Our weekly guy's night in Shepard's cabin started earlier. I'm late. My omnitool ran out of power and when I headed up, the guys were already watching Biotic ball. Someone good happen based on the loud cheers and chips flying everywhere. I sit down on the edge of the couch and watch until it is half time.
"I should take Liara to a match one of these days" Shepard said.
"Front row seats?" I ask.
"Even as a spectre I can't afford that." He said.
"Rob a bank" I suggested.
"We don't have those here" Shepard said.
"Thank god!" I cry.
"Does Tali like sports?" Jacob asked.
"No. When she isn't being a workaholic, she likes to read while I cuddle with her." I said.
"I leave the room when that happens" Garrus said.
"Thanks for the privacy. PDA feels weird to me. Hopefully you'll meet a girl soon who will fall in love with your voice." A lot of the females fans liked him.
"You two seem very happy together. I'm glad it's working out between you two" Shepard said.
"Well, it's not all sunshine and rainbows." I said.
"What? That's surprising to hear it coming from you. We thought you're crazy about her" Jacob said.
"Don't get me wrong. I love Tali but dating her has its problems. I have been alone for decades in the energy planes with only imaginary conversations in my head to entertain me and I came up with some pretty good lines, but whatever I came up with doesn't get the reactions I was hoping for. I tell her she makes my heart feel full of sugar and nothing. Quarians don't have sugar, so she doesn't know what I mean. I just want to make her feel good you know?"
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"What is it guys?"
Garrus points out "You just said you love her."
"Yeah, I do. What is nine months of dating too early for that special word in this universe? In my universe after a year of dating, a proposal was kinda expected, but I like to take my time." I said.
"Have you told her that?" Garrus asked.
"Not yet. I like to wait for the right time" I said.
"You've only been dating her for four months" Jacob said.
"Ha nice try. I'm not falling for your pranks again guys." I said.
EDI's miniature sphere pops on Shepard's desk, she confirms we've only dated for 15 weeks.
WHAT? Normally time just passes right by. Does it feel longer when I'm with her? I said I loved her out loud way too fast. My cheeks fill with blood from the embarrassment I feel. I bury my eyes into my palms.
"Why are you reacting like that?" Shepard slaps my shoulder.
"Because this is embarrassing. Developing such feelings way too soon. Please don't tell Tali. I don't want to scare her off." I said.
"You have nothing to worry about" Jacob said.
"Bud there is no timeline for this stuff" Garrus said.
"You two have known each other for years and always had this unique close relationship. It's not surprising when you think about it." Shepard said.
"It's natural it would progress in what seems a short period of time. I'm betting she feels the same" Garrus said. Thinking Tali feels the same way makes me feel oh so happy. IMMENSE BRAIN TINGLES.
I ask "What do you think? Should I tell her?"
Jacob said "Go with your gut and wait for the right moment."
While the boys are having their time in Shepard's cabin, us girls are having our get together in Miranda's room. We've been watching Citadel encounters from the beginning with Jack. The episodes we are on, everyone has seen except Jack. It's fun to watch people's reactions. ********* recovered quickly from matriarch flu and is feeling much better. Thank the ancestors. I know there was no actual risk of him being taken away from that disease, but I was still scared. I have the necklace he bought me in my hands, gently rubbing it with my thumb.
"Oh La! Where did you get the bling girl?" Kasumi asked while making a grabbing motion. She better not steal this. I hold it tight to my chest.
"********* bought this for me on our first date" I said.
"You've been staring at that thing pretty intensely. How is everything between you two?" Kelly asked.
"Things are wonderful between us... I'm debating about showing him my face." I said.
"You mean he hasn't?" Miranda asked.
Samara explains for me "after quarians were exiled from their homeworld and forced into their suits, their immune systems have weakened. Showing one's face carries risk and has become an important gesture for quarian couples."
"I've never shown my face to anyone, and I don't know…" I said.
"Is this like a marriage proposal?" Kasumi asked.
"No, but it is a step in that direction." I said.
"What's holding you back?" Gabby asked.
"What if he doesn't like the way I look?" I confess.
"Do you want to show us, and we can judge?" What Miranda asked was insensitive, however I realize her intentions were good. My face will only be for my bondmate to see.
"I don't want to risk it with so many people in the room." *********'s manner of speech is rubbing off on me.
"I don't think that will be a problem. He's the type to go for personality rather than beauty, besides the way his eyes dot all over you when you're not looking could put him on some kind of watch list" Kelly exaggerates.
"Maybe. It's more... I'm very attracted to him, both his mind and body, and I want to feel the same way towards me." I said.
Jack asks "can we talk about something not disgusting for a night?"
Samara says "ignore her. ********* cares for you deeply, when we are alone, he has asked me for ways to strengthen your relationship. Lessons for quarian language or any romantic gestures I had witnessed before your race's banishment from Rannoch. He even talked to your father for advice."
"He did?!" ********* avoids my father like a plague. He really talked to him for me?
"Yes. That man truly cares for you. If you are ready, I believe it would make him very happy to finally see the face of the woman he holds so close to his heart."
"You're very lucky to have him" Gabby said.
"Any woman would kill for a man that hunky" Kelly said.
"And the fact he is overlooking everything else and still chose to date you says something" Miranda regretted saying those words as soon as he realized what she said.
"What do you mean? What is there to overlook?" I ask.
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"Well.. human men tend to be visual creatures so a man falling for you despite not being able to see your face is special." Kasumi said.
"We don't want to freak you out, but he has commented on things he wanted that you can't exactly provide" Kelly said.
"I believe I know what you are referring too. A part of me feels guilty that I can't do that. He deserves all the things that would bring him immense happiness and… and… I can't make him happy" slowly I start to cry. My anxiety is exploding like my heart.
Samara holds me, attempting to calm me down. "Child you do make him very happy. Your own eyes have seen it."
"But what if he realizes I won't…? Will he leave me?" labored breaths exercise my upper lungs. I haven't felt this way since Saren's men almost killed me.
"I don't think he would do that. Besides he's immortal, he could find someone else after you. I think I should stop talking" Miranda said.
"Tali, listen close my dear. I am nearly a millennium old. Experience has taught me many lessons. Some easy, other harsh. One I can tell you is things do tend to work out. You just need to keep moving forward no matter how difficult things get. Would you please try to calm yourself down. ********* would hate seeing you so upset" Samara said. Her words brought me back to my senses. I do the breathing technique and let the feelings fade away.
"Thank you, Samara. I am feeling kind of better now." I'm definitely going to have to clean this mask. I really hope I don't trigger my immune system on accident.
"Can we quit with the sappy stuff and get back to the season finale?" Jack suggested. I could use a distraction.
I hope Samara is right. Everything has worked out pretty well so far. Just maybe things will be ok in the end.