Chapter 2: Rogueport, Here We Come!

And so, Mario and his family went on a vacation to Rogueport. Little does Mario know that he will go on a quest to save the seven Chaos Emeralds. He will find allies along the way and twists and turns. He may eventually find a perfect girl that will treat him better than Peach does.

The Marios were on a boat cabin. Mario, Luigi, and Pauline were sitting on the bed.

MARIO: Mom, when do we get to Rogueport already?

LADY: Mario, you're gonna have to wait patient, dear.

PAULINE: Yeah, Mario.

MARIO: Nobody asked you, Pauline!

LUIGI: Nobody asked you, Mario!

MARIO: Ugh, Mom!

LADY: Will y'all stop fighting, already!?

JUMPMAN: I hope you three don't act this way while we're at Rogueport!

Later, when they were so close to Rogueport.

LUIGI: Mario, wake up. We're so close to Rogueport!

Mario quickly woke up and looked out the window.

MARIO: Oh finally! We're here!

Eventually the boat docked to Rogueport.

CAPTAIN: Alright, Marios, take care!

JUMPMAN: We will!

CAPTAIN: If you'll excuse me, I've got a date with peace!

The captain left to go find his motel room with the boat still docked.

JUMPMAN: Isn't this great, we get to have fun as a family!

MARIO: You said it, Dad! I actually got busy stuff going on here.

CHAUFFEUR: Hey, Marios! Need a ride?

JUMPMAN: Aah, the car I just rented!

CHAUFFEUR: Hop aboard! I'll get you folks to your motel!

MARIO: Thanks!

The Marios then hitched a ride on the car, they eventually made it to the motel.

CHAUFFEUR: Here's your car, Jumpman!

JUMPMAN: Why, thank you, kind sir.

CHAUFFEUR: No problem! Enjoy your vacation!

He went to his friend's car and his friend drove off with him.

JUMPMAN: This is it: Rogueport Motel! Let's go inside!

They went inside the motel to check in.

CLERK: Are you the Marios?

MARIO: Oh yes we are! And we're here for a room, please!

CLERK: Okay, let me see.

Just as the clerk was giving the Marios their room, Mario witnessed a girl Goomba being attacked by a gang.

GIRL GOOMBA: STAY AWAY FROM ME!!! YOU... FREAKING... FREAKAZOID!!!

LORD CRUMP: Not until you tell us where these freaking Chaos Emeralds are!

GIRL GOOMBA: I DON'T HAVE ANY CHAOS EMERALDS!!! NOW LEAVE ME ALONE!!!

LORD CRUMP: Buh! Buh! Buh huh huh! Boys! We're taking this girl to our fortress!

X-NAUT: As you command, Lord Crump. We're on it.

GIRL GOOMBA: Stop right now, you freakazoids! I'll call security!

SECURITY: Freeze, intruders!

LORD CRUMP: Crud! Let's get outta here!

Lord Crump and two X-Nauts flee'd out of the motel. They actually barged in because they were chasing that Girl Goomba who supposedly knew about the seven Chaos Emeralds.

GIRL GOOMBA: Thank you so much, sir.

SECURITY: No problem. You're free to go.

GIRL GOOMBA: Thanks!

And with that, the Girl Goomba hurried back to her college dorm. Mario suddenly fell in love with her.

JUMPMAN: Alright, c'mon, Mario!

They finally made it to their rooms.

LUIGI: What should we do first?

PAULINE: I don't know, Luigi. Hey, Mario, why were you staring at that Goomba?

MARIO: I... uh... I...

LUIGI: You got a thing for her, don't ya?

MARIO: Hey, Dad, I'm gonna go somewhere.

JUMPMAN: Already? But we just got here, son?

LUIGI: He's looking for love at first sight!

MARIO: Luigi, shut up!

LADY: Hey, don't say "shut up" to your brother!

PAULINE: Mom, Mario just stared at that Goomba who got attacked earlier.

LADY: Really?

MARIO: Oh, here we go.

JUMPMAN: You like that Goomba, Sonny Bono?

MARIO: Look, I just felt bad for her, and plus, it's kinda impossible for humans and goombas to fall in love or get married.

JUMPMAN: Okay?

MARIO: Do you mind if I go somewhere, like, explore the motel.

JUMPMAN: Well, get back here before midnight, okay?

MARIO: Okie dokie, Da-da!

And so, Mario decided to explore the motel. He was suddenly stopped by a grumpy old Toadette named Zess T..

ZESS T.: FREEZE!!! You two! Not another step! Don't come this way!!!

MARIO: Sorry ma'am, but, it's just me. Also, what's going on?

ZESS T.: Some complete JERK just bumped into me and made me lose a contact lens! I'm looking for it right now, so DON'T YOU DARE MOVE!!!

MARIO: But I need to...

ZESS T.: You hear me? Whatever you do, do NOT move an INCH! NOT AN INCH, YOU HEAR?!?

Mario then tried to tip toe away but he ended up killing her contact lens.

CONTACT LENS: Squitch!

ZESS T.: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!! IDIOT! You stepped on it!!! My poor contact lens!!! I told you NOT TO MOVE!!!!! Don't your stupid ears work? Wha were you thinking?!?

MARIO: Look, I'm so sorry, but I need to move at some point!

ZESS T.: This is your fault! Now I have to buy a new contact lens! But YOU'RE gonna pay for it! Compensate me, Mr. Clumsy!

MARIO: What?!? I'm not paying for your stupid contact lens, ya crazy woman!!!

ZESS T.: Fine! If that's your plan, then here's MINE, you oaf! I'm gonna call the cops and accuse you of stealing my contact lens!

MARIO: Ugh! Fine! I'll pay for your stupid contact lens! Sheesh!

ZESS T.: Now, that is more like it!

Mario then left the motel and went to some nearby store.

MANAGER: So, you're saying you wanna buy contact lens's, is that correct?

MARIO: Some crazy lady was expecting me to pay for her contact lens all because I accidentally stepped on her old ones.

MANAGER: I don't blame ya, Mayro. My wife wears contact lens, and this one time I accidentally knocked them on the floor, and boy was she ticked!

MARIO: Dang, that must've been rough.

MANAGER: Yeah, it sure is. Now let me see if I can find any contact lens.

He went and checked to see if there are any contact lens's available in this store, but no luck.

MANAGER: Sorry, Mayro, but we don't have any in stock right now. I can special order one, but it's gonna have to take a while, so check back soon, alright.

MARIO: Okie dokie!

MANAGER: And take care!

Mario then left the store and headed to the college where Professor Frankly is. He was about to go inside until he was stopped by Gus, a member of the Robbos Gang.

GUS: Hold it, mustache man! If you wanna go through here, you have to pay a toll every time you wanna go in this college dorm.

MARIO: Well, I was actually gonna visit Professor Frankly.

GUS: Alright, pay 'er up! Hand me your money!

MARIO: I'm not paying for this! I've got my Ultra Hammer!

GUS: Ah, so you wanna fight, huh. Alright, you're gonna regret this, Fatty!

Gus then charged at Mario with his spear, but he dodged it and whacked Gus with his hammer.

GUS: CRAP! You dumb video-game heroes ALWAYS pull this stuff! It's RIDICULOUS! You think violence solves everything, don't you? Huh? DON'T YOU?!?

And with that, he ran away fake crying. Mario then proceeded to the college.

To Be Continued

P.S.: This chapter is kinda based on the Skipping Goombella glitch where you just moon jump to the door without ever fighting Lord Crump.