Chapter Fifty-Four

A shiver of disgust raced up Kaoru's spine as she remembered her time under the watchful eye of Sōjirō and Gein, and she hugged herself protectively.

"They barely let me leave my room."

It had been a depressing room, with one barred up window and harsh overhead lights. The door had a latch for food to be passed through, and was locked from the outside. A small tub was curtained off in the corner, as well as a covered toilet. The air was always either too hot or too cold, and the walls were heavily padded to absorb noise.

"Gein was the one who brought my food and washed my clothes. He would talk to me more than Sōjirō would, but… like I wasn't real. He'd talk at me, like I was a doll or something."

After a while, Kaoru had stopped trying to talk back. He had never seemed to hear her anyway, and had never responded directly to what she had to say.

"Anytime I got hurt, he was the one who treated me, and it was always with great care. He said… I was important and special. One-of-a-kind. That I had to be kept in good, working condition. In the beginning, I actually thought he was… nice."

A second shiver of disgust rippled across her skin, and bile rose up the back of her throat. Her halting voice abruptly flattened.

"I realized later that he could say nice things even when he wasn't being nice." Blue eyes looked down, and she swallowed. "I had to be 'disciplined' when I was disobedient, and I was disobedient a lot."

Kenshin's hand touched her arm, and her eyes jerked to him a little too defensively. There was anger in his gaze, but concern and empathy as well. Relaxing, she took a deep breath and elaborated.

"Sōjirō never touched me. It was only Gein, but under Sōjirō's supervision and direction. I had to be disciplined carefully. Every mark they put on me was deliberate and cold. It was never in anger or frustration."

The lack of emotion had somehow made it harder to control her own. A part of Kaoru knew, though, that losing control was what they had wanted of her. Pain was not frightening. Pain was temporary and easy to deal with. It was much easier to deal with than anger and rage. The powerlessness that she had felt while under their control had screamed for her to do something. And she had at times. When her terrified emotions had overwhelmed her and her anger had boiled over in visceral reaction, she had lashed out; always without success. Every time, she had regretted it, because Sōjirō had looked so pleased.

Doing nothing, she had found, had earned her the most beatings.

"Was it always physical discipline?" Across the table, Megumi's logical brain worked towards a detailed picture to allow no room for vague assumptions. Jumping at the distraction, Kaoru pulled herself away from the strengthening fire in Kenshin's violet irises.

"No. Um…"

Vague memories of leaving her room crowded to the forefront of her thoughts, but they were unclear and foggy. Notions of darkness screamed of isolation.

"Sometimes he'd do this weird thing where he'd leave me tied up in a pitch-black room. There was some sound… a recording, I think, of random words that would repeat over and over again."

The vixen frowned. "Random words. Like what?"

The trail of memory evaded her, like shadows running from light.

"I… I don't know. It's weird because, I know it happened, but I don't really remember it happening."

"That makes sense. They conditioned you."

"C-conditioned?" Sitting up a little straighter in her chair, Kaoru leaned forward and stared straight into Megumi's eyes. "How does that work? Is that how that made me use my flames upstairs?"

"That's right." Megumi looked slightly impressed. "Placing you in a pitch-black room is a form of torture. Have you ever seen an abused animal?"

"On TV."

"They're usually violent, right? Because they're trying to protect themselves. They don't know who they can trust, so they lash out at everyone. Cornered wild animals will do the same. It's a defense mechanism. They ingrained that into you, and then associated that feeling with a specific pattern of words. Whenever you hear those words, you react the way they conditioned you."

Chewing her bottom lip, Megumi sat back into her chair.

"What I don't understand is why they did it at all. If Sōjirō has full control over you through the seals in your body, why waste time placing you under a mental suggestion? The trigger isn't even easy to say."

"Perhaps they were setting a trap for someone else?"

Sōzō's input made Kenshin frown, but he nodded in agreement.

"Maybe they planned for her to taken in by someone specifically. Someone that wasn't us."

"It's something to keep in mind." Megumi turned the conversation back to Kaoru by posing another question. "Do you think Gein was being used by Sōjirō, or was he in on the plans?"

"I'm not sure. He always addressed Sōjirō as 'Sōjirō-sama', but… it never really sounded sincere to me."

"That's something." Cinnamon eyes narrowed in thought. "If they have two different agendas, there could be some fallout. You said they never spoke of their plans around you, but they may have said something without you realizing. Did anything ever stand out to you? Anything that they said that you found odd?"

Dark lashes blinked, and she darted a glance at Tomoe and Enishi as they stood behind her. A light crease formed between her brows, and her gaze slid to her other side to look at Kenshin and the beanie covering his horns.

"I heard them in the hallway once talking about fighting strength. I'm not completely sure what they said, though, so I may have misheard them."

"That's okay, just tell me what you think they said."

They never spoke in the hallway, unless it was to her or her neighbor across the hall, so Kaoru remembered that it was strange to hear their voices. Despite pressing her ear to the food latch, though, their voices had still sounded muffled and distant as they walked away.

"Something about 'him' not being strong enough anymore. I also thought I heard Gein mention they were no match for a dragon with 'what they had'."

Across the room, Sōzō stood slowly from his chair.

"Are they planning to attack the Emperor? Is that what they conditioned her for?"

Everyone in the room shifted uncomfortably, but Megumi threw the hiderigami a glare.

"Sit down. Do you know what kind of shit storm we'd create by suggesting that? The Emperor's paranoid as it is. He'd have us all killed just to make sure we weren't in on it."

"I agree." Kenshin's frown had darkened. "He already doesn't like me, and I'm not willing to expose Kaoru to him. Besides, even if he wasn't the most protected demon in the country, he's also one of the strongest. We should worry more about what Sōjirō plans to do to make sure they're a match for a dragon."

Kaoru blinked.

"Are dragons really powerful?"

Behind her, Enishi grunted.

"Dragons are the most powerful. They're also extremely rare, and, as a result, sacred. It's a mortal sin to kill one."

Quietly, Kenshin corrected him.

"Dragons are merely the pinnacle of demon-kind."

"Hmph. No point in being humble about it now."

A small, confused frown formed between Kaoru's brows as she looked between the two men and tried to make sense of what lay hidden behind their explanation. Before she could draw any conclusions, Megumi demanded her attention.

"You said, 'him'. That 'he' wasn't strong enough anymore. Who were they talking about? Sōjirō?"

"Oh, uh, no. I think they were talking about Shishio."

As soon as the name dropped, Kaoru realized this piece of information probably should have been shared earlier.

"Shishio. You didn't mention there was someone else."

"I was going to." Kaoru pursed her lips defensively at Megumi's accusing statement. The vixen sighed in disgust.

"Well? Was this Shishio the only other one? Were there other revived humans or demons? If so, how many? Be specific. This is the kind of information we need."

"I only saw one other man, and that was Shishio. But…" Her crossed arms fell into her lap, and she frowned as if puzzled. "I'm still not really sure who he was. He was covered in bandages, from his head to his feet, like he had a skin condition. The area around his eyes looked kind of rotten or… burned. He was locked up in the room across from mine. I thought it was odd, because Sōjirō called him 'Master Shishio.' The way he spoke to him… it was the only time I thought he sounded genuinely sad."

"He was locked up? Do you think he was also… revived?" Kenshin posed the question, and Kaoru gave him a helpless look.

"I don't know. Whoever he was, he… his mind wasn't really there. He would throw tantrums and destroy his room all the time."

The noise had actually comforted her at first, to know that she was not all alone. After a while, the comfort had turned to something like pity. The same kind of pity one might have for a child that only wanted attention.

"I used to sing to him, and he'd calm down. I don't think Sōjirō liked it, though."

"Why not?" Megumi was back to directing the conversation, and Kaoru returned her gaze to the fox.

"At first, he didn't really care, so I sang as much as I could, but a few months before I escaped, he started telling me to stop. When I didn't listen, he started threatening to remove my tongue."

The escalation had been drastic, but Kaoru had never cared for his threats. Pain did not scare her, but losing her voice did.

"Why? What was your singing doing?"

A slight shrug lifted Kaoru's shoulders, and she shook her head in confusion.

"I was just singing. Maybe he found it annoying."

"Threatening to remove your tongue is a bit extreme. Your singing must have been doing something more than just calming him down. From what I understand of this Sōjirō, he's calculating and unempathetic. Scarring you, as disgusting as it is, is used more to cause mental impairments and trauma than long-lasting physical harm. Had he punished you in any way that caused permanent physical damage prior to that?"

"N-no."

Cinnamon eyes glanced briefly down at Kaoru's chest.

"What about that scar on your chest and the matching one on your back? It's a stab wound, correct? That would have pierced your heart. Was he testing to see if your body would die or if he could revive you after suffering a mortal wound?"

One hand covered her sternum, almost protectively, and Kaoru's face creased into an aggressive frown.

"No." A second later, and she forced her features to relax. Tentatively, she licked her lips. "I… I don't remember how I got this. But I definitely know it wasn't given to me by either of them."

"Hmm." Crossing her arms, Megumi tactfully let it go for the moment. "Either way, we can assume your singing may have some kind of power or effect on your intended target. This Shishio, in this instance. Otherwise, Sōjirō would not have reacted so fiercely to stop you."

"W-what?" Kaoru looked around the room in shock. "B-but… I've been singing lately. What if I've done something to all of you without knowing it?"

Kenshin smiled calmly when her eyes slid over him, and even Tomoe and Akira gave her an encouraging look.

"Don't worry, Miss Kaoru. If you have, it's certainly not malicious."

"S-still…"

"Let's not derail the conversation." The interjection was quick and concise. "We will eventually figure your powers out in detail, but for now, I need you to focus on answering my questions. Why did you keep singing to this Shishio person even after Sōjirō threatened to harm you?"

Kaoru's hand slowly dropped from her chest, and she reluctantly allowed Megumi to direct her back to the topic at hand.

"I… I don't know. It was hard… not to."

Her fingers tugged at one another in her lap in restless anxiety.

"Shishio would scream at me to sing for him. He'd scream and scream, at all hours of the day and night. That was bad enough, but… it's like I couldn't stop myself."

She had to sing to him. Something foreign and deep inside of her demanded that she must. How else was she to lead him? Whether it was astray or where he needed to be, it didn't really matter. Just so long as she followed the instincts that willed her to.

"It's like… I could feel his desperation inside me. All of his rage, terror, and sorrow seemed to bear down on me. His emotions were so potent and I just… I had to do something before they swallowed me whole. Singing was the only way I could release those emotions. The only way to stop them from overwhelming me."

The emotions that had poured from the bandaged demon known as Shishio had been contrary to the ones she herself experienced daily. She didn't fully understand all of them, but they had seemed to ask her for help.

"A part of me thought that maybe it kept him from feeling overwhelmed, too. He was… just so pitiful. I wanted to help him."

"Is that when they pinned your tongue and put that seal in your mouth?"

"Yes. It's a little hazy, because the seal also suppressed my memories. I think Sōjirō believed if I could still hum it might be enough to appease Shishio."

"I see." It was hard not to see Megumi's interest now, and her five tails shifted behind her restlessly. "Then the metal pin was just an experiment. He wanted to see if it was the tune that was affecting the other one or the actual words. Did humming work?"

A shake of her head confirmed what Megumi had suspected.

"No. It seemed to make everything worse for him… and me."

The memory from that time trembled not only her body but her determination, and Kaoru visibly squirmed in discomfort. Kenshin's warm hand wrapped around one of her own, and she stared down at his fingers like a coward.

"What do you mean?" His gentle voice coaxed her to keep going, and made her feel safe in her weakness.

"Singing was the only outlet I had. At the time, I didn't have any memories. I didn't know who I was. I couldn't leave, and they… they wanted me to kill people."

Her free hand came up to cover her face as the memory flooded back. Her voice hitched and was strained when she forced her way forward.

"Sōjirō started bringing smaller demons into my room in cages. They were frightened and scared, and they attacked me. He wanted me to kill them. He said it would… make me numb to it, and eventually I wouldn't feel anything. No fear or aversion, but I… even if I couldn't remember who I was, I knew I couldn't kill them. It went on for a long time. Between Shishio screaming and… what they were trying to make me do, I…"

Callused fingers squeezed hers, and she turned her uncertain gaze on Kenshin. Eyes of blue flame, so dark and mysterious, like a light in the dead of night, spoke of a pain he understood and hated. Staring at him as she licked her lips, she finished her thought tremulously.

"I stopped eating. I thought, if I just killed myself, it would all be over. My flames didn't work on me, and I didn't have anything else." The agony and recognition staring back at her soaked her heart in sympathy, because he seemed to know just what kind of emotions had led her to such a decision.

He went through something similar, she remembered.

"How did you escape in that condition?" Still the anchor in the emotional rollercoaster, Megumi urged her on.

A hard swallow worked Kaoru's throat, and she wrapped both of her hands around Kenshin's one.

"One day, Shishio broke out of his room and into mine. He screamed at me to sing for him. Then drug me down the hallway and tossed me out a window when I couldn't. I don't know how far I fell, but I couldn't move at first."

The fall had undoubtedly broken her femur, as Tomoe had later discovered in the lab.

"I thought for sure they would come get me, but time passed and they never did. I got up, and walked off, all the while thinking they would catch up. I was barefoot, and I couldn't walk very fast. Any second, they would grab me and take me back."

There was a pause, and her head bowed forward.

"It took a while before I really started thinking that I could escape."

The fear that had consumed her then had been intense. Believing someone would catch her had allowed no emotion to take hold inside of her mind. The moment she had grasped onto hope, hope that she could get away, terror had gripped her firmly. The intense terror that she would have to go back.

"Do you know how long it was before Ken-sama found you?"

Pulling herself together, Kaoru inhaled and lifted her chin.

"I guess… a few weeks? Maybe three or four. I'm not sure."

"And do you know how long you were with Sōjirō?"

"I can't say for sure, but I remember the weather changing from winter to summer. It happened at least five times after… after I woke up there."

"Woke up?" The chair squeaked as Megumi sat forward eagerly. "Do you remember being revived?"

Put off by her enthusiasm, Kaoru leaned away.

"Not really. Just a hazy feeling… like waking up from a dream. When everything steadied, I was already inside the room they kept me in. Before that, it was just flashes of some basement with… what looked like doll parts, but… thinking about it now, I think they were body parts."

"I see. So, they have some kind of makeshift lab they're using. Why do you think it was a basement?"

"There weren't any windows, and it was really cold and damp."

Megumi nodded thoughtfully, and stuck the entire tip of her thumb between her teeth to chew.

"A cold place would be best to store live tissue. Did you see any other complete bodies?"

Kaoru shook her head.

"They were very careful about not letting me see or hear anything important. I'm sorry I haven't been much help."

"We didn't expect you to know details, though it would have been nice if he were that dumb." The flippant way she dismissed Kaoru's apology somehow lightened the mood, and Kaoru half-smiled. "Besides, I'm much more interested in knowing if you remember anything before they revived you."

"Before?"

"While you were dead, honey." Whatever grace Megumi had won went straight out the window, and Kaoru froze uncomfortably. Remembering that she was actually dead was still surreal and… a bit overwhelming. It brought up memories of people she would never see or talk to again, and regrets over what should have been done.

"Oh…"

Flashes of a world devoid of color filled her mind. Without knowing how, she could feel the cold of that world, and a thrill of terror raced up her spine. Something lived in that world. Something that hunted every soul that passed through it. But there had been something warm there, too. Something… alive and completely contrary to Death.

"Maybe. I mean, not completely. It's… more like a memory of something that never happened, but… I don't think… that I was alone. Something was chasing me and… something was hiding with me."

The contemplative way she spoke formed a light smile on Megumi's lips.

"Interesting."

If the girl could remember something, then perhaps she would eventually remember more. There were thousands of records theorizing on what the afterlife looked like. Knowing what it was like while Megumi was still alive might be helpful with her side project.

"How about how you died? Do you remember that?"

Without saying as much aloud, Megumi knew this was the most important piece of information. There was a reason why Sōjirō had brought her specifically back from the dead. Nothing about the life Megumi had seen through Kaoru's old memories had suggested she bore any importance while alive. The only option left was when, how, and by whom she was killed.

A soft gasp had upset Kaoru's breathing, and she glanced briefly at Kenshin next to her before chewing her lip. His hand still grasped hers under the table, and she clung to him almost desperately. Her lips, however, smiled innocently.

"I don't really remember. There was… a lot of light, and then… nothing."

Sapphire eyes held hers before they finally looked down, and Megumi gnawed the inside of her cheek as she watched. It was the same thing she had heard the girl tell Kenshin every time he had questioned her over the last two months. She wasn't really lying, but… she wasn't really telling the truth, either. Which meant, part of it was true. Megumi, however, did not believe for a second that the girl couldn't remember how she had died. The real question was, why was she hiding it?

"Do you think that scar on your chest is from when you died?"

Kaoru stood abruptly and almost involuntarily. Across the table, one of Megumi's brows lifted. Kenshin jerked as her hands ripped out of his.

"W-why would you think that? This isn't my real body, right? This is just some doll that Gein made. Why would this body have a scar from something that was done to my real body over three hundred years ago?"

The girl was good at pretending. Her argument was logical, but her voice trembled with fear and, ever so slightly, aggression. Megumi had unintentionally gotten too close to the truth. Shrugging, Megumi coolly supplied an answer.

"A death blow might scar the soul and not just the body. That would explain why it only started showing after the seal on your chest released."

Kenshin frowned as he remembered what the scar on her chest looked like.

"That would mean she was killed by a demon that controlled some type of fire."

It was not a realization that sat well with him.

Kaoru's smile was tight and turning fake with every rapid second.

"That's all you needed, right?"

Tomoe, who was still standing behind her, placed a hand on Kaoru's shoulder, and she jumped.

"I said I don't remember." Now the claim was openly defensive, and Tomoe kept her features serene to speak soothingly.

"I believe you, Kaoru-san."

Shielded features softened in contrition, and Kaoru fought to bring back her smile.

"I just remembered. I was going to ask Kiyosato-san for a favor."

Having remained quiet throughout the entire conversation, Akira hunched inward at the unexpected call-out of his name.

"H-huh? Me?"

Tripping slightly over her chair in her haste to escape the table, Kaoru made her way over to the crow demon in mock eagerness.

"Would you help me with the salamander? I've been trying to teach him to fly…"

"Miss Kaoru…" Kenshin stood, but Tomoe placed a hand out to stop him from following her.

"She's already had to re-live a lot. Let's not make her talk about something as traumatic as being murdered." Her voice remained soothing and calm as a way to counteract the heightened emotions and tension in the air. Letting out a long breath, Kenshin agreed reluctantly.

"It's fine for now." Megumi stood as well. "Get all her stuff moved back to the lab upstairs. Now that she's fully released from the seals suppressing her powers and memories, I want to get some updated imaging. If you'll excuse me, I have other work to attend to."

The vixen sauntered off and disappeared towards the elevators. Before Kenshin could decide how best to approach Kaoru, his phone rang in his pocket. Nearly glad for the distraction, he stepped out into the hallway to take the call.

"Himura-san! I'm so glad you answered your phone!"

Frowning, Kenshin walked closer to the elevators where there was better signal. Sometimes, it was hard for his phone to connect in the subbasement.

"Tsubame-san? Are you alright? Why are you calling me?"

The floral demon's voice wavered, even over the phone, and was higher-pitched than normal. Her words tumbled over one another in a rush to be free.

"I-I'm so sorry. I asked Tae-san for your number. I-I really bullied it out of her, so please don't blame her."

"It's fine. Calm down. I can barely hear you."

A soft breath rushed over the speaker as she tried to calm herself, but her exhale was shaky and still very panicked.

"H-have you been in touch with Yahiko-kun?"

Red brows creased harder together as he thought. With everything going on with Kaoru, Kenshin hadn't paid as much attention to life outside of the lab. Focusing on it now, however, made him realize that it had been quite a long time since he had last seen the boy at the restaurant.

"I have not. Has something happened?"

"I… I think so." Now tears were obviously infecting her voice, and she hiccupped. "He told me not to worry about him if he ever had to disappear for a few days. I-I know w-why, but… it's been three weeks now. I went by his apartment, and his landlord said he hasn't seen him."

Her gentle and shy voice was soaked with concern and the terror of not knowing.

"I'm really sorry, Himura-san. I don't know who else to ask for help. I can't go to the police just… just incase it has something to d-do with… his father."

"I see." Kenshin's voice lowered gravely.

"I don't even know if you can help me or not, but…"

"Don't worry, Tsubame-san. I'm going to hang up now, but I'll talk to you at work. Don't say anything to anyone else, alright? And don't do anything out of the ordinary. Keep to your normal routine."

"O-okay. T-thank you."

His options were limited, but that wasn't really the problem. If Yahiko was in the custody of the Sky Emperor, the problem would be finding a way to free him. If he wasn't already dead.

X

A/N: Ugh, this was way too much talking. This was a chapter that took a few revisions, and those aren't very fun to write, but it's worth the revisions in the end. I've learned that if I'm not very happy with a chapter, it's usually because something isn't right. If the chapter's boring (to me, lol) that's different, but if I genuinely hate it, I need to work on it some more. At least I've been able to learn that much! It got to be so long, too! What the hail?! XD Despite that, it's a pretty straight forward chapter, as far as plot goes. I'm hoping to get back to some more romance, but so much is happening that I can't skip or put off at this point. Ah well, we'll get back to the love! I promise! Next chapter, we finally get to see what's happened to Yahiko. Thanks to my faithful reviewers! You make my day!