Jeez this is my first update of 2015?! Happy Incredibly late New Year's everyone! I hope you all had a great 2014, if not I hope 2015 is amazeballs. I wrote this chapter after rereading everything I had so far a couple of times just because I liked the balance of dramatic backstory and fluffy scenes for Draco and Hermione, but I wanted to add a little depth to their relationship so here goes. I also wanted to apologize to anyone who was disturbed by the rape/ sexual assault, I forgot to trigger warn, I'm fixing that as we speak. I hope you guys like the chapter and please don't forget drop a little comment it really makes a world of a difference.
As I said the words out loud, I saw the look on Draco's face and it broke my heart, flashes of anger and horror a kaleidoscope of emotions displaying themselves across his face. My hands were shaking, palms sweaty, this was both terrifying and therapeutic, and we sat together on the couch across from each other. I wrapped my arms around my knees and just spoke, weighing each word carefully, but I could see what it was doing to him. I could see how much it hurt him. When I was doing to him. When I was done I got up and brought two cups of tea from the kitchen, placing one in front of him and sat back down on the couch cup in hand. We sat like this in silence for what felt like hours, in reality it was probably only a couple of minutes.
"Draco drink your tea, it's getting cold."
"I don't care about the sodding tea Hermione."
"Calm down, nothing's happened to you don't snap at me."
"I am not snapping at you Hermione,"
I had had enough of this whole thing, I did not need this right now, especially not from him, not after I bared to him something so intense, fuck it I'm not in the mood to handle this. So I got up from the couch.
"I'm going home Draco." He looked up at me clearing the haze from his eyes confused.
"Hermione you are home."
"No Draco, I'm not you are."
"Hermione don't start."
"No listen here Draco, you asked me to tell you about an incredibly painful moment from my past and the way you're reacting makes me wish I had never told you a thing. So before either of us says something unforgivable I'm leaving." I walked out of the building and apperated to my house, as I walked in I could hear Luna and Blaise watching Sherlock shouting at the screen. I plopped down on the couch across from both of them.
Blaise looked at me confused and worried. "What's wrong did your dinner at Potter's not go as planned? Where's Draco?"
"Ughhhh, Blaise shit has officially hit the fan."
"What Happened?"
"Dinner was great, Pansy and the girls are great gorgeous as ever. After dinner Harry wanted to talk so we went into the kitchen and he asked how serious we were and said if I was truly serious about Draco that I had to let him know about what happened with Theo."
"What the fuck!" Blaise started to get up off the couch and Luna pulled him back down and ran her hand down his bank trying to calm him down.
"Blaise sweetheart please calm down."
"No Luna, the fucking nerve of this piece of shit. Where the fuck was he when Hermione needed him? Potter and Weasley were so busy trying to shove Weasel on Hermione that they couldn't see what was going on. I hope you told him to fuck off."
Luna laughed off Blaise's comments and got up from the couch and walked into the kitchen.
"I'm going to get some strong coffee for everyone, good for you Hermione rise above. Blaise, Hermione has always been the level headed one of those fools she wouldn't sink to his level."
But of course nothing could get passed Blaise, he looked at me studying my face. "That's not all is it? This is more than just Potter." I could feel myself tearing up. "Hermione what actually happened?"
"Draco walked in."
The shattering sound of breaking cups and plates was heard from the kitchen. "Fucking hell, Hermione what did you do?"
"I told him everything."
"Oh my god Hermione."
"Don't Hermione me, he walked in on Harry and asking me if I was ever going to tell him about Theodore and what was I supposed to do Blaise? Not tell him after something like that? We sat in silence the whole way to his place, I told him everything and he looked at me like I was some broken toy, so I left."
Luna walked back into the living room coffee mugs in hand, placed a hand on my shoulder and sat down next to me.
"I'm so sorry Hermione. I can't imagine what Draco is going through right now."
"Seriously Luna?" It was Blaise who spoke up, he leaned forward placing a hand on my knee. "Hermione listen we were able to be there because you're one of my best friends and I would do anything for you, you know that, but for a time so was Theo. Can you imagine the hell I went through when everything happened? One of my brothers, I know how you roll your eyes at the house loyalty shit, but really aside from Slytherins, the Gryffindor's are just as isolating. So to have one of my own do something like that… it fucking killed me. Now Draco went through a whole different level of hell. You know my mother, that bitch never gave a damn, she was too busy looking for the next wealthy husband to give a damn about blood prejudice I was lucky in that I guess, but Draco's Family? Shit if there were ever a group of people more fucked up and more capable of fucking up a kid than that train wreck of a marriage. I know I know Narcissa had her reasons, the woman practically had a gun to her head during the whole thing, but things were done and she's done her time she's remade herself and the whole thing, but for a long time all Draco had was his house. Knott was never interested in the shit his family did, we were his family, all we had were each other, so know think about it for a minute. How would you feel if you learned that Draco had been raped by the Weasley girl? She was one of your closest friends for a long time can you imagine the kind of betrayal, the disgust you would feel?"
I let him something I hid about myself for so Blaise. I love him and yeah it may seem stupid, but I wanted to put in past and never have think ever again. You think that I don't think about what he did to me ? That I didn't blame myself for years? I tore myself inside out. It took me so long, but I can't ever go back. I can't undo what was done,what he did to me…. any more than Draco can take back what the Malfoy's and Lestrange's did to so many others. All we can do is move on. Guys I can't keep doing this, I love you, thank you for being worried, but I am just so exhausted I'm going to bed goodnight."
"Hermione what about Draco?"
"I don't know Luna….I just don't know."
I walked up the staircase holding myself together until the door was safely closed behind me, then in the private sanctuary of my room I crashed down onto my bed and cried myself to a light sleep. I held myself while I tried so desperately to gasp for air through my tears. I had grown so accustomed to Draco's warm body pressed against mine, the feeling of his chest against my breast , falling asleep to the soothing beat of his heart. Now I'm laying alone in a bed I had become so alien to. I give up on anymore sleep and reach for the remote and turn on my flat screen only to find The Princess Bride playing. "Life is pain, highness. Anyone who says otherwise is selling something." Oh Westley you know the deep recess of my heart. As I lay there in the safe inclosure of my pillows and comforter I suddenly hear shouting coming from downstair. What the shit is going on? I pull on my oversized Uni sweater of my tank and slightly open my door.
"Blaise move out of the fucking way, let me up I need to talk to her."
"Draco not now, she just settled down she needs time."
"Like hell I am not going to leave things the way she left. I need to see her get out of the way!"
"No Draco."
"No? Are you serious? You know what while we're at it, how the fucking hell could you not tell me what Knott did? All these years and you never thought once to tell me what that piece of shit did to her?"
"It wasn't my place to tell Draco that was something that Hermione was either going to tell you or not"
"I had to walk in on fucking Potter and Granger talking about what he did to her, do you have any idea what that was like? To have to drive for hours watching her clutching her arms, silent". I watched her face shudder I knew she was reliving what he did to her. She sat me down and told every gory detail and how you and Luma were there for her and all I could think was how I could be so blind to not have seen this. I went off on her and she left she left me there. I fucking opened my mouth and like always I fucked it up. I need to talk to her. "
Draco this isn't your fault what would you have done.? You and granger didn't even get on at that point.
I Still wouldn't have let him... My brother... Son of a bitch this is sooo fucked up. I need to talk to her man, I love her she's the one.
I felt my heart jump in my chest. Oh Draco you stupid git how could he ever think any of this could be his fault. I open the door and I see everyone downstairs, they look and up and I see the worry in their faces.
Draco looks at me panic etched in his alabaster skin. "Hermione."
"Draco come upstairs we need to talk. "
" Hermione are you sure you're up for this "
" Blaise it's ok"
Draco walks slowly up the stairs keeping his eyes glued to me, I take his hand and make our way into my bedroom I sit down in the middle of the best legs crossed and pat the stop next to me. Tentatively he makes his way next to me and sits as he opens his mouth as if to say something I place my fingers over his mouth.
"Don't say anything ok? Just sit I need to get this off my chest. I know that what you've heard has you spinning in a thousand different ways and that it's hard for you to comprehend I get it believe me I do, but for the sake of us-" I motion between us, "for the sake of what we have you have to let it go."
"Let it go? Hermione I can't let this go. It's not like you told me that Weasley tried to kiss you, that I could deal with… I'd just kick his ass, but this is too big for me to just get over."
"Then accept that it's something awful that happened and that you can't change it. Accept that and let's move on."
Draco rubbed the bridge of his nose and huffed with exasperation. "I love you you know that? Every crazy curl and ravenously gorgeous smile. That's why I'm here, I love you and nothing can ever change that." I kiss his cheek and and my head and on his shoulder. "I know, I love you too."
"Can we discuss our living situation now? When am I moving in?" He said a sassy smirk.
"Haha, well we need to talk to Luna and Blaise about that."
"Why? aren't those two supposed to leave anyway, do I need to ask permission from Zabini and Lovegood?"
"This is our house , we bought this place together, it's been our home for years so yeah you've got to ask for permission." I stroked his cheek, laughing a little. "It's going to be ok, come on let's go."
I took his hand in my mine, fingers entwined and walked out of the room, down the stairs, meeting Luna and Blaise who were in the kitchen tea in hand looking incredibly nervous. Blaise looked up and locked eyes with me, reading my face trying to see where I was. I nodded assuring him that I was ok and let out a deep sigh of relief. What would I do without him? This guy has been a better friend to me these last almost ten years than Harry or Ron. One thing that the war teaches you and everything we've gone through is that the entire house system is ludacris. It separated us and made us believe that you can classify a person merely on a few characteristics on not see the person as a whole. From the moment that I got my letter and started reading Hogwarts: A History I was convinced that I would be a Ravenclaw, I dreamed of the Blue and Bronze so when I was sorted into Gryffindor I was surprised, not disappointed, but surprised. I look at the room and it hits me that the most important people in my life right now are two Slytherins and a Ravenclaw, even Harry married a Ravenclaw. Growing up and experiencing what we all did, teaches you that blood purity and houses are all notions created by people too afraid of expanding their understanding.
"So are things good?"
"They're good, Draco and I want to talk to you about something don't we Draco?"
The next two days flew by in a hurry, between finding and finalizing the paperwork on Blaise and Luna's new home, a gorgeous brownstone, just down the block from our old place, now mine and Draco's with a few side apparitions and a couple of extension charms here and there the entire place was furnished and homey in a couple of hours. Draco moved all of his furniture into our place, since Blaise and Luna took all of our old furniture and we turned what was my bedroom into a guest room. I love saying that "our place". Today I spent some much needed time at the club, with all the busy drama around us I was so grateful that Hannah had taken the reins of the club and the coffee shop, that woman saved my life. As I'm typing away on my Macbook communicating with some upcoming bands about bookings, Hannah struts in red Converse, high low black skirt billowing behind and a Clash cropped band tee looking stylish as ever.
"Hermione, someone's here to see you."
"Hannah who is? I'm kind of busy trying to book Imagine Dragons for next Saturday, they're manager is being a huge twat."
"Isn't Seamus Finnigan managing them?"
"Yes he is and he doesn't book them for me, I'll have a talk with his husband, Dean will blow something more than his eyebrows off if he doesn't listen to me. Who's outside Hannah, if it's not urgent tell them to make an appointment."
"Aww Peach, and here I thought you'd be glad to see me."
My heart stopped, panicked I look over to the door and standing there is one Theodore Nott. Immediately my mind goes to Draco and Blaise, oh shit!
"Hannah, I'll handle this, get on the phone with the distributors and make sure they send enough of the honey whiskey this time, we don't want a repeat of last week, thank you."
"Mama's are you sure?"
"I've got this handles hun." She walks out, eyeing Theo like a predatory animal and closes the door quietly behind her. I silence the room because the last thing I need is her eavesdropping on me.
"You'll handle this will you, I'd like to see that."
"Theo, what do you want? Now is not a good time I am swamped."
"What a way to welcome someone back Granger, I just got back to London last night and I wanted to drop by and surprise you."
"That's not a good idea Theodore, it's best that you leave."
"What's wrong Peach, not happy to see me?" He smiled and walks over and takes a seat in front my desk and instinctually I made my way behind it take a seat and try to remain calm and collected, my hand finding my cellphone under in the desk and I start to type a text to Luna: C IS IN 999, but I stop before hitting send, the last thing I need is a huge commotion. I repeat in my head "I can handle this, I can handle this." I place my phone is the front pocket of my pants and stretch my neck trying to shake off the goosebumps that rise from hearing his voice.
"Don't call me that. You have to go Theo, we can't see each other. I'm seeing someone and it is very serious."
"I heard. You can imagine my surprise when I heard through the grapevine that you were seeing Malfoy. How is old Draco?"
"He is absolutely excellent, the best thing that has ever happened to me and I don't think he would enjoy knowing that you came to see me."
"Well he can't have control over every aspect of your life, the Hermione I knew would never-"
"The Hermione you knew was a scared girl, I am not that person anymore and I certainly don't need someone like you to tell me when I am being controlled. Look Theodore, Draco knows about our past. " I see the look of fear appear and disappear in a second from his face. "I want nothing to do with you do you understand me? Nothing." I stand from my seat straightening myself up and as I walk toward the door he grabs me by the wrist. "Let me go."
"Peach... I mean Hermione I didn't come here to talk about Malfoy." I use my free hand to reach into my pocket and press send.
With a loud pop Luna apparates into my office, eyes glaring and complexion flushed with anger. Her eyes dart down to where Theo's hand is clenched around my wrist and he droops his grip, I make my way over to Luna.
"Ahh Lovegood how are you doing, it's been years, You look good, finally developed into yourself I see, that must make Zabini very happy."
"Out."
"Pardon, Lovegood?"
"Get. Out. I won't ask again. Get the fuck out of my club, I don't want to see you anywhere near this establishment or her do you understand me?"
"Frankly Lovegood, I couldn't give two shits what you want I am here to speak to Hermione."
The door flies open and both Draco and Blaise came in wands raised, fury etched on their faces, "Nott" sneered Blaise, Draco make a move toward Theodore, but Blaise put a hand on his shoulder stopping him, "Draco don't" .
"Draco what are you doing here?" I look across the room, Draco isn't taking his eyes off of Theodore and it scares the shit out of me because all I know exactly what this can lead to and all I want to do is get as far away from here as possible. "Draco look at me please."
"Hannah called, she said that someone came to see you and that you looked fucking petrified, so when I called Luna and didn't get an answer I knew who it had to involve.
"Zabini, it's been years how are you doing mate? I see you're still with Loony Lovegood." Nott looks at me and at Draco gesturing between us. "I had to see it to believe it, you weren't kidding Granger, Malfoy? Peach I wouldn't have pegged you for the type to slither into bed with a snake.. well again you did with me and we did so much more that slither."
All I saw was a flash of blonde hair and Draco had Theo on the floor punches flying, both wands clattering to the ground and rolling under the desk.
"Draco! Stop! He isn't worth it stop." I tried to lunge forward to get him off of him, but was pulled back by Luna, "Hermione stop, you're going to get hurt." She looks to Blaise who looks indifferent to the damage that is happening to Theo's face. "What? The bloody fool has it coming, what did he think was going to happen once he came back."
"Blaise you stop this immediately you're not at Hogwarts any more." Agitated he pulled out his wand and had both of them pinned to opposite sides of the room, he flicked and Theo slumped onto the floor while Draco corrected his blazer and tie and whipped the blood of his swollen lip.
Blaise walked over to Draco and put a hand on either side of his shoulders, "Mate pull yourself together, don't let this tosser get the best of you." "And you-", he said as he eyed a bruised up Theodore, who was using his wand to heal his swollen eye and broken nose. "You I want as far away from here as possible do you hear me? I want you gone, because next I will not hesitate to join Draco in pummeling the shit out of you."
Theo slowly picks himself off the ground shaking himself off and makes his way to the door, he looks over his shoulder, "We aren't done Peach, not by a long shot."
Draco looks at his menacingly and he places a protective arm across my body, "the hell you aren't, if I see you anywhere near here I will end you Nott."
He mumbles as he the door closes behind him, "So much for house loyalty."
"Grow the fuck up and be a man." Luna shouts as we hear the pop of Theo disaperating.
*Alright guys I'm finally done with this chapter it took forever but it's done so please leave a comment or PM and let me know how you guys are liking it. Until next time which hopefully will be faster than this one.