Here we are dudes, next one. Got another rant for you guys from another one of my stories. I received a couple of stupid reviews for my other story because I tried to explain that sh*tty stories are sh*t. Like if it was news to anyone that these stories are bad? Frankly, i just think that part of this is relevant so- Anyway:
So pretty much over 95% of the reviews have been positive. In fact, I think there are less than 5 reviews that are even a bit negative. First off, do not leave a review that requires a response if you are a guest or if you have PMs disabled. You have a brain don't you? You understand that I cannot respond to you unless you have an account? Or I can't respond because you don't let people message you? Why would you ask a question if it cannot be answered? You want me to point you out like a f*cking moron? I can certainly do that but it's annoying. Anyway, the main point. I had a little rant about how sh*t many stories on this site are for being ludicrous and worthless and some f*ckin imbeciles decided to give their worthless opinions based solely on emotion rather than logical arguments.
First off, these dumbf*cks kept mentioning "NTR" when I literally never said it….I never mentioned NTR. But I guess they assumed I did because I said that OC/Self insert stories are sh*t. Here's the thing: THEY ARE. I have not read ONE SINGLE f*ckin OC/Self insert stories that are well written or enjoyable to read. They're all f*cking garbage. And the reason is because amateur authors don't know how to write original characters well and when they insert themselves it's just some stupid f*ckin wish fulfillment that is terribly cringey to read. It has nothing to do with NTR and sh*t, I wasn't even thinking about that, I was talking about stories that replace Issei mainly. Regardless, these stories are always sh*t That's my problem. Like of course I hate garbage that inspires more garbage.
Second, saying "tHiS iS fAnFiC" is NOT AN EXCUSE for justifying the creation of worthless garbage that serves no greater purpose whatsoever to the community other than inspiring more garbage. And don't you dare try saying you are writing something "for yourself" if you are uploading it. Because if you are uploading it under the guise that it's "just for you" then you are a egotistic f*ckin retard who is lying because if you didn't want others to praise your garbage you wouldn't upload it. If you upload it it's cuz you want someone to see it. At the very least, I can appreciate or forgive authors who acknowledge that they aren't good writers and are just writing because they have a passion for it, not a talent for it. If you realize you're not good at it but still want to try your best at making your own story then that I can respect. But if you just write it because "tHiS is fAnFiC. Let me just write some dumb sh*t cuz I hate Rias and I wanna see my OC f*ck everybody" then you are an absolute pathetic excuse of a writer who is doing nothing worthwhile with their time. You're not inspiring anything and nobody cares about what you're uploading. If you encourage that then your opinions are worthless and your credibility as a reviewer is null. (Of course this doesn't include lemons because porn is a whole different thing so you can't really shame that for the most part)
And lastly, to clear things up, I don't necessarily have problems with crazy stories in general, only crazy stories that are IMPOSSIBLE to write well. Like for example the one that got sent to me: OP Humanoid-Dragon Issei who was transformed by Great Red after unlocking his gear along with Juggernaut Drive for the first time, with Holy powers & Amaterasu powers with a Harem including: Yasaka, Kunou, Ophis, Xenovia, Grayfia, Tiamat, Kuroka, Katase, Aika, and Jeanne- who he can make his servants through some sort of Dragon transformation sh*t that doesn't make sense?! Do you understand now?! Can you make sense of that?! Do you think it would ever be possible for any writer to write such an atrocity properly?! NO. IT'S F*CKING GARBAGE. Not because it's crazy, but because it's so crazy YOU CAN'T WRITE IT WELL. And don't say "It's just for fun" because if you find such an impossible mess of incoherent bullsh*t "fun" then you are F*CKING BRAINDEAD (or you're laughing at it ironically). Well…...I suppose I'm stupid for trying to convince some meaningless unthinking reprobates…..But hey…..I'm petty like that.
Well, the majority of you didn't even have to read that tbh because most of you are great. It's really like 3 people I think. So for those of you who so badly wanted a response to your sh*t comments, here you f*ckin go.
P.S. The ones who said the dumbest sh*t were actually all just guest readers. Go figure.
Hahahahaha. So yeah that's the rant. I found it funny afterword but in all honesty it's still completely valid as an argument. It all still makes sense so it's fine. And I really wanted to get that PM part in there because as I said most reviews are positive and when I receive positive reviews I always respond to them personally. I read every single review after all. And many of you probably have gotten a message from me saying thanks or something so yeah just enable PMs if you ever want to ask a question or have a concern about the stories. Anyway, Lone Dragon Emperor blew up and is still growing really quickly so thank you for that. Other than that Golden Light has been updated and will be updated again soon…...The lemon story is currently under production….But don't expect something normal….nothing too freaky…..But just not normal…sigh...Why me...
[Proofreading note pls read: OMFG. This chapter turned out so much better than I thought I just had to tell you guys omg. I hope you guys really enjoy this one because I'm so proud of it omfg it's so stupid. Even the chapter title is hilarious and you guys won't get it till the end but it's so worth it Lmao.]
-Scene-
DING - DONG- DING - DONG
Scribble….
"Ise."
The foolish protagonist was writing notes onto his papers as a Red haired beauty stood in front of his desk impatiently. A familiar scene.
The girl was once again tapping her foot furiously on the ground. One of her eyes began twitching.
Scribble…
This was a very familiar scene. Except:
Swipe!
Rias swiped the pencil from Issei's hands as he was writing.
….
He reached down into his bag and retrieved a replacement pencil.
"Ise!"
Slam!
She slammed her hands down onto the desk causing every student in the room to jump instinctively.
"We're going to the clubroom!"
…
"Can I finish my homework there?"
"Yes! You will come to the clubroom and we will talk about things and you will drink tea with us!"
…..
"I'm not drinking tea."
Rrr!
Rias immediately grabbed his arm and dragged him out of the room in seconds.
Minutes later….
Sip….
Rias was drinking tea from her cup at her desk with an angry expression. Meanwhile, Issei was sitting on the couch doing his homework on the coffee table.
Rias placed her cup down.
"Now, Ise. Would you care to explain why you didn't follow the last Fallen Angel yesterday?"
"I already told you when we were texting."
"No you did-!...Calm down Rias…..no arguing….."
Inhale - Exhale
Before Rias lost her temper she quickly took a breath while relaxing her shoulders.
"Okay Ise…..then at least can you tell me where he went?"
"I don't know. He went north when he ran off, but I don't actually know where he went. I'm sure I could've found him though."
"I see...where were you at when he ran off?"
"At the abandoned church."
"What?! Why?!"
"I told you I met a White Mage."
"I don't know what that means!"
"A white mage is a healer. You've never played any RPGs or MMOs?"
"That doesn't matter Ise! I'm asking you why you were at the church!"
"I met a White Mage."
"Ise-!"
"Buchou, please calm down. If you keep getting so angry your health will deteriorate."
Right as Rias was about to burst with rage, her best friend Akeno placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder to calm her. Rias rubbed her temples and took another breath.
"Okay Ise…..So you met a White Mage…...and for some reason you ended up at the church….is that where you encountered the last Fallen?"
"Yeah."
A wave of relief washed over her.
"Great!...So in that case, does that mean that he was using the church as his hiding place?"
"Well He tried."
"Hm...that could be a problem.."
Ignoring Issei's comment Rias began contemplating her next move.
'Hm….Hiding in the church could've been a problem...but considering that these are rogues…..and it is abandoned…..even so the church is still a Holy place…..but this is my territory. Not to mention, these rogues are essentially traitors. Plus, there wouldn't be any reason for the Heavens to concern themselves with such a place any longer…..'
She nodded her head. It appears she came to a conclusion.
"Okay, Ise. Do you know if he is still there?"
"Probably. His aura is still in the same place"
"You-...You can feel his aura from this far?..."
"I can feel everybody's aura."
"...I….see….Well, thank you Ise. That's all I need from you."
"So that's all you wanted to ask me?"
"Yes."
"Oh Okay. I'm gonna go then."
"No."
"Hm?"
As Issei was about to stand to leave Rias interrupted him.
"Stay Ise. There is still more I want to talk about."
"What's that?"
"Anything."
"What do you mean?"
"Like….Um...How was your day?"
Rias asked Issei a casual question, but truthfully she felt a bit embarrassed that she was even trying. It's just that her pride was damaged the day before when Issei flat out rejected her proposal to spend time with her in the clubroom.
"Mm. It was alright. Nothing different."
"...I see...Did you enjoy the tea?"
"No. I hate tea."
Rias was taken aback by Issei's harsh response with almost no hesitation. She could imagine her best friend taking offense to that despite her signature smile being on her face.
"Well….Everyone has their own tastes….Most of us in the club believe that Akeno's tea is delicious."
"Yeah, it's good tea."
"Oh...I see! So then It's just not to your tastes? That's understandable."
"Yeah, it sucks."
"...Oh…."
….
"I'm gonna go now."
"...Yes….We will see you tomorrow."
"Okay."
Issei grabbed his materials, placed them in his bag, and left the clubroom.
Hyoudou Household
"I'm home."
Issei announced his return to his home casually.
"Welcome back~!"
"Welcome back."
"Welcome back, Ryu-sama."
The ones who greeted him were the 3 women, Raynare, Kalawarner, and his now enthusiastic mother.
"You are in a good mood Mama."
"Ufufu~ Of course I am. I finally was able to buy some new kitchen appliances. Have you seen this pan~? Everything just slides right off~ Would you like an omelette honey~?"
"I thought you said omelettes were only for the morning."
"Oh, forget about that honey~ You can have whatever you want~ Dinner is almost ready but if you want something else you can go ahead and ask me. Thanks to this new model refrigerator I can store so much more produce in the house~ Would you like something cold? It even creates 3 different types of ice~"
His mother spoke gleefully while her face had sparkles and bubbles all around it. So much light was shining off of her that Raynare had a hard time cooking as she stood next to her, meanwhile Kalawarner was averting her gaze as to not go blind.
Sss…
Issei was always told not to stare up at the sun. His mother is not the sun, and for that reason he is still staring directly into the bright light with his eyes sizzling.
"So you bought stuff with what Kala got for work?"
"Yes~ I went shopping with Raynare-chan earlier and we were able to get so many new things~. And we still have a lot left."
Issei noticed that Kalawarner was casually sitting at the dining table while his mother rubbed against the New sleek silver model fridge and Raynare cooked.
"Did you already finish work Kala?"
"Yes, Ryu-sama. Accordingly, not every day is a very long day in terms of workload. Or perhaps that is because I handled his schedule and associates so easily? Nevertheless, it seems that I should be able to return from work at a similar time from your return from school, which is the optimum solution."
"Oh Okay. Cool."
Issei noticed the serious lack of blonde in his house.
"Where's Mito?"
"Mitlet? She seems to have gone on a hunt."
"Hunt? I like hunting."
Kalawarner raised a brow at Issei's statement.
"Ryu-sama and his father enjoy hunting?"
"Hm? I don't know about Pops. I've never gone hunting with him."
"Hm? What is It that you Hunt Ryu-sama?"
"Monsters mostly. But a lot of them aren't here so there's a lot of places I have to go to to find them. I hunt other things too, but those are really annoying to hunt so I kinda stopped doing it after I turned 12."
"What other things?"
Issei pointed towards himself and Kalawarner.
"Things like us."
"Things like us?"
"Yeah. Like you, me, Raynare and the Devils."
"!...Do….Do you mean people?.."
"No. Humans are people."
Kalawarner couldn't help but shiver a bit. She averted her gaze from Issei's blank expression.
"Hm? What's wrong Kala?"
"N-No! Nothing Ryu-sama!...I am alright….only thinking.."
"You're a weird girl Kala."
"...Y-Yes…"
Kalawarner had to remind herself that Issei was still the Sekiryuutei. There was no doubt that he had to encounter countless beings near or over his strength in order to become so strong. Not that she even knew of his true strength anyway. Issei sat in the seat next to Kalawarner.
"Well, it doesn't matter anyway. They were all evil so it wasn't really like hunting monsters. I feel bad for the monsters sometimes. Most of them aren't scary."
Kalawarner decided not to respond. The sound of the front door opening loudly ran through the house.
Dakun!
"I'm hoooome~!"
The one who entered the room from the hall was Mitlet. She was dressed in a black French maid outfit. She marched proudly ahead of Issei and the others with her head up high and a smug smile on her face. She halted before them with her chest puffed up with pride.
"Oh hey Mito."
"Hello Ryuchin."
"Who's that?"
"Ho~ Aren't you going to ask about my uniform?"
"Your cosplay?"
"Wha-?! This isn't cosplay you idiot! It's my uniform!"
"Oh!"
Issei looked as if he finally realized something.
"So which show is it from?"
"Rrgh! I just said-!"
"You got a job?!"
Raynare cut them off with a shout. Mitlet returned to her previous smug attitude.
"Hehehe~ Yep! That's right! I am now a professional just like Kala-chan!"
"No way!"
"Oh."
"Heeeeeh."
Mitlet proudly announced her employment. Raynare was shocked, Kalawarner was surprised more by her clothing, and Issei was just Issei acting surprised even though he looked like he didn't understand.
"Aaaaaah~! My little girls !"
Issei's mother immediately ran to Mitlet and brought her into an embrace.
"Ah~! What a good girl ! Truly our idiot son and family is not worthy of these Angels!"
Issei's mother tightly held onto Mitlet's small body and caressed her head while she squirmed uncomfortably. Meanwhile Raynare could not help but find some serious irony in her words.
"They aren't Angels anymore Mama."
"Wha-?! Hey Ryu!"
"Oh hush Ise! These girls are my little Angels! If only my son was similar then maybe I would be a happier Mama."
"I can't be like them. I'm a Dragon."
"Yes, because you're all strength and no brains. And you always bring home new women."
"Yeah."
The two Hyoudou's continued their banter. The irony was not lost on the girls. Raynare didn't even understand why she was worried.
"Speaking of which Mito-chan, what sort of job did you get?"
Issei's mother asked Mitlet curiously after just releasing her from her grip. She once again gained a smirk. Suddenly, she spun around and made a cutesy pose with a peace sign...
"Welcome back~! Master !"
…
"...Maid cafe."
Kalawarner muttered under her breath.
…..
"You're housekeeping?"
Of course Issei was still lost despite hearing Kalawarner's statement.
"No, Ryu-sama. She works at a Maid cafe."
"Oh. But she's still a Maid."
"No, Ryu-sama. She is a server."
"But people aren't servers, you play on servers. Unless you want to count Peer to Peer networks which isn't technically-"
"Ahem!"
Mitlet cleared her throat to catch their attention. For some reason she had to interrupt Issei explaining something odd that he inexplicably understood.
"Well, more importantly, what do you think Hm? Surprised?"
She asked proudly, expecting probably some shocked responses or the like.
"Not really. I never doubted that Mito would. I believed in you."
Issei said it very plainly. Mito originally had a smug smile when asking, but as the seconds rolled by her demeanor progressively became more reserved and slouched while her face got red.
"...I-Is that so?..."
"Yeah."
"W-Well….Good...then…"
"I didn't get to tell you guys yesterday, but that friend of yours Dona-something is at the church."
-!-
They were shocked by Issei's random declaration. Raynare questioned him immediately.
"What?! Donasheek is at the church?!"
"Yeah, he's there with a blonde White Mage and a crazy looking guy with a blue light sword. It doesn't have any batteries though."
"Freed!"
"No, his name is Creed."
"And a blonde White Mage? That must be the Gear user that we were supposed to have transported in!"
"Yeah her name was Europe."
"Asia."
"No, she was from Asia."
"Regardless, does that mean you met them Ryu?"
"Yeah I did yesterday. I told the Devils about them today."
" " "What?!" " "
All of the Fallen Angel girls exclaimed loudly, while Issei covered his ears and his mother was completely confused.
"Hm? What's wrong girls? Is something the matter?"
"A-Ah! N-No Kaa-san! It's alright! We're just talking about talking about-...Family! Yes! My uncle! He is uh-! He is in town and we need to go meet him!"
"Gasp! Raynare-chan's important family member! Something like this-! We need to prepare something to greet him! Oh I have to call your father! He'll need to take a sick day-! When are you bringing him?!"
Issei's mother suddenly became serious and started thinking about various things like she was in a rush. Raynare was taken aback by her reaction and didn't know how to respond.
"Eh-?! Um Um-! T-Tomorrow! He'll be visiting tomorrow! That's why-! We have to go and get him today! Right Ryu?!"
"Why wouldn't your uncle want to go to your parents house instead?"
For some reason Issei was not in on the lie.
"Oh don't be ridiculous Ise! We are her parents. All of these girls are mine. Don't be so stupid."
Raynare couldn't help but smile at her "mother's" declaration. Meanwhile Kalawarner blushed lightly and Mitlet gave a shy "Hmph!"
"W-Well anyway! It's already late so we have to go make sure he arrived to his hotel as quick as we can before nightfall! So if you don't mind Kaa-san we're gonna go pick him up from his stop! Together! All 3 of us!"
Issei's mother looked worried about the girls safety considering it was well past sunset and was just on the verge of becoming dark.
"Hmm...Are you sure? Your father and I can go check after he comes home ourselves."
"Y-Yes! After all, wouldn't you rather meet him when you've got everything prepared instead?"
"Hm...Well You're right but…..I suppose it should be fine as long as Kala-chan is with you."
"Yeah and I'm going with them so it should be okay right Mama?"
"No."
"Let's go you three!"
Raynare removed her apron and made a head start for the hall.
"Sorry Kaa-san! You'll have to finish dinner without me! We'll be back soon!"
"Be safe out there!"
She waved them off as they ran out of the house. When they stepped outside the door they stopped.
"Ryu, do you know where they are right now?!"
"Yeah. Two of them are at a house not far from here."
"Okay! We'll go there first."
Foom!
The girls released their wings.
"There's still light out. You sure you wanna fly?"
"We have no choice. The Devils are no doubt making their move. We'll stick to the shadows and trees or whatever else we can use. Either way, it'll be dark out in less than a half hour at most."
"Okay."
Foom!
Issei released his large wings. His wingspan was probably near 3 meters. At least a full meter longer than the girls and taller than their thin feathery ones and larger than their bodies in general.
"...Actually…...I think you should run instead…"
"Okay."
He retracted his wings and they quickly set off.
It didn't take them long to reach the house they needed to. The entire way there they were simply following Issei's aura from the air despite the fact that they couldn't see him. All they knew was that he was moving at an incredible speed. Soon enough they saw Issei standing outside of a random house and became confused as to why.
"Why'd you stop?"
"They're in here."
"What? How? I don't sense them."
"Probably cuz they're inside the barrier."
"Barrier? I don't sense a Barrier."
Issei tilted his head at Raynare's remark.
"If it exists then you can sense it. So how do you not know it's there?"
"..."
The fact that Issei could think so straightforwardly about something that was considered a complicated subject was a testament to his strength.
"Okay. I'm gonna go check inside. You guys can wait outside if you want in case that Donafreak shows up or something."
"Alright. If anything happens call us in."
"Mm."
Issei walked to the house. The door was already slightly open. He walked inside casually. The moment he stepped in a pungent smell attacked his nostrils. It smelled terrible. A familiar smell.
He made his way down the dark hallway towards a room that was dimly lit with yellow light. He stepped into the room. A living room. It was dark and lit by a few candles. He looked to his left.
The direction the smell was coming from. The putrid smell that he hated. The moment he turned towards the smell-
A body hanging upside down as if crucified.
"Ho? This smell isn't the smell of a Sh*tty Devil is it? Those who associate with Devils must be punished. Riiiight~"
The one who turned his head from the couch with a twisted smile was Freed Sellzen. His eyes met Issei's and-
"Ah, it's you…."
"Hey Creed."
…..
"You're not who I was expecting…"
"Can I see your sword now?"
….
Freed suddenly stood from the couch.
"Well no matter! If you're associated with those Sh*tty Devils then you deserve judgement! Hahahaha~!"
"Stop cursing. This isn't your house."
…..
"Looks like I'm gonna have to set you up just like our friend over there! Nyahahahaha~!"
Freed ignored Issei's comments and pointed towards the hanging man on the wall. His body was covered in Red liquid which ran down to the floor. There was something holding him up against the wall and a large red cross painted on the wall behind him.
His insides were hanging out-
"Ano….can you let me down now? I'm starting to get dizzy…"
Nevermind.
"Ah. Right my bad. It's already been like 2 minutes huh."
Freed said that nonchalantly as he cut the tape holding the man up and helped him down.
"Woah! My head felt really heavy there! Gotta sit down for a second."
"Oh here let me get those fake guts off your jacket."
"Does that blood paint wash off?"
"Yeah It's pretty easy to get off. Just gotta make sure you use more than water."
…
Issei waited patiently while Freed removed the props off of the man's clothes and he sat down on the couch.
….
That terrible smell that forced Issei to cover his nose with his shirt, the damn tea on the table in front of the couch the man sat on.
"Sorry bout that. That was kinda meant for the shi-. It was meant for the Devils that came to check but then you showed up. Looks like I'm gonna have to come up with a new one for when they show up."
Freed said that casually as he put his props into a large bag. Soon enough some footsteps came from down the hall and into the room.
"Mr. Freed, I'm done setting up the barrier, but I didn't know how to make it look like a [futuristic bubble shield?] Or whatever it was that you asked me. I'm sorry-"
She stopped when she caught view of Issei.
"Mr. Issei! What are you doing here?!"
"Hey Asia."
Asia looked horrified at Issei's appearance. The tension skyrocketed.
"No-! It can't be! Don't tell me-! Mr. Issei-! Could it be?! A-A-Are you a Devil?!"
-!-
.
.
.
.
"No."
.
.
"...Oh…"
…
"If you're not here with those Damn Devils then why the Hell are you here, dumbass?"
"Issei."
"I don't care."
"Ray and her friends want to talk to Donafreak."
"Donasheek."
"I thought you didn't care?"
…..
"Are you being smart with me?"
"Ray says that I'm strong but not smart."
"...Nevermind. Wait, who the Hell is [Ray]?"
"Raynare."
"Eh-? Ah! Raynare! The main hot Fallen lady who was supposed to be our leader! That's right! Donasheek did tell me that she was alive and she had betrayed us. So the others have betrayed us too huh! Well that's no biggie! Our plan is already underway! In fact-!"
"Kyaaah!"
Freed ran up to Asia and threw her over his shoulder.
"Mr. Freed-! What's going on?!"
"Sorry Asia-chan, but looks like we'll have to accelerate our plan! It's time for the ritual to take place! So with this I'll have to bid you farewell Japa-idiot! Sayonara!"
Freed took out a small ball shaped instrument with a button on it. He tossed it to the ground a bright light flashed through the house.
Pom!
"Ah! Mr. Isseeeeei!"
Sss…
As the light finally died down, the priest and his hostage were no longer there.
"Ano….so what's the name of the show you guys are filming again?"
….
Pakun pakun.
"Wha-?! Hello!"
Issei had already walked out.
Dakun.
When Issei exited the house the girls were floating in the air facing some trees next to the house.
"Freed!"
"Sh*t! I didn't think you would be out here all together! Looks like I'm gonna need some help after all! Oy! Donash*t! Get me outta here quick!"
Shin!
Suddenly, after Freed took out a communication device, from thin air a magic circle appeared and slowly created a form of light in the shape of a person.
"What? What do you want Freed? Have you already made contact with the Devils-"
…..
"Oh it's Donafreak."
….
After a few seconds of silence the atmosphere seemed to have taken a serious turn. Raynare and the other two tried to reason with their former ally.
"Donasheek!"
"What?! Raynare?! All of you?! What are you doing here?!"
"Donasheek we need to talk! You need to stop all of this! The Devils are already making their move! They won't show any mercy if you continue!"
"Hmph. I don't need a traitor like you worrying for me. If anything I could assume the same about you. How do I know you simply haven't become the whore to the lapdog Sekiryuutei?"
"Listen to us Donasheek. At the very least understand that this operation of ours is already a failure. There is no longer any point in continuing it."
"Yeah Donny! Just give it up! This whole plan was stupid anyway! There's no way we would've survived against the Devils when they found out! At least now we have a choice!"
"Hmph! Just as I thought. You're all as worthless as you've shamed others for being. How pathetic. Fear of death is all that encompasses your existence? What exactly were you expecting to accomplish with such weak wills? Heh! To believe I had called you allies. What a disgrace."
"Donasheek….please….."
"Bah! I've had enough of this! Freed! We're leaving. The ritual will be conducted shortly. If you truly wish to stop me then come! This time I will be ready to face off the Sekiryuutei! Farewell fools!"
"How is it farewell if we're about to see each oth-"
Shin!
Right before Issei's stupid question could ruin the atmosphere Donasheek teleported away with Freed and Asia.
"-Damn! We have to stop him before the Devils reach him! If they witness him conducting the ritual before we get there they'll have full authority to deal with him as they please!"
Raynare yelled out towards the others. They nodded seriously. Issei was still not very affected.
"Kala-chan! You can use Magic circles pretty good right?! Try takin' us to the church!"
"It will be difficult to take the 4 of us but I can certainly try."
"Ah. No that's okay. I'll just run there."
"Wha-?! There's no time Ryu! It's better to just take the circle!"
"Yeah but that'll be troublesome for Kala. It's better if I go on foot. I can get there real quick so it's no big deal."
Raynare looked conflicted, but at the very least, if the Devils are there they could stall for the couple minutes needed.
"Okay Ise. Don't take long!"
"Yeah."
"Let's go you two!"
The girls nodded and grouped together. Issei got into a squatting position. In only a few seconds Kalawarner activated a magic circle that began to transport them.
Shin!
DON!
Right before the light blinded their eyes, the girls heard a loud crashing sound.
…
After a second or two, they felt they had arrived and opened their eyes. They were standing in the yard in front of the church.
Sss….
Issei was also standing in front of them.
"Wha-?! Ise?! How did-?!"
Issei tilted his head.
He was standing in a large crater with smoke coming out from the bottom of his shoes.
Shin!
Right behind them another red magic circle presented itself.
"Ara, if it isn't our new Fallen friendlies. What brings you here?"
The ones who appeared were Rias Gremory and her peerage.
"Oh hey Rias-senpai. We're here to talk to DonaFreak."
"Are? Wasn't his name Donasheek?"
"No."
"I can never tell if you're intentionally teasing us or not Ise."
"Mama said that boys don't tease girls, girls tease boys."
"Well we certainly are better at it so I suppose your Mama is right."
"Mama is always right."
….
"I mean no-! That's not important. More importantly, what do you mean you're here to talk with Donasheek?"
"We just need to speak with him! We only need a few minutes so please give us some time!"
"Raynare? Hm. I'm not sure I can do that. I'm not as willing to waste time as Ise is."
"Please Rias Gremory! We're sure we can talk some sense into 'em! And if we can't we'll beat it into 'em!"
"Hmm…."
Rias took a second to think about it. Until she noticed that for some reason Issei was nowhere to be seen.
"Wha-? Where's Ise?"
-!-
Raynare painfully facepalmed.
"Oh Ise my stupid little idiot!"
Inside the church…
The moment Issei had entered he was confronted by the same old prankster from before.
"Yo, Sh*tty Sekiryuu-whatever majig. Looks like you're in my house now~"
Freed was smiling maniacally while holding onto something like a hilt and a gun. Issei's expression became serious.
"Guns are dangerous and illegal."
"Oh this? Nyaha! Don't worry about it! It's just a laser gun!"
"Oh okay."
He easily believed it.
"Heh! Who cares about that! More importantly! Didn't you keep saying you wanted to see my blue sword?"
"Yeah. Did you finally get some batteries?"
"Oh yeah….I got some batteries for ya~"
Dakun!
The doors flew open.
"Ise! Stop running off on your own without us!"
"Wha-?! The Devils! Just like I thought! So you were associated with the Sh*tty Devils!"
"They're my friends not my associates."
"That's the same sh*t!"
"No, associates are for business like stuff."
"This is business!"
"But I didn't apply for a job."
"Argh! You really piss me off!"
"Then just go to the restroom."
"Rrrrrrrgggghhhh!"
Freed clawed and scratched at his head violently in anger.
"Aaaah! Whatever! Just go downstairs and fight Donash*t or whatever! You were the one he was supposed to fight anyway! Dammit!"
Freed said that as he pointed towards the giant cross statue in the church. Soon enough, it began to move and reveal a secret passage leading down under. Issei passed him without consequence. Freed turned back to the large group.
"Alrighty then! Which one a ya' is gonna be my playmate eh?!"
…...
Pakun Pakun
Every single one of them casually walked by Freed and began to make their way down the stairs.
…
….
….
"HEEEEEEEEEEEY! GET BACK HERE! COME BACK AND FIGHT ME! COME OOOOON! ONE OF YA! COME OOOOOON! HEEEEY BLOOOONDIEEE! I SAW YOU THERE WITH THE SWORD! COME BACK AND F*CKING FACE MEEEEEEE! DAAAAMN PRETTY BOOOOOOY!"
Halfway down the steps Kiba came to a stop.
….Sigh…..
He slowly walked back up.
-DxD-
The ORC accompanied by the "3 stooges", nickname courtesy of Freed Sellzen, entered a large room filled with Exorcists, an altar, and a large cross like device atop of it.
"Hahahahahahahahaha! You're too late Sekiryuutei! The ritual is already well underway! Within only a few minutes this girl will be no more!"
Raynare stepped forward and pleaded with Donasheek.
"Donasheek! Stop this at once! There's no meaning in continuing this operation further!"
"She's right Donasheek. To go any further would be foolish. You are completely outnumbered and outclassed. Just give it up and my judgement shall be lenient."
"Rias Gremory huh. Hmph! As if I'd listen to the words of some foul Devils such as you. You are not the one who I am to fight. My opponent is none other than that Sekiryuutei! You will simply have to step aside while we face off in glorious battle."
"Hah? And why would I do that?"
"Because if you interfere then this girl shall have it."
With the snap of his fingers one of the Exorcists kneeling in front of the cross drew a sword of light and placed it near Asia's throat.
That's odd. Raynare noticed that there were priests kneeled before the cross, chanting and praying. Why? That's not necessary for the ritual. He just needs to turn the damn thing on. So then Why…?
"Heh? And why exactly would such a threat faze me do you think, foolish Fallen?"
"Rias Gremory. You are not the one in control of the situation. Something like this we shall leave to Ryu-sama."
"Hah?"
Kalawarner glared sternly at Rias while she raised a brow in annoyance.
"It's okay Rias-senpai. I can handle this."
"Wha-? But-!"
She stared at Issei's blank face…
…..
SIGH!
She slumped her shoulders down.
"I never get to do anything…."
She whispered defeatedly with a cloud of depression over her head.
Issei turned to look up at Donasheek.
"Hahahahahaha! Perfect! Well then, kill them, you lot."
Donasheek instructed his Exorcists who immediately drew their weapons.
"Wha-?!"
"Hmph. I said you weren't allowed to interfere in my battle with the Sekiryuutei. I didn't say I couldn't attack you."
He replied smugly to the group's shock as they also took battle positions.
Issei just stared blankly up at Donasheek.
"Now Sekiryuutei! Come! Let us engage in glorious combat! We shall shake the very bounds of the earth with our catastrophe! Destruction shall be instilled within the very core of every spectator! There will not exist a single being that does not know of the battle- between DONASHEEK AND THE WORLD'S STRONGEST SEKIRYUUTE-"
ZIP!
"Ah."
Everyone froze.
Issei was standing right in front of Donasheek.
….
….
….
….
…..
"H-Hold on timeout-"
DON!
BOOOM!
He was immediately backhanded to the left side of the room landing in the wall.
…
…
….
The room was silent aside from some quiet interactions seemingly made by the various Exorcists.
…..
….
….
….
..
"Cough, Cough."
…..
…
..
"Ahem.."
….
…..
…
..
"Psst, did you watch last night's episode of-"
"NNNNNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGHHHH!"
Donasheek rose from the rubble and made a strong battlecry! With two spears in his hands he roared and charged Issei with-!
DON!
"OUGH!"
And was subsequently kicked back into the wall.
Boom!
….
…
….
….
….
Issei turned to the priests praying in front of the cross device.
"Why are you sitting there? You're not even doing anything."
…...
"Ack! T-This power! This must be the power of the Sekiryuutei! What a powerful aura! I can't withstand it! Ugh!"
Thud!
The priest closest to Issei fell to the floor in front of the cross.
…..
Tug.
He tugged at the robes of the priest next to him lightly.
"E-? Oh! Aaaah! This power! Truly a devastating aura! I am no match! Ugh!"
Thud!
….
"But I'm not releasing any aura."
…
…
"O-Oh no! Even the very presence of this monster is too much to handle! So this is the power of the man who can face Donasheek-sama! It is no wonder we are mere humans are no match! It's too much! Ugh!"
Thud!
All four of the priests were now on the floor.
…..
…
"Hey Asia you're awake right. Why're you pretending to be asleep?"
The body of the girl on the cross lightly flinched.
…..
"...A-Ano….I-It...it was my instruction to remain unconscious until the battle was over….s-so..I am not...awake….."
…...
Issei turned around and looked straight down at the floor.
…
"I'm confused."
Crr!
"GOOOOOOODDDDAAAAAMMMMMIIIIIIIIIIT!"
Donasheek quickly rose out of the rubble once more with a completely different attitude.
"YOU FOOOOOOL! YOU STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID IDIOT FOOOOOOOOOLL! WHYYYYYYYYYYYYY?! WHYYYYY MUST YOU RUIN EVERYTHIIIIIIIIING! DON'T YOU UNDERSTAAAAAAND?! THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE IT! THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE THE ONE! THE FINAL EPISODE! THE SEASON FINALE! THE BEST SELLING ALBUM! THE PERFECT PICTURE! THE MAGNUM OPUS! THE BATTLE OF THE CENTUUURRRYY! WHY DON'T YOU GET THAT?! WHY CAN'T YOU DO THAT?! I TRIED SO HARD TO MAKE THIS INTERESTING! THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE GREATEST ARC IN THE SERIEEEEESS! WHY DON'T YOU GET THAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!"
He roared louder into the sky.
"YOU RUINED IT AAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLL! AT EVERY SINGLE TURN YOU RUINED IT AAAAAAALLLLLLLLLL! THE STAKES! THE TENSION! THE SEVERITY! THE FEAR! THE INTRIGUE! YOU RUINED IT AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLL! WHY DON'T YOU GET IT?! WHY DON'T YOU GET WHAT I WAS TRYING TO DOOOOOOO?! DON'T YOU GET IT?! DON'T YOU GET IT?!-
-I WAS SUPPOSED TO LOOK COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLLL!"
….
…..
…..
...
"But you look like a pedo."
Thud!
Donasheek landed face first into the ground.
K.O !
…
…
…..
…..
…..
A little stream of white smoke resembling Donasheek's soul slowly floated out of his mouth. Issei watched it as it slowly rose to the ceiling.
….
Well that settles that.
End
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! This is actually the only time where reading and imagining what I've wrote actually made me laugh! Oh my god that was so stupid and perfect. I love Issei.
Oh man. I really hope you guys enjoyed that. You have no idea how much effort it took me to think of a proper character for Donasheek that would affect the outcome of the situation. Remember when I told you "If you're expecting a serious outcome for the Asia and Kokabiel arcs then you're wrong."
Yeah. This is what I meant. Please please tell me what you thought. I am actually very proud of this chapter. So much dumb sh*t that I can't comprehend happened, I love it. My favorite chapter to date. But I know the Kokabiel arc will easily top it so look forward to that.
Please Read, Rate, Review go crazy.
Stay frosty so that you don't have a breakdown like Donasheek.