She stood there, in the living room for god knows how long before she snapped out of it.
Marching towards the door, she grabbed the handle firmly just about to open it when her breath caught. She stared outside through the glass. It was pitch black out there. And as much as she didn't want Tomak leaving like he had, she really hated the dark.
"Don't be a coward," she whispered harshly under her breath. As if that was all the motivation she needed, she turned the knob and swung the door open, stepping out in the cool air.
"Tomak!" she called after him. With eyes hardly adjusted to the dark, she barely managed to make out the handrails to the stairs of her deck. Grabbing it like it was a lifeline, she blindly descended the stairs, squinting through the cold unfeeling darkness.
She could hear and feel everything just fine, but not seeing anything heightened her senses further.
Her toes touched sand and immediately her hold tightened minutely on the handrail, making it groan. Still as blind as before, she hollered his name over the crashing waves hoping to see or hear him, but it was useless.
The wind whipped at her bare arms causing goosebumps to form. She was harshly reminded that she had forgotten to grab her coat. Shivering helplessly like a chihuahua, she bit her bottom lip hard and turned back for the stairs. It was pointless to go after Tomak if she couldn't even see him.
Stepping into the warm safe haven of her home, she yanked the blanket from off the couch and wrapped it snuggly around her shoulders, her pulse rapid and her breathing heavy.
Sinking down to the floor, she sat there against the wall, deciding to wait patiently for Tomak's return.
Her heart was still fluttering at the news that Tomak did feel something for her, and that coincided with the guilt she felt with her choice of actions these past couple days.
She wasn't sure what a mate was to his people, but she was certain it held a special place in his customs. But what exactly did that mean for her? Did he really feel that way about her, or was it a spur of the moment response? It pained her to think that it was.
She needed answers and she needed them now.
So with determination she sat there, waiting and staring tiredly at the door for Tomak's return. Her eyes blinked long and slow, fighting to keep awake. The heavy sensation in her eyes made her want to give in, and eventually she succumbed to it.
"You let her go?" his tone was quiet, but every bit malicious.
Taking a long breath, McKenna sat without a care in the world, looking out the window of the van to admire the lack of clouds in the sky. He acted as if he weren't on an important call. "That would be correct," he obliged anyway.
There was sudden silence on the other line. Never a good thing when it came to Price. Maybe he ticked him off. The corner of his mouth kicked up at the notion. Good.
He was getting tired of this. One bad op was all it took for him to be working under this ridiculous branch. It was laughable really, and to think that he actually accepted this job over retirement.
"I'm beginning to think I hired the wrong McKenna."
He clenched his jaw, his lips puckering as he endured the damned voice of the director. He was almost certain he was Price's second choice. Second to none other than his son, of course, but as it turned out, Quinn was serving his second term in the army somewhere overseas. Just the mere thought of his kid being a more prime choice over himself pricked at his pride.
He hadn't spoken to him in years, not after he stubbornly ignored his advice and joined the military. He warned him what it would do to his marriage, but he stupidly didn't listen. In the end, he didn't blame Emily for wanting the divorce, he just wished his grandson didn't have to suffer the consequences of the separation. The boy needed his father in his life.
"Your motive," Price spoke venomously, reeling him back to the conversation at present, "is Rae. I do not care about the whereabouts of her friend–"
"Sir," he said this with every bit of restraint, "with all due respect," he sighed, "if you would just let me do my job, you'd get what you want."
There was another small bout of silence before he heard, "Then finish it."
Hearing the line end, McKenna tossed his cell phone on a nearby table before turning back to the screens set up in the van. He watched his men move pointedly as a unit toward their target.
Price was impatient. He did not see the delicacy of this mission as he did.
He was by no means expending his guys by blindly going after the asset. If there was going to be a fight, he wanted it on his own terms. It was the most sound plan strategically. There was no telling what they could come across on her own turf. Those unknowns could lead to stupid, rushed mistakes, and that usually meant lives.
Mckenna grabbed the walkie, ordering his delta team to move into position.
He was confident in his work. And if everything went according to his plan, little miss Rae would come to them.
Her eyes peeled open against her own wishes, slowly drawing her back to consciousness. Blinking soft and slow, she allowed herself to adjust before she opened her eyes fully, getting a glimpse of her environment. There was light peeking in from behind the window shades, but not too bright, which meant it was still morning.
"Mmm," she groaned tiredly. Not wanting to get up, she rolled onto her stomach, burying her face in the pillow that held Tomak's masculine scent so strongly. It was like a drug that wanted to lull her back into that blissful sleep. Pulling the covers higher over her shoulder, Rae planned to do just that, when she froze. It took a good long moment before her mind caught up with her other senses and she sat up with a gasp, staring incredulously at the bed beneath her.
Stripping the covers off her legs she swung them over the edge and did a quick assessment of the room. She was in her bedroom– well technically it was Tomak's room now. And this was his bed. But as expected and much to her relief, there was no surly yautja in sight.
Slipping off the bed, she hurried into the living room hoping to find him there. He wasn't. She then walked through the kitchen and dining room, still with no luck. Turning back to the living space she took a calming breath, running her fingers through her scalp as a calming gesture. She needed to be in control of herself if she was going to talk to him about last night.
A little bit calmer, she turned her attention to the handsome gray cat lounging on top of the couch. Kneeling on the cushions she scratched his head and behind his ears. "Did you see Tomak this morning?" she asked him, earning herself a purr. "Was he in a good or bad mood?"
Chase rolled onto his side, his green eyes soft as he stretched and readjusted himself. "Mraa!"
Rae ran her hand down his fur coat, with a sigh, "That's what I thought."
Leaving him she grabbed a sweater and went outside. She wasn't disappointed with the sight.
Further off down the beach Tomak was in his usual spot training, maybe a little more aggressively than normal, but all that mattered was that he was still here.
Making her way down the steps, she watched his form, his speed, his nonstop movement. Just looking at him in action was making her heart stutter within her chest. She almost wanted to go back inside and avoid any possible confrontation at all, her nerves were driving her crazy.
Stepping out onto the sandy flats, she watched for Tomak's reaction once she came into view. And when he saw her, her heart just about dropped. He looked at her for the briefest of moments then stiffly turned away, walking in the direction of the ocean waves.
Rae paused for a fraction of a second as he stepped into the likely frigid water. And when he kept on going, only then did she realize that he was going all the way in, stopping when the water rose just above his chest.
She hesitated, unsure of herself when she looked down at his weapon laying carelessly on the ground. Walking toward it, she went and picked it up. It had some sand on it, which she dusted off. Turning it in her hands, she examined how clean it always was. There weren't any fingerprints or signs of dirt or rust. Tomak took good care of it. She had seen how much he polished his armor, she was almost certain he used the same care for his weapons too.
Then her thoughts drifted in a different direction. If this was how he treated inanimate objects, how much more respect and honor did he show to people in his life that he cared about.
She stood straighter, exhaling gently as she looked over in Tomak's direction. He hadn't moved. Turning to sit, she rested the long spear horizontally in her lap as she waited patiently for him to return.
A soft breeze blew down the beach, causing her hair to wisp about. She hugged her legs tighter, quickly tucking her hair behind her ears.
She didn't really know what to say to him when he arrived. He was so big and masculine, most of the time it was overwhelming, and now it felt even more so as she thought about how he might feel about her.
It felt like high school all over again. But this wasn't Jake she was admitting feelings for, she was trying to talk with a very large and alluring alien. She smoothed her hands over her face with a sigh. She was so nervous.
Peering back to where Tomak had gone last, her eyes widened seeing him turn. He was coming back. Deep breaths, she reminded herself, deep deep breaths.
Tomak stalked towards her, his movements stiff. As he got closer, Rae could make out more details. For one, he kept turning his face away, as if he were focused on something else in the distance, but she knew better. He was trying to not pay her any notice, but he wouldn't be able to play that card forever.
When he finally stood directly in front, Rae tensed, looking him over.
He was dripping wet, his loincloth clinging in such a way that made her anxious. She tilted her head all the way back, determined to keep her eyes trained on his face.
"Hi," she met his eyes, her nerves once again making themselves known.
He gave a small grunt, and stepped off to the side, bending down to grab the towel she hadn't noticed before. He brought it to his face, drying himself off.
Reminding herself to be strong, Rae used this precious time to talk.
Deep breaths, she directed herself, trying to calm her mind. It was enough for her to break the silence. "Thank you."
She watched him pause in the corner of her vision, the action making her smile timidly. He stared at her openly then, his eyes as potent as ever. "For what?"
She swallowed hearing the depth of his voice. Resting her arms on the tops of her knees, she indulged further. "I know you carried me to bed last night, even after…" she bit her lip, losing her confidence to continue with that thought, "...s-so I wanted to thank you."
Tomak nodded once, lowering his gaze from her eyes, which made her deflate in disappointment. Was this going to be it? Her doing all the talking and him hardly doing anything at all. Why did he have to make this so hard?!
Just as she opened her mouth to say something else, he reached his hand out.
At first, she wasn't sure what for, when she remembered she had his spear. She quickly lifted it up for him to take. Her eyes drifting to his biceps as he took the weapon and turned it in his hands. It was then that he started using the towel as if he were polishing an imperfection that she knew wasn't there.
"What do you want?" he spoke, his back now to her as he focused on his trivial task.
She swallowed, fidgeting hesitantly. "Just to talk."
A growl left his mouth as he shook his head, causing the rings in his spines to clink together. He started to walk away. "There is nothing to be said."
She blinked in surprise at his retreat, her heart seizing painfully in her chest. "Yes there is," she countered.
Hurrying back onto her feet, she stood there staring at the back of his head with a hurt expression. "You can't just say what you did last night and then act like it means nothing to you!"
He stilled momentarily at her claim, though he didn't make any move to turn. "I wasn't myself. I spoke without control."
It felt like he wanted to say more, but he didn't. Was this his way of saying he didn't mean what he said? Something told her not to believe that.
"Did you mean it?" she pressed.
Her question caught him off-guard, but he finally turned, his gold eyes meeting her darker ones.
"Did you mean what you said last night?" she asked again, needing to know.
"Rae…" he began looking everywhere but her.
"No, don't give me that," she stepped forward, making him look down at her. "Do you really feel that way about me?" she implored. Honestly, it felt like something inside her was going to break.
He looked at her with a hidden expression she couldn't quite read, but his eyes practically glowed. "Yes."
Her heart started beating again, her eyes stinging with tears. "So all those times you called me gorgeous, you weren't making fun of me, you meant it?"
He blinked, those eyes flaring like a flashlight being turned on and off in the dark. "Did you not believe it was genuine?"
She folded her arms, looking away anxiously. She had secretly wished that was what he meant by it, but she never assumed. "I don't know what to believe anymore."
He was quiet, too much for her taste. Maybe he was uncomfortable.
Rae swallowed down her reservations and held his gaze once again, finally admitting, "I care for you too, Tomak."
There was a vulnerability that she had never seen before glimmering in his eyes, his mandibles fluttering, but all that was masked as his gaze turned hard as stone. "I do not need your pity," he growled ominously and Rae nearly flinched at his accusation.
Then all at once, he whirled away, striding off in the opposite direction of the house, much to her dismay.
"I-I'm not pitying you!" she called after him. His fast paced walk didn't cease, forcing Rae to run ahead of him.
"I really do care about you, Tomak!"
He looked like he was going to brush her aside so she stepped in front of him, placing both hands on his chest. "Please, listen to me."
"No!" he swatted her hands away from him. "I will not listen to your lies any longer!"
"I wouldn't lie to you, not about this," she ignored his savage growl as she closed the gap between them a second time, looking up into his glowing eyes.
"It is better if you forget yesterday, forget what I said," his eyes still held a sharpness to them, but she could hear his tone begin to lower.
She shook her head at him, tilting her head to look deeply in his eyes. "I can't forget something like that," she softened her voice. As soon as she did, it was like she was looking into soft pools of liquid honey as he stared back at her. Caught in the intensity of his gaze she couldn't stop herself, "Tomak, I love you."
Immediately, like striking a match, her nerves and anxiety swarmed her and she desperately searched in Tomak's eyes for something to cling to; a sign, a hope.
He stiffened. His eyes hardening once more, he turned away from her.
"Tomak, wait–"
"No!" he spun on his heel, sending his dreads flying. His sudden burst of anger made her shrink back.
"You have made your decision! Do not back out of it!" he snarled. "Go back to that male if he pleases you! Claim him for all I care, I am not stopping you!"
Rae didn't know she was crying until she felt the tears streaming down her cheeks. She kept shaking her head, trying to convey her feelings. "Damon doesn't please me," she cried, stepping closer to him, hoping he would understand.
"He was a distraction. I…" she lowered her head, failing to hold back her overpowering emotions, "I was trying to make myself like him because, really, I was having feelings for you."
Tomak's eyes instantly shut tight at her confession, the clicking staccato she was accustomed to hearing moving deep within his chest.
Taking advantage of his silence, she took two steps towards him and wrapped her arms around his torso, pressing her face firmly against his abs. "It was never my intention to hurt you. I kept telling myself that you wouldn't want me because you deserve better." Her breathing hitched as she admitted regretfully, "...And you do deserve better, Tomak. Way better than me."
A hand suddenly was around the nape of her neck and before she could question it, the grip forced her head back making her look in Tomak's angry eyes. It was so sudden that she hadn't realized the fingers of his other hand was clamped over her waist, keeping her in place.
The way he was looking at her, those pupils so large, and the way he was holding her, it was all so very dominant. It forced the air out of her lungs, her heart hammering excitedly in her chest. Why did this thrill her?
To make it worse, he bent his head down, his mouth hovering over her exposed throat, the clicking noise holding strong. His long black spines spilled over his shoulders as he held her closer. He huffed gently then, his mouth close to her pulse point.
After taking in her scent he turned his attention to her face, his mandibles just a hair's width from her cheeks. "No one decides what I deserve but me."
She shivered, blinking up at him. Uh-huh. Okay, she wanted to agree with him, but she was in such a trance the words wouldn't come out. Then a dreadful thought came to her. I didn't brush my teeth. Oh god, does my breath smell?
All at once she was released.
"I need to hunt," he moved past her.
Rae felt disoriented as she stood there watching him leave in a hurry. She wasn't quite sure what just happened, but as she slowly got her bearings, turning back for the house, she shook her head in silent embarrassment. "I should have brushed my teeth."
It was only when she was standing with a toothbrush in her mouth, staring at her reflection in the mirror that she groaned in pure frustration. Thinking back to her interaction with Tomak, she knew she shouldn't have said she loved him. It was too soon.
She pulled the electric brush from her mouth and spit into the sink, frowning at her stupidity. Just because Tomak liked her enough to feel an attraction didn't mean he loved her. She recalled the way he stiffened as she professed her feelings. She practically bared her soul for him to see and he turned away.
Maybe it was because he didn't believe me. He thought I wanted Damon. She breathed a heavy sigh, before putting the oscillating brush head back into her mouth.
Truthfully, there was nothing wrong with Damon. She was sure he would make a great husband for someone. He just wasn't what she had been looking for, Tomak was. How she wished she hadn't strung him into this! Tomak wasn't the only one that deserved better, so did Damon.
Looking down at her phone, she internally made a decision.
Staring back into the mirror, she made sure to scrub her tongue really well before one last final spit into the sink. Rinsing her brush and putting it away, she reached for her phone bringing up Damon's contact. She had been dreading this, but she knew it was the right thing to do. She didn't want to lead him on.
Taking a deep breath she typed out her message, reading and re-reading it before pressing send.
Rae: Hey Damon. When you get a chance, can we talk?
She left it at that. She didn't want to end the relationship through a text, it would be inconsiderate on her part, besides she needed him to hear her voice, she didn't want there to be a miscommunication between texts.
Putting the phone down on the side table by the bed, she plugged it into a charger attached to the wall. She would wait for him to respond.
Turning for the living room, she looked out the large windows, reminding herself that his hunt would take more than a couple minutes. She was so impatient to see him it was killing her.
"Ugh, stop being such a sap," she huffed, spinning on her heel. She tried to dispel all thoughts concerning the yautja. Maybe cleaning up the kitchen would help pass the time.
Moving swiftly through the dense forest Tomak kept his focus tuned to his surroundings as he tracked the white-haired beast. No prey of his ever eluded him for long. When he finally caught sight of his chosen prey, his steady footsteps slowed, his movements like a shadow: present, but silent.
He always was the better hunter when it came to stealth, much to Kish'on's dislike. His mei'hswei much preferred facing his opponents head on. Not always the wisest strategy, but his brute strength had yet to fail him as far as he knew. He could imagine the trophies he collected for this mating season. His efforts were never in vain, and his arrogance was always just shy of unbearable at this time.
Stalking silently, he moved with purpose towards his unsuspecting prey.
It had taken much planning and effort, but he had successfully freed the animal from the small enclosure it had been placed in. He could never understand why humans thought it wise to put several species within cages. And some did not even resemble the environments the species should have been in. It was dishonorable.
He had watched as young children stepped up to the glass of enclosures that contained large cats ten times the size of Chase, laughing as the predator would deliberately stalk them. Even the adults thought it was entertaining. It was sickening. A child would learn more at a hunting party.
There had been many predator species in captivity, some more interesting and volatile than others. One such creature instantly captured his attention and after seeing it move when feeding time came, he decided he would give this beast an honorable end at his hand. It would be more humane than what it endured in this place.
Patiently watching and waiting, Tomak identified his chosen prey and put his plan into action when the facility closed. When he challenged it, he wanted it to have plenty of room in case it chose to flee.
Part of him hoped it would.
With the mating season upon him, his blood was boiling with a need to give chase and conquer. Though, it wasn't the large predator he wanted to be conquered more than it was the little temptation back at the dwelling.
She must have been designed by the goddess herself to play with his male weakness like this. It was maddening torture. When she had expressed her weakness for him, he had not missed the fear of rejection in her eyes. But even now it drove him mad with need. And when she honored him, by admitting that she thought he deserved better, he almost took her right there in the sand, not an ideal place for mating.
He recalled the way she felt beneath his claws, her throat so beautifully exposed, her scent exquisite and sweet. And she didn't even put up a fight. She was so submissive it took everything in his will power to release her and separate himself before he took it further.
Shaking his head of such distracting thoughts, he concentrated more fully on his opponent. Circling the white creature, he identified the areas of its body he would need to be most careful of. It was an aggressive predator, bold and sure in its movements. It likely didn't have anything to contend with in this environment, at least not with natural strength. He would rectify that soon enough.
As he continued to consider it, he quickly came to the conclusion that it was not from around here. Its white shaggy coat made it stand out far too easily in the forest environment, not a good thing for a hunting predator and a percentage of its body weight was a mixture of fat and blubber, something more typically found in animals located in climates far colder than here.
He watched in rapt interest as the beast stopped in its prowl as if it sensed him.
It raised its head, lifting its long snout. Scenting the air gruffly, it released a deep huff.
Tomak froze and observed it carefully as it turned, sniffing the air and huffing again. It could smell him.
He clicked quietly then, watching the small round ears on its large head twitch turning in his direction. It appeared that although they appeared comically small on this large animal, they were not without use.
Deciding he had seen enough, Tomak stepped out into the open and dropped his cloak, deciding to take Ki'shon's approach. As he stood tall, confidently advancing toward the large mammal, he admired the depth of its growl as it finally took note of him and the decreasing space between them.
Turning its large body, it faced him fully and snapped its jaw open and closed, pounding its large paws into the forest floor in an attempt to intimidate.
Unphased by it, Tomak did not slow his pace, his eyes locked on with deadly intent. Much to his own amusement it bluffed a charge catching him off guard, making him pause momentarily in his advance.
This was a worthy beast and he was glad of his choice of prey. Lowering himself into a stance, he squared his shoulders in warning before he threw his arms out and roared, the fearsome sound coming from deep within his throat.
Much to his surprise the animal growled a warning, moving to stand on its hind legs forcing him to look up as it stood nearly ten feet. The beast then released three fierce roars in short breathy bursts that sent eager chills down his spine. He chittered, showing no surrender when the beast finally gave into its instinct.
Dropping back down on all fours it charged with every intention to kill him.
Tomak's eyes flashed bright in challenge before casting his weapon aside. Just as he released it, it was right on top of him.
Bracing himself, he flared his mandibles and roared in surprise as it crashed into him with a strength that forced him onto his back. Snarling, he tousled with it, ignoring the way its claws buried into his side as he shot out one hand directly under its skull and the other under one of its long arms. He dug his claws deep into its flesh.
Immediately he heard it make a sound of distress, its long claws burrowing deeper into his flank. Bellowing beneath it, Tomak lifted it up with the help of his legs, and threw it off of him, adrenaline now coursing through his system. Unhindered, he was back up onto his feet, his focus solely on the white beast that was quickly retreating further into the forest. With a quick bark, he took off after it, moving silently as he watched it run.
Although it was fast moving for such a bulky predator, it was still no match for him.
Breaking into a sprint, Tomak quickly caught up to it. And with a fierce snarl he vaulted onto its back attempting to slow it down.
With his added weight, the beast appeared to move unsteadily, much to its dislike. It roared angrily then, coming to a halt that nearly threw him. Standing on its hind legs, it then tried to jar him off.
Growling, Tomak released his hold on its fur. Sliding off its back, he rolled into a crouch one hand splayed between his spread feet. He stared up at it half wondering if it would try and run again. To his pleasure it didn't.
Rising to his full height, he saw it turn, making a swipe at him with its large paw, an attempt at preserving itself as it growled in displeasure. But again he was faster, stepping out of its reach.
This peaked its aggression, and dropping back on all fours, it charged him.
Readying himself, at the very last possible second, he hurled himself out of the white beast's path and slammed his fist into the side of its neck with a sickening crunch.
The force of the blow was fatal, killing it instantly. The body collapsed on its side with a heavy thud.
Still breathing heavily from the brawl, Tomak approached the body, watchful of any movement before deeming it dead. Kneeling beside it, he ran his hand down what would be his trophy, enjoying the feel of its fur. Satisfied, he began preparing it and the meat, a proud trill leaving his mouth.
The task centered him as he began preparing what would be his food for the next few days. This meant that Rae would not be forced to leave to obtain more for him. The thought made him release a shuddering exhale.
This mating season was proving to be a lot more difficult for him than he had hoped. He wasn't sure what would make his desires worse, staying away from her or being in her presence.
Seeing her with that human male had unlocked something within him. Jealousy. Envy, even. It was a dishonorable quality, not becoming of a warrior of his stature. It shouldn't have bothered him. She was the female. She had every right to choose what she was looking for in a mate. He just couldn't believe what she had said.
I was trying to make myself like him because, really, I was having feelings for you.
It made his heart stir, irregulating his breathing. It was unnatural. Weakness.
I kept telling myself that you wouldn't want me because you deserve better. ...And you do deserve better, Tomak. Way better than me.
He growled. He wanted to go back and show her just how wrong she was. How much he craved her, how worthy she was to him. If anything, he was the one unworthy of her. She was like an untouched star, shining brighter than everything else around her, clueless of her power over him.
Tomak, I love you.
Inhaling sharply, he fought for control over his inner peace. He needed control. She deserved at least that much from him. He had to be cautious. He didn't want to hurt her in his blinding desire.
But she was such a temptation. An irritatingly gorgeous temptation. Paya, what was wrong with him?
Pausing in his work, he looked down his side, catching sight of the rivulets of blood weeping from his newly acquired wound. Dismissing it, he decided to let it heal on its own. It wasn't enough to kill him and the pain it did cause distracted his mind from a new disturbing thought.
If he did decide to take her as a mate, it could very well affect his status in the clans. And despite how hard he worked and fought for his rank, he didn't care. This new acceptance bothered him.
But then what did it matter? He would never return home. His fate was so obviously sealed here and there was nothing he could do to change that. In the end, it was his choice.
In regards to Rae, he didn't care what she was or what she could do. It didn't matter to him that she did not have the desire to hunt running through her soul or that she wasn't from a strong bloodline or that she carried the mark of his enemies. She looked at him with something that surpassed beyond his understanding. And he valued that. He valued her.
Ultimately, there was no one and nothing on this planet that could stop him from making her his.
Rae was relieved when she caught sight of Tomak outside in the distance. She had been so worried.
When the hours began to tick by and the sun was close to turning in, she grew anxious. Did she make him so uncomfortable that he felt he couldn't be near her? She felt like such an idiot. This was his only sanctuary on the entire planet and she was making it unbearable for him to want to stay.
"I'm a jerk aren't I? A stupid jerk." She had sat stiffly on the couch after eating late lunch/early dinner alone, her only company being Chase who had taken to curling up in her lap. He merely purred as she stroked his head. Chase really was too biased to have an opinion in all honesty anyway.
But now seeing Tomak, she decided not all was lost between them. Squinting as she stared at his approaching figure, a frown slowly began to form on her face as she took note of him carrying something very large back. And as he got closer, the clearer the object of interest became.
"Oh my god." Rae stared openly at the carcass being carried over Tomak's back. The image of it made her want to vomit.
Chase sprung up onto the back of the couch to stare with her.
What is that? she couldn't help but wonder, trying as she might to figure out what the meat could have possibly belonged to. Based on the quantity of it alone, compared to Tomak's bulk, it appeared much too large to be a deer or a black bear. Maybe a moose? But then, where were the antlers? There was no hair or fur to be seen on it.
Did she even want to know?
There was no need to answer that with words. She was already out of the door, wondering just where Tomak thought he was going to store that thing. Peering over the banister of the deck she looked down, seeing that Tomak was hanging what was left of the poor thing underneath the deck. Her nose wrinkled at the sight of all the blood. It was everywhere.
Moving to get a better look at what animal it could possibly be, she scanned Tomak for any injuries, noting the fluorescent green blood on his left oblique. It appeared to be drying, his injuries not looking as fierce as they had probably been a couple hours earlier.
"I see you've been busy," she finally addressed him, unable to turn her eyes away from the bulge of his biceps as he hoisted the large carcass higher up.
"Yes," he stated simply, tying off the line.
Rae's eyes were then drawn to his hands which she had noticed much to her disturbance were also thoroughly covered in red blood. It even made it as far up as his forearms.
She forced the disturbing thoughts away. "What did you kill?" She watched in anticipation as he turned and picked up the head of the beast that had yet to be skinned, raising it for her to see.
And boy did her eyes go big.
"Is that a polar bear?! How did…" she slowly trailed off, her mind unable to even compute as she looked at Tomak directly. "Please tell me you went to the arctic and back." Though she already knew. Unless he had suddenly developed the ability to teleport, he went and stole this poor bear from the zoo.
Handling it with reverential care, he placed the trophy back down next to his bloodied armor. "It fought well."
She nodded stiffly in reply. She could see the headlines already, 'Mysterious Disappearance of Our Beloved Polar Bear Nanuk.' That sure would get people's attention.
Turning back to the yautja she gave him an unbelieving look. There was nothing that could be done about it now. She supposed she could at least be thankful that he appeared to be using the whole thing, not just decapitating it and leaving the rest to rot. So to ease away from the conflict she could feel brewing, she changed the subject.
"I saw the blood," her eyes trailed down his left side. "You okay?" she spoke carefully, afraid to offend him if he took it wrong.
"Fine," he replied gruffly, his back still turned to her.
It hurt to see him like that, like he was the one avoiding her now. Though she supposed she deserved it after this past week, reminding her of her stupid mistake. It made her feel all the more guilty.
"I don't mean to offend you," she tried to backtrack, watching for any of his usual signs of annoyance. The thing was, she wasn't seeing any.
He grabbed for the hose, turning on the water to douse his armor off, while she stood there trying to come up with the courage to speak.
"Tomak?" She felt her heart speed up as the hose stopped.
He turned his head slightly in her direction.
"About earlier, I'm sorry if I made you uncomfor–"
"You did not," he cut her off, turning to look at her for the first time since he got back.
Meeting his gold eyes again, all the words she had planned to say dissipated like a popped soap bubble and she was left standing there feeling more awkward than on her first day in school.
"Oh… w-well that's good," she heard herself say. At that point that was pretty much all she could say. Her feet were already on the move as she tried to get herself out of the awkward position she had put herself in. Looking back towards the polar bear meat, she tried to hide her disgust.
"Are you uncomfortable?" he turned the question on her, his voice revealing his amusement.
She blinked, "Um, well I-"
"You appear tense," he continued, taking a step toward her, a devilish look gleaming in his eyes. He was up to something.
"Well of course I am," she finally found her voice. Annoyed by his teasing, she kept going. "I'm looking at a bloody carcass hanging from my deck, which you're cleaning up by the way," she quickly added, daring to point at him, but he continued to smile at her which was throwing her off.
"How else should I react?" she then demanded, staring at him incredulously.
His dark chuckle was her only warning.
Before she even knew what he was scheming, Tomak had quickly closed the distance and reached for her, deliberately brushing his fingers against her soft cheek.
With a horrified gasp, she pulled away as if his touch had singed her. Reaching up slowly then, she tentatively touched her cheek, checking her fingers with unhindered dread. Just as she had feared there was fresh blood coating the tips of her fingers, and she was fuming.
"The hell, Tomak!" She took back everything she had said before, he was the jerk.
He chuckled watching as she turned on a dime wanting nothing more than to wash the repulsive substance off her face. She couldn't believe the nerve he had! What had gotten into him? She had just touched the handrails to the deck's stairs when she heard him calling after her, still laughing of course.
"Gorgeous-"
"Nuh-uh," she spun on him, cutting him off with a dangerous smile. "You lost the privilege of calling me that after smearing blood on my face."
His eyes flashed in that playful way, taunting her. "And what could you have done to stop me, gorgeous?" It was like he was daring her with his eyes, goading her to come and try something.
That did it.
Something different and wild came to her and she had to bite her lip to prevent herself from smiling. You just sealed your fate, Tomak. In answer to his question, she said nothing, simply going back up the stairs of her deck, with one goal in mind. On the way up, she couldn't help but pass a glance at him.
He was preening, looking so pleased with himself as if he had won.
Oh just you wait, she thought savagely.
She knew exactly what she was looking for as she entered the house and conveniently they were stored right in the cabinets under the kitchen sink. Grabbing the bag, she placed them on the counter next to the sink before cupping her hands under the running faucet and vigorously scrubbing at her cheek, wiping the blood away.
When she was sure it was gone, she turned to the unopened plastic bag and easily broke the seal, spilling out a few different colored water balloons onto the counter.
Naomi had demanded that she take them after the pool party a while back. And despite her attempts to refuse, knowing she would never use them, she begrudgingly took them home and threw them under her kitchen sink.
Thank god she hadn't thrown them away, knowing for certain that Tomak was not aware of such things and would least expect something like it to be used against him.
Rae smirked as she began filling some of the balloons, tying them tight. When she was done, she gathered a few in her hands, careful not to pop them as she marched right back outside.
By the time she was back in the same spot as before, Tomak was rinsing himself off, cleaning the blood completely from his hands.
She grinned wide. "Hey Tomak," she called, winding up.
He turned and as soon as he did she threw it, aiming directly for his chest.
The only problem was her aim had been higher than intended. So instead of hitting him in the chest like she had hoped, she watched with bated breath as the balloon smacked him right dead in the face. And when it popped, his reaction was pure gold.
Tomak stiffened instantly, his eyes closed shut.
She watched shakily as he took an unusually large breath before his eyes snapped open again, staring directly at her.
Much to her delight, a single strand of what was left of the pink water balloon hung limply from his lower tusk, which he promptly reached up to pick out, flicking it off to the side all while holding her gaze with a wicked promise.
Stupidly, she stood there gawking like an idiot, still shaken that she hit him in the face. What were the chances?
It was then when she finally broke off from holding his eye contact that she noticed a very crucial detail about Tomak that was impossible to miss. Overall, he was looking a lot more swole than he had a few seconds ago and instantly she voiced her realization knowing exactly what that meant. "Oh crap."
She was in trouble.
He took a step towards her with obvious intent, his demeanor was deceptively calm, but she knew the truth. She could see it in his eyes.
Not taking a chance, she threw a second water balloon that she had been hiding behind her back, this time hitting right between his pectorals.
As it splattered against him he growled challengingly, his hands balling up into fists at his sides.
"Don't even think about it," she was failing to hold back from giggling, her playful warning falling on deaf ears.
He rolled his massive shoulders, cracking his neck. That was definitely not a good sign.
"Submit, gorgeous," he cautioned.
His deep husky voice made her heart thump, but she held her ground. Aside from her jittery nerves, she lifted her chin defiantly. "No."
He cocked his head in such a way and at such an angle that had a chill running down her spine. "No?" he stared at her, a wicked gleam in his eyes.
Oh god, maybe that was the wrong answer, she swallowed nervously, shuffling on her feet. He seemed a little too happy that she was resisting, and carefully she readjusted her hold on the last water balloon in her possession. She kicked herself. She knew she should have prepared more!
"I-I won't submit," she tried to be firm, but she was losing her confidence. Every cell in her body was telling her to turn tail and run.
"I doubt that very much," he purred, taking another dangerous step closer.
It was a step too close for her and she instinctively threw the last remaining balloon and ran.
She heard her harmless projectile burst and his quick bark, a sound she had quickly recognized as his 'excited, give chase' vocalization. It made her double her efforts as she ran like her life depended on it.
For a good solid second she had no idea where she was running. Where could she go that he couldn't reach her? Although she had seen him go in the water, she wasn't sure how good of a swimmer he was and that may just be her only chance.
Willing herself to go faster she thought she heard his footsteps close behind and her nervous reaction was to laugh. She was barely outside the reach of the foamy surf when a solid arm snaked around her waist, hauling her back against his solid body.
Rae squealed in surprise, laughing as she fought against him, knowing she was more exposed like this. In her haste, she whipped around, freeing one of her arms as he brought them both down in the sand.
No-no-no-no-no-no-no, began to panic, trying fervently to get her legs out from under him, but he was unstoppable, pinning her solidly beneath his mass.
"You will submit to me," he warned, but her continual barrage of laughter only put a different idea in his mind as he held her down.
Rae suddenly went rigid when he started attacking her sides with his tickling fingers.
As a kid she had always held her breath, figuring that if her father didn't hear her laugh he would stop. Sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn't. Tomak, however, was completely different. Not only was he persistent, but he had the patience to get exactly what he wanted.
Writhing beneath him, she struggled to hold in her reaction, gritting her teeth as she tried to free herself. But it was as if he knew she was on the verge of laughter and he was determined to tip her past that point.
Depleted of air, she finally broke, and as soon as she did she was done for.
She gasped for breath, managing to squeal his name before plunging into the depths of uncontrolled laughter. "Please," she begged, her legs kicking helplessly as he tortured her. In pure desperation she bucked and shoved at his firm chest with everything she had. Much to her surprise, he withdrew, rolling onto his side to release her.
Ignoring her sore abdominal muscles, Rae scrambled to her feet making a break for the stairs only to feel Tomak right behind her again.
She knew it. She just knew there was no way she had dislodged him, he had purposefully let her go to prolong the chase. He was such a jerk.
Fear of getting caught again, she pushed herself beyond her limits as she hurtled towards the nearing stairs, but something told her it wouldn't be enough.
Changing plans, she darted past the stairs, fighting to get to one thing. Shrieking, she dodged around the hanging carcass and desperately grabbed for the hose, holding it up and away from her.
She had never used the jet option since it was always too powerful a spray to be useful for plants and it stung to wash herself off, but she didn't even question it with Tomak hot on her tail. Twisting the dial on the head she pulled the trigger and held it toward Tomak, aiming the cold spray at him while she ran for the stairs.
He snarled when it first hit, taking him by surprise, but his momentary pause didn't last. With a roar, Tomak charged through the powerful spray, chasing after her.
Abandoning the hose, she ran up the last of the steps, clambering for the door, when she felt a heavy thud behind her.
Her scream was high pitched and loud when he finally caught her, her heart racing like never before.
Arms of steel encircled her, picking her off the ground. Automatically, she clung to him as he carried her inside, but when he continued through the living room, she stiffened, "Tomak what are you–"
"I warned you before, gorgeous. But did you listen?" he chuckled darkly, carrying her further into the house.
The fingers that were clamped around her waist thrummed knowingly along her ribs forcing a cry from her lips. That little warning jump started her defenses.
Squirming vigorously within his arms, one hand planted firmly on his shoulder and the other wrapped around his wrist, she tried to pry herself out of his hold, but it only earned herself more tickling.
"Stop!" she laughed, pressing her face against his shoulder. She felt the vibrations of his laugh, when he suddenly stopped. It made her still, wondering what he was about to do, when she screamed. Her body bounced as she hit the mattress, having been unexpectedly and unceremoniously tossed on the bed.
Recovering quickly, she went to roll off the side in a hasty escape, but Tomak merely grabbed her by the leg and dragged her back toward him where both his arms dropped on either side of her, caging her under him.
"No! Tomak!" She tried to block his hands, but he easily broke through her defenses and reached for her sides. Her legs kicked off the bed in her poor attempt to get away, tears coming to her eyes as she shrieked in laughter. Her lungs were burning from the last round, and she didn't think she could take another.
"Tomak! Have mercy!" she begged, laughing into his chest. She was desperate for a reprieve, and for a brief second she thought she would get it until she realized what he intended, reaching for her arms.
"I am yautja," he growled above her. With one hand he held both her arms above her head, leaving her completely exposed. "And we show none."
"Liar!" she cried, and that ramped up his tickling.
"You dare question my honor?!" he feigned anger..
"No please!" she pleaded, fighting to free her hands. "I'm sorry!" At this point it was hopeless, she just prayed he would eventually grow bored. "Tomak!" she squealed.
After several long moments that felt like eternity, he seemed to sense her defeat and placed his clawed hand on the bed beside her. With a relieved sigh, she didn't care that he was still holding her arms up with the other hand, her chest was heaving and she was just thankful for oxygen.
Still hunched over her, Tomak adjusted himself, taking both her arms in his hands and spreading them to lay on either side of her head.
Rae looked at him then, swallowing nervously as her brain finally registered that he was bare of everything but the skirted armor around his waist. She was so desperate to breathe she hadn't even considered his proximity or the fact that he was now lowering his face to hers.
His spines fell over his shoulders forming a sort of curtain around them, blocking out the rest of the world. Looking deeply in his eyes she saw something glittering within them, a dark mischief that made her tense. She was already extremely untrusting after the extreme tickle session and far too out of breath to prepare herself for whatever else he had planned.
"Tomak," her warning came out weak and breathless.
His mandibles flared as he chuffed humorously, but he didn't make any move to do anything, letting her catch her breath, which she was thankful for. It worried her however that he wasn't backing off, something he would have done by now. Maybe he was waiting for her to admit defeat. She wanted to roll her eyes.
"Alright," she laid her head back, conceding, "you win."
She waited, expecting a cocky response in return, but he didn't move.
She lifted her head, looking up at him with a slightly confused frown. "Tomak?"
His pupils, she noticed, were large, not the usual predatory pinpricks, but huge circles that almost filled his eyes, leaving just a bright rim of gold on the outside. It kind of reminded her of Chase's eyes when he was hyper focused on his toy mouse. It was the face he would make before he went in to "kill it" and that made her unsure.
"Tomak," she spoke gently, "are you oka–?"
The word died in her mouth as he lowered his face even closer, his forehead bumping gently against hers, the tusks of his mandibles lightly scraping her cheeks in a caress as he held her gaze. The gesture was so intimate she felt her stomach doing somersaults.
He shifted then, rubbing the side of his face down the side of hers, purring contentedly as he went.
Rae was overwhelmed by this intimate side of him, unsure what to do as she was forced to lay beneath him, subconsciously aware that he was taking extreme care not to lay more of his weight than was necessary to keep her still.
When he paused, Rae tensed, feeling his warm breath waft over the sensitive region of her neck. Please not again, she thought. Her lips trembled as she fought not to smile at the ticklish feeling he was beginning to produce.
Rumbling deeply, Tomak put a carefully placed nip to her jugular, which resulted in a gasp, her body jolting against him in surprise. He chortled at her reaction and did it again, only a little higher.
"Tomak," she whined, pulling at her captured arms, "don't make me beg. Let me up please."
"I cannot."
"What, you can't make me beg or can't let me up?" she smirked.
When he didn't respond, her smile slowly vanished, concern flashing in her eyes. "Tomak?"
His pupils constricted for a second before dilating again. Releasing one of her arms he drew his hand down the side of her face, releasing a shuddering sigh that shook the bed. "I want you," he purred.
Her mouth parted. Too stunned to speak, her eyes blinked slowly, absorbing his words as he ran his thumb in a caressing motion across her left cheek, his clawed thumb passing just under her eye.
She couldn't look away, not even out of shyness. Emotions hot and raw flitted through her chest, filling her head with one question. Rae took in a small breath, "What… what do you mean by that?"
The hand at her face carefully moved down her neck, her shoulder, and slid down her arm. She lost track of it until his hand was at the rim of her shorts. She hadn't been aware that her shirt came up with her earlier struggles, baring some of her stomach until she felt the warm calloused flesh of Tomak's fingers as they moved to hold her just above the hip.
Flesh on flesh her heart pounded harder as his hand moved upward bringing her shirt up with his travels. When the pads of his fingers moved over her oblique, her abdominals clenched.
Meeting her eyes, he brushed his hand across her abdomen next, pausing his explorations as her breathing hitched. It was like he was watching for her reaction.
Her hand fisted the comforter under her as his fingers barely touched the rim of her bra. "T-Tomak?" she managed to stutter. She needed to hear his voice, she needed to know what the hell he was doing.
Letting go of her other arm, he allowed her to lower it as he adjusted and balanced his weight above her. "I think you know, gorgeous," he answering her earlier question. His gaze was absolutely molten as he began to lower his body, his hand dipping under the band of her shorts.
Quickly she lifted her hands, both connecting with his chest. She could feel his heart, its beat strong and fast. This was a poor attempt to stop him, nonetheless, she felt him tense at her touch, stopping his descent. The silence that followed was unbearable.
Rae released a shaky sigh, lowering her gaze from his questioning eyes down the length of his muscular body. She was so small compared to him. And he had an inhuman strength that at this very moment frightened her.
Tilting his head, Tomak carefully read her fearful body language. He could feel her trembling, and instantly his eyes returned to normal, purring soothingly in response. Deepening the sound from within his chest, he watched as he gained her attention once more, trailing his fingers down the side of her face adoringly.
Taking note of her long brown hair, he captured one of the ringlets in between his thumb and first finger and rubbed to feel the soft strands. He tugged it gently, intrigued by how it straightened before recoiling upon release.
Being as gentle as he was, Rae eventually calmed down, relaxing as he cupped her face a second time, something she wasn't sure she could ever get used to. Fluttering her eyes closed, she soaked in the heat radiating from his palm.
Jake had always been forward and at times he could be tender, but it was a rarity and it was always quick. But Tomak, he took his time. And yeah he was forward, it was in his nature. She doubted there was someone more dominant than him, but he didn't let that take away from his focus which had always, even up to this point, remained solely on her. His deep rumbling voice had her opening her eyes again.
His stare was penetrating, fierce. "I would never force myself on you," he watched her eyes widen a fraction. "Never," there was an intensity in his tone.
His hurt expression was like a sword that went straight through her heart. And without hesitation she placed her hand over the back of his. "I know you wouldn't, I just…" she hesitated.
Tomak waited for her to keep going, but when she didn't, he withdrew. Standing at the edge of the bed, his gaze softened. "You are not ready," he concluded.
Rae lowered her eyes regretfully, her chin wobbling as she looked away from him. She didn't want to cry in front of him, not right now.
Nodding silently, he went to turn, "Rest here, I will go–"
"No!" In a flash she was sitting up, her arm outstretched as she had caught his wrist.
Tomak went rigid, staring at her in surprise. At first she didn't know what to say. Her anxiety and fear was at an all-time high right now. She had refused him sex and the last time this happened she was left alone and abandoned. She couldn't bear that happening a second time.
"Please don't leave me," she pleaded shakily, unable to fully meet his questioning gaze. She didn't even have the words to explain herself, knowing how childish it sounded to her own ears. She couldn't have someone walk out on her. Jake's face came unbidden to mind and she flinched at the hurtful memory.
The way he had grabbed her, the yelling. She didn't know what she did to deserve that.
Her father had made her promise to remain chaste until marriage, something she hadn't understood at the time, but she had made sure that Jake knew it from the start of their relationship. Yet for months he pressured her to break that promise, break that oath.
And that last night they were together, he had actually attempted to use physical force to get what he selfishly wanted. Tears stung her eyes knowing that it would have been rape if she hadn't used her strength to keep him back.
It was after this that she realized why her father wanted her to wait. He was trying to protect her from people like Jake. People that wanted her just for the sex.
At the start of their relationship she had hoped that Jake would love her not for what she was or what she could do, but for who she was on the inside. But deep down, she started to see signs that that wasn't the case.
She wanted someone that would love her unconditionally. And after Jake, she understood that this was what her father had wanted for her as well.
Crouching down, Tomak lowered himself so they were at eye level with each other. He then proceeded to speak softly to her, as if he was worried the depth of his voice would frighten her. "I must attend to my armor," he reasoned
She bit her lip, seeing the way his eyes glowed.
"I know." She looked down shamefully, " I'm sorry I just really don't want to be alone right now. I'm… I'm having flashbacks." She lifted her head hearing him chitter. He was thinking.
Suddenly he stood, taking his hand back before leaving the room without a word.
Rae sat as straight and as stiff as a pole, staring in the direction Tomak had left, shocked that he would just leave. Fat ugly tears slowly dribbled from her puffy eyes as one of her worst fears became reality. She was pushing him away.
Could she be more pathetic? This just further proved how stupid it was to think that she could possibly be with someone like Tomak. She flinched when she heard a sound at the bedroom door, and looked up in time to see Tomak striding in with one of the kitchen chairs.
Walking through the bedroom, he went around her to the other side of the bed. Placing the chair down carefully, he flicked his attention back to her.
Embarrassed, Rae hurriedly wiped at her face, trying to erase the evidence that she had been crying, but Tomak's large hands wrapped around her slender wrists, easily pulling both hands away from her tear-stained face.
He cooed softly, putting both her hands on the bed before taking her chin between his fingers. His pupils dilated as his thumb ran over the soft tissue of her lips. He tilted his head as he looked her over, "To think I wanted your skull as a trophy."
She tensed under his grasp, holding his gaze boldly.
He shook his head with a purr. "Gorgeous."
Instantly she dropped her eyes, making a sound of disagreement. She knew exactly how she looked when she had been crying, she knew it wasn't pretty, and definitely not gorgeous.
Having heard her disagree, the hold on her chin tightened, making her look at him. When she saw his narrowed stare, her mouth went dry. "I have never lied to you," he growled and she blinked at the intensity of it.
She was surprised by his anger. She didn't question his honesty, but that didn't stop her from being in disbelief. Pursing her lips, she couldn't stop a single tear from falling as she met his demanding gaze. "I just… I just can't seem to accept it," she broke off.
"Accept what?"
"That you actually feel that way about me," she whispered, but he heard her.
"Tell me why," he commanded tersely, his body hunched over her.
More tears fell, but she remained silent. She was too afraid to say why.
Tomak wasn't pleased as he lifted her chin, raising her eyes to his. "Gorgeous," his eyes flashed in warning before she caved.
"I wasn't enough for Jake," she blurted. Taking a deep shaky breath she forced herself to say the rest, her voice trembling. "So if I wasn't for him, then why should I think that I'm good enough for you?"
Tomak was silent, and Rae felt the urge to turn away, to look anywhere but at him, but the hold on her chin prevented her from doing so. She felt so pathetic. She closed her eyes, it was the only way she could hide from him like this. But Tomak wouldn't even let her do that, his thumb brushing over her lips again. Hesitantly, she opened her eyes to him.
"You may think of yourself as unworthy," he rumbled, recalling her words from earlier, "but you are mine."
There was a hint of possessiveness with his words and it anchored her. Of all the things she expected him to say, this was not it.
"And although you are not yet ready for the mating act," he continued, his eyes lowering down her body, making her shiver under the heat of his gaze, "do not think that I will be slow to claim what is mine when you are."
She almost jumped, feeling his other hand enclose around her thigh, making his point very clear to her.
"I want you, Rae. And I will wait as long as it takes to have you."
Blinking up at him in stunned silence, she couldn't take it anymore. Pushing her fear of rejection and abandonment aside, she pressed herself against his front, wrapping her arms around his neck, and burying her face into his dreads. The relief she felt when he returned her embrace was unimaginable.
The curve of his taut bicep pressed into her side as he crossed his arm over her back and the feel of his claws moving soothingly against her shoulder blade, it was everything she needed and she didn't want it to end.
"Now rest," he pulled her away, directing her to lie down with touch alone. "I will not leave this room until you are asleep," he draped the comforter over her before stepping back, seating himself in the wooden chair that was too small for him.
Lying on her side, she bit her lip shyly. She wasn't sure if she would find sleep that easily with him watching her so keenly. As if he heard her very thoughts, he began to purr, the sound coming out louder than what she had previously heard from him. And quickly, she found it to be lulling.
Her rollercoaster of emotions had already drained her energy and with the help of Tomak's baritone purr, going to sleep wasn't as hard as she thought.
Author's Note
For some reason the chapters keep getting longer and longer. You can be the judge on whether that is a good or bad thing haha. As always, I look forward to hearing your thoughts on this one. Thanks for reading and taking the time to leave a comment!