All World
Phoenix lay on the large outcropping at the top of Seiryu's Castle. The breeze blew through the mountains and the long grasses of the plains outside reminded her of waves on the many large lakes that dotted the Continent. Her ear tweaked backward when she heard the large doors that led into the Castle open. Seiryu High King joined her on the outcropping and lowered his thirty-foot-long body to the stonework. The sun made his sky-blue scales shimmer. "I'm sorry, Seiryu. I think things have changed," Phoenix said, by way of preamble. The dragon hummed, his tail coming around to encircle her. "I knew this day was coming, love. But let's make this a thorough discussion so you can make an informed decision," he responded. Phoenix met his left eye. Seiryu had lost his right eye some time ago and the empty socket was hidden under an eyepatch. His deep blue eye held nothing but love and understanding.
"My human friend has feelings for me...and I think I feel the same," Phoenix said, leaning her horned head to his shoulder. "And you feel as if history will repeat itself because you wish to be with this human," the Master said more than asked. She nodded in silence. "Phoenix," Seiryu said, nudging her gently. "You can't compare this situation to the situation between me and Abigail. Now that I'm older and wiser, I realize that I wasn't truly in love with her. I was lonely and starving for companionship. I often wonder why the Weaver chose me, a dragon, to mantle the role of World Master. My kind are emotional juggernauts. We put up shows of strength and stoicism but we feel loneliness acutely. We're basically humans turned up to eleven. I was so desperate for companionship that I picked the first being to catch my eye to pursue. We know what happened after," he explained.
"But I promised the end of our time together would be my death. How is this not betrayal?" Phoenix protested. The dragon set a hand on her hindquarters. "Because you've never held anything back from me. I've told you before that if this situation ever arose, I only have one choice and that is to step aside. I may be the highest authority on this side of eternity but I am the lowest of souls. I have to put the East and All World at large before all else. Even you, even my own selfish desires. Never forget what happened the first time I put someone before my duty. Abigail is dead because of me. The second time I made that mistake...when you lost your soul to the Sacred Sword...the denizens of the East lost a year of their Time due to the stone curse. I will be paying for that when I finally stand before the Weaver to give my account. You just need to decide if James has become first in your heart over me," he responded.
Phoenix broke eye contact to look out towards the plains. "I don't know if I actually love him, Seiryu, or if I just pity him. You know everything I know about his past and how everything was stolen from him because of me. He deserves better than pity," she admitted. "You love him, Phoenix. You just don't know if you're IN love with him yet. As for me, nothing gives me greater joy than knowing you found someone who is similar to you. I can tell he makes you happy for that reason if nothing else. Sounds like you make him happy in kind," Seiryu mused. Phoenix closed her eyes as her heart gave a painful thud. "I can't abandon you…," she whispered. One of Seiryu's two long tendrils on his upper muzzle turned her head to face him.
"This is my fate, my love. Everyone I've ever known and loved in my abhorrently long life leaves eventually. We either drift apart or death separates us. If your heart's desire were up to me, I would drive you away because your life is so short and you deserve better than me. James is a far better match for you than I could ever be. Humans, in particular, look at my status and think I have it made and that my life is easy. But they don't know the unimaginable burden of knowing that immortality is a curse, knowing that dying prematurely dooms my entire Domain, how hard it is to rule, the pain of watching friends come into my life and knowing they will grow old and die while I remain," he explained. His voice was strong but his sorrow over his fate was evident.
The Master looked out over the plains. "Besides, even if you leave me now to stand at his side, there are no guarantees it will actually work out between you in the long run. If all goes well in your lives, you're going to outlive him by a wide margin. There's also the matter of your different age rates. He's going to grow old while you remain young. He may come to the realization that you're better off as you were before. And this is the best-case scenario. He may yet reject you despite his feelings for you. I'm not saying this to discourage you from pursuing him, Phoenix. I simply ask that you be mindful of these facts. In the end, it's your decision. I have no right to demand anything from you. Just know I will never stop loving you and that whatever happens next, my Castle and my heart are yours. You can always come home to me in the event you end your courtship or he dies," he said.
Phoenix was silent as she mulled over his words. Seiryu had given his blessing in his own way and he reminded her that in the game of love, it was his fate to lose no matter what. He could only have someone in his life for a short time before Death claimed them. Death would not come for him until the Weaver was triumphant in the Tribulation War and the Battle of Armageddon and All World's last forty days came to pass. So now she had to decide if Bucky had become first in her heart. His soulful eyes, compassionate nature, and drive to protect came to mind and her heart skipped a beat a bit. She thought about all the times they kissed and the shared experiences they had. The drive they had to protect each other. The fact neither could imagine their lives without each other.
She thought back to when they first met. She hadn't given him much thought beyond the fact that a young soldier had fallen from the sky and lost his arm. She stayed with him and prayed he would survive. Something deep down had compelled her to do so. He had been afraid of her back then. It was understandable. Something like her didn't exist in Bucky's world. But as they got to know each other and became close friends, she came to trust him as she trusted few others. He was a human, counted among the species that led to her very creation. He taught her so much like how hands were capable of gentleness.
"Bucky has always been afraid of you, Seiryu," she ventured. "No surprise there. I'm a dragon, I'm a High King, and I'm a World Master. It's only natural that he feels threatened by me. And since it seems he's developed feelings for you, well, now I'm just in the way. I'm standing between him and the one he wants. Regardless, this is your call to make and I support you no matter what. Your happiness matters more to me than my own. I take comfort knowing I'm not losing you the way I lost Abigail. You can always come home and your place in my heart will remain. All I have is time," the dragon shrugged. Phoenix fell silent in thought. Seiryu was more than willing to let her go, not just for Bucky's sake, but because it was an ever-looming truth that Seiryu was doomed to lose her no matter what she chose.
So now Phoenix had to decide if she was in love with Bucky or if it was pity pretending to be love. She thought over everything that had occurred between them again. She had noticed over time that whenever they weren't together, her mind was on him a lot. She sighed. "I'm afraid he'll want more from me than I'm able to give. He knows I'm physically unable to enter estrus but what if he pushes for it regardless, knowing it will be nothing but pain?" she asked. Seiryu tapped her on the base of her neck. She looked up at him and followed his lead when he shifted into his false form. "That's between you two if you decide to take the shot with him. I don't see it happening, though. As much as he loves you, he knows you for what you are. That would be enough of a deterrent. But if things start feeling wrong, you know what you have to do," he assured her, taking her shoulders in his hands.
Seiryu gave her a smile that radiated his love for her. "So what have you decided?" he asked. Phoenix looked down, her hands resting on his waist. "I still don't know if I'm in love with Bucky, Seiryu...but I do want to be with him for the time being. See if my feelings are genuine or just pity," she said, looking down. Seiryu placed his fingers under her chin and met her violet eyes. "That's a start. Consider our bond severed for now. My home and my heart are always open to you when the time comes, even if your cooled feelings for me never return to what they once were," he asked. Phoenix smiled and nodded. She wrapped her arms around him and Seiryu held her in kind, the wind blowing his cape around them.
"Thank you for letting me have this chance," she said, pulling back. Seiryu kissed her forehead and stepped back. "I will never stop loving you, Phoenix. Stay on Earth at the White Wolf's side for as long as you want. I will pray to the Weaver to give you wisdom and guidance. It's never easy to love a human," he responded. Phoenix felt a couple of tears fall from her eyes and she grunted, swiping at them. Seiryu just smiled gently. "It will be okay. This isn't the end for us. Just a divergence in our walk. We may yet walk through life together once more. But for now, your path leads to James," he assured her. Phoenix nodded and shifted back. "I'll see you again someday, Seiryu. Thank you for loving me and giving me a home," she said. With another nod, she turned in place and vanished. Seiryu's shoulders slumped and he sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.
New York City
Sam and Bucky were jogging through Central Park. "Hey, let's take a break," Sam suggested. Bucky nodded and the two slowed down to a stop. They found a bench and sat down. Sam was catching his breath while Bucky, thanks to his enhancement, was barely winded. The new Captain America looked over at the White Wolf. Bucky met his gaze and noted Sam seemed to be scrutinizing him a bit. "What?" he snarked. Sam pulled out his phone and sighed as he went through it. "Cass snapped this picture last Christmas when Phoenix was here. Care to explain?" he asked, handing the phone over. Curious, Bucky took it and his eyes widened a bit. It was a picture of him and Phoenix kissing under the mistletoe. Cass must've snuck down from his room and caught them. "We were just dancing and ended up there, Sam. She decided to follow the tradition," he said, coolly.
Sam took the phone back. "Give it to me straight, Bucky. Is that all? I know you were pretty reliable with the ladies back in the day but Nix isn't like other women. Are you sure there's nothing going on between you?" he asked. The former Winter Soldier hesitated. Sam cocked an eyebrow before he sighed. "God, Bucky. Don't tell me…," he trailed off. Bucky sighed roughly and ran a hand through his hair. "I fell in love, Sam. I don't know how or when but I did," he said. Sam rubbed his face in his hands. "Does she know?" he asked. "Yes. And that kiss under the mistletoe wasn't even the first one," the White Wolf.
Sam looked a bit appalled. "You do realize you two have been sneaking around behind Seiryu's back, right?" he ventured. "It doesn't work that way with them, Sam, and you know it. Neither of them are human and Nix hasn't exactly discouraged me either," Bucky countered. Sam leaned back on the bench. "You're both idiots," he sighed. The former Winter Soldier just stared at his feet mutinously. "You know I don't agree with this, dude. Hell, remember when I had to talk her down after you two busted Zemo from prison? I also expressed worry that this might happen," the new Cap said. Bucky shot a glare at him. "Afraid that I'm setting myself up for failure?" he shot. "Afraid that you're going to hurt her, man," Sam responded evenly. "I would never…," Bucky started before he was cut off. "Not on purpose. You know damn well how, though. Nix is almost too innocent for her age. I'm afraid you're taking advantage of that," Sam said.
"The thought has crossed my mind a lot but believe me, she's told me she doesn't feel that I am," Bucky protested. "And that's why she's also an idiot. Think, Bucky. She's someone who has very little reason to trust humans because she was created and abused by one. Her only real experience with love and romance is with a dragon and from what I understand, their courtship is very different. That's the other thing, man. She's not a human," Sam countered. Bucky set his face in his vibranium hand. "I know. But somewhere along the way, I stopped seeing her for what she is. She's a woman to me now. But honestly, Sam, I know she's way out of my league even without that being a factor. She's beautiful, kind, genuine, and so innocent. I'm not so fortunate, thanks to HYDRA. Then there's him. Her pair-bond is royalty, man. How do I stack against someone like that? I don't. I'm nothing compared to him," he said.
He met Sam's still-disapproving gaze. It was almost as if he was taking the role of a father in regards to their mutual friend and it made sense. Phoenix had zero paternity due to her creation and never had any sort of parental figure in her life growing up. Sam was the protective type and he felt responsible for her, despite her being old enough to be his great-grandmother. "I can't help it, Sam. I'm in too deep now. She's already told me she can't return my feelings and I accept that. But I can't help what I feel. She's everything I want in a woman, especially because she has never been afraid of me. Not even once. Did you know I held her at gunpoint in 2014 when HYDRA sent me after her? Know what she did? Blames it on the Winter Soldier but not me. She sees that side of me as a separate entity. She accepts all of me. How could I not fall for that?" Bucky said, ranting a bit.
Sam was quiet for a moment. "Say she returned your feelings, man. Would you really expect her to give up everything for you? She has a home elsewhere in the universe she's lived in for over 150 years. She has friends and a mother there," he brought up. "I know. I wouldn't expect her to give it up for me but that would be her decision, not mine," Bucky responded. He ran his hands through his hair. "Sorry, Sam. This whole thing is messed up and complicated but my entire life has been a wreck since 1944. I know Nix wouldn't be happy with me in the long run and I would be in Seiryu's position regardless. She's going to leave me eventually," he sighed. Sam mimicked the action. "Well, this is on both of you. I don't like it but it's not like it's my place to tell either of you what to do. As long as Nix is okay, that's what matters," he said, before standing. "You coming or should I go about my day? You have a lot to think about," he ventured. "You go ahead. I'm thinking about heading home. I'll be seeing you, Sam." Bucky responded.
Sam left then. What neither of them knew was that Phoenix had been listening to the entire conversation. She was in her false form and had her back to the tree. Bucky's honesty and openness with Sam gave her insight into his true feelings. Seemed he had displaced her true nature with her false form a while ago and she never noticed. Phoenix held her hands to her chest as she thought about what she heard. Every word Bucky said made her heart ache in ways she hadn't felt in decades. She was pretty convinced that she had been in denial all along. Somewhere along the way, she had fallen in love with him, a human.
Bucky felt so unworthy of her and Phoenix wanted to show him somehow that he was. That said, she anticipated Bucky wasn't going to like what she and Seiryu had decided so she had to plan on that. She also had no expectation of a relationship now or in the future. Her only objective was to reveal her true feelings. She heard the man in question sigh and looked around the tree to see him standing and getting ready to leave. "Bucky!" she called, coming around the tree. He turned on his heel at her voice and froze. She slowly closed the distance and looked up at him. "I heard everything," she preemptively answered his first question. Bucky's face went really red and he looked ready to bolt. Phoenix took hold of his wrist in both hands to keep him there. "I'm sorry, Nix. We've discussed this so much but one thing I never admitted to you was that you stopped being a chimera in my eyes a long time ago. You told me that if that happened, you'd bounce from this world and never come back. I didn't say anything because I don't want to lose you," he said in a low voice, looking at his feet.
Phoenix reached up to set a hand on his face. "It's okay," she responded. Bucky brought his blue-gray eyes up to meet her violets and he paused. Something was different. His heart started to pound. "What have you done?" he asked, his vibranium fingers curling into a fist. A sense of dread settled over him. Phoenix wasn't answering him fast enough and before he knew it, Bucky took her by the arms and started pushing her into the treeline. He kept it going until her back hit a tree and he pinned her to it. He half-expected her to be a bit afraid of him but her eyes showed nothing of that sort. "What did you do, Nix?" he asked again.
Phoenix's fingers had curled into his shirt when he pushed her back. She took a deep breath and brushed some hair back. "The bond is severed," she responded. As predicted, Bucky's face was nothing short of horrified. "Oh my god, I ruined everything," he said, his grip on her arms tightening. Phoenix flinched a bit. "You're hurting me," she said, causing him to let go as if she burned him. "Why?" he asked. The shifter rubbed her arms, biting her lower lip. "Because things changed," she responded. He would know what she meant, she was sure. "What do you mean? I mean, I get it but I need to hear it," Bucky said. Phoenix met his gaze and took a deep breath. "He's no longer first in my heart. We talked and...he let me go," she responded. Bucky had no idea what to think. On one hand, his impossible wish was suddenly possible. But on the other, he felt the crushing weight of the idea he caused the demise of her bond with Seiryu.
"How could you?" Bucky asked. Phoenix looked down, her hands clasped together. "Seiryu and I were together for sixty years. That's a long time. Do you think this was an easy choice for me to make, Bucky? It wasn't. I spent months agonizing over it. Feelings change. He understands that mine did," she explained. The White Wolf felt his heart skip a bit. "You mean...?" he whispered, barely daring to hope. She met his gaze and simply nodded. Her face got a red tint to it. "That part of me that felt something for you? That's my reality now," she responded. Bucky ran a hand over his face. "Do you understand the position this puts me in, Nix?" he asked.
Phoenix held her hands up. "Look, I'm not asking you for anything, Bucky. My only objective was to tell you that things have changed and I return your feelings. I'm not looking for anything more if you don't want it. For all I know, you were fine loving me from afar because, in your mind, I was unobtainable. As for myself, I was in denial for a long time and didn't even realize it until Christmas. That night...under the mistletoe...I realized that I was in love with you but I still tried to maintain the status quo. That's why I left. I needed time, space, and a change of scenery away from you so I could think about what it was I wanted," she explained. Reaching out, she took Bucky's flesh hand in hers. "You can reject me if you want. I won't mind. I just needed to make my feelings known. And it's not like I'm not able to go home again. Seiryu's door is always open to me. So rejecting me doesn't leave me in any sort of bind," she said.
Bucky turned away, mind racing. This was fairly sudden. He wasn't sure what to say. He could sense Phoenix waiting patiently behind him. He felt no sense of worry or urgency from her. He gained a whole new sense of appreciation for her. "Can you give me time?" he finally asked. A hand on his shoulder turned him to face her. Phoenix's smile was gentle and serene, further evidence that she wasn't worried about anything at all. Even the idea of rejection didn't seem to bother her. "Go home, Bucky. I'll come over tomorrow and you can tell me what you decided," she responded. Slowly nodding, the White Wolf parted ways with her. He started his jog and planted his feet in the direction of his apartment. He suddenly remembered that Phoenix had nowhere to go in the meantime and stopped. He turned back to ask her if she wanted to stay with him but she was already gone. He spotted a silver animal heading deeper into the park. He blinked before shaking his head. He should've figured.
The next morning
The sun was beginning to break the horizon. Phoenix got to her hooves and shook her body out. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes. She'd be lying if she said she was somewhat dreading Bucky's response to her own confession. He had every right to reject her and she figured her best bet to lessen the blow was to expect it. "Well...here goes nothing," she said aloud. She started to walk, drawing in the energy of the land around her to give her a boost. Phoenix gave herself a pep talk, reminding herself she was over a century old and had been rejected by the world at large because of what she was. Then again, being existentially rejected was a different ballpark from romantic rejection. But at this point in her long life, the only thing she had to lose was a friendship and a deep bond with Bucky. That was on him, though. Phoenix wouldn't end either unless he felt it had to happen for his own well-being. She came to a stop and took a deep breath. Shifting into her false form, Phoenix opened the Road and reappeared outside Bucky's door.
Bucky was sitting in the dark. He hadn't slept well the previous night. Phoenix's confession had come out of nowhere and he spent a lot of time thinking about their time together, trying to pinpoint when her feelings had changed. She had admitted in the cabin two winters ago that there had been a part of her that had feelings for him but back then, it hadn't been much of anything. Bucky had come to the conclusion that he had probably been in love with her from the start. It just hadn't been until the aftermath of the Battle For Earth when she revealed her humanshifting that it started to grow right under his nose. And all this was with full knowledge she was bound to someone else.
The White Wolf agonized over her and Seiryu's decision to cut the cord with each other. Whether it was because of him or something else, he didn't know. Bucky knew he was being stupid with applying human relational standards to humanlike animals but he couldn't help himself. Phoenix admitting love for him brought up other questions such as how normal would such a relationship be? Her inhumanness aside, Bucky's past was a constant thorn that nothing in his life had been normal in decades. More often than not, he wanted to turn back the clock and be twenty-six again. If he had just done something different on the train, like not standing so damn close to the hole that had been blasted into the side, perhaps he wouldn't be in this situation.
"But if it hadn't happened the way it did...I never would've met her. Never would've had the chance to fall in love with her," he thought morosely. In the end, Bucky knew this couldn't happen. He couldn't let her throw it all away for him, even when she would later get a chance to reclaim what she gave up. He steeled his resolve and waited for the knock on his door. When he heard it, Bucky took a deep breath and went to the door. He ignored how his heart skipped a beat when he looked through the peephole to see Phoenix standing outside and unlocked the door. He opened it and met her gaze.
The first thing Phoenix noticed was that Bucky was shirtless but she didn't let it distract her. She had to prepare for an unfavorable outcome. The White Wolf gave her a lopsided smile and stepped aside to let her in. "Why's it so dark in here?" she asked when the door closed. "Helps me think. Fewer distractions," he responded. Bucky went over and flipped a lamp on. He and Phoenix stood in the middle of the room, facing each other. "Before you give me your answer...I just want to apologize for putting you in this position, Bucky. I don't want to hurt you but part of me feels like I have. After all, you've been agonizing over me for a long time and it's only now that I realize that it was the same for me, too. Thing is, my feelings for Seiryu started cooling since the day we met. It just wasn't obvious until now. I hope I haven't ruined anything but in the end, if you think we're better off parting ways here for good, I will accept that decision. I just want what's best for you. As it stands, the only one in your way is you," she explained.
It was then that Bucky knew she was serious. She was truly free of her bond with the dragon, the one being who had been in his way the entire time. Phoenix had outright said that Seiryu had stood down and because of both his position and location, was unable to do anything about it. After all that, he couldn't go through with rejecting her. Not with the knowledge of knowing Seiryu was out of the way and Phoenix was his for the taking. "I'm not throwing away my shot," he thought. Bucky closed the distance and took her face in his hands. "If you're serious, Nix...tell me you love me," he said, in a low voice. He had lowered his head closer to hers and noted with interest there was a spark of excitement in her eyes. Phoenix's eyes dodged from his eyes to his lips and back again. She swallowed. "I love you," she whispered. That was all it took.
Phoenix squeaked when Bucky pushed his lips to hers roughly. It was like a switch had been flipped and he was letting his unbridled passion run wild. His arms wound around her and pulled her against him. He wasn't gentle this time but far from being afraid, Phoenix felt exhilarated. As she had done before, she let him lead. Bucky pushed her up against the wall and pinned her there with his body. His tongue drove itself into her mouth, causing her to actually groan. The sound drove him over the edge. Bucky got aggressive while simultaneously handling Phoenix like a precious treasure. He broke the kiss, wound his flesh hand into her hair, and pulled her head back, exposing her throat.
"God, Nix," she heard him utter before he kissed her neck. The spot he got caused Phoenix to instinctively throw herself forward into his body. Bucky noticed and proceeded to attack that spot, hoping to drive her insane. He pinned one wrist to the wall while his other hand grasped her body to keep her as still as he was able. Phoenix's free hand drilled her nails into his back, causing him to grunt a bit as she scratched him. Bucky pulled her off the wall and started pulling her to his bedroom. Once inside, he all but threw her onto the bed. He climbed on behind her. When she sat up, trying to catch her breath, Bucky pulled her hair off to the side. "The things I'd do if I could," he muttered. Phoenix looked over her shoulder at him.
She went to turn and face him but Bucky got a smirk on his face and placed a hand on her back, keeping her facing forward. "Let me take care of you," he said. Phoenix's hands curled into the comforter under her. Bucky closed the distance, kneeling right behind her. His vibranium hand set itself on one of hers. He started laying gossamer kisses on her shoulder and back. "So tense, doll. Relax. It's just me," he muttered when he noticed how stiff Phoenix's shoulders were. Her head dropped to her chest. He smirked to himself. She hadn't said a word the entire time and he figured he had stolen the voice right out of her. Before, their romantic encounters had been very tame. The closest they got to this was in the cabin. Even then, the farthest they went was getting naked but that was out of necessity.
Bucky was still mindful of what, not who, he was dealing with. He couldn't push her too far because he didn't want to spook her. He began planting his lips on any skin he could reach. Slowly, Phoenix's tenseness started to ease so Bucky started working his way up her neck. He pulled the straps of her shirt off her shoulders but made no attempt to push her shirt all the way down. Instead, he kissed her there and sighed. Phoenix's breathing was a bit labored and he wondered what she was feeling. Bucky doubted she'd be able to answer if he asked. His mind turned to Seiryu and he felt a spike of envy. It was enough.
Phoenix was startled a bit when Bucky's vibranium arm suddenly pinned her arms to her sides. Before she could get her voice to work, Bucky bit the juncture of her neck hard. His flesh hand clapped over her mouth, muffling her cry, and keeping her head tilted away from his targeted spot. Thanks to his earlier ministrations, her overall strength was weak so the most she could do was attempt to throw herself forward. It was fruitless as Bucky kept her tightly to him. He started to aggressively suck on the skin he had between his teeth, further driving her up the wall. Violet light started bleeding from her eyes. Phoenix's senses were completely overwhelmed by the sheer power and intensity of the feelings bombarding her head. She kept trying to break free but her thought processes were a complete trainwreck by this point.
Bucky could tell she was losing it a bit but he didn't feel like there was any danger. He followed her up to her knees as she tried escaping his hold. He kept a tight hold on her, relishing in the noises she was making as he marked her as his own. One arm managed to slip from his grip and her hand tried to get the one he still had clapped over her mouth off. He finally let go of her. Phoenix promptly dropped to the bed like a boned fish, breathing heavily. Bucky rested on his heels, catching his own breath. The bedroom was dark but he could imagine the love bite he planted on her neck was going to be a bit extensive. He could see a violet glow and knew he was the cause. Far from being afraid, Bucky felt a bit prideful that he was the reason. He had no clue what sort of things Phoenix and Seiryu had done when they were together but that didn't matter. He had her now.
Phoenix's otherwise empty mind had a single thought in it. She had to respond somehow. She willed her limbs to work and managed to turn herself around to look up at Bucky. She went with her next thought. She sprung at him and planted her lips on his. He responded instantly and she pulled him down on top of her. Bucky's hands held her face as their tongues started to war with each other. His metal hand was burning so cold against her right temple, Phoenix internally flinched. Bucky's hips started to rock against her and her legs, which had his hooked the second his weight rested on her, tightened. Deep down, a part of him wanted to tear her clothes off and chuck the rest of his own but a greater part warned him that if he did that, it wouldn't end well for anyone.
So he settled for one of the most intense make-out sessions he ever instigated since his youth way back in the 1930s. Bucky had no rights to Phoenix's body beyond what she was able to give. What she could give was enough. Her origins meant her biology was missing a few key components and it wasn't like any of her genetic ancestors had sex for pleasure anyway the way humans and dolphins did. Bucky wanted her heart more and he was content with the level of physical intimacy they could have. His train of thought was derailed somewhat when he felt nails dragging against his back. It wasn't long after that when Bucky sensed that Phoenix was starting to get sluggish in response time. He decided things had run their course for the time being and started bringing them both down. He broke the kiss and smiled when she met his eyes.
Bucky got confused when Phoenix spontaneously burst into tears. "Whoa, what's wrong? Did I go overboard?" he asked, running through everything they had just done and trying to pinpoint a possible cause. She vigorously shook her head in the negative. "Sorry. I just had this thought that you're going to end this before it even starts," she explained, rubbing her eyes. Bucky sighed in relief that it wasn't anything he did. "What are you talking about, Nix? Do you really think I would've taken what I wanted from you just to turn around and tell you we're not happening? Not a chance. I've been waiting my whole life for you. I know that now," he explained. He ran his thumbs under her eyes and smiled down at her.
"Look, Nix. I know things between us aren't going to be completely normal for a lot of reasons. The day will come where this ends between us. We both know this won't last forever. You are what you are and I am what I am. That's just how it is. But for now, I want this and I want you. I love you," he assured her. Phoenix cleared her eyes and gave him a small smile. Bucky gave her a sweet kiss before resting all the way on her. Her arms came up around his waist and she ran her hands along his back. She felt the scratches she had left and she bit her lip. "Sorry about your back. You have a couple of welts," she said. "No worries. In fact, that was kind of hot," Bucky responded. Silence fell with the only sounds being the two catching their breath.
"Are you sure you're okay, Nix? That was the heaviest we've ever gotten," Bucky said. "I'm fine. I know over 150 years is a long time from your perspective but I'm basically the equivalent of a human in their early twenties. So this was...well...new and exciting for me," Phoenix responded. Bucky raised his head to look at her incredulously. "Sixty years with him and you haven't gone this far?" he asked. Phoenix brushed some of her hair off. "Not human, remember? Things were different for him and me," she responded. She had a point. Bucky decided to let the entire thing lie. At the least, she was an experienced kisser. He had known that since that dodgy time in Louisiana. Phoenix had to kiss him to bring him out of it.
Bucky decided then and there he was addicted to her kisses. If he got nothing else from her, her kisses were like air to him now. "So what happens now?" came Phoenix's voice. The White Wolf lowered his head. "Well, you can live with me if you want. That said, you also can split your time between this world and your own. I don't want you to throw all of it away for me. That's not fair to you. Our situation is a weird one. I'm not entirely sure I could say you're my girlfriend but that's the gist of the relationship I would like with you. I think this is something you should take the lead on," Bucky responded.
Phoenix hummed in response, her hand absently running up and down his back. She felt content. Bucky's weight was a comforting one. His hips comfortably rested in the cradle of her own. The two just fit together so well. She took a deep breath. "Give me some time, Bucky. I'm not sure what's going to happen now," she said in a quiet voice. Bucky brought his head up to meet her eyes. He smiled gently and set a hand on her face. "If you need to cry, do it. I know you're hurting deep down because you walked away from him after sixty years for someone like me. It was mutual but I know the pain is still real. If you're having second thoughts, that's okay, too. I love you enough to let you go if you don't feel like you can go through with this. Cry it out and we can talk about it later. I just hope you believe I'm with you till the end of the line, no matter in what capacity we're together," he said.
Phoenix would forever feel grateful that Bucky was attuned to her moods and he provided a safe place for her to openly show weakness (something that could cost her dearly in the Wilds). Her eyes flooded and she started to cry again, wrapping her arms around his neck. Bucky shifted onto his side, his arms holding her tightly to him. Delayed reactions were normal for her and with their guards down now, it came as no surprise that the heartbreak that came from leaving Seiryu chose that time to assert itself. Bucky's face had a gentle smile on it while he periodically kissed her forehead letting her know he was there for her. He eventually moved them both under the covers as her breakdown ran its course. No words were spoken. Phoenix cleared her eyes and brushed her hair away. Bucky stroked her face with his metal hand. "I know you're not okay, Nix. And that's fine. Sleep it off and we'll see where we stand later, okay," he said. Phoenix's eyes closed and she nodded. It didn't take long for her to drop off. She looked really drained.
Bucky propped his head on his flesh hand and ran his fingers through her tresses. He knew the dynamic shift wasn't going to be easy and he knew the woman he loved was hurting. He was prepared for any possible outcomes, including her deciding she couldn't go through with being with him romantically. Hell, he was prepared for their own bond to break if it came to that. Bucky had put everything on the line with everything he did in the past hour. He would be okay with whatever happened, even the pain. His love for her was stronger than anything else. Bucky leaned down and planted a gentle kiss on Phoenix's neck, the opposite side of where he love-bit her. He left no mark this time. She sleepily reacted but she didn't wake. Taking a deep breath, Bucky propped his pillows up and sat up. He pulled a hardcover copy of The Hobbit off his bedside table and clipped a book light to the cover. He decided to while away the time by reading while Phoenix slept off everything.