11. WE VISIT THE GARDEN GNOME EMPORIUM

Annabeth and Grover and I walked through the woods along the New Jersey riverbank.

Grover was shivering and braying, his eyes turned full of terror. "Three Kindly Ones. All three at once."

"Calm down will ya. We dealt with them" I sighed.

Annabeth pulled us along.

"Come on! The farther away we get, the better."

"And go where?" I asked her. "All our stuff went boom"

"Well, maybe if you hadn't decided to jump into the fight—"

"How is this even my fault? All I did is try to help you"

"You didn't need to protect me, Percy. I would've been fine."

"Sliced like sandwich bread," Grover put in, "but fine."

"Shut up, goat boy," said Annabeth.

Grover brayed. "Tin cans ... a perfectly good bag of tin cans."

We trudged, navigating through between a bunch of trees with spiky branches.

After a few minutes, Annabeth fell into line next to me. "Look, I...I appreciate your coming back for us, okay? That was really brave."

"We're a team. Plus, those who abandon their friends are worse than trash in my opinion"

She was silent for a few more steps. "It's just that if you died ... aside from the fact that it would really suck for you, it would mean the quest was over. This may be my only chance to see the real world."

"You haven't left Camp Half-Blood since you were seven?" I asked her.

"No ... only short field trips. My dad—"

"The history professor."

"Yeah. It didn't work out for me living at home. I mean, CampHalf-Blood is my home." She was rushing now. "At camp you train and train. And that's all cool and everything, but the real world is where the monsters are. That's where you learn whether you're any good or not."

Sounds a bit immature but it is true I suppose.

"You're pretty skilled with your knife," I said.

"You think so?"

"Anybody who can stab a Fury literally in front of its face is pretty skilled to me."

I saw her smile at that.

"You know," she said, "maybe I should tell you ... Something funny back on the bus ..."

Whatever she was going to say was interrupted by a shrill toot-toot-toot.

"Hey, my reed pipes still work!" Grover said in delight. "If I could just remember a 'find path' song, we could get out of these woods!"

He puffed out a few notes, but the tune still sounded suspiciously like Hilary Duff.

Instead of finding a path, I almost slammed into a tree.

We kept walking until I saw a deserted two-lane road through the trees. On the other side was a closed-down gas station, a tattered billboard for a 90's movie, and one open business.

It was one of those roadside shops that sell lawn flamingos and cement grizzly bears and stuff like that. The building was a long warehouse, surrounded by acres of statuary. The neon sign above the gate was impossible for me to read, because if there's anything worse for dyslexia than regular English, it's red cursive neon English.

To me, it looked like: ATNYU MES GDERAN GOMEN MEPROUIM.

"What the heck does that say?" I asked.

"I don't know," Annabeth said.

She reads so much; I'd forgotten she was dyslexic as well.

Grover translated: "Aunty Em's Garden Gnome Emporium."

Flanking the entrance were two cement garden gnomes, smiling and waving, as if they were about to get their picture taken.

I crossed the street, following the smell of the hamburgers.

I tried to sense into the building, and I could feel a lot of people inside, but they felt oddly frozen, like they were dead, but their bodies were still in shape.

Meh. Not so dead people later, food first. I'm sure we can deal with whatever is in there

"Hey ..." Grover warned.

"The lights are on inside," Annabeth said. "Maybe it's open."

"Snack bar," I said.

"Snack bar," she agreed.

"Are you two crazy?" Grover said. "This place is weird."

"I agree" I said "but also, food." I said firmly.

The front lot was a forest of statues: cement animals, cement children, even a cement satyr playing the pipes, which scared the shit outta Grover.

"Bla-ha-ha!" he bleated. "Looks like my Uncle Ferdinand!"

We stopped at the warehouse door.

"Don't knock," Grover pleaded. "I smell monsters."

"We'll kill them then. I'm way too hungry to care right now"

Then the door creaked open, and standing in front of us was a tall woman. She wore a long black gown that covered everything but her hands, and her head was completely veiled. Her eyes glinted behind it, but that was all l I could make out. Her coffee-coloured hands looked old, but well-manicured and elegant, so I imagined she was a grandmother who had once been a beautiful lady.

Her accent sounded vaguely Middle Eastern, too. She said, "Children, it is too late to be out all alone. Where are your parents?"

"They're ... um ..." Annabeth started to say.

"We're orphans," I said.

"Orphans?" the woman said. The word sounded weird in her mouth. "But, my dears! Surely not!"

"We got separated from our bus," I said. "Our bus from the orphanage. We were out on a field trip. The matron told us to meet er at the gas station if we got lost, but she probably forgot, or meant a different gas station. Anyway, we're lost. Is that food I smell?"

"Oh, my dears," the woman said. "You must come in, poor children. I am Aunty Em. Go straight through to the back of the warehouse, please. There is a dining area."

We thanked her and went inside.

Annabeth muttered to me, "Orphanages have field trips?"

"I knew a guy at Nancy whose dad ran an orphanage."

"Good thinking then."

The warehouse was filled with more statues—people in different poses, wearing all different outfits and with different expressions on their faces.

Sure enough, there was a fast-food counter with a grill, a soda fountain, a pretzel heater, and a nacho cheese dispenser at the back of the warehouse.

"Please, sit down," Aunty Em said.

"Neat" I said.

"Um," Grover said reluctantly, "we don't have any money, ma'am."

Before I could poke his eyes, Aunty Em said, "No, no, children. No money. This is a special case, yes? It is my treat, for such nice orphans."

"Thank you, ma'am," Annabeth said.

"Quite all right, Annabeth," she said. "You have such beautiful Gray eyes, child."

How the hell did she know Annabeth's name, we haven't even introduced ourselves yet. I thought, my eyes narrowing slightly.

She disappeared behind the snack counter and started cooking. Before we knew it, she'd brought us plastic trays heaped with double cheeseburgers, vanilla shakes, and XXL servings of French fries.

I was halfway through my burger before I remembered to breathe.

Annabeth drank her shake.

Grover picked at the fries, and eyed the tray's waxed paper liner as if he might go for that, but he still looked too nervous to eat.

"What's that noise?" he asked.

I listened, and I could hear it too. It sounded oddly familiar, but Annabeth just shook her head.

"Hissing?" Aunty Em asked. "Perhaps you hear the deep-fryer oil. You have keen ears, Grover."

"I take vitamins. For my ears."

"That's admirable," she said. "But please, relax."

After that, she just stared at me, and I just focused on the burger, trying not to think about the weird lady looking at my face.

"So, you sell gnomes," I said, trying to extract some information.

"Oh, yes," Aunty Em said. "And animals. And people. Anything for the garden. Custom orders. Statuary is very popular, you know."

"A lot of business on this road?"

"Not so much, no. Since the highway was built... most cars, they do not go this way now. I must cherish every customer I get."

My neck tingled, and I could feel somebody else looking at me. I turned, but it was just a statue of a young girl holding an Easter basket. The detail was incredible, much better than you see in most garden statues. But something was wrong with her face. It looked as if she were startled, or even terrified.

Wait a minute…. Aunty Em (M), weird hissing noise, and statues? I finally figured out her identity, kind of hard not to when I wrote an essay about her not even 4 months ago.

"Ah," Aunty Em said, interrupting my train of thought. "You notice some of my creations do not turn out well. They are marred. They do not sell. The face is the hardest to get right. Always the face."

"You make these statues yourself?" I asked, my left-hand curling around Riptide.

"Oh, yes. Once upon a time, I had two sisters to help me in the business, but they have passed on, and Aunty Em is alone. I have only my statues. This is why I make them; you see. They are my company." The sadness in her voice sounded so deep and so real that I couldn't help feeling sorry for her.

Annabeth had stopped eating. She sat forward and said, "Two sisters?"

Guess she was starting to connect things as well.

"It's a terrible story," Aunty Em said. "Not one for children, really. You see, Annabeth, a bad woman was jealous of me, long ago, when I was young. I had a... a boyfriend, you know, and this bad woman was determined to break us apart. She caused a terrible accident. My sisters stayed by me. They shared my bad fortune as long as they could, but eventually they passed on. They faded away. I alone have survived, but at a price. Such a price."

Ah. I just realised that she's technically my Dad's Ex. That's just awkward.

"Percy?" Annabeth was shaking me to get my attention. "Maybe we should go. I mean, the matron will be waiting."

"Yeah. We should leave" I said. I knew I alone could probably take her on, all three of us would get it even easier, but I'd rather not fight, if only because the burgers were settling nicely in my stomach.

"Such beautiful Gray eyes," Aunty Em told Annabeth again. "My, yes, it has been a long time since I've seen Gray eyes like those."

She reached out as if to stroke Annabeth's cheek, but Annabeth stood up abruptly.

"We really should go." I said, getting up as well

"Yes!" Grover swallowed some waxed paper and stood up. "The Matron is waiting! Right!"

"Please, dears," Aunty Em pleaded. "I so rarely get to be with children. Before you go, won't you at least sit for a pose?"

"A pose?" Annabeth asked warily.

"A photograph. I will use it to model a new statue set. Children are so popular, you see. Everyone loves children."

Annabeth shifted her weight from foot to foot. "I don't think we can, ma'am. Come on, Percy—"

"You know what" I said, a plan forming in my head, " I think we can do one. No harm" (Totally didn't almost laugh at that last part)

"Yes, Annabeth," the woman purred. "No harm."

I knew Annabeth didn't like it, but she allowed Aunty Em to lead us back out the front door, into the garden of statues.

Aunty Em directed us to a park bench next to the stone satyr. "Now," she said, "I'll just position you correctly. The young girl in the middle, I think, and the two young gentlemen on either side."

"Not much light for a photo," I remarked, playing along.

"Oh, enough," Aunty Em said. "Enough for us to see each other, yes?"

"Where's your camera?" Grover asked.

Aunty Em stepped back, as if to admire the shot. "Now, the face is the most difficult. Can you smile for me please, everyone? A large smile?"

Grover glanced at the cement satyr next to him, and mumbled, "That sure does look like Uncle Ferdinand."

"Grover," Aunty Em chastised, "look this way, dear."

She still had no camera in her hands.

"Percy—" Annabeth said.

"I know" I said with a grin. "Just wait for it"

"I will just be a moment," Aunty Em said. "You know, I can't see you very well in this cursed veil..."

"Percy, something's wrong," Annabeth insisted.

"Wrong?" Aunty Em said, reaching up to undo the wrap around her head. "Not at all, dear. I have such noble company tonight. What could be wrong?"

"That is Uncle Ferdinand!" Grover gasped.

"Look away from her!" Annabeth shouted. She whipped her Yankees cap onto her head and vanished. Her invisible hands pushed Grover off the bench.

She tried to do the same for me, but I dodged and thrust my hands towards Mrs Em, or should I say, Medusa.

There was a moment of silence, and then Annabeth got back to her feet, removing the cap as she looked on in awe.

What she saw was something quite awe-worthy indeed.

There stood Medusa, unmoving, because she was staring straight into a mirror made of ice I had created using the water from the water bottle I kept in my back pocket.

"Well, that was easy" I said with a smirk as I took a picnic blanket nearby and draped it over her before returning the ice mirror to water and back into the bottle.

"That was reckless" Annabeth snapped "You could have died"

"Yeah but I didn't" I said, scratching the back of my head "Plus I wasn't actually looking even remotely near her"

"Well atleast its over" Grover said, slightly cheerful.

As if on cue, Medusa suddenly started moving under the blanket before tearing it to shreds using…claws apparently.

Huh. that's new.

"Back to no more looking" I said before ducking behind a statue, seeing Annabeth and Grover doing the same.

I could hear the sound of tiny snakes, getting near me.

(WHAT IS IT WITH ME AND DEALING WITH CREEPY SNAKE PEOPLE)

"Run!" Grover bleated. I heard him racing across the gravel, yelling, "Maia!" to kick-start his flying sneakers.

"Such a pity to destroy a handsome young face," she told me soothingly. "Stay with me, Percy. All you have to do is look up."

I snorted. "Lady, I am in no mood to turn into a statue"

I glanced to my side, seeing a bronze shield show her reflection.

Hmm, not accurate enough.

"The Gray-Eyed One did this to me, Percy," Medusa said. "Annabeth's mother, the cursed Athena, turned me from a beautiful woman into this."

"Don't listen to her!" Annabeth's voice shouted, somewhere in the statuary. "Run, Percy!"

"Silence!" Medusa snarled. Then her voice modulated back to a comforting purr. "You see why I must destroy the girl, Percy. She is my enemy's daughter. I shall crush her statue to dust. But you, dear Percy, you need not suffer."

I leaped from behind the statue, my eyes shut tightly as I used her head as a springboard and flipped, landing behind her.

Yet again, I put up an ice mirror, but this time, she was turned into stone for just a moment before returning to her snakey glory.

"My own power could never defeat me. You only caught me off guard before my dear" she purred.

I don't have enough water to surround her. How did Haku use this when we fought again? Ah right. She created it using the water in the air.

Damn he was basically a prodigy when I think about it, literally creating Jutsu without even going through the formal training. It was tough, manipulating and moving the water, turning it to ice.

I jumped and ducked behind another statue as Medusa shattered the one I was hiding behind.

"Do you really want to help the gods?" Medusa asked. "Do you understand what awaits you on this foolish quest, Percy? What will happen if you reach the Underworld? Do not be a pawn of the Olympians, my dear. You would be better off as a statue. Less pain."

I heard a buzzing sound, like a two-hundred-pound hummingbird in a nosedive. Grover yelled, "For Uncle Ferdinand!"

I turned, and there he was in the night sky, flying in with his winged shoes, Grover, holding a tree branch the size of a baseball bat. His eyes were shut tight, his head twitched from side to side. He was navigating by ears and nose alone.

Thwack!

I thought it was the sound of Grover hitting a tree, but then Medusa roared with rage.

"You miserable satyr," she snarled. "I'll add you to my collection!"

I grabbed Grover and jumped up, going about 10 feet into the air.

"Aaaaah" Grover screamed, smacking me with the branch.

"Oi calm down it's just me" I said as I felt a bump on my head.

"P-Percy?" he questioned "Wait how have we not hit the ground yet"

"That jump had a lot of power in it, and your shoes are slowing us down. Anyway, I have a plan, and I need you both in specific places for it to work.

He gulped, but nodded.

I landed right on Medusa's face, which was actually Kinda impressive, since I couldn't see and was aiming for the sound of hissing.

I heard the faint flapping of Grover and Annabeth's whispering and then the sounds of his shoes flapping.

"YOU DARE" she roared as I flipped off of her.

"FORGET A STATUE, I'LL RIP YOUR HEAD STRAIGHT OFF"

Well, I guess I have her attention then.

And now for the next stage.

RUN FOR IT.

I sprinted through the warehouse, staring straight at the floor to avoid making eye contact even through a mirror, putting up water walls and tripping her up at random intervals, pissing her off even more.

As I finally got to the front door, I dropped to the ground, just narrowly avoiding her flying body, which crashed through the door and bounced like four times on the road.

I retraced my steps, heading back to the garden.

I had just gotten to Grover's uncle Ferdinand when Medusa crashed through the window near there and lunged at me with a cackle.

I clenched my eyes shut and tilted my body such that it was parallel to the ground.

Her laugh suddenly stopped, and I heard the sound of a blade cutting through flesh and a dull thud.

"You can open your eyes now" Annabeth said, relief clear in her voice.

Grover gagged a bit as he used the same blanket from earlier and covered Medusa's severed head.

"Gotta hand it to you Seaweed brain, using that shield to show a distorted reflection and getting her so riled up she didn't even notice me with my dagger, if you were still undetermined I would have pegged you for a child of Athena" she said with a grudging smile.

"This could have all been avoided if we'd just left" Grover complained.

"Well one: We got to kill a monster and potentially save a bunch of people" I said, justifying my actions.

"And two?"

"… I was hungry."

Grover just sighed.

"Anyway, let's see what she had in there, it might be useful for us" Annabeth said.

In the cash register I found twenty dollars, a few golden drachmas, and some packing slips for Hermes Overnight Express, each with a little leather bag attached for coins. I rummaged around the rest of the office until I found the right-size box.

I went back to the picnic table, packed up Medusa's head, and filled out a delivery slip:

The Gods

Mount Olympus

600th Floor,

Empire State Building

New York, NY

With best wishes,

PERCY JACKSON

"They're not going to like that," Grover warned. "They'll think you're impertinent."

"Dude, have you met me?"

"That's…..fair"

I started writing a letter as well using a sheet of paper I found nearby.

"Plus, didn't Athena create a shield out of her head? We could use another one of those I'm sure. Plus, I sorta want them to see that we were strong enough to kill one of the most famous monsters in Greek history"

"You don't resent Poseidon? For leaving you and your mom alone?" Annabeth asked cautiously.

"Well, he isn't the world's best dad, but I'll save the judging for when I actually meet him"

I poured some golden drachmas in the pouch and tucked the letter beside the covered head. As soon as I closed it, there was a sound like a cash register. The package floated off the table and disappeared with a pop!

"Come on, we need a new plan" Annabeth just sighed.