Ugh, I know a lot of people hate this episode. Heck, I don't exactly love it. Thanks for reviewing, SuperKitty4789, DannyPhantom619 and RebelToasters12.

As we walked back, Courtney whispered to me "I think we should get Beth to join our alliance."

"No dice." I whispered back. "Beth's sweet, but last time she joined an alliance..." I let my voice trail off. Courtney knew all about what happened to Beth last season.
"That was with Heather." the brunette brushed it off. "You're friends with her, aren't you? If you help me talk her into joining, we'll get to the final three. Then the two of us can vote Beth off and we'll be in the final two!"

I fingered the friendship bracelet Beth had given me. I didn't want to betray her like that. But as I reminded myself again, it was a competition. And hey, if it got us to the final three, Beth and I could join forces and vote Courtney off instead.

That night, I started thinking about Roxanne again. Was she watching? What did she think? Well, I guess she knew that I wanted to know...

"What's up, Steph?" the blonde who appeared in my dreams smiled. "You wanted to know what I thought of your alliance with Courtney?"

I nodded.

"To be honest, I don't like it." Roxy's face clouded. "I don't like Courtney this season, actually. I liked her last season, but this time she's been way too competitive. The reason Harold voted Leshawna off was because Courtney told him the girls were going to vote him off if he didn't. Beth told him to vote for Duncan earlier, but Harold believed Courtney instead. That's why he was crying that he made a mistake at elimination that night."

I shrugged. "I wish she hadn't been voted off. But I guess someone had to go. And to be honest, while I like Leshawna, I like Duncan more. I know he's a threat – that's why I thought about voting for him, but..."

"You let fate decide, I know." Roxy said. "You got Justin, by the way. Otherwise Leshawna and Duncan would've tied – I get to see behind the scenes. Courtney and the guys all voted for Leshawna. The other girls voted for Duncan."

"So..." I said.

"So what?" Roxy shrugged. "I can't stop what happens. But remember what I said last time we talked – don't underestimate Beth. That's what Courtney's doing. You five left are still there because of something about you, and let me tell you, Beth is the last person you want to go against in the finale. She'll get all the support, because she gets through things because she's nice."

I grinned. "Well, I thought 'nice' didn't describe me. But Beth's stil uncoordinated and clumsy at times. I think I could crush her."

Roxy shrugged. "I can't do any more than warn you. I'll talk to you after the show is over, all right? Bye for now."

Even after we took a break the next day, everyone was still trying to recover from the rock 'n' roll challenges. Fun they had been, but they were also tiring. Add that to the fact that Duncan had already been exhausted by sharing Lindsay's reward for the mystery challenge (apparently their movie night had been awkward as hell and he got a headache from staying up all night), and we had four tired out teens and one almost burned out delinquent.

I spent most of the day hanging out with Beth. I figured that if Courtney and I were going to tempt her into an alliance, I might as well be friendly, and I was sure she would be missing Lindsay. Plus, she was the only person left who had been a Killer Grip through the whole season.

That evening, Courtney started in on making the alliance happen. Beth was turning in early, holding her picture of her "boyfriend".

"Well, Brady and I are going to bed." she said.

I shrugged. "Maybe I'll turn in too. I'm pretty tired."

"Come on, guys!" Courtney said pleadingly. "You can't both go to sleep this early!" She looked directly at me, and I knew what she was saying. I joined her on the top bunk she'd claimed for herself.

"Well...I guess I'm not that tired." I shrugged. "But this isn't strenuous, right?"

"Yeah, sure." Courtney shrugged. "I was just going to suggest we all watch a romcom on my PDA. Beth, you coming?"

"Come on, you have to join us." I added. "And back me up on choosing a horror movie or something – I'm not letting Courtney make me watch a romcom!"

"No thanks." Beth answered. Courtney tried again, offering her snacks, but Beth wasn't quite as naive as we thought. "Tempting," she admitted, "But...I'm never gonna form an alliance with you, so you can find another sucker!"

Courtney didn't look especially shocked, just angry. I was shocked. Instantly, I climbed down from Courtney's bunk and went over to Beth. "Look, Beth...we're sorry. We were trying to lure you into an alliance, but we knew you'd never join if we just asked you straight. I know you don't like Courtney – after all, who does? - but I'm going to admit something to you." I whispered into her ear "I've been in an alliance with Courtney for the last few episodes out of necessity. If you vote with me next elimination episode, we can try to get Harold on our side and vote her off!"

Beth smiled, and said in a low voice "I don't like lying. But what about I agree to a girl alliance tomorrow? Although, I should let you know that it's only on trial. One more move I don't like from you or Courtney and it's over. I'm not on board with any mean tricks."

I nodded. "Tell Courtney tomorrow, then. 'Night, Beth."

I turned to Courtney. "Does Beth not wanting to hang out with us mean the movie thing is off? Cause if it is, I'm gonna hit the sack."

Courtney yawned, although I was pretty sure that was just for show, so she didn't have to use her beloved PDA for entertainment. "Come to think of it, I'm pretty tired myself. Goodnight, guys."

We were woken by a gong, and the first thing I noticed was the breeze. The second thing was that we were outside, and I sat up quickly. Why did no one ever wake up when something like this happened, being moved at night?

Duncan was the first person to speak up. "Oh man, we're back at Camp Wawanakwa!" Well, in a little clearing on the island, anyway.

"Major deja vu." I groaned. "I swear, if I leave the show at this time again, I'm going to seriously damage Chris. Especially since the next challenge is meant to be for rewards only."

Chris came out in an Asian martial arts uniform. "Honourable competitors," he began, "Welcome to the Total Drama kung fu reward challenge, shot on location here in the beautiful Japanese woods! Today, we pit girls against boys."

"But we outnumber the guys!" I protested. "Do they get a handicap or something, like in the Tri-Armed Triathalon?"

Chris shook his head. "Only two of the girls are competing today. You three can pick who sits out."

I winked at Beth. "Courtney!" both of us chorused.
"What?!" began the brunette, but there was nothing she could do. We didn't think she deserved to win a reward.

"Courtney it is." Chris agreed.

Chris told us that the first part of the challenge was that each team, boys vs girls, chose one person to train the other to fight. Then, the people being trained would fight each other. We had four hours. Meanwhile, Chris pulled Courtney aside and started telling her something.

"Seen any kung fu movies?" I asked Beth. The shorter girl shook her head, and I gave a sigh. "I guess it's up to me to be the trainer, then. That okay with you?"

Well, Beth seemed happy to do that. But I wasn't going to go easy on her. I warned her "This is going to be tough. My little sister says I'm mean, and trust me, I can be. Expect criticism, Beth. I might occasionally be impressed, but don't hold your breath because you'll be disappointed."

Beth nodded, dejected.

"Okay, so first, agility and reflexes!" I said. I kept her standing in uncomfortable positions without wobbling within the hour, and reacting to things quickly. Then, I forced her to do countless push-ups. Meanwhile, Duncan was making Harold do push-ups while standing on him, so I managed to build Beth's strength up, so she could push up with me and a log on top of her.

Courtney mostly watched. After Chris had spoken to her, she wandered around, looking bored. But a few times, she came up to Beth and I. "I'm not allowed to help," she admitted, "But I'm allowed to encourage.." She was a great cheerleader. It actually did seem to help Beth work harder without angering her. And Courtney even whispered a few ideas to me of what to make Beth do to help train her. And I had to admit – they were good ideas. Three and a half hours in saw Beth able to knock over a tree with a few kicks. Even better, it looked like Beth was softening up towards Courtney a little bit. It would take a few sacrifices on her part, but it would be worth it to get Beth to vote with us...or at least, with me. Although, weirdly enough, Courtney disappeared about an hour before we were due to finish.

On the other hand, I did occassionally catch a glimpse of Duncan training Harold, and I could tell Beth wouldn't have an easy time beating him. Duncan set up a punching bag for Harold with him drawn on it as motivation. Harold punched it, but didn't really show any true anger until Duncan said "Did I mention I kissed Leshawna?" Harold didn't think rationally about that, or he'd have known nothing like that happened. But Duncan's ploy worked. Harold not only punched the bag, but punched through it and attempted to strangle Duncan.

But soon, our time was up. Chris called us back to the clearing we'd woken up in for the Beth vs Harold showdown, now turned into an outdoor dojo.

Chris showed us the two fighting suits for the fighters. The trainers would control them.

"So what the heck was all that training for if I can't even control my own arm?" Harold questioned.

"It's a lesson in Zen, oh student." Chris grinned, tossing Duncan and I the controls.

"You mean grasshopper, Chris." I corrected. "That's what you call students."

After Beth got into the robot suit, I tested what I was doing with the controls. "How's that feel, Beth?" I called.

"Kinda weird." Beth admitted. "But you controlling me doesn't hurt."

On the other hand, Duncan had worked out how to use the controls and was repeatedly beating up his 'student'. "Hey, Harold, stop kicking yourself!"

If Duncan took the match this seriously, this would be a cinch. Unfortunately, I knew that he wouldn't.

Oh, and as for Courtney, it turned out that she'd spent the hour before being called back dressing up as a Japanese geisha (yeah, kung fu is apparently Japanese now – Harold even pointed out that it was Chinese), who would sound the gong for the match to start.

"Let the match begin!"

I wished momentarily that I'd played more video games with Bart. He was the best in our house at video games. Sure, I played them, but not enough to win this match.

To be honest, I was proud of the fight I put up. But it was nowhere near enough to win. In fact, Duncan's mad skills in video games were enough to break Beth's robot suit apart.

"Beth!" I cried, running over to her. Yes, Beth was fine. But the boys had won, and would compete for the reward.

Us girls were sent to the kitchens to make "kung fu noodle soup", while the boys had to climb a cliff with water to a bonsai tree and a kung fu master. When I say the girls – Courtney came with us too.

"I wouldn't have been sentenced to this if you could work a joystick!" Courtney snapped at me. "Or if you could take a punch." she added, glaring at Beth.

"Hey, don't blame either of us!" I snapped. "My joystick snapped, and you know that Beth wasn't exactly in control either!"

The noodle soup included noodles, and seven deadly fish – pirahnas, fugu, electric eels, jellyfish, swordfish, shark, and giant octopus. And Chef wasn't going to help us.

I exchanged glances with Beth. "Alliance?" I mouthed. She nodded, with a sly look at Courtney.

At first, Beth claimed she was allergic to live fish, and in the end, Courtney was offering to take care of the fish.

"You have to help me, though, Steph." she added. "You know, since we're good friends, right?"

I smirked at her. "No, we're not friends, Courtney. And I'm allergic to fish, too. You haven't seen me eating seafood, have you? Because I can't! Sorry, I'm sticking with Beth."

The two of us were the ones manipulating Courtney into an alliance, instead of Courtney and I manipulating Beth. Courtney even let Beth call her boyfriend on her PDA...if he was real. Well, I couldn't hear anything from the other side. Just Beth saying "No, I miss you more...no, I miss you more..." blah blah blah.

"Hey, Courtney," I said, "If this alliance works out and we're all friends here, then you'd totally be okay with letting me call my family, wouldn't you?"

"Isn't that a long distance call?" Courtney looked horrified. "You're from the USA!"

"Fine, I guess I'll just have to make sure you have no allies..." I said innocently.

"Okay, call them!" Courtney burst out. "Just..don't spend too long."

I shrugged. "Hey, tell you what. If I win the million, I'll pay you back for the call. If you win...well, you won't need the money."

So yeah, while Courtney battled the fish and Beth and I took turns with the noodles, I got to call my family. I knew from the time difference that it would be a couple of hours after Bart and Lisa got home from school and Maggie from kindergarten, and I figured Dad would be home by that time, too. And Mom would definitely be home, so I dialed our land number.

Mom answered. "Hello?"

"Hey, Mom." I said. "Can you get it on speaker phone? I wanna talk to everyone and I don't have much time."

"Stephanie?" Mom gasped. "I can't believe it!" I heard her calling everyone.

Lisa was the first to speak to me. "Stephanie? Have you gotten kicked off? We just saw the episode with the fairytale theme – did you get kicked off after Justin? Who else is gone? I just sent you a letter about it! Are you at the Aftermath studio?"

"No." I answered. "Hear that screaming in the background? We're supposed to be making kung fu noodle soup, and that's Courtney. She let me borrow her PDA to call you."

"How'd you do that?" Lisa asked. "She wasn't pleased when Beth was caught with it."

"Let's just say she's desperate for an alliance." I said slyly. "She let Beth call her...uh, 'boyfriend'." I said.

"Can you tell us some spoilers?" Bart asked eagerly.

I smiled to myself, and said in a low voice "Lindsay just went. She voted herself off." I said. "And three words for today: kung fu movies."

"Oh, oh!" Dad said. "Steph, can you tell the blonde that I want her to give you all her fashion tips? I'd like to have a supermodel like her for a daughter."

"Da-ad!" Lisa and I groaned in unison.

"Trust me, I've been sitting through Lindsay's fashion tips already." I said.

"And modelling is a waste of her true talent!" Lisa Lionheart said. "She's got better things to do than copy that Justin guy."

When I ended the call that afternoon, I was feeling great. Dad hadn't truly forgotten me. Everyone missed me. And I hadn't realized how much I missed them, especially Maggie.

By the end of the day, Courtney, Beth and I had all formed a girl alliance. And I was feeling confident that I would survive the next challenge.

Finally, it's over! Stupid episode.