A/N: PLEASE READ THIS NOTE, WOULD YOU KINDLY?

"Remnants" is taking a bit of time to iron out, so have this int he meantime!

EDIT: You can "technically" consider this the second half of last chapter, given what happened. Raven's a load of fun to write in this story, as is Qrow. Always had a soft spot for them.

DOUBLE EDIT: Something needs to be said here. Because the lack of a stated final pairing in the description seems to be getting me a lot of flak lately. Without reviews, we don't write. Simple as that.

Please take that into mind before you hurl death threats over pairings. This is meant to be a feel-good-story, for crying out loud!

As ever, reviews are our fuel and we cherish each one we receive. Without proper feedback, my team and I can't update nearly as fast. We write these stories to entertain, after all. We want to hear what you all think and...silence hurts. It hurts a lot. More than any death threats or insult possibly could. Every word helps, every criticism is taken into account.

Once more, I own no quotes, references, or memes. Papa!Naruto is best Naruto, and woe betide anyone who hurts his kids.

Just another note, its been stated in an earlier chapter, if Naruto KNEW a way to seal Salem away for good, she'd be sealed by now. Killing her over and over again serves no purpose; she'll just come back to life seconds later. Short of standing guard over her and literally killing her for thousands of years -which is impossible- she's quite the hurdle at the moment.

Naruto likes to believe in people, and so wishes to believe that there's good in Salem.

That may come back to bite him. Then again, it may not. Who can say?

I'm a right tricksy writer when it comes to that sort of thing.

And I'm saving the rest of that Adam bit for...reasons.

I'm sure many of you know what I'm up to~!

"That was a fine chat, Adam."

"It really wasn't. I still don't believe you."

"Believe what you want. That's your choice. We'll keep in touch."

"Oh, and do behave, won't you? I'd hate for their to be any...misunderstandings."

"Don't mind Raven. She's feeling a little antsy. Nothing a bit of strong alcohol won't help, eh?"

~a strange discussion.

What Do We Do With A Drunken Birdie?

"Up and at 'em, sleeping beauty. The sun's starting to set."

Ice cold water splashed across the sleeping visage of one Qrow Branwen.

"Bleargh! Freaking cold! What the hell?!" the drunken huntsman jerked upright with an outraged howl, arms pinwheeling madly as he failed to block an attack that had already taken place. Bleary red eyes squinted in the low light as he searched for his assailant, to no avail. "Damnit, why?!" he spat a curse when a fresh deluge soaked him to the bone, ruining his clothes and leaving him shivering. "Up! I'm up! No more water, you sonuva bitch!"

"Now, now," someone cooed, "Is that any way to talk about our mother?"

Damnit, he knew that voice. Didn't he? Against his better judgement, the surly hunter raised his gaze. Sure enough he found a bemused Raven waiting for him, an empty bucket swinging in one hand she planted the other on her hip. Her grin was nothing short of smug. Of course it would be. His sister had a mean streak a mile wide and he knew she'd bash him with that bucket if he didn't get up.

"So it really is you."

"In the flesh." she titled her head to regard him as he stood, dark hair falling across one blood-red eye. "You look like shit, little brother."

Qrow bit back a grimace. Yeah, he felt like it, too. Why was that...oh. A memory crashed into the back of his skull and he rounded on his sister with a hiss.

It was a good thing she'd left him outside; had Raven dragged him back into the bakery, he was fairly certain he would've flung something a ther.

"Of course I feel like shit!" he cussed, stabbing a finger at his sibling. "You knocked me through a damn wall!"

"Only because you deserved it." Raven shrugged thoughtlessly, taking up a leaning position on a nearby tree. "You were soused out of your mind and swinging your sword around like an idiot. I'll have you know you ruined quite the touching moment back there, braying and shouting like you were."

"You still beat the shit outta me!" Qrow stubbornly stuck to his guns.

"Yes, I did." her brown turned stormy and for a fleeting moment, he actually saw her eyes flicker with crimson flames. "And if you don't stop whining like a little bitch, I'll gladly do it again."

Suspicion reared its ugly head in Qrow's heart as he scowled at his sibling. Flames. That hadn't been a trick of the light just now. But it shouldn't be possible. The Winter Maiden was accounted for. Jimmy Irondick wouldn't let her out of his sight. Fall was being trained by Summer down in Vacuo. And yet they'd all known Spring was missing for some time now, hadn't they? Which meant...oh. Oh, dear. Why wasn't she hiding it? Did she not feel the need to? Did she trust him enough to confide in him-no, she didn't trust him. She'd only She felt safe. Protected. Secure in her position.

"Rae, " he rasped, "What did you do?"

She lifted her chin defiantly. "What I had to."

What was she playing at here? She had to know he'd tell Ozpin. Didn't she? Yet there was no fear in her eyes. She looked...sated. Content. Happy, even. Qrow didn't want to dwell on it.

...screw it, I'm too sober for this."

He reached for his hip flask in search of comfort, only for his fingers to curl around empty air. Qrow twitched. Frowned. Did a double-take. Gone. His flask wasn't in its holster; in fact, it was nowhere to be seen. A flash of steal gleamed in his peripherals as his sister brandished his precious booze at him.

"Looking for this?" Raven purred.

"Give it back!"

"Nah. This is mine by right of conquest." She tipped it to her lips and drank deeply instead. "Ha!" She grinned a moment later and coughed heartily as she pulled away. "You always did like the strong stuff, didn't you. I'm pleased to see your taste hasn't changed."

Qrow growled, low and deep in his throat. "Where you always this much of a bitch?"

He'd said it more to get a rise out of her than anything else, but Raven didn't so much as bat an eyelash at the barb. Instead, she laughed at him. Actually laughed! With a lazy toss she flung his flask back at him, sending it tumbling through the air to land into his waiting palm.

"Maybe?" she shrugged. "I'm actually in a pretty good mood right about now. Count yourself lucky."

"Fine, I'll bite." Qrow gave her a black look. "Why did you come back?"

"I didn't come back." she countered. "I came home."

Qrow latched onto it. "Home?"

"Huh. Did I say that?" A faint tinge of pink suffused his sister's pale face as she tried to stand and thought better of it. "Oops." She'd been drinking, Qrow realized, watching her crash back against the tree again. Drinking a lot. Even before she'd woken him and snatched his flask. "Don't tell him I said that." She granted him a small, almost lazy smile. "He'd never let me down. I'd have to kill you."

Something -or someone!- had mellowed her out. He'd only seen her like this once before.

Shit. He'd almost forgotten why Oz had sent him down here in the first place. Granted, he'd wanted to find out who had gone and gotten Ruby drunk -the stories varied wildly!- so it was something of a two for one deal on that front, but Raven's words reminded him of his real purpose here. Nevermind this maiden business; if that blond bastard was back in town...well, things needed to be said. Ozpin would need to know. They'd been good friends, once upon a time. Before everything fell apart.

And if memory served, he was responsible for leaving Ruby with quite the hangover.

"So, 'ol whiskers finally came back to Vale, did he?" he couldn't quite keep the shit-eating grin from his face. "He in? I wanna have a chat with him."

Raven pursed her lips. "Bad idea, Qrow. Even for you."

"I don't wanna kill him or anything; I just wanna talk to him." Harbinger clicked ominously as he wrapped his fingers around the hilt of his weapon. "Loudly. Repeatedly. With my scythe."

As if to punctuate those very words, a deep and hollow clang ran out behind the bakery.

"Eh?" Qrow blinked blearily and craned his neck toward it. "The hell was that? Sound like an explosion or something."

Raven scoffed. "Father daughter bonding. What else? They've just started."

"Kick his ass, Pyrrha!" a boisterous voice called!

Qrow's brow rose. "And that...?"

"That," His sister bridled, and here a touch of her old, prickly nature finally crept back in. "Is a demon masquerading as a girl. Don't be be fooled, little brother." she held up a finger as though to ward him off. "She's evil, I tell you. A devil in disguise. You need to kill her, Qrow. That, or placate her with pancakes. Its the only way."

"Rae, she sounds like a kid. She can't be that bad-

"Eeeeevil." she slurred the word. "Come and see for yourself. Or don't. Its quite the show."

She flounced off before he could hope to interrogate her further, hips swaying. Damnit. Qrow sighed and stumbled after her at a jog, following his sister out back.

She wasn't kidding.

A space had been cleared in the dirt for a pair of fighters, something of an impromptu circular ring arranged with chalk lines and colorful flags. Someone had even gone so far as to erect a food stand nearby, alongside a pair of steel bleachers. Huh. He didn't remember those being there back when he'd stormed the bakery. Certainly not the brats that all but filled them.

"Go, go! Pyrrha! Go!"

Keen eyes took in a pair of young men flanking a girl with bright orange hair; the latter was currently screaming her heart out as hugged a small Faunus girl with antlers sprouting from her head. Judging by the evil eye Raven gave them both, she wasn't fond of either. He didn't recognize any of them, but he did recognize their uniforms, and those of the four girls sitting above them.

Wait. Where those his nieces...?!

"Go, Naruto!"

Qrow twitched, only now recognizing someone in the brawl below.

In the center of the ring a young man and a younger woman flew at one another time and again. The combatants didn't move. They danced. It was like watching a wild waltz of blood and flesh and steel. Those two...if he didn't know better, he'd think they were trying to kill each other. No, wait. He took that back. They just might be-

Crunch.

A distant clamor behind him caught his attention.

Raven stilled beside him, drawn from her stupor by the sound.

Qrow turned, followed her gaze, saw what she saw, and frowned. Someone had left the lights on back in the bakery. They'd been off a moment ago. He remembered that much; wasn't that hungover to forget something simple like that. There was someone in there. Moving around. Someone that shouldn't be. Harbinger slid from her sheathe with a silent rasp of steel. Omen joined it not a heartbeat later.

In unison, the Branwen siblings stormed back the way they'd come, weapons drawn.

Qrow couldn't help but offer one final curse as he opened the door.

A pair of mismatching eyes poked up behind the counter to greet him, framed by wild hair that vaguely reminded him of a certain ice cream flavor. There was a spoon held tight between her lips. She tilted her head and favored them with a saccharine grin around said spoon.

"Damnit, Neo!" an unfamiliar voice called as someone slipped out of the back room the corner. "Hurry up with the damn charges-

Roman Torchwick saw them. Roman Torchwick blinked. Roman Torchwick hissed and fumbled for his weapon.

"Shit, shit, shit-

Qrow didn't even have time to attack; Raven beat him to it by a country mile. He'd only just stepped forward, only just readied his weapon when he heard his sister swear somewhere behind him. Then she drove the hilt into the back of his neck. His world went black all over gain as he pitched forward into the floor. Before he passed out, he had time enough for one last curse. Damn Semblance.

"Me and my bad luck...

(.0.0.0.)

Pyrrha was losing, and she loved every minute of it.

No matter how hard she fought, no matter what weapon combination she wielded, she found herself beaten back time and again. Her arms arched. Her heart pounded furiously in her ears. Her Aura plummeted with every strike and counter strike that followed.

All the while, everyone continued to cheer for her. Well, Team JNPR cheered. Team RWBY was firmly in Naruto's camp, much to her dismay.

"Go for the throat, Pyrrha!"

Really, this was all Nora's fault. She just couldn't keep her big mouth shut.

The bubbly grenadier had gone and blabbed to Ren, who'd told Jaune, who then said something to Ruby. Once Ruby knew about tonight's bout, she'd informed her team. In return, they'd been overhead by a curious Team CFVY. From there, it was something of a foregone conclusion.

Father didn't fight like a huntsman. She'd been trained by those before. There was no grace or style to his movements, only cold, brutal efficiency. His style was wild and unpredictable, limbs bending at vicious angles to seek her vital and strike deeper into her defenses than he had any right to.

He fought dirty. He fought like an assassin. It was both terrifying and thrilling altogether.

Sweat flicked her forehead as she flung herself backward. A few stray droplets flew from her skin and were summarily obliterated a heartbeat later as Naruto's clenched fist passed through the space she'd just occupied. A tiny smile wreathed his features as he chambered his punch and stepped in, ringing her shield like a gong. Her right arm screamed.

Was this how her opponents felt when she'd fought them? Like prey?

Even when he held back, her best wasn't enough to beat him. And it showed.

She struck out at his face with a shield bash, but rather than evade like any sane person would, the blond stepped in and slapped it away with his bare hand. Pyrrha yelped and narrowly managed to intercept him with her sword, but he batted that away too with an open palm. With! Bare! Hands! Flesh wasn't metal to strike metal, and she wasn't sure how he could just punch a shield or grab a sword without feeling pain, but he did.

His fist cut dangerously close to her face, wrapped metal knuckles brushing her cheek.

A tiny cut opened there; then the sheer force behind the blow sent her spinning away.

Ordinarily, she didn't like to lose-no, actually, she hated it.

But when her father rang her head like a bell?

She'd never been happier.

She was going to lose if this kept up. She couldn't remember the last time she'd lost. It had been, what...years? She wasn't sure. She vaguely recalled losing before, but not recently. Not since her first tournament victory, not since the sponsors and the media and all that awfulness that followed. Not since she'd become the Invincible Girl.

Now she was being batted about like a rank amateur. It was freeing. A reminder that she wasn't invincible, wasn't almighty, wasn't alone.

Ears ringing, vision swimming, Pyrrha fell back on a trice and true tactic, if a somewhat dishonorable one. She flared her semblance, trying to use it against his metal bracers. Everyone wore some form of metal on their person, be it weapon or otherwise, and Father was no exception. A thorn of regret pricked at her heart, but she didn't relent. Victory was hers.

Imagine her surprise then, when her sire simply sped up.

"What?!" A tiny squeak of surprise fled from her lips, but it was too late. He was on her in an instant, barreling through her guard, ripping her sword away to ram an open palm into her stomach.

With a startled gasp, Pyrra fell right on her ass.

Someone was laughing. It took the champion several seconds to realize it was her.

"That was grand." she grinned at him. "I can't remember the last time I lost that badly."

"You weren't so bad yourself." When he offered her his hand, Pyrrha accepted it gladly and allowed him to hoist her to her feet. "Relied a little to much on your bloodline there at the end, though." His smile filled her with warmth, but the last few words brought a pang of mild concern.

Pyrrha blinked. What was that word just now?

"Still, I didn't think you'd have the Magnet Release." Naruto pushed on, heedless of her confusion. "Not a bad bloodline, given your profession."

"I'm afraid I don't understand." the redhead blinked. "Bloodline? What're you talking about? This is my Semblance. Polarity."

"Nope." Naruto shook his head.

"But-

"Nope." he grinned and the setting sun caught his golden hair just so, making it shine. For an instant, Pyrrha saw how her mother had fallen for him. Father was...pure, for lack of a better word. She'd never feel such a thing for her own flesh and blood of course, but she wanted someone like that for herself. Someone who could smile like that. Someone confident. Someone who didn't care about her fame.

Unbidden, her eyes strayed back to the bleachers...until Naruto he shattered her world yet again.

"That's not your Semblance." he sounded so certain, so sure, that she couldn't help but believe him. "You haven't unlocked it yet."

Pyrrha caught herself from reeling. But...but that didn't make any sense! "What's a bloodline, then?"

"Its something that you inherit at birth." Father stepped back, his word taking on a lecturing tone. "When I was younger, I was able to use the Magnet Release due to some...unique circumstances. Frankly, I still can if feel like it." Blue eyes narrowed and she felt her shield quiver in her grasp for a moment as he made his point. "See? Not a Semblance. I don't have one of those. But you?"

His hand descended and ran through her hair. She leaned into it without so much as a second thought.

"You're going to be amazing, once you unlock yours, Pyrrha, I just know it."

Her cheeks warmed at the praise.

"Now in the future, I'd like you to work a bit more on your form-

"THAT WAS AMAZING!"

Nora tackled her like an Ursa and nearly crushed her ribs in a titanic hug as she babbled happily. "You two were all like, wham, smash, kapow!"

"I think she liked it." Father chuckled.

"Liked it?!" Nora dropped Pyrrha and rounded on him. "I loved it! When do I get a turn?!"

"When you can make the perfect pancake." he countered quickly.

Nora wilted. "Meanie...

A distant commotion within the bakery caught Pyrrha's attention, just then.

"What was that?"

"Sounds like Qrow finally woke up." Naruto hummed. "Lets call it here, for today. Don't think your mother would like it if I gave you a bruise. By the way...got your eyes on any boys here?" Pyrrha felt her face redden anew. It was such a dad question that she didn't think to deny him an answer. Maybe she should have. "C'mon now, indulge an old man's curiosity."

"There...there is one." she answered meekly.

"That so?" Naruto's smile twitched. Just a bit. "He got a name?"

...Jaune." a tiny bubble of frustration welled up within her as she gazed back to the stands. Jaune didn't see her; he was too busy chatting animatedly with Ruby. The sight stung more than she cared to admit. "I've been training him, but I don't think he's even aware of me...or my feelings."

"Hmm. Jaune, eh? Jaune." Her father's smile grew three sizes that day, and not in a pleasant way. "Maybe I should have a word with him."

Those words sounded innocent enough, but for some reason they filled Pyrrha with dread. Jaune wasn't strong. Jaune was soft. Jaune was squishy. Naruto would snap him in half! She had only one defense against them, a single sentence to defend her crush against all the horrors the whiskered warrior wished to visit upon him.

"Daddy, no!"

Naruto cackled all the way back to the shop.

As luck would have it, Qrow Branwen was not awake after all. They found the poor man sprawled on the floor and Raven standing over him, one boot planted firmly on his chest, with her sword drawn. Had that been the end of it, perhaps they might yet have avoided the spectacular disaster that followed. Sadly, it was not to be.

Because Raven was pointing her sword at someone else, tickling their chin with crimson steel.

Pyrrha's eyes followed the length of the blade, and widened when she recognized the individual at the end of it. How could she not? The man's face was plastered on wanted posters throughout Vale. She knew that cheeky grin, that orange hair, that distinctive black bowler cap and flaring white coat.

"Oh, what the hell." Roman Torcwhick hissed as he saw them. "Nobody told me this was your place! Is there no honor among thieves?! Is nothing sacred anymore?!"

She did not, however, recognize the young girl currently choking to death in Raven's left hand. Cold red eyes gazed at the poor thing as her little legs kicked futilely in the air, mismatching eyes widening in horror as she gasped for air. Raven was smiling at her, and it was a cruel thing indeed. Almost as if she were enjoying it, reveling in the act of slowly watching the life leave her eyes-

"Raven!" Naruto snapped. "Drop the girl!"

"They were going to blow up your shop." came the growl.

"Don't care." the blond slashed a hand through the air. "Drop her. Now."

Remarkably, the woman obeyed and released her prey. Against her better judgement, Pyrrha dashed to the girl's side and tried to steady her. Tiny hands clutched at her. She looked so small. So afraid. And yet Raven was ready to kill her at the drop of a hat. Why? Why was this happening? She didn't understand, and it terrified her, threatening to ruin what had, until this very moment, been a wonderful evening.

"I don't understand." the words all but tumbled from her lips as she looked about, casting for an answer. "What's going on here?"

Naruto blew out an angry breath. "Well...this actually works out. Been meaning to talk to you. Roman, my boy...

He spun a chair out for the thief.

A clawed hand beckoned to said chair with graceful poise.

...lets have a little chat." It was command, not an invitation. "Whaddya say?"

A/N: Ask and ye shall receive!

We'll pick up right where we left off next chapter.

Seriously, several of the scenes you see in this story come from the minds of readers like you. Suggestions were made, and the best ones made it into this story. So by all means, speak your minds. We love hearing from you guys.

Pyrrha's fight kinda took over this chapter, didn't it? To quote her? I'm sorry! Roman and Neo will have their time to shine in the next, rest assured.

Some have compared Naruto to John Wick in this story; they're right on the money, in a sense. Both are absolutely lethal, both left behind their chosen professions for the sake of a normal life. Wick went that way for love, while Naruto lost his and decided to try his hand at a more mundane lifestyle for awhile. He's not disillusioned with his way of life, he simply sought a more enjoyable career rather than live as a glorified Grimm Slayer. But unlike Wick, he has a lot more to protect.

Lets set up a theoretical scenario. Wick loses his puppy to some punk kid. Result? A sizable body count.

Naruto loses a daughter, or gods forbid...Raven? Vanessa? Both? Goodbye Vale. If he loses everyone? Goodbye REMNANT.

Meanwhile we have Cinder doing Salem' bidding, woefully unaware of the ticking time-bomb nearby. Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. Might wanna watch your step there, Cindy. This is one dragon you don't want to wake...

As ever, reviews are my lifeblood. Without them, I cannot write.

So In the Immortal Words of Atlas...

...Revieeeeew, Would You Kindly?

They keeps an old man alive.

And enjoy the previews.

As ever:

SPOILER! SPOILER! SPOILER!

PLOT DETAILS AHOY!

YE BE WARNED!

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Obvious references are obvious~!

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By all means, tell which ones you like~!

Adam hissed and Blake hissed right back. "What is this?!"

"Counseling." Naruto chirped. "Now sit the hell down, eat your cake, and talk."

Vanessa hummed softly as she stepped inside.

"Such a lovely place. Needs a bit of sprucing up, though."

Pyrrha noticed the large case slung over her mother's shoulder. "You...brought your weapon?"

"Of course I brought it along, dear." Vanessa smiled sweetly. "I've got a man-stealing hussy to slay...or seduce. Whichever comes first, I suppose. Now, where is that little birdie...

"You're actually bringing your weapon?" Raven regarded the ringed staff in his hand with a look of dread. "Is that...wise?"

"Might need to break some bones." the blond hummed. "I'll be back in a few hours. Don't mind me."

"Sweetie," Vanessa sighed, "Pyrrha's going on a date, not a mission! She'll be fine!"

...might need to break her date, then." Naruto amended quickly.

"I'm more afraid of you breaking the damn continent!"

"People keep asking if i'm back. And I haven't really had an answer. I wanted to leave my old life behind. Be something better, you know?" Raven stood slowly, sending the chair spinning behind her. "I was tired of fighting a pointless battle in a pointless war. I wanted to prove something to myself. Prove that I could be better. But now?" a hand flew to the hilt of her sword. "I'm thinking I'm back. Now get your filthy mitts off my kid and give her back or so help me...

Red eyes burned with unholy scarlet flames.

...YOU WILL DIE SCREAMING."

"It was a good plan." Naruto acknowledged their shout with a nod. "Really it was. Short. Brutish. Simple. But you made one critical mistake. You tried to take away what was mine." The gun rose in his hand with an ominous click. You know, I really don't like using these things." he remarked, gazing at the cold metal barrel with quiet disdain. "They're so uncivilized. But you can't deny they're efficient. One shot. One kill. For what it's worth, I'm sorry...but Roman's my kid, which technically makes Neo my granddaughter, now that I think about it. Cinder's annoying enough, but I want to deal with her. You, however...well, I just can't abide anymore harm coming to them.

He squeezed the trigger and a single round slammed into their skull.

R&R~!