Uninspired Voyages
A Star Trek: Voyager fanfiction by Andrew J. Talon
DISCLAIMER: This is a non-profit fan based work of prose. Star Trek: Voyager, Deep Space Nine, The Next Generation et al are the property of CBS Television, Para creation of Gene Roddenberry. Please support the official release.
Another flashback to Shepherd Jr's TNG days...
"Mister Shepherd. You're right on time."
"Counselor. Um, no offense. I know my parents arranged this but, why am I here?"
"Well, your parents were rather concerned about your recent... antics. Starships aren't exactly a place where..."
"Starships are not a place for kids. Ma'am."
"I'm sorry?"
"I haven't attended Starfleet. I'm not trained to deal with the crazy stuff that seems to happen on a weekly basis here. Mom and Dad are, but they're also living legends that live up to the legend. What am I going to do come Tuesday when this ship becomes a deathtrap for all of us again? I'm going to be hunkering down in quarters and hoping Wesley pulls something out of his ass to save us. I'm amazed he hasn't gone batshit power-mad like when he and everyone else got drunk on polywater. WATER AND GRAVITY DO NOT WORK THAT WAY."
"You seem rather upset."
"Brilliant deduction there, Sherlock! It's almost as if you can read my mind or something! Not to mention that I'm a typical red-blooded teenager with all the raging hormones and that non-regulation uniform of yours is REALLY making me want to take a cold sonic shower. Are we done?"
"Um. Yes."
"Thank you, Counselor."
The next session, Shepherd arrived and immediately laid down on the couch, staring up the ceiling. Troi sat opposite him, concerned over his silence.
"Shepherd? Are you all right?"
"I had a horrible nightmare where I became a freaking know it all that space pedophiles lusted after," Shepherd said, "then I realized, I was Wesley!" He shuddered. Troi held back a sigh, before hitting on an idea.
"You talk about Wesley a great deal, you know. Why is that?"
Shepherd rolled his eyes mightily.
"He's literally the only other teenager on this deathtrap who doesn't just up and leave after a few months! Oh, and yeah, he's endangered and saved the ship several times! Why shouldn't he be a discussion topic?!" He scowled up at the ceiling. "What, you gonna tell me I have repressed homosexual desires for him or something?!"
"Nothing of the sort," Troi said soothingly, "your feelings of lust towards me are far too strong to be mere confusion."
"Thanks for that. Also, how can you say that so casually?!" Shepherd threw his arms up.
"Given your own flippancy?" Troi responded. Shepherd lowered his arms and then crossed them over his chest.
"Now," Troi resumed, "what do you actually feel towards Wesley?"
Shepherd grumbled.
"I dunno... Lots of things. He gets away with stuff I can't, for instance."
"Wesley doesn't lead the security teams on merry chases on a weekly basis," Troi pointed out, "after sticking a 'Kick me I have no Honor' sign on Worf's back."
"I will admit, that was a slow day for me," Shepherd shrugged.
"But given you still 'hang out' with him, even enjoy his company, it can't simply be for prank potential," Troi pressed gently. Shepherd sighed.
"Like I said, we're the only two teenagers on this ship who don't just up and leave. And well..." Shepherd grumbled, "maybe I am a little... Protective of him."
"Protective?" Troi asked, "he is a year older than you."
"Yeah, and he's a freaking menace to himself," Shepherd insisted, "and everyone else! The guy has the common sense of a moth! He'd have gotten picked up by that space pedophile or that creep Okona or worse if I wasn't there to look after his dumb ass! I mean, I get into trouble intentionally but he causes it unintentionally! He doesn't know what he's doing! But because he's a genius and the son of the captain's dead best friend, he feels like he's gotta prove himself constantly!"
Shepherd sighed heavily.
"I mean, it's not like his mom is going to do the job! She's chief medical officer, and she doesn't punish him!" Shepherd shook his head. "Yeah being punished sucks, but after seeing how Wesley is, I understand why my mom and dad did it to me! I was a dumbass kid, I didn't know any better! A kid has to be trained to understand limits! And so Wesley doesn't know any better!"
Troi hummed.
"You feel responsible for him, then?"
Shepherd sighed.
"I guess I kind of do. I mean, I cause chaos and mayhem because I'm bored but I don't do stuff that would endanger the entire ship."
"The tractor beam gun and the baseball?" Troi prompted wryly. Shepherd winced.
"In fairness, Wesley was involved," Shepherd pointed out, "and that still means I'm like, 99 percent a prankster and not a terrorist."
"The captain could have chosen better language," Troi agreed.
"I think Picard's just uppity because Wesley's the son of his dead best friend and I'm some kind of corrupting influence on him. But I think if you try to make Wesley just like his dad... Then he'll be miserable! Because he's not! My parents don't want me to be exact copies of them! So why push Wesley into that?!"
He growled under his breath.
"It's not fair to the poor dope," he said.
"I will admit," Troi said, "adults can project their selfish desires onto children. Especially if they see a dead friend or lover in them. You see this, you feel it is wrong, and you want to do something about it. So why not tell them?"
Shepherd scoffed.
"Like they're gonna listen to me, a kid, telling them off," he said, "it's much easier to just let Wesley be a kid as long as he can."
Shepherd paused.
"Plus it's a lot funnier."
As part of Shepherd's training (read: probation), he would help fix common problems around the ship. And his next assignment was...
"You have a bathtub?!" Shepherd demanded, "seriously?!"
Troi shrugged.
"It was an option and I took it."
"I'm just saying, geez," Shepherd grumbled, examining the controls for the water, "maybe I should become a ship's counselor."
"It's much harder than it looks," Troi said with a smile.
"Must be," Shepherd muttered, as he examined his tricorder. "Okay, it says that the pressure regulator is reading an error... Type 391? I think that means it's clogged?"
Shepherd sighed and pointed a sonic screwdriver at the faucet.
"All right, let's just increase the water pressure and force it out. Whatever it is."
Troi frowned and leaned over to look more closely at the tricorder readouts. This coincidentally pressed her bosom against his shoulder, making his cheeks go red.
"Are you sure that's how you're supposed to fix it?" Troi asked, concerned. She blushed. "Ah, sorry for the closeness-"
"It's fine!" Shepherd squeaked, "but uh, I mean... You're not a plumber, so-"
"Neither are you," Troi pointed out. Shepherd grimaced.
"Just let me fix this so you can... Bathe or something," Shepherd muttered, his thoughts firmly on anything not to do with the attractive woman naked and in hot water. "And... There!"
The water exploded out of the faucet, hitting Shepherd in the face. He yelped and fell back, bumping into Troi and making her lose her balance. She collapsed on top of the teenager as the water continued to spray, soaking them both. Shepherd frantically waved his arms around as he was threatened with suffocation.
"AH! I'm sorry-!"
"MMNNNGGGHH!" Shepherd pushed her off his face and held the tricorder up to see the interface. He shut off the water, and groaned. Troi was essentially straddling his lap, looking mortified.
"Sorry Shepherd," Troi said, "I didn't mean-!"
"DEANNA!"
Both soaked people looked up to see Lwaxana Troi standing in the doorway to the bathroom. Deanna's face went pale as Shepherd gaped. The older Betazoid woman shook her head.
"Seducing a younger man?! Really?!"
"Mother it's not what you-!" Troi began, but Lwaxana laughed.
"Ah well! A few years difference is no big deal, especially if it gets me some grandchildren to spoil!" She beamed and waved her hands. "I won't interrupt! Ta!"
"No, this isn't-WE WEREN'T DOING ANYTHING!" Deanna shouted after her mother.
"Of course, of course!" Lwaxanna laughed back, waving her hand back as she left.
Shepherd sighed and covered his face with his hands.
Later, Troi tried to comfort the still mortified Shepherd Jr.
"It's perfectly natural to feel attraction to me, Shepherd!"
"Yes. It's still embarrassing!"
"If you want to talk embarrassing, you have any idea how many erotic holoprograms there are featuring me?"
"Unfortunately, yes. I've had to debug the holodeck files lots of times and five times out of ten, a program featuring you is causing problems!"
"Really? ... Am I with anyone else?"
"Seriously?!"
Troi shrugged.
"I'm Betazoid, we're used to these sorts of things."
Shepherd sighed.
"You and Doctor Crusher. You and Lieutenant Yar. You with both of them. The three of you with Lt. Commander Data..."
"With Data?"
"He's apparently fully functional and versed in a variety of techniques."
A little bit of New Year's fun. Enjoy!