6. I BECOME SUPREME LORD OF THE BATHROOM

Once I got over the fact that my Latin teacher was half horse, we had a nice tour.

We passed a volleyball pit. Several of the campers nudged each other. One pointed to the minotaur horn I was carrying and said, "That's him."

I looked back at the farmhouse. It was a lot bigger than I thought—four stories tall with sky blue with white trim. I was checking out the brass eagle weather vane on top when something caught my eye, a shadow in the uppermost window of the attic gable. Something had moved the curtain, just for a second, and I got the realised I was being watched.

"What's up there?" I asked Chiron.

He looked where I was pointing, and his smile faded. "Just the attic."

"Somebody lives there?"

"No," he said with finality. "Not a single living thing."

Well, that's not ominous at all.

"Come along, Percy," Chiron said, his light-hearted tone now forced. "Lots to see."

Chiron told me the camp grew crops for export to New York restaurants and Mount Olympus. "It pays our expenses," he explained. "And the strawberries take almost no effort."

He said Mr. D had this effect on fruit-bearing plants: they just went crazy when he was around. It worked best with wine grapes, but Mr. D was restricted from growing those, so they grew strawberries instead.

I watched the satyr playing his pipe. His music was causing lines of bugs to leave the strawberry patch in every direction. I wondered if Grover could work that kind of magic with music. I wondered if he was still inside the farmhouse, getting chewed out by Mr. D.

"Grover won't get in too much trouble right?" I asked Chiron. "He was a good protector.

Chiron sighed. "Grover has big dreams, Percy. Perhaps bigger than are reasonable. To reach his goal, he must first demonstrate great courage by succeeding as a keeper, finding a new camper and bringing him safely to Half-Blood Hill."

"But he did do that!"

"I might agree with you," Chiron said. "But it is not my place to judge. Dionysus and the Council of Cloven Elders must decide. I'm afraid they might not see this assignment as a success. After all, Grover lost you in New York. Then there's the unfortunate ... ah ... fate of your mother."

"He'll get a second chance, won't he?"

Chiron winced. "I'm afraid that was Grover's second chance, Percy. The council was not anxious to give him another, either, after what happened the first time, five years ago. Olympus knows, I advised him to wait longer before trying again. He's still so small for his age... ."

"How old is he?"

"Oh, twenty-eight."

"Say what now? How was he in the sixth grade then?"

"Satyrs mature half as fast as humans, Percy. Grover has been the equivalent of a middle school student for the past six years."

"That must suck" I shuddered. Puberty in general was quite an ordeal, same deal with double the time was just scary.

"Quite," Chiron agreed. "At any rate, Grover is a late bloomer, even by satyr standards, and not yet very accomplished at woodland magic. Alas, he was anxious to pursue his dream. Perhaps now he will find some other career….."

"That's not fair," I said. "I'm sure whatever happened the first time couldn't be that bad"

Chiron looked away quickly. "Let's move along to the woods now, shall we?"

As we got closer, I realized how huge the forest was. It took up at least a quarter of the valley, with trees so tall and thick, I felt like I was at the forest of death again.

Chiron said, "The woods are stocked, if you care to try your luck, but go armed."

"Do people go there often to train?" I asked.

"You'll see. Capture the flag is Friday night. Do you have your own sword and shield?"

"….I just got here sir"

"Fair enough" Chiron said. "I think a size five will do though. I'll visit the armoury later."

We saw the archery range, the canoeing lake, the stables (which Chiron didn't like very much), the javelin range, the amphitheatre, and the arena where Chiron said they held sword and spear fights.

"Only sword and spear fights? Do they ever hold fights with only hand-to-hand combat?" I asked.

"Sometimes" he said. "Not Usually. Oh, yes, and there's the mess hall."

Chiron pointed to an outdoor pavilion framed in white Grecian columns on a hill overlooking the sea. There were a dozen stone picnic tables. No roof. No walls.

"What if it rains?" I asked.

Chiron looked at me as if I'd gone a little weird. "We still have to eat, don't we?"

Keep your secrets I guess.

Finally, he showed me the cabins. They were arranged in a U, with two at the base and five in a row on either side. And they were without doubt the most bizarre collection of buildings I'd ever seen.

Except for the fact that each had a large brass number above the door (odds on the left side, evens on the right), they looked nothing alike.

Number Nine had smokestacks. Four had tomato vines on the walls and a roof made out of grass. Seven seemed to be made of solid gold, which gleamed so much in the sunlight it was almost impossible to look at. They all faced a commons area about the size of a soccer field, dotted with Greek statues, fountains, flower beds, and a couple of basketball hoops (which I definitely had to check out later).

In the center of the field was a huge firepit. Even though it was a warm afternoon, the hearth smouldered. A girl about nine years old was tending the flames, poking the coals with a stick.

I stopped in my tracks as I saw the aura she was radiating. It was warm, and I suddenly felt like sitting there and roasting some marshmallows.

I subconsciously walked to her, not even noticing that Chiron was frozen mid-step. Even the birds were frozen mid-flight.

I was already sitting beside her when I snapped out of the daze, the aura covering me like a blanket.

"Uh-Hello" I said.

The girl spun around to face me, looking genuinely surprised before smiling, looking genuinely overjoyed to be talking to me.

"Hello Perseus Jackson. What might you need for me?" she enquired.

While I might have found that creepy or suspicious usually, I just knew this person was, while incredibly powerful- as in the same level as Kaguya- , she would never hurt a soul.

"Who are you?" I asked.

"I am Hestia, goddess of the Hearth" she said, ignoring my gasp of surprise when I heard her name.

I bowed immediately, while I had been a bit casual with Dionysus, I wouldn't do that with her, not because of fear, but awe that there was anyone who could be so…gentle.

"You needn't bow Mr Jackson, or should I say, Naruto" she said with a knowing smile.

I stiffened immediately, but relaxed soon after.

Right. Goddess. Probably knows a lot of stuff.

"I must say, I'm quite a fan of you. Most people fight with brute strength, but you understood your foe's, and even got some of them to change their ways with…what did your friends call it? Talk No Jutsu?"

I facepalmed when I remembered the stupid name Kiba had given it.

"Please don't call it that" I mumbled through my fingers.

"Either way. I would like to offer you something. I understand that you plan on bringing back your mother?"

"Uh-I-oh forget it." I muttered, dropping the innocent act. "Yes, I plan to do that"

"I will not try to stop you. I know the value of family, and the pain of loneliness. However, as you are now, even with your newfound gifts, you would not be able to even make it halfway through you journey before failing."

"Why are you telling me this" I asked carefully.

"I have an offer for you" she said, her eyes burning with literal fire. "Be my champion, and I can make it a bit more….bearable"

"I agree" I said immediately.

"So easily?" she asked with an arched eyebrow.

"If theres one god I would trust, it would be you" I said. "I've studies your legends in class, and while I'm sure some of those were wrong, they must have been inspired by something"

"I'm honoured that you would believe in me like that" she said, standing.

"Uhh….forgive me if I'm getting ahead of myself, but is this time-pause ability part of it?"

The fire in her eyes slightly dimmed as she looked up at the sky.

"Not quite. I was inside my father- Kronos- for the longest of the original six Olympians, and so I can use some of his abilities. I doubt you'll be able to use the time-stop ability like this but freezing a few things- like arrows or even your opponent, should be within your abilities"

She looked back at me and sweat-dropped comically when she saw the awestruck look I was sure I was giving.

"That's just one of the abilities you get, but I must go now. Enjoy your day" she said before stepping into the fire and vanishing.

Suddenly, I was back with Chiron, walking alongside him as the Centaur continued the tour.

Most of the other cabins were crowded with campers.

Number five was bright red—a nasty paint job, as if the colour had been splashed on with buckets and fists. The roof was lined with barbed wire and a stuffed wild boar's head hung over the doorway. Inside I could see a bunch of tough-looking kids, both girls and boys, arm wrestling and arguing with each other while rock music blared. The loudest was a girl maybe thirteen or fourteen. She wore a size XXXL CAMP HALF-BLOOD T-shirt under a camouflage jacket. She zeroed in on me and gave me an evil sneer. She reminded me of Nancy Bobofit, though the camper girl was much bigger and tougher looking, and her hair was long and stringy, and brown instead of red.

The brawn but no brain type eh?

I kept walking, trying to stay clear of Chiron's hooves. "We haven't seen any other centaurs," I said.

"No," said Chiron sadly. "My kinsmen are a wild and barbaric folk, I'm afraid. You might encounter them in the wilderness, or at major sporting events. But you won't see any here."

"You said your name was Chiron. Are you really ..."

He smiled down at me. "The Chiron from the stories? Trainer of Hercules and all that? Yes, Percy, I am."

"But, shouldn't you be dead?"

Chiron paused, as if the question intrigued him. "I honestly don't know about should be. The truth is, I can't be dead. You see, eons ago the gods granted my wish. I could continue the work I loved. I could be a teacher of heroes as long as humanity needed me. I gained much from that wish ... and I gave up much. But I'm still here, so I can only assume I'm still needed."

I thought about being a teacher for three thousand years. It wouldn't have made my Top Ten Things to Wish For list.

"Does it ever get boring?"

"No, no," he said. "Horribly depressing, at times, but never boring."

"I guess I get why depressing.."

"Oh, look," he said, suddenly looking away. "Annabeth is waiting for us."

The blond girl I'd met at the Big House was reading a book in front of the last cabin on the left, number eleven.

When we reached her, she looked me over critically, like she was still thinking about how much I drooled.

I tried to see what she was reading, but I couldn't make out the title. I thought my dyslexia was acting up. Then I realized the title wasn't even English. The letters were in Greek. There were pictures of temples and statues and different kinds of columns, like those in an architecture book.

"Annabeth," Chiron said, "I have masters' archery class at noon. Would you take Percy from here?"

"Yes, sir."

"Cabin eleven," Chiron told me, gesturing toward the doorway. "Make yourself at home."

Out of all the cabins, eleven looked the most like a regular old summer camp cabin, with the emphasis on old. The threshold was worn down, the brown paint peeling. Over the doorway was one of those doctor's symbols, a winged pole with two snakes wrapped around it.

Inside, it was packed with people, both boys and girls, way more than the number of bunk beds with sleeping bags were spread all over on the floor.

Chiron didn't go in. The door was too low for him. But when the campers saw him they all stood and bowed respectfully.

"Well, then," Chiron said. "Good luck, Percy. I'll see you at dinner."

He galloped away toward the archery range.

I stood in the doorway, looking at the kids. They weren't bowing anymore. They were staring at me, sizing me up. I knew this routine. I'd gone through it so many times I didn't even bat an eye.

"Well?" Annabeth prompted. "Go on."

I walked calmly though the doorway and raised a hand in greeting.

Annabeth announced, "Percy Jackson, meet cabin eleven.

"Regular or undetermined?" somebody asked.

I didn't know what to say, but Annabeth said, "Undetermined."

Everybody groaned.

A guy who was a little older than the rest came forward. "Now, now, campers. That's what we're here for. Welcome, Percy. You can have that spot on the floor, right over there."

The guy was about nineteen, and he looked pretty cool. He was tall and muscular, with short-cropped sandy hair and a friendly smile. He wore an orange tank top, cut-offs, sandals, and a leather necklace with five different-coloured clay beads. The only thing unordinary about his appearance was a thick white scar that ran from just beneath his right eye to his jaw, like an old knife slash.

"This is Luke," Annabeth said, and her voice sounded different somehow. I glanced over and saw that she was blushing.

Well, that's interesting…

She saw me looking, and her expression hardened again. "He's your counselor for now."

"For now?" I asked.

"You're undetermined," Luke explained patiently. "They don't know what cabin to put you in, so you're here. Cabin eleven takes all newcomers, all visitors. Naturally, we would. Hermes, our patron, is the god of travellers."

I looked at the tiny section of floor they'd given me. I had nothing to put there to mark it as my own, no luggage, no clothes, no sleeping bag. Just the Minotaur's horn. I thought about setting that down, but then I remembered that Hermes was also the god of thieves.

I looked around at the campers' faces, some sullen and suspicious, some grinning stupidly, some eyeing me as if they were waiting for a chance to pick my pockets.

"How long will I be here?" I asked.

"Good question," Luke said. "Until you're determined."

"I'm guessing that theres no way of knowing how long that takes?"

The campers all snickered.

"Come on," Annabeth told me. "I'll show you the volleyball court."

"I've already seen it but sure."

"Come on." She grabbed my wrist and dragged me outside.

When we were a few feet away, Annabeth said, "Jackson, you have to do better than that."

"What?"

She rolled her eyes and mumbled under her breath, "I can't believe I thought you were the one."

"What is that even supposed to mean?" I was getting annoyed now. "All I know is, I kill the Minotaur an-"

"Don't talk like that!" Annabeth told me. "You know how many kids at this camp wish they'd had your chance?"

"To get killed?"

"To fight the Minotaur! What do you think we train for?"

I shook my head. "I guess that makes sense. I do have a question though"

At her nod, I asked. "If the Minotaur I fought was the REAL Minotaur…"

"Yes."

"Then there's only one."

"Yes."

"And he died, like, a gajillion years ago, right? Theseus killed him in the labyrinth. So ..."

"Monsters don't die, Percy. They can be killed. But they don't die."

"That makes absolutely no sense."

"They don't have souls, like you and me. You can dispel them for a while, maybe even for a whole lifetime if you're lucky. But they are primal forces. Chiron calls them archetypes. Eventually, they re-form."

I thought about Mrs. Dodds. "You mean if I killed one, accidentally, with a sword—"

"The Fur ... I mean, your math teacher. That's right. She's still out there. You just made her very, very mad."

"How did you know about Mrs. Dodds?"

"You talk in your sleep."

"You almost called her something. A Fury? Hades' torturers, right?"

Annabeth glanced nervously at the ground, as if she expected it to open up and swallow her. "You shouldn't call them by name, even here. We call them the Kindly Ones, if we have to speak of them at all."

"Look, is there anything we can say without it thundering?" I sounded bratty, even to me, but right then I didn't care. "Why do I have to stay in cabin eleven, anyway? Why is everybody so crowded together? There are plenty of empty bunks right over there."

I pointed to the first few cabins, and Annabeth turned pale. "You don't just choose a cabin, Percy. It depends on who your parents are. Or ... your parent."

She stared at me, waiting for me to get it.

"Wait so you mean, my dad was a GOD?"

"You got that much quicker than most, yes, a Greek god to be more specific"

"….That explains a lot.."

Then a husky voice yelled, "Well! A newbie!"

I looked over. The big girl from the ugly red cabin was sauntering toward us. She had three other girls behind her, all big and ugly and mean looking like her, all wearing camo jackets.

"Clarisse," Annabeth sighed. "Why don't you go polish your spear or something?"

"Sure, Miss Princess," the big girl said. "So, I can run you through with-it Friday night."

''Erre es korakas!" Annabeth said, which I somehow understood was Greek for 'Go to the crows!' though I had a feeling it was a worse curse than it sounded. "You don't stand a chance."

"We'll pulverize you," Clarisse said, but her eye twitched. Perhaps she wasn't sure she could follow through on the threat. She turned toward me. "Who's this little runt?"

"Percy Jackson," Annabeth said, "meet Clarisse, Daughter of Ares."

I blinked. "The war god?"

Clarisse sneered. "You got a problem with that?"

"No," I said, recovering my wits. "It explains the bad smell."

Clarisse growled. "We got an initiation ceremony for newbies, Prissy."

"Percy."

"Whatever. Come on, I'll show you."

"Clarisse—" Annabeth tried to say.

"Stay out of it, wise girl."

Annabeth looked pained, but she did stay out of it, and I didn't really want her help. I was the new kid. I had to earn my own rep. Plus I really needed to blow off some steam.

I handed Annabeth my minotaur horn and just let Clarisse drag me by the neck a cinder-block building that I knew immediately was the bathroom.

She dragged me into the girls' bathroom. There was a line of toilets on one side and a line of shower stalls down the other. It smelled just like any public bathroom, and I was thinking that if this place belonged to the gods, they should've been able to afford classier johns.

Clarisse's friends were all laughing, and I was just looked at them, bored.

"Like he's 'Big Three' material," Clarisse said as she pushed me toward one of the toilets. "Yeah, right. Minotaur probably fell over laughing, he was so stupid looking."

Her friends snickered.

Annabeth stood in the corner, watching through her fingers.

Clarisse bent me over on my knees and started pushing my head toward the toilet bowl. It reeked like rusted pipes and, well, like what goes into toilets. I immediately decided that my nose did not appreciate the smell and did a backflip, kicking her head into the toilet bowl instead.

She pulled her head out immediately, furiously charging at me.

Then something happened. I felt a familiar tug in the pit of my stomach. I felt the water burst out of the pipes, and somehow managed to direct it to Clarisse and her goons, but made sure me and Annabeth were dry.

The showers acted up, too, and together all the fixtures sprayed the camouflage girls right out of the bathroom, spinning them around like pieces of garbage being washed away.

As soon as they were out the door, I felt the tug in my gut lessen, and the water shut off as quickly as it had started.

The entire bathroom was flooded. Annabeth had been spared. She was completely dry and was standing in exactly the same place, staring at me in shock.

I stood up, my legs shaky.

Annabeth said, "How did you ..."

"Gut feeling, I guess"

We walked to the door. Outside, Clarisse and her friends were sprawled in the mud, and a bunch of other campers had gathered around to gawk. Clarisse's hair was flattened across her face. Her camouflage jacket was sopping and she smelled like sewage. She gave me a look of absolute hatred. "You are dead, new boy. You are totally dead."

"Funny, I don't feel dead"

Her friends had to hold her back. They dragged her toward cabin five, while the other campers made way to avoid her flailing feet.

Annabeth stared at me. I couldn't tell whether she was just grossed out or surprised that I could control toilets,

"What?" I demanded. "What are you thinking?"

"I'm thinking," she said, "that I want you on my team for capture the flag."