Hey I am back, thank you for sticking around!
On a sidenote - if you haven't yet, I totally recommend watching WandaVision and The Falcon and the Winter Soldier.

Don't worry, I am not paid for promoting Disney+ though and neither do I own Marvel - the only one I do own is still Xandra.

Chapter 21: Shut out and shut in

Xandra was halfway through the newest issue of "Cosmopolitan" when she heard agitated voices in the hallway, moving in her direction. Unfortunately, despite her increased sense of hearing, the glass of the cage and the brick walls made her still unable to understand what they were saying, though by now she was fairly certain it was May talking to Bobbi and Mack. A couple of moments later, she could see the two enter the lab across the hallway where she suspected they kept Skye in a gold fish bowl similar to hers. They were followed by May, who, for some reason glanced in her direction quite regretfully. The whole situation made the young woman uneasy, had something happened to Skye? Was she maybe in an unstable condition even? When she spied a hint of brown curls coming her way, she started banging against the glass to get some attention. Apparently it worked, as Fitz shot around the corner, eyes wide.

"Are you okay?" he asked, a little bit panicked, scanning her from head to toe as if looking for a second pair of arms or something like that.

Xandra nodded, trying to calm him down.

Is Skye ok?

When she held up the notebook with the hastily scribbled words Fitz looked at her, confused.

"Not worse, from what I have heard. Shaken up but seems... she seems fine. Why?"

Everyone is rushing in the lab.

The woman raised an eyebrow as Fitz blushed crimson red.

"Oh no, well, you know, uhm. Team meeting. And she can't - They won't let her out until she isn't checked. So we meet over there."

The implication was quite clear, the team met over there and apparently she wasn't part of it, because if she were, they could have given her a headset or some kind of gadget to include her. It shouldn't hurt, really, she had only known them for a short time after all,but it somehow did. Where was this unnatural calm when one needed it? On the other hand - maybe it was a good sign to at least feel a bit of something.

"I'm so sorry."

Not your fault.

Just when he wanted to say something more, they could hear Hunter and Coulson, obviously arguing.

"It is not fair!"

"Maybe not, but we have to act now. She is a smart one, she should understand."

You should go.

"Really, I am -."

Xandra gave him what she hoped was a reassuring smile.

"Fitz, come on mate!" she could hear Hunter call from the door, "Coulson wants to see us, now."

Looking straight at Xandra he mouthed something that she identified as "Coulson is an idial" but probably rather meant "idiot". At least she hoped so, it would be nice to have someone in her corner. Then the two men disappeared into the other room. After a couple of minutes, voices were getting louder, there was definitely arguing going on, but she didn't quite understand what about. If she wasn't mistaken, she had heard "HYDRA" and "back ski" a couple of times, but that was it. Suddenly, she felt goosebumps on her arms and it was as if little shivers were running over her body. Were these tremors? Was this a seizure? No, it was coming from around her she felt, when touching the ground. Maybe a faint earthquake she could now detect? Crazy shit, she should change professions now and become a seismologist!

After a while, she heard Coulson storming out of the other lab, the team members leaving one after the other. Hunter made a beeline towards her, looking concerned.

That bad?

"Worse! Love, that was horror," he grumbled, "so you remember Harry Potter 5 in the beginning where everyone is angry and annoyed and bitching around? This is what the meeting felt like, but 10 times worse. I wish you would have been there. I think that might have helped - you are like a baby tiger. Or rather a snow leopard kitten now with your fancy pancy hair. Anyway - you have this kind of cute innocence so everyone wants to play nice and then suddenly you give them a look and then they think they will die if they misstep."

Funny, Hunter. Better remember baby snow leopards become big cats with big teeth one day and don't piss me off.

Nevertheless, Xandra would admit it was quite a nice comparison, nicer than most she had heard over her life.

"Well anyway, so Mack is all smoldering with anger, I try to lighten the mood, Fitz gets personally insulted, Mack explodes, kinda attacks Coulson. Bob tries to mediate, but fails spectacularly. The main point they were fighting about was whether Hydra was forcing our hand or whether it was kind of Coulson's and Skye's fault because they were sort of infected with alien stuff. And that Coulson then gave reckless and stupid orders and never asked anyone else about their opinions. Obviously May being May jumped to Coulson's aid and tried to put Mack in his place. I got angry as she was arguing all about hierachy which was totally not the point as this kind of discussion should not be determinated by that. Of course in the end Coulson gave a command, I think Mack hates him now. Fun fact - nobody ever asked Skye anything, they totally ignored her, they might as well have been anywhere else. She did look quite shaken up anyway. Oh yeah and apparently Raina was affected by the gas too and turned all scaly and crazy. Killed a couple of our agents. So I think you were lucky in regard to the looks."

I take that as a compliment. Can you do me a favour and make sure Skye is okay?

"Will do love. She is not turning into a monster, by the way. Yeah, and we are going after Hydra tomorrow. I am probably not supposed to tell you that, but I thought you should know. And I think they also include the US government. It's gonna be a big op, tricky, and they will have my head if I tell you too much."

Xandra nodded.

Take care.

"Aww you know me. Would I ever do something reckless?"

You better get your ass back here in one piece!

"I'll try my very best love. You take care too, alright? I'll come around later again, check on you."

She nodded, locked up in quarantine the biggest threat to her at the moment was getting angry because of a lack of food or getting poked too much. However, Xandra could imagine too well how quickly these situations could go South, also for someone rather lightly involved like her. None of the other team members came to visit her, which wasn't surprising, they were definitely very busy though she suspected in the case of May, Fitz and maybe even Coulson they were also feeling a bit guilty. Interestingly enough, the last one hadn't bothered talking (well, communicating) with her since Puerto Rico at all, which was slightly insulting but not surprising with everything that was going on. It wasn't really unexpected that the team had clashed now, it would have probably happened sooner or later anyway and this had just been a catalysator. Neither was the woman surprised about the positions the members were taking - May as Coulson's deputy and even more important, friend, trying to stabilize his position, while the members who had nothing to loose and didn't owe Coulson so much such as Bobbi and Mack questioning him. Mack was an interesting case in general - from the little interaction Xandra had had with him he had a lot of common sense but no will (or was it talent, she wasn't sure yet) to play games of power. Bobbi had secrets, Hunter even more so, and his main reason for loyalty to S.H.I.E.L.D. was his affection for Bobbi. It was dangerous to trust a man like that, her strategical instincts told her so, she had to be careful. Nevertheless - Xandra liked him. Since the evening he had chat her up at the bar, played the questioning game with her and had let her drive she had felt a connection to him. Maybe because in a way she was like him. She had talents that could be used as well for good and for bad things and she had done both, and even though she had started to work for S.H.I.E.L.D. to do some good, her main reason for loyalty had been the love for an agent. Lance Hunter seemed a bit like the big brother she would have needed as a girl, to cheer her on at her polo games and at fencing, come to her graduation, stand up for her against her father and kick her boyfriend's ass.

Now it wasn't even clear how the organisation would turn out to be in the long run. There would be changes, the young woman was sure of that. Obviously one needed a certain type of structure to keep the organisation running and not everything could be shared in a highly secret security agency, but it was a difficult walk on a tightrope between functionality and accountability - Fury had definitely lived on the side of functionality and apparently so did Coulson. However, this also came with dangers - abuse of power, irresponsible decisions, sacrifices not everyone was ready to make. Her ex-boyfriend had been ready to accept that, at least for a time. It had been a source of conflict between the two of them since Xandra had made some very bad experience with a man demanding utter subjugation, compliance and obediance. Now, while she sat there pondering, the new weird cold part inside of her was wondering whether having people comply for the greater good maybe wasn't so bad.

"Dinner for the princess," Hunter chirped a couple of hours later, putting something in the empty box outside the glass wall and pushing it over towards Xandra, "they are apparently still keeping you on soup, but it is potato now."

The woman took the bowl quickly, famished, making the man laugh.

"Slowly or you will burn your tongue! Anyway, you feeling ok? Still no scales, claws or anything?"

Xandra gave him the finger, but he just laughed, sitting down with something that looked like a very delicious sandwich.

"Great then. Anyway, is there anything you would like to have to pass the time? A book maybe?"

The insolent grin he gave her made her ponder.

Did you search my room?

"Why would S.H.I.E.L.D. ever do that?" he asked, seemingly surprised.

She sighed heavily.

U did. Great. Or did May while you were chatting me up?

"I won't disclose anything," he simply commented.

It is NOT your business what kind of literature I read!

He shrugged his shoulders. "Nah, suit yourself."

Can I have my computer?

"I think no technical gadgets allowed, sorry."

A Sudoku-book then?

"Sure, I'll see to it."

They finished their meals in companiable silence, then Hunter had to join another team meeting to make the final plans for the next day's mission. They gave each other smiles when he left and Xandra layed back on her cot when she got disturbed by the two medics, again both in hazard suits. They took her blood again, to be sure and to monitor any eventual changes - it was as violet-blue as before. After checking her through again it was at least decided she could have a more varied diet and bigger portions again, which was at least one improvement. Just when she finally thought she was tired enought to go to sleep, May stood in front of the cage.

"They told me your blood is still blue," she cut straight to the chase.

Nice to see you too. But yes.

"Well, at least it doesn't seem to affect your body too much. You look healthy," May commented, "anyway, this is not why I am here. As Hunter has probably told you, there is this big op tomorrow. But also, Simmons is supposed to come back asap, so we might soon know more about yours and Skye's condition. In any case - even if the loss of your voice is not of medical but psychological origin, you will need help. And you need to be able to communicate. So maybe you should start learning sign language, because while writing down works, it is difficult in everyday life."

You think it is necessary?

Despite everything, Xandra had yet resisted against the thought that her situation might be permanent.

"Unfortunately."

May looked incredibly sad.

"I am not saying it has to be permanent, but it might be a valuable tool. So, if you would wish so, I could get you a book or some instruction videos."

Book is good.

"Skye would like to help you, she proposed she could learn signing too so she could translate. It was her idea though, I didn't want to say anything before talking to you."

Tell her thank you.

Maybe this could work after all.

Thank you for reading!