Chapter Ten

Kaoru didn't really remember much before her escape. Frankly, Kaoru didn't remember much about her escape, either, or if it could even be called one. Most of her memories were either shy and evasive or obscured by a thick fog she could not penetrate by force. Sometimes, they would clear without warning, but only to reveal bits and pieces of a whole. Without any solid reference or foundation, the smaller images were confusing and, more often than not, frustrating.

What she did know, was that she was not meant to escape. Or at least she knew that her fall from the third-floor window had been the will of someone other than Sojiro. The man responsible for her fall had been wrapped in bandages from head to toe, and in that unclear moment in her mind, she thought he was yelling at her. Following that, her memories were mere sensations: his hand shoving her; her back breaking the window; pain in her left thigh; and the air stolen from her lungs.

Somehow, she had forced herself to rise. To walk. Weakness had weighed down her malnourished limbs, but some stubborn, buried will to survive had awoken in her. The further she had removed herself from her place of confinement, the clearer her mind had become. Her first unhampered memory was of tripping into mud, and everything after that was crystal clear. From digging through garbage for food, to hiding from others with unkind eyes.

She tried to remember things from prior to her escape, because Kenshin and Tomoe wanted to know, but most of her knowledge from before then was primarily instinct. Sojiro was synonymous with fear. Where she had been kept was bad. Disobeying meant pain, but it was not pain that she was afraid of. For a reason she did not completely understand, Kaoru feared hate and anger more than she feared pain. Those two heightened emotions somehow felt like a betrayal. Which led her to disobey.

Kaoru did not even know what kind of demon she was, and Tomoe's careful questioning about her powers had drawn a blank. She felt no powers within her, but then again, she didn't really know what she was supposed to be searching for. What did demon powers feel like? Would she recognize them if she did find them? She could not remember using any powers, either. Only a strong feeling of shame. A shame for a betrayal.

There was one other strong emotion that she had held onto from before her escape. An emotion that came from somewhere much deeper. It, and it alone, had driven her on when starvation had nearly claimed her. The emotion visited her in her dreams, even when those dreams seemed as if they were frightening. But Kaoru was never afraid, even when she knew she should be. Instead, Kaoru was overcome by a desire. A very simple desire.

Look at me.

It was all she wanted. All she could think about. No fear, or anger, or hatred. Look at me. Notice I'm here. Why she wanted that was unknown to her. How could she know when she was not even sure what was happening? Nothing was really clear, even, or especially, in her dreams. All she could see, all she could recognize, was the flaming golden eyes right in front of her. But they weren't looking at her. They refused to look at her. They looked over her, or through her, when all she wanted was for them to look at her. More than anything in the world, she wanted them to see her.

A fire demon. That was what Kenshin had said the being in her dream was. A fire demon, like him. At that moment, clarity had struck, and she had remembered. Yes, that was what the being was. Somehow, she had already known it was a fire demon. A beautiful, vibrant fire demon. With eyes as golden as the sun, and a body as red as scorched embers. And she wanted that fire demon to look at her.

She wanted Kenshin to look at her.

Look at me. Please, look at me.

Happiness, in a way she was uncertain she had ever felt before, warmed her chest every time his eyes connected with hers. She loved when he looked at her. She loved that he truly took notice of her presence. It made her giddy. It made her fearless. It made her want to sing.

But she couldn't sing anymore. An offended frown tucked her brows together, and her fingers closed around the flat piece of metal under her chin. For one overwhelming moment, she wanted to rip it out. Thankfully, that moment past quickly, and she recoiled from the reckless action. After all, the intuition that something horrible would happen if the pin was to ever be removed was also within her. This pin was meant to punish her, and punished she was. However, there was another purpose it served. A darker purpose she could not recall.

It was much later before Kenshin returned from the conversation she had been excluded from, but she smiled at him happily when he seated himself next to her. Violet irises were searching her own, and her mind and heart swelled with warmth. He was so considerate and gentle, but there was a lot of pain buried deep inside of him that she could sense. Pain did not frighten her, only anger and hatred caused by pain. Such emotions took away too much happiness, and she wanted Kenshin to be happy. At the same time that she wanted to monopolize all of his attention, she wanted to give him all of hers. She would do anything for him, because he had looked at her and offered his hand.

"Miss Kaoru… Megumi-san wanted to talk about what happened… a couple days ago."

Okay. Are you in trouble?

Kenshin lightly pinched the hand she had rested on top of his between his thumb and forefinger. "Don't worry. No one was hurt, but there was some concern about how… easily I was influenced by that man."

A tight breath released from her ribs, and she nodded.

"If I'm going to ever face him again, I need to be able to control myself better, so I can protect you… and anyone else." His eyes averted for a moment, and she bit her lip against the flutter of her insides.

I don't need protection. All I want is for you to stay with me, and to keep looking at me the way you do.

"Megumi-san knows someone who might be able to help. I was never really taught much about my powers. My father did the best he could, but he… died when I was only a teenager. Fumbling about as I have until now doesn't count for much. If I could learn more about how to handle myself, I should have a better chance of facing someone like Sojiro without getting caught by his tricks."

Nodding eagerly, Kaoru agreed that such a thing was a good idea. Having better control would no doubt remove some of his stress and calm his mind. Not to mention, she never wanted Sojiro to do what he had to Kenshin ever again. I don't want him to harm you again, or force you to feel such pain.

Kenshin's smile softened, and he reached forward to brush back a stray clump of her bangs. "I'm glad you understand." Slowly his hand slipped from her face, his chin lowered, and he sat back in his seat. "In order to do this… I have to go to Neo-Kyoto."

Okay. Let's go. Immediately, she started gathering all of her colored-pencils and placing them carefully back in order within their box. Kenshin blinked as he watched, but did not seem to understand what she meant until she had placed the spiraled notebook in her lap with the pencil case resting meaningfully on top.

"W-wait." His hand caught hold of the arm of her wheelchair, and held her in place. "Kaoru… you need to stay here. You're still not well. You need time to rest and heal. Megumi-san has promised to help remove the pin in your mouth, as well, but she needs more time to study the seal."

No. Shaking her head desperately, Kaoru frowned. I'm going with you.

"Kaoru…"

No! Wrenching the wheelchair out of his grip, she watched his body jerk and the surprise that lifted his eyebrows. I don't care! I'm not staying here! Fear welled up inside her. Fear of him leaving her. Fear of being alone once more. This time, though, she understood that it would not be the same type of loneliness. This time she would have specific moments to miss, whereas before she had only wanted what she did not have.

What if he doesn't come back? What if he forgets about me? Panic was near to taking over, and her entire body shuddered. Just like that fire demon in her dreams, he was no longer looking at her, but over her.

Please. I only want you to keep looking at me. I don't care about anything else.

"Miss Kaoru." Both of his hands curled around her fisted fingers, and she continued to tremble with repressed anxiety. Briefly, his eyes lowered as he noticed, and when his gaze lifted, his expression was twisted with something close to anguish. "Don't be afraid. You'll be safer here than with me. Even if you did come, I won't be able to give you the attention or protection that you deserve."

Her face scrunched in misery, and his head bowed forward.

"Please, Miss Kaoru. I'm not abandoning you. I need to do this, but it will amount to nothing if I cannot be certain of your safety here." His voice dropped to a whisper. "Please don't be upset with me."

The pleading tone of his voice played on her emotions, and she turned her face away as she fought her breathing. She knew she was acting selfishly, and a part of her was ashamed of it. He was being open and honest with her, and she had no right to demand that he prioritize her over himself. But she was so scared, of so many things. He had made her feel safe, for the first time in… she couldn't even remember how long. None of the impressions that she got from the fog in her mind included safety. If he left, she would once more have to deal with that fear and insecurity on her own.

The fact that he wasn't giving in proved this was something he either could or would not budge on. Trying as hard as she could to still her shuddering lungs and quivering muscles, Kaoru closed her eyes and forced a smile. Slipping her hands out from under his, she picked up her notebook and pencils and deposited them both back onto the desk. Light pressure on the wheels turned her around, and she kept her eyes averted as she wheeled herself down the hall and into the small room they allowed her to sleep in.

X

"Kaoru." Standing, Kenshin took three quick steps after her, but hesitated. How could he tell her that this was something he was being forced to do? How could he tell her that it was something he knew he needed to do? Just hearing him speak what awkward explanation he could manage had turned her back into that frightened and pitiful creature he had found out on the street.

"Himura-san." Tomoe's gentle voice beckoned him from the opposite door, and he glanced at her but was unable to hold his gaze steady. "Let her think on it."

The young unknown demon did not reappear for the remainder of the day. Tomoe took food to her, but seemed worried about how little she ate. She refused to bathe, and instead spent much of her time lying on her cot with her back to the door. The only time she moved was when Megumi forced her to for a check-up. Thankfully, it did not appear that Sojiro had cursed Kaoru in any discernable way, and her feet were starting to heal up nicely. Kenshin had been reassured that Megumi would keep a close eye on her, though, to be certain nothing less obvious and more sinister had been done during Sojiro's unauthorized visit.

When night fell, Tomoe offered to stay, but Kaoru denied needing or wanting her presence overnight. With a melancholy sigh, Tomoe had departed the lab with her brother in tow, and Kenshin had been left alone once more with Kaoru.

Staring up at the ceiling as he lay on his back in the rec room, Kenshin tried to think of a better way to convince Kaoru that his leaving was not as bad as she imagined. After all, she would not truly be alone. Tomoe would still be there, and she seemed to trust the temperate coal demon. At least, it appeared she was comfortable enough with her, after hearing about her climbing into the same bed. While he did not particularly trust Megumi, he understood that the current situation was nothing like the one involving her in his past. What truly mattered was that she was powerful, and very protective of her lab. No one would be able to enter it without her knowing, and for now it did not appear that Sojiro was looking for exposure or an open confrontation.

It still confuses me. How have I grown so attached so quickly? I've only known her for a little over a week, but knowing I'll have to leave… makes my chest ache.

Rubbing a hand over his face, he clenched his lashes shut. He blamed it on her eyes. The mesmerizing texture of them seemed to undulate like a softly burning candle. No other blue-eyed demon he had ever come across had affected him this way. It was only her eyes that took his breath away and unsettled his awkward heart.

I'd like to see those eyes one more time before I leave, for luck… and strength.

A slight frown of concentration dipped his mouth downward, and he rolled onto his shoulder on the spare bedding. Would it comfort her… if she had something to hold onto?

While it was true that he had experienced only enough time with his father to learn the basics of his powers, there was one advanced spell he had picked when fighting in the war against the humans. It was not a spell he had ever had any use for, and the demon responsible for teaching it to him had died long ago. Kenshin was still unsure why that demon had persisted in making him learn it. Irony? Hope? Boredom? No matter the reason, the words floated to the forefront of his mind, and he immediately began indulging the idea.

It will not be as strong as it is meant to be, but I will do what I can with my current level of skill.

Sitting cross-legged on the futon, Kenshin undid the tie holding back his thick hair. What many others did not understand about his hair was that it was not simply an expendable extension of his body. It was, in fact, fully part of his true form. It could not be cut by scissors, it did not fall out when brushed, and while it did grow, it grew at a very slow rate. It had taken centuries for his hair to grow to the small of his back. His father's hair had hung to his knees, and had symbolized not only his age but his strength and high-rank amongst other fire demons.

At one time, Kenshin had fought another fire demon, which had unfortunately resulted in a few sections about his face being seared off. Taking hold of a large section behind his now chin-length bangs, he wound it tight, took a deep breath, and used his own fire to melt the ends together. Now permanently coiled into a braid, he steadied himself, closed his eyes, and separated the piece from its base. Though it was not the same as losing a limb, it certainly felt as if he had lopped off a toe, at the least.

Feeling light-headed and breathless, he pumped his fist to encourage blood flow, and focused on the pain of his fingertips digging into his palm. It was a while later before he was steadied enough to proceed. The chunk of red hair looked longer than he had imagined when held out between his hands, and was roughly the width of his pinky finger. A slight smirk tugged one side of his mouth upwards.

I guess you'll do.

Curling it firmly around his fingers, he formed the sign he had been taught with his hands, and concentrated painstakingly on the correct chant necessary to set the spell.

It was several hours later before he was done.

X

When his eyes finally opened, Kenshin felt something heavy pressing against his chest. Struggling to take in air, he blinked open leaden eyelids, and strained to lift his chin. It had not occurred to him that performing such an advanced spell would drain so much energy. Scrunching his lashes a few times to clear his vision, his eyebrows shot up then back down into a frown to find Kaoru's upper body sprawled across his torso.

Her face was angled at him, as was the inner curve of her body, but her eyes were closed and she slept peacefully. Without a blanket to cover her, she had curled her legs up close against the side of his upper arm and shoulder for warmth. Though he was glad she had put on some weight, he was feeling it in that moment as the limp mass of her form felt more like iron than flesh.

Dropping his head back into the bedding, he tilted his chin to look at the red numbers of the digital wall clock. Five in the morning. Still pretty early. I'd let her sleep, but… this is really uncomfortable.

"Kaoru." Shifting his shoulders to rock her awake, he called her name again. "Wake up."

An almost full pout curled her bottom lip out, and he blinked as her dark lashes clenched together harder in denial. Is she pretending? Unable to help himself, he chuckled. Lifting his unpinned arm, he gently ruffled her hair.

"Come on, odd duck. It's getting hard to breathe."

One sullen sigh huffed from her mouth, and she pushed herself up and off. Instead, she tucked herself into a tight ball next to him with her spine brushing his side. Staying on his back, he studied the dark lump that she was.

"Are you still mad at me?" She didn't respond, or move, and he directed his gaze back to the ceiling. "I understand, Miss Kaoru." There was a long pause with nothing but strained silence hanging between them. "I'm afraid, too. No one knows better than I do how dangerous my powers are. I thought I would be fine if I just ignored them." I lost more control than gained when I fought in the war. "Until now, I've gotten along with just the basics. There hasn't been any reason for me to need more than that. I suppose… until now I've just been trying to survive and live quietly. I've never had something… or someone… that made me want to be better or stronger."

The uncomfortable quiet stretched until the turmoil inside him felt unbearable. What else could he say to make her understand? Then Kaoru sighed. Still fragile looking hands pushed her upright, and he was given a brief view of her stubbornly pouty features. A sudden deep breath pulled into her lungs, and her pout turned into a smile. The most heartbreaking smile he had ever seen. Within the darkness, her blue eyes seemed to hover like distant guiding lights.

Three seconds later, and she lifted her right arm so swiftly he jumped. Her hand fisted, her forearm curled, and it took him a moment to realize what she was doing. After all, her oversized t-shirt did little to help show off her diminished muscle mass. Sitting up to face opposite her, he laughed deep in his chest. Seeing her react in a somewhat more normal way had infected him with joy.

"Are you saying you'll get stronger, too?"

Kaoru nodded, and her serious features were surprisingly cute.

"Shall we make a deal then?" His right hand lifted in offering. "That both of us will do what we can to get stronger during our time apart." Lowering her arm, she blinked at him, as if judging whether he was being serious. Deciding him to be sincere, she wrapped her fingers around his and rewarded him with an unexpectedly firm shake.

Her fingers loosened a moment later, per proper hand-shaking etiquette, but he kept his curled in order to tilt her wrist upward. With his other hand, he slowly coiled the length of his braided hair into her grasp.

"I want you to have this, Miss Kaoru. It has been reinforced with a protective spell, and will keep you safe from anything that wishes you harm." Astonishment opened her mouth, which gave him an unfortunate glimpse of the shiny metal ball sitting on her tongue. "You must keep it on you for it to work, but… you should try to avoid submerging it in water."

Both of her hands wrapped around the red hair, and she balled them both into her chest. It didn't take her long to realize that heat was exuding from the gift like a living thing, and she parted her hands again to look at it in surprise. One more chuckle escaped him, and he watched her press it happily to her cheek and smile.

The memory of this smile is what I will take for me.

X

A/N: Well… I introduced a character without actually introducing a character. How very tricky. It was also nice to switch things up with Kaoru's POV for a little bit. However, I really wanted to try writing a story mostly from Kenshin's POV this time. I've gotten a little too used to doing Kaoru's POV. I kind of overloaded this chapter with sweetness to hold me over while they're separated, but I also tried to make sure it seemed plausible for this early in the story. I'm loving how the little details sometimes just fall into my lap as I write, and I hope I can keep them all straight for later chapters. Sometimes I'm afraid I give away too much, but at the same time I don't want to give you nothing at all, so I will continue to attempt a good balance and hope for the best. Next chapter is finally Hiko. AH! This may be hard.

Completely unrelated, but I've found that laying on my husband the way Kaoru was laying on Kenshin is actually really comfortable. I'm sure it's not very comfortable for him, though, even if he lies to make me feel better, lol.

Oh, and I forgot to wish everyone a Happy Easter last week! Hope everyone had a blessed weekend! (I forgot my little brother's birthday, too! Ugh, what a horrible big sis thing to do.) Thanks for the reviews! You are all so wonderful!