Uninspired Voyages

A Star Trek: Voyager fanfiction by Andrew J. Talon

DISCLAIMER: This is a non-profit fan based work of prose. Star Trek: Voyager, Deep Space Nine, The Next Generation et al are the property of CBS Television, Para creation of Gene Roddenberry. Please support the official release.

Just another flashback to Shepherd's teenaged years...

Shepherd met Wesley the week after in the mall. They were near the holographic fountain set up, as wasting real water was seen as an extravagance. Shepherd just looked at the forlorn looking nerd and frowned.

"Hey, what's wrong Wesley?" He asked. Wesley sighed heavily, his shoulders drooping.

"Captain Picard yelled at me for accidentally hitting him with a snowball from the holodeck," Wesley admitted. He shook his head. "I really don't get him, ya know? He let me be on the bridge, even sit in the captain's chair once... And then he yelled at me for telling him there was a ship approaching!"

"Geez," Shepherd said, "that's rough."

"I mean, he was my dad's best friend," Wesley said, "but I haven't seen him since I was a kid! If he was my dad's best friend, why is he treating me like this?"

"I don't know," Shepherd admitted, "maybe he's just a douchebag."

Wesley shook his head.

"Come on... He is a Starfleet captain," he said, "and a hero!"

"Yeah, doesn't mean he can't be a douchebag," Shepherd said with a shrug. "We're all just humans, after all. Or, well... Ya know what I mean," he said, watching a cute Vulcan girl walk by. Wesley leaned in front of Shepherd, blocking his view.

"I'm serious! I don't know what I did wrong!" Wesley insisted. Shepherd held up his hands.

"All right, all right," Shepherd sighed, "look, if it's such a big deal to you, why don't you just go, I dunno, talk to him? Ask him about your dad or something."

Wesley gaped.

"I-I couldn't do that!" He insisted. "I mean, where would I start?!"

"'Hey, you knew my dad, can you tell me about him?'" Shepherd quipped. Wesley shook his head even more rapidly.

"It-It isn't that simple!" He cried.

Shepherd sighed and leaned back on the bench.

"Well then, I'm out of ideas," he said.

Wesley pouted.

"Literally the only times he's ever paid me any attention is when there's a crisis," he sulked. Shepherd rolled his eyes.

"All right, all right," he said, "you want the captain's attention so badly? I'll show you how to do it."

Wesley blinked.

"You will?" He asked. Shepherd nodded.

"Sure! I know lots of ways to get people's attention," he said with a grin and a wink.

The morning shift had not started promisingly for Captain Jean Luc Picard, of the Federation starship Enterprise. The temperature controls in his quarters had been set incredibly low: He'd woken up to his breath forming a cloud in front of his face. When he'd changed the controls and gotten into the sonic shower, he had been splattered with raspberry pudding. Once he'd fixed that, he'd found all of his uniforms had been shrunk by one size. And to cap it all off, his replicated breakfast had been set on "burnt". Even his tea, Earl Grey, hot!

The greatest indignity had to have been the door though. The moment he had stepped out, already in a foul mood and ready to lay into whoever was pulling this nonsense on him...!

He came face to face with a teenaged boy in old fashioned clothing. Standing on a small step ladder. Trying to put a bucket of water over the door to his quarters.

Picard stared at him. The boy stared back.

The boy immediately dumped the bucket of water over Picard's head, and as Picard staggered backwards in shock, cursing loudly in French, the boy was running down the corridor.

Picard got the bucket off his head, blinked through the water, and slapped his commbadge.

"SECURITY!"

Wesley watched in increasing horror and some amusement as he tracked Shepherd's progress via the ship's camera network. He was observing from his quarters via a PADD, which tracked Shepherd's route through the ship as security chased him down.

First, Shepherd ducked into the mall section and criss crossed through the shops, then climbed up to the second level and took off in a completely different direction, leaving the security officers in the dust.

Next, he'd taken a turbolift to Main Engineering. That had seemed to have been a serious mistake, as the turbolift was stopped at Main Engineering and greeted by three security officers... Who found nothing inside.

Shepherd had gotten into the turbolift shaft and into a Jefferies tube, and had lost the security people in the winding maze of utility tunnels. He had finally popped up back in the saucer section, and dashed for the main shuttlebay.

He reached it, but Tasha and Worf were already there. The big Klingon chased the teenaged boy around the shuttles, into the maintenance bay, and back out into the main corridors. Tasha had tried to keep up, but Shepherd had managed to trap her in a shuttle, cackling merrily the whole time. He almost made it to the arboretum... When Shepherd Senior, his father, had grabbed him around a corner. The young Shepherd was hauled off to the captain's ready room, and Wesley got the view of a fly on the wall as Captain Picard tore into the young boy.

"What could have possibly possessed you to act so irresponsibly?!" Picard practically bellowed, his bald face red. Shepherd Junior shrugged, utterly non-chalant.

"I dunno, what possessed you to have such lousy security?" The teenaged boy shot back. Picard glared, his face an icy mask. Shepherd Junior brazenly continued.

"I mean, I managed to get in and reprogram everything in your quarters inside of ten minutes," the boy went on, "if I was a shapeshifter or something, I could have killed or replaced you. And I'm a teenaged boy."

"Certainly not an ordinary teenaged boy,"

Tasha grumbled. Shepherd Junior beamed.

"Thanks Ma'am!"

"So this entire exercise was just to show how inadequate our security is?" Picard asked, still angry but a bit more focused. Shepherd Junior nodded.

"Eeyup! I mean, it's not going to do much good if some kid can accidentally kill the command crew with the wrong button pushed, right? Right," he said. "Even Wesley, dork extraordinaire, is able to hack into the security camera network."

Wesley gaped. Shepherd Junior looked up at the camera and winked. Picard glanced up at it, eyes widening.

"So yeah," Shepherd said, "it's probably for the best that we did this instead of some alien invader."

"I see,"

Picard stated in a flat, angry tone, "it seems I'm going to have to have words with Mister Crusher as well."

"Well, he is the son of your best friend,"

Shepherd Junior pointed out, "might be nice to not just ignore or yell at him. The poor dope doesn't know much about his father, and you're the only source onboard to tell him about it. I'm just saying, maybe you should stop being such a grouch and try to connect with him."

Picard stared in astonishment. Wesley already wanted to find the nearest escape pod.

"Son," Shepherd Senior, squeezing his shoulder, "maybe you should quit while you're ahead?"

"Ugh, fine," Shepherd Junior sighed, "I'm sorry I made the captain and security forces of the flagship look like dopes. I thought you'd have caught me within an hour. I'll accept my punishment. Is that sufficient?"

Picard glared at the young man.

"... For now," he said. He looked at Shepherd Senior and Tasha Yar. "In the meantime... A comprehensive review of our security measures seems in order, wouldn't you agree?"

"Aye sir,"

Tasha said, looking sheepish.

"I can handle his punishment, sir," Shepherd Senior said. Picard nodded.

"Very well... Try to keep him out of trouble," he said.

Shepherd Junior stuck his tongue out at Picard the moment he wasn't looking, as his father led him out of the ready room. He then looked up at a camera and grinned with a thumbs up.

"Mister Crusher," Picard's voice called over the intercomm in his quarters, "report to my ready room."

Wesley gulped. Well... It had been a short life. But it wasn't all bad, right?

If he could have changed one thing... It would be meeting Shepherd Junior.

Wesley stuck his head into the ready room, and crept in. Picard was sitting in his chair, staring out at the stars. He glanced over, and nodded at Wesley.

"Sit," he said. Wesley trembled a bit, but managed to sit down in the chair in front of the captain's desk. Picard turned and looked at Wesley,

"... It seems an apology may be in order," Picard began, "for... Any perceived mistreatment. That was not my intention."

"I... No, it's okay," Wesley said quickly, "I understand-"

"I don't think you do," Picard said, quietly but firmly. He exhaled. "It's... Never been easy to talk about things like this. Not for me. Your father was a good man. My best friend. And I shouldn't do wrong by you. It would be to do wrong by him."

Picard did give Wesley an exasperated look.

"You didn't have to have Shepherd do all that to get my attention though," he stated.

Wesley shrugged.

"It... Was his idea, actually," he said.

He'd have to figure out a way to thank him. Sure, his method was crazy and chaotic but... It had worked.

"Indeed," Picard muttered. He shook his head. "I hope he's gotten it out of his system."

"Uh, yeah," Wesley said with a nod and a wince.

"So," Picard began, looking awkward, but trying, "where would you like to start?"

Wesley allowed himself a smile.

Afterwards... In the mall, Shepherd and Wesley sat on their bench. Wesley couldn't help his smile. It had been long and sometimes difficult, but talking with the captain about his father had been worth it. Wesley looked over at his... His friend.

"So... Well," Wesley started. He thought about it, and decided on the simplest expression of gratitude. "Thanks."

"Don't mention it!" Shepherd said cheerfully.

"So," Wesley began, "does that mean you're done pranking?"

There was an explosion in one of the mall shops, and a wave of suds erupted out of it. A soap covered form pushed his way through the wall of bubbles, coughing furiously. His identity was soon made clear as his bald head and red uniform were revealed.

"SHEPHHHHEERRRRRRDDDD!" Picard roared in fury.

Wesley looked back over. Shepherd, like magic or a transporter, had vanished. Wesley sighed and shook his head.

"Guess that answers that question..."