Susano-o: And here we go, the first REAL duel of the season, and oh man is Aster gonna get what's coming to him in more ways than one.
Sekhmet: Honestly this chapter is mostly foreshadowing of what's to come. Ice the cokes, grease the popcorn! Sell tickets for the main event!
Susano-o: You would not believe how hard it was to find the actual wording and translation for the quote Rose uses, but it was so worth it (Ed-Edd-Eddy has the best sound design).
Sekhmet: With that said, on with the show.
Duel 32: It's About to Get Crazy…
"Today is the day you return to duel academy," A mysterious figure in white robes said to Aster as he looked over his tarot cards, an upright The Devil was in the significator position.
"Yes," Aster said crossing his arms. "You do understand Rose will not let what I said slide," He explained. "I know it's been five years since I've seen her, but I remember her being a powder keg of anger, she's going to retaliate and I don't know if I'm going to be able to deal with it," He glared. "From what I've seen, on Duel Academy, her word is law."
"Yes this is true," The figure said drawing the next card and placing the upside down The World on top of The Devil. "-But you and I know Fate is the ultimate law," He said drawing and setting The Magician across The World. "And Fate has decreed you will triumph, then she will no longer be a problem."
"Fine," Aster said. "-But remember our deal, I help you and you help me."
"Of course," The figure said nodding "Once the Devil is gone, then the others will fall to Fate's power."
"Alright," Aster said leaving the bright room. "I'll go prepare for my flight then, Sartorius."
Sartorius smiled as he reshuffled his cards.
….
"You ready to fuckin do this?" Yuko asked.
"I've been ready for three day," Rose growled shuffling her deck again. "Has Syrus called yet?"
"No, not yet." Yuko said.
Rose growled and grabbed a nearby stress ball, nearly breaking it from the grip she had on it. "He needs to get back already."
"He wouldn't come back if he knows what's good for him." Yuko said.
"Then I'm going after him," Rose snarled as the stress ball in her hand suddenly exploded. "He's gonna pay no matter what."
Before Yuko could respond, her PDA rang. She picked up, said a couple of affirmations, and hung up. "He's here."
"Good," Rose hissed in satisfaction as she stood up and threw open the door. "Time to fuck up another pretty boy," Rose declared walking away, not noticing the marks she left in the doorknob in the shape of her fingers.
"Here we go again." Yuko said, following.
.…
"Sarge is here," Hassleberry said as he watched Rose crest over the hill. "Private you got the supplies?" He asked Syrus.
"Yeah," He said looking over his supplies. "First-aid kit, fire extinguisher, straight jacket, photos of Alexis in a bikini, handcuffs, rope, a low grade beaver tranquilizer, a high grade elephant tranquilizer, and one taco," he finished.
"Why the bikini photos?" Hassleberry asked.
"Rose has useless lesbianism," Syrus explained. "One look at these and she'll fall right over."
"Ok then," Hassleberry said confused. "Do you see the corporal as well?"
"Yeah, Yuko's right behind her." He said.
…
Aster's helicopter touched down just as Rose reached the docks, before he could even finish stepping out he felt someone spin him around and a fist collided with his face. "HEY FUCKFACE!" A voice yelled as he stumbled backwards onto the dock.
"Corporal you were suppose to contain the Sarge!" Hassleberry yelled at Yuko who seemed shocked the Rose had moved so quick. "Now she's gone AWOL!"
"I've never seen her walk that fast. Not run, WALK." Yuko said. "Either way, she's too strong to be contained by mortal man."
"Well she's about to murder a mortal man!" Hassleberry yelled.
Internally, Yuko rolled her eyes, but made another attempt to subdue Rose.
….
Aster didn't understand what was happening, years of martial arts training and self defense classes proved useless against the human wrecking ball in front of him, his arms hurt, his face felt like it was on fire, but for some reason his shins seemed to hurt the most.
"HEARD YOU WERE TALKING SHIT!" Rose yelled kicking him blocking arms again. 'AND YOU THOUGHT I WOULDN'T NOTICE?" She asked. "BITCH I AM THE ALL SEEING EYE!"
Aster didn't understand what she meant, all he could do was try and protect himself, before he could retaliate he felt Rose grabbed him by his waist and spin him around to lock in his arms.
"So ware katedo, sumero SUMO DO WA ("Let's finish this! Pardon my excessive use of force, but you leave me no choice, my friend. SUMO ATTACK!")!" She yelled before tiger suplexing him onto the concrete. It was at that point that Yuko made her attempt to subdue her. Yuko grabbed her head in a lock and dead weighted, essentially choking and forcing Rose to the ground, Rose made sure to pin Aster as well.
-"That's enough Sarge!" Hassleberry yelled pulling her off while Syrus attended to Aster's wounds.
"I am an eternal flame!" Rose yelled as Hassleberry pinned her to the concrete. "Eternal!"
"Right…" Yuko said.
In the small amount of time he'd been under fire, Aster had been beaten to near unconsciousness. Syrus was debating what to address first, it all looked equally bad.
"Guys good news!" Alexis yelled running down to the docks. "I got an arena reserved and- what the hell happened!" She screamed looking at the scene before her.
"Well the duel just turned into a fistfight. No real surprise there." Yuko said.
…
After attending to Aster's wounds the two finally got the arena for their duel.
"I'm gonna make you uglier bitch," Rose growled. "This is gonna hurt you a lot more than it's gonna hurt me."
"You already hurt me!" Aster yelled.
"And I'm gonna hurt you even more!" Rose yelled drawing her first card. "I play 'E-Emergency Call' to add an 'E-Hero' to my hand, and now I play 'Polymerization' to fuse 'Bubbleman' and 'Clayman' to summon 'Elemental Hero Absolute Zero' (2500/2000)!" She yelled summoning her hero on the field. "Now I'll play two face downs and end my turn."
"Alright," Aster glared drawing a card. "Oh, would you look at that, I play 'Destiny Hero-Diamond Dude' (1400/1600)," He said as his diamond covered hero appeared on the field. "And now I'll use his effect, I get to excavate the top card of my deck, and if it's a normal spell card I can send it to the graveyard then during my next main phase, I get to activate its effects, without paying the costs," He said smirking.
"Oh great, another one of THESE situations." Yuko said.
"What situation?" Syrus asked.
"If his whole deck operates on that weird turn skipping mechanic he just used, it's some sort of esoteric control deck." Yuko said. "And Gods know we need another one of those."
"Lets see what I get," Aster smirked drawing the card. "Oh look, 'Graceful Charity'," He said showing it. "So now on my next main phase I get to draw THREE cards without sending two to the graveyard," He explained sending it to the graveyard.
"Great," Rose snorted.
"Now I'll set three cards and end my turn," Aster said smirking.
"Alright then," Rose said drawing her card. "I play 'Elemental Hero Stratos' (1800/300)," She said summoning her hero, and now I get to add a 'Hero' to my hand from my deck," She explained. "Now I'll send 'Absolute Zero' to turn your 'Diamond Dude' into pieces!" Rose yelled as her monster charged at Aster's.
"Not so fast," Aster said activating his face down. "Go 'D-Counter', when you attack a 'Destiny Hero' I can negate the attack and destroy the monster that attacked it."
"Oh no you don't," Rose said. "Go 'Mask Change' I switch out my 'Absolute Zero' with my 'Masked Hero Acid', and when 'Absolute Zero' goes to the graveyard I can destroy all monsters on your side of the field!" She yelled as her hero stopped his attack and exploded into a shower of ice shards and tore 'Diamond Dude' to pieces and her 'Masked Hero Acid' appears on the field. "Now when 'Acid' is summoned he destroys all spell and trap cards and your monsters lose 300 Attack for each card destroyed," Acid grabbed his gun and fired it at Aster's remaining two cards. "Now my two heroes are gonna fuck you up!" She yelled as 'Stratos' flew forward and slashed Aster with his wings (Aster LP: 8000-6200). "And now 'Acid' spank him again!" (Aster LP: 6200-3600). "Now I end with a face down."
"Yeah! That's the way we do it here!" Yuko cheered. "Slaughter him like a hog!"
"Don't you think you're being a bit extreme?"
"Hey, if it were up to me, Rose might still be punching him. I've taken a punch from her before, and trust me, he deserves many of them." Yuko defended.
"Great move Rose!" Alexis also cheered.
"My move," Aster said glaring as he drew four cards. "I play the 'Clock Tower Prison' field spell!" He yelled as a giant big ben appeared behind him. "Now on your standby phase I get to put a 'Clock Counter' on it and when I get 4 I take no battle damage, now I play 'Destiny Hero-Dread Servant' (400/700)!" He yelled as a knight like hero appeared on the field. "And when he's summoned I get to put a 'Clock Counter' on my 'Clock Tower Prison'," He explained as the clock's hand moved into the 3pm position with a loud gong sound. "Now I set a card and end my turn," He laughed.
Rose snorted. "I draw," She said as the 'Clock Tower Prison' dinged into the 6pm position.
"And now I play 'Eternal Dread'!" Aster yelled. "Now I can put two more counters on my 'Clock Tower' giving me four!" He yelled as the clock dinged again into the 9pm and then finally into the 12am position with the sound of 12 gongs.
"Chime all you want, you can't stop the rock!" Yuko said.
"You're doing amazing Honey." Alexis said, trying to offset Yuko's overbearing enthusiasm.
"Congrats," Rose deadpanned. "I play 'Masked Charge' to add a 'Hero' and a 'Change' quick-play spell to my hand, now I use 'Masked Change' to send my 'Stratos' to the graveyard to summon 'Masked Hero Blast' (2200/1800)!" She said as 'Stratos' put on the mask, transforming him in a green luminous tornado. "And now I can half one of your monsters attack (Dread Servant 400-200/700) and by paying 500 life points I can send one spell or trap card back to your hand, so goodbye to your 'Clock Tower Prison'!" (Rose LP: 8000-7500) She said as a tornado quickly swept away the clock.
Aster smirked as he looked at his face down 'D-Fortune', as Sartorius predicted, he was going to win this duel.
"Now I play 'Allure of Darkness'!" Rose yelled shocking Aster. "I get to draw two cards, and then I have to banish a 'Dark' type monster or discard my entire hand."
"That's insane!" Aster yelled.
"Yeet this sucker!" Yuko shouted.
"I wonder what Rose is planning with that." Syrus asked.
Rose smirked as she drew her cards. "Oh look at this," She said showing her 'Elemental Hero Shadow Mist', "Sorry 'Shadow Mist'," She said banishing her card.
"It doesn't matter," Aster growled. "I'm still gonna win!"
"Nope," Rose laughed. "See my other card is 'Mystical Space Typhoon'!" She yelled as a giant vortex sucked up Aster's card. "And now the way is clear," She smirked.
"No!" Aster yelled. "This wasn't supposed to go this way!" He yelled. "Destiny is on my side!"
"FUCK YOUR DESTINY!" Rose yelled readying her heroes to attack. "I REJECT YOUR REALITY AND SUBSTITUTE MY OWN! 'ACID'! 'BLAST'! FUCK HIM UP!"
(Aster LP: 3600-0)
Aster fell to the ground in shock as Rose walked over to him and hauled him up by the shirt. "Insult my cards again," She growled bringing him closer to her face. "And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers," She quoted getting even closer to him. "And you will know My name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee!" She yelled chucking him across the arena and over the edge where he landed in a heap on the floor.
"Yes! Absolutely!" Yuko cheered.
"That's how it's done in the army!" Hassleberry yelled.
Alexis simply smiled and started clapping.
"Great job Rose!" Syrus said.
"There was only one logical end to this," Bastion said nodding from beside Hassleberry. Everyone looked confused trying to figure out when he got here.
"Yeah this wasn't worth it," Chazz sneered from the row above. Again everyone looked confused when he got here.
….
Sartorius looked at the fallen The Magician in shock, this was not what he had predicted, not at all. "This can't be," He said looking at his latest prediction, however no matter what he did he could not get an accurate reading on The Devil. "The only way this could be is if she has awoken," He said trying a prediction on The Emperor, this one worked, as did Strength, The Hermit, and The Star. "No, she has not truly awoken, otherwise she would have protected them," He said with a large smirk. "I can use this," He said grabbing his phone and dialing a number. "Hello Aster … No do not worry, I know what happened … yes it means we will have to accelerate our plans … yes I will be there soon," She said ending the call and laughing loudly.