parents. He fell in with his roommates, most of whom came from rich, pureblood families. They respected him once they saw how quick-witted and good at magic Severus was. And Severus realized he could actually make friends here, friends who weren't outcasts. They were popular and well-liked, especially in Slytherin. But more importantly, they were feared and respected. Severus saw the way people treated him when he was with them, and he reveled in the feeling it gave him. The more he read and learned about the Dark Arts, the more Avery, Rosier, and Mulciber hung out with him. Severus had his way in, and he also had friends who would cover his back when Potter and Black came after him. He couldn't give up that feeling of security, not even for Lily.
He knew his friendship with his roommates was pushing him further and further away from Lily, but Severus genuinely thought he could have both. Lily's schedule was much tighter than his, and he made a valiant effort to meet her whenever she wanted. He knew he could spend the rest of his free time with his own friends, since he lived with them. Although Lily didn't approve of them, their friendship was still rock solid throughout most of third year. They saw each other every other day, even if just briefly.
But during third and fourth year, things really began to escalate. One of Lily's best friends was probably the most radical person that Severus had ever met, and she hated Severus and his friends with a burning passion. She didn't pull pranks or bully them about childish things like Black and Potter. McKinnon challenged them in the classroom, called them bigots when they spoke, and turned Lily against him. Lily began taking more and more of an issue with Severus's new interest in the Dark Arts, and his own friends. Severus could even hear it in the way that Lily confronted him, using McKinnon's vocabulary of "blood purism" and "oppression."
Things were already rocky between the two, but they hit a breaking point sometime in fifth year. Avery and Mulciber had been wandering the halls when they found Mary Macdonald walking back to her room past curfew. And just a couple days ago, they'd learned about five Dark spells, each of which could dull one of the five senses. They'd been itching to practice it on somebody, and Macdonald coming along had seemed like ideal timing. They'd had their fun, and then they took care to undo each of the spells after they'd been cast. Avery and Mulciber didn't want to leave any physical evidence of their harm, to keep them out of trouble. But they'd taken their time and they had not been kind to her. When Severus heard from Lily the things that the pair had said to Macdonald while she was incapacitated, even his stomach turned.
Severus wished it had been any other combination of the four besides Mulciber and Avery. Mulciber was the most prone to violence of the group. He was the only one who liked to practice his Dark magic on animals when there was no other subject, and he did so fairly regularly. Avery was the ringleader of the group, the one who prided himself on his intelligence. His interest in Dark magic felt genuine, like a student might be interested in Transfiguration. Avery took his responsibility as a pureblood seriously, and felt the weight of that very real responsibility. In contrast, Rosier spent most of his free time chasing girls, although he was never kind nor respectful of them, and didn't take too much too seriously.
Lily was never the same after that, and she could no longer spend time with Severus without some kind of argument flaring between them. His grades dropped a bit that year, not only because of that, but also because James Potter spent every other week publicly asking her out. Severus couldn't stand the idea, and he even began taking out some of his frustration with Potter out on Lily. He didn't think she was really turning him down. Every time Severus witnessed it, she seemed a bit entertained, and only mildly irritated. He knew it was unfair, but he couldn't help it. It was unbearable to him.
Potter and his friends became something of an obsession for him, to the point where Severus would spend hours thinking of how to get them back. It wasn't until Black made a passing mention about how to get past the Whomping Willow and he glimpsed a werewolf beneath the tree, that Severus stopped. He barely remembered anything from that night, and was even more unsure of how he'd gotten out of that situation. A visit from Dumbledore in the hospital wing hadn't cleared anything up, either. Severus was just told that he wasn't to tell anybody that Lupin was a werewolf. And knowing that Dumbledore's work had provided him a yearly stipend to afford new robes and textbooks, Severus agreed to keep his silence.
It wasn't until the afternoon of the Defense Against the Dark Arts O.W.L. exam that he ruined everything.
His friends used the m-word like it was nothing. Hearing it so often, it became a part of Severus's regular vocabulary as well, although he made sure never to use the word around Lily. It had, truly, just slipped in that moment. He was being publicly humiliated by a boy that was regularly asking out the object of his affections. He hadn't been thinking clearly, but he also knew that none of it mattered. Nothing justified what he had done. Lily thought so as well, and their conversation outside the Gryffindor common room was the last real conversation they ever had.
He was hopelessly and irrevocably in love with her, but it didn't matter. He knew that he had broken their friendship for good by doing the unforgivable. Lily could forgive him for almost anything, and she'd forgiven him for being irresponsible, overbearing, and impatient. She made him feel like he mattered, despite everything he had done, and what he was like. But she wasn't able to forgive him for his blood purism, for believing that certain people were less than them because of the blood running through their veins. It almost made Severus love her more, but it was hard to come to terms with. Her moral compass had always pointed north, and Severus resented himself for not being able to get there as quickly as her.
After that, Severus was left with nothing but his friends in Slytherin. His family was broken, and Lily wouldn't speak to him. He only had his friends, and his friends were only tied together by a shared hobby of the Dark Arts and the bond of Slytherin house. It was the only path that he felt like he had, so he took it, and he fully committed to it. After all, Severus was convinced that all Muggles were like his father, out to snuff out magic because they feared it, and because they were jealous they didn't have it.
"We're all meeting later," Avery said, glancing around them in the hallway. He spoke quietly, but he didn't need to. The fliers were all over the school, impossible to miss. Everybody that passed them gave them a wide berth, not wanting to garner any attention from these Slytherins when they were already clearly having a bad day. As the students walked past, they suddenly fell into single file, some of them even picking up their pace as they passed the group of Slytherins.
"Who's coming?" Rosier asked him immediately. Severus followed his gaze to Avery, who was the default ringleader for a reason. His father had gone to school with Voldemort, and was one of the founding Death Eaters. Not to mention, Avery came from a long line of wealthy purebloods. It was often his house they gathered at over breaks, his room they gathered in for the evenings.
"Half of Regulus Black's family was on there," Avery said.
"Wilkes's brother and father," Severus added.
"Anybody else?" Mulciber asked. "Regulus Black will probably bring Crouch. Dorcas will want to come with Wilkes, I imagine."
"I don't know if I want Michelle to come," Avery frowned. Michelle Wilkes was his longtime girlfriend, and they'd been together for three, four years now. She was equally as clever, ruthless, and rich as Avery, with an uncanny talent for uncovering information and using it to blackmail people.
"She'll probably come anyways," Avery added, seeming to relent. "Fine. Can we trust Crouch?"
"Don't know. His father is rounding up Death Eaters as we speak," Mulciber said.
"I'll see if Michelle can get us anything on him," Avery said. "We might have to leave him out of this. The apple never falls far from the tree."
"Tell that to Sirius Black's parents," Severus said dryly.
"Every family has a black sheep," Avery said dismissively. "I have an uncle who's obsessed with Muggle guns. He says there's beauty in using Muggle weapons to get rid of Muggles."
"He's an artist," Mulciber said serenely.
"Can we get back on track?" Rosier asked impatiently. "We know who did this, right?"
"Macdonald and McKinnon," Mulciber said. "We ran into them and Evans the other day. Told us they were going to send the lot of us to Azkaban."
"No, I think – " Severus began, but Avery cut him off.
"We shouldn't talk about this here," he said, looking around again. "Let's wait until tonight."
Throughout the day, Severus watched as Mulciber sent the rest of them ideas for how to get back at the Gryffindors. He worried about Lily with every note that Mulciber sent, and he wondered how he could convince them that it had been Potter and Black. Severus was sure it was them anyways, and he had just started to explain that when Avery told them all to wait.
"Good, everybody's here now," Avery said, pointing his wand at the door. He looked around at the eight Slytherins, and Michelle Jugson was the first to speak.
"My brother was on those leaflets," Michelle said angrily, and sparks actually flew out of the wand she was clutching tightly in her hand.
"Half my family was. I know Sirius handpicked those people," Regulus said fiercely. He and Barty were standing towards the back of the room, the only sixth years to have been invited. Severus let out a tiny sigh of relief at this transition in the conversation.
"No, Macdonald is behind this," Michelle shot back, looking livid. She brushed her long, blonde hair out of her face, and Avery ran a hand down her back to soothe her. "She threatened just the other day to expose me for having Death Eater intel."
"That's funny. Macdonald also threatened to send me and Mulciber to Azkaban yesterday. Busy girl," Rosier said lazily, lounging backwards. He glanced over at Mulciber. "We ought to teach her another lesson."
"No, Sirius was definitely involved," Regulus insisted. "Four of my family members are on it."
"Who cares who made them?" Barty put in. "I'm sure it was a team effort. We go after all of them."
"That's a good plan. Don't they all live together?" Avery asked. "The blokes in one room, the birds in another." He turned to Severus for this one, who looked up in surprise.
"I don't know, but I think Regulus is right," Severus said carefully, avoiding the question. "This doesn't seem like something that McKinnon did. If she knew all this, she would say it to our faces." He knew that targeting her would almost certainly implicate Lily as well, especially if they did something that compromised their living space.
"If this was a prank, I'd say you're right," Michelle said. "But this is way more legitimate. This reeks of McKinnon." She actually lowered her voice to add, "And I heard that both her parents are anti-rebels."
"So what are we going to do?" Mulciber pressed.
"We could pay off some first year to release something into their rooms," Rosier suggested. "Boggarts. Pixies. Spiders. Maybe poisonous ones."
"That's not enough," Michelle said, shaking her head. "I saw Amelia Bones collecting these pamphlets and going to the owlery with them. I followed her, and she's sending these to her father at the Ministry. They're actually going to use these bloody leaflets as intel."
"The Ministry is pathetic," Rosier snorted.
"So, we need something bigger," Avery said thoughtfully.
"I say we target every Muggle-born and blood traitor in school," Mulciber said. "Give them a warning about what happens to people like them. Chamber of Secrets style."
Snape resisted the urge to say something. Mulciber really was manic sometimes.
"We can't," Michelle said, sounding frustrated. "At least, not without blowback. Threats aren't considered protected speech at Hogwarts. If we do something that widespread, people are going to go to Dumbledore about it. And you know that Mudblood sympathizer is going to investigate it."
"Miss future Wizengamot," Avery murmured. Everybody knew that Michelle wanted to go into magical law after graduation, and she certainly had the mind for it. She was sharp as a tack, and as manipulative as she was smart. Plus, her friends would naturally support her in a career that would pardon them for any suspected involvement with Dark witches and wizards. Michelle paused to flash him a quick smile.
"Graffiti, then," Michelle said. "We start spreading the Dark Mark around school. Not the spell, I know we'd be caught in a second if we tried it – "
"Not like any of us know it," Rosier muttered.
" – but handwrite it with permanent ink. The simplified version of it, of course. An infinity sign with a line through it. Spread it with warnings in the bathrooms, in used textbooks. They can't catch us if we use ink," Michelle finished. She looked around triumphantly, and heads were nodding.
"That's good, that's good," Avery murmured. "We need more."
"Let's make them bleed," Mulciber said. "Potter, Evans, and Lupin are all on prefect duty. They'll be out alone after curfew. I say we just find one of them and use them to send a message to their friends."
"Potter and Evans don't do patrol anymore," Michelle said, as one of the only prefects in the room. "Head Boy and Head Girl don't actually have to, anymore."
"They do if one of us doesn't show up," Avery said pointedly. He and Michelle exchanged a smile.
"Perfect," Mulciber said. "One message for each room. Go light on the bleeding, we don't need them running to Madam Pomfrey and getting us in trouble."
Severus's mind was racing, searching desperately for something to say to keep Lily out of this, but he couldn't think of anything. He didn't have a rational reason for this plan not to work, and he knew anything less than that would only make his friends taunt him for having feelings for Lily.
"What about a Plan B?" Severus asked smoothly. "They could make some new prefects take your shifts, right?"
"That's true," Avery said, frowning.
"Back to the other plan," Michelle said slowly. "With the warning. They seem to like propaganda. Why don't we spread news of Muggle attacks that have happened this year? If they didn't get in trouble for spreading their posters, we can't get in trouble for this, either."
"And the articles will speak for themselves," Severus said. "Perfect."