Uninspired Voyages

A Star Trek: Voyager fanfiction by Andrew J. Talon

DISCLAIMER: This is a non-profit fan based work of prose. Star Trek: Voyager, Deep Space Nine, The Next Generation et al are the property of CBS Television, Para creation of Gene Roddenberry. Please support the official release.

Another flashback, this time to Shepherd Junior's childhood...

2350

Shepherd Senior had barely returned to his small home in Castle Rock, Colorado. As he entered, his wife looked up from her dishes... And dropped them into the sink. She ran over to him, and hugged him in a tackle.

"URK!"

"DARLINNNGG!" May cheered happily, cuddling her beloved husband. "It's been a month! I missed you so much~!"

"I-I missed you too, May," Shepherd Senior said, hugging her tightly. He kissed her feverishly... Before a young voice broke the silence.

"DADDY!"

Shepherd Senior grinned and knelt down, still holding his wife. His son, all of three years old, ran from the living room with a happy smile. Shepherd pulled him close and cuddled the little boy.

"I missed you too, Junior!" Shepherd Senior laughed. His son hugged him, and as Senior carried his family into the living room, his son babbled excitedly about all sorts of random things. He sat down with his son, and let him point out all his toys. May finished washing the dishes, and came in. She sat with Shepherd Senior, and they began to play with their little boy and his toys.

After dinner, Shepherd Junior was put to bed. He cried a bit, but his mother's ominous glare made him obey and go to sleep. May then turned a warm, sexy smile on Senior.

"Darling~," she murmured, brushing her hair out of her face, "I have really missed you~..."

Shepherd Senior kissed her dearly, and squeezed her bottom. She squeaked and giggled.

"I'll be up in a second," Shepherd Senior said softly, nuzzling his wife. May frowned, and glanced at the back door. She sighed.

"Can't they leave you alone?" She groaned. Senior chuckled.

"Sad to say, I guess not," he said. He nuzzled her again, and gave her one last kiss. "Mmm... I promise. I'll be back in a second."

"I'll hold you to that, Mister," she giggled, and practically skipped up the stairs. Shepherd Senior headed out into the small backyard. Amid the toys Junior had left laying around in the grass stood a Starfleet Temporal Agent.

Or rather, sat. He was wincing as he held his foot, a Lego brick stuck in his sole.

"Those things are diabolical," Daniels whined. Shepherd Senior took a deep breath.

"I just got back from a mission dealing with the Orion Syndicate," Senior growled, "mind telling me why you're here?"

Daniels sighed.

"I am really sorry, but something big just came up," he said.

"You're a time traveler, you couldn't wait one day?" Shepherd Senior asked angrily. Daniels sighed and rubbed his temples.

"Look, I know it's a pain, but... This is about the fate of the universe. I wouldn't bother you for nothing! I promise!"

Shepherd groaned.

"Come on..."

"It won't take long, I promise!" Daniels said.

"That's what you said about Procyon 9," grumbled Shepherd Senior, "and that took days! There's got to be someone else!"

"Nope," Daniels said, "I need your particular skills on this."

Shepherd Senior sighed heavily.

"Fine," he stated, "BUT! I get six months off."

"I can't-"

"Six. Months," Shepherd stated angrily. "And assignment of my choice after my 'probationary period' with Starfleet Intelligence is up!"

Daniels grunted... But nodded.

"All right. I agree. It's not like you deserve it... Anyway! Let's get going!"

"What are we doing?" Shepherd Senior asked.

"We're catching a naughty child," Daniels stated. Shepherd Senior smiled dangerously.

"Please make some damn sense, I am sick of your cryptic bullshit," Senior said.

Daniels gulped.

"All right, all right..."

Michelle-No, Michael Burnham had succeeded in traveling back in time. She'd deaged herself appropriately, and was sneaking up to Sarek's house. She would modify everyone's memories-She would be Michael Burnham, adopted child of Sarek, and sister to Spock! Then she could live out her fantasies and gain all the love and admiration she deserved!

She tried to clamber over the fence gate, falling off several times, before she realized the gate wasn't locked. So she opened the gate and snuck up the stony path to the Vulcan home. She grinned as she reached the door. She knocked on it, and held up the memory modifier. It would require reinforcement, but it was all so she could be the beloved older sister to her love, Spock...

The door opened. A human man in battle armor was holding a phaser. Michael's eyes widened.

"Wha-?!"

TSEW!

Shepherd Senior shot the demented little time traveler, and then pulled out a sack. He shoved the deaged woman into the sack. Daniels walked up, shaking his head.

"Well, Sarek and his family will be unfrozen from temporal stasis in two minutes," Daniels said, "you got her?"

"Yes," Shepherd Senior stated, swinging the sack over his shoulder. "Please tell me I won't have to come back here and shoot more insane fangirls of Ambassador Spock?"

"No, no!" Daniels said, resting a hand on Shepherd Senior's shoulder. The temporal transporter began to whine, taking them back to the 24th century. Daniels smiled and nodded,

"... Probably!" Daniels qualified.

Shepherd Senior glared.

"Wait what-"

"I've got her! Enjoy your vacation!" Daniels said quickly, grabbing the sack and beaming out. Shepherd Senior glared where the temporal agent had been.

Maybe he should try to contact Daniels, figure out just what the hell that was about-

"Ohhhh Darling~!" His wife crooned. Shepherd Senior looked up at an open window. His dear wife May was in sexy blue lingerie, leaning out the door with a come hither look.

Shepherd Senior leaped up and climbed the side of the house. He leaped through the window and pounced on his wife.

Eh, who cared about Daniels?

Omake written by Farmer_10

Wesley's Most Successful Prank or Why Shepherd Jr. Got So Good At His Future Job

Shepherd: Bullshit

Wesley: Yeah, man. It's true. Why do you think she's acting so uncomfortable around you?

Shepherd: BETAZOIDS CANNOT SENSE THAT YOU'VE MASTURBATED TO THEM!

Wesley: For fucks sake, man. Inside voice, c'mon.

Shepherd: This isn't real, you're making it up. Troi and I have interacted plenty of times before this without what I do in my me-time being a problem.

Wesley: Well, yeah. That euphoria fades pretty quick, so she must've run into you fresh after a "session". *shrugs* Just bad luck.

Shepherd: No, no, no, no. You're full of it.

Wesley: Look I read it in this paper by a Professor Mieke Matsuda. I'll send it your padd. Check the underlined part and you can see it's tue.

Shepherd: "The Social Causality of Betazoid Sexuality"? Wesley how the hell do you end up even finding something like this?

Wesley: Got into a research spiral that started with a footnote that led to an addendum that led to a citation that led me to this paper.

Shepherd: I'm onto you, buddy. The 522 page document is an impressive piece of production value but one little search and oh she's a real person. And she actually studies this kind of thing. Okay, asshole. I'll read this entire goddamn thing and prove you're full of shit! *storms off*

Wesley: Ha, the look on his face is gonna be great. The first page gives it away immediately. I give him a half hour.

2 weeks later:

*Wesley going about his day doing his Wesley things until*

Shepherd: Okay, Wesley! I gotta hand it you, I'm impressed. I read your little fanfic over and over again and can't find any flaws. And you chose a researcher who's apparently an unfindable recluse. But I'm on her trail and your tower of lies is gonna come tumblin down, tumblin down, tumblin down. Like a house of cards. SMOKE BOMB. *just runs out the door*

Wesley: I need to make other friends.

3 more weeks later:

*Wesley just Wesley-ing around in his quarters*

Shepherd: *slamming his padd in front of Wesley* YOU ABSOLUTE FUCKER!

Wesley: What are you-oh that thing. That was like five crises ago. At least you finally found the code, I was getting embarrassed for you.

Shepherd: The code-no, I tracked down Matsuda and found out you were lying to me and there was never anything about masturbation in the-what code?

Wesley: The code I sloppily edited into the document. On the first page, there's letters here and there that I scrambled just a little bit and when you run them through an Andorian Cypher you get this sequence that *starts tapping* says 'gotcha' in morse code. *finger guns* Gotcha. Oh and Troi was in on it. *finger guns* Double Gotcha.

Shepherd:

Years later, Starfleet Intelligence Training Center-I mean, a non-descript place that doesn't exist. You didn't read that.

Instructor Rando: Damn kid, you are just blitzing your way through this training. I know things got wild on the D, but that doesn't really cover this skillset. How does a guy your age know this much about code-breaking, spotting forged documents and get so good at reading people?

Shepherd: *trying to hide a twitch* Normal, cool reasons.