Christmas Eve at the Wilson household
Phoenix stepped down on Earth. It was winter and her friends invited her to celebrate Christmas with them in Sarah's home. She wasn't sure what the holiday was but it seemed similar to a winter festival many in All World celebrated. Sam had told her about it a couple of months ago and when the subject of gift-giving came up, Phoenix thought about what to get Bucky. She and Sam bounced ideas off each other. The topic of Bucky's time in the Howling Commandos came up and Phoenix was struck with an idea. She asked Sam if Bucky ever received any medals for his service in World War II and if it would be possible for her to see them. Sam took her to the local VA to see. They discovered Bucky had a few to his name but they were in the possession of his sister, Rebecca. So they made a trip to her home in Indiana without Bucky's knowledge.
Long story short, Rebecca refused to hand her brother's medals over to Phoenix but she did agree to the compromise the shifter had preemptively formulated since she had a feeling that the medals meant too much to Rebecca to give them up. She knew her brother was alive but he was a stranger to her now and she wanted to hang onto what remained of the brother she once knew. Phoenix, still learning to write, had Sam take down general descriptions of the medals' appearances as well as what each represented. Armed with that, she returned to All World and traveled to Byakko's Castle in the Western Range. Byakko High King was more than willing to help. Phoenix asked him to forge medals based on the descriptions she had Sam write down and explained what each meant.
Byakko knew why he wasn't presented with images. Doubtless, there were legality issues surrounding what Phoenix was asking. The last thing either of them wanted was for Bucky to get into trouble over them. Byakko forging them based on worded descriptions would both avoid that and allow him to freely give them his own touch while maintaining their meanings. Humans with knowledge of medal lore on Earth might suspect their inspiration but they wouldn't be able to say they were the same. To any other, the medals would just be pretty pieces of art. The tiger may be All World's premier blacksmith but he was an artist first and foremost. Byakko also started getting ideas for a display case and chose rosewood for it. It had been some time since he carved anything. So he sent Phoenix away while he worked and said he could have the entire thing done in about eight weeks. He had to sketch out each item on the list, get the necessary materials, forge the pieces, carve the case, and assemble it all.
Fortunately for Phoenix, he had no other major projects so the High King of the West could dedicate all his free time to it. He decided that Phoenix's human friend deserved the very best metal and dipped into his storehouse of mythril ingots. He rarely used the precious metal because it was just more practical to use steel in his smithing. But once in a while, a project this worthy made mythril the only option. He and Seiryu chatted somewhat regularly through their Seer's Crystals so he was aware of Bucky's life of hardship. Eight weeks later, Phoenix was summoned back to the Castle and presented with the completed project. She thanked Byakko profusely for getting it done in time and soon left for Earth.
And that brought her to the present. Phoenix walked up to the house and knocked. She was greeted by Sarah. Phoenix had revealed her false form to her family ages ago. AJ had asked why she hadn't shown them when they first met. The shifter just explained she felt safer around humans in her true form. It provided safety that way. By showing her false form to them when she did, she was sending the message she trusted them. She followed them to the living room where Bucky and Sam were. "Hey, Nix, finally made it!" Sam said, coming over to give her a one-armed hug. "I wouldn't miss this," Phoenix responded before giving her best friend a smile.
Bucky was a bit slack-jawed. Phoenix was wearing a long-sleeved silver turtleneck dress, the form her silver coat took this time. Some of her hair was pulled into a bun while the rest hung loose. His mind went back to their talk months prior when they discussed a dream he had and he came clean about wanting a relationship with her. Phoenix gently talked him through it and in the end, Bucky reminded himself that it was impossible. The chimera returned to her true form at his request and hadn't humanshifted in his presence since then. While his feelings for her were still there, being in her true form most of the time helped him wrangle them under his control over time and it was now seemingly back to the way things were. Seeing her in her false form for the first time in ages wasn't as painful as it had been back then.
"Looking beautiful as always, Nix," he said, coming over. Phoenix beamed at him before setting her wrapped gift by the tree. She then looked up at him. "Are you okay?" she asked in a low tone. Bucky just smiled and brought her hand up to kiss it. "I'm fine. I think all that time in your true form helped me learn to manage myself better. But I'm not about to lie and say my feelings died. I'm sorry," he said. "We're okay. Just remember your feelings aren't wrong so long as you can live with them," she responded. Bucky smiled before his eye was caught by Sam's nephews making kissy faces at them behind her back. Flushing a bit, he rolled his eyes before putting a little distance between them. Phoenix was a bit confused but a stealthy glance over her shoulder told her everything when she saw Sam give his nephews light taps on the head for their teasing. She just smiled to herself. Children were a blessing.
The funny thing was everyone in the house was a child compared to her. This even included Bucky who had the smallest age gap with her at 48 years. That said, the age gap was hardly a factor for them. Bucky's physical age didn't match his chronological one by any stretch and Phoenix aged so slowly, she looked younger than him despite being so much older. Unicorns, pterripi, ceraptors, and kirins aged at the same rate until they reached sexual maturity (though that varied by species), and then their aging slowed to a crawl. It was how each species lived for several hundred years. Signs of aging didn't show up until much later, depending on the species. Kirins were rumored to live 500 years but these days, the Kirin Nation was in the living memory of the High Kings, as the Nation had vanished off the face of the Continent centuries ago. To this day, no one but the High Kings knew what happened to them.
A little later on, Phoenix was chatting with Sam when something caught her eye. "Is that mistletoe?" she asked, pointing up at the living room's entryway. "Sure is," Sam had with a grin. "Odd. Mistletoe is poisonous, though a pterripus can eat it with no problem. I didn't know humans would associate it with this holiday of yours," she said. Falcon blinked a moment. "Do you...not know the tradition around mistletoe?" he asked. Phoenix tilted her head. "Where I come from, it's just another plant. Dangerous if ingested but nothing special otherwise," she explained. Sam chuckled as he shook his head in disbelief. "Well here on Earth, if you stand under the mistletoe, someone gotta kiss you," he said with a cheeky grin. Phoenix's face remained neutral. "Interesting," she mused. "You really don't seem to care, do you?" Sam said. "Oh, no. It is interesting. I don't mean to come off as uninterested," she said, flustered.
"Relax. I'm just teasing. It's just wild that mistletoe doesn't have the same connotations in your world as it does here," Sam assured her. "Perhaps. The thing is I'm going off what I know. Since I have limited knowledge of traditions in the Empire, I can't say for sure if the plant has the same meaning attached to it," she explained. "Totally fair," Sam responded as Sarah entered the living room. "I know it's only Christmas Eve but I think we can each open a gift now," she said. Cass and AJ got excited and went over to the tree. Phoenix waited for Bucky to sit down against the couch before joining him. He smiled at her before spontaneously wrapping an arm around her neck to pull her towards him and planting a kiss on her temple.
"And this is for Bucky from Phoenix," Sarah said, handing the gift off to the White Wolf. Bucky's curiosity was obvious as he took it. Phoenix was beaming as he untied the cord and unwrapped the silk it was wrapped in. His eyes went wide before he looked at his inhuman friend. "I, uh, well, Sam and I went to visit your sister so I could see the medals you were awarded during the war. I took descriptions of them and their meanings to Byakko High King. He forged them and carved the case they were in. They're obviously not exact replicas for legal reasons but you would still understand them," she explained. Bucky's eyes got a bit teary but he just smiled hugely before pulling her closer to kiss her forehead.
"Thank you, Nix. I have no words," he said. The shifter beamed and sat back to watch the display case get passed around so Sam and his family could admire the workmanship, "I'm sorry if I overstepped, Bucky. I know you and your sister haven't seen each other in decades," Phoenix then said in a low tone. "It's okay. So much has happened that I don't think we would recognize each other. Becky's always been a tough girl. I'm just glad she was kind enough to meet with you," Bucky assured her. Their eyes met and he smiled. "I have something for you, too, but I'll give it to you later," he said. "You didn't have to," Phoenix protested. "But I wanted to, Nix. And I'm glad I did now since you gave me something special and unique," Bucky responded. Cass and AJ caught his eye and they were being silly again. "Knock it off, you two. Buck and Nix are just friends," Sam scolded.
"Oh, come on, Uncle Sam. it's obvious," AJ protested. Bucky's face was red while Phoenix maintained her normal serene look, completely unbothered. "Yeah. I mean, they look good," Cass piped up. "Leave them alone," Sarah said with a laugh. Bucky just pinched the bridge of his nose. "Sam and Sarah don't know about my struggle or the talk we had. I felt it was best to leave it between us," he explained in a low tone. "It's better that way. No need to burden anyone else with it," Phoenix agreed. The display case with the medals made its way back to Bucky's hands and he smiled down at them. "They look great, Nix. Thank Byakko for me," he said. She grinned and nodded.
Later that evening
Bucky and Phoenix were listening to Christmas music in the living room alone. The kids had gone to bed for the night. Sam and Sarah decided to head out to a neighbor's for a bonfire. Bucky and Phoenix had opted not to go so AJ and Cass weren't left alone. The two sat in silence before Bucky got up and went to the tree. He pulled out a small box and came back to the couch. "Merry Christmas, Nix," he said, handing it to her. Phoenix took it and opened it. Inside were two clay figurines of turtledoves. "They're beautiful," she sighed, taking one. "Do you know what they represent?" Bucky asked. "Much as the dove represents peace, the turtledove represents friendship and love," she said without hesitation. "Sam suggested it. Figures the friendship part of the meaning suits us," Bucky said, reaching in and taking the second one. Privately, he chose his bird to represent not just their friendship but also his feelings for her.
Phoenix didn't need to know that. "Anyway, our friendship means a lot to me, Nix. That's why I decided to get these. You have one, I have the other. As long as we look at them, we know our bond will last," he explained. "Thank you," she said before leaning over to kiss his cheek. Bucky smiled before taking both figurines and putting them back in the box. He took the box from Phoenix, set it aside, and stood up while taking her hand. Phoenix realized he was hoping to dance and let him. Bucky pulled her to the center of the living room and into his arms. Phoenix rested a hand on his shoulder while his vibranium arm wound around her waist, closing the gap.
Christmas Lights by Coldplay started playing at the moment and the two started to turn in place, swaying to the music. Phoenix listened to the lyrics and noticed the song seemed to match Bucky's inner turmoil where she was concerned. She met his eyes and he smiled gently. He placed his forehead to hers and they closed their eyes. The Spirit of Christmas by Ray Charles came on and Bucky pulled back. Wordlessly, Phoenix knew what he had in mind next and they started a different dance. Bucky swung her out and reeled her back before turning her in place. Phoenix's face was alight with the fun she was having. Bucky twisted her again and followed up by dipping her. He held the position and grinned down at her. "Having fun?" he asked. "Absolutely," she responded.
As the song came to an end, the next one began. It was It's Always Been You by Drew Seeley. Phoenix sensed a shift in the atmosphere as Bucky pulled her to his chest. She smiled gently to herself as he placed her hand to his heart and set his face on her hair. They slowly turned in place, the rest of the world falling away. "This song exists to mock me. It's pretty much saying what I've been thinking," Bucky said after a moment. "I'm sorry," she said, quietly. "It's not your fault," he responded. Phoenix looked up at him. Bucky sighed before kissing her forehead. "I'm the one who should be sorry. I didn't mean to fall for you as I have. I know you said you don't mind the burden of my feelings, Nix, but I still feel like I'm doing you wrong," he said. Phoenix rested her head to his chest again. "You're probably the only human I've met who somehow thinks his feelings are a sin," she said.
"I don't think it's that. It's just...this whole thing is so complicated," the White Wolf sighed. Phoenix hummed before she sighed. "You might as well just come out and say it, Bucky. You love me. Before, it was the idea of me. The idea that a woman could look at your past the way I do and not be afraid. But somewhere along the line, you came to realize your feelings have changed," she explained. Bucky looked down at her and she met his gaze evenly. "And that's what kills me the most, Nix. It's that day in the woods all over again," he said. "Where do you think you went wrong if you don't mind me asking," Phoenix ventured. Bucky just sighed as he kept them turning in place. "I never should've kissed you in the cabin last winter. That's where it really started ramping up. And look where it landed me. I'm in love with a woman I can't have and doesn't actually exist. It's just another way life is yanking my chain," he responded.
Bucky deflated. "I don't see myself getting over my feelings for you but I have to learn to live with them and not let them control me. You deserve better than that. As much as I want things to be different, I'm more afraid of losing you," he said. They slowed to a stop, not noticing they had ended up under the mistletoe. "But you're right, Nix. I love you, even though I shouldn't and don't have any rights to your heart," he confessed. Phoenix smiled gently at him, her face getting a small blush to it. "I accept you," she said, plainly. She knew he would get the message. She accepted his feelings but her word choice also indicated that was all she could do. She couldn't return those same feelings.
Bucky knew that was as good as it was going to get. It was all he could hope for. The White Wolf's eyes went up in thought but he flinched a bit when he saw where they had ended up. He looked down at Phoenix, who noticed they were under the mistletoe and just chuckled. She shrugged before looking up at the plant. Bucky's hands subconsciously gripped Phoenix's body. She brought her eyes down to look at him. She sighed before setting her hands on his neck. When he met her eyes, Phoenix smiled and tilted her head as an invitation. Before he knew it, Bucky slid his arms around her and pulled her against him. There was no space between them now. All the White Wolf could focus on was the beautiful woman he had in his arms and hold her as close as he physically could. He dove in and she responded.
Phoenix could tell this kiss was different than the others they had in the past. Bucky was laying his feelings bare with no hesitation. At the same time, his acceptance of the situation was reaffirmed. They broke apart and Phoenix smiled at him. Bucky just held her close, his head dropping to her shoulder. "I love you so much," he said in a low tone. "I know and I'm sorry I can't do more for you," she responded. Bucky just sighed, rubbing her back. "It's not your fault, Nix. I'm just weak," he said. "I disagree. You faced your feelings head-on, you didn't hide them from me, you accept how things have to be...you're stronger than you're giving yourself credit for," Phoenix countered, pushing him back a little to meet his eyes. She took his face in her hands. "I believe in you," she assured him.
She pulled him over to the couch and they sat down. "Thing is I'm afraid that if I ask for time apart, you won't come back," Bucky admitted. "Do you think you need that space?" Phoenix inquired. "Maybe. I'm not really sure," he responded. He met her eyes and sighed. "I'm unbelievably selfish, Nix. I keep talking about how I'm feeling but I never think about how this affects you. None of this is fair to you," he said. Phoenix hummed and rubbed his back. "Let's not worry about that now. It's Christmas. Take some time to think things through and we can come back to this conversation later, deal?" she asked. Bucky smiled a little and nodded. A companionable silence settled between them. Over time, Bucky stretched out on the couch and Phoenix rested on top of him, pulling her hair from the bun. They eventually fell asleep.
Sam and Sarah came into the house a couple of hours later and paused when they entered the living room. "Now that's adorable," Sarah whispered. "It kind of is but it's also a bit worrying. Bucky's been hiding something lately and the only reason I haven't asked him anything is that I know he wouldn't be honest," Sam responded, crossing his arms. His sister gave him a look. "I think you might be reading into things a bit, Sam, but admittedly, I don't know either of them as well as you do. If you're worried, talk to them. Phoenix, at least, would be willing to. She strikes me as the honest type," she suggested. Sam just shrugged and crossed his arms. "I'll wait and see. Maybe it's my imagination messing with me. Good night, Sarah. I'm hitting the sack," he said.
Sarah nodded and before he left, Sam got a grin on his face. "Snap a picture of this. I'm so going to have fun tomorrow," he said. His sister just shook her head. She couldn't believe her brother sometimes. When he went upstairs, she pulled a blanket off the recliner and draped it over her two guests. She smiled when Phoenix took a deep breath in her sleep, her fingers curling into Bucky's shirt and her head shifted under his chin. Bucky's hands were resting on her back and when she shifted, his grip tightened a little before relaxing. She pulled out her phone and snapped a picture of the two and sent it to Sam's phone. "That is so adorable," she thought to herself before heading upstairs to her own room.
Christmas Day
Early the next morning, Bucky woke up. A wall of multicolored hair met his eyes and he smiled softly. Phoenix was still dead to the world. Her one arm had fallen off him in her sleep so he took hold of it and brought it back up. Her fingers sleepily curled around his thumb, reminding him of a child. Bucky stayed put, content in the moment. He teased her hair a bit and he noted with interest that it felt like a weight had been lifted. His feelings for her were still running strong but it didn't feel like he was getting crushed under them. It still broke him that he was denied yet another thing but Phoenix had been a constant support for him for a number of years now. She never once complained, buckled under any pressure, or made his feelings feel unwanted. He knew he hadn't really shown it but he truly appreciated everything she had done. Even when it came to indulging his selfishness.
Bucky figured he needed advice on how to proceed. He was doing fine now but if he got into his head too much about things, it could get bad. The question became who to ask. Phoenix had made her position clear. She was open to just about anything he wanted. Sam would just make things awkward or he'd tell him all the ways it was wrong for him to feel the way he did. That just left Sarah. Bucky wasn't sure how to broach the subject with her. He decided to let the matter rest for now. It was Christmas. His issues could wait and he was overthinking it a bit. "If you love her, let her go," he mused. That was the step he had to think about. He just sighed.
Phoenix slowly woke up and took a deep breath. Seiryu had come to her in a dream. Another perk of the spell he had cast. She hadn't been fully honest with Bucky and Seiryu was starting to notice. So he contacted her via the dream and told her it was time they had a heart-to-heart. The chimera was beginning to suspect that perhaps she was starting to reciprocate Bucky's feelings for a while now but had been pushing it down to this point. Seiryu wouldn't have said anything if he didn't feel the same. She felt a bit guilty but the High King had been wise enough to tell her at the start of their courtship that if she decided to move on, she could with no guilt. Seiryu would always be around but her own life was too short for her heart to be torn in two. She suspected the dragon wanted to remind her of that fact. At the moment, she wasn't sure if she truly returned Bucky's feelings but her feelings for Seiryu had cooled a bit over time. She loved him but she was no longer sure if she was still IN love with him. Yet something else she suspected Seiryu wanted to discuss.
"You awake?" came Bucky's voice. Lifting her head to look him in the eyes, Phoenix felt her heart skip a beat. "I'm awake," she responded, pushing off him and sitting back so he could sit up. "What's up? You look a bit upset," the White Wolf said. Phoenix gave him a gentle smile. "If it's all the same to you, I probably need to go home for a while," she responded. Bucky's expression was a mix of confusion and fear. Both understandable. Taking his hands, Phoenix gave him a bigger smile. "Don't worry. I'll come back. It's just that there's something I have to do and I can only do it at home," he explained.
"Did I do something? Did I come off too strong?" Bucky asked, gripping her hands a bit harder. "Relax. It's nothing bad, I promise," she assured him. "You sure?" he inquired. "I wouldn't lie," she responded. She gave his flesh hand a comforting squeeze. "Come now, Bucky. This fear isn't you. You're tough. I know the timing is a bit jarring but I promise that this divergence is only for a short time. I have to go home, take care of things, and then I'll be back, okay?" she asked. Bucky gave her a small grin. "Sorry. I'm just a bit frazzled from everything else," he said. "You're fine. Now I don't know how long my business is going to take so do whatever you need or want to do in the meantime and I'll find you again when it's time," Phoenix said. The White Wolf nodded and took a deep breath. It didn't sound like he had anything to worry about.
Sam and his family walked in then and greeted them. "Sleep well?" Sam asked, a teasing edge to his voice that promptly got Bucky's attention. "Very well," Phoenix responded as he stood up. Sam was holding his phone and was grinning at something. "Sam, what the hell are you grinning about?" Bucky asked. Sam exchanged a look with Sarah who just cocked an eyebrow at him before bundling her sons into the kitchen for breakfast. "You guys are so cute," Sam broke, showing Bucky the picture Sarah had snapped. His face went scarlet before he looked back at Phoenix. She looked a bit confused. "Delete that, Sam, or I'm breaking your face," the White Wolf growled. "Like that's going to happen and I know you're just using Phoenix's threat against Zemo for calling her princess. It's not that big of a deal, dude," the new Cap responded. Their attention was grabbed when Phoenix yoinked Sam's phone from his hand. Neither had seen her move.
Bucky's face went even redder as she studied it. She looked at Sam and just smiled. Both men suddenly felt a chill. "Delete this, Sam, or I'm breaking the phone," she said. Her tone was playful but the chill in the air made it pretty clear it was a threat. "Okay, okay. Geez. You both need a chill pill. Sarah was the one who snapped it," Sam said, holding his hands up. "On your suggestion, no doubt," Bucky shot back. Phoenix handed the phone back and Sam sighed, deleting the picture. "Bucky, I can understand, but what was your deal, Nix?" he then asked. She just shrugged coyly. "So...when are you going home?" Bucky asked. Sam gave her a look, wondering when this development came up. "Not to worry. I'm thinking later in the afternoon, towards the evening. I'm having too much fun to leave now," Phoenix responded.
"Anything wrong?" Sam asked, looking between the two. "Not a thing. I just have some business to take care of at home. I'm planning on returning. I just don't know when," she replied. Sam hummed before Sarah popped in to say breakfast was ready. Phoenix dipped out of the house but as an added assurance to her friends, she shifted into her true form and started pawing at the snow with a hoof to graze near a window. Afterward, the group got together and the humans in the house opened the rest of their presents. Bucky noticed Phoenix was looking pensively out the window so he stepped away to talk to her. "You seem distracted," he said, crossing his arms and leaning against the wall. "Just thinking about what I'm going to do next," she responded before looking up at him and smiling. "Stop worrying, Bucky. You're bringing the mood down," she said. He just grinned.
Later that afternoon, Phoenix said her goodbyes to the Wilsons and headed off to the woods. Bucky went with her to see her off. They came to her usual haunt and stopped. "So this is it?" Bucky asked. "Just for a little while," Phoenix responded, turning to face him. "Why do I have this feeling in my gut that something is about to change?" he asked. She shrugged. "Maybe something will. Maybe it won't. Just know that no matter what, you'll always be my friend, Bucky," she responded. Bucky took a deep breath before setting a hand on her face. "I believe in you, Nix. I know it's wrong for me to have the feelings I have but I appreciate everything you do. Just...tell me the truth. Are you absolutely sure that I'm not pressuring you unknowingly?" he inquired. "Believe me, I'd say something. I'm not one to suffer in silence. If I had an issue with any of this, you'd know for sure," she replied.
Bucky felt a bit better about it, though the doubt remained. Still, he had no choice but to trust Phoenix was telling him the truth. Silence settled between them for a moment before Phoenix raised a hand to rest on the one on her face. "I'll be seeing you, Bucky. Enjoy life. Keep my turtledove figurine and consider it a promise I'll be back. And trust me, this time apart will benefit us both," she assured him. The White Wolf just smiled before setting his forehead to hers. "Am I allowed one last kiss?" he asked. Phoenix closed her eyes and nodded. Bucky pressed his lips to hers chastely. She met him in it and raised a hand to his chest. They pulled apart and he stepped back to give her some space. Phoenix shifted back and snorted, pawing the snow. "I love you," he blurted out as she got ready to turn. Pausing, the chimera met his blue-grey eyes. She just smiled in response and turned in place, vanishing from sight.