Susano-o: What were the Yugioh writers on when they made the filler duelists? They're always so strange.
Sekhmet: Why do you think we cut out all the filler duels and saved them for the tournament? Anything goes in one of these.
Susano-o: And we'll be bringing back some old favorites from the first season.
Sekhmet: True that. As much as I don't like reusing filler characters, some of them got enough support to merit a reduel, so there's that.
Susano-o: Where is the rest of my Mokey-Mokey Support Konami?! ONE CARD IS NOT ENOUGH!
Sekhmet: Some of them need complete retools, but enough about that. Let's get started.
Chapter 74: MONKEYYYYYYYY VS DUELLLLLLLLIST!
"Look if we're gonna play poker then we all need to stop cheating," Jesse said looking around at the table.
"I don't know what you're talking about," Rose said, crossing her arms. "I don't know about the others but I never cheat."
"That's a lie and you know it Rose," Jim insisted. "Don't worry Jesse, you can trust me, unlike the rest of them I'm not a scumbag."
"I don't cheat, I'm just naturally lucky," Axel shrugged.
"..." Chazz said, looking around at everyone's cards.
"Look," Jesse sighed. "I know all of us are cheating, because there's no way we all got four aces."
The table went quiet before a pair of UNO cards were set down in the center.
"Yahtzee!" Syrus said excitedly, trying to take the chips only to have Axel slap his hand away.
"Oh darling…" Yuko sighed, trying not to sound patronizing but failing. Before she could elaborate, everyone's PDAs rang at once.
"Oh no not again," was the collective thought as they carefully opened their PDAs.
"Attention student's please report to the main auditorium at once," Crowler's voice droned before turning off.
"Huh, wonder what it is this time." Yuko asked, putting her PDA away.
"Maybe we're getting some new students from the South-West Academy," Hassleberry proposed. "I heard they duel on self-propelled vehicles."
"What, they have intermediate direction campuses now? How many branches does one school need?" Yuko asked.
"What are self-propelled vehicles and what did you put it like that?" Chazz asked.
"Stuff like skateboards and bikes, and what else would you call them?" Hassleberry asked back.
"Can you two stop playing semantics?" Axel snapped. "It's annoying."
"But semantics is fun!" Syrus said. "You should play more."
"Come on guys," Rose sighed. "Let's get a seat."
Everyone looked around in shock that they were now at the arena entrance. "When did we get here?" Jesse asked in shock.
"About two seconds ago," Rose answered. "Shadows are powerful things."
"...not gonna question that," Jim said.
"Best not," Yubel said from behind the group, making them jump and Axel cold-cock them. "Oh baby yes," Yubel moaned as Axel's fist barely moved their head.
"Gross," Axel said, pulling his fist away.
"I'm a masochist, you know this," Yubel said back.
"Oh look, there's a section where we can all sit together." Yuko said, pointing to a bare patch in the stands. "It's almost like no one wants to be near us."
"That's not true," Rose said sitting down at the edge of the open area, which quickly moved over to create a bigger gap. "...Are we the bad guys?"
"No, you're not the bad guys, we just remember what happened the last time there was an announcement." Brandon said from somewhere in the crowd.
"...You know what, I can't even blame you," Rose agreed.
"No one could," Alexis said sitting next to Rose. "Hey guys."
"Howdy, so any idea what this whole hullabaloo is about?" Hassleberry asked.
"Nope, Crowler's being secretive," Alexis shrugged. "Had to guess, a school tournament."
"What makes you think that?" Chazz asked.
"He said something before about making this year more fun considering what happened the last two semesters," Alexis explained. "A tournament seems like the best way to make up for everything."
"Ooh, sounds like fun!" Yubel cheered. "Going to be a lot of pain!"
"...Ok then," Hassleberry said, nervously.
"Attention students!" Crowler yelled from the center of the arena. "Now that you're all here I have an announcement to make!"
"Here we go," Rose said, crossing her fingers excitedly.
"This semester this school will be host to a one and only event, the Kaiba Corp. Genex Tournament!"
This announcement made the stadium erupt in a roar of excitement and cheers, finally happy for something normal to be happening.
"You will all have one week to prepare, then the entire island will be filled with duelists across the globe, all battling to get a spot in the final televised tournament," Crowler explained. "And here's how it will work," He said, turning towards the jumbotron. "Each of you will be given a GX medal," He explained as the screen displayed the medal. "When a duel is engaged both duelists will wager their medals the winner gets to keep them," He said. "The tournament will go on until only twenty-four duelists remain, then the finals will be held in the newly constructed Kaiba Corp. Mega Stadium!"
The cheers reached deafening levels as multiple teachers came out carrying medals. "Everyone please line up in an orderly fashion!" He chuckled.
"Everyone out of the way!" Rose yelled, jumping the railing. "Everyman, woman, and Chazz for themselves!"
"I resemble that remark!" Chazz shouted, jumping the railing too. "The King of Trashland is next!"
"Or just charge the arena that works too," Crowler deadpanned, throwing up his hands. "You know my well laid out plans, just forget about them."
….
"Aww man this is great!" Rose said excitedly, holding up her medal. "I can't wait for this to heat up!"
"I actually haven't been in a tournament since I started school. Not only are we finally getting to do something normal, but it's something I actually enjoy!" Yuko said. "And now that no one gives a shit about who I am and haven't since first year, I can go all out without worry."
"It will be a good opportunity to show off how much we have learned," Bastion agreed.
"..."
"..."
"..."
"...What did we learn?" Syrus asked, scratching his head.
"Ah…well," Bastion stumbled trying to think of something. "Well, we learned how to….umm no we already knew that…." He mumbled.
"Let's move on before the questioning of and educational system that exclusively teaches us how to play a card game we all know from childhood how to play breaks something and we have to go to real school," Alexis said, steering the conversation back on topic. "I'll be seeing you guys later, I have deck building to do and if we're all together no one will challenge us," She said walking away with a wave over her shoulder.
"I agree with Alexis," Bastion said, nodding. "To maximize my chances of success I will have to separate from you two, as such I will see you in the finals."
"Wow just kill the fun why don't you two," Rose deadpanned.
"We'll to be fair, we can't lump together, that'll ward off challengers." Yuko said. "THAT would kill the fun. But we'll probably stick together, right dear?" Yuko looked to Syrus expectantly.
"Actually, I've been meaning to talk to you about that. Yuko, I'm doing this on my own. We're rivals now, and I'm gonna prove to you that I'm a good duelist all on my own!" Syrus said, becoming more and more triumphant as he went on.
"Ok. Rivals it is." Yuko said, surprised but still chipper.
"No, you don't understand. You're my rival now, my bitter rival! And I'm gonna prove I can beat you in the finals!" Syrus insisted.
"Yeah, I understand. We're rivals now, enemies fated to meet again." Yuko said.
Syrus scrunched up. "Fine! I'll see you in the finals, rival!" With that, he stomped off down the path.
"Bye dear, see you in the finals too!" Yuko waved.
"Well shit that happened," Rose sighed. "So what about you two…" She said turning to Chazz and Hassleberry to see they were already gone. "And then there were two," She mumbled. "Whelp, I guess we'll see everyone at the finals."
…. (One Week Later)
"Alright!" Crowler yelled over the intercom. "Let the tournament begin!"
The entire island let out a cheer as duels started across the landscape, medals were being exchanged, and Crowler was watching it all with a glass of champagne.
"Alrighty then," Hassleberry said, cracking his knuckles. "Time to find my first duel!" He yelled, getting pumped.
Marching out of his room he took off in a trot towards the campus center, passing multiple duels in progress but finding no one who was willing to take his challenge.
"Well sam hill this is a pickle," He mumbled crossing his arms. "If I don't find a duel soon I may be out of the tournament before it even starts."
As Hassleberry pondered this conundrum he was unaware of a woman in a dress walking up behind him.
"Hey muscles!" The woman yelled in a thick valley girl accent.
"Huh what!?" Hassleberry jumped and turned around. "Oh, howdy Princess," He said, waving.
"Howdy," Princess Rose replied giggling. "You like talk funny Mr. Texas," She laughed.
"Well so do you Miss. California," Hassleberry said back.
"Oh sounds like someone wants a duel," Princess said, holding out her duel disk.
"You're on!" Hassleberry said. 'But before he could activate his and start the duel, something came out of the bush lighting quick and grabbed Princess.
"Hey what the-!?" Princess yelled as the mystery figure hoisted her above its head. "Let me go you Noid!"
"What are you doin'?" Hassleberry yelled, sprinting at the two. "Let her go!"
"Yeah what he said!" Princess screamed. The figure took off running with the Princess above its head.
"Ah dang it!" Hassleberry yelled, taking off running after the two.
….
"I don't put out on the first date!" Princess yelled trying to get free. "You are such a dweebazoid!"
The figure didn't answer until finally they reached the edge of the island and the tree where Syrus had been held by hostage Axel.
….
Axel, despite the heat from his monsters, shivered as a feeling of horrible deja-vu washed over him. "Wonder what that was," He mumbled drawing his next card.
….
"Let her go now," Hassleberry said slowly.
The figure set Princess down and turned to Hasselberry, revealing itself to be a monkey with a metal helmet, backpack, a dueling disk, and a Genex Medal.
"...Are you serious," Hassleberry said, annoyed.
"A monkey, really?!" Princess yelled angrily.
"Yes," An older man said walking out of the woods flanked by two guards with tranquilizer guns. "A super learning monkey, we call him Wheeler."
"And why is he here?" Hassleberry asked. "And why did he kidnap Princess?"
"He escaped and fled to this island on one of the ships," The old man explained. "And for the kidnapping, he's using her as a human shield."
"Oh I wonder why would he do that?" Hassleberry snarled. "Maybe because you're waving guns around."
"You don't know anything boy," The old man snarled. "Now leave us alone to retrieve him."
"Woah wait a minute you geekwads!" Princess screamed. "I'm not about to go for a swim just because you want to do some monkey business!"
"Yeah!" Hassleberry snapped. "There has to be another way," He said, looking between everyone before he noticed the duel disk Wheeler was wearing. "Hold on a minute, he can duel?"
"Yes," The man said. "Higher primates are more connected to duel monster spirits than humans, we poked and prodded him till he was able to duel as well as any human."
Hassleberry snarled at that. "Alright," He said, turning to Wheeler. "Then let's duel monkey," He said, activating his duel disk.
Wheeler screeched and then to Hassleberry's shock the helmet started speaking. "Duel! Duel!" It screeched as Wheeler activated his disk.
"Well that's a new one," Hassleberry mumbled, drawing his first card. "My turn and I'm starting out by playing the 'Lost World' field spell!" Hassleberry declared as a primitive jungle sprang up around him. "Now all non-dinosaur monsters loose 500 attack and defense and I can destroy other dinosaur monsters to protect my normal monsters, and that's gonna come in real handy when I summon my 'Rescue Rabbit' (300-0/100-0) and then send him to the grave to special summon two 'Megalosmasher X's' (2000/0)!" Two giant mosasaurus appeared on the field roaring loudly.
"I set a card and end my turn, now normally my monsters would be destroyed, but instead I'll destroy two dinosaurs in my back line instead, so goodbye 'Babycerasaurus' and 'Petiteranodon'," He said, sending the two to the grave. 'Now things get interesting, I can now use their effects to summon two level 4 or lower dino's from my deck, like my 'Souleating Oviraptor' (1800/500) and 'Black Brachios' (1800/1100)," The two dinosaurs joined the field with roars. "And finally we get to 'Lost World's' last effect, I summon a 'Jurraegg Token' (0/0) in defense mode to your field Wheeler, then 'Oviraptor's' effect goes off, letting me send a dino from the deck to my grave, then destroy one on the field, like your '"Jurraegg Token' and finally I can special summon a dino from my grave, like my last 'Megalosmasher X's' (2000/0)!"
"Wow what a turn," Princess said blushing slightly.
"Draw! Draw!" Wheeler yelled as he drew his first card. "I summon 'Berserk Gorilla' (2000-1500/1000-500) activate 'Wild Natures Release' 'Berserk Gorilla' power up power up (1500-2000/500) attack 'Black Brachios'!" The gorilla roared and attacked 'Brachios' destroying it (Hassleberry LP: 8000-7800), end turn! End turn!"
"...Are you serious," Hassleberry deadpanned. "That's all he's going to do," He looked at the old man confused.
"Don't be so cocky, Wheeler knows exactly how to duel," The old man responded.
"Doesn't mean he's good at it," Princess mumbled.
"I think you're going senile old timer," Hassleberry said, drawing his next card. "It's my move and I activate my facedown 'Survival's End', destroying my three 'Megalosmasher X' and summoning 'Tyranno Infinity' (?/0), 'Miscellaneousaurus' (1800/1000), and 'Black Veloci' (1800/300) next I'll tribute my 'Miscellaneousaurus' and 'Black Veloci' to summon 'Black Tyranno' (2600/1800)!"
A jet-black T-Rex came out of the forest and let out a roar loud enough to make even the other dinosaurs on the field cower. "And now for the king of the dinos to take the front line, I banish two 'Megalosmasher's' to summon 'Ultimate Conductor Tyranno' (3500/3200)!"
The forest shook again this time accompanied by purple lighting lighting up the sky as a dinosaur that dwarfed 'Black Tyranno' walked out, each step sending bone rattling tremors down the audience's spines.
"Now I'm gonna end this, by banishing 'Miscellaneousaurus' I can banish any number of dinos from my grave, and right now I count five, which combined with 'Miscellaneousaurus' and the two I sent before means I have a grand total of eight, which means 'Tyranno Infinity' gains 8000 attack!" (Tyranno Infinity ?-8000/0).
"You know I'm like pretty sure this is why we don't teach animals to duel," Princess said looking at this situation. "They like, don't understand strategy."
"Wheeler's got this right where he wants it," The old man said, nodding.
Princess sighed. "Yeah, this grommet is senile."
"'Tyranno Infinity attack," Hasselberry yelled. 'Infinities' horns glowed rainbow as they charged up with energy, with a thunderous roar it charged Wheeler and slammed into him (Wheeler LP: 8000-0). "Well that was….anticlimactic," Hasselberry mumbled.
Wheeler dropped to the ground screaming in despair.
"Yes, this is perfect, Wheeler's going to win this," The old man nodded. His two assistants looked at him and then looked at Wheeler, before taking his arm and walking away.
Hassleberry sighed and walked over to Wheeler, helping him out of the equipment. "There, go free little buddy," He said, taking the monkey's Genex medal as well. Wheeler screeched then ran into the woods with the rest of the monkeys.
"Well that was a weird twenty minutes," Princess said as Hassleberry helped her back onto land. "So, you wanna go grab lunch?"
"Yeah, I'd like that." Hassleberry replied.
…
"I got a medal!" Rose said happily.
"I got a medal!" Yuko cheered.
"I got a joint," Belowski cheered. "Wanna hit it with me?"
"Hell yes," Rose said.
"I'll pass for duel clarity, but DEFINITELY later." Yuko said.
"Loser," Rose laughed. "This is so much better than last year, nothing could go wrong!"