Animal buddies, anyone? To be honest, I'm hopeless with animals. But Stephanie has Santa's Little Helper and Snowball at home, so...oh, and I changed the animal she got. Thanks for reviewing, SuperKitty4789 and DannyPhantom619.

As it was, I was right. Courtney just wanted to talk things over with Duncan...meaning, they got back together, but she'd gone through literally hundreds of things he had to change if he wanted the relationship to work. That was thirty-two pages that Courtney expected Duncan to memorize.

It was Beth who told me. I'd been able to sleep, but she was a light sleeper, and heard some of what was going on through the trailer walls. She didn't know exactly how many transgressions Courtney had outlined, but she knew it was over two hundred.

Duncan wasn't at breakfast when Beth and I arrived. Courtney was already there, but she wasn't eating – just moving her fork around with a dreamy look in her eyes.

"So, Courtney," Beth said, "You and Duncan, huh?"

"Yeah, it was nice to finally work things out between us." Courtney said. Well, at least the night's events had put her in a good mood. That was something.

"So are you guys back together?" I asked bluntly.

"Kind of." Courtney said carefully. "I think we are. I told Duncan exactly what I expect of him, and I think he listened for once, so we're good."

Duncan finally arrived, dark circles under his eyes. "Hey, babe." he greeted Courtney.

The brunette whirled around and glared at him. "Duncan! I thought we agreed only I would engage in the use of pet names. It's right there on page three, section five!"

I exchanged glances with Beth, as Courtney continued "You promised to memorize that letter, verbatim."

"I will, I will," Duncan muttered, "I'm just really tired right now. Aren't you?"

"Don't worry, I forgive you, just like I forgave the other three hundred and sixteen transgressions I outlined in my letter, but, I expect you to memorize that letter so it doesn't happen again."

"Anything for you, ba...Courtney."

"You may hold me now."

"Cool."

I turned to Beth again and whispered "Whipped."

"Totally." she agreed. "Those two are so sickening."

"I feel sorry for Duncan." I murmured. "I can't believe he's not allowed to call her anything. I personally thought she secretly liked him calling her Princess."

Chris came in to announce that today's genre would be the animal buddy flick. He even had a parrot on his shoulder to show that he was getting into the spirit.

Yeah, none of us were interested in learning to bond with an animal, especially not one like Chris' parrot, who pecked him and probably ended up half-dead, since he left and came back covered in feathers. And our first challenge was to teach an animal to be just like us. We had to choose between a shark, a raccoon, a chameleon and a spider monkey. They all looked pretty ferocious.

"I've got the shark!" Courtney yelled out. "The shark's mine!" She hugged the tank it was in. "Yes!"

"I want the spider monkey." I said firmly. "Cause they have the energy to bring it!"

"I'll take the chameleon," Duncan offered, "In tribute to my beloved reptilian friend Scruffy."

"Guess that leaves this little guy." Beth said, walking over to the raccoon. "I've always had a soft spot for vermin." She reached out to the cage. "Shake a paw?" The thing tried to claw her.

"Please tell me this cute little creature has been tested for rabies!" Beth pleaded to Chris.

"Natch." Yeah, like I believed that. Anyway, we had three hours to train the animals. Sadly, my monkey spent two hours climbing up a tree and throwing down anything it could pick off the branches.

I gave a sigh. "Fine, don't come down. Who cares?" And then, at that point, the monkey came down and stood to attention.

I smiled, getting an idea of what it was doing. "Okay...don't do anything I say. And don't act like me." The spidermonkey shrugged, made a little 'I don't care' screech, and from then on, copied everything I did. Whenever I seemed particularly annoyed at it, it seemed to love mocking me.

That gave me a chance to watch everyone else. By this time, Duncan was threatening his chameleon, trying to make it colour itself like his mohawk. Meanwhile, it looked like Beth's raccoon was training her more than she was training it. And Courtney was having trouble with the shark. Right now, she was trying to teach it a cheerleading routine.

"Okay, here we go!" she coached. "F-I-S-H-Y, you ain't got no alibi, you fishy, uh-huh, you fishy, uh-huh, come on, get your fins up! Fins up, come on get your fins up! Get your fins up!" As she did this, Duncan began watching too, clearly enjoying the view.

"Okay, from the top!" Courtney snapped, starting the routine all over again, when it was pretty clear the shark wasn't going to be able to copy a cheerleading routine.

I went to the confessional just before Chris called us to show off our results. "It's basic psychology on a lower level. I am so glad I chose the smartest creature." My monkey gave a little screech as if it was giggling. "Hey, are you going to do what I say now?" I asked it.

The monkey made a little screech that sounded like it meant "No way!" Which is exactly what I would do.

When Chris called us up, I was on pretty good terms with it, although it still did the opposite of everything I said.

Beth was the one who noticed Courtney's crutch and bandages. "Courtney, you look terrible!"

"You should see the other guy." Courtney muttered.

I chuckled. "Maybe you should've chosen something other than a vicious sea creature."

Beth was called up first. "Sorry, Chris." she apologized. "I was totally unable to teach my raccoon anything." But weirdly enough, the raccoon acted like Beth. When she realized she'd lost her retainer, it found it for her. She got ten out of ten.

"Okay, spider monkey," Chris said, "Show us your best Stephanie impression."

"Okay, now don't copy me." I hissed to the spider monkey, giving Chris my best couldn't-care-less look. The spider monkey jumped on my shoulder and copied my posture. I got nine. So okay, I hadn't won, but Chris definitely knew that I was good.

"Next."

Duncan signalled to his chameleon and it immediately went neon green. He got an eight.

"Courtney, you seem to be short one animal buddy." Chris said.

"It...uh...it couldn't make it!" Courtney said. She held up a plate. "Sashimi, anyone?" Chris and Chef took one piece each.

"Where's you'd get fresh fish and-" Chef began, but then he stopped, seeing the implications. If Courtney didn't have the shark...and she had fresh sashimi, then the shark was...

Courtney looked cross at the very idea that the sashimi was the shark. "As if I'd be that cruel! I gave the shark a nice roundhouse to the belly and it coughed up its lunch – from his stomach to yours!"

She got no marks at all. Beth won the challenge.

We had an hour's break, and our animals did too. My spider monkey actually started chattering to the raccoon, who chattered back. Almost like Beth and I being friends.

I hung out with Duncan, who was reading the letter Courtney had written. "How many rules have you memorized so far?" I asked.

"Only the ones I've nearly broken." Duncan muttered. "Leave me alone for once, Stephie. I have to get this done."

I shrugged. "You're wasting your time." I said over my shoulder. "If Courtney really liked you, she wouldn't try to make you change so many things about yourself."

After that hour, Chris took us to the forest. Our challenge was to walk the ten miles back to the film lot with our animal buddy's help.

"But be careful." Chris warned us. "Several life-threatening traps have been set up along the way."

"Who would do such a thing?" Beth exclaimed.

"Um, me?"

"Obviously." I muttered to my new buddy, who high-fived me as we laughed at Beth's innocence together. I'd already given the creature a name – Tarantula. Get it? Spider monkey?

Courtney was absent. According to Chris, she was with her shark. Okay, well, I was determined to get back first. With Duncan on Courtney's side and Beth not being a major target, I was sure I'd be off the show if someone else won. With the way Duncan was right now, he'd vote for whoever Courtney told him to vote for, and even if Beth voted with me, it would result in a tie.

As a matter of fact, I did arrive first. The spider monkey leapt through the trees ahead of me, and seemed to know the way back. But around ten minutes later, Beth came running up. And because she'd won the first challenge, she got thirty minutes off her time and won invincibility.

We had to wait overnight until Courtney showed up, shaking. "PDA withdrawal." she explained. As for Duncan, he'd gone completely savage.

Beth's raccoon came running up about an hour later, with Courtney's PDA. She snatched it up. "Give me that! Beth, how did your rat get its filthy paws on my PDA?"

"Mr Whiskers found it washed up on the shore this morning." Beth told her, very seriously.

"You bonded so well with him!" I exclaimed. "I mean, I liked Tarantula, but we agreed that we're better off not being around each other."

Duncan was still acting weird. In fact, he didn't go back to normal until Courtney kissed him. Seriously, that's all it took him.

At the awards ceremony, I voted for Courtney. No contest. She HAD to go.

"The Gilded Chris goes to..." Chris began, "Beth, and...Stephanie! Courtney, since everyone else voted for you, it's time for your ride home! The last Gilded Chris goes to Duncan!"

"What?" shrieked Courtney. "Duncan voted for me?!" She kept yelling as she left. "How could you do this to me? After everything! We are so done!"

And that was it. The final three. We knew that the final challenge would knock out two of us. And the winner would be...yeah, well, I hoped it would be me.

I think she has a chance. Do you?