Chapter 112: A Death Eater's Remorse

A/N: Here's Another Update...

My Thanks To All My Readers And Reviewers-S.S.

{"You let your feet run wild...Time has come as we all, oh, go down...Yeah but for the fall, ooh, my...Do you dare to look him right in the eyes? Yeah...Oh, 'cause they will run you down, down 'til the dark...Yes and they will run you down, down 'til you fall...And they will run you down, down 'til you go...Yeah, so you can't crawl no more...", Way Down We Go, KALEO}

The Battlements, Hogwarts Castle, Scotland, Wizarding World...

High winds blew as a lone Severus Snape stood amid the shadows of the columns and his billowing black robes as he stared out over the horizon. There was a chill in the air and the clouds seemed to reflect what he'd been feeling as he thought back on how his life had taken a turn for the worst. The agony he felt on the day he had seen Lily Evans-Potter lifeless amid her only son's bedroom while the clueless infant had sat nearby unsure of what to do as his world had crumbled around him before he'd even been old enough to know what he had before he'd lost it courtesy of The Dark Lord. The Potions Master was still stewing in a bit of annoyance from when he'd last conversed with The Headmaster, Albus Dumbledore. Needless to say, the bitter taste in the back of his throat had been lingering as if he'd been sucking on a lemon. His dark eyes had been filled with sorrow as every mistake he'd ever made seemed to have lead him to this moment.

Images of Narcissa at home at the mercy of recently freed death eaters while her son was laying in the infirmary courtesy of Potter and her husband imprisoned in Azkaban the worst place of all to be if one had been honest. He couldn't imagine the fear and turmoil they'd been going through, his family of sorts when he'd had no one. He had no doubt that they were suffering immeasurably as he had been as the chill from the winds seemed to seep into his very bones while he stood in relative silence not moving an inch as he contemplated the events that lead him to this moment and what would come afterward.

He could see Hermione's face before his eventual act and after as his stomach churned and her came to the conclusion that the illusion of whatever she felt for him would be shattered and he'd be scorned even by her the moment the truth came out, like the breaking of a weak glass one by one any relationship he'd built up in the past would crumble in an instant.

What had been worse, was the fact that Potter had been old enough to speak. Before when he'd been a baby, it had been easier to look upon him and hide the notion of sorrow that plagued the Potions Master for years. Now he'd been on the verge of becoming a man, and at the behest of The Headmaster, he was to be killed by The Dark Lord no matter what anyone had done.

{"All this time, you've been raising him like a pig to be led to slaughter?"} Snape had asked glaring at Dumbledore in disbelief.

{"Don't tell me now you've grown to care for the boy?"} asked Dumbledore with an arched brow.

Snape had taken out his wand and unleashed his largely hidden patronous.

{"Lily?"} the headmaster had said in shock as he watched the silvery doe dance out of the office and window before disappearing from sight. {"After all this time?"}

"Always." Snape said aloud as he turned his attention to the onset of rumbling thunder indicating a storm had been brewing in real time.

The image of Hermione Granger and her sweet smile as she approached him on more than one occasion had replayed in his mind as well. He had known all too well that he had not deserved her, nor would he ever.

Taking a few moments as he cool air seeped in to his very chest, Severus Snape found himself relinquishing his emotions for the second time in his life. He focused his efforts on sealing anything he had felt for the bushy haired girl and his late friend away and embraced the darkness that always seemed to have been lurking inside him.

The coldness seemed to feed it as he felt his emotions stifled and compartmentalized into the deepest darkest aspect of himself and the winds continued to blow around him with the scent of rain in the air. He was no longer her husband in that moment, only a death eater about to commit one of the most heinous acts of his life all the while going on about his day as if it were mere routine.

He would do this not for the old fool whom had opted it as a form of mercy killing.

He would do this for The Malfoys, For his young wife and even for Lily's son to have a life free of the war and the shadow of The Dark Lord.

He would do this so that Hermione could have a future without him. The greatest gift he could have ever given her as he'd known all too well that this war would be the end of him. A fitting thing given that she'd been the single greatest love of his tragic and often lonely life.

Snape's focus had been sharpened in the wake of his resolve being strengthened.

"I love you Hermione." he said one last time as he knew those words would never be able to leave his lips once his act had been discovered by her.

The coolness had been all through him stifling any ounce of emotion he had that lingered pushing it all the way down, as far as he could send it never to be seen again if he had his way. The breeze came through once more chilling him to the bone before he felt nothing. His emotions and the sensation of the world around him gone as his mind remained focused on the task at hand.

{"Has it ever crossed your brilliant mind that I do not want to do this anymore?"} The rather unnerved Severus Snape had said.

{"I will not negotiate with you, Severus."} The ailing Headmaster had insisted in annoyance. {"Remember what you promised me."}

Snape had closed his eyes pushing out the last of his memories.

"Anything." he said aloud as he gripped his wand tightly in his right hand.

He had promised to give Dumbledore anything he wanted if he had saved The Potters, of course Dumbledore hadn't kept his part of the bargain, but demanded the same price none the less. Of course now it had become a question of what he would do to save his beloved young wife.

If nothing else, he would see that The Malfoys, and Hermione Granger-Snape survived this war and live to have a future of their own even if that future didn't include him.