Right, "Camp Castaways"! Oh yeah, and the Survivor reference...yeah, it's based on Jon from Pearl Islands. His alias was "Jonny Fairplay" because, according to him, he doesn't play fair. And yes, his lie about his grandma having died has become infamous in the show. In the reunion, his grandma actually looked pretty young to be the grandmother of an adult.

From the day the nex t challenge was meant to start, it began raining. We spent the whole day huddled on the cabin decks under cover, and according to Chris, we'd spend the next day in the craft tent. Well, it was better than having Heather paint her nails and tease Gwen about getting frown lines, and me about my roots getting more noticeable.

"Why don't you just put us out of our misery and vote yourself off?" Gwen scowled at her.

"So nice to see you three getting along." Duncan teased from the boys' cabin steps. "Gives me the warm fuzzies."

"In your dreams, perv." Heather shot back.

"Don't think you have anything to worry about." I told her. "No guy at camp would be interested in you. Heck, no one who watches the show would be interested." (I should note here that the only relationship that Heather ever got into after this season involved someone who was actually worse than her).

Owen spent most of the afternoon in the confessional. I went to bed before he came back, in fact.

And the next day, it was sunny again. That would've been fine...if it wasn't for the fact that we woke up somewhere other than our cabins. I was woken by a scream and a splash.

"Did you get split ends, Heather?" I muttered sarcastically before opening my eyes. Then I nearly screamed too.

We were in the water, among all the stuff in our cabins and not much else. Somehow, we'd been set adrift after we went to sleep.

Luckily, the boys' cabin was floating nearby, so the sharks didn't get us (although some leeches attacked Heather).

Owen had disappeared completely. Apparently, he'd never come to bed that night.

We eventually ended up on land, but we didn't know whether it was Wawanakwa, or somewhere else. We didn't recognize it, so it was definitely nowhere near camp.

"Okayy..." said Gwen. "Is anyone else a little creeped by this deserted island?"

"P-lease!" snapped Heather. "Anyone can see that this is one of Chris' cheesy production sets with fake props."

"Like how the psycho killer thing was a hoax?" I challenged. "Me and Gwen had to face a real one, remember?"

Heather kicked one of the rocks, and her face changed. Obviously real.

"Drama queens, we've obviously just drifted downstream." Duncan stated coolly. "The producers will send a search party."

"I doubt it." I sighed. "After so many people in this show defied death, no one's gonna come looking for teenagers gone missing."

Later on in the confessional, I recounted "Stuck on an island with my best female and male friends on this show, and Survivor's Jonny Fairplay of this reality show. Except with darker, longer hair and no 'dead grandma' lie. I didn't know how I was going to survive."

Duncan decided to just stay put for the search party, while Gwen suggested building a raft. They started arguing, until Heather cut in "Duh. We're not lost. This is just Chris' lame attempt at challenging our shipwrecked survival skills. I'm on to you, Chris!"

I scowled at Heather. "And you aren't doing anything, because that worked soooo well last time you did that." I said sarcastically. "If this is another challenge, I'm going to start putting those skills to the test myself, just like when I followed the rules of horror movies. Doing nothing in a survival challenge or taking a shower alone in a horror movie challenge...it's no wonder you've lost everything since your only ally left."

Then we found the T-Rex skull and the treehouse. Well, Heather was screaming, so we all ran up to see what the problem was, and we had to agree, Duncan was probably wrong about just drifting further downstream. Maybe Gwen's idea to build a raft was the best idea.

Heather started saying that it was a survival challenge again, acting like it was her idea and ignoring me. Gwen continued insisting that this was real and we should build a raft. Duncan was convinced that the producers would try to find us in any case.

"I'm with Gwen." I said. "I think this is just a challenge, but then it would show initiative to build a raft and paddle back to camp, but because we don't know how far away we are, we need to get food before anything."

None of us could agree. "Fine." Duncan said. "Then let's make a new rule: Every camper for themselves."

"Fine!" the rest of us chorused. I went to find food, which was actually not that hard. Coconut and banana trees were everywhere. Even pineapples were around. After that, I went to see if I could find Gwen. If she was building a raft, no way was I missing out on getting on there.

Heather had a bunch of chocolate bars from a stash Owen had been keeping, but she refused to share after our agreement.

Gwen finished her raft, and began pushing it out. "Gwen, wait up!" I called. "Can I come? I've got food."

Duncan had a huge egg he'd taken from somewhere, and offered it in exchange for a ride, so Gwen reluctantly let both of us on.

Heather gasped. "Hey, you can't just form an alliance and leave me!"

"Bye, Heather, good luck." was Gwen's only reply.

"Don't go! Don't go – if you come back, I'll let you have Owen's bars!"

"We don't want them, Heather." I called to her calmly. "You won't starve as long as you have them."

Guess what. We only ended up on the other side of the same island. After my two friends got into another argument, I left them, and suddenly I heard another scream.

"What's gotten into Heather now?" I muttered, trudging back to find the treehouse she had been in. As it turned out, she was screaming about some weirdly familiar wild guy trying to climb up. "Get away from me!" she cried, throwing stuff at him. After a chocolate bar knocked him down, he picked it up. "Mmmm...Mallowmars..."

Both Heather and I stared at the chubby guy with the blonde beard in the loincloth.

"...Owen? Is that you?"

Heather jumped down from the treehouse and started snapping at him for scaring her, but he seemed happy to see her. "Heather! Is it really you? You're not a mirage?"

I stepped up. "Yes, Owen, keep pulling her hair to make sure she's real. You don't need to do it to me, though. I'm real." I sniffed. "Have you been in the outhouse all this time? Because I can tell."

Suddenly, Gwen and Duncan, both screaming, fell at our feet. Whatever they'd been having trouble with, they were both back. Owen was thrilled to have us all together.

That was when the python came, and we had to take refuge in the treehouse.

It was so boring, but there were bunks and it was a relatively nice place, so it wasn't too uncomfortable. Well, no, it was, but that was because Owen had befriended a coconut and seemed to think it was real. Its name was...Mr Coconut. Oh, that's original.

"That's it!" Heather finally snapped. "I am done with this game! I can't work with you guys any more because you're all crazy!"

"You say that like you're not." Duncan said, rolling his eyes.

"I am the only one left on this show with a shred of sanity."

"And this coming from the girl who changes friends more often then I change socks."

I rolled my eyes at this. "And this is why I've only dated a few times." I said.

"Which is so not often enough, by the way." Heather snapped. "At least I've got my game on."

"Yeah, but you could turn the meanness part of you off, right?" I quipped. "At least I'm only mean when people deserve it."

We had another little panic when Gwen insisted the producers thought we were dead and Owen freaked out, screaming that he'd never had a date. But when he calmed down, he said "Guys, you know what we have to do?"

"Run for our lives and leave you and Mr Coconut behind?" quipped Duncan.

"No, we need to confess our sins!" Owen said in a very serious tone. "Seriously, I confessed all my sins and it felt great! Don't you wanna clear your conscience before you die?"

We all exchanged glances. Owen had a point.

I won't tell you what everyone said, because it was their secret. But I told them all about Hillwood. About dating a little kid and letting him make me feel lust. About stealing one of my neighbour's many pink books she'd written her poems in and revelling in her big secret.

An hour later, Duncan finished telling his story. "So that's what you went to juvie hall for." Gwen said, wide-eyed.

"Yeah," Duncan said , "But at least it's not as bad as what Stephanie did."

"Like I had a choice." I said sarcastically. "And even if I had willingly made out with him, it's nowhere near as bad as what Heather did."

"I admit it was a little unorthodox," Heather said primly, "But it doesn't come close to what Gwen did, it that's even your real name."

But in spite of what Owen said, none of us really felt any better for having confessed our sins. We had to get out. And there was smoke nearby. Just in case it was a trick, we armed ourselves with weapons and face paint, and Owen knocked out the python with Mr Coconut.
"Why didn't you do that hours ago?" Gwen hissed.

"What, and miss out on all our bonding?"

I gave a sigh. "Owen, you are one strange guy."

So we followed the smoke, and ran in, all yelling and brandishing our weapons.

"Hey, guys, it's about time you showed up."

It was just Chris and Chef.

It turned out that it was the production crew's secret location. All we were going to do that night was go to the campfire pit. Again. So we had to vote someone off. Again.

I voted for Owen, this time. Too nice. Too much of a threat in that way. Heather could go next, and then I wanted to have Duncan gone. That would leave Gwen and I in the final two. She was the only one I'd actually not feel bad losing to. Well, yeah, it would suck that she got the money and not me, but still.

Anyway, it wasn't like I'd made any promises and I wasn't going to write down these ideas, but those were my plans.

But as it was, Mr Coconut was voted off. I thought that meant I was safe, but then...

"Now for the original camper that was voted off..." I swallowed. Everyone else had a marshmallow.

"It can't be!" I whispered.

"Stephanie!" Chris grinned. "You've been voted off with him!"

I gave a sigh. "This sucks. Well, bye, guys." Owen had lost the beard and loincloth and was dressed back in his shorts and T-shirt, so I hugged him first. "I'll miss you, big guy."

Next, I hugged Duncan, harder. "Play hard." I murmured. "I'll tell Courtney you miss her, yeah?" I gave him a very fast, dry kiss on the cheek, just as a sign of friendship, and he gave me a friendly shove on my way.

"Go on, Stephie, get outta here." he said teasingly.

Last, I hugged Gwen. "You better win." I told her sternly. "And even if you don't, beat Heather. If she wins, I will give you hell."

Gwen smiled. "Thanks, Steph."

I just waved to Heather. "Bye, Unfairplay. I refer you to what Lindsay said to you when she left. I really hope karma catches up to you."

Then I walked down the dock, my head held high, and stepped into the Boat, letting it take me away.

So yes. That's where Stephanie got to – the final five. Not too bad, right?