As you guys know, I like to be inspired by other peoples work whether they be real writers with published works that people can go out and buy or writers here on this site. I can honestly say that this work is a hybridization of both. The property that I intend to explore today is Monster Musume, or, Everyday Life with Monster Girls.

There are two fics that I want to point to in this introduction, both of which aren't crossovers. The first is "Monster Girls in the USA" by Dragon1990 (id: 12146847) and "Daily Life of Those Who Live at Night" by Naienkon (id: 12642822). Now, the reason I reference both of these fics is because both of them take place in the USA under different people as their hosts, OCs or SIs if I were to take a best guess. So, I had this idea: why not make my own and base the "host" on yours truly? I did the same for that Familiar of Zero self-insert that you guys sort of liked, I wonder what I can come up with for this, I wonder? So, the "host" character is pretty much going to be me with all my great personality traits of being a bit of an abrasive ass at times. Does that mean that my self-insert is going to be a dick towards the monster girls? Hell no. But with that out of the way, let's get this shindig rolling along.

Rating: T for the pilot, T+ to M for a full story.

Disclaimer: I own nothing except my copy of MS Word and my laptop. Monster Musume belongs to Okayado. I only own my own personality and OCs that may appear. See the forward for the full disclaimer.

XxXxXxX

Monster, n. An imaginary creature that is typically large, ugly, and frightening.

Girl, n. A female child. A young or relatively young woman.

Normally, one would think that neither of these two words would mix well together. And normally those people would be right. Well, humanity was wrong. They can and would do it. I should probably start at the beginning for those of you still living under a rock or just don't watch any form of news media.

Around ten years ago half-human creatures approached world governments exposing their existence. There were two major camps to this news. The first were the skeptical ones where they thought it was an elaborate hoax, like Archer's voicemails. There were thousands of videos posted to YouTube meticulously analyzing videos of press conferences of evidence of CGI like one of those analytical videos that do frame by frame analyzations for movie trailers. Then there was the other camp, those that believed that these monsters existed. Now, do not think that meant that all of humanity all of a sudden opened their arms and said that we're open for business. Oh, hell no. There were those, like me, that were of the live and let live group; people that would leave others alone so long as they were left alone themselves. Then there was the other camp who declared the monsters to be an affront to their god(s). You can probably guess which group that was, and no, it wasn't Christianity as a wholesale on that. The Westboro Baptist cult church was at it again being the vocal minority (and that's being nice considering that they're a group of twenty-some crazies) that filled that slot. The rest of the world kind of just ran with it.

Time did pass, as expected world governments did accept the sovereignty of these roaming tribes of monster-people. So long as they didn't cause incidents they could do as they please among themselves but would have to obey the law of the country they resided in. More time passed and an interesting proposal was presented to the world governments, a proposal that Japan immediately accepted. The proposal was to allow members, primarily younger ones, to spend time with a family or host to experience human culture firsthand. Japan was, surprisingly, one of the first countries to jump at this proposal. No one quite knew why, and to some world governments, that both piqued their interest and their worry (some worrying more than others). About five years ago that same proposal was put into action with the Interspecies Cultural Exchange Act. The world watched on as Japan took the forefront of one of the largest cultural programs to ever exist in recent years. No one knew whether this was going to be for the better or for worse.

A year passed, and since no monster clans were baying for the blood of humans and declaring war on humanity wholesale, it was safe to say that the ICEA was a roaring success. World governments were sending representatives left and right to different monster clans to 'sell' them on why their country was the best. Full disclosure? America is the best, hands down. Fight me. Ok, so you caught me. I'm a red-blooded American. I love my country, I can guess that you probably love yours too. And so, one year after the ICEA went live in Japan, the US and several other countries got their opportunity to be a homestay family for monster-people, or as many in the Western world called them, demis.

I, like many other Americans, both those single and families alike, applied for Homestay Status. Basically, it would allow a demi to stay with me and the US government would allow a certain amount of money allocated towards monthly expenses related to said demi homestay paid from a general fund partially paid for by the families of the homestays. This would mean, of course, that said homestay parents were quite loaded. Don't give me that look, I'm only stating the obvious. You can only afford to do something like this if you're wealthy. I've got personal experience on this… ok, second-hand experience. My dad used to be a high school guidance counselor and he'd have to have discussions with Chinese exchange students, not cheap in the slightest as they were paying up front. Ok, tangent aside, I also applied. But that was four years ago, and at the time I had been on the tail end of college, but now I was out.

Currently, I just got home from work. It's not a glamorous job, but it pays the bills and to be honest? I like it. It's the first job that I've actually enjoyed in years. You see, previously I've worked a lot of retail jobs and warehouse jobs, all of which I've pretty much hated for one reason or another whether it be for the pay I got or because I just had terrible coworkers that made each day a chore. But this job? It's perfect for me. I should at least mention what this job is so that you have a bit of context. I work in a call center supporting stores. Don't get that confused with helping customers, that's what the stores are for, I help out the guys and gals that run the stores; franchise and corporate-owned alike. What do I do? I take calls, help people out with their computers or our proprietary property, and then proceed to get paid. It's a pretty sweet gig.

Today was one of the rougher days I've been through. We had three outages affecting three separate systems all within an hour of each other. For those of you that aren't tech savvy, an outage pertains to a loss of service in any way, shape, or form that can affect business. Power outage, internet going out, the store is unable to access the internal websites? It all is considered an outage that can affect business. Bad weather or something similar to what's going in Hawaii? That's just a closure. I mean, we don't want our employees to be risking their lives or anything when they don't have to be. That would be just cruel.

Right now, I'm in my apartment. It's nothing really too big nor anything really to brag about. It's a 'sizable' place with a full bedroom, a sitting/living room, a small kitchen, and a bathroom. It's not much, but it's mine… for a monthly fee. Rent sucks, adulting sucks, but at least I have a job I like and it pays well. So, I'm not complaining all that much about it in that regard. In said apartment though, I'm in front of my computer, a product of my own creation. Ok, by my own creation I mean 'I purchased the parts on the internet and built it'. But I still put it together so bite me. Currently, I've got Far Cry 5 loaded up. It's a fun game, but parts of the story could have been better with a not-so-silent protagonist like Ajay from Far Cry 4 or even Jason from Far Cry 3. The villains are interesting, but not as much as either Pagan Min or Vaas, but that's just a personal opinion.

The current mission I'm on is a side mission in Jacob's region, the culler guy. I see the mission complete music and icon flash on the screen along with the name of the mission that I just completed. The 'resistance' point meter goes up and it goes right over the level marking for this region. And with this I let out a sigh, not out of relief that I'm one step closer to completing this game; no, it's because I'm going to be ambushed by Jacob's Hunters that will find me no matter where I go outside of a controlled Outpost in the region forcing me to play the story mission instead of allowing me to do it when I please like back in previous Far Cry games.

There was a knock at my door. I press the Xbox gem button (that's what it's officially called, believe it or not) to pause the game rather than actually pausing it as music would play and while normally that would be fine, I had an inkling of an idea that this may not be appropriate for music in the background. I approached my door and slowly reached behind my back where my Walther PPQ pistol sat in its holster. And yes, I do have my CCL. I look through the peephole in the door to see a woman dressed in a suit of all things. Don't give me that, you know what I mean. I'm talking full suit, giving that G-Man vibe if you get me. Now, don't get me wrong, I may be a red-blooded American, but I'm not stupid either. I see that shoulder holster hiding a piece under that jacket of hers.

I opened the door a crack and asked through it, "Can I help you?"

"I think you can, Mr. Maddock," she replied. "May I come in?"

"Who are you, and what do you want?" I demand. There's no way I'm letting someone in this place that I don't know.

The woman cocked her hip to the side with her hand on it as if she were putting on a slight show. She wasn't an unattractive woman. In fact, I'd say she was quite attractive. Somehow, even with that government issue suit, she still managed to make those curves of hers work in it. She was around five feet six inches tall and had a good hip-waist ratio. Her face was heart shaped and her skin looked soft. All in all, she looked like the prime specimen of female appearance.

"I'm Agent Jane Smith, member of the Bureau of Liminal Affairs, sub-department of the Federal Bureau of Investigation," she introduced herself. Something about that introduction felt forced. What I mean is that her first name was definitely Jane, but that last name definitely sounded fake. You know, the same when a girl gives you her number and it's '555' anywhere in it. That number is definitely legit, but it's not the number of the person who gave it to you. "And I'm here today to address your application that you submitted to become a homestay host years ago."

That did ring a bell. Then again I was thinking about it a little while ago anyway, so yeah it would be at the forefront of my mind. This, of course, caused my eyebrow to raise in suspicion. "Ok, so why are you showing up now? It's been four years since I submitted my application," I reply, still skeptical of the time difference from when I applied to now. Hell, I never received a letter saying that I was declined.

This did seem to embarrass her a bit, breaking the illusion of a stone-cold G-Man. "Well, my office screwed up," she admitted.

"Screwed up?" I echoed.

"We… had your application in the submissions office but it was… misplaced."

"Misplaced?"

"It was lost in another's case notes. We had only recently discovered it because the person that the homestay was with was accused of money laundering and neglect and that's where your application was found," she sheepishly admitted.

"So, the only reason you even know about my application is that someone was moronic enough to misplace it, and it was only found because someone broke the law?" I repeated in a deadpan. Somehow during all this, she managed to get inside my domicile, I don't know how exactly.

"We do apologize. But after further review of your person consisting of a background check, credit check, and speaking to several close friends of yours for a personal reference the agency has decided that you have the basic and necessary qualities needed to be a homestay host." She handed over a manila folder that had my name plastered on the tab that would be filed away in some file drawer. "Congratulations." I opened it to see psychological studies done on me based on things I've done online, well that's not creepy at all. There was an entire life history including where I was born, what schools I went to, the jobs I've worked over the years (even the unofficial ones like mowing the lawn for my elderly neighbor who paid me), any traffic violations, and my application and approval of my CCL. Again, not creepy at all.

It was then I saw what looked like a notarized paper consisting of blank lines and a final blank line with my name printed below it. "What is this?" I ask as I set it on my kitchen table.

"A contract and agreement," she explained.

"Contract?"

"Yes, a contract. As you may know, the parents and elders of the clans have certain expectations of the promises that our government promised for the homestays. Of course, we can't plan for every eventuality, but we can at least prevent obvious places where their children may be in danger, that being in the home with their hosts. The notarized document in front of you is a contract that states that the host or their family will not harm the homestay in any way which in includes physical and mental harm. A list of some examples are listed in the contract," she pointed at the document.

I looked at the document. The list was quite expansive. And I'm not kidding on that. I mean, it took up an entire paragraph. Some choice pickings from this list are 'no physically striking the homestay no matter what', 'no courting the homestay and committing sexual acts with the homestay', and 'you may not use funds given for homestay expenses for personal use'. And those were just a choice few. "This is quite… extensive," I comment.

"They are in order to legally cover ourselves, I hope you understand that. Before you sign, and you can still decline, is that if you break any of these then you will be subject to penal consequences in accordance with both the crime type and severity," she said ominously. A dark aura seems to hover about her when she said that.

"Depending on the crime?" I ask for clarification, my gulping not totally obvious.

"Larceny will land you in a local prison whereas sexual assault on a demi will land you in Leavenworth." Well, that certainly didn't make things any better. The more that I think about it, the more that I think being a host for a homestay is a BAD idea. I mean, what if one of them come on to me? It wasn't like I initiated it, but the law that was in place wouldn't look at it that way. I'd be fucked and I'd better pray I don't get Bubba as my roommate. "Of course, you are still free to decline. I should say that at least we're a lot more lenient than our contemporaries across the Pacific. Any breach of these terms would mean a federal facility."

I actually felt sorry for those that accidentally broke the law over there. What would be something that I would debate internally for years to come whether it would be a good idea or not. I, without thinking, grabbed the nearest pen and started signing and initialing where my name was listed. Even Agent Smith was shocked at the speed at which I signed.

"Well, that was quick," she commented. She reached over and closed the folder and tucked it under her arm. "I'll take the paperwork and take it back to my office. You will receive a phone call once we have a homestay lined up." She then stood up and walked out of the door. At least she was kind enough to close it behind her. That, of course, left me to my thoughts.

I mean, what's the worst that could happen?

Part of me says I should have never said those words, even mentally. Ever.

To be continued…?

XxXxXxX

Yeah, I know that this was a bit on the shorter end of the spectrum of these pilots, but there's a reason for that. First and foremost, I'm in the middle of a move and short things are easiest right now. The second is that I have no idea what kind of monster girls that I would like this character to cohabitate with. I don't want to follow the show maybe except for one species or another, but I also don't want to follow others that have already made their mark here on this site.

So, that means coming up with characters specifically for this story that are of different species of monster girl that show up in the manga or noted in any other medium related to the series, then creating a story surrounding it. Not just that, but that means also creating a story that is of a more slice of life type story, something I'm not the best at. Give me drama, violence, sci-fi, etc. Slice of life isn't really my forte.

Excuses aside, let me know what you thought at least about the initial idea. If you'll excuse me, I have more packing and Nier: Automata to go do. See you in whatever I do next.