Susano-o: And that's when the author's realized there references (Looks up BDZA transcripts) had become as transparent as a window.

Sekhmet: Finally, a good chapter! We had wanted to do this sequence for a while, but couldn't really fit it in until this chapter.

Susano-o: I liked Miller, but the second I saw the cave duel I was like, "Yeah, Rose would blow that up." So this will be a short chapter.

Sekhmet: And of course the ending of this chapter is one of my favorites so far.

Susano-o: You love JR.

Sekhmet: I love JR. And Bonaparte is a chain smoking halfling, boom send tweet. On with the show!

Duel 38: Two Birds, One Yeet

"Ok Lorenzo," Rose said smirking at the tied down boy. "You have two options now," She said, holding up two buckets. "Do you want me to shove your dick into the bucket full of crabs, or your hand into this one full of cacti needles?" She asked raising an eyebrow. Lorenzo started screaming incoherently against his gag.

"Or you could do option gamma and tell us the password to the white dorms security gate?" Rose asked getting close to his face. "Speak quickly or I'll send Dark Priestess in again," Lorenzo started panicking even more at that.

"I'm very interested in testing a new power I found," The Dark Priestess chimed in from behind the door, a dark green fog seeping from underneath. "It involves the melting of the very flesh from your bones."

Lorenzo screamed and Rose finally took off the gag. "It's 12345!" He screamed crying.

"It can't be that simple," Rose asked glaring.

"No it is!" Lorenzo yelled. "The white dorm students are all stupid! They can't remember anything more complicated!"

Rose did nod at that. "This is true," She muttered. "Alright you're good...for now," She said walking out of the room. "So what did Syrus tell you?" Rose asked Yuko.

She took out a small amount of crumpled up pieces of paper from her pocket. "It's mostly just where our former cohorts are and what they're up to. However, he did mention some guy named Howard X Miller being an upcoming opponent." Yuko recrumpled them carefully, debating on whether to keep them or burn them because on the one hand it was precious and dangerous intel, but on the other hand, it was the only reassurance she had that Syrus was ok, also they all had little hand drawn hearts on them, and that made her squeak.

"Oh yeah," Rose said, holding out a note she had. "He sent me a message inviting me to a party, told me to RSVP."

"Where's the party?" Yuko asked.

"Some cave on the edge of the shoreline," Rose said.

"You're gonna blow it up, aren't you?" Yuko asked.

"Oh you know me so well," Rose said hugging her close. "Now you get a prize," She said wiggling her eyebrows.

"I don't want it." Yuko said.

"Too bad," Rose whispered. "There's no brakes on this train."

"Well you'd be best not to. Rows of teeth. Like a shark." Yuko said, doing a small crotch chop.

Rose paled. "Nope," She said letting go. "Syrus can deal with that," She laughed.

"And they retract for him and only him." Yuko said.

"And your dildos," Rose chuckled walking away to her stash of explosives.

"That I don't have." Yuko said after her.

"Press X to doubt," Rose said pulling out an Xbox controller and pressing the X button.

"Didn't even use the ones you gave me." Yuko said.

Rose looked confused at that. "-But they have been used," She explained.

"Well you locked us in a room and we didn't touch them." Yuko said.

Rose sighed. "One more mystery to add to the list," She muttered pulling out a notebook.

"Yep." Yuko agreed.

….

"Alright everything set?" Rose asked.

"Yeah, I think so." Yuko said, sticking the last wire in a block of C4.

"Good," Rose said smirking. "Now we wait."

….

Aster watched the Black Knights in confusion, they had been messing around with the entrance of a nearby cave for the past hour or so. As he pondered this a ship horn cut through his thoughts as another Society boat landed on the dock. "Who's here?" He thought.

A scraggly rat of a man stepped out of the boat, a lecherous grin plastered on his face. He said something to himself, then crushed a flower beneath his feet.

"Oh great, it's Sartorius' lawyer." Aster thought. He watched with an eerie feeling as Miller entered the cave entrance, preparing to face the Dark Knights.

….

"Oh wow everyone ready for the party!" Rose yelled loudly as the group walked towards the cave entrance.

"I sure am!" Yuko said loudly. Hassleberry nodded excitedly as did the rest of the Black Knights.

Aster watched this in confusion, this seemed way too rehearsed. Alexis, Chazz, and Syrus on the other hand were not as smart and believed them outright.

"They totally bought it!" Chazz whispered excitedly.

"What dopes! This was so easy!" Syrus whispered.

"They'll never beat Howard," Alexis giggled.

Rose smirked as she found the hidden plunger. "Ok guys you ready for the party?" She asked.

"Sure am Rose!" Yuko said with a huge smile on her face.

"Affirmative Sarge!" Hassleberry said smiling. The rest of them nodded as well.

"Alright!" She yelled pushing the plunger, setting off the explosive chain around the entrance, burying it in rubble.

Aster looked at this in shock. "What the-!" He yelled watching the huge pile of rocks bury Howard inside.

"What did they just do!?" Chazz yelled in confusion.

"What the fuck?!" Syrus just about screamed.

"They just murdered him!" Alexis screamed.

Rose laughed as she turned to the group. "Well that was a great party wasn't it?" She asked.

"Absolutely!" Yuko said. "Now let's go to the after party, we've got gorditas and chalupas!"

"Yay!" The rest of the group cheered as they all started walking back towards the dorm happily.

The white students, and Aster, looked at this display in pure confusion. Then quickly ran back to their dorm to get help, and Aster went back to his boat to rethink his life choices.

….

It took many days of digging, which was hell on all the rich kid hands, but Miller was eventually dug out. He came out staggering and looking like death warmed over, his shoe was even missing.

"Miller," Sartorius said from his palanquin, because of course he wouldn't help dig. "What happened to you?"

"I'm not going back in there. I was trapped for days in there, with nothing but the darkness and the laughing. Ya'll can find yourself another lawyer, I quit!" He panted, and went off to find something other than a shoe to eat. "I'm gonna be a pastry chef!"

Sartorius watched his former lawyer walk off in shock, then anger. "That's it," He growled. "They're not getting away with this," He said snapping his fingers. "Take me to the Red Dorm," He ordered.

"Yes Master!" A chorus of students declared in unison, and the procession proceeded.

…

The procession finally made its way to the outside of the Red Dorm Camp, and parked out there to the wariness of the guards on duty, who quickly called all the students out.

Sartorius left his palanquin and glared. "I challenge Rose to a duel!" He yelled. "Bring her out!"

The student's went silent before one yelled. "Hey! It's that dick!"

"Let's beat him up and take his lunch money!" Another yelled. With a chorus of agreement, all the students charged at once.

Sartorius's eyes went wide as her turned to run, suddenly the world froze and went sepia tone.

"And that's when the Cult Leader realized that if you walk into the lion's den," A man with a thick southern accent said as the world returned to normal and the Black Knights started charging after him. "You just might get mauled."

"Someone stupid get in my way!" Sartorius yelled, luckily for him Chazz stepped in front of him.

"Master what are you-?" He started asking before Sartorius grabbed him and threw him towards the charging pack. "No! Wait! I have money!" Chazz yelled as they grabbed him, suddenly the world went sepia again.

"And that's when the pretty boy realized that his money was about as useful," The southern man said again as the world returned to color with Hassleberry elbow dropping Chazz in the stomach. "As a screen door on a submarine."

Alexis seeing Rose leading the rest of the charge, decided to jump onto her back and try to stop her assault, when Rose suddenly grabbed her she realized she had made a mistake as the world went sepia.

"And that's when the Ex realized that if you grab the bull by the horns," The southern voice said as the world returned to color with Rose hoisting Alexis over her head. "You just might get gored."

"Imma plant me a dumbass tree!" Rose yelled as she drove Alexis's face into the dirt with all her might, leaving her stuck head first in the ground.

Yuko bull rushed Sartorius, punching him in the gut just like Joey had taught her. It knocked the wind out of him, and she grabbed his hair in his moment of weakness. Rose suddenly came flying in with a steel chair that she smashed against Sartorius's face.

"MA GAWD! THAT KID'S FACE IS BROKEN! PUT THE WOMEN AND CHILDREN TO BED! GOOD GAWD ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN, WOULD SOMEBODY STOP THE DAMN MATCH!" A random Black Knight in a cowboy hat and glasses with a midwestern accent holding a mic yelled as he watched the fight. Yuko chopped Satorious in the windpipe repeatedly, forbidding him from taking a breath. "AND THE RAFTERS ARE RATTLING! AND IT LOOKS LIKE SARTORIUS RETREAT FOR A BIT LIKE A SCOURING DOG. FOLKS I CAN TELL YOU THIS IS GONNA BE A SLOBBER KNOCKER!" The cowboy hatted student yelled again.

Sartorius wheezed as he tried to get away, this had not gone as planned, not at all. Suddenly he felt two sets of hands grab him and haul him back. "Time for a swim," Rose smirked.

"What are you doing?" A french voice called out from the treeline. Everyone turned and saw the chain-smoking halfling that was Bonaparte walk out glaring at them. "You can't do this! This is assault! I'll see you all expelled for this and your dorm torn down!" He yelled.

The Black Knight's looked at each other for a second. "Get him!" Rose ordered, and her troops obeyed instantly pouncing on the small professor like a pack of lions on a Gazelle.

"HE JUST GOT WHIPPED LIKE A GOVERNMENT MULE!" The cowboy hatted kid yelled as they beat Bonaparte into the dirt. ""MANKIND IS DELIVERING A RESTAURANT QUALITY BEATING!"

When the dust cleared, Yuko and Hassleberry dragged Bonaparte to the edge of the cliff and held him upside down like a football for Rose to kick. "BIG TIME, AMERICAN KICK! ... TAKE HIM FOR A RIDE! SEND HIM TO HELL! SEND HIM TO HELL!" The cowboy hatted kid yelled as Rose got a running start and kicked Bonaparte off the cliff into the ocean below. "OH LORD I JUST HAD AN OUTTA BODY EXPERIENCE!"

The entire dorm cheered. "Now let's go beat up the Cultist again!" Rose yelled and the crowd agreed, but when they turned around they realized the Society students had vanished during their game of Bonaparte Ball. "Oh son of a bitch!" Rose yelled.

"Let's go burn their deck furniture for a third time!" Yuko suggested, and the dorm agreed.

"Get the blowtorches!" Rose ordered.

The rest of the day was spent burning the white dorms deck furniture while the Society of Light cowered in the basement licking their wounds.