Phoenix awoke with a start. Her back was killing her but aside from that, she felt as though something was missing. Well, something aside from her connection to her magic. She heard the door open and close. Forcing herself to her feet, she staggered to the window and spotted Bucky walking down the long drive. He had his backpack with him. Forgetting everything else, Phoenix flew into a panic and exited the room. She passed the kitchen as fast as she could, startling the Wilsons as they were getting ready to eat, and ignored both Sam and Sarah's attempts to call her. Pushing out the door, Phoenix cringed a bit as she felt her back tear a bit from the abuse. "Bucky, wait! Bucky, stop!" she yelled. It was clear he didn't want to but the White Wolf stopped nonetheless. He kept his back to her. The shifter tripped and hit the ground as she closed the distance, letting out a small cry as her wound pulled and she could feel something warm spreading across her back. She didn't care.

Gritting her teeth, she looked up at him. "Where are you going?" she asked, trying to shake the stars in her vision. Bucky didn't respond right away but he eventually took a deep breath and his head bowed. "I'm going home," he said. Phoenix bit her lower lip, her panic starting to rise again at his choice of words. He said "he" was going home. Not "they were". Phoenix fought through the pain to brace her hands on the ground and pull her knees back so she was at least sitting where she fell. Her eyes were locked on his back. "You're leaving me here?" she asked in a quiet tone. "Sam and Sarah say you're going to stay here so you can heal. It's a good idea, really. It's quiet here and you'll be surrounded by nature," he said. He still wouldn't turn around.

Phoenix's heart was racing. Bucky wasn't telling her everything. She didn't have to be an animal to know that. "What aren't you telling me?" she asked. Bucky finally turned to face her. "Why did you do it, Nix?" he asked instead. The shifter's frayed nerves finally got the best of her and she moved to stand, only for her back to send her pitching forward and catching herself on her hands. "Everything I did, I did because I don't want to be a chimera anymore! I don't want a life after you! I don't want to linger in this life for centuries waiting to die just so I can see you again! I couldn't take it! I want to be mortal and I can't be what you need me to be as I am now!" she yelled. Bucky was surprisingly calm. She had half-expected him to yell back at her. He just shook his head. "You really think I wanted any of this? I told you you were perfect to me as you are and you still tried to change. I can't tell if that's a lack of faith in you or a lack of faith in me, and that hurts even more," he stated.

He shifted the backpack higher on his shoulder. "You made a liar out of me, Nix. You went behind my back to pull a stunt that nearly killed you. You know he would've held me responsible if he hadn't intervened in time and I wouldn't be able to live with the guilt if you had died," he said. Phoenix stared at him. A muscle in his jaw twitched but he swallowed any emotion that threatened to show itself. "You need to look at your left hand and remember what that ring actually means. I'm sorry, Nix. But I can't look at you right now and I don't even know if we're going to survive this," he said. His words came down like a boulder and Phoenix stared at him. Bucky readjusted his backpack. He then sighed and turned away. "I'll be seeing you, Nix," he said before walking off.

Sarah and Sam, who had followed her out of the house due to concern, had remained out of earshot until Bucky walked off. Once he was farther out, the siblings closed the distance and Sarah knelt down. "Phoenix?" she asked, hands hovering over her shoulders. The shifter turned what Sam recognized as shellshocked eyes towards her. "He abandoned me…," she said before completely shutting down. Sarah looked at Sam worriedly. The new Cap watched as Bucky vanished from sight. "Nothing we can do, Sis. Let's just focus on getting Phoenix healed," he said. The two took Phoenix by the arms and wrapped them around their necks. Despite her catatonia, she was completely compliant so they had no issues getting her back into the house and to Sarah's room.

Sam came out so Sarah could change the dressings on Phoenix's back to see Cass down the hall, looking worried and sad. "What's wrong with her, Uncle Sam?" he asked. Sam just gave him a sad look. Of the two, Cass was closer to Phoenix because he was younger and he looked up to her as a role model. The new Cap took a deep breath before closing the distance and sitting them both down on the top step. "Phoenix and Bucky need some time apart. She's just feeling lost and hurt right now. You and AJ need to give her space until she's better. Cool?" he said. Cass nodded, looking at his mother's door. Sam brought him back down to the kitchen and they started to eat breakfast. After a bit, Sarah came down and motioned for him to join her. "What's up?" he asked in a low voice. "Her back opened up a bit but not too much. She fell back asleep as well. She could be out for most of the day," she said. Sam nodded before running a hand over his face. "What a mess those two are in. I was kind of afraid of this," he said. "Nothing to be done about it now. I'd leave Bucky alone if I were you and I'll take care of Phoenix until she's ready to leave," Sarah responded.

Five hours later…

Bucky finally walked in the door to his apartment. It had been a long flight and the afternoon was giving way to the evening. He set his backpack on the floor and went to the kitchen. The serum in his veins would keep him sober but he really needed a drink. He poured himself a scotch and went to sit on his couch. The glass was halfway up to his lips when Bucky froze. The past couple of days came rushing back and in a fit of rage, he threw the glass against the wall. It shattered with a bang and he just went off from there, giving no thought or care to his neighbors. He mindlessly demolished a few things but was still present enough to avoid damaging the actual room (even though he really wanted to put a few holes in the wall). It only lasted for about ten minutes and Bucky collapsed against the wall, breaking down.

It wasn't just what Phoenix had done that did him in. Bucky felt her absence acutely. He had gotten used to her being there all the time so her absence made his apartment feel so cold and empty. His own mind couldn't decide which emotion was stronger. He kept swinging between severe disappointment she had pulled the stunt she did and guilt that he left her behind on top of feeling responsible for the whole thing. He felt trapped in an impossible situation. Something he read once online said that if someone showed you their true colors, believe them. Did Phoenix show hers? Somehow, he didn't think there was any maliciousness in what she tried to pull. She was honest to a fault and it was clear the idea of a life after him had done her in. Bucky hadn't really thought that far ahead. Even after things got serious between them, he was still operating on the idea that eventually, their paths were destined to split off. He had no idea that Phoenix's feelings for him had gotten to the point she tried to throw her true self away.

Unbidden, memories of their little trip to Maine came to mind and Bucky felt even worse. Why the hell did he ever admit he wanted to make love to her? If he had kept his mouth shut, maybe she wouldn't have tried the spell. She still would've been aware of how far they could go but she wouldn't have felt some sort of pressure to make it happen. The memories from the night he asked to be her pair-bond came up and he felt even worse. He remembered feeling her hands close on his jeans when he started to trip out as things started to pick up. Had she begun to lose control herself and instinctively sent a message she wanted him to take her regardless of the pain she would feel?

He suddenly remembered that even before that, Phoenix had shed some tears. At the time, he assumed she was crying out of joy for their relationship. But what if she had been thinking about the ways she was lacking compared to actual women? What if that had been the catalyst to her seeking to become human? Bucky didn't know anymore and that killed him. His love for her had taken a beating but he couldn't bring himself to hate her. Phoenix had some misguided ideas on what would make him happy when all it took was her being happy and healthy. Bucky hadn't lied about being content with what they could do, in the bedroom or otherwise. She didn't have to do anything more than that. Wishful thinking was just that and Bucky had been a pawn to other men for too long to ever consider pushing someone into something that wasn't good for them.

Phoenix could not engage because of how her body was created. Bucky just couldn't see them having intimacy as anything other than a rape. Even if she were completely willing and consented, the fact she would be in too much pain to enjoy it made the entire idea distasteful to him. Any well-adjusted adult would pass on things that would cause them pain. Why would she willingly throw her own comfort away? Phoenix was almost a little too selfless. Or maybe she was selfish in this case. Bucky could only guess and the more he thought about it, the more his head hurt. He curled against the wall, his body aching from the stress. His thoughts were spiraling out of control by this point and he eventually passed out on the floor.

Later that night, NYC

Bucky sneezed and awoke with a start. He felt like he got hit by a truck. Aside from a massive headache, sleeping on the hard floor didn't do him any favors. He cursed as he got into a sitting position. His apartment felt so cold. It took him a moment to recall everything and the reality of things settled on him. Phoenix wasn't there. She was over a thousand miles and nine states away. Bucky looked around at the stuff he broke in his fit of rage the day before and he froze when his eyes landed on something in particular. Nearby were the shattered remains of one of the turtledove figurines he had given at Christmas the previous year. What made it worse was that it was Phoenix's half of the pair. One of the wings, the head, and the tail had snapped off. Bucky crawled over and reached out to pick up the pieces but his hands were shaking so badly, he stopped.

The bird could be repaired but the implications of what he had done came down on his head. Turtledoves symbolize friendship and love. They mated for life. The fact he had broken Phoenix's figurine made him feel like he got stabbed and shot at the same time. Was this really what he wanted? But at the same time, Bucky recalled that Phoenix nearly killed herself over him. He just didn't know if he had the strength to look past that, not after all the decades he had suffered. On top of that, he still didn't know why she had done it. Depression settled on him and Bucky left the remains of the bird where they were. He needed a hot shower, anything to stave off the abnormal arctic chill he was feeling. He was about to enter the bathroom when he suddenly felt like he wasn't alone. Rounding on his heel, the White Wolf balked a bit.

The ghostly image of a one-eyed dragon about two feet long was floating in his living room, watching him. "What is this?" Bucky asked, his depression being offset by annoyance. While he was grateful he had managed to stop Phoenix the day before, seeing Seiryu replaced Bucky's fear of him with resentment. "Just checking in. Any leader worth his scales would care for those he leads. Though in this case, it's mainly because we're both hurting over the same mare," the dragon replied. Bucky closed the distance and made to punch the spirit, only for him to pass straight through. Seiryu just sighed. "Misaiming your anger much? Typical," he said. Bucky scowled but true to his nature, his species, and his age, Seiryu wasn't to be intimidated. "This is your fault!" Bucky ranted.

The dragon shot him a look of annoyance and whipped him in the face with his tail, stunning him in addition to hurting him. Clearly, Bucky couldn't hit him but it didn't go both ways. His tail had enough corporeality to physically hit him. "I had nothing to do with this and you know it. If this is about the fact Phoenix read an ancient scroll that happens to be in my possession, you're a damn fool for assuming that I actively encouraged her to attempt it. Don't talk down to me like you understand how much this whole thing is tearing my own heart out," Seiryu scolded. The fire in Bucky died down and the abnormal chill came back. He looked away from the spirit dragon. The High King took a deep breath and let it out. "In any case, I'm not about to get into it now but later, when things cool down, you and I need to have a chat. I want to understand your side of things. Do we have an accord?" he then asked. Bucky mulled over it for a moment.

"I thought you said you weren't going to interfere," he then said. "I'm not. I'm approaching this the way I do whenever anyone comes to my Castle to petition me. I'm hoping to gather whatever information I can about this and provide guidance if you want it. I know Phoenix and I have a history but I'm so old and have gone through similar circuses throughout the millennia that it's second nature for me to take that factor out of the equation," Seiryu explained. Bucky gave him a bit of an incredulous look and the dragon just chuckled. "Again, this is your choice. The only reason I'm asking you is because Phoenix won't talk to me right now and I'm not the one she needs," he said. Bucky slowly nodded. "If I decide to talk to you, how can I get in touch?" he asked. "I plan to check in a couple of weeks. For now, just focus on getting yourself straightened out," the spirit said before winking out.

Bucky sighed and turned back towards his bathroom. He turned the shower on and got in. He belatedly realized he wanted to ask why he felt so cold when his apartment wasn't that chilly. The hot shower did help, though. Bucky just stood under it and let it run off him. His tenseness eased off as his muscles relaxed. His overall emotional state, however, hadn't improved. He was still alone, still angry that Phoenix had almost killed herself over things he thought they moved past, and still depressed that it had come to this because they were both so stupid. Once he was done with the shower, his joints started aching so he dried off and threw on some pajama pants. He crawled into bed after shutting off the lights and locking up. The chill was starting to settle in his bones again but he didn't have the energy to do much other than curl up and hope he was able to sleep. The lack of warmth of another body in his bed didn't go unnoticed either. Bucky hadn't felt this alone in a long time and a part of him wished she were there with him.

Louisiana

Phoenix woke up around midnight. Her entire body was killing her, not just her wound. She was sweating like mad but at the same time, she was freezing. She just lay in bed, exhausted and alone. She fought through the agony to pull Sarah's blankets up to try to warm herself up. The additional weight on her back caused the bandaged wound to complain a bit but it was just another part of the compounded issues she found herself dealing with. Not having the man she loved with her didn't help. His absence made it seem like her heart was being torn out and the ache in her bones worse. Phoenix wasn't sure if this was a result of her actions in general or if there was some unknown aspect to their pair-bond that was causing physical issues. She hadn't felt like this when she and Seiryu severed theirs. She couldn't wager any guesses and she was in too much agony to think on it further. Phoenix just closed her eyes and her exhaustion managed to do her in despite the pain. "Bucky…," was her last thought before oblivion took her and a couple tears leaked out from under her eyelids.