The Next Morning,
Chizuru felt the first rays of weak sunlight, entering her room ,trying to prod her awake. She stubbornly refused and turned to the other side, absolutely unwilling to face a cold December morning . A little while later she covered her head with her blanket , which gave her another half hour of blissful sleep . But eventually she had to give up and wake up .
She stretched gingerly as her stiff muscles creaked and groaned. A performance always did that to her. It wore her out ,physically and emotionally. She was debating going back to sleep when suddenly there was a flash of light on her eyes . She blinked trying to figure out what it was and then realized that something had reflected the sunlight. She looked around her as the odd flash kept hitting her until she finally found it .
The sparkling diamond engagement ring on the ring finger of her left hand.
Chizuru stared at it blankly for a second before it registered in her mind .
Once it did , she nearly shrieked out aloud as the events of the previous night flooded her mind , as she remembered how overcome with emotion she had been and how she had come back here and slipped the ring on her finger.
Half an hour later ,
Chizuru stepped into her bathroom wearing only a towel. She checked the temperature of the water in her bathtub . Hot enough to feel the bite of the water without getting burnt , just how she liked it.
She dropped the towel and then stood under the shower for a few minutes , washing and shampooing her hair , allowing the first sparks of heat to spread through her , before climbing into the tub .
She closed her eyes as the heat truly permeated through her , warming her up, rejuvenating her and breathing life into those stiff muscles .
On the side , she had arranged her phone, a few magazines and a thermos of hot coffee , all she needed to stay in the warmth of the tub for the next hour or so .
She lay back with her eyes closed for a few minutes before opening them and glancing at her left hand . She may not have been wearing any clothes but she still had the ring on .
" I really went overboard yesterday huh ? " , she admitted out aloud .
"But I couldn't help getting swept up by all of it . The play , the dinner , that other couple and most of all ... him . He was so ... amazing . He was just sparkling the whole night . He was ... irresistible. The way he was dressed, his thoughtfulness, his generosity, his encouragement, his happiness . All of it. It was all too much for me to handle. There's no way I could have remained unaffected after all that . There's no way I couldn't have started imagining, started dreaming about him and ... and me . And then that proposal , that just sent me to the stratosphere. And my mind , the images in it were so vivid , so real almost like I could reach out and touch them.
I just couldn't help myself " , she reasoned.
She glanced again at the engagement ring and sighed . She thought back to those first difficult days after Grandma Nagomi had given her the ring . Of course there was the overwhelming problem of her grandmother's sickness and the impending end of her deadline as well but in between it whenever she got a moment , Chizuru would pull out the ring and stare at it , full of a horrible guilt . She had always felt guilty about how far above and beyond Kazuya and Grandma Nagomi went for her but the ring was too much .
It had made her feel terrible, deceitful even. She felt like she had conned that beautiful, amazing, kind and loving family and filled their heads with dreams of her marriage and basically cheated them into handing over one of their most precious heirlooms.
She had lost count of the number of times she picked up her phone and pulled up Grandma's number or stood outside Kazuya's door with the ring in her pocket trying to give it back, but something had always stopped her . She had always been unable to give up the ring .
Then Kazuya promised to make the movie for her and she asked him to do just that and as the days and weeks passed by , something changed. She still felt guilty about how she had gotten it , but ... she found herself unable to even think of giving it back .
And she had found a place for it in her apartment. On the little shrine to her grandparents , next to their pictures.
Chizuru smiled just a bit and realized,
" I guess I must have subconsciously.. accepted the ring back then . That's why I placed it there, next to Grandma and Grandpa and prayed in front of it every morning.
My past and my future.
Or at least , the future I started dreaming of " .
An hour and a half later ,
Chizuru sat in front of the mirror , patiently drying her hair before neatly brushing it . She was now wearing her usual hoodie ,skirt and tights combo and her glasses . She then pulled out the cat paw brooch , Kazuya had given her and put it through her hair. She then smiled simply at her reflection
She then slowly pulled off the engagement ring and placed it back in its box before returning it to its place .
" I enjoyed that but ... it's not right for me to wear it like that " , she told herself as she put it back .
She then pulled up her calendar and checked it . She had cleared everything for today, leaving her to recover after the play . Tomorrow she had a rental client however and so she got everything ready for that before plopping down on her couch with the novel she was halfway through and her TV remote and laptop within reach , settling down to enjoy a lazy day.
In the Evening,
After lazing around the whole day , Chizuru finally decided to stretch her legs and go take a walk outside .
" And maybe get myself some brownies " , she told herself and so she grabbed her things and was headed out when she suddenly heard a familiar high pitched voice from the bottom of the stairs
She glanced down to see Ruka clinging onto Kazuya's arm .He was trying to extract himself from her while she held on tighter and seemed to be yelling at him.
Biting back the pangs of jealousy she was feeling , Chizuru darted back into her apartment , suspecting that Ruka's apparent unhappiness was related to her .
She waited for a few minutes before taking a peek and saw Ruka headed back down . She stayed in place for a few more minutes and then exited her apartment and saw Kazuya staring at his apartment door . He didn't notice her and so with her heart now pounding, she took a second to compose herself and greeted him
" Hey "
He nearly jumped out of his skin , surprised before seeing her and calming down and replying
"Oh , Mizuhara? Hi "
Chizuru glanced back and forth at him and the retreating figure of the ribboned high schooler and then asked ,
" I didn't mean to eavesdrop or anything but Ruka-chan seemed upset about something? "
" Um , yeah " he replied, nervously scratching the back of his head.
" You know this and that . Nothing major " , he vaguely continued.
" He's definitely hiding something " , she thought dryly before signing and continuing,
"I know it's none of my business and you have no reason to tell me but she seemed pretty angry . And she basically escorted you back here ? That's almost a sure sign that whatever she's upset about has something to do with me " .
Kazuya twitched nervously confirming Chizuru's suspicions . She continued , confidently,
" Like I said , you don't have to tell me anything but ... the last time you held something back , things snowballed quickly and ended up creating a huge mess right?
So if you have something that's bothering you , you can tell me , if you want " .
Kazuya was silent for some time, his eyes darting back and forth between his door and Chizuru like he wanted to run inside .
He then seemed to go through a variety of emotions, all of which were displayed on his face . A little fear , embarrassment, worry , thoughtfulness, before the determination that Chizuru was so used to seeing .
He then turned away from her , blatantly avoiding eye contact and began , slowly and hesitatingly.
"Ruka-chan and I had a shift together at work today. And ... "
He stopped for a second and Chizuru prodded,
"And ? "
He turned back towards her , still not meeting her eyes , instead staring at a point behind her. His iron-willed determination was basically emanating from him at this point, which pulled a few tendrils of fear from Chizuru's chest .
"What did he do ? " , she wondered waiting for him to answer.
He took a deep breath and replied, softly
" I asked Ruka-chan to break up with me " .
Silence .
Absolute silence .
Not a sound was heard as Chizuru stared expressionlessly at Kazuya while he looked anywhere except her .
"Why would he " , she wondered before her mouth echoed the question,
" Why would you... ? ", she started before her voice trailed off
Kazuya was silent for some time before answering, uncertainly .
" Well ... you know , it's been over a year since the trial started and Ruka-chan's been talking about our anniversary a lot and I just realized that I should end it . Because... like I told you , I still don't have feelings for her. And I feel like I've strung her along all this time because she's going out with me only because she's hoping that I'll date her for real but even after a year I'm sure that's not what I want and that makes me feel like a real creep .
So I... uh.. thought that I should end the trial " .
" Bullshit ", Chizuru thought to herself.
"He's always been a terrible liar . I can see right through him . He's just stringing reasons together. Then ... his real reason is ... "
She stopped her train of thought as she realized,
" M...Me ? "
She glanced at him as he still stared off into the distance refusing to meet her eyes .
"I knew I went too far yesterday . I mean of course I did , I basically told him to his face that I wanted to marry him. He must have figured out what I meant . And now he's doing exactly what I didn't want. He's throwing away what he wants for my sake . And now the trial is over . It's not like I'm not happy about that but ... I didn't want it like this. I want him to feel the same way I do . I don't want to take advantage of his kindness any more " .
Chizuru was silent unable to say anything till she suddenly wondered ,
"Wait if the trial is over , why was she here? "
"What did she say ", Chizuru suddenly blurted out
" Eh ?" , Kazuya reacted, surprised ,before answering sheepishly
"Well , she was upset, naturally. Then she yelled at me for some time and then reminded me that she could tell Grandma about us . And then she refused to end the trial " .
Chizuru stared at him , trying to process everything but failing to do so , muttered,
" This is a huge mess " .
The next day ,
Chizuru walked through the crowd , careful not to push anyone as she headed steadily towards her destination, a Cafe where her client was waiting . But her mind was as far from the date as possible.
She had barely slept the previous night , agonizing over what Kazuya had told her.
After he had explained everything, he had glanced at her hopefully , looking for some kind of answer or solution about what to do with Ruka but she had been unable to give him one . And that was exactly what she had fixed on.
She had no idea what to tell him . She had berated herself repeatedly for having been stupid enough to let the cat out of the bag . She couldn't shake the feeling that Kazuya's actions were out of his own kindness and obedience to his Grandma's wishes rather than feelings for her and that just brought back those old demons that whispered into her ear that she was deceiving him for her own gain.
She had no idea whether to tell him to be firm with Ruka or encourage him to give her another chance. She knew that he would do exactly what she told him and she was terrified that she would be driven by selfish desire rather than concern for him or even worse tell him to be with Ruka and find out later that he also had genuine feelings for her .
She finally reached her client and after a few uncertain moments , she resumed her perfect routine and handled the date faultlessly before seeing him off and receiving a five star review and a booking for next week.
Once upon a time , that would have brought a smile to her face , but today Chizuru just sighed , closed her phone and slowly began heading back .
99 times out of a 100 , that would have been it but the red thread of fate that was looped around Kazuya's and Chizuru's hands had other ideas
As Chizuru turned the corner and was walking steadily away , she heard a voice call out to her,
"Chizuru? "
Chizuru turned instinctively and was surprised to see the person who had called out to her.
Kinoshita Harumi. Kazuya's mother.
" Oh , great. More complications " , she thought to herself before hurriedly greeting her,
" Hello , it's so good to see you , moth.. " , Chizuru's voice caught on that word .
Mother
Whenever she had met Kazuya's family, in perfect rental mode , she had always addressed his parents by father and mother.
But now things were different. In this setting, with her feelings haywire , she couldn't bring herself to say it .
Harumi laughed and waved her off ,
"It's alright Chizuru. You don't have to call me that . I know that you try very hard for uh.. Grandma Nagomi's sake but you can just call me Harumi or Harumi-san now "
" Harumi-san is fine " , Chizuru replied gratefully .
Harumi smiled and asked,
"So ,Chizuru what are you doing here by yourself?"
" Oh , I was just with my friends " , she replied becoming slightly less wary .
" Looks like it's just a friendly chit-chat ", she thought to herself.
She glanced at Harumi and noticed a couple of changes . Usually she had her hair tied up in a neat bun but today , it was let loose and Chizuru could see her long brown hair. She was also dressed a bit casually as well .
"What about you , Harumi-san ? " , Chizuru asked.
Harumi laughed and replied,
"Oh I get a day off every week. Grandma insists that I shouldn't do any work on my off day , either at home or at the store, so I usually go out.
" Oh , that's nice " , Chizuru replied
" Chizuru do you want to come with me ? ", Harumi asked
" Eh ? Where ? "
" I was just going to the hair salon, get a little touch-up . Why don't you come with me ? "
" Eh ? Oh I shouldn't. And it's your holiday right? You wouldn't want me to .. "
" Nonsense " , Harumi waved off Chizuru's protests .
" I'll get bored by myself anyway " .
Chizuru realizing that Kazuya's determination might not completely be from his grandmother, nodded a yes .
They walked in silence for some time before Harumi began engaging Chizuru in conversation which soon flowed between the two women varying from topic to topic , ranging from where they buy clothes to cooking tips, all of which Chizuru noted down in her head, as the older woman proved herself to be something of an expert.
Once they reached the salon, Harumi-san took over again, asking the hairdresser to just trim Chizuru's ends and her bangs just a bit and also gave her some specifications for the main volume of her hair , assuring Chizuru that it would refine her layered look . Of course Harumi checked with Chizuru before doing anything and soon both women were getting their hair washed and shampooed .
Harumi admired Chizuru's hair as it was being styled, calling it "gorgeous" and telling her that she should never ever cut it short and Chizuru slightly embarrassed complimented Harumi's hair as well and so the two women enjoyed their time at the salon.
Soon both were walking outside again , their hair gleaming in the Evening sun . Chizuru had insisted on paying as a thanks to Harumi and after much resistance , she had relented.
That easy conversation flowed between them again and Chizuru couldn't help feeling something welling up inside her.
A curious warmth. A strange happiness. An unfamiliar comfort .
It wasn't like what she felt around Kazuya at all . This was of a different nature entirely . But it was strangely familiar as well , even though she
was sure she hadn't felt it before . She found herself nostalgic for something she had never known.
" Is this... what it's like having a mom ? " , Chizuru wondered wistfully.
She couldn't help remembering random snippets of conversations from her high school and college, her friends complaining about how their mom's were so "weird" and how they wanted to "hang out" with their daughters and how it was so "embarrassing" .
Chizuru had never understood how someone could feel like that and after having this experience she could understand it even less .
" This family's so wonderful " , she thought to herself.
"Grandma, Kazuo-san , Harumi-san and him. They're all so amazing. They take care of me so well,even though all I do is lie to them.
But now even more than ever , I want to be part of this family.
But that's exactly why I need to know how he really feels about me . Because if it's just for Grandma's or my sake, there will never be any happiness for either of us " .
Chizuru stopped for a while before wishing to herself,
" I wish I could ask somebody " .
Her eyes suddenly landed on Harumi and before she knew it the words had left her mouth.
" Harumi-san, can I ask you something? "
Harumi turned and answered,
"Sure " .
Chizuru stood , shocked by herself .
"There's no way I can bring this up . She thinks we're already dating " , she told herself firmly and said out aloud ,
"No , it's nothing. Just something silly " .
Harumi however didn't move . She just smiled and spoke gently,
" I actually felt like something's been on your mind , since we ran into each other . I didn't want to push you , but if you want some help , you can ask me "
Harumi paused and continued ,
" And if it's something you want to ask me , that almost certainly means that it's about Kazuya. " .
Chizuru was silent , stunned by Harumi's shrewd perception.
" I need an answer" , she thought to herself.
" I can't go on like this " .
Ichinose Chizuru was not someone who opened up to people at all but in that moment , with her feelings in disarray and the warmth that Harumi had shown her pulled her open.
She swallowed nervously , thinking carefully , framing her question before replying
"You're right. It is about Kazuya-san. And I can't ask him because the question would probably hurt him. So please don't tell him or anyone else"
Harumi took a step closer to her , smiled a bit more gently and asked,
"Of course I won't dear .So , what is it ? "
Chizuru sighed deeply before diving into her fear ,
"The first thing Kazuya-san ever told me about himself " , she began.
" Was about Grandma. How she started and grew the store , how she raised Kazuo-san by herself, how much he admired and respects her and wants to make her proud.
And from the second Grandma saw me , she's been so happy with me and she's always been so enthusiastic about Kazuya-san and me having a relationship .
It's just... I just ... I can't help wondering... I can't help being afraid that Kazuya-san only picked me because of how happy Grandma is . I can't help worrying that he doesn't feel happy with me
I know it's irrational and unfair to him but I can't help myself ." .
Chizuru stopped and looked straight at Harumi before continuing,
" Harumi-san, I've never admitted this out aloud, but I'm deadly serious about our relationship. That's why I need to know that I'm truly his choice and not Grandma's " .
Harumi was quiet for some time before she stretched out her hand and held Chizuru's gently. With an abundance of caring kindness , she replied,
" Oh , my dear . You don't have to feel guilty about feeling like this at all . It's more than reasonable to feel like this.
To be honest, I've had moments where I've also questioned the love of the people around me " .
"Really ? " , Chizuru asked, surprised.
Harumi laughed and replied,
" Yes , really. Actually, Kazuya and his father are very similar you know and when I got engaged to him , I always worried that he wouldn't take to me replacing his mother as the woman in his life . And I had some tough times .
But , Chizuru , as someone who also was the woman outside the family , being asked to become a part of it , I think you know exactly how amazing the Kinoshitas are . And how easy it is to fall completely under their spell.
How amazing they are , how they pull you in and make you feel like you never want to leave ".
Chizuru nodded slowly and Harumi continued,
" So it took me a while, but I realized that I wasn't just accepted, I was wholeheartedly welcomed into this family and that they were both much happier because of me " .
Chizuru was surprised at the candor with which the older woman spoke but continued listening carefully,
"Chizuru about your problem, the truth is that in the beginning Kazuya was probably swayed to a certain degree by his Grandma's feelings.
And I think you'll find that you were also swayed by certain factors when you started " .
Chizuru nodded , remembering how she had initially agreed to keep the rental act up only for their Grandma's sakes .
Harumi continued,
" But that was true only for the beginning.
You know , Chizuru, Kazuya cares more about other people's feelings than his . It's how he's been since he was a child.
That's how I know that his feelings for you are genuine.
Because, to get the satisfaction of seeing his Grandma proud and happy , he would never deceive another person and destroy their happiness.
That's how I know that his feelings for you now have nothing to do with Grandma or anyone else .
His feelings for you are about you and you alone and all the girls in the world wouldn't change that.
So you can trust him with everything , Chizuru ".
Chizuru stood in there unmoving, in complete silence , letting each and every word of Harumi's seep into her before she broke out into a quiet smile and said softly,
" Thank you , Harumi-san " .
The two didn't talk much after that until it was time for them to go their separate ways . They said goodbye to each other but before she left Harumi-san added ,
" Chizuru , I know that I've probably never shown any indication of it and I've definitely not said anything but I'm as happy as Grandma that you're a part of our lives and if one day , you would be my daughter, I would be overjoyed " .
Chizuru blushed deeply , not knowing how to answer to that but Harumi understood and smiled warmly and took her leave.
As Chizuru walked back she couldn't help thinking,
" Having a mom is really amazing" .
Soon Chizuru was at the apartment stairs , the guilt she had felt all this while, fading and now the realization of why Kazuya would have attempted to end the trial, began to set in.
That made her feel an odd combination of excitement, anxiety and happiness.
" It's not enough though " , she reminded herself.
" I've found some of the answers I've wanted since I realized my feelings. But there are a few left to answer . And him trying to end things with Ruka is definitely a step forward . But I've still got more to do and I've got to do it " .
As she walked past his apartment and heard the sound of him rustling around, she couldn't help worrying about him and how he would be agonizing about what to do with Ruka .
" But it's not right for me to say anything " , she told herself firmly.
" There's no way I'd give him an unbiased opinion".
Suddenly in a flash of lightning, Chizuru realized exactly what to tell Kazuya and immediately she banged on his door.
He opened his door and was visibly surprised to see her and began,
" Mizuhara, why are you.. " .
But she interrupted him ,
" About yesterday, what you told me about Ruka-chan , you don't know to do right ? "
"Yeah " , Kazuya admitted after a few seconds, slightly confused.
She took a breath before telling him,
" If you don't know what the right thing to do is , then you should follow your heart . Whatever it's telling you to do , trust it and do what you need to do " .
Kazuya was silent for a while before he grinned a bit and replied,
"Thanks , Mizuhara. I think I know what to do " .
Chizuru smiled back and returned to her apartment thinking to herself,
" That's the best advice I can give . If Ruka-chan is who you want , then you should go for her " .
She paused for a second as that now familiar heat that she called love started from her chest and spread across the body .
"And if it's me then ... you can have me " .
Kazuya lay on his bed thinking to himself, a serious expression on his face ,
" Follow my heart ? Then there's no doubt. It's Mizuhara.
I'll keep trying my best to convince Ruka-chan but I won't leave Mizuhara by herself " .
He thought a little more and then decided ,
" The plan we made to go watch the movie together, she didn't say anything about a rental . So I won't rent her. If she asks me to , I will . Otherwise I'll play it off later.
But this way she'll be going on a real date with me . And I'll do my best to show her I can be , not just a boyfriend, but more than that as well ".
A/N : I'm so unbelievably happy to writing again and I hope you all enjoy this chapter.
New Chapters will once again be released every Wednesday.
Harumi helps Chizuru and Chizuru helps Kazuya. A nice little sequence of good natured people helping each other
Took a few liberties with Harumi's character since we barely have ang reference material with her . Hope she's an enjoyable presence in this chapter.
The reason I chose her was to give Chizuru that Mom moment that she's never had in her life and I think she loved it
Big thanks to everyone who waited for this chapter and for all the encouraging messages and for repeatedly asking me when the story would return. That showed me exactly how well this story has been received .
Thanks once again and Cheers .
Next Time : The Movie Date