Sekhmet: For a goddess of carnage, I can't stand body horror. It freaks me out.

Susano-o: Ok. This is a lighter chapter because we're ramping up to the end of the first half, also we got distracted a lot making 70's porno dialogue for Jim and Adrian's upcoming yaoi fic.

Sekhmet: Yeah, I can't believe it took us till season 3 to break out the yaoi. And when it happened it was a result of a Jojo reference gone wrong gone sexual.

Susano-o: And of course it had to be Jim and Adrian because of that one scene in the anime inside the submarine.

Sekhmet: This is how crackships are born people. Here we goooOOOOO!

Chapter 58: A Big Ol' Convoy

"Ok everyone got their supplies?" Rose asked and a chorus of agreements followed. "Alright then we're moving out!"

Jim opened the hatch, only to be met with a facefull of sand.

"Oh great," Adrian said, grabbing Jim's hand and pulling him up to his feet. "I don't like sand, it's coarse and rough and gets everywhere."

"Ok Anakin," Rose and Yuko said together.

"Well this is a fine how do you do," Jesse said scratching his head. "How are we gonna get out of here?"

"I have an idea! Syrus said.

….

"...Where are they?" The second "Titan, The Rock Spirit' asked, before being promptly thrown in a surprise attack by a "Drillroid"that came from below.

"Yay, it worked!" Syrus cheered.

"Nice job Syrus!" Rose yelled following him outside. "Ah damn it there's another one, go 'Elemental Hero Heat' (1600-1800/1200), Take him out!"

'Heat' reared back and slammed his fist into Titan's chest, destroying him.

"That'll teach you to steal our eggwiches!" Rose laughed.

"No that was the other Titan," Yuko corrected.

"Who is Titan?" Jim, Jesse, Adrian, and Axel asked at once.

"He stole the eggwiches." Syrus said as if that answered everything….it didn't.

"Ok now we just need to lug all these supplies across the desert back to the school fighting anything that stops us along the way!" Rose said happily before realizing what she said. "...Anyone have a better way to do this?" She asked.

Syrus didn't say anything as he summoned 'Truckroid'. "We can use 'Truckroid'!"

"Why didn't we think of this before?" Yuko asked.

"...No one ever mention the fact we're idiots," Rose declared as she had her 'Heroes' load the submarine onto 'Truckroid'. "Ok everyone in!"

"Alright!" Syrus said getting into the driver seat and putting on a trucker hat. "Let's get moving!"

….

Back at the school….

"Hey your food is bigger than mine!" One idiot Obelisk said.

"No it's not! They're the same!" Another idiot Obelisk answered.

"Then you wouldn't mind switching with me!" Idiot 1 yelled.

"No!" Idiot 2 yelled.

"Then they aren't the same!" Idiot 1 yelled.

"No they are!" Idiot 2 yelled.

Bastion had gotten so angry at all the arguing in the background that the piece of chalk broke in his hand. "Will you two shut up?! Some of us are trying to do math to get us home!" Fed up, he grabbed the piece of bread and broke it completely evenly out of sheer rage. "There, now they're both even!"

"...Hey yours is bigger than mine!" Idiot 2 screamed.

"No it's not!" Idiot 1 screamed.

With no other words, Bastion pulled out a paddle that had "Board of Education" wood burned on it and was about to smack them both before the sound of a CV Radio cut through.

"Breaker, breaker, 1-niner. This is The Ding Dong Daddy Over."

"Who the hell is that?" Chazz asked.

"It sounds like Syrus, but he doesn't talk like that." Alexis said.

Bastion sighed as he shoved his way in front of the radio. "Give me that!" He yelled pulling out a trucker hat and a toothpick "10-4, there, Ding Dong Daddy. This is Rubber Ducky. What's your 10-20? Over."

"I've got Preparation H in my rear and we're on the backslide going full throttle in the monster lane. Over!"

Bastion started jumping for joy. "Yee-haw! Copy that, you son of a bitch pile of monkey nuts!" He yelled before putting the radio, hat, and toothpick away. "They've got the supplies and are heading back," He explained to the shocked crowd before returning to his quantum physics.

"...What…" Was Hassleberry's only response.

….

"'Cause we got a little ol' convoy! Rockin' through the night! Yeah, we got a little ol' convoy! Ain't she a beautiful sight?! Come on and join our convoy! Ain't nothin' gonna get in our way! We gonna roll this truckin' convoy! 'Cross the USA!" Syrus sang as he drove across the desert, while everyone stared at him like he had lost his mind.

"He's lost his mind," Rose said from the backseats. "And why am I in the back!?"

"Because the passenger seat is Yuko's," Syrus said smiling at her.

"He's my better half." Yuko said with a beaming smile.

"...God you two are sappy," Adrian mumbled.

"Like maple trees!" Syrus said.

"God damn it," Jim mumbled, slamming his head against the headrest. "How long until we get back to the school."

"Three...hours," Rose groaned.

….

"That was the longest three hours of my life," Jim groaned. Adrian, Rose, and him had been subjected to the longest ride of their lives, Jesse however had gravitated towards the two and made the trip even more unbearable.

"Ain't No Lovin' My Man, Shoowab, Shoowab, Ain't No Lovin' That Man, Can you hear me babyy!" The three sang together.

"Will you three shut up?! Some of us didn't get any sleep!" Adrian yelled, finally cracking under the irritation.

"We can't stop, it's too catchy!" Yuko said, and the three continued to sing.

"We're three sassy mamajamas!" Jesse said happily.

"Ain't No Lovin' My Man, Shoowab, Shoowab, Ain't No Lovin' That Man!"

"We're here!" Rose yelled as duel island came into view. "Let's get out of here already before I go mad!" She yelled.

….

"There we go," Fontaine said smiling as she patched up Blair. "She'll hopefully make a full recovery."

"How long do you think it'll take?" Yuko asked.

"It's hard to say. It could be hours, or days. But what's certain is that she will get better." Fontaine said.

"Well until then we need to help Bastion," Rose said, sitting down on the other bed in the place. "Wait where is that guy we brought here?"

"Daigo?" Fontaine asked. "I don't know, he left in the middle of the night."

"We should find him," Alexis suggested. "He was acting weird, like really weird."

"Ok, Jim and the rest go find him, Axel you and your Blue Berets go and relieve the watchmen," Rose ordered.

"Got it," They answered.

….

Meanwhile in the food storage...

"I've been working with Ojamas all the livelong day!" Chazz sang as he shuffled his deck. "Hehe now that I found Rata's secret ten card OTK he used to win nationals I'll never lose!"

"Duel…." a voice groaned through the halls.

"What the-?" Chazz said standing up. "Hey who's there? Show yourself!" He ordered.

"Duel me…" Daigo mumbled.

"Hey buddy didn't you hear the rules?" Chazz yelled. "No one is allowed down here but the watchman! So get lost!"

"No...You duel me…" Daigo said forcefully.

Chazz snarled and pulled out his radio. "Can I get some assistance down here? We got some dumbass trying to pick a fight."

"Got it, we'll some someone down," Hassleberry said back.

"Ok buddy," Chazz snarled, drawing a card. "You wanna duel, let's duel, I activate 'Ojama Country' and set two facedowns ending my turn."

"My move," Daigo said.

"Not so fast, go 'Ojama Trio' and 'Ojama Duo' now you get five 'Ojama Tokens'," Chazz smirked as Daigo's field filled with tokens.

Daigo said nothing as he ended his turn.

"My move, and I activate 'Polymerization' to summon 'Ojama King' (0/3000-3000/0) and now I use 'Ojamuscle' to blow up your tokens, deal you 300 damage for each, and give 'King' another 5000 attack!" (Daigo: 8000-6500) ('King' 3000-8000/0) "'Ojama King' attack directly!" (6500-0).

"Now," Chazz snorted as his energy was drained.. "Go away."

"Duel," Daig mumbled as he stood up again.

"Hey buddy I dueled you once, now go away!" Chazz yelled, but suddenly a bunch more students came out, all looking the same. "Uhh...hey guys I'm gonna need backup now!" He yelled into the radio. "We have zombies, or ghouls, or something attacking the food storage!"

….

"What do you mean there's a zombie outbreak?!" Yuko asked into the radio.

"Never mind what it means, we just need help. Adrian and I got stuck in the basement," Jim said.

"We're over near the card shop," Jesse and Syrus said. "There's a few students acting funny so they may be the ghouls you're talking about."

"Probably. I'll be down in a few minutes." Yuko said, letting go of the button. "Can we have a normal school year for FIVE MINUTES?!"

"Yuko we're in another dimension, we lost normal a while ago," Rose said, lighting up a joint. "Ok let's deal with ANOTHER crisis!" She yelled. "Round up these zombies and lead them to the basement!"

"Right!" Was the collective as Axel's troops and the Black Knights moved out.

"Hey!" The idiot's from before and a new third one who insisted he had a pompadour but really didn't. "Wait a minute!"

"What?" Rose asked, getting down and into Idiot 3's face. "What could you possibly have to say now that would help the situation?"

"...Why are we taking orders from a Slifer Slacker like you?" Idiot 3 asked.

"..."

"..."

"..."

"...Throw them in the library, they're not worth it right now," Rose ordered walking away as the three were dragged away. "Yuko did I really just hear that?"

"Yeah, I can't believe that just happened, I thought we left that behind two years ago." Yuko sighed, a hand to her face in exasperation.

….

"This is discrimination!" Idiot 3 wailed as the three were chucked into the library.

"No it's not, stop whining." The Blue Beret deadpanned before locking the door, which now had bars on it.

"I can't believe this!" Idiot 2 griped.

"Yeah, we're the strongest here, not that backwater slime." Idiot 1 whined.

"If you don't like it, why not change it? Not that it would matter…" Marcel's voice echoed through the library.

"Who's there?" Idiot 2 asked.

"Just an agent of change…If you really want to know, I'm not far…" Marcel said. The three followed the voice until they found Marcel, sitting at a table and not in a book fortress this time.

"How's a twerp like you an agent of change?" Idiot 3 asked.

"I took a chance and gained immense power...so why not you? What could go wrong…" Marcel mused, holding up a 'Polymerization' card. The three idiots looked at each other, and the one brain cell they all shared lit up.

"Yeah, what COULD go wrong?" Idiot 1 said.

Marcel threw the card behind him, and it became a full portal. "Just step through the portal and the power's all yours…"

Without hesitation the three idiots walked in. What could only be described as body horror occurred.