Susano-o: I know I know we're late, but we have a good reason. Me and Sekhmet finally moved in together!
Sekhmet: Life has been hectic. No one thought a goddess of fire and a god of storms could get along, but here we are!
Susano-o: Yep! So now we can nag each other to work more often. Which means hopefully less delays and late chapters, even though Sekhmet can't seem to understand our upload date is Friday not Thursday. :P
Sekhmet: I like to have it done on Thursday to be posted on Friday, and then it just gets posted cause I forget!
Susano-o: You've only forgotten an upload once. And I'd rather you do it because I ain't good at this technology thing. *Old man voice* What's a google?!
Sekhmet: Don't be such a Common Era. I've just used the site more and you refuse to learn how.
Susano-o: Ok Diocletian, go to bed before I call your dad Ra.
Sekhmet: Unless you're planning to get me drunk, you can't tell me what to do :P
Susano-o: *Summons lightning* Lets go!
Chapter 57: The Boring Chapter That Took Forever
"What happened?" Rose asked, looking down at Blair's injured arm, It had a large bright orange gash on it and she was feverish, covered in a cold sweat as Fontaine bandaged her up.
"She was injured, it's some sort of infection," Fontaine explained. "We don't have the medication to treat it here either."
"Well fuck," Rose snarled. "I'll send some people out to find what monster snuck in here and did this."
"I don't think that'll help," Fontaine sighed. "If this was caused by a monster we wouldn't be able to synthesise a cure for the infection."
As Fontaine and Rose considered their options, Hassleberry threw open the door. "Sarge! Nurse! Someone's coming through the desert!"
….
Yuko stared out into the desert as a blur approached over the horizon. The one steadily became two. Coming over a sand dune was Bastion, ragged and unkempt, riding Tiger Tania like in the opening of Lawrence of Arabia.
"Where the hell have you two been?" Yuko asked when they crossed the threshold onto the island. Bastion had a thousand guard stars that bore through Yuko easily.
"Stuck in the desert for a month…?" Tania said. "We drank a lot of duel dimension peyote to stay alive. Hubby's been high for a week."
"Drink cactus juice, it'll quench ya, NOTHIIIIINGS quenchier, it's the quenchiest!" Bastion shouted, waving a cactus around in the air.
Yuko sighed. "Ok, come on. We need all the help we can get."
…
"Well we gave him a shot of ipecac, it should be enough to pump his stomach." Fontaine noted. Bastion was across the room vomiting into a bucket as Tania cut his hair back to its former shape.
"Well as long as he'll be ok." Yuko said, putting her hair in a high ponytail. "Now what to do about Blair's condition."
"We can't do anything," Fontaine sighed. "We don't have the medicine to treat an infection like this."
"There's a submarine not too far away," Tania said.
"Oh that was real? I thought I had hallucinated it," Bastion mumbled, throwing up again.
"How far is not too far?" Yuko asked.
"Maybe two miles East?" Tania said. "It was hard to tell, all the desert looked the same."
"Oh, East? I thought you said weast." Bastion mumbled.
"Weast? What compass were you reading Hubby?" Tania asked.
"This one." Bastion said, passing her a compass before vomiting again.
"That's West, Hubby." Tania said.
…
"Ok everyone!" Rose yelled. "We'll be back in a few hours! And while we're gone no one become possessed by a demonic entity bent on enslaving the school, ok?!"
"Ok!"
….
"Why did I feel like someone is talking about me?" Marcel mumbled in his book fort that he built for some reason.
….
"I'll get to work contacting professor Eisenstien," Bastion nodded.
"And I'll go get help!" Brandon said happily, making everyone look at him in confusion.
"Uhhh how are you gonna do that man?" Rose asked.
Brandon made a peace sign and faded away, three notes of different pitch being all he left behind.
"...What the fuck was that!?" Rose screamed. "I'm gonna kill you when you get back here you son of a bitch!"
….
Brandon shivered as he reappeared at his childhood home in rural Arkansas, but knew what he had to do.
"Pa! I need to borrow the mule!" He yelled. "I gotta go meet a scientist to bring mah school back from an alternate dimension filled with evil spirits!"
"Got Damn it boy have you been drinking those 9Loko things again!"
"Not since tuesday!" Brandon replied. "Pa if I don't save them, then they'll all be taken by the Super Devil!"
"The Super Devil!?" Pa yelled back. "And his adultery committing marmalade!?"
"That's the one!"
"Well hurry boy!" Brandon smiled and went to hook up Bo the Mule.
….
"And we're off!" Syrus cheered as he, Rose, Yuko, Adrian, Jim and Jesse set off into the desert to the East.
…
"So they're going after the submarine… Lets see how they handle this 'Rock Spirit' I send after them…" Marcel mused, placing a card in his duel disk, which was slowly being infected by the orange goop.
"There's the book I need." Bastion said from nearby, grabbing a book that collapsed Marcel's little book fortress on top of him. Bastion never even knew he was there.
"When I gain ultimate power, you'll be the first to go…" Marcel groaned.
…
"I take a look at my enormous penis, and my troubles start-a meltin' away Ba-um-ba! I take a look at my enormous penis, and my happy times are comin' to stay! I got a sing and-a dance when I glance in my pants I am-a feelin' like a sun-shiney day! I take a look at me enormous pe-he-he-nis and-a everything is goin' my way!" Rose sang loudly as she high kicked her way through the desert.
"If you could sing any other song by that artist that would be great…" Yuko muttered.
"Oh Ok," Rose smirked. "I remember when we broke up, the first time, Saying, "This is it, I've had enough"!"
"No!" Everyone shouted, Rose just laughed. Before she could sing some other terrible song, a pit in the sand opened up in front of the group.
"What's that?" Syrus asked.
"I don't know, but that guy across the way doesn't look too friendly!" Hassleberry said.
"No I don't," Titan, the Rock Spirit laughed. "I'm here to stop you from reaching your goal, with a duel!"
"...why?" Rose asked.
"Because you have too," Titan laughed. "This entire land is the 'Wasteland' field spell, so even if you try to get around I'll stop you, the only way to get through is to duel me."
"Well I'll duel then," Jesse said
"Duel!" (LP: 8000)
"I'll start off by summoning 'Crystal Beast Amethyst Cat' in Attack mode!" Jesse declared. (1200/400) "And I'll end my turn there."
"I summon 'Sand Doodlebug' in Attack mode!" (1200/800) Titan declared. From within the sand pit, an insect that looked like a cross between a rhinoceros beetle and a tarantula emerged. "I'll use his second effect to attack you directly, and then on my End Phase, I'll use his first effect to destroy your 'Amethyst Cat'." (Jesse LP: 8000-6800)
"That's a dangerous combo," Axel said. "Jesse better watch out."
"Right, come on mate! Don't let him get to you!" Jim yelled.
"I draw, and I summon 'Crystal Beast Topaz Tiger'. (1600/1000) "And when he attacks a monster, he gains 400 ATK during the Damage Step!" (1600-2000/1000)
"It makes no difference! As long as the field is 'Wasteland', my 'Sand Doodlebug' can negate one attack per turn." Titan said. A giant sand wall kicked up and blocked 'Topaz Tiger' from descending down the pit.
"I guess I'll end my turn then." Jesse said.
"I draw, and since I can't destroy your Tiger on my End Phase, I'll just attack directly and end my turn." Titan said. (Jesse LP: 6800-4600)
"I draw, and summon 'Crystal Beast Amber Mammoth' (1700/1600) "And I'll have 'Topaz Tiger' attack."
"My 'Sand Doodlebug' negates your attack!" Titan said.
"And next I'll have 'Amber Mammoth' attack 'Sand Doodlebug'!" Jesse continued. 'Amber Mammoth' crushed the big bug under its foot. (Titan the Rock Spirit: 1700-1200) "And I'll end my turn there."
"Wait, so he only has life points equal to his attack?" Rose asked, then chuckled. "Take him out!"
"It's my turn. I summon another 'Sand Doodlebug' (1200/800) and have him attack directly! (Jesse LP: 4600-2400) "And since I can't do anything else, I'll end my turn."
"I draw! I summon 'Crystal Beast Sapphire Pegasus'!" (1800/1200) 'I'll attack with all three of my monsters!" While 'Amber Mammoth' was blocked by a sand wall, 'Sapphire Pegasus' destroyed 'Sand Doodlebug' and 'Topaz Tiger' attacked Titan directly. (Titan: 1200-0. Winner: Jesse)
…
"Damn, they beat that Rock Spirit. But what about this one…" Marcel muttered, placing another Rock Spirit on his disk and removing the first.
"There it is." Bastion said, removing another load bearing book from the freshly reassembled book fort and causing it to crash down again.
"I will end you…" Marcel growled.
…
"There it is!" Syrus yelled.
As the crew crested a sand dune, they came upon a submarine, half submerged in the sand.
"Ok we'll split up on our own-" Adrian started.
"Oh hell no," Rose said. "Come on we're sticking together in groups of two, Jim and Adrian look for the bridge, Axel, Yuko, and Syrus supplies, and that leaves me and Jesse for food."
"Well that sounds mighty fine," Jesse said, grabbing Rose's shoulder. Rose shuddered at the feeling of shipping crawling down her back, but ignored it.
….
"Yuko I found blankets and bedding!" Syrus said smiling.
"Perfect! If it ever gets cold, these will prevent it from getting worse." Yuko said. "Plus comfort is a great morale boost."
"And I found the medical cabinet," Axel said holding up a medical kit. "It had everything we need luckily."
"Even better. I can't find anything though…" Yuko said, and continued into the next cabinet.
….
"Let's see here." Jesse said, opening a cabinet. "Not a thing," He said disappointed.
"Yeah me either," Rose said sighing. "This place is empty."
The two looked around some more, but then 'Ruby' and 'Kuriboh' came out and started running around and looking around, till they popped up to grab Rose and Jesse's attention.
"Let's see...Ultra dense MREs! They don't taste great but they'll keep us alive. Looks like there's enough to keep us alive for a few weeks," She said smiling.
"Here come on load me up!" Jesse said holding out his bag, Rose threw as much as possible into it as well as hers. "Alright let's get back to the group!" He said happily, Rose shuddered at his shipping energy, but nodded.
…
"Looks like we found the communications room," Adrian said looking around.
"Yep," Jim agreed. "Come on then, let's see who this sub belonged to, maybe they're still around."
"Right," Adrian said calmly walking over to one of the consoles and logging in. "Ok, it looks like Echo managed to escape on the life raft, hopefully she'll be ok," He thought, preparing to delete the data.
"What did you find mate?" Jim asked, setting his hand on Adrian's shoulder.
"Nothing much," Adrian said cooly. "-But the people here left before they could be warped away."
"Really now," Jim said, leaning closer to Adrian's head to read the screen. "Well then, good for them, did you find out who owed this sub at least?" He asked, locking eyes with Adrian while gripping his shoulder harder.
"Nope," Adrian said looking back even more intensely as he grabbed Jim's hand on his shoulder and squeezing it harder.
"You sure mate?" Jim said getting right into Adrian's face.
"Yes, what? You don't believe me?" Adrian asked with an intense stare down.
"Oi you two get a room you!" Rose yelled as the group entered the room.
"Sorry," Jim said standing up. "We're trying to figure out who's sub this is."
"Yeah," Adrian nodded. "You guys find what we need?"
"Yep!" Syrus said happily holding up the medical kit.
"Ok let's go!" Rose yelled, clapping her hands.
…..
"Hehehe," Titan chuckled as he released his creatures into the sub. "You're not escaping me this time."
….
Marcel laughed as he watched the events unfold. "Now it's time for part two of my plan," He said grinning.
"Need this!" Bastion yelled, pulling a book from Marcel's fort, collapsing it on top of him.
"I am going to use your intestines as a jump rope," Marcel growled from under his fallen fortress.