Lauren
Lauren decided to walk around the army compound, reflecting the time she was here, and being back at this time around it's not as bad as before. It is a bit quiet and peaceful at times and others just as hectic. There were not that much surgeries as were before, still there are times when she had her arms really deep into a soldier's cavity that reaches up to her elbows finding that elusive bullet. Or she had no choice but to amputate the soldier's leg in order for him to survive. There are still mines out there, they are more careful now.
Taking a deep breath, this isn't the best time to think people back in Canada you don't matter to them. Maybe…maybe Kenzi, and there's Evony who tries very hard not to show how much she cares, Lauren act as if she didn't see it. She's thinking if Bo misses her but she has Dyson to keep her occupied.
Lauren found the communication tent, the thought of calling someone. EVONY came to mind. Evony have been her constant source of connection back at Toronto. She suspects Evony likes it when she calls from time to time. She wanted to call Kenzi but Bo is not the person she wanted to talk in case she's nearby. She will need to face Bo later for when she gets back. IF she does.
During the months, Lauren started to do more exercises like running within their compound almost every other day or sometimes in a row to get some routine in her life to get her excess energy out of her system. Amber and Stephanie (another nurse), they would join Lauren or sometimes one of the army guys would run with them.
A month ago, she got nick by a shrapnel at her right thigh. Shit! It hurt like a bitch; she survived the little incident. It's not an incident.
She's high up in the air the whirring of the propellers is so loud thank goodness for the headphones. Going off into the desert sky, sometimes she likes it as the helicopter would soar up in the sky scouring down at the sands ahead.
Once they landed Marcus heads out first, then the others and then for Lauren to step down. She started to assess the fallen soldiers; there were three hurt but nothing major. She helped carry one soldier to the chopper. She stood there staring at the chopper lifting off, leaving behind a gust of winds. As it flew away its starting to look like a big black dot in the sky. Sweat starting to drip inside her uniform, she turns around to find the others.
She found them near an old Humvee that's been there awhile. While they waited for their orders to move on. A barrage of gun fires rain upon them, Lauren ran for cover behind an old building, a young soldier followed her instead of being next to her he landed hard on top of her. She was knock unconscious as her head hit the ground hard.
When she came to, she felt a heavy breathing next to her ear. She tried to move, "Major, please don't move yet. Until we're all clear." She can hear some of the gun fire, every fiber of her wanted to get up, but the man pressed his body down to make sure she wouldn't move. She pressed her head to his, closing her eyes trying not to hear the gun fires until it stopped.
"Is everyone okay?" Marcus's voice rang out to them, when it became apparent the noise of the gun fires subsided, when they all heard an all clear. Everyone gathered around Marcus minus two other soldiers including their Major Lewis.
"Major Lewis!" calling for her. He told everyone to locate their major. One of the soldiers, his name Reynolds. "Sergeant, I've found her!"
The young man looked up at her, his eyes showed how frightened he was at the prospect of dying. She saw how his eyes had dilated from the ordeal. He let her up, and she gave him a hug to reassure him he's still alive. She knew he needed that. He was grateful for the affection; he got up and wonder off to join the others.
Marcus stood staring at her; his eyes showed how nervous he was close to losing her. His feelings for her intensified, not as a girlfriend she became to being a sister to him. He saw how shaken Lauren is, her hands shook the way she kept putting one of her loose hair behind her right ear.
Ten minutes later, they were all standing around their sergeant all peaceful, suddenly a missile landed twenty feet away from where they were. They tried to take cover again, they didn't have time, the others were behind a broken-down Humvee while she and the young soldier were exposed. Shrapnel flew everywhere, Lauren didn't realize the young soldier who was with her earlier was behind her who inadvertently protected her from the blast and he took the brunt.
After the dust has settled down, everyone assessing themselves and the casualties. Lauren canvass her surrounding then she saw the young soldier lying down.
She ran to him; she saw his back the metals are deeply imbedded into him. The blood was oozing from the wounds. When she turned him over to her only to have his upper torso lie on her knees he was breathing slowly and she knew he's about to die soon.
She tenderly wipes the blood away from his mouth, he was choking a bit and he was trying to say something. Lauren wanted to sshh him but she let him say something. "Please tell my family I was brave."
"You are." As she said those words, he passed away. Lauren closed his eyes crying silently because this is what war is.
Lauren tried to stand up again, she felt pain! She didn't realize she got hit on her right thigh. and when moving her left shoulder there was also pain.
They all had her sitting down, she knew as she took a look at her leg the shrapnel just imbedded itself in her rectus femoris muscle, going on doctor mode. A shrapnel must have landed on her scapula the chicken wing part, she's thinking it is sticking out. If it was three inches more towards the center she would be going home in a bag.
When they got back to headquarters, the shrapnel didn't hit any of her major artery or nerves, they had her bedridden for the next couple of days resting at the makeshift hospital. She thought she would be going home after that.
Her commanding officer came to see her for himself, took one look at her and spoke. "You're a tough soldier Lewis. You're not leaving." he acknowledged the attending doctor on his way out, he glanced at Nurse Keller who stood a few feet away from them.
Being bedridden, all Lauren did since she arrived in Afghanistan was reflect her time with the faes. How things would be the same when she returns; months in this desert she felt herself changing to a different person. When she goes back, she will tell Evony its time for her to be free from them. Nadia is dead, her servitude to the fae ended. Lauren wants to be back among her kind, Humans. Seeing the soldier died in front of her really shook her up. She had patients died on her on the operating table, in war things are different.
Her only solace for those couple of days was her squad who would come in and talk to her. She's happy they're there to make sure she's okay. Her nightmares are now the young man who died on her, this made her more depressed. Marcus made sure he was there to tell her she'll be back into practicing her hand-to-hand combat trying to make her feel better.
It was Amber who had kept her company and this touched Lauren immensely, this gave her solace. She didn't realize that she was crying. Amber knew Lauren was crying because of her losing the young man, she hugs her that one late at night when no one's around. Lauren cried for almost an hour and at the end Lauren wanted to be love and belong. Amber held her, reassuring her she's not alone in this world.
It's what Amber had said earlier when they were alone, "I'll take care of you Lauren, I'll be here when you wake up." Sure enough, the next day and the next Amber was there for her.
Lauren never talked about what happen in the tent, Amber knew Lauren appreciate it. Or what had happened in the desert, Lauren knew she had to toughen her heart a bit more because there will be more to come.
Sitting down at her desk at the hospital tent, there's not much in front of her all-empty beds except a few weeks ago. Her mind is wandering again. She looked at her phone one day, she saw the date and month. She has been here for over five months and at that time she had found a few friends, four exactly – the fifth she's becoming more than a friend.
Every time she looks at Amber, she's already thinking how much they have spent together, there's that spark between them. Lauren wants to see where this goes.
Amber, that name kept rolling over her mouth, she's a little bit taller than her with her red hair in a pixie style. It's when she smiles her cheek brings out those little dimples she has. Which sometimes they remind her of Bo. Now her heart is starting to seek out Amber- she is starting to smile more often even Marcus seem to notice but he didn't say a word.
Sometimes she wonders, if Amber is one of the fae watching over her. Lauren doesn't care anymore, Lauren finally found love again when she thinks of Amber. Yes, she can't believe "LOVE" she won't tell her yet. For now, she'll keep it to herself. More than a few times she found herself smiling when she thinks about her. They would both watch the sunset behind the hospital tent. They sat close enough they would be able to slightly touching each other unconsciously, absorbing Amber's body heat. Whatever time they spent together; Lauren is cherishing their moments.
One night they were the last to get out of the surgical tent, they both stood outside just eyeing each other, both don't know what to do. One wanted to walk her home, the other trying to resolve her feelings for her. Amber finally reaches out, took her hand and gave it a squeeze. Lauren gave the same response but this time didn't let go for a few seconds longer.
They finally separated walking in different direction. Lauren knew something is happening between them. A bit of a flutter is starting in her chest Lauren couldn't stop her heart from being excited. She gave a big sigh, the air in the desert is as cold as it is hot during the day. By the time she stepped inside her tent, she saw herself at the mirror smiling and a twinkle in her eye. Amber.
Just the other day.
"Lewis!" Marcus yelled her name, she heard loudly while coming out of the comm tent. She gave a wide smile while turning around.
When he caught up to her, "Marcus." She waited for him.
"Lewis, we have time to practice the hand-to-hand training before dinner." Grabbing her arm, directing her to a secluded place where everyone practices. She was about to decline but thought better; it would be nice to have a different kind of physical activity besides this training. SEX what she needed badly. Ugh!
Twenty minutes later. Plop! The dirt flew upwards as Lauren's body hit the ground the second time around. She prefers to lay there for the moment so she can get her breath in again. Her body ache a bit more than she had realized. "I don't want to get up." She whispered.
"I hope you didn't say you didn't want to get up Lewis." More of a statement.
Does Marcus have super hearing? Ok, which fae is he?
Taking another breath, she prefers to lie on the ground for a few moments. Marcus is having so much fun at this. Maybe she should feign being hurt or something but she's not like that and he knows it.
"Get up, Lewis" from where he was standing. Lauren saw how the sky is so blue from where she's lying. "Lewis!"
"Fuck Marcus! I'm getting up!" With enough venom to scare people. She forgot they have an audience who came to see how the Major is faring with Marcus teaching her self-defense. Everyone around them heard her swear. They've known Major Lewis for a short time, she hadn't been known to swear around them until now. Everyone looked at their sergeant, he must have brought out the mean Doctor Major Lewis today.
Lauren slowly walks towards Marcus and the big guy, he looked like Bruce. Oh my God! I'll be dead in seconds.
Marcus eyed Lewis with a slight evil smirk adorning his face. When she got closer, "Lewis, this is Kevin. You'll be sparring with him." Chewing his tobacco, Lauren knows it's going to stain his teeth. Bleh! Inwardly.
Lauren knows the points in the human body where to hit in order to break their bones as she knew how fae's biology works. I must-not Fear! Oh hell, I want to survive. She silently gulps, but the guy in front of her knew she's scared. She survived the fae, she'll survive this. Fear is the mind killer. Her mantra is going through her mind.
"Lauren, you ready?" a slight shake of her head. Marcus took the guy a little ways leaving Lauren standing alone for a while. He whispered something to him, Kevin gave her that reassuring smile. They both walk back towards her.
"Ok Lauren, remember what I taught you." Marcus walks away, leaving the two of them.
They circled around each other, Kevin tried to scare Lauren by pretending to advance quick and retaliate. At first it worked, then she remembered all those times she was at the hands of the fae, how they belittle her, how think they're better than her. The attitude she received from them, made her job a lot harder. But most of all, Dyson that…no good dirty mutt. Oh, she found her fire against Kevin.
Ten minutes later, "So Lauren, how are you doing?" Marcus standing over her. "At least you lasted ten minutes. Most of the guys, trust me didn't last that long."
Lauren grimaced being on her back again from the fifteen minutes before. She's going to have bruises on her back. Oh boy!
Kevin came into view, blocking out the blue sky," Major Lewis, are you alright?" His southern accent came out. Smiling at him, he wasn't mean at all. He didn't try to hurt her hard, she can barely move him but she tried.
"Yes, Kevin I'm fine." She didn't want to get up just yet. Waving them off.
"Ok, Lewis. I'll see ya later." Marcus and the rest left Lauren on the ground.
Closing her eyes, taking a breather. Oh well, it is nice to be out. She felt someone laid down next to her she didn't want to open her eyes. The person still stayed next to her; she felt the person turn on their side. "Having a nap, Lauren." She heard Amber whisper. That brought a smile to her face. Turning on her right side facing her. Amber's bluest eyes twinkle and Lauren is mesmerized.
"Should we get up?" The mid-afternoon sun beating down on them. Dust and sand clinging to their fatigues making the sand stick more to their skin and hair.
"You have a slight bruise forming around the side of your cheek." Touching the bruise area with her index finger lightly caressing which this made Lauren shiver. She closed her eyes reveling a human's touch – especially this woman's.
Amber noticed Lauren trying to reign in whatever emotion inside of her. She didn't say a word just kept caressing Lauren to make her happy. She'll ask one day who made Lauren sad to the point of her low self-esteem. They stayed there on the ground, enjoying the silence for a while. Lauren reaches out to Amber finding her hand and gave it a squeeze.
"Don't worry, I'm happy." Amber felt so relieved.
Lauren started working on her pushups, pull -ups- her arms are starting to show signs of tone muscles. And her stamina for running had her becoming leaner and her arms are tone from the push-ups. What else can she do amongst the time spent with her peers.
She felt more freer here than she was in Toronto. A little bit of freedom can do wonders for a person. That's really sad for her since she should be free not a slave.
She had found another person to run with. Another army guy who Marcus had her spar with after Kevin. His name is Jake, which he started to like Stephanie, the same nurse who loves the outdoor. Just like Lauren's hair she has it in a ponytail and sometimes more often in a bun while working. She's built more sturdier bone, a few inches shorter and has a little snark just like Kenzi. Sometimes she feels so blessed and sad at times that whenever this is over, she won't be able to keep in touch with them.
Being close proximity and having spent 24/7 together she and Marcus are bonding like brother and sister. He doesn't mind when she speaks or geeks out on medicine while watching him chow down his main food on his plate one meal day. She told him in detail how you can clog the artery for the type of the food you consume. He gave her a wink; Lauren dropped the conversation and he ate his meal peacefully.
One of their many practices, looking down at her on the ground again, "Don't worry Doc, you can dislocate them, in some sort maim them, or shoot them. You can still stitch them back up." Marcus has been teaching Lauren how to shoot, and later hand to hand with a knife which Lauren had become adapted.
Yup, he's right I can honestly stitch them back up, that's my Hippocratic oath. Still, I'm a doctor but here in a war zone.
Now the big event had happened, the KISS with Amber. That was some weeks ago, Lauren couldn't help thinking about it. She unconsciously compares it to Bo! Damn. Don't… don't do that. But she can't help it. Amber's kiss is so sweet, her tongue is like nectar for her wanting more. Maybe because Amber came along when she's really ready to move on.
But she can't help thinking of Bo's kiss that can make you not want more, it's a fire she can't distinguish it with water. She felt herself sweating at the thought of Bo's tongue licking her neck, she slowly moves down between her breast. Stop! Stop! Bo is not here, not in her world. Tilting her head at that thought, she can feel her heart breaking just a bit not as much as it used to. Yup, she's moving on her heart far away from Bo.
Lauren felt a little bit woozy, that medicine they gave her really made her feel dizzy, she thinks it's their way for her not to wander off. She's in her tent now having gotten hurt with just a few hours ago that seem a lifetime. It's a good thing she had gotten a grazed on the side of her head, instead in the front or at the back.
Now that makes four scars now. One from her first time and now her second, third then the fourth. Thinking she has more than 9 lives.
They were out yesterday, a simple walking to the village with her squad.
Without thinking Lauren had walked over to the woman who had dropped her food and clothing. They both were picking up the items when she felt a searing pain to the side of her head and the same time the woman slumped forward to Lauren. The sound of the gun fire heard seconds later as she tried to assess the dead woman. She was shocked, this…this never happen before.
She felt herself being yanked backwards as the dead woman fell to the ground. The other Afghani's surrounded the woman while being pulled by Marcus to move on until they reach the base.
Lauren couldn't help losing her temper at Marcus. "I need to help her!" Struggling from Marcus's grasp, her sunglass had fallen off from her eyes squinting against the mid-afternoon sun. Trying to break free from Marcus hold on her.
"You're my responsibility Lauren! Ours to make sure you survive too!"
At this, Lauren realized they need to survive as a team not wander off helping the people when in truth they're not needed.
That night, Lauren reflected the day, she could have died that day. She has a hell of a headache thank goodness they had given her ibuprofen. "
Amber kept her cool when she found out Lauren had gotten hurt again. She walked briskly to the Hospital tent not knowing the state of her woman. Her woman, smiling - yes. She wants to tell her soon. Lauren's eyes show the window of the pain she had endure these months here, a little spark is showing itself when they are together. She had stayed with Lauren, then help her walk to her tent and spent more time making sure she's okay.
From this experience Lauren's heart harden enough to survive for them. There's no one back home for her to wait for her return. Moistures are edging out of her eyes ready to fall again to the pillow. Don't feel sorry for yourself thinking hard. Well, there is Evony - smiling.
She was touch by Amber's presence. She saw the concern look in her eyes asking how is this happening to you. They had talk about small things, and they had kissed lightly.
Oh, Lauren wanted more, her headache didn't go away. Amber had left hours ago, she can't help wanting more of her time with her. Soon, she'll tell her how she feels. Even if. Lauren is sure the feeling is mutual. Lauren wants a place to call her home now. It may be with Amber or not, she will make a home for herself. Time to have those kids in the future and she'll see if Amber is the one.
Finally, she was able to fall asleep into oblivion until a ringing woke her up, her headache is making its way through wakefulness.
"Hello'' groggily wanting to know who is calling her at this time. She had blocked the people so they won't be able to call her or text her at all.
"Lauren, I mean Hotpants." The voice instantly woke her up from her slumber but still not awake to the living.
Kenzi's voice gave her a sense of home. Lauren jolted up wondering if Bo is okay? The Last time she spoked to Evony. Bo had seen her and they had their little spat. She didn't want to know why? Her heart still hurt thinking about her.
"Kenzi, is everything ok? Are you okay? Bo is not hurt, is she?" Kenzi heard some bed covers rustling.
"No Lauren, I'm okay and so is Bo. Look, she's hurting you left without saying goodbye."
Kenzi sounded sad, Lauren felt bad by not letting her know she left, she can tell by her voice she had hurt her.
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you Kenz." Softly. while trying to keep her migraine from getting worse.
"Kenzi, can we talk at a reasonable hour. It's late here." I need to cut this short. "You got the cashed?" Kenzi is Bo's bestie. They did have great spending time together.
"Sure Hotpants!"
"Can we skype?" Lauren trying to stifle her yawn.
"Sure, what time?"
Lauren mulling her schedule in her head. "How about seven hours from now. Do you have an account?"
At the other end, she can tell Kenzi is happy that they had finally talk, "It needs to be secured." Lauren said, "Kenzi did you hear me? I'll call you." Whispering the last words.
...
"Yes, Doc. I heard ya."
"Ok Kenzi, talk to you soon." Yawning and wincing her head still hurt.
"Bye Kenzi." Turning off her phone.
Now trying to fall asleep from Kenzi's call, staring up at the ceiling of her tent. Bo…how does she feel about her? Lately Amber have been more in her mind, she's starting to care for her Lauren wants to take this relationship slow. It's getting easier to have feelings when you're the one that comes first.
Okay Lauren time to fall asleep, seven hours arrives very fast. Remind yourself to have your phone block again.