The Next Day ,
Chizuru sat on her bed , completely still , unmoving as she stared at the ceiling. The memories of what could only be a date weighed on her , pushing everything else from her mind , leaving him as the sole occupant of her thoughts.
She sighed a bit but then lit up almost immediately as another spark of memory , the two of them laughing together , spread through her for the umpteenth time .
She looked at the two objects placed on her bed just in front of her , the things she had been staring at all this time .
The engagement ring .
And the photo from the previous day .
"It really was a date huh ? " , she admitted
"Our first date ? Our first real date , right ? "
She felt her feelings pounding away again , a sensation she was now getting used to , and continued,
"I really ,really enjoyed myself . I knew I would ... but it was way more than I expected . Almost more than I could handle. Every single time, I thought I had reached the peak of happiness I could reach , he ... he just raised me to another height. Again and again, this is what he always does , he keeps showing me that what I feel for him is almost limitless .
That's why ... " .
Chizuru's forehead creased again, almost curiously. Why was she troubled, she was overflowing with happiness wasn't she ? But she was grappling with a decision, a decision that scared her but was also the decision she knew she had to make , the decision that every fibre of her being was battling through her fear , begging her to choose the right option .
And she did .
"That's why... " , she breathed out aloud.
"I can't wait anymore.
I have to tell him " .
Chizuru closed her eyes and thought back to the fears she had when she realized her feelings and chose to wait .
"Is he really in love with me ?"
"I don't know for sure , but he seems so happy around me . He's always happy to spend time with me , to spend as much as possible. And it's nearly been two years , he's been so happy to spend most of that with me . And he's always said the odd weird thing to me that would indicate that the answer is yes .
And he did tell me he did ... almost ".
"Am I really the one who makes him happy or is it Mami-san or Ruka-chan or someone else ?"
"He's tried to end things with Ruka-chan .He's not made a single attempt to get back with Mami-san since the beach. And he's always insisted that both these decisions were his own choice."
"If I am his choice , is it influenced by Grandma or is it his own feelings ?"
"This is what Harumi-san talked to me about. She insisted that he would only stick with me for so long because of his own feelings.
And I can't help hoping and believing that's true".
"If he does choose me and we start a relationship, will we survive together? Or will we break up?"
"There's no way to get an answer for that . It's an insane pre-requisite, an impossible thing to ask of him . It's not right to say to someone that I'll only date him if he promises his life to me . Sure hundreds of people say that during confessions but I would mean it with every inch of my being. That's why I can't put that on him like that ".
Chizuru turned and glanced at her grandparents who seemed to be twinkling in the sunlight.
" So ... I guess I made my decision " , she accepted.
"I'm going to tell him... how I really feel and want I really want. I've strung him along long enough without committing while he's done the opposite, he's committed everything.
So I will do it " .
"When?" , the question popped in her mind .
She thought about it carefully trying to separate her longing from it and so she deliberated ,
"It's too soon right away. And he's not here for Christmas. And our ... date yesterday was so special. I really meant what I said, it was the best day , all year . I don't want to take away how special it was
And ... after what happened this year, Grandma... if it works out... In the future ,I don't want to think back to me and him ... and remember about Grandma... passing away the same year . But I don't want to wait any more than is necessary
So ...".
She took a deep breath and decided ,
"January 1st" .
She slowly let the impact of her decision hit her and after a few seconds of confoundedness , she couldn't help but smiling.
She then glanced at the time on her phone casually . Once she saw that it was nearly afternoon, she jumped out of bed , just now remembering,
"I have to find a Christmas present " .
A Couple Of Days Later ,
Kazuya glanced beside him, watching Ruka chatting away animatedly , as that deep feeling of regret and a little shame, churned around inside him , while they walked home from a date .
Regret because he was still with Ruka .
Shame because he had still not ended it with Ruka .
He had tried his best to avoid this date , he had ignored six calls and several texts from her over the course of the last few days till she had stormed into the boys locker room at Karaoke Village , even though she didn't even have a shift , threatening to go straight to his house if he didn't take her out .
And so he did, as soon as his shift was finished. He tried to smile and be nice to Ruka but his heart was not in it and it was painfully obvious that she was aware of it. That's why she was talking twice as loud as usual, with increased fervor and excitement as if to make up for the lack of either from Kazuya.
Finally, a few minutes away from where they would go their separate ways , Kazuya figured enough was enough and stopped walking.
Ruka stubbornly tried to pull him along but she couldn't and was forced to face him .
"Ruka-chan ,let's stop this " , Kazuya said , in as serious a manner as he could .
"No" , she replied without hesitation.
"Ruka-chan, I want to .."
"Doesn't matter " .
Kazuya bit his lip knowing that his next sentence was going to hurt and spoke,
"Ruka-chan, I don't have feelings for you . I like Mizuhara. I want to confess. And I shouldn't do do if I'm still with you " .
"She's just going to reject you anyway" , she snapped suddenly making Kazuya pause before she continued,
"That's why you should give up on her and stay with me .
And it's not like you don't want that deep down ".
"What ?" , Kazuya asked , surprised.
"I know that Chizuru-san's not going to your home for Christmas. I know because I called Grandma and pretended that my family was thinking of inviting Chizuru-san and Grandma told me she wasn't coming to your place.
So I know you didn't invite her. That shows deep down, you know she'll reject you " .
Kazuya was silent for some time as Ruka resumed waking before he spoke softly,
" I would still be .. "
"What ? " , Ruka-chan turned and asked,
Kazuya looked her straight in the eye and said,
"Even if Mizuhara rejects me in the most clear cut, coldest way possible, I would still be in love with her " .
Ruka stared at him wordlessly with a look colder than the icy wind before she spoke, quietly but firmly,
"I don't care, I'm your girlfriend. Not her ".
Kazuya was about to reply but saw a shine in her eyes and decided to keep quiet, shame and regret welling up inside him again.
Shame for how he was treating Ruka .
Regret that he still hadn't ended it with her.
Kazuya walked back to his apartment, hands in his pockets , kicking the snow in frustration over his inability to deal with Ruka .
"I've got to take care of this somehow " , he told himself.
"I can't tell Mizuhara unless it's over with Ruka-chan. I know I don't have a chance with Mizuhara but I don't care. I love her and I want her to know that. And whatever small chance I have that she'll even hear me out won't be there if I'm still with Ruka " .
His thoughts landed to that peerless beauty as he neared their apartments. How she had enjoyed every bit of their day together, how she had exploded after the movie , how excited she'd been about the KitKat they'd made together, how delighted she'd been to glide on the ice , gripping him tightly , all while beaming like it was the happiest moment of her life , how insistent she'd been about the photo and of course how she had opened up to him at the end .
"Things between us have changed so much ", he reflected.
"We're so much closer than I ever thought we'll be and maybe because of that ,despite my mind telling me I have no shot with her, despite the whole world knowing that someone like her would never want me , I still ... can't help believing that Mizuhara just might be ... happy if it's me " .
He grinned a little as he realized,
"I've become really hopeless haven't I?"
Christmas Morning ,
Chizuru glanced at the clock on the wall behind her dresser .
"It's almost time ", she thought to herself, as she almost furiously brushed her hair.
They hadn't set a specific time but Chizuru had figured 9 would be perfect. Not too early in the morning but plenty of time before he left for home. Time that she could spend with him.
"Stupid bangs , why today of all days ? " , she hissed into the mirror.
Finally after some water and ten minutes of effort , her hair was brushed neatly, resplendent in its long beauty .
She quickly popped in her contacts and put on her favorite cat brooch before pulling on a brand new hoodie, because she wanted to maintain a casual vibe.
She then grabbed the thermos of fresh Sobacha (Note: Buckwheat tea) she had made , gently picked up the wrapped box with his gift and walked towards her door .
She had just opened her door when she heard the neighboring door open as well . She immediately whipped her head around only too see that untidy mop of orange hair also turn hurriedly towards her .
They both grinned at each other awkwardly as Chizuru thought to herself,
"Of course we picked the same exact time ".
They then stepped out of their apartments and when they did they both noticed the brightly decorated cover in each other's hands .
"What's that ?", they asked at the same time before realizing and asking again, in perfect synchronization,
"You got me a gift ?" .
They both stopped talking feeling equal amounts of elation and embarrassment before Chizuru cleared her throat and said,
"Let's go in " .
They decided on Kazuya's apartment and so they went in and sat at the table before Chizuru placed the thermos and Kazuya the Mount Fuji box on the table. They both kept their gifts next to each other on the floor and kind of sized each other up before Kazuya scratched the back of his head sheepishly and began ,
"Umm ... " .
Chizuru jumped in , now feeling the embarrassment again,
"What's up with you getting me a gift ?" she asked, flustered with the fact that he had done just that
"It's Christmas right ? I mean ... " .
"It's my turn ", she interrupted and then pointed at the brooch on her hair , saying ,
"Or did you forget this ?"
Kazuya stared at it for a few second, smiling now , before explaining,
"That was a special occasion right ? And before that we had both gotten each other one gift right?"
Chizuru opened her mouth to argue but shut it again, admitting his sound logic . Of course she wasn't really angry . His simple gesture had overtaken her. As he always did.
She smiled looking at him properly for the first time , happy to see him matching her casual vibe with a black hoodie and sweatpants .
She picked up the box beside her and gave it to him. Instantly his smile widened and his face could barely contain all the excitement that was emanating from him .
"Geez , please don't cry this time " , she said hurriedly, pleased but also flustered again.
He shook his head to indicate that he was fine before he gently peeled the tape of the gift-wrapping , careful not to tear it. Once he had removed the wrapping and opened the box to find inside it a brightly colored printed paper, folded within itself , several times
A brochure .
Kazuya looked at her in confusion but she gestured to him to pick it up and he did just that, reading the receipt.
And then he jumped up , nearly exploding with excitement,
"Sunshine Aquarium ? "
Chizuru nodded, beaming with delight at how happy he was before she answered,
" I researched and found that it's supposed to be the best marine life exhibit in Tokyo. It's got over 550 different species, and a special luminescent jellyfish display and .. "
Kazuya jumped in enthusiastically,
"And a transparent tunnel where penguins swim around you and a sea lion show and a giant tank with an entire ecosystem . It's called "the oasis in the sky" for a reason. This is amazing. Thank you ".
Chizuru was silent for a few seconds as she took in his enthusiasm and relished in his happiness before she continued,
"Yeah , I got you tickets. Or rather I will because I don't know when or how many you want so I'll buy the tickets for you once you decide that " .
Kazuya nodded absolutely over the moon before Chizuru added ,
"And don't even think about asking for only one ticket , the minimum I'm getting you is two ".
He nodded again and Chizuru smiled again completely satisfied. Of course she knew exactly what she wanted from the second ticket .
"I'm not being selfish " , she told herself stubbornly.
"He likes going places with me anyway " .
Kazuya proceeded to flip through the brochure several times over, pointing out to Chizuru everything he wanted to go and see and every word from his mouth filled Chizuru with more and more happiness as she thought to herself,
"He's so happy. I really made the right choice".
Finally about fifteen minutes later, he put the brochure aside and then picked up the cover beside him and handed it to her, still grinning away .
Chizuru felt a little bit of anxiety and a lot of excitement herself as she put her hand in , enclosed her hand around it and pulled it out .
The novel she had been gazing at the other day, sat on her hands . The latest novel from her favorite author.
"The book? " , she asked, in a soft voice .
"Hmm " , Kazuya nodded before explaining,
"I could tell you really wanted it , so I got it for you " .
Chizuru was silent again as that though and feeling pulsated through her
"He always... knows just what to do ".
"Thank you ... so much " , she said to him, still softly.
She then gently ran her fingers across the spine of the book before gently opening it and finding another surprise.
Her fingers slightly shaking, she turned the book towards him , showed him the first page and asked,
"What's this ?"
Kazuya glanced at her before explaining,
"When I bought the book, I saw a poster for a promotional event for the author, so I went back to the store during the event and asked her to sign it for you . And ... I told her that you're the most hardworking person in the world, so she wrote that ."
Chizuru looked at the page again where there was the authors autograph and above that in beautiful, flowery writing was the words ,
" To Chizuru-san, Keep reaching for the stars".
She stared at the writing for a couple of minutes before slowly breathing,
"This is amazing ".
"You liked it ? " , Kazuya asked nervously.
She looked at him again, feeling heat spread across her,
"I said it's amazing , you idiot ."
They both smiled when she said that before Chizuru opened the thermos and Kazuya grabbed a couple of mugs into which she poured the Sobacha , which Kazuya loved and drank plenty of , telling her that it was "light" , "refreshing" , "nutty" even and overall "fantastic" , which made Chizuru's smile and laugh grow with each words.
They also ate their KitKat island and enjoyed it immensely, eating every crumb and joking about how "healthy" their breakfast had been .
They talked for a bit and then Kazuya asked,
"So you're headed to Shinbo's place after this ? "
"Yeah ", Chizuru replied .
"Her parents are going to visit relatives so we have the house to ourselves from afternoon ".
"You said it was a pajama party right? I hope you have a great time " .
"Thanks , you too ".
They spent another hour or so which was mostly Kazuya telling her Chizuru various funny stories of his which ultimately made her clutch her stomach in pain having laughed so much.
Then they decided that it was time both of them got going and so Kazuya saw Chizuru to her door where she stopped turned around and said with the biggest, brightest , most happiest smile possible,
"Merry Christmas ".
Kazuya felt his heart stop for a second before he too smiled and replied,
"Merry Christmas, Mizuhara ".
She turned to go in but lingered on her doorstep for a bit before she turned back to him and asked , the smile fading now,
"Hey , you have any plans for New Year's?"
"Eh ? " , Kazuya reacted surprised before he thought about it and answered,
"No , not really. Grandma will be with relatives so my parents will go by themselves to the shrine whenever they're free , so I'll just go by myself whenever, I guess ".
"I see " , Chizuru commented before she hesitated for a second.
"What's up with her ", Kazuya wondered but she answered that herself,
"Then ... do you want to go to the shrine together? On 31st night ? "
"What ?" , Kazuya asked , shocked as a thousand thoughts rushed through his head .
"Mizuhara wants to .. with me ? But.. that's... No way she would ... But ... "
He looked at her and saw her look back at him unflinchingly. He then remembered,
"She has no one else to go with. And spending New Year's alone is as miserable as it gets. And if Mizuhara wants to , with me ... then .. "
"Sure " , he said out aloud, as confident as he could.
"Let's do it " .
He watched her smile spread across her face again as she nodded before she said,
"See you later then " .
Kazuya stood perfectly still , dumbfounded but delighted.
Inside her apartment, Chizuru sank to the floor in relief and joy . She felt like jumping up and down but she controlled herself and then thought,
"No more excuses. I will do it " .
Soon Kazuya was in his house swarmed by his various relatives all delighted to see him, the only grandson of his grandfather ,and equally disappointed that Kazuya's young "wife" wasn't there . Yes , wife ,because Grandma's tales had led them to believe that Kazuya and Chizuru were married, a belief which a sputtering Kazuya tried his best to refute and managed to satisfy them with a "Not yet " .
He was a bit surprised that Grandma hadn't jumped in . In fact he thought that she seemed a little chilly towards him but in the end he figured,
"It's probably because she wanted Mizuhara to come ".
And so a crowded Christmas day passed in the Kinoshita household and at the same time in the Shinbo House, three young women drank glasses of eggnog and ate tubs of ice cream as they watched Christmas movies in their pajamas but the bespectacled brunette occasionally tapped the cat brooch on her forehead ,when a certain person crossed her mind and she felt that electric sensation again.
The Morning Of The 26th ,
Kazuya waved goodbye to the last of his relatives before going back inside and carrying Grandma's luggage to his Father's car . Dad was driving Grandma to the train station where she would meet with the relatives already on their way there .
Kazuya finished with the luggage and walked back inside saying, as he walked past the living room
"I'm done . You guys can leave now ".
He heard no response and turned into the living room about to repeat himself when he stopped in his tracks.
His grandmother , father and mother were all seated quietly in the living room . Grandma stared at him coldly , his father's gaze nearly burned a hole in the floor and his mother looked worried .
The atmosphere was as serious and silent as if someone had died.
"What ... " , Kazuya tried to speak but he was choked with fear .
After about five minutes , Grandma spoke softly but with undeniable firmness,
"Sit down, Kazuya ".
A/N : Kazuya and Chizuru reflect on a magical date, enjoy a lovely Christmas morning , set in stone plans for a potentially life changing New Year's .
Everything looked perfect but Kazuya's family seems to have something on their mind .
Next time : Grandma has something to say as wheels turn in the background and in the forefront .