Chapter 1

Even for early morning, the bridge was unusually quiet despite the constant hum of the ship engines and bleeps from various stations as they operated. Not a single planet, comet, ship, signal, nebula, Borg cube, or Q had caught the crew's attention for over a week. Normally, Chakotay would simply be grateful for the break, but right now, he just wanted to do something exciting or, at the very least, useful.

He hadn't commented when Kathryn came unto the bridge five minutes late rather than fifteen early like she usually did. After all, with nothing important going on, a few minutes didn't really matter that much. But he had to admit that he was worried as he saw her gazing unseeingly at the viewscreen, clearly distracted from the PADD she was supposedly reviewing, and then letting her mug of coffee slip from her hand.

They both jumped up when the mug hit the side of the chair with a clatter and bounced to the floor with a splash. She wore a look of unveiled shock, while he had one of only slightly masked concern.

"I'll…have that…taken care of…" she offered uncertainly. She was staring at the puddle of dark liquid as if she could see something in it staring back at her while it seeped into the hard carpet.

"Kathryn," he ventured, taking a step towards her. "Are you okay?" Clearly, she was not, but considering that he didn't know what else to say, it would have to do.

She tore her gaze off the shrinking puddle, and it seemed as if she would brush the incident off with her characteristic, I'm fine. But then she glanced around the bridge, taking in the officers who were trying just a little too hard not to pay any mind to what had just happened. (In fact, if Tom Paris were a cat, Chakotay could almost imagine his ears angling backwards to hear them better.) At length, Kathryn instead replied quietly, "Actually, Commander, if you could get someone to help with that, I think I'll go to Sickbay. You have the bridge."

With that, she left, and he felt his stomach drop just a few more notches. One look at Tuvok let him know the Vulcan was equally perplexed.

Maybe this was something confidential, and he shouldn't interfere. The Doctor was capable enough to handle it. But maybe it was something serious, and as her friend, he couldn't allow her to face it alone. Perhaps the stillness of the last week was getting to her, just like in the Void. The distant, empty, confused look in her eyes flashed across his memory again, and it solidified his decision. He called up someone to clean the coffee stain, and then he headed for the turbolift.

"Tuvok," he ordered on his way out, "the bridge is yours." The Vulcan nodded in acknowledgement of the command and silent approval of Chakotay's decision to follow the captain.

The turbolift doors opened, and stepping inside, he called for Sickbay.

When he arrived, he slowed his pace, seeing no one inside. "Hello?" he asked, scanning the main area.

"Please state the nature of the medical emergency," the Doctor offered humorously, stepping out of his office.

"I'm looking for the Captain," Chakotay answered.

"I'm sorry to disappoint you, then, Commander. The Captain hasn't been here," the Doctor replied.

Chakotay shook his head in confusion. "That's strange. She didn't look well on the bridge, and she said she'd be coming here," he mused. Louder, he ordered, "Computer, locate Captain Janeway."

"Captain Janeway is in her quarters," the monotone voice of the computer stated promptly.

The Doctor said, "I suppose that settles it. However, if the Captain does need medical assistance, then I trust you will bring her here?"

"Yes, of course. Thank you, Doctor," Chakotay answered, already halfway to the door.

He sincerely hoped she wasn't secluding herself again. The Void had been bad enough. He had watched her become withdrawn and depressed, avoiding all human contact and rebuffing his attempts to reach out to her. It had hurt him, but he hadn't seen how much the weight of her command really burdened her until then. He hadn't realized how angry she was with herself, how terrified she was of making more mistakes, and how hollowed out by grief she was inside. He hadn't seen her heart dying within her until that Void, and after seeing it, he was determined that she would not go through anything like it again.

His steps hastened him towards her door, and he rang the chime. There was no answer. He waited for a few minutes and then rang again. With no answer the second time, he input his override code, and the door slid open. Hesitantly, he stepped over the threshold but no further. The impeccable room was dark aside from the running lights.

"Kathryn?" he called. There was no answer.

He scanned the room again, and it was then that he spotted her badge abandoned on the table by the couch. That would explain why the computer thought she was in here when she wasn't. He hadn't noticed she wasn't wearing it this morning.

He sighed and left, wondering where she could have gone.

The day was going on as normal, and the corridors were starting to fill with more crew members as he made his way to the mess hall. Perhaps Neelix had seen Kathryn or would have a better idea of where to look.

"Good morning, Commander," Neelix greeted him with a smile. "What can I get for you?"

"Actually, I was wondering if you'd seen the Captain?" Chakotay asked.

Neelix replied, "Not this morning."

"Any idea where she might be?" Chakotay pressed.

"Can't you ask the computer?" Neelix questioned. He began, "Computer…"

"I already tried that," Chakotay interrupted him. "Her badge is in her quarters; she's not."

"Hmm," Neelix thought hard for a moment. "Could you try the ready-room?" he said.

"I guess so," Chakotay replied. "Thanks, Neelix."

On his way back up to the bridge, he ran into Seven.

"Have you, by any chance, seen the Captain?" he asked hopefully.

"No, but she is in Astrometrics," Seven replied.

"Thanks," he answered. "By the way, how did you know?"

"I had an appointment to speak with her this morning about the latest long-range scans. She was not on the bridge, so I waited. Then, I asked the computer for her location by biosignature," Seven answered succinctly. "I believe that she may have gone there to find me instead."

Chakotay kicked himself mentally for not thinking of searching for Kathryn's unique biosignature. "Mind if I join you?"

"No, Commander."

"Thank you."

They walked the rest of the way to Astrometrics in light conversation. Seven explained to him what spatial entities the sensors had picked up and which ones might be interesting to investigate. Chakotay began to relax slightly. Maybe Seven was right, and Kathryn had simply remembered their appointment on her way to Sickbay and thus gone looking for Seven instead. It would fit her self-sacrificial personality. Duty always came first.

When the doors opened, his heart jumped right back into his throat. "Kathryn!" he exclaimed. She had collapsed in front of the large viewing screen. Chakotay and Seven both rushed over.

"Chakotay to the Doctor," he ordered quickly, hitting his badge just a little too hard. "Lock on to the Captain's biosignature and beam her directly to Sickbay!"

"Acknowledged," the Doctor's voice answered. Kathryn shimmered out of view.

"I'll be in Sickbay if you need me," Chakotay said hurriedly to Seven, and then he was out the door.