Two sand shinobi carried the bathtub into the hallway outside of his office where Gaara was standing with a few others. Kini had calmed down a bit and was leaning against the wall with his arms crossed.
The man in the tub had tufts of orange hair poking out from beneath a scaly helmet, the same scales that now grew along his arm.
Gaara approached the tub and looked down with a horrified look in his eyes. "You. You forgot to fill up the bathtub!" Gaara leaned back and pulled at his hair.
"Hey, it's fine. I didn't bring a change of clothes anyway," the man on the tub said.
Gaara huffed a few times, then released his hair and turned his eyes towards the newcomer. "I am Gaara, the Mad Kage, but I'm not angry mad, not crazy mad. And I'm not mad at you. I'm mad at all the criminals we've had in this village recently."
"If you'd quit making crazy-ass laws, there'd be less criminals," Kini said.
Gaara slapped Kini's back. "Isn't he funny? This village was actually falling apart before I took over. Can you believe that drugs like caffeine and sugar were legal?"
Even the fucking Corruption nut was looking at Gaara like he was crazy. But he straightened out his face quickly enough. "Um, Gaara. My name is Maguro. I am known as the Demon Lord, the Avatar of the Corruption, and King of the Midnight Palace. I came here to talk to you about the Corruption."
This guy was an obvious fraud. Well, that actually calmed Kini down a lot. He was just an idiot, pretending to be some bigshot villain.
"Yes, I've been expecting you, Demon Lord Maguro. My advisors told me a week ago that you were coming," Gaara said.
"Oh," Maguro said. "Then you must have some very skilled advisors." If he only knew how skilled they were.
"Many people see the Corruption as a force of evil, but the Corruption is actually here to revolution the world," Maguro said. "I went into the Corruption and I was reborn under the sunny rays of the crimson moon. It told me to gather those who would receive its words and uh… make a cult."
Kini felt the urge to facepalm from second hand embarrassment. If you're going to start a cult, you probably shouldn't tell people that it's a cult.
Gaara was taking sneaking glances up and down Maguro's body as he spoke. Then, Kini noticed a twinkle in Maguro's eye. Oh no.
"So, why should I join your cult?" Gaara asked.
Maguro stood up in the bathtub and stared into the mad Kazekage's eyes. "Because the Corruption is your destiny. It told me that you would find true love once you are reborn as I have been."
For a moment, Kini saw a spark of hope in Gaara's eyes that made him very nervous. Then Gaara's eyes sank.
"I haven't had much luck with love," Gaara said. "I just… can't believe in love anymore. Well, this was a fun talk. I guess I'll kill you now."
Good. Kini had been very worried about how this would turn out.
Maguro put his hands up. "Whoa, whoa, hold on! Um… what happened to you, exactly."
"No, we're going to fight now. No one interfere."
Some of the mercury from Gaara's leg trickled out and formed into a disk in his hand.
Maguro frantically made hand signs. Kini knew Gaara was toying with him by giving him time to finish his technique.
A blaze erupted around Maguro's body. Kini could see Maguro's skin burning off here and there, buy it was healing just as fast. Maguro screamed. But then he laughed. That wasn't a boastful laugh, it was genuine surprise. There was some derangement in there as well, but not surprising considering how much pain Maguro must be in. The bathtub melted and sank to the floor.
Gaara tossed his disk of mercury.
Maguro squealed like a little girl and held his hands up in front of himself.
But the disk vaporized against the fire.
"What is that strange chakra?" Gaara asked. "It seems to be boosting your healing as well as your ninjutsu."
Maguro smiled. "This is the love of the Corruption. Only those who reject this love are made defigured by the Corruption, but those who accept it will be welcomed as the children of the Corruption and rechieve her blessings."
"Children?" Gaara asked. "My parents never showed me any love. I hardly saw them at all in fact."
"That's… really sad, actually," Maguro said.
From the cracks in the floor, red mercury began bubbling up, just a tiny puddle.
"Now I'll show you what mercury can really do," Gaara said.
"Run!" Kini shouted at the other Jonin. His chakra surged into the metal plates under his shoes and a magnetic force launched him down the hall.
Maguro looked down. "So there's just mercury down in the ground? That sounds really dangerous. I mean, how'd you even get a whole planet down there?"
Kini kicked down the wall and kept moving away from the Kazekage building.
Kini felt the Shockwave rush over his body. He hard the massive explosion go off behind him.
When he turned around, he saw the other three Jonin were lying on the ground not too far from him, but they looked unharmed.
The kage building, however, was completely demolished. Except for one section which was engulfed by quick silver. That room was his office. Really? People had to have died in that explosion, but he saved the ponies. Well, at least animal
Another cocoon of mercury surrounded Gaara.
Maguro however, or what was left of him was scattered here and there.
As Kini approached, he saw Maguro's strange blue-scaled arm seemed mostly unscathed though.
Then the fingers twitched and a mouth on the hand opened. Black sludge spewed out of the hand and Kini had to jump back once again.
The sludge became a large pool. The hand reached out from that pool. Then a second hand. Maguro somehow pulled himself up from the sludge.
Kini gaped at him as thoughts raced through his mind. This guy was for real. He actually had some kind of Corruption power and it was a pretty bullshit power to allow him that degree of regeneration.
Maguro looked around, confused. He glanced at Kini. "Did he do his attack?"
Kini continued to stare, dumbfounded by his dumbassery.
The mercury around Gaara lowered. "You survived my attack? That's actually really impressive. How'd you even do it without metal bones?"
"Oh, well…" Maguro glanced at Kini, apparently hoping for an answer. "Well, you should have paid closer attention. My moves are too fast to see."
Maguro waved his hand forward and the black sludge formed a wave that crashed down upon Gaara.
But Maguro's moves were most definitely not too fast to see and Gaara had plenty of time to block with his own wave of mercury.
But Gaara's mercury slowed and was soon overtaken by the black sludge. Kini saw luminous crimson streaks running through it, before it turned back on Gaara.
Gaara found himself ensnared by what had been his own mercury. Was this idiot… actually going to defeat the mad kage!? It would be good if the mad kage was put down, but he knew Maguro might be an even bigger threat.
Wait. Why was Gaara smiling?
"I see now that the love of the Corruption is the real deal. That's why you are so strong." Gaara said.
No. That made no sense. Strength came from talent and experience. But there was no point in arguing against Gaara's romanticism, and frankly, that was one of his more rational fixations.
"I think. I think I can even dare to hope one last time." Gaara's eyes began to well with tears. The hell was the lunatic doing now?
The corrupted mercury around Gaara fell away as Maguro lowered his arm.
Gaara wrapped his arms around Maguro and began sobbing into his chest.
Maguro petted Gaara's head. "The Corruption loves you and will never abandon you."
"I've decided." Gaara said. He then fell to his knees and bowed his head. "Avatar Maguro, please allow us to join you. The Corruption will have our full support in restoring the sanity that this world has lost."
He placed his hand over Gaara's. "I declare you my first disciple, the Disciple of Rations and Reasonabilty."
Kini had been gritting his teeth. He'd kept telling himself to hold out. But now he was panting heavily. His forehead thumping. He shot a venomous glare at Gaara.
"I will take the sand into war against the enemies of the Corruption." Gaara stood and looked at Kini. "Send out a messenger tree to every village. Sunagakure declares war against all of humanity."
That's the moment the dam broke and Kini kicked Gaara in the face.