Disclaimer: I do not own Touhou Project as it is owned by ZUN, this applies to the OCs seen in this fic who belong to their original creator.
Yakumo TV Corp presents…Adventures of Arturo!
Onze upun a tim dere is a guuy namedd Arturro whooo was utterly boreeeeddd wiit his life.
Yukkari arrived to changge it.
"Helu ther!" Yukkari said.
"Im bird," Aturro said.
"Helu ther!" Yukkari said egn.
"Cme wotg m," Yukkari said.
"Y tho?" Arturoo said.
"Cuz FUN!" Yukkari said.
"K," Aturro said.
An sooo he goesss to Gensoky. An mees Yukka.
"Helu," Yukka said.
"Wana fkc?" Arturroo said.
"Surre," Yuukka said. "Jst kill the kdz and evrthun."
"Okk," arturrro said.
He dd okk gsturr an wet off to do dat. Thun hhee klld t kdz.
Kids (in Heavy's voice): DED
Arturo lolled lke Spamton. Then dud woth Yukka. Then diidd it with Keeiine. Knocckedd er up, wenttto go do it with Yukka some more for nine montthsss. Then killed the baby.
Baby (still in Heavy's voice): DED. Not big surprise.
Arturro then blw up the Scarlot Devel Manson.
SDM Crew (in Heavy's voice): DED
Thun he lew up the Human Villoge.
Human Villagers (all in Heavy's voice): DED
Thun he destrd the trrees, and hses, and all were lasserred.
Tree fairies and house residents (still in Heavy's voice): DED
Thun he blw up Freddr Fzb's Pizria.
Freddy, Sans and Jevil (still and always in Heavy's voice): DED
Tings were not gud.
But thennn some gurls & booys gut togethe.
nd mrdrd him.
"Wait. Who did it? Who was left?" Brolli asked.
Woz Fredy Fuzbar, Yuyukc, Raymu, Mariss, Mik, Ksen, Yumu, Sans, Quen of Hatrd, Kng of Grwed and Jvil. Also therre mor which wasss German the Forst Hootner, Lad Maria of dhe Astel Clck Towe, Ishin thd Swrd Saint, the Cosen unded, Asrn Onee, Isse Hyoido, Reas Gremory, and finally…sir Giddeeeon of-nir the aaaalll knowing.
"Didn't Freddy, Sans and Jevil die when Arturo blew up the pizzeria?" Brolli asked.
"One second," Yukari said.
She quickly edited the video to put a poorly drawn picture of Roxy. Which is actually one of Clovis la Britannia's drawings and then poorly edited out Sans and Jevil.
Brolli bought it like the moron that he was.
Dey thee begen to gung upp onn him.
Arturo (no need to say it at this point): DED No big surprise.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
-Transiton tiem-
Arturo is going to get joodged.
"UR GO TO HFIL!" Eiiiki said.
"NNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOO!" Arturr said
He wus yeeted ito hfil whch lokd jst firre.
TEH END
Brolli looked absolutely terrified.
"And that's what happened," Yukari said.
"Oh my…" Brolli said.
"Now you know what not to do," Yukari said.
"I got it…" Brolli said with a sigh.
"Good," Yukari said.
"I get it now…" Brolli said.
"Now then you will have to finish those manuals and learn how to defend yourself in Gensokyo," Yukari said as she hands them to him. "Also, go see the Hakurei Shrine Maiden."
Brolli looked at the manuals. The ones he can't seem to be bothered to know about.
The ones he so often actively ignored and the ones he sees as boring. He was thoughtful of this.
"Is there one about Tenshi?" Brolli asked. "I hope there is…"
"Considering how SWR ended, I doubt it," Yukari said. "So you do you and I do me."
The gap youkai left.
"I think I'm going to go sleep now!" Brolli said as he went to go to sleep on the couch.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
-SpongeBob Narrator: Several Hours Later-
Brolli arrived at the Hakurei Shrine.
He sees the people from Arturo's story present which were Freddy Fazbear, Yuyuko, Reimu, Marisa, Miko, Kasen, Youmu, Sans, the Queen of Hatred, the King of Greed and Jevil. This also included Gehrman the First Hunter, Lady Maria of the Astral Clocktower, Isshin the Sword Saint, the Chosen Undead, the Ashen One, Issei Hyoudo, Rias Gremory, and finally…Sir Gideon Ofnir, the All-Knowing.
"Uh oh!" Brolli said. 'This can't be good! They managed to beat the crap of Arturo and are going to do the same to me!'
"Hey, just send us all at once. We can do this!" Hydrus said.
"Maybe we can have fun with one later," Lepus said.
Brolli is silent.
"Come on, say yes," Ferin said. "Just do it!"
"Fine. Go ahead…" Brolli said.
"Oh look, master, it's that idiot," Maria said.
"Yeah, what a joke," Gehrman said as he was busy ogling at Kasen.
Gideon was busy reading one of his books while Isshin was drinking unrefined sake.
Then Reimu shows up annoyed that all these people didn't donate to her.
"Why won't you donate to me?" Reimu said as she looks very annoyed t the crowd who were looking at her as soon as she arrived.
Sans then looked at the beasts summoned by Brolli along with Jevil with his usual grin.
"HEHEHEHEHE. FIVE NEW PLAYERS FOR ME TO PLAY WITH!" Jevil said as he was eager for new playmates who would bring him entertainment as Sans just shrugged.
"eh, I was hopping to just chill out over here," Sans said and was wondering if there was a lounging chair anywhere at all. "is there a lounging chair anywhere?"
"No! Go away unless you donate!" Reimu said.
She was annoyed by all of this a whole lot. It was getting hectic.
BGM: UNL Reimu's "Fantasy Heaven" Theme: Mystic Oriental Love Consultation (End of Century)
"Fantasy Heaven: They just plain f***ing lose!" Reimu said.
"welp gotta to get out of here. toodles!" Sans said as he went through a short cut out of there and dodged everything on the way. Also, everyone but Brolli's Beasts wisely left before they could get hit.
The Beasts were down for the count by Reimu.
BGM End
"That was a rather cheap shot," Brolli said.
"That's rich coming from you and your animals," Reimu said.
"Hey I take offense to that!" Brolli said in response, looking annoyed.
"You should," Reimu said. "So let me guess, you want ME to help you be able to defend yourself in Gensokyo?"
"How do you know?" Brolli said.
"They always say that. Also, don't even THINK of turning into a youkai, or I'll treat you like a villager who turned into a youkai," Reimu said.
"So will you help me?" Brolli said.
"Donate me money then we'll talk," Reimu said sternly.
Brolli tried the coin on a string trick on the donation box.
"I saw that!" Reimu said. "You ain't fooling me!"
"Crap!" Brolli said.
"You will have to pay for that!" Reimu said as Brolli ran away and tripped on the stairs and stumbled all the way down. It was painful.
A/N: So here's the newest chapter and MANY more characters are present to f*** up Arturo so badly. Also Brolli badly attempts to scam Reimu.